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The weight of the badge: A life committed to service · Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News

• 0:04
  We are faith and fury.
• 0:06
  Love and fire.
• 0:09
  This is the human equation where every voice counts and every truth cuts deep.
• 0:17
  With your host, Joseph Pangaro.
• 0:20
  Hello, everybody, and welcome to the human equation.
• 0:23
  I'm your host, Joseph Pangaro.
• 0:26
  And this is our Friday Get Together.
• 0:30
  So in the human condition, as I look around, I say, what is it I want to talk about?
• 0:36
  You know, what are what are things going on in people's lives that are something that maybe it's maybe sometimes it's in the background, and we don't think about it until it either happens to us or it happens to somebody close by, and there's there's a lot of those kind of things.
• 0:53
  So a couple episodes back, I started talking about relationships.
• 0:59
  And I find relationships are different at this point in my life that I've reached the age of 60, as opposed to when I was younger.
• 1:10
  And I have something to juxtapose my experience with, and that would be the experience of some young people that I know that are in their mid-20s.
• 1:20
  And male and female.
• 1:22
  And they are trying to figure out how to have relationships.
• 1:28
  Well, as I was talking to a couple of these young people, I I listened to them on social media.
• 1:36
  I've been trying to do some research for this because you know I have my book that's coming out, hopefully in September, uh, is called unstuck, and it's how to get unstuck from all kinds of life situations.
• 1:48
  Well, I didn't realize how many situations there are to be stuck in until you start to look around, and maybe it's not your experience, right?
• 1:56
  But I have found that some of us can get stuck on our career.
• 2:02
  You know, you hate your job.
• 2:04
  But can you leave?
• 2:05
  Can you not leave the job?
• 2:08
  You might be in a relationship that's bad.
• 2:10
  If it's if it's violent, you should get out.
• 2:13
  What if it's a loveless relationship?
• 2:16
  You know, this is this is huge, and it's just starting to be talked about out in the world.
• 2:22
  What if you you can't seem to find anybody?
• 2:26
  Then I realized there's a whole world of people out there that are stuck in grief.
• 2:30
  You know, uh, everybody that's been listening knows that I lost my wife nine months ago.
• 2:34
  And it's been a very strange process because I've seen other people go through it.
• 2:40
  I've been in grief when I lost my parents, you know, but I uh many years ago, and they're parents, and you expect your parents are gonna go, right?
• 2:48
  I fully well expect my children.
• 2:50
  Uh they'd probably be sad when I go, but they they have to expect, you know, your parents go.
• 2:56
  Now I know it was devastating, and it is still devastating to them that they lost their mother unexpectedly.
• 3:02
  You know, uh, that my Kathleen just disappeared in in five weeks is just it's hard to even comprehend.
• 3:09
  But I started to feel like I was stuck there.
• 3:11
  So my point is is as we look around, we can be stuck in grief, we can be stuck in jobs, stuck in relationships.
• 3:18
  And then I have a couple of friends of mine who recently got divorced in their late 50s, and you realized, well, first they were stuck in bad marriages, and they didn't know how to get out until it came to a head, but now they have new lives, and they're they have to reinvent themselves and figure out who they are, and they're a totally different person than they were back in their 20s and 30s when they got married.
• 3:42
  Just like a person in grief that is all of a sudden, you know, single again.
• 3:47
  Uh, and I don't mean single in in the world of dating, because that is really the last thing on my mind at this particular point in my life.
• 3:54
  But the reality is I I am not part of a couple anymore.
• 3:58
  I am a single man, uh, doing things on my own in ways that I never imagined I would have.
• 4:06
  I really thought my wife was gonna be the one who was gonna be uh, you know, single uh because I would have gone.
• 4:12
  But the reality is people are stuck in this grief.
• 4:16
  I know a lot of people who are so stuck.
• 4:18
  Well, people are stuck in in their lives when they get divorced, and I said, geez, you know, I never thought of that because it was never a part of my life to get divorced.
• 4:28
  I never saw it.
• 4:29
  I, you know, it doesn't mean we didn't have some tough times, every relationship of 40 something years does.
• 4:35
  But the reality is that was never really on the table to get divorced, to destroy our family to go separate ways, and there was no violence in our relationship.
• 4:44
  But I I've talked to these people and they are absolutely stuck, and now I see these young people, and they are stuck in a different way.
• 4:54
  They are stuck in a way that they're having a really hard time moving forward into long-term relationships and families because the whole world is so different for them than it was for me, you know.
• 5:09
  And as I talk to them, I say, okay, well, I I watch the social media, I see all these people out there, these young people, men and women talking about, you know, uh men are horrible, men are everything, men are terrible, men are not trustworthy, men are dogs, men are nasty, uh I got ghosted, all that kind of stuff.
• 5:28
  And then we see the guys talking about you can't trust girls, they're out sleeping with everybody, and you know, by the time uh they get to you, yeah, they want to settle down, but they've been with 40 guys, and I don't want that, and you know, and they are stuck in what I think is their belief system and in the world that they were raised in for relationships, right?
• 5:52
  Isn't this the human condition?
• 5:53
  So it it just happens to be funny, and I don't I don't think I mean funny haha, I mean funny strange that when you start to research something, you know, you go in and you go to one of the uh the platforms and you start researching things and looking for things, all of a sudden you hit an algorithm, and so if I research um, you know, uh toenail fungus, and all of a sudden I get 90,000 videos and things about toenail fungus and podiatric doctors and this, you know, that's just how the algorithms are set up.
• 6:23
  But I go in there and I'm researching modern relationships and um relationships of 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, to look at the differences between expectations and desires and things that we wanted to do, and then you combine that by your own experience, and then you talk to younger people and you see what's going on with them.
• 6:47
  Well, I got into this algorithm uh where now I'm getting people of all different ages with all these complaints about people and expectations are so crazy, and it's it's understandable to see how hard it is.
• 7:00
  How hard it is.
• 7:02
  And I then I started getting these video clips of I guess you call it training.
• 7:02
  And I then I started getting these uh these video clips of I guess you call it training, training from the 1950s for young people on how to date, dating etiquette, um, expectations of of the male and the female.
• 7:09
  Training from the 1950s for young people on how to date, dating etiquette, expectations of of the male and the female.
• 7:19
  I mean, look at our modern world.
• 7:19
  I mean, look at our modern world.
• 7:21
  We can't even we can't even dis decide who's a male and who's a female anymore, let alone uh you know how we're gonna interact with each other.
• 7:21
  We can't even we can't even just decide who's a male and who's a female anymore, let alone uh you know how we're gonna interact with each other.
• 7:27
  That's that's part of the problem.
• 7:27
  That's that's part of the the problem, but.
• 7:29
  But when I look back and these videos start popping up, and they are all these young people, um, you know, Bob is gonna ask Mary to go to the dance.
• 7:40
  The right way for Bob to ask is to call on the phone, be friendly, be nice, understand that Mary may be nervous about the call.
• 7:49
  Take that into consideration.
• 7:50
  And then they show you a phone call, and then Mary answers, oh hi Bob.
• 7:55
  Uh, you know, oh, you won the big game on Saturday.
• 7:57
  That must have been exciting.
• 7:59
  And the narrator in the back says, see, they're engaging in mutual conversation that makes them comfortable.
• 8:05
  And then they showed you how to pick up your date uh at the house and who you should speak to, and how you should dress, and just amazing that they actually had this kind of social interaction um training, so to speak, right?
• 8:22
  And on how to be a man at the time, how to be responsible for your family and protect your wife and protect your children and provide for them and this, and then how to take care of the home, how the mother should take care of the home.
• 8:36
  Now, doesn't it even sound foreign for me to be saying such a thing for the mother to take care of the home?
• 8:43
  Well, there's also a big thing going on out there now in the world for these young people of these um the differences between the two different kinds of women who are looking to get into relationships.
• 8:54
  You have the uh what they're calling uh the boss, the boss lady who wants to be pretty much just like a man, wants to be a man, uh, and make the same decisions as a man and live like a man.
• 9:04
  Okay, that's that's the modern world.
• 9:06
  And then you have what they're calling trad wives, or women who want to be trad wives, in other words, traditional wives, take care of the home, take care of the husband, manage the affairs of of having children, all of the things that in the past, I don't know, 40 years since the 1970s was uh, you know, considered uh uh horrible, oppressive that women should uh be uh be a wife and stay at home and take care of the home and take care of the children.
• 9:34
  That's so demeaning she should be out there being a CEO and running companies and doing okay, if that's what you want to do, that's fine.
• 9:41
  But what I see from my perspective of my research, my life experience, and the experience of these young people that I I love and trust, is that you see where some of these problems come in.
• 9:54
  Now I know some of you out there are younger, and you're probably you're you're your eyes are rolling, you know, smoke's coming out of your ears.
• 10:00
  How dare you say these things?
• 10:02
  What I'm saying is that traditional relationships and the things that went into traditional relationships produced long-term relationships and families, families with children, families with legacy, uh families that succeed.
• 10:20
  Um we know that in a two-parent household, children do much better.
• 10:25
  Uh, we know that for our our nation, we need to repopulate our nation from within.
• 10:30
  You know, there was a time when having four children was normal.
• 10:34
  My mother came from a family of 13.
• 10:37
  13 children, right?
• 10:39
  And that when you talk to people, they say, Oh, yeah, my grandmother was one of 10, and my father.
• 10:44
  Now, did they they didn't have birth control, so every time they got together, they got pregnant.
• 10:47
  That's probably really what happened.
• 10:49
  But it tells you, hey, at least they have in a relationship where they were getting together, having a sexual relationship uh throughout their marriage.
• 10:56
  So I'm trying not to confuse all these different ideas.
• 10:59
  I'm just trying to lay the groundwork for the reality of how relationships have changed, and I guess depending on where you are, at your age, how you see the world.
• 11:11
  So talking to these young people, I said, listen, I've been seeing these videos and and watching the social media of males and females, guys and girls talking about each other and how you know they're horrible and everybody's out for this and that and and that kind of stuff.
• 11:27
  Uh is it really like that?
• 11:29
  And they say, well, it really is.
• 11:31
  You know, um, a lot of guys that are out there are just out for uh access to women's bodies.
• 11:37
  They're not out for a long-term relationship, they just want to have access to female bodies.
• 11:42
  So they will lie to you, they will cheat, they will do what they want, and once they get the sex thereafter, then they disappear.
• 11:48
  They ghost you, they move on to the next one.
• 11:50
  And I talk to guys, and they're like, yeah, these girls, you know, now they they want uh you gotta be six foot tall and have abs and have a hundred thousand dollar a year job, otherwise you're not getting access to women, right?
• 12:02
  They they don't want to, if you, you know, you're five foot seven and you got a sixty thousand dollar a year job, you have very, very limited uh options when it comes to women.
• 12:11
  And and it's just it's it's a different world that they're living in.
• 12:16
  Now, one of the things that I see, probably the number one thing that I see is different, is when I was out in the dating world in the late 1970s, early 1980s.
• 12:29
  I was you know, 16, 17, 18, 19 years old.
• 12:33
  When I was out there, there was no social media.
• 12:36
  You didn't go on an app and look at pictures of people and decide who you liked and swipe right or swipe left, and maybe you talk to them or you don't.
• 12:44
  You had to actually meet people.
• 12:46
  You had to actually talk to people, have conversations.
• 12:50
  And you got to know somebody.
• 12:52
  You got to know if there was chemistry right away because you met them in person, uh, either at a party, at an event, big thing was going out to the bars, right?
• 13:01
  You went out to the bar, you had some cocktails with your friends, you saw a girl that you liked, you went over, you talked to her.
• 13:07
  She either talked to you, and you realized, oh, maybe there's something here, or she rebuffed you and you realize she don't like you.
• 13:13
  So you'd go on to the next one.
• 13:16
  Um it was it was a very real and connected way of dealing with people.
• 13:23
  You know, even even my own uh beautiful wife Kathleen, how we met.
• 13:27
  Uh, we both went to a party, not together.
• 13:30
  We didn't even know each other, really.
• 13:33
  Um there's a funny story there, and I'll tell you that when I'm if I have a minute, but we we we knew mutual people that were connected in our age group through school and through different social activities, but we didn't know each other.
• 13:46
  I mean, I didn't know Kathy.
• 13:48
  Um, but we were out at this local local bar here that you know, back in the day, it's a hard to imagine now, but we would go out at 10 o'clock at night, and that's when our night would start, and it would go till three, four in the morning where we ended up at the diner having cocktails.
• 14:00
  Start and it would go till three, four in the morning where we ended up at the diner having cocktails.
• 14:04
  I mean, having uh food to eat at three or four o'clock in the morning, then you go home and sleep it off and start another day.
• 14:04
  I mean, having food to eat at three or four o'clock in the morning, then you go home and sleep it off and start another day.
• 14:10
  Now I can't imagine.
• 14:10
  Now I can't imagine imagine going out at 10 o'clock at night.
• 14:11
  Imagine going out at 10 o'clock at night.
• 14:13
  I mean, I still do it once in a while, but it's not something that's got the same interest for me as it did back in the day.
• 14:13
  I mean, I still do it once in a while, but it's not something that's got the same interest for me as it did back in the day.
• 14:19
  Do you remember that?
• 14:19
  Do you remember that?
• 14:19
  Partying all night.
• 14:19
  Partying all night.
• 14:20
  Remember partying all night and then going right to work, right?
• 14:20
  Remember partying all night and then going right to work, right?
• 14:23
  Uh a lot of us, you know, did that.
• 14:23
  I a lot of us, you know, did that.
• 14:25
  But anyway, I I was at this party, and there was lots of guys.
• 14:25
  But anyway, I I was at this party, and there was lots of guys and girls there, and there was music, and then, you know, some of the girls start dancing, and some of the dopey guys, you know, they were embarrassed to dance, they don't know how to dance, they're not dancers, they're too tough, they're too dis and not me.
• 14:41
  Joe would get up uh and and go dance with the pretty girls because if the girls are dancing and they're dancing alone, they would love to have a guy jump up there and dance with them.
• 14:51
  So you know what I did?
• 14:52
  I said, hey, I want to uh get with the girls, so I'm gonna go where the girls are.
• 14:58
  So I got up and I started dancing, and I was just dancing, you know, with the you know, one girl, and then uh another song, there's I dance with a different girl.
• 15:05
  Well, I ended up dancing with Kathleen.
• 15:08
  You know, we ended up dancing, and as we were dancing, I could feel, and I know she did too, which we've talked about a million times.
• 15:15
  We could feel some kind of a chemistry that I didn't have with the first three or four girls I danced with there, or I talked to throughout the night in the party.
• 15:24
  There was some kind of a chemistry I had with Kathy, and we could tell that because we were talking, we were laughing, we were joking, there was all the body language that gave you the cues that oh, she was interested, and and I was giving cues that she knew I was interested.
• 15:39
  When the dance was over, you know, with the other girls, I I, you know, I I went back to my buddies, or I had another beer, I walked over her, her and I, Kathy and I didn't walk away.
• 15:49
  We went over and we sat down and started talking.
• 15:53
  Oh, yeah, what school do you go to?
• 15:54
  Where do you go?
• 15:55
  What are you interested in?
• 15:56
  We started to have conversations.
• 15:58
  We started to have conversations.
• 16:00
  Um, and at that point, we realized we kind of liked each other.
• 16:05
  And I wanted to get her number, right?
• 16:07
  That's how you met back in there.
• 16:08
  Can I have your number?
• 16:08
  And then you would, you know, call up and go out on a date.
• 16:11
  That's we didn't have the apps, we didn't have social media, we didn't have all this this craziness that young people have today.
• 16:18
  And it was funny because the party was coming to an end.
• 16:22
  Uh the person running the party obviously was, I don't know, 12 o'clock or whatever, and they were like, all right, we gotta shut down the party.
• 16:29
  And then Kathy says to me, Um, I said, Oh, it was nice meeting you, this, that, and the other thing.
• 16:34
  And then she says, Hey, listen, are you going to the after party?
• 16:37
  And I said, Where?
• 16:39
  And she says, Oh, it's uh, it's over at this uh at this bar, you know, we're going over to meet over there.
• 16:44
  And I said, Sure, I'd love to go to that party.
• 16:46
  Now I was there with my guy friends, my wingmen, but guess what?
• 16:50
  I got a connection.
• 16:51
  See you, fellas, I'm on my own.
• 16:52
  So I said to her, Well, give me your number in case, you know, in case we get separated here.
• 17:00
  If we get separated here on the way to the party, sorry, that's really terrible.
• 17:06
  Uh, if something comes up, you know, maybe I I get lost that I don't find the party, whatever it is.
• 17:12
  Can let me have your number.
• 17:13
  So she hands me my number, and she says, hey, listen, you can follow me and my friend over to the party.
• 17:20
  And I said to her, you know what?
• 17:23
  I'll follow you anywhere.
• 17:25
  And I followed her to the party, and we had a great time at the at the after party, uh, so much so that we ended up dancing and talking more, and this, that, and the other thing.
• 17:35
  There was no, there was no sex, there was no uh crazy, you know, petting going on.
• 17:39
  We just could feel we really liked each other.
• 17:42
  And I said, Hey, I got your number, I'll I'll call you in a couple days, you know, maybe we'll go out, go to the movies or do something.
• 17:47
  And she's like, Yeah, that'd be great.
• 17:48
  And we went our separate ways.
• 17:51
  But but the reality, the whole purpose of the story is to tell you that we we actually had to interact, and we could tell there was chemistry right away.
• 18:01
  We we could feel each other out with the questions that we were asking about our lives, telling a little bit about yourself.
• 18:07
  You can certainly get a uh an indication of is this girl a jerk?
• 18:11
  Is this girl stupid?
• 18:12
  Is this girl mean?
• 18:13
  Is this girl only out to get things?
• 18:15
  Is this guy a dope?
• 18:16
  Is this guy a creep?
• 18:17
  Is this guy somebody who's just trying to take advantage of me?
• 18:20
  When you're in person and you're sitting there with the person, you feel that chemistry.
• 18:25
  You can feel each other out.
• 18:27
  And uh, you know, uh a couple of days later, I called her, we went to the movies, and uh, you know what they say, like old Jed's a millionaire.
• 18:34
  Uh, we were together for 44 years, 42 of which we were married, and uh created a beautiful family.
• 18:41
  And that was that put an end to my my uh player days because I really liked this girl.
• 18:49
  You know, we had a lot in common.
• 18:51
  We laughed together.
• 18:52
  We laughed at the same kind of things, and it was a real humor.
• 18:56
  It was it was fun, and we had a wonderful life together.
• 18:59
  It was absolutely a beautiful life.
• 19:02
  Were there difficulties?
• 19:04
  Yes, there were difficulties at time.
• 19:06
  You have a long-term relationship.
• 19:07
  People grow, they become different people than they are in their uh late teens, early 20s, which was kind of the norm back then.
• 19:14
  You become different people, and if you don't find a way to work it out, then you end up in my generation, divorce became 50% of all marriages within five years, they ended up divorced.
• 19:27
  I can't tell you the dozens and dozens and dozens of people I knew that were my age that got married within five years, they were divorced.
• 19:33
  They're on their second marriage, or they were now single, or by 10 years, it was 75% of marriages ended in divorce.
• 19:42
  75%, seven out of ten couples break up in in within ten years.
• 19:47
  And I look back at that and I remember saying, Wow, that's uh that's I feel bad for for Bob and Harriet and then Tina and John.
• 19:56
  They're they're getting divorced and how hard it was.
• 19:58
  They had kids.
• 19:59
  Uh now they're enemies, they they they're pulling at their kids.
• 20:03
  It was just absolutely terrible.
• 20:05
  So when I saw that, uh it we it was hard for me to comprehend that that would happen to us because Kathy and I made a commitment that we wanted our family to be a family unit, to be a great family, to be a loving family, and we worked on it.
• 20:23
  It was sacrifice, it was hard work.
• 20:26
  We made a decision that Kathy would stay home and raise the children in the house so that we didn't have daycare, which became hugely popular in the 90s and the 2000s when we had a differences in uh how men and women interacted with each other, right?
• 20:42
  Now we had a lot of girls going out and saying, Oh, I'm gonna be a CEO, I'm gonna be a person, I'm I want out of the house.
• 20:47
  I don't want to be strapped down by children and this and that.
• 20:50
  We saw the number of kids go from five in a family to four to three to two, now maybe one.
• 20:56
  Now we got people saying, I'm not getting married and I'm not ever having kids.
• 21:00
  This is a strange change in human relationships.
• 21:00
  This is a strange change in human relationships.
• 21:05
  So now I look at these young people and I tell them my story, and I say, Well, this is what we did back in the day.
• 21:05
  So now I look at these young people and I tell them my story, and I say, Well, this is what we did back in the day.
• 21:12
  We, you know, you know, well, what are you doing?
• 21:12
  You know, you know, what are you doing?
• 21:14
  And they're saying, Well, it is so hard because you can't trust these other people, and they're only out to get you.
• 21:14
  And they're saying, Well, it is so hard because you can't trust these other people, and they're only out to get you.
• 21:19
  And when I look at that combination of how we interacted, and this is what I'm saying, people are going to get mad at me for.
• 21:19
  And when I look at that combination of of how we interacted, and this is what I'm saying, people are gonna get mad at me for, is that.
• 21:27
  Is that was it a better way?
• 21:32
  Was it a better way the way it was in the past?
• 21:34
  And what always gets brought up, what always gets brought up, especially when you talk to younger people in their 20s and their 30s.
• 21:41
  When you talk to them and they go, Oh, yeah, well, what about the abusive marriages?
• 21:45
  What about the husbands that beat their wives?
• 21:47
  What about the husbands that were alcoholics?
• 21:48
  Or in this day.
• 21:49
  Yes, all that stuff was bad.
• 21:51
  And did people stay through all of that?
• 21:54
  For the most part, lots of them did.
• 21:57
  And was it suffering?
• 21:59
  It was.
• 21:59
  It was terrible if you had an alcoholic in the family, or if you had someone who abused you physically or verbally.
• 22:05
  It was horrible.
• 22:06
  And so, but that does that mean that we can't see that here in the future and go, okay, we can do a lot of the traditional things and change our thinking to the more traditional parts of relationships that were good.
• 22:18
  And if somebody's violent, then you leave.
• 22:21
  If somebody is uh an alcoholic and they can't get help, then maybe you leave, right?
• 22:26
  But the whole idea is that it was it was different.
• 22:29
  It was, it was you were connected.
• 22:31
  You were willing to play your role.
• 22:34
  Oh boy, here we go.
• 22:36
  Here's the people now.
• 22:36
  Here's where the smoke starts coming out of their ears.
• 22:40
  Play your role.
• 22:41
  What?
• 22:41
  I should be, I should be your slave and living in the house and just and clean your clothes and make your food.
• 22:46
  Well, I gotta tell you.
• 22:50
  Back in my day, in Kathy's day, the role of wife and mother was not considered a role of oppression.
• 22:59
  Now, take away the people who were who were bad husbands and beat their wives and who alcoholics and cheated and that's bad.
• 23:06
  I I get all that.
• 23:08
  But the traditional home, where the husband is the provider, goes to work, provides protection, provides a home, worries about things, and the mother takes care of the children, takes care of the home, make sure that it there is a home life for everybody for the husband, the wife, and the children was not an oppressive thing.
• 23:27
  That wasn't seen as demeaning that, oh, Kathy's less than Joe because she stays home and takes care of the kids.
• 23:34
  No, matter of fact, it was the opposite.
• 23:37
  In our lives, in our family, we regarded the mother figure as a unbelievably valuable uh person, and her position was powerful.
• 23:49
  She was taking care of the children to make sure that the children were good, decent people, that they were healthy physically and mentally, that they were engaged, that they had friends.
• 24:01
  She made sure that the home was a beautiful place that everybody wanted to come back to.
• 24:06
  That when I came home from work, there was dinner on the table because I just worked all day at sometimes very, very difficult, painful jobs, uh physically painful.
• 24:17
  In the hot sun in the freezing weather, I went out and did those things.
• 24:21
  I sacrificed and did that so that I could bring in the money so that we could have a nice family.
• 24:27
  My kids could have what they wanted.
• 24:28
  We had good food.
• 24:29
  We had a roof over our heads, we had a car that worked.
• 24:33
  I played my role, right?
• 24:36
  She played her role, and we did it willingly.
• 24:39
  And there was no thought in my head or in Kathy's head that she was oppressed or that she was less valuable than me.
• 24:47
  It was we were a team, and each player on the team has a different job.
• 24:52
  Think about a football team.
• 24:54
  All right, it's great, you know.
• 24:55
  Oh, the quarterback, the quarterback.
• 24:56
  Well, take the quarterback out.
• 24:57
  How does the team function?
• 24:59
  They don't.
• 24:59
  But you also don't function without a left guard, right?
• 25:02
  You have to have those people that block so that the team can move forward.
• 25:07
  Is one play position more important than the other?
• 25:09
  No, it's not.
• 25:10
  You can't do it without every player, without every person on the team doing their job.
• 25:17
  And back in the day, I think there was an understanding that that normal, traditional relationship was the best way to have a good and decent family that stuck together, uh, succeeded, and had a had a great life together.
• 25:34
  You know, uh, I treasured my wife.
• 25:37
  Um she treasured me.
• 25:40
  Uh I loved being a husband and father.
• 25:42
  She loved being a wife and mother.
• 25:45
  And today, young people, they just do not see the roles the same way.
• 25:51
  And because they do not see the roles the same way, we see the result.
• 25:56
  We see the result in modern relationships that are a battleground, that are filled with with people who are unhappy, people who are divorcing, people who are uh feeling demeaned, that they have to go be something else.
• 26:12
  We have this this whole culture that that says the traditional roles were bad.
• 26:19
  Uh one person was in charge, the other person had to do what they said.
• 26:23
  Ridiculous.
• 26:25
  And you can't explain that to modern young people because they have been told their whole lives that that traditional lifestyle is bad.
• 26:35
  It's not good for either either partner, right?
• 26:37
  You should be on your own and free to do what you want and you know, control everything, right?
• 26:41
  Well, we see the result in that, and I just wanted to bring that out when we talk about that as part of the human condition.
• 26:49
  Okay, how about your relationship?
• 26:51
  Where are you in that timeline from your 20s to your 60s?
• 26:54
  We'll be back.
• 26:55
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• 29:48
  America turns the big two five zero.
• 29:52
  250 years on July 4th, 2026.
• 29:56
  Tell us your uniquely American story by emailing us at Liberty at America Outloud.
• 30:05
  We'll publish the results on a special webpage celebrating the best of America.
• 30:14
  Now is our time, my fellow Americans.
• 30:18
  America Outloud.news.
• 30:20
  Liberty and Justice for all.
• 30:26
  All right, welcome back, everybody.
• 30:28
  Now I hope you didn't mind me running through that and using my experience.
• 30:34
  Now I know like I said, so many of my friends, contemporaries were divorced and had terrible marriages and bad expectations.
• 30:44
  And I know Kathy and I, you know, 42 years of marriage before she passed away was was the um was the exception to the rule, maybe.
• 30:55
  But I think the reason it was the exception to the rule was not just because we were lucky, or not just because uh any other nebulous factor.
• 31:05
  It was because we had a plan.
• 31:07
  We stuck to the plan, we had a commitment to each other and a commitment to our family, and therefore, when it we did have hard times, we worked them out.
• 31:17
  We made a choice.
• 31:19
  Do we want to give up this family?
• 31:21
  Do we want to give up this relationship because of this problem?
• 31:24
  So instead of looking at each other as the problem, no matter what it was, we looked at the problem from the same side as a team.
• 31:34
  And that's how we solved all the problems that we had uh throughout our entire marriage.
• 31:38
  That's how we had that's how you have a happy 42-year marriage.
• 31:42
  And I think that's missing today.
• 31:45
  Uh, because people don't really understand.
• 31:47
  So I don't want to go on and on about it, but I appreciate you listening, and I and I hope, you know, when I ask out there, hey, uh, is everybody uh, you know, what's your relationship like?
• 31:58
  I hope that you're not stuck, right?
• 32:01
  Hope you're not stuck.
• 32:02
  I hope you can get unstuck and have a good and a wonderful relationship.
• 32:06
  I so since we're this is Friday, and I I don't I don't try not to lock myself down to a particular you know topic, uh, political or uh emotional or whatever.
• 32:17
  It's it's my preparation throughout the week is that you know, hey, Friday, I want to talk about uh specific things on Thursday, and then Friday night is more free-flowing, right?
• 32:28
  So I will often talk about uh current events and and this and that and the other thing.
• 32:33
  So I'm gonna do that in a minute.
• 32:35
  I'm gonna I'm gonna turn my focus a little bit to sacrifice um of a specific group of people in all of our lives, uh, and that being our law enforcement community.
• 32:47
  Now, all first responders and military all fit into this category, but we've lost we've lost more officers to violence this week.
• 32:57
  And I wanted to talk about it, and I've written an article about it, and I wanted to uh I want to discuss that a little bit.
• 33:04
  But first, I want to tell you about something that's really cool and fun.
• 33:07
  Now I've mentioned this before, and the clock is ticking.
• 33:10
  The days are moving fast.
• 33:12
  Uh, we are celebrating America's 250th year this year in July on July 4th.
• 33:19
  And we are also celebrating 10 years here at the America Out Loud uh network.
• 33:26
  So it's it's a dual celebration, and to to really uh enjoy that, both aspects, uh the network's uh celebration and the country celebration, we are doing an event in Nashville, Tennessee, July 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in the beautiful city of Nashville, where America Out Loud will have a uh a get together, a convention of sorts, a coming together of minds of of uh talkers and listeners and friends and people of different opinions and and having a good time together, celebrating uh the glory of free speech and the glory of America.
• 34:07
  So, how can you join us on this awesome adventure and time?
• 34:13
  Well, you go to the network uh webpage, www.america outloud.news.
• 34:22
  N E W S.
• 34:23
  America Outloud.news.
• 34:26
  Go there and look for 250 Nashville or Nashville 250.
• 34:29
  You'll find it on the webpage.
• 34:30
  Click on it, and it tells you the dates.
• 34:33
  Uh there's a place there to buy uh event tickets.
• 34:36
  So we're gonna have get togethers, cocktail parties, rooftop fireworks, uh amazing information sessions with some of the most uh powerful speakers that we have on the network and and really big national players.
• 34:49
  And you can come to one of those things, you can come to all of them.
• 34:52
  You can hang around in Nashville and have fun and then come to events, and we can all get to meet each other, right?
• 34:58
  I'm going, I already have my tickets purchased, I am ready, I am excited to get down there.
• 35:00
  I am ready.
• 35:00
  I am excited to get down there.
• 35:02
  I'm gonna hang with the great Malcolm Out Loud and uh have a couple of adult beverages and probably some uh uh fine tobacco products.
• 35:02
  I'm gonna hang with the great Malcolm out loud and uh have a couple of adult beverages and probably some uh uh fine tobacco products.
• 35:11
  Um, so you can certainly join us for any of all of that.
• 35:11
  Um so you can certainly join us for any of all of that.
• 35:14
  Go to the website, America Out Loud.news and look for the celebration uh in July.
• 35:14
  Go to the website, America Outloud.news and look for the celebration uh in July.
• 35:20
  Click on it, get your tickets, get yourself ready, come down, enjoy yourself.
• 35:20
  Click on it, get your tickets, get yourself ready, come down, enjoy yourself.
• 35:24
  You know, this is like-minded people, right?
• 35:24
  You know, this is like-minded people, right?
• 35:26
  We're gonna be down there and we're gonna be talking about God and country and our rights and America and the the gifts of America and all that kind of thing.
• 35:27
  We're gonna be down there and we're gonna be talking about God and country.
• 35:34
  So join us, right?
• 35:36
  I'll hope to see you down there.
• 35:38
  All right.
• 35:40
  Now, I I said I was gonna talk about uh some sacrifice and commitment, right?
• 35:47
  And that's kind of I guess the first part of our get together here marriage commitment, relationship commitment.
• 35:54
  Um is commitment on the part of human beings.
• 36:00
  When we think about the human condition and commitment, we have to ask ourselves, you know, why would you commit to anything other than self-interest?
• 36:09
  Right?
• 36:10
  Self-interest is is not a bad thing.
• 36:11
  People talk about it.
• 36:12
  Self-interest is is what makes uh what makes all of us go out and and be our best, right?
• 36:19
  We go out and we get education or we get training, or we open a business, or we we do something uh to put ourselves in a better position so that we can take care of ourselves, take care of our families, live the lifestyle that we want to live, enjoy the things that the world has to offer.
• 36:35
  Uh that's our self-interest.
• 36:38
  But if all we do is our self-interest, I think, my personal opinion, is that you miss out on some of the amazing connections and things you can do with people in the world, you know, to be committed to something besides just your own achievement, you know.
• 36:59
  Uh I I think doing things for other people is fulfilling in ways that unless you've done it, you don't know.
• 37:05
  And I know many of you do, right?
• 37:07
  And and really, when I look at it, um, you know, a couple years ago, we were getting ready for Thanksgiving, right?
• 37:14
  And I take Thanksgiving very seriously.
• 37:16
  I I it's a moment, it's a moment to reflect and be thankful for all the things that we have in life, right?
• 37:25
  Uh our family, our friends, our jobs, our houses, uh, our vacations, anything.
• 37:30
  You know, we can be very thankful, the blessings for our children, for health, uh, for whatever.
• 37:35
  And I I I started thinking and going, you know, it's a great day for Turkey, and I love to be with the family, and I love to watch the parade in the morning.
• 37:43
  And all of that is is really nice and it's festive and it feels good.
• 37:48
  And then there is that thankful part.
• 37:50
  You do reflect on you know how thankful you are uh for the things that you have.
• 37:55
  But I started to feel like okay, uh I'm having this get together.
• 38:01
  I, you know, I get up in the morning and we're gonna make a turkey today, and everybody's gonna come over and we're gonna enjoy our so that's all good.
• 38:08
  I said, but there's probably a lot of people out there in the world that don't have family with them, don't have a turkey dinner, that don't have uh children to gather around them.
• 38:21
  Um maybe they're missing somebody in their life, maybe they've had a breakup.
• 38:25
  So I started thinking about that and going, wow, okay, well, what can I do about that?
• 38:30
  I can't do anything about that.
• 38:31
  I can do about my own life.
• 38:33
  And then I saw that uh local church around here was doing a turkey dinner, Thanksgiving dinner giveaway.
• 38:43
  And what they did is they had all these turkeys donated, you know, hundreds of turkeys donated and gravy and all the fixins as they fixins.
• 38:51
  I was like, the frixins, man, where am I from, right?
• 38:54
  I'm give me them fixings.
• 38:56
  Uh all the fixes, all the side dishes and all that stuff.
• 38:59
  And then at the church, they have uh Knights of Columbus or or some other church group, cooks all the turkeys, puts it all together in a gigantic room, they carve up all these turkeys, then they uh I guess they they box them up and then they go and deliver them, right?
• 39:16
  To people that are shut-ins or elderly or lonely or have no dinner, whatever.
• 39:20
  And I thought about that, and I said, you know, how long does that take to do that?
• 39:26
  And they said, well, if you can get there about eight o'clock in the morning, we're pretty much done and out of there by 10:30.
• 39:31
  We have about 150 turkeys to carve and boxes to pack up.
• 39:35
  And I said, Wow, two and a half hours?
• 39:38
  That's it.
• 39:40
  Ah, you know, but I'm gonna miss the parade.
• 39:42
  I really like the parade.
• 39:43
  That's my thing.
• 39:44
  That's my self-interest.
• 39:45
  I enjoy watching that stupid parade.
• 39:48
  But I said, you know what?
• 39:49
  I had this feeling that I wanted to do something more.
• 39:53
  I wanted it, you know, it's okay that it's meaningful in my head, but how can I make it actually more meaningful in reality, in the bigger picture?
• 40:03
  And I reached out to this group and I said, Well, how do I volunteer?
• 40:06
  And they're like, well, just give us your name and show up at 8 o'clock in the morning and we will put you to work.
• 40:11
  So I I'm trying to remember my son, my son Jack at the time was uh freshman in high school, maybe.
• 40:18
  Or eighth grade, I'm not sure.
• 40:19
  But he had a very close group of friends, about seven or eight guys that were just really good friends.
• 40:24
  They did a lot of stuff together, they did scouts together, they did sports together, they took all their classes together.
• 40:30
  And I said to Jack, hey, uh, you think uh you and any of the guys wanna uh come down and do this with me, cut up turkeys and pack this stuff up.
• 40:39
  So he went and asked his friends, and they're like, Yeah, that would be great.
• 40:43
  I would love to do that.
• 40:45
  And I I was pleasantly surprised that these young guys uh would be like, yeah, let's go do that.
• 40:51
  That'll be a good thing to do.
• 40:53
  So, Thanksgiving morning, we uh we got up early, we had a little breakfast, we met all the guys, we went over to the church, and we cut up turkeys and we put them in bags, and we added the gibblet gravy, and we added the cranberry sauce, and we we put them in these individual meal things.
• 41:09
  There were hundreds of meals that were created uh in that couple of hours, and then they had another team of people that was gonna come in and deliver them.
• 41:19
  And we did it two and a half hours.
• 41:21
  It wasn't very long at all.
• 41:22
  It was fun, we were laughing, we were joking while we were doing it, we were spending time together, and we got done at 10:30, went home.
• 41:32
  I saw the rest of the parade.
• 41:34
  We were only 10 minutes from home, I saw the rest of the parade.
• 41:37
  Uh then we had everybody over that day, and we had a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving.
• 41:43
  And I think part of it was I wanted to to be a visual example uh to my son and his friends of of what it means to do something to commit to something that is not just self-interest, right?
• 41:59
  That to do something for other people, uh, and that it would feel good.
• 42:00
  For other people, uh, and that it would feel good.
• 42:03
  Now, I wasn't sure.
• 42:03
  Now, I wasn't sure.
• 42:04
  I think these first of all, my son Jack and his friends are exceptional young men.
• 42:04
  I think these first of all, my son Jack and his friends are exceptional young men.
• 42:09
  They really are exceptional young men, scouts, eagle scouts, they go to church, they're good and decent people.
• 42:09
  They really are exceptional young men, scouts, Eagle Scouts, they go to church, they're good and decent people.
• 42:14
  They are really a group of amazing young men.
• 42:14
  They are really a group of amazing young men.
• 42:17
  All my kids are, but my son Jack and his friends were really particularly amazing.
• 42:17
  All my kids are, but my son Jack and his friends were really particularly amazing.
• 42:22
  And I said, Well, I enjoyed this.
• 42:22
  And I said, Well, I enjoyed this.
• 42:23
  I felt good about it.
• 42:23
  I felt good about it.
• 42:25
  I felt I did more than just my own self interest for you know, Thanksgiving.
• 42:25
  I felt I did more than just my own self-interest for you know Thanksgiving.
• 42:29
  I
• 42:30
  I was thankful that I had that opportunity to do something more.
• 42:35
  But I didn't know how Jack and his friends actually felt.
• 42:38
  And we were talking later in the day.
• 42:40
  And I said, So, Jack, what you know, what'd you think about that?
• 42:42
  Would you do it again?
• 42:43
  He goes, Yeah, absolutely.
• 42:44
  It was just a couple hours, it was great.
• 42:46
  It was really funny, and you know, packing the turkey and going doing this, and it turned into something we did for the next uh three, four, five years, right up until this day.
• 42:54
  You know, it's something that I do, and uh it felt good to be committed to something else.
• 43:00
  I think it was a good lesson in doing things for other people, and the boys enjoyed it.
• 43:05
  So I think they probably will carry it on.
• 43:08
  You know, they're all grown now and they all moved away and they're all got families and doing whatever.
• 43:13
  But the reality is um, you know, I I know Jack still does it.
• 43:18
  He he moved away, him and his he got married, got married young, and him and his wife uh they moved to another city.
• 43:23
  He's got an amazing job, and he still does volunteer stuff at the church for Christmas and for Thanksgiving and all these things, and he enjoys it because it's it's a bigger, it's a bigger picture of doing the right thing.
• 43:38
  He committed himself to it, and his other friends, he tells me they're doing it where they live.
• 43:42
  So I think it was good.
• 43:44
  When I think about you know, commitment to things bigger than yourself.
• 43:49
  This is part of the human equation, and what I said is it felt good to do that, right?
• 43:56
  And what I I've counseled other people.
• 43:58
  I have a very good friend of mine, and he he's not very religious.
• 44:03
  He's spiritual, but he can't bring himself to commit to going to church.
• 44:08
  He just, you know, he he has every excuse that everybody else has that doesn't go to church.
• 44:12
  And I'm not saying you go to Jordan, you do what you want to do.
• 44:15
  But the reality is, you know, if you're going to be faithful and have a faith, you need to you need to be committed to it.
• 44:21
  You know, it's it's it's what's required in most faiths.
• 44:24
  You have to be committed to it and do things, not just talk.
• 44:28
  And my friend is very spiritual, and he wants to do more.
• 44:32
  I know he does, but he's got a very chaotic life, and I know he says things like, uh, you know, uh, I just don't have time.
• 44:41
  It's my only day off.
• 44:42
  And it's true.
• 44:43
  I work six days a week, and Sundays he's off, and you know, the idea of getting going to church, taking a whole hour and a half out of his life is difficult, and I know it's difficult for a lot of people.
• 44:54
  When I was younger, it was for me, until I understood better.
• 44:58
  But I've counseled him, you know, he's his life feels meaningless.
• 45:01
  He he can't find anything of value, he doesn't see this, he doesn't see that.
• 45:05
  And I said, Listen, the best way to bring meaning to your life is not just through self-interest, but through helping others.
• 45:16
  I said, why don't you go volunteer at the church?
• 45:20
  Maybe find, you know, find an old person that needs to be driven to a doctor.
• 45:25
  Go there and hand out Thanksgiving meals, go to church and see what need there is in your community.
• 45:31
  It doesn't have to be a huge commitment of 40 hours a week.
• 45:34
  It could be one hour a week, two hours a week.
• 45:36
  Go there and find something, somebody who needs help and help them.
• 45:41
  You will feel so much better about yourself, in my opinion, uh, and you'll be doing good other than just self-interest.
• 45:50
  And I remember him saying, Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna do that.
• 45:53
  I'm gonna do that.
• 45:54
  Well, it's been many years since I counseled him on that, probably three or four times we had the conversation, and he never followed through with it.
• 46:02
  Yeah, for lots of reasons, whatever, it's own personal reason.
• 46:05
  He doesn't do it, doesn't have to do it because I say it's a good idea.
• 46:08
  He agrees it's a good idea, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, and I know that I stopped bringing it up, and the what's interesting is that his complaints when we talk, his complaints about his life, his lifestyle, the things that go on, the meaning that he doesn't have, has all remained exactly the same as it was five, six, seven years ago, because he has not done anything to get unstuck from that self-interest uh situation and go help other people, go get involved in other things that require a commitment and a sacrifice.
• 46:45
  So that's what got me thinking.
• 46:47
  Sacrifice and commitment, like in a relationship, and what's another relationship where there's a lot of sacrifice?
• 46:53
  Well, how about sacrifice and commitment to your community?
• 46:58
  I just talked about the church community, but what about other ways?
• 47:02
  Well, I spent a career in law enforcement.
• 47:06
  It is a service job.
• 47:08
  You are there to, what's the big saying?
• 47:10
  The motto for police almost every protect and serve, right?
• 47:14
  It's a it's a big thing, it's an important thing.
• 47:17
  Every community needs safety and security, and you need to have police officers to protect the innocent and all that kind of stuff.
• 47:25
  Firefighters, right?
• 47:26
  The the bravest, the firefighters, they go running into flames, and they die in the course of their job trying to protect people from fires, all right?
• 47:36
  Doctors, nurses, nurses are amazing, teachers, right?
• 47:40
  You talk to teachers, they they don't get paid a lot.
• 47:43
  They put up with a lot of nonsense, but they do it because there's a there's a calling, there's a sense of service to these young children to people.
• 47:51
  It's uh it's absolutely an amazing kind of a thing.
• 47:54
  So as I was thinking about that, and I was reflecting on, you know, my career, and I do write a lot.
• 48:00
  I write for The Blue Magazine.
• 48:02
  You can go read them there as well as here on AmericaOutloud.news.
• 48:06
  Uh, my articles appear there.
• 48:08
  Um I was thinking about this, and it came, it came to light the commitment and and sacrifice made by many first responders, and especially our police officers, is that this week again we lost several officers in the line of duty.
• 48:26
  Men and women who were out serving their communities, and as a result of the type of work that's involved in law enforcement, they lost their lives in the line of duty, serving others, serving something bigger than themselves, sacrificing, committing to the job.
• 48:46
  And the more I thought about it, the more I said, you know, I have something I want to say.
• 48:52
  I I there's something I want to say about it, and how am I gonna say it?
• 48:55
  So I sat down and I started making notes, and I wanted to turn it into just a little blurb, you know, like a social media blurb.
• 49:00
  Just a little blurb, you know, like a social media blurb.
• 49:03
  I could post some, oh, you know, uh sacrifice and thank you, brothers and sisters.
• 49:03
  I could post some, oh, you know, uh sacrifice and thank you, brothers and sisters.
• 49:07
  And I said, I don't think that's enough.
• 49:07
  And I said, I don't think that's enough.
• 49:09
  I don't think I don't think that's enough.
• 49:09
  I don't think I don't think that's enough.
• 49:12
  I think I need to say more than that.
• 49:12
  I think I need to say more than that.
• 49:13
  So I'm gonna ask you to indulge me.
• 49:13
  So I'm going to ask you to indulge me.
• 49:16
  I hate reading.
• 49:16
  I hate reading.
• 49:17
  I don't like reading things here on the program.
• 49:17
  I don't like reading things here on the program.
• 49:20
  But I think I'm gonna read some of this article that I wrote, because I think it's it's something that when people hear
• 49:20
  But I think I'm going to read some of this article that I wrote, because I think it's it's something that when people hear it, they're they're going to appreciate it, especially if you know someone in law enforcement or military or fire first, anybody who's in the first responder world.
• 49:41
  Uh this is about law enforcement, but it could be anything, right?
• 49:45
  And I think it's I don't want to say important.
• 49:48
  You know, oh yeah, I wrote something important.
• 49:50
  That's that's not what I'm saying.
• 49:51
  It's it's the sentiment that I think is important.
• 49:55
  Now, for people who are writers, you know, well, many of us, uh, the majority of us out here have great thoughts, great ideas.
• 50:03
  We just never write them down.
• 50:04
  When you become a writer, it becomes second nature that you have an idea, a good thought, something you think is cool, funny, uh meaningful, um, whatever.
• 50:14
  You write it down, right?
• 50:16
  And I've become a writer over the last 15 years of my life.
• 50:19
  I've written books, I've written articles, and uh, I've delved into it, and I love writing.
• 50:23
  I love expressing that.
• 50:24
  So I said, let me let me give this to you.
• 50:28
  I'm gonna ask the great Malcolm out loud to publish it.
• 50:30
  I don't know if he will or not, but um, I'm gonna read this to you, and I think it goes to all of our law enforcement out there.
• 50:38
  All right, a career in law enforcement is not simply a job, it is not a role you clock into and out of, nor is it a profession you can fully set aside when the shift ends.
• 50:49
  It is a life commitment, one that shapes how you see the world, how you move through it, and how your family lives alongside you.
• 50:58
  For those who have worn the badge long enough, this truth becomes part of your identity.
• 51:02
  Serving your community means accepting risks that most people never have to consider, and doing so with integrity, purpose, and a willingness to sacrifice for something larger than yourself.
• 51:16
  Every officer remembers the early days, the academy, the first patrol shifts, the first hot call, the first time the radio tone changed, and your heart rate jumped.
• 51:25
  In those early years, the reality that you might not come home is very sharp and unmistakable in your life and the life of your family.
• 51:33
  They understand you could get killed while you're at work from very a lot of different things.
• 51:39
  You feel it in your chest when you kiss your family goodbye.
• 51:42
  You feel it when you strap on your vest and your gun.
• 51:45
  You feel it when you roll up on a scene that could go sideways in a heartbeat, and believe me, lots of them do.
• 51:51
  That awareness is part of what shapes you into a professional.
• 51:54
  It sharpens your senses, focuses your training, and reminds you why this work matters.
• 52:00
  But as years pass, something else happens.
• 52:02
  The danger doesn't go away.
• 52:04
  It's still just as dangerous as day one.
• 52:07
  You simply learn to live with it.
• 52:09
  The possibility of not coming home becomes a quiet companion in the back of your mind.
• 52:14
  You know it.
• 52:14
  It blends in to the background of your daily routine.
• 52:17
  You don't think about it every moment anymore, because if you did, you probably couldn't function, thinking, hey, I'm going to go to work.
• 52:23
  I might die today and not come home to my family, right?
• 52:26
  Uh you learn to compartmentalize, to carry that weight without letting it crush you.
• 52:31
  Your family learns to do the same thing.
• 52:33
  They adjust to the late nights, the missed holidays, the sudden changes in plans, the phone calls that come at odd hours.
• 52:39
  They learn to read your face when you walk through the door to sense that something happened on your shift that you're not ready to talk about.
• 52:46
  This is the unspoken reality of the profession.
• 52:49
  The commitment is not yours alone.
• 52:51
  Your family serves with you.
• 52:52
  They carry the same uncertainty, the same fear, the same hope that you will walk back through that door at the end of the tour.
• 52:58
  They live with the knowledge that your oath to protect and serve comes with risks that most families never have to face.
• 53:05
  And then there are moments that bring the reality back into sharp focus.
• 53:08
  The radio call announcing an officer down, the procession of patrol cars, the lights on the sirens, lights but no sirens, they're silent, the folded flag, the bagpipes, the tears, the families in his very upset, the brothers and sisters, the final radio call that echoes through every officer's heart.
• 53:27
  When we lose one of our own, it shakes us in way words rarely capture.
• 53:33
  It reminds us that the danger we carry quietly is not theoretical.
• 53:37
  It is real.
• 53:37
  It is permanent, and it is part of the price of service.
• 53:41
  Yet even in those moments of grief, everything else rises to the surface.
• 53:44
  Something that defines the profession more than anything else.
• 53:47
  Solidarity, brotherhood, sisterhood, the unbreakable bond between people who understand what it means to run towards danger when others run away.
• 53:56
  When an officer falls, the entire profession feels it.
• 53:59
  We stand together not out of obligation, but out of a shared experience and shared commitment.
• 54:05
  We honor the fallen not because they died, but because of how they lived, serving their communities with courage, integrity, and a willingness to put others before themselves.
• 54:15
  This is what separates law enforcement from most other careers.
• 54:19
  The commitment is not just to a department or a municipality.
• 54:22
  It's to the very idea of public safety.
• 54:24
  It is to the belief that communities deserve to live without fear and victims deserve justice and that the vulnerable should be protected.
• 54:32
  It is a commitment rooted in service, not self-interest.
• 54:35
  And it is a commitment that demands something profound, the willingness to risk everything for people you may never meet, you may never know, and you may never receive thanks from.
• 54:48
  But this article and this connection here is not about dwelling on danger.
• 54:52
  It's about acknowledging the strength it takes to live with that reality and still show up every day.
• 54:57
  It's about recognizing the integrity required to do the job the right way, shift after shift, year after year.
• 55:03
  It's about honoring the officers who continue to serve despite the scrutiny, criticism, and political noise, and the constant pressure that comes with wearing a badge in today's world.
• 55:12
  Completing a career in law enforcement is an achievement that few outside the profession truly understand.
• 55:18
  It means you face the worst moments of people's lives and you helped them through it.
• 55:21
  It means you stood between good people and those who would do them harm.
• 55:25
  It means you made decisions in seconds that other will analyze for years.
• 55:29
  It means you carried the weight of responsibility that comes with authority, and you did so with honor.
• 55:34
  To every officer still serving, your commitment matters.
• 55:37
  Your sacrifice, seen and unseen matters.
• 55:40
  The long nights, the missed family moments, the emotional toll, the physical wear, and the constant vigilance, the quiet courage to carry into every shift.
• 55:49
  It all matters.
• 55:50
  You are part of a tradition of service that stretches back generations.
• 55:54
  And protecting others is the call.
• 56:00
  So this is what it is.
• 56:00
  So this is what it is.
• 56:03
  You know, the article pretty much covers this commitment, and it covers a thank you to the people who have fallen.
• 56:03
  You know, the article pretty much covers this commitment and it covers a thank you to the people who have fallen.
• 56:10
  The men and women have fallen.
• 56:10
  The men and women have fallen.
• 56:12
  And I dedicate it to the officers that serve now, served in the past and will serve in the future.
• 56:12
  And I dedicate it to the officers that serve now, served in the past, and will serve in the future.
• 56:18
  It is about commitment to community, something bigger than yourself, and not just your self-interest.
• 56:18
  It is about commitment to community, something bigger than yourself, and not just your self interest.
• 56:24
  And I want to thank my brothers and sisters out there and everyone who supports law enforcement.
• 56:24
  And I want to thank my brothers and sisters out there and everyone who supports law enforcement.
• 56:29
  They're trying to.
• 56:29
  They're trying to do the right thing.
• 56:30
  It is a great and powerful career.
• 56:34
  Alright, everybody, we've run out of time.
• 56:36
  You know, we run out of time here, and uh I'll be back with uh with more uh profound wisdom, hopefully in the future.
• 56:42
  And in the meantime, you know, if you see a cop, fireman, teacher, anybody that serves, thank them.
• 56:50
  Right?
• 56:51
  Uh together we're all in this.
• 56:53
  So I'll talk to you soon.
• 56:54
  Remember, be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
• 56:57
  We'll see you down the road.