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Is Your Schedule Killing Your Spirit? · The Worship and Leadership Podcast

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Hey, what's going on, everyone, and welcome to the Worship and Leadership Podcast.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: My name is Elmer Canas Jr and I'm excited about today's episode number one, because you guys are joining us.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Number two my boy Willie's, right here.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: What?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: is up.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Excited to be here with you all today.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, and it's going to be a good one.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, we say it all the time.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: We say it all the time, but, like today, for real, it's for real, going to be a good one, it's going to be good.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going to be a good one, and we have special guests, like always we do.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I'm excited we have one of our fan favorites returning.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, I call her Jesus' little sister, the one and only often imitated, never duplicated.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Miss Sonja Vick is in the house today.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: I am honored to be here with you today.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Miss Sonja.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: And we have a fresh face.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Yep first time.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: First time on the podcast and I'm a fresh face.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Yep, first time.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: First time on the podcast and I'm excited.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, listen, if anybody's been any time around this young lady, you'll know she is a joy fountain, she's creative, she is vivacious, she's awesome.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Y'all give it up for Miss Rachel.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Jensen Hello hello, people are lined up outside.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: They're lined up, they're lined up, they're lined up.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: It was like Rachel's on the podcast man.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: That might be Bo.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was Bo screaming, oh man.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: But thank you guys for being on the podcast today and those of you listening.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about something that is really important because, as leaders, we make a lot of decisions.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: We are part of a lot of different depending on your career and what you're focused on.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of meetings.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Leadership involves people influence, but it also involves how you maintain your own life and rhythm right, and so there's a saying that you know the leader is the lid.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: That's right, and so, as leaders in our home, as leaders in our workplace, at church and ministries, you know a lot of the things, kind of work we become the lid and it's easy for us to stifle things and keep things from growing when we're not paying attention to our own personal lives.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know that kind of piggyback on that.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: There's another famous saying that goes you know you can't pour from an empty cup, absolutely.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: And in ministry, anybody that's listening and watching and tuning in that has ever done ministry for anyone.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: You know it is an outpour you give of yourself and it is so important to have a rhythm of pouring out and being poured back into.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: So yeah, of pouring out and being poured back into, so yeah.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I just want to just toss this out to both of you ladies, starting with you, ms Sonia.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: And when we talk about rhythms for us as leaders, I want to read the passage here, mark 6, verse 31, to the ultimate leader, jesus Christ, and I just love what he's doing here.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: This is a passage very famous.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Jesus is about to feed the 5,000 here, and it's starting at verse 30, mark 6, verse 30.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It says the apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: So Jesus sent them out.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Hey, go into ministry.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: They come back and say this is what we've done.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: And Jesus' response in verse 31 is so beautiful.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: He's in.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: It says and he said to them come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while and rest a while, for many were coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: So, jesus, his response to their work and their ministry is to direct them to rest.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: So, ms Sonja, what does this passage teach us about?
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: the importance of resting in leadership as we're leading others, I believe, first, and that it really mirrors creation.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: You know, god worked for six days and on that seventh day he rested.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: And the rest really is for us.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: You know, and I read that verse in the Passion Translation, if I may.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: It says there was such a swirl of activity around Jesus, with so many people coming and going, that they were unable to even eat a meal.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: So very busy.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: So Jesus said to his disciples come, let's take a break and find a secluded place where you can rest a while, because we can never lose sight of Jesus being fully God and fully man.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: And so, yes, the human side of him needed to rest.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: But his focus really was upon the disciples, because they had been out ministering, they had been on this tour, and he wanted them to rest, to have this time of refreshment.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: And I believe that we need to see the value in that, because this is red letter.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Right, that's good.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Come on, rachel, for you in your role here on the team.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: For those of you who don't know Rachel Jensen, she is Bo Jensen's wife and they're overseeing our Tiny Town campus, but you're also our events director as well, so we know that that is also very a busy role for you.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: So how do you feel like this passage here speaks to you in regards to the rhythms of rest and leadership?
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: So for me, it reminds me that I need to take time, because I spend so much time planning, preparing for things in our home and things here for events, and thinking intentionally of how maybe this decoration or this thing that we're planning could speak to someone else that I forget to take that time of God thing that we're planning could speak to someone else that I forget to take that time of God.
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: What do you want to speak to me and how can you refresh me?
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: And so, as I am reminded that, as intentional as I am and all the things that I'm planning and creating, that I need to create that margin in my own life to be intentional for myself, for God to to refresh me and to remind me that you know the gifts that he's given me.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: And just to remind me of you know, cause there's some times that we just go, go, go, that we need to remind ourselves like, okay, god, this is about me and you first.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: I can't do the other things I'm doing apart from you, and I can't do the other things I'm doing apart from you and I can't do it in my own strength, so I just need to take that time to just sit and be, still, come on, I love it so good.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So, when we think through again, modeling healthy rhythms, there's no one size fits all sort of, you know, approach for this right, because you know we have different vocations, different seasons in life.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: You know, grown kids, little kids, are you.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: You know you separated because of distance and work and all those sorts of things.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: So what are some markers that let us know?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's time for me to rest, ms Sonja, you know you and I had a great conversation earlier this morning andI just want to ask you what are some markers that can let us know?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Hey, you know what.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: I might need to take me a break, like you were saying, rachel.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: How do I know what's going to let me know and symbolize?
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I need to take a break, signify it.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Well, sometimes when I start reacting like Peter before transformation.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait a minute.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: It's a good indicator.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: OK, you know, and I see her walking around with a knife Cutting off ears Everybody Walking around with a knife cutting people's ears off, Just cutting off ears Everybody walking around.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Miss Anya, you need to take the day off.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Miss Anya, I'll tell you what we don't give you the day.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Just take a day.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: But really, in saying that, I think we need to know when we become maybe short of patience and tolerance, that it's a great indicator.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: When we become inflexible, it's a great indicator.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: You know, when we are demanding and we want to control it, it's a great indicator.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: But I also liken it to being like the Energizer bunny when we're on the hamster wheel and we feel that we have to do it or this person won't be okay if I don't do it, we're in danger, and so we need to.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: I love what Rachel said it is margin that we have to have, and so we need to.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: I love what Rachel said.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: It is margin that we have to have.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: And when we get to that place because the truth of the matter is we will have those moments where maybe we've overstepped a boundary and we meant well, but it just back and really sit at the feet of Jesus to kind of maybe be recentered, if you will, and refocused so that we can get our directives from him.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: That's good, rachel, your thoughts.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: You know again, you're one who's very big.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I don't think people really understand how full your work week is.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: You know, for you it feels like sometimes it just never stops.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: So how do you, like Ms Sonja said, how do you create that margin, like, how do you recognize?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know what I need to slow down and rest.
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: So I will say I haven't always got it right and I'm learning and being better.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: But what I've found is, when I'm in the hamster wheel of I've got to do all these things and I want to eat healthy and I want to work out and we have to meal plan and sports and all these things, that I can feel myself getting tense and, like Ms Sonia said, I am short with the people in our home that I care the most about, and so once I can feel myself doing that, it's a reminder to me that I need to realign, that something is out of order and I have to reorder myself.
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: And so getting up earlier, so I get up earlier and I'm like, okay, god, I want to get up early, I'm going to devote my first time to you and he gets my first morning.
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: So first thing in the morning I drink my coffee, I sit on my patio and I read and I pray, and then when I get finished with that, I look at the clock and I go, okay, I have 20 minutes.
• 9:25
  Speaker 6: Well, that's the time I get to work out.
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: So I take time for myself first and I get fueled in the word and from the Lord, and then I go and strengthen my body, which helps clear my mind, and then I'm ready to tackle on the day with whatever we have going on.
• 9:40
  Speaker 6: But if I don't take the time for myself first, then everything is chaos.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: One of the things that both of y'all said or attributed to was when things get urgent and the chaos, and I think I love that you said that, because a lot of us are always going to put our best foot forward in the workplace versus at home yeah and so things can be chaotic at work or feel urgent, but we don't show that, we show it at home and so, like our spouses tend to be good, you know, at least my wife is she'll ask me like, hey, what's going on?
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: because she, she could tell.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Or my kids and I mentioned it before, my kids are a big gauge for me when things are kind of not balanced the way they should be, or where I'm going too fast, and uh, yeah, like you said, they become an irritant and I'm like you know, I have to catch myself and I'm like why am I annoyed by my kids, you know, regardless of their age or what they say or do?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm their father and so it's easy to to allow home, because it feels safe to be the place, that we just kind of put our guard down and we stop bleeding in our home because we're so busy trying to impress people, so busy trying to make our bosses or, you know, people that we're serving, happy, especially in ministry, it's hard because you know we do it in the name of Jesus, in the name of love you know, to help people and so we could easily take people's burdens, take them home with us.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: And so you know and I'd like for us to talk about that too Like you know, in how, how do you not take not so much work or ministry because I think we're always on at some capacity but how do you avoid taking the burdens of either the events or the things that have to get done?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Or, in your case, miss Sonia, you actually sit with people and you hear a lot of heavy stuff, and how do you guys deal with that?
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: And we'll start with Rachel Like, how do you guys, yeah, and how do you guys deal with that and we'll start with Rachel Like, how do you guys?
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so one thing I heard this a long time ago that is there's not one perfect way or one perfect thing to kind of plan out your day, but that to look at it as balls, there's rubber balls and glass balls and so that kind of analogy, like if I was to drop a glass ball it would break, if I was to drop a rubber ball it would bounce.
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: So I kind of look at my days of like okay, what is this thing that if I don't do it's going to break.
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: So that's when I need to get done to that day.
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: And I have found that if I can balance out like what do I need to do, what do I have to do to get done, then I can let my mind kind of quiet, all the other things behind me, and I also take my ride home quiet.
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: I don't want to talk on the phone, I don't want to listen to the radio, I don't want to do any of those things, because I kind of get like decision fatigued a little bit and so my mom, or sometimes Bo, will want to call and sometimes I'm like trying to hurry up and get off the phone real quick.
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: I'm like I have 10 more minutes.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: I just want to sit in the quiet.
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: That way it refreshes me, that way I can be my best self when I get home.
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: So when I get home I can switch my gears to being mom mode and dinner and practices and all the things like that.
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: But I have to to not take it home.
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: I have to just have a quiet ride home and then.
• 13:00
  Speaker 6: But I wanted to.
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: You had said something earlier about your kids kind of being your gauge, and I wanted to say that our so we have four kids and our older two kind of help me out a lot when I ask so they're older now and I can have a conversation with them.
• 13:14
  Speaker 6: Hey, what is it like living with me around this event?
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: What is it like, how am I at home during this event?
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: And so, even so, we'll do like these checks and we used to kind of do them at our job, like what is it like to sit under me, like in our 15 fives that we do?
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: So I kind of took some of those questions home Like what is it like right now in our home and what's some things that you that when I say this it makes you feel.
• 13:38
  Speaker 6: And so I kind of just have a little check with our older ones, just because our younger ones don't understand yet.
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: But I'll ask them.
• 13:44
  Speaker 6: And so I recently just did a check with our older one and she was like Mom, you know, it's good Like at first it was rough when you would come home.
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: It was tense and we didn't know, you know, how you were going to be.
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: But we wanted everything to be just right.
• 14:00
  Speaker 6: And so from them expressing how I would make them feel with what I brought home, I was like that I don't want that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: I don't want them to get the worst part of me, I want them to get, you know, a good part of me.
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: So I've had to learn what I need to do to reset so that I can be good for them at home.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and because our families are first ministry.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and because our family is our first ministry you know, and so what good is it to do all this great work you know away from home and get home and not love our family?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Right, that's huge.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: How about you, miss Sonia?
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: So good, if I may, because Pastor Elmer, you use this word and then Rachel use this word balance.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: I think that's elusive, and please know that I'm not pointing fingers, but I think it's so important for us not to live for balance, but rhythms, yes, because those rhythms will ebb and flow, but balance makes us pursue the image of a scale.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's just going to balance.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's not life on any given day and we may get a few of those moments, but rhythms are what we need to be in pursuit of, really asking God to help us develop.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: But getting back to the question that you asked me, I think when it comes to care, no matter who it is that I have an opportunity to kind of sit with and hear them is, first of all, I believe wholeheartedly that it's been the Lord stirring their hearts, that the thoughts they're thinking.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: He has stirred them.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: So when they come in for an appointment, they're not coming in to see me, they may sit in a room with me, but we start with prayer.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: They may sit in a room with me, but we start with prayer.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: The Word of God is always a part, prayer is a part of that appointment.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: And so, yes, are there some things that sometimes are concerning, because I don't want my sisters or brothers in Christ to really be hurting Absolutely.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, I know it's not mine to bear and I get to trust the Lord and I'm going to use some keys to freedom, the key that is entitled Healing Life's Hurts.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: We don't have to look for that hurt.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: We get to trust the Holy Spirit's guidance, that he's going to meet us in whatever is stirring, and so I really believe that the Lord will do it.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: So, ultimately, it's not mine to carry and I know that Christ going to Matthew 11, verses 28 through 30, would never put anything heavy or ill-fitting on me.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: And so, 1 Peter 5, 7, I get to cast all my cares and worries to him, even when they're cares and worries of others.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: So he is the ultimate source, and so that is what keeps me grounded, that I get to do this with him.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: He trusts me enough because he knows that I rely upon him.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I am a branch that gets to abide in the vine, you know, in this particular part of our team, and I want to honor him well, humbly so.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: That's so good.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: A scripture that came to mind was Proverbs 4, 23.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Keep your heart with all diligence.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: From it flows the springs of life.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I think the New Living says to guard it.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: And so what I hear from the both of you ladies, it's like these are really heart issues.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Rachel, I love that illustration of the glass and the rubber balls.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: I'm going to plagiarize that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to let you know right now.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Next time I speak, I'm going to say hey.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: T-shirts for sale.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you $0.1499.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: All proceeds go to Forward.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So I love that because it's a hard issue, because ultimately it's hey, okay, what do I need to get done today?
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: And then you know what can hold off, you know until later.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: And then again for you, ms Sonja, thinking through, I get to take these cares.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: First of all, I love how I think that's just brilliant.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: They're not coming in to meet us.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: They see us, but they're not here to meet us.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: They're here to meet the Lord.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: They're here to have a meeting with the Lord.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Which is a great point for anyone in ministry.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know a lot of people that are pastors that just will carry the burdens and under the name of the shepherd, you know, you feel the responsibility to like.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I have to carry the weight of my flock, but it belongs to the Lord.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, but it belongs to the Lord and so a lot of these individuals that I'm aware that live with that lifestyle home tends to suffer because, like you said, kids have to flex and they're trying to make dad happy.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Spouses are trying to make them happy and at some point they're not, People are going to get over it and then ministry becomes a burden in the household and kids get offended.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: That you know, dad's never you know really here cause he's so focused about so-and-so you know, and so I think, I think that's foundational, knowing that, hey, we get to lead, we get to make certain decisions and help people, but ultimately it's it's God.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think a guarded heart, I mean there's just something when you guard and protect your heart against pride, against fear, you know, against this need to to to do more against legalism.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: You know, one translation said that it directs the course of your life, it determines the course of your life.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: And if I want to be effective in leading others, I have to stay tethered to Christ, I have to keep my hand in his hand.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And guarding my heart, I mean you think about that garrison, you know securing it against these things.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: You know one thing my wife she'll tell me whenever she sees and I'm like, frustrated, you know, when you're doing care for someone and you know that their actions, their mindset, that path like it, leads to destruction.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: You can see it, they don't, and it makes you frustrated.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: She would always say, babe, your feet are too small to fit in the Holy Spirit shoes.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: So good and I'm like okay all right, you know what, leave me alone, but it's it's so true though it's so true.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: It's like Willie, hey, at the end of the day, jesus does not have any want ads out for an assistant Messiah, he got this, and so I can guard my heart against this desire, need to fix and to do for others, and I can say you know what, lord, I'm going to pull back, I'm going to pray and I'm going to trust that you are already, like you said, stirring in the heart.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: You've already, like we don't inform God whenever people have these things going on, the Lord's like yeah, I know, that's why I sent them to you, so you can point them back to me.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: So you're saying some of us struggle from a savior's syndrome?
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Well, I didn't change.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, I mean maybe we're the ones thinking we're the ones that are going to fix it.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a Messiah complex is to think that we're going to step in and we're going to do what only the Lord can do, which is to set people free.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: And that's why I thank God for Ms Sonja, because whenever she and I, you know, meet with our weekly one-on-ones, we're talking through care or God in this.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: So I've just started plagiarizing that question.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Hey, where does the Lord have room to speak into this man that's so wise?
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, you know, it's from the Spirit.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I think we get it confused too, that God doesn't need us After all.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: He's God, a holy God who loves us deeply.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: He desires to do life with us.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: He allows us to be a reflection of himself to others, and that is wonderful when we give room for the Holy Spirit to do what he does best.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: And Mercy Multiplied Ministries and their Empower training.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: I love what Carolyn said to you, but I love too that they also said God hasn't asked any of us to be Holy Spirit Junior ever.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: And oftentimes we want to give people solutions to their problems, and the solutions we have in mind really may be good, but how will that really benefit them?
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: God desires that we mature, that we grow in endurance, that we become well-developed, not deficient in any area of life.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: When I think about James, chapter 1, verses 2 through 4.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: And so if we just offer solutions, how is that helping someone with life transformation, with the renewing of their mind?
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: It doesn't.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: And so we get to be gracious and allowing them to take the journey with Christ that they need to take at the pace that they need to take it, because after all, god has been that gracious to us.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: That's how we get to love well, amen.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Amen, amen.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: And then just going back to Rachel's comment on how you, you check in with your, your oldest girls, I think when we're trying, when we go into conversations or meetings or we're into a moment of leadership with the concept of I'm going to fix things or I can fix it, we don't listen.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And so the fact that you intentionally go into this conversation with your girls, it's like I'm here to listen because I want to grow from this.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think a lot of us listen.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: We don't listen to our spouses, to our children.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: We don't listen to our co-workers, to our leaders at times that are telling us, hey, slow down.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: You know Pastor Mike's always telling me, hey, when have you had off?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, that's great.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: And in my mind I'm just like, yeah, one day.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: But people are always telling us, hey, you need to slow down, you need to do this, but we don't hear that.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: We just hear like, oh, they're just, you know.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's cool and in various ways, but I think that point of when we're trying to fix things we don't listen.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And this is the point I'm trying to make.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: There's this thing called discernment, and discernment has less to do with us and has everything to do with the Holy Spirit, and He'll lead us in this gift of discernment.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: But when you go into a meeting and you've already said I'm going to fix something, I'm going to hear this person I know a little bit about the backstory so I have some advice for them based on my experience.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Your experience might not even help them, it might make it worse for them, but when you're, when you allow room to listen intentionally, like you model, it allows you to step into that gift and make room for the Holy Spirit to help you discern what needs to be said and and I know we're talking about rhythms help you discern what needs to be said.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And I know we're talking about rhythms, but I think back to rhythms and discernment.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: We overstep, we overwork, we overcommit because we're not willing to slow down and listen and just discern God.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: What would you want me to do?
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: So good, so good, and I want to celebrate you doing that because, when you shared that about.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: You know the rhythm that you've established with your older children.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I see that as a good boundary, a healthy boundary, or guardrail, and I believe that that's what we get to do when we consider Sabbath.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: You know it's not the old fashioned.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: You got to come to a complete stop, but we do.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: If nothing ever changes, if seven days a week are the exact same, how can life change?
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: How can transformation occur?
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: There needs to be a commitment to creating margin that you protect at all costs.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: I'm a morning person too, rachel.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I give God my first.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: I used to try the evenings.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: I did, and I'd be reading the same passages of scripture and then I'd find myself asleep, close the word of God and say, ok, I'll try it again tomorrow.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: And I realized that wasn't working for me.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: And so I do believe Pastor Willie said it too it's not one size fits all.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: We need to explore what it looks like for us in developing this rhythm, but not only developing it, protecting it, because, again, guarding our hearts, like when we pursue God above all else, oh my goodness, what a soul wealth we will receive it changes everything.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: You know, one of the three things that, well, one of the three things that Pastor Mike's really been emphasizing for us as a team, is that you know he wants us to.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: You know, win more people for Jesus, which I mean.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: That's why we exist to simplify processes and to create more margin.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: And that's that's kind of the word that I was hearing echoing in my heart was just margin, Like when we when you listen to those that you're leading, this margin, like when you listen to those that you're leading, that's creating margin.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: When you Sabbath, that is creating margins, creating space and room.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: We always say it and I believe it's true, that the Holy Spirit, he is a gentleman and he will not move where he's not welcomed.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: I mean Jesus, you know he's walking through the town and the Bible says he could do no mighty work there because the people didn't give margin in their heart, they didn't perceive him as the Messiah.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: So he says, okay, well, I'm going to go to Capernaum.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: So I want to speak to that, practically speaking.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: And Rachel, you really did a great job, I think, on touching on that, but I want you to lean onto that more.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: How can we, as leaders, create that margin that allows God to step in and fill our cup?
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Practically?
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: What does that look like?
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: Well, a, I'm a night owl, so I've had to learn to do things in the morning just to, to, to make time and and to give god my best.
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: So I'm a night owl by nature, but so growing up, my parents really modeled loyalty and faithfulness to the church, like if the church doors were open.
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: We were there.
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: So that's been ingrained in me since I was little is we're going to be a part of the church, we're going to serve the local church.
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: But the part that was missing for me was the relationship piece, and that's always been a struggle of learning, and then for the longest time, I use it as my excuse.
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: Well, I don't know what that looks like or that was never modeled for me, and I would have seasons of just being at home with kids being little.
• 27:40
  Speaker 6: It just looked different and just trying to figure it out.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: And so what's been freeing for me is knowing that I was reading at the end of Mark 2.
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: And I may have read it out of context, but it brought me some freedom, and it said that the Sabbath is for the person, the person's, not for the Sabbath.
• 28:00
  Speaker 6: Yes, that's exactly right and so that was freeing to me, knowing it kind of gave me some freedom to go.
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: You know like what.
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: It may look different every week depending on what we have going on or what events we may have coming up, and I try to talk to my family and prepare them ahead of time.
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: Hey, guys, I've been talking to them since may.
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: Hey, we're going to really enjoy the summer.
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: We're going to stay up late, we're going to say yes to the things that I have to say no to when school is in session.
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: You want a friend over?
• 28:27
  Speaker 6: Yes, we're going to.
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: You know all the things, because come August, guys, it's going to be a busy season for me and there's going to be a lot of things that I'm going to have to do.
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: And so we've had conversations and prepared for that and we've created the fun on the front end and had the time on the front end so that when it came time, it was like, okay, they understood, we've already talked about it, but creating the margin piece for me is just getting up.
• 28:58
  Speaker 6: So it was at first.
• 28:58
  Speaker 6: It was kind of like a duty and a discipline that I was trying to create within myself, like, no, I'm going to get up, I can get up to.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: You know, work out I can get.
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: I'm going to get up and I'm going to do this first, and I just had to practically do some things to make myself successful.
• 29:14
  Speaker 6: I'm going to set my coffee pot the night before so I can smell it.
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: Go, coffee's ready for me.
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: I'm going to change out of my PJs so I'm like, okay, I've changed, I'm ready.
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: And then I'm going to go sit outside, because if I'm inside I'm thinking, oh, I need to switch the laundry and did this happen?
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: And I start making my mental to-do list.
• 29:33
  Speaker 6: So I have to kind of remove myself from all my distractions.
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: So I have to kind of set myself up for a little bit of success on the front end.
• 29:41
  Speaker 6: The discipline of that, that now it's my favorite time of the day that I can tell if I, if, if for some reason appointment was earlier or something and I didn't get this time for myself in the morning, then it's like I'm craving that, like, okay, I missed it this morning.
• 29:57
  Speaker 6: But I've also given myself the freedom of like, letting it be flexible, letting it look different Depending on the season and not having to look the exact same every day.
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: So that has been very Freeing for me.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Come on, I love that, you know.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: She said she gets distracted by laundry.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I don't get distracted by laundry, you know, that's because you don't do your laundry I you know I help.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: I put it in the basket Come on somebody, that's a win.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: But I do want to distinguish guys and girls.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know we will.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: This is different.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, it's different for both of us?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: To your point.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: I have never been in my house and had to stop.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Man, I gotta get this laundry done if anything.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like man.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I hope the laundry gets done.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I was playing what a blessing.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: It's just funny, it's just funny that she said laundry is what distracts her like that.
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: just don't distract me.
• 30:57
  Speaker 6: It is because the baseball uniform has to get washed, the you know whatever, like it's in the mom's mind of what happens.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: My wife says oh, the laundry fairy shows up.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, Just does all the laundry folds it in no but just let me ask you, pastor Willie, okay, how do you create margin as a guy?
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Mm as a guy.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, it is for me.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: I'm an early riser.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: So like it's funny, because I'm a hybrid, like I go to bed really late but and I just naturally wake up early in the morning because prior to this, you know, I was in construction for 20 years, so I mean, you know, start time was always like 6 am, so getting up early was always just naturally it natural.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: So practically for me it is, it is rising early.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: That that's number one.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Number two is when I am off work.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I am off work.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Some somebody in this room regularly asked me their name rhymes with Banya slick and would regularly ask me Pastor Willie, are you leaving your laptop at the office?
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am, but I have my iPad.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: No, but so it's literally like for me it is disconnecting from the technology and putting my phone down, that that instantly creates margin for me, because you know if this thing buzzes or rings, I'm going to look at it and all the OK.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I got a question about, really about this.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: It's like it's not even work related on the answer.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: So for me it is truly like disconnecting from the technology.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: It's just like I'm just unplugging, like when I'm and listen, I mean, as a pastor, you're never truly off in in a sense.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: But even then, I've just learned I have to triage.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: That's why I love, love that, the glass balls and bouncing balls.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, this is a question somebody's asking, but do I have to respond to this right now?
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: No, I don't, I need to attend to it, but I don't need to respond to it, and that's where, for me, it's just learning.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: So when the technology is out of my hand and out of my face, I have the space for Carolyn, I have this space for Destiny, I have this space for Trey, whatever that is Trey's like hey, dad, can we get on the gang?
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go, come on.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, destiny and I were on a daddy-daughter date and we went to Golly G's.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: The Lord had blessed us.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: We each had some unused gift cards.
• 33:12
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: And we didn't pay Because Jesus paid it all.
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: Let me just tell you right now See, when you are connected to the vine, you are walking in favor.
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: He pays it all.
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: And then you can say.
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: You can just say, oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: That's why we beseech you to come to Jesus Christ.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: He paid the cost and when you taste, you shall be filled.
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: Say that hunger and thirst for dairy, for sweet, for crunchy and for salty shall be filled what he really saying is he did laundry that day and he found gift cards.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: They were in another pair of pants.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: That's where I found them.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Like this, we going on a date.
• 34:04
  Speaker 6: You said disconnect from technology.
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: One thing that miss sonja told me one time that was super helpful was because if I open it, I want to respond to it, but if I don't need to respond to it or it's gonna like take time away from family, right, I mark it as unread and then I'm like, I'm not gonna open that back up I want to open it when it's time, because if it's already opened.
• 34:23
  Speaker 6: I forget I have to respond, I have to answer and so one time miss sonja had to mark it as unread.
• 34:27
  Speaker 6: I'm like I'm gonna mark that even slack notifications mark is unread hell somebody asked me this morning how do I?
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: how do I because I think I told them that I still work every day, even on my day off how do I manage that?
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: And for me it's.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I wake up early.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I wake up at five every day and I have my devotional time.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I have a prayer call that I do with the guys in my small group early in the morning and then I devote 15 to 20 minutes where I go through my calendar, and so even on Fridays I'll go through Saturday, Sunday, just to make sure I don't have a small group, or, if I have a small group, that I have the material that I need, that I'm studied up, ready for any questions, and so I try to get ahead.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: At least I used to try to get a week ahead, but then the week changes so much on you, and so I'm at least a day or two ready.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: And going back to the comment earlier of urgency, I'm able to gauge at that moment in the morning what is urgent, what is not, and if it's urgent I give it attention first thing in the morning.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I think it's a gift that I'm still able to to lead and not take things away from my family time.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: So being up earlier than your family does allow you to really and focus on the things that you need to right, and so for me, even though there is some work attributed to it, I'm committing just a small amount of time to it and then, on my day off, like I leave my backpack wherever it needs to be at home.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: And so I told one of our coworkers earlier.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: I said wherever that backpack's at, that's usually where work follows, like I carry everything's in there, my in-ears music stuff videos.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Yana follows like I carry everything's in there, my in-ears music stuff videos.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: So, yana, you've seen my backpack and, and so I just intentionally leave it at home in the room where I'm not going to go into it, you know.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: And so you do have to get into rhythms like what are the devices that are going to pull you away from family?
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: What are the, the concerns that you have when you're not at work and what does that look like?
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: There's also the the fact of trust, when, when you feel it, when you feel trusted by leadership, people that you work with, like you, you don't feel the need of having to reply or having to have things figured out.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: And so I would.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I would say you know, for, for those of you listening or watching, and you feel like everything is urgent, like have a conversation with your leaders, with your direct reports, with your supervisors, like hey, what is urgent?
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: You know, once I'm out of the office, it's done and you know, and or you actually need to reply.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: For me, if Pastor Mike ever needs something, there'll be times he's texting me on a day off and I used to feel like I had to open everything and he's just sending me a song or he's just sending me like something funny and I, I.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: But once you open it now you're kind of caught and you you go down that rabbit trail and so I just know if it's urgent he's going to call me, and so I know that's our rhythm and so same thing, like when I'm working with rachel, like if it's really urgent I'll call her.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: Here at work we have slack, you know, and so a lot of our team will communicate through Slack if it's just work related.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: And so most of us don't check it on a daily basis, and I mean on our day off, and so there's just rhythms that we have to implement, you know, with the people that we get to work with, and so establishing those rhythms, those lanes of communication, establishing trust, really helps to be able to go home and be present.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: I do want to piggyback on that, because you reminded me of a conversation I had earlier with a coworker and they asked hey, how do you?
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: You know, how do you do this?
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: You know, you see, obviously there's this and that, and my response was build a great team.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: That's another way to build margin is to have an awesome team around you, people who are high level.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, they're quicker paced, they are self-starters, they're initiators.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: That gives me margin as well, because I'm not doing this thing, my hand isn't on the lever for this particular aspect of ministry, and so I am.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I do have margin now because I've just given away these three tasks.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: So, building a great team that helps you to create margin.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: What for ministry?
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I mean we Pastor Mike has said it.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: I mean I remember the very first staff I've been on staff for what?
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Five years?
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got 20, 20.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: I got hired on the middle of the pandemic.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Y'all come on.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: That's how you knew the Lord was speaking.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: I this is this don't make any sense, but, man, thank God for for listening.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: It's the Lord's favor and it's the Lord's hand.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: But I remember the first staff meeting that we had.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Pastor Mike said let me be clear about what everybody's job description is.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: It is to equip leaders to do the work of ministry.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: And that has just been ringing in my head.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, I have other things and responsibilities, but equipping leaders to do the here, it is work of ministry.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: That's delegation, that's empowerment, that is equipping, teaching, training and leading, and that is how you build margin, because that allows me to pastor.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: I'm on staff here primarily as a pastor, so I'm over.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: You know I'm here to care for people, not processes and pipelines.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Primarily I want to, and I can't do that if I'm always having my hand on the lever, turning this down and doing this thing and doing that thing, and so building a great team allows you to build margin.
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I also learned that a lot of times I put a lot of unnecessary expectations on myself that no one else had on me, so, like answering every message or taking all the things home, I was self-inflicting things, and I had to learn to let go of some of that.
• 39:53
  Speaker 6: Even at our job, here at work, or even at home the way certain things, the dishwasher was loaded or the way this got set up at work, I had to learn to trust my team, to build that team, to model that for them and just empower them to do things, and then I could let go, and so that was a little freeing for me.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Can I ask a question?
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Y'all ready for this?
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Oh boy, maybe you are.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Might be in the notes.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: Um like, can you share um um, an experience or a moment in your life, you know, in ministry or out of ministry, just just in general, where you really felt like just rhythms or just chaotic and you were overwhelmed, either at home or at work, ministry, whatever, I don't know.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: I can definitely say yes, my husband was active duty and so being deployed.
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: When our children were younger, I was working.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: Lord wasn't then what it is now, and I'm grateful that God kept me and has shown me healthier ways to do life.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: I thank God for how he sustained my family.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: But it is hard when you're trying to do it all, and especially if a spouse is away and I know that we are in a military community especially if a spouse is away, and I know that we are in a military community, and so I know that spouses of active duty soldiers get it.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: When you're trying to be that sole parent and taking care of all of the things that we cannot allow that to really get us to a place of being empty, that it is okay to ask for help first and foremost, but it's okay too to slow it down enough to say, hey, I need to get back to the basics, and that's really.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Let me just sit at Jesus's feet, because what I know now that I didn't know then is he knew when deployment was coming, I didn't, and so what maybe sometimes causes us to be off balance or unbalanced, if you will never, ever catches him unaware.
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: So if he knows what's going to happen today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: Our safest place is turning to him and he will give us what we need.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I remember when I was not at the healthiest place and utterly exhausted because I was wanting to support my husband who was away.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: So when we had opportunity to connect, I wanted it to be life-giving and so I wasn't bringing him into those things, but wanting to communicate with family, who wanted to know how he was doing, trying to be all the things to all the people.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: Communicate with family, who wanted to know how he was doing, trying to be all the things to all the people, and it was utterly exhausting.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: I see that.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: How about you?
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when we lived in Tuscaloosa.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: What's Tuscaloosa?
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: So Tuscaloosa is a city and a state that has widely been considered to be God's country.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Alabama, also known as title town.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: That's a state.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: It widely been considered to be God's country.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: Alabama, also known as Titletown, that's a state.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: It's the home of the Crimson Tide, the Alabama Crimson Tide, the premier football organization in the country.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: We just lost by a lot we did, but we're still premier.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: We're all tied always.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Just to be clear, jacob, change my name slide.
• 43:30
  Speaker 6: I feel like I got to like defend like Bo Tennessee.
• 43:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like I got to pull out Bo's joke of what's the best thing about Alabama.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: What is?
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: it.
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: I-65 North back to Tennessee.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: That's good, that's a good one, and you know what I heard in my head Gator Dave, pastor, mike, talking about this.
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: You would have people who would object to this.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, that's okay what do you call a pretty girl on UT's campus, a visitor?
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: that's not nice.
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: That's not nice you need to get on your hands and knees wait a minute.
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: That's not okay, tuscaloosa, you need to get on your hands and knees.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, that's not okay, Okay well.
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: Tuscaloosa.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: We were in.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Tuscaloosa.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I was working for the city at the time.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: I was in the director role at the city and we had two very the kids were very, very young and we were, you know, serving at a church and I was like a by vocation.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: I was a pastor, a volunteer pastor, and I remember in that year it was probably 20, I don't remember the year, it was probably like 2015-ish we had exploded.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Our church had exploded from one to four campuses.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: It was like in like four months.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: It was ridiculous.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: And so our lead pastor, he approached me and Carolyn and asked us to consider being campus pastors.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: For one of the pastors and I was younger in ministry, I was younger in my faith, and I was excited and I wanted to please my pastor.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Just being honest, I wanted to please him and I was thankful.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, he was very affirming and, hey, I feel like you're gifted for this, this and that.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: And the campus was 45 minutes away from Tuscaloosa and I was in the job I was working minimum was 65 hours a week, minimum.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: I mean this is high level government leadership, right.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: And then we got two babies at home and my wife at that time she was teaching.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: So I mean it was just, it was insane, absolutely insane.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: It's like I didn't know where that was coming or going.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: So you know, I was at the church at that campus, at least, you know, three nights a week.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Just, you know where there was team training, we're doing ministry, we're doing teaching, oh, and then we're doing outreach, because it was essentially a church and then we were just letting this, that city know, that community, you know, hey, we're here.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: So my weekends is that I was there 45 minutes away and it was just, I mean just being run ragged.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: And I just remember one day I was at my office and I just, I mean I just bowed my head and I just wept and I'm like Lord, I can't do this anymore, I just can't.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: And in the middle of me speaking that my wife calls me and she says I can't do this anymore.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: And I mean I just broke.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: It was like I just felt the release.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: And while we were on the phone, I just remember both of us looking and I forgot I don't know if it was me or if it was Carolyn who asked the question, but we were like, did the Lord tell us to do this?
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: Like we just asked that the Lord tell us.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: And in our silence it was like, no, we know the Lord didn't call us to this.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: You know, there's a scripture that says in the book of Psalms it says that his desire is not for you to work your fingers to the bones.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: It says that he enjoys giving rest to those that he loves.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: And so we just you know we had a come to Jesus meeting with pastor.
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: We said hey, we miss it on this.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Honestly, we were enthusiastic and we were excited and that's why we said yes, and we didn't want to disappoint you.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: And he was so gracious he's like no, I mean, he was just very, very kind and gracious.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: And yeah, so that was a very, very hard lesson learned.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: And I just remember I told Carolyn and I made a promise to her and my kids.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: They were babies, they didn't even understand what I was saying, but I said I will never, ever sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: Wonderful and when I took this role here you can ask Pastor Mike.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: I mean I said you know I was thankful that they would even consider me to come on to the team.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: I said it's got to be a good fit for my family and that's what I love about LifePoint.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: Lifepoint is family oriented.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: Seriously, like I just love our lead pastors.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: They are just that.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: That's their passion is healthy families.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: But I remember I told Carolyn I made her two promises.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: I said I make you two promises.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: And number one I said I will never, ever sacrifice the family and y'all to administer.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: I won't.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: I said.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Number two I said I won't grow without you.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Like I will never grow without you and the kids.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to leave y'all in the dust.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: And by God's grace I've been able to keep those promises.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Just only by his grace.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: So, good.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: How about you, Rachel?
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: Well, for me, there was one time I'm going to talk more about family in our home once I realized this.
• 48:00
  Speaker 6: But so there was this one night with four kids you know, they're not always angels and they're arguing and it's like crazy within our home.
• 48:08
  Speaker 6: But also I had been crazy with, like just busy, busy, busy, and Bo had been busy, busy, busy, and I just remember standing in a kitchen the siblings were fighting, whining door, slamming all the things, and I'm like looking at it like wide out, like, oh my goodness, who do I address first?
• 48:28
  Speaker 6: What do I do?
• 48:29
  Speaker 6: And so I just took a minute to pray and I was like, god, I need you to help me enter this with self-control, because I'm about to lose my self-control and I and that's not going to be good.
• 48:40
  Speaker 6: So, god, I need you to get like, to give me some self-control.
• 48:42
  Speaker 6: And it was like the lord said no, they need you and you need me, and so, and and so I view.
• 48:49
  Speaker 6: I remember that moment.
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: It marked me as when times get crazy, I can gauge my kids.
• 48:54
  Speaker 6: When it's starting to feel, you know, a little tension at home, I have to pull back and go.
• 48:59
  Speaker 6: Okay, I don't want to like treat these symptoms.
• 49:03
  Speaker 6: What's the root of actually what's going on?
• 49:06
  Speaker 6: And we need to reorder and realign.
• 49:07
  Speaker 6: And so for me, in that moment, it taught me they, they, it wasn't what their arguing was over.
• 49:14
  Speaker 6: They needed time with me, and for me to give them the best of me, I need time with God.
• 49:19
  Speaker 6: And so that moment, I reflect on that moment.
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: Often, when things start feeling like I'm doing things in Rachel's strength, I'm doing like I'm doing.
• 49:27
  Speaker 6: All I can do is like, no, I got to go back.
• 49:29
  Speaker 6: Okay, god, I need you.
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: God, help me to fix what I need to fix, help me to change what I need to change.
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: So I reflect on that moment.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: That's so good For me.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of examples.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I think when I feel most uneasy, or I felt most uneasy, is when the enemies attacked my wife.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: There's something about walking through other family crisis and things like that, like you're able to navigate it, you find support in other people.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: But when it's been like direct attack, where the enemies just attacked my wife in different ways, that's been the most uneasy that I feel.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: I I can't explain why.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: It's almost like maybe and I'm processing as I'm taught, verbally, processing as I'm sharing it might be that the fact that you know, in my, in my marriage, my wife and I have become our safe place in many ways, and and when it doesn't feel safe, I think that's where I feel like oh, what's going on?
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: and I feel real uneasy and again, as a guy you want to fix things, yeah, and there's some things like, like you know, there's there's attacks from the enemy that will come, that you fight together, and then there's those that we fight as individuals, right, you know, at the end of the day god is our sustenance, not our spouse, and so there's been seasons where that's been the fight, where she's under attack, and I know it's not of the Lord, it's the enemy, and I can't fix it.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: And honestly, and that's when I've felt the most chaotic, just because it doesn't matter if everything else is going well or not, like that just becomes so focal for me because you know, our kids, really, really obviously children love mom, right, yeah and our kids love mom and they see it.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: And now they're at an age where they see things and I don't know.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: It's just something about that the enemy's known to.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: If he's going to attack anywhere, it's, it's there.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: It's with my kids.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: When our kids have struggled with certain thoughts or things that the enemies put in their minds.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: You know, when they're little, they they tell us things like like I hear, I heard this voice at night and I heard.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: And then they'll wake up and just like clearly tell us the whole statement.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: We're like where did you learn that?
• 51:41
  Speaker 6: where did you hear?
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: no, I heard that at night I had a dream and this is what I get and we know, like man, it's like the enemy's attacking our kids, even as as little kids, and so it's that spiritual warfare where I tend to get more uneasy.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: You know, I've been grinding for so long 43, and been in ministry since I was a teenager and work.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: I've had to learn to overcome not being a workaholic, and my wife and kids will tell you that I've done a great job at this point, a better job than in the past, and and so that's that's.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: That's great for me to hear from them.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll tell me every once in a while you're doing a great job and I don't know for what they're like.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: You're, you're not bringing home, you know work and stuff like that.
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, thank you, like I'm not even thinking about it.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but when it's spiritual warfare, I tend to get uneasy because I don't know Of love.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but of love.
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: I just really want to say when you first started sharing, that's really what just was resonating within my heart.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: You know it's because you love your wife, you love your children, and I believe we all feel that from time to time.
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: You know we're human and so I love that you're leading in and with love, yes.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Amen, that's the heart of it, yes, and so, yeah, that's been where again things could be and not that they are, but they seem to be on fire in other areas of my life but that's been the place where, like, if it feels heavy, it's in that space, and so that's where intentional margin helps.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Bring all of that at bay.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: Hold it at bay, bring it to the Lord, because if I try it on my own strength, like we said earlier, we're not going to do it on our own strength, and so I did want to share something else that you know.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: We're talking about healthy rhythms as leaders, but I do think age also plays a different.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I think age exposes a different rhythm.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Um, I remember when I was a lot younger what you're talking about in the sense of.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: Even the Bible says you know in your youth to, you know to, to, to go all out.
• 53:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: And so I I and I say this carefully and I say this with a lot of love but a lot, of, a lot of young people nowadays are trying to live with balance, right Because that's the word that gets thrown around that they say no to a lot of things that are opportunities that the Lord's trying to draw them into, yes, and so sometimes, for the sake of maintaining healthy rhythms or balance, we're we're actually not discerning the leading of the Holy spirit because we're trying to protect something.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: So, again, healthy, healthy rhythms is not so much saying no to things, but it's, it's being discerning of what does the Holy Spirit actually want me to do.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: And so you know, I'm where I'm at today because I said yes when I was a teenager Right, and not to the position, because I wasn't ever signing up for what I'm doing today, but it was yes to oh yeah, I can run the PowerPoint, I can learn that because there's a lot that I needed to learn.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: And so learning opened certain doors and serving in certain opportunities, and you know.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: But had I said no, just thinking back, had I said no to a lot of things for the sake of protecting time, that I probably would have been playing video games.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, just focus on me versus focus on people.
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: I think I don't think I'd be here today.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, focused on me versus focused on people, I think I don't think I'd be here today.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really glad you said that, because you're right that there's this trend that people and they talk about like protecting your energy, protecting your space, protecting self care and I think to your point, pastor Rome.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: I think ultimately what that does is it hamstrings you from doing the things that God wants you to do, like it's not, like I don't want to listen, I don't want to protect my energy so that I can just have a reserve tank I want to protect that energy so that I have the margin to use it when the spirit directs me to act on something.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: And that's a really good point, cause in the nowhere, when you read scripture, especially in the gospels, nowhere do you see, like really, the book of acts.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: You don't see people trying to guard their time and their mental energy and all this stuff, just so they can just have it.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: No, it's so they can be wise, right, you know?
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, over and over again, the phrase that I love is they'll say this thing seemed good to us, it seemed good to the Lord to do this.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: That says to me, you know what?
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: We don't want to waste sideways energy.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: We have this energy, we want to use it wisely, but we don't, we don't want to just hoard it.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: And that is, I think, just.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's just a generational aspect, I think it's just an aspect of the world.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: The aspect of the world is kind of like inwardly curved, selfish, kind of think about you and like, like you know, it's like me and mine, and and and like and it's like that's not kingdom thinking.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: Kingdom thinking is I want to be wise with the limited amount of energy that I have.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: I've got this amount of time.
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: What does Ephesians say?
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: It says to be wise, because the day is evil, to make the most of every opportunity.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: To make the most of every opportunity.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: Well, if I guard my heart and I'm wise about my time and my margins, that's going to allow me to make the most of every opportunity.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: And I think that about my time and my margins, that's going to allow me to make the most of every opportunity, and I think that that is really a good point.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad you said that, pastor, because you are not where you are today because you hoarded your energy or hoarded your time.
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: You're where you're at today because you wisely used it and you made the most of every opportunity.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Hey, here's an open door, lord, is this good?
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, that's good.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Hey, that's good man, step into that.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: But I believe he knew who he was saying yes to first.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: It wasn't to learning how to do all the things in ministry, it was first to Christ.
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: Because I believe that we can invite people, but first they need to be wholeheartedly living in their yes to Christ so that they develop the ability to really understand what's a value and what isn't the glass balls versus the rubber balls.
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: I believe the Holy Spirit will help us.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: I believe that we have to move from just seeing Jesus as savior and allowing him to become Lord.
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: I love Psalm 23, verse one in the new living translation.
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: The Lord is my shepherd.
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: I have all that I need.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: The shepherd leads the sheep.
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: The shepherd supplies our needs, and we need to start living more in alignment with allowing him to do exactly what he desires to do for us, which gives us the capacity to say yes to the things that he wants us to say yes to.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: So even when I was saying protect margin, it's not to be inflexible, because every day presents a different rhythm.
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: But what I won't forfeit is time with God, because I love when the disciples asked him Lord, teach us how to pray.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: And so the model of the Lord's prayer and part of that prayer is give us this day our daily bread, and a lot of times we pray that and we only consider natural sustenance, but I believe it's first, spiritual God.
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: I need from you what only you can provide the very air I need in my lungs to breathe.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: I need to receive from you so that I can be available to you today.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know what's before me.
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: I might have a plan, stuff on my calendar, but God actually knows.
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: And so I believe the yes wholeheartedly has to be to Christ first, and if we are turning to him we're not turning inward.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, pastor Willie, that's right, it's upward that we're not turning inward.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pastor Willie, that's right.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: It's upward that we're looking, that's good.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: So that we're available.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: That's so good.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: Come on, Rachel.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: You had your Bible.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: You was flipping through.
• 59:22
  Speaker 6: Well, I was trying to find.
• 59:23
  Speaker 6: I was trying to find what, where I was reading, and you were talking about just age and stuff, and it made me just think about running, like I was trying to find where I was reading it.
• 59:35
  Speaker 6: But I can remember when I was younger and the pace of life that I had.
• 59:41
  Speaker 6: When I was younger I was able to run, keep a faster pace and I wouldn't be winded.
• 59:47
  Speaker 6: But now, the older since we're talking about age, the older I've gotten.
• 59:52
  Speaker 6: The first half mile of my run I'm like, why am I doing this?
• 59:56
  Speaker 6: This is terrible.
• 59:57
  Speaker 6: But then you get in a groove of it, and so I was trying to find the verse.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 6: That's what I was looking at, but I couldn't.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 6: I couldn't find the verse that I was just reading about, but it just reminded me that we do have to adjust depending on what season we're in or or what we have, or how many kids we have or what they're in, and so we do kind of have to adjust you know our schedules and our margins and things they just won't always look the same and to be flexible on that.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: Well, ecclesiastes, chapter 12, verse three, says remember him.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: Before your legs the guards of your house start to tremble.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: That's what you're afraid of, I'm going to keep looking yeah, you know she's doing that.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: Klesiachi devotional Everything is meaningless.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: That's what the title of it is.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: Meaningless.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: No, but it's good.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: And again, we just want to encourage you guys that are listening, watching the podcast identify a healthy rhythm for your workflow, the people that you work with, for your family.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: That's important.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: And again, we're called to be spent by God, yes, and so we do want to be able to say yes to God, and so you, but not at the cost of sacrificing our family on the altar of ministry or or even denying people around us.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: You know time, you know so just God.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: How can I manage my day best?
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: Cause we're called to be stewards even of our time.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: So good.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: Hey, thank y'all for tuning in.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: We pray that we have said something that blessed you and challenged you and really caused you to to wrestle with it and listen.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: We'd love to hear from you.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: You know, follow us on all of our socials.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: Pastor Elmer has all of that, so you can just email him and Elmer at.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: Life Pointer.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: No, but seriously, thank y'all for tuning in.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you, rachel and Miss Sonja.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, Thank you guys.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: Oh man, this is an amazing episode.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Seriously, this was awesome and forgive us for the comments about Alabama, but other than that it was a great episode.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: In.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: Tennessee, in Tennessee.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: Alright, you're supposed to get on your knees and apologize.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 6: You gotta get on your knees.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 6: That's what she said.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: I have arthritis.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: Alright, y'all Peace out.