Latest / We Talk Back / Cart Before the Horse

Transcript

Cart Before the Horse · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hoping to.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: We talked back where we encourage you to hustle hard,
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee,
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: cocktail and crown because it's about a go. Damn.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. He talks.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: What's up, y'all, it's your girl, aj Holiday, what's up, Tam.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Dam y'all, it's TVAM. I love y'all so so so
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: very much. I love you.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: I love you more.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: On your weekend, girl, y'all. My weekend was horrible, Okay.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: I had to rush my kid to the emergency room. Damn,
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Dosha the fucking cat man.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: What happened to Dasha?
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: She ate a stimulant, a prescribed stimulant that I must
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: have dropped on the floor at some point, and I
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: just felt like losing Isaiah. Sitting up in the vet.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I was just waiting for the police to come looking
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: for a prescription, like I just knew I was going
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: to fucking jail. Bitch. I was in there boohoo, crying
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: like a baby, okay, and cried even more when I
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: got the goddamn bill.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I was distraught.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: So she's getting back to normal kind of now. So
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: she actually had to stay in the hospital overnight on Friday,
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: and y'all avet don't be playing if y'all work somewhere,
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: and they offered some goddamn vet vet assurance paid on
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: a couple of dollars every couple of months a lot
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: of people. I didn't even tell people for real what
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: was happening with my cat, because.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: The one two people.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I did tell is like I'm crazy for trying to
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: save my cat's life, like they would just get another cat.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Rest of all, Yasha cost me twelve hundred dollars for
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: that fucking cat. The breach is her kittens could sell
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: upwards three thousand dollars a pop. I'm not just letting
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: my cat die regardless.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: I will even eat.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Meat, So imagine me letting the cat die.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: So I'm gonna do whatever.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: It takes to keep her healthy. And am your animals
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: become like family. You know you're not just gonna let
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: them die if you can afford it.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even necessarily like I can afford it,
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: but I don't want to afford it.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: That's the problem.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I did not want to afford this VET bill, but
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: I cried a lot, and by the time I went
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: to go pick her up on Sunday, it was half
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: the price. I was like, oh my god, that's gonna
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: put me in a major for that. Your hardship, I
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: cannot bitch when I say I was acting out in there.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I was acting out in there, and like once I
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: knew she would be okay, Like I was acting out
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: more so about the bill, right, Yeah.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: It'd taken her to the vig. You should have had
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: her like organized. Listen, when I ever Adderall, it made
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: me feel like I could do everything. You should have
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: had Dossa organized some episodes.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: The house not make her its an intern, no, but
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: it has like an average. It's so weird because you know,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: cats are very like finicky when it comes to food,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: but it's something in the stimulants that they like that
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: they're attracted to the smell of it, the taste of it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: So this is like a common thing that happens with cats.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: So if you have like a kid that's on adderall
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: or or what's the other one, red Lin and shit
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: like that, like, and you have animals like for whatever reason.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Cats like Adderall.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: She ate majority of the pill I came home once
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I got home Saturday night and looked underneath the fucking dresser.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: I see like the little pieces.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, this cat really like and I remember.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: I just feel like you didn't take advantage of that.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: She couldn't do anything, like It's like it's like somebody
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: had control altlite her shit.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: Like she was just standing in one spot looking.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I sent you the.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: Video how she was looked at Hi. She couldn't do nothing.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: They couldn't so it makes their heart rate rise real high.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Like her shit was like her blood press was like
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: one ninety six over something. Oh wow, yes, so they
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: had to like dip her in an ice bath. Shit
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: was real serious. Like Dasha was on her way out
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: of head to meet her maker, the cat maker.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: And I my heart cannot take losing another animal, I said,
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: my heart cannot take losing another animal like Bella is
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: stole my screen saving on my cell phone. That's how
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: much I missed that dog. Dasha is ten months girl.
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: I could not.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been able to function for at least
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: a week or two. Yeah, and then I had some
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: family shit going on. Yeah, it was Memorial Day. I
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: laid my ass down, bitch. I went to Belks and
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Dillers like an old bitch dude to check out these
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Memorial Day sales on some sheets and pillows and shit
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: old lady stuff. And I brought my ass back to
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: the house shift. I hope your weekend was better.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, it ain't hard.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: To top that, stupid I'm sorry, hard to talk that.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I got on a plane and we went somewhere. I'm
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: somewhere else right now, nice, and I went on a day.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: They don't sound like you're trying to tell us or
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: the listeners me or the listeners where you at week
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: on a plane and.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: You just know I got on a plane, y'all, and
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I got to come back home on Thursday morning, and
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I'm still here.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: You spending the night, bitch.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: I'm happy for you.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Sign let's get into scenes.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: Because you're sending all right. So, okay, I know the internet.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Seeing what's happening between remy Ma and Papoos and Clarissa's shields.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I don't think she's really in the equation per se.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Are they actually divorced already?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: No, that's the issue.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, And so now you're publicly online like regardless
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: of what Papoos is saying remy Ma could go to court.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: He bet it has a real life proof right because
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: he is online publicly with his girlfriend. Remy Ma went
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: live like captain on his live with him talking shit
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: or added him to her live right to check the shit.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: He was just talking on his live and like you
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: know how you it's like somebody call your phone. You're
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: on live, like your screen comes up it's him and Carissa,
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: like a picture like his avatar is him and Carissa.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: So she has a lot of ammo hey for court
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: if she wants to put something, throw some fidelity and
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: fidelity in there.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Don't get from him.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: No, she ain't gonna get well, but he can get
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: from her. So she could prove that he was the one.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe she wouldn't have to pay as much alimony.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Oh you see, because she is the bread woman where
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: we we say she's the bread winner. Papoo says that's
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: not true. But I don't know. Maybe she had I
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: don't know.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: All I know is real me my but and I
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: play with Cliversa. You see him stocking shoes, baggy your ass?
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Yes, yea.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Lady alone. She looked like a house was about to
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: drop on the play.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: Ada looked like a mouse was chewing on the tip
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: of them shoes. Bitch, she don't give a fuck, She
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: don't give a fuck.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Don't play with.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: That, lady. Mom, you're gonna have to catch another shooting
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: charge because you.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Can't be here over and we talk.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. I think she's a very sweet girl, just real innocent.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: She's real innocent, and she just authentically who the fuck
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: she is, like she ain't trying to be nobody else. Okay, obviously,
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: because that girl had on tights, y'all. Remember them tights
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: your mom and them black dark ass tights going to church.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: You ain't even start wearing, no, shearstock because he was
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: grown child. Those those are fucking tights black one quite.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: It was too big? Give it wicked with each other?
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: What of the Bronx wicked witch of the Bronx?
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Bitch where she from?
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: And the Brons people? Crazy? Child?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Girl?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: My lashes stick it to the bottom yet the Brons
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: people crazy?
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: I love you, So you know this, Okay, So y'all.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: When we first started this podcast, I was actually engaged
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: to somebody, right, and the relationship ended, and I know
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: I probably shared a lot of like not even a
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: lot because it was a whole lot of shit that
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: transparred in that relationship. But I know I probably talked
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: a little bit of shit, right And you know he
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: would actually tell me he feels like I'm trolling him
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: on the podcast. Now, mind you, nobody knows who he
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: is though, right, So, remy Ma and Patpoos have always been,
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: you know, especially since she came home from prison before
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: everybody just thought, you know, he's just holding it down somewhere,
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: waiting on remy Maudy that she actually comes home to
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: get married. They're like the symbol of black love for
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: many years, and now here they are like spilling the
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: super beans, okay about their relationship because now they're at
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: odds and they're breaking up. Is that the same thing
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: I was doing? I yeah, I don't think so.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I mean kind of.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I don't think so, Like I would never drag somebody
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I once loved like that.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: How they're doing now?
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I know Remy is a is a loving woman because
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: the way she packed that nigga stuff up nice and
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: neat in these little plastic bags she probably ordered off
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Amazon thirty in a bunch. She packed this shit up
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: real nice. But you know, if you only got clothes
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: out of house. You ain't got no steak in at
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: home for real, right, all you got is closed. There
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: ain't no furniture you could take. You just got clothes
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: in the place.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Take the TV, my nigga.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: It was a whole bunch of bends and clothes. So she,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, she packed it out real nice for him.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I just hate that because I remember when people used
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: to say that they were goals. You know. That's why
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: you can't make nobody your goals. You just have to
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: make your goals and make it just about you and
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: not nobody else shit, because people should be falling apart.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man, And you never know, Like the internet is
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: not a real place as much as we as much
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: as it's a part of our lives. You know, I
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: had an idea for a book. I won't say the
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: name of it, but.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It's like.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: It's a one big it's one big filter the internet
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: mm hmm. You know, you do not know what is
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: actually going on with anybody just by looking at pictures
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: and what they choose to show you or even what
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: they choose to say.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: On live and shit like that. You don't know.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: You never know. So you know, she said that he
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: was cheating her the entire time he was in she
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: was in prison. I mean, I don't consider it cheating.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: If I go to jail for eight years, nigga have
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: at it, Okay. If we be together when I come home,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: then so fucking be it. I would never want anybody
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: to put their life on hold for me, right, So
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: I don't consider that cheating.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You never assumed that they were, you.
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: Know, right, Like, I think that was the aine.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: As far as I'm concerned, long as you do it
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: quietly and don't embarrass me, go ahead, you know.
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Shit, even even now, I just don't want to hear
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: about it. I just I don't want to see about it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: I don't want to hear about it. Don't play in
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: my face. Do it quietly.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: That's love.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: It is love when your significant other never finds out
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: did you fuck somebody else? That is a love.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: That is like a epitome of love.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: Because shit gonna happen, especially when you with somebody for many,
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: many years. Like I just think, I think there are
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: people that could be in committed relationships for a very
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: long time and never you know, never cheat.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: But what are the odds?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: The odds are.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Very slim, so I just think they need to have
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: It's like, where did this respect go?
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: Y'all just said, fuck respect. I don't like this nigga
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: no more.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: We need together and I'm gonna just embarrass him as
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: much as possible.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Hurt people, hurt people, that's what they say.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't never want that type of love, even
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: from a friend.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Even from a friend. I
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: don't like you.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Wanna get on a public platform and talk crazy about
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: me and people know who I am. It's just different
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: when people know who you're talking about. So seeing what's
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: going on with them didn't make me think about you know,
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: the shit I probably talked, which probably nobody even remembers
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: the things I've said.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: They don't, especially the people who know him, who though.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: The fuck? But do people know him? Let me stop
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: being shady, okay anyway, Yeah, I want papoos and read
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: me to be better. Y'all have a daughter. The internet
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: is fucking ink, is not pencil. You cannot erase the
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: things that you've done. And we see how smartness little
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: girl is. I'm pretty sure she'd be on YouTube. She's
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: probably gonna be seeing some of the things that you
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: said about her dad and some of the things he
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: said about.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: Her, Like, it's just it's not cool. It's not cool.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: You have to remind yourself that people delight in your misery.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Don't give them nothing. Don't give them.
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: Nothing, Pam Dust, Yeah, that's why I What else is
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: that going on?
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Chiall? Okay? So, a New York couple charged guests three
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: hundred and thirty three dollars to attend their wedding. Out
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: of three hundred and fifty invites, only sixty people showed up.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: So he says this Nova and Remo Styles redefined wedding
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: norms by inviting guests to purchase three hundred and thirty
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: three dollars tickets to attend their twelve hour celebration across
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: New York City. This fee wasn't about covering calls. It
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: symbolizes the age of number three three three, representing change, growth,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: and strength. Proceeds were donated to a foundation supporting couples
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: facing infertility challenges HMM. Originally planning for three fifty guests,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: the Styles faced the challenge of narrowing their lists to
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: sixty two to logistical constrains. Oh so, it wasn't like
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: sixty people showed up out of three fifty. They narrowed
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: their guests down to sixty. Mm hmm, okay, that's fair,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: and then all sixty people showed up with three hundred
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it says by introducing the ticket system, they
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: allowed friends and family to self select their participation, leading
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: to more intimate gathering. Despite initial skepticism, the event sold
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: out and the couple express no regrets, nothing that the
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: experience clarified, oh, noting that the experienced clarify the depth
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: of their relationship.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: Okay, so it wasn't what we thought initially.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: That is not tacky like take away the donation thing
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: like them donating the money and all that stuff, and
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: other cultures people help, they help, they help their the
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: loved ones have these weddings like we see the African weddings.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I want me an African wedding, like I need y'all
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: motherfuckers to show up and throw bands on me. And
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: I want to sit there and act like I don't care,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: because that's what the woman is supposed to do. Y's
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: supposed to act unbothered. Why he throw money on her?
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I want to do that, and the bitch ain't gonna
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: never smile, Like I'm mean running them pockets, your family,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: pay the dowry, all that shit, Like why aren't we
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Black Americans don't support enough?
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: They don't support each other enough.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I agree, but I don't think you should charge to
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: get your support.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I think the people who actually love you, they're gonna
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: pay that three hundred and thirty three dollars. So maybe
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: that's even a way to wean out people who really
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: what if they don't come in to eat, What.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: If they don't have three hundred and thirty then.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: You shouldn't in the wedding. So you'll come to the.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: That's the part. That's the part for me, because it's
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: people that I love who may not have three hundred
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars to throw up my occasion. They
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: got kids, you know, they got responsibilities and three three
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: three for me might not be in the budget, you know,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: so they can't come.
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, maybe we'll have we'll have a difference, a
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: separate celebration. But I think that there's nothing wrong with
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: people providing their love loved one financial assistance when getting married.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I think that it's a I think it's a great
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: thing if we plan a whole year in advance.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: I feel like y'all should have three hundred and thirty
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: three dollars by next year. If not, we need to
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: evaluate some other shit. You know what I'm saying, Like
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: you got to reevaluate your whole life. If you can't
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: say three hundred and thirty three dollars for your loved one.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Well, if I got four kids, all of them need
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: something all the fucking time. I don't have no help.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: The three three three just ain't showing up right now.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: It's going to all kinds of shit.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: They you just I don't I wouldn't feel like you
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: don't love me, right, Yeah, I wouldn't feel like you
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: don't love me right, But maybe you just you can't
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: attend right now? People need to get more in the
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: like you.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Nobody come for free. You can't make no exceptions.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: What I'm saying, if I were to if a person,
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't say, I wouldn't I wouldn't do this personally, right.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: But if a person decides to do something like this, yeah,
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: that would mean you can't attend, and it's okay to
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: miss out. On things you want. You shouldn't have fomo
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: about it. This is just something you might have to
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: miss out on.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: People come, wedding is a lot of times are for
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: other people.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: A marriage costs as much as a marriage license.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: So people are spending upwards twenty thirty forty fifty thousand
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: dollars on a wedding for people. Half the people don't
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: even your gift for real, So who's the celebration for?
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: So help me celebrate?
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: I love.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with people asking
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: for help. I don't even think it's help. I just
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: think everybody should just contribute. I think it should just
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: be a routine thing. I think it should just be
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: the culture.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Well, bitch, let me tell you this. You have a
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: wedding where you go charge me upwards of three hundred dollars.
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: You better tell me you.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: Paid three hundred dollars for Beyonce tickets. You pay fifteen
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: hundred for Beyonce tickets, So you mean to tell me
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: you want to see Beyonce get We're rather probably fifteen
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: hundred for this strange ass bitch and your best to
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: get married, and you probably in the wedding too.
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: I might have paid for your dresses.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I had pp you should have got you.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: That is terrible, man. You see what I'm saying, Like
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: people have money for the things they want to have
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: money for. Even a woman with four kids and no assistance,
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: like she got a habit, she's supporting that she not
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: spend three hundred and thirty three dollars on some weed,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: some wine something. If you love me, save the three
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: hundred and thirty three dollars, man, and come to my
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: wedding and show out with me.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Is there going to be a zoom link that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: That's gonna caught you do?
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I'm charge ten dollars for the zoom link and the
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: shit gonna cut off every forty five minutes because I've
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: got no subscription. No man, But I understand. I understand
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: both sides and things like, yeah, you can't pay for
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: some shit you don't have, But I know that people
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: find money for things they actually want to do, right,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: So it's just what you what you deem important, That's
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: that's it. It's the same thing with destination weddings. If
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: you can't get there like then you just won't be
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: at the wedding. I won't think you don't love me.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: You couldn't get there, so I might have a destination
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: wedding and whoever could get there will be in attendance.
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: It's fine.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I know y'all saw over the weekend
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: or last week Don Richard took the stand. Okay, she
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: took the stand and the Diddy trial. I haven't actually
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: done a deep dive on the most recent stuff in
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: the in the in the in the hearings, I haven't,
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: but anyway, I know she took the stand. And then
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: also her ex boyfriend was on a podcast Q Mosley
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: and he reportedly accused Don Richard of drugging him with
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: a pill. So this was her boyfriend, I mean, excuse me,
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: this was his girlfriend.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: He trusted her.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: They both took a pill to his recollection, recollection, the
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: same pill. But apparently he was out of it, like
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: he was incoherent, like he went down basically, and when
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: he came to, he says that he was in the
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: twins bed. So I don't know what what he's alluding
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: to that could have possibly happened. Maybe that's just where
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: they rested him at. I don't know what happened to
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: him while he was unconscious. Yeah, and maybe he's just
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: not speaking to it. He said, I've never drugged anyone,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: nor have I ever given anyone pills to take. He
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: mostly alleged that he experienced memory loss and trauma after
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: taking a pill he believed was ecstasy given to him
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: by Don Richard during a visit to to Diddy's Hampton's estate.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: He described feeling like a labrat in an experimental in
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: an emotional experiment, and blamed for his lasting trauma, including
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: hallucinations and memory loss. And then she explained her silence
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: on the matter as a way to protect Q and
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: his family, emphasizing her intention to move forward with integrity
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: and compassion. She said the relationship between it's it's said
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: that the relationship between Don Richard and Qi Moseley began
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: during their time of making the band four has now
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: come under scrutiny as they navigate conflicting narratives about their past.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: So she's denying that that even happened now.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: He did say on that podcast episode that they both
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: took a pill. Maybe he had an adverse effect to it,
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know, or maybe he suggested that she gave
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: him something else other than ecstasy, and then I wonder
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: what happened to him?
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: Did he have did I was thinking that I just
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: wasn't going to say it, dog, I.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Wasn't going to say it would make a difference.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, So I want to know. I want to
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: know more about what he experienced because if y'all all
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: sitting there taking recreational drugs, you know what I'm saying. Like,
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: the first time I did shrooms, I did it with
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: my ex. I was cool, I had my headphones on,
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: listening to meditation music. This nigga was clearly having a
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: panic attack, Okay, Like I almost was like, damn, dude,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: do I need to call a paramedics because he just
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: couldn't keep still, Like he just would lay down, he
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: would get up. He was pacing, pacing back and forth.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: He was visibly nervous. Right, we took the same thing,
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: the same amount.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You ain't try to calm him down.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: I did try, But like, what do you so, how
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: do you call him somebody that you know when you
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: take certain stimulants, you just have to wait for it
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: to get out your system.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I thought some one person supposed to stay sober when.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: You're doing shrooms. Shrooms the thing with shrooms is that
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: your mind.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: It depends on your mind, like right, your mental state,
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: So obviously it exposed his mental state. That's probably how
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: his mind feels on a daily basis, Like now I
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: can see his subconscious mind running around the fucking room me.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: But I'll call him as hell because that's normally how
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: I am. Mm hmmm, I don't know how. I mean, people,
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's safe to If we're gonna do shrooms,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: how can one person just not do them? I'm gonna
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: just sit and watch how it affects you. That don't
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: make sense.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: That's like if you a person just ain't getting hot today.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: But we had planned all day to do shrooms together
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: for the first time, Like that's really what happened.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but don doesn't strike me as the type that
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: would like intentionally hurt her boyfriend.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: So yeah, maybe he just had an adverse effect to it.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: But you never know. You never know who people is
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: for real.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Mm mmm, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't,
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: But I don't know.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: We're so like we got I think the trial is
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: supposed to be like eight weeks long, like we're in
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: week three now or week four where we at I
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: think week three, So it's a lot more that's gonna
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: come out with that trial. That particular situation isn't on trial, right,
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: but I think he took it at you know, her
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: testifying in that case. He took it as an opportunity
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: to tell his truth and what he experienced during that time.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: And I mean, you can't discredit people, right, But there's
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: always two sides there every story. So I don't know,
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: yeah that part, yeah, y'all, we come into an end
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: with the sins. But I do want to mention that
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: is a motherfucking Gemini season. I don't know if y'all
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: knew or not. Okay, there's most of your favorite rappers, okay,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: are geminized. This is actually the United States of Gemini. Okay,
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: because Trump is also a Gemini. And I appreciate it, y'all.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I never realized how many people were actually geminized though.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: It's like every year it's like new motherfucker's getting added on. Like,
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know, did you see money Long? Shut up?
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Did you see money Long? Said? Uh? Well, she said
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: the worst zodiac as a female Gemini. And when she said,
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not explaining or I'm not arguing or whatever now,
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: mind you. When I saw that, I immediately went to go
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: see what her sign was. So money Long is a Virgo.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: You know, I fell out with a Virgo bestie this year,
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: and we hadn't followed out over the past several months.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: We had had plenty falling outs, right, But it is
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: the stamina for bullshit, the Gemini possess that keeps relationships
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: going even when people be violating us. So imagine a
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: motherfucker Gemini getting to a point to where you can't
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: violate me no more. So now it's fuck you, and
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: now I'm the worst zodiac sign. She can't say men,
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: She said the women geminis. I got a real problem
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: with that. Virgo. My best friend from first grade is
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: a Virgo, okay, and I love her down and we
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: never had no issues for real.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Do you think potentially it could just be the person. Yeah?
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, But she didn't say that though she said basically
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: fuck female geminis. Yes, I'm not saying she could not
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: have possibly had a bad experience with a woman who
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: happens to be a Gemini. Right, But once I saw
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: that she was a Virgo, and I know how bossy
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: and mean and possessive. Virgos can be Geminis you cannot control,
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: So we're gonna always be the kryptonite for goddamn Virgo
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: who's out of control.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: Virgo women are nuts.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Like I, I believe in astrology a little bit, but
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I just don't believe that everybody. When you were born,
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: this is your characteristics exclusively to you because you were
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: born in January, you know, Well.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: It's what the moon, the alignments and stuff like that,
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: like the stars alignments particular times, because the time of
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: your birthday also plays a role in.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: It, right, because you you have your main.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Sign, which I'm Gemini, right, so Gemini's son, but I'm
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: actually Virgo rising, right, so I.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: Know what the fun I'm talking about when when it
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: comes to these.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Virgos and Libra moon, So all that stuff also then
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: plays a role in you know, people only pay attention
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: to the sun sign most of the sign, but all
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: that shit combination makes up who a person is, and
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: it's just really a baseline. No, I'm never gonna treat
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: anybody a particular way, like just based on their sign.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: But he's people, I.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I never he said he a Pisces.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: That's how I am with Scorpio men and Aquarius man.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: I ain't even gonna lie to you. You know, I
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: know Scorpio's gonna fuck the ship at you, but they're
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: gonna have your ass po zessed. Okay, they're gonna they
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: probably gonna.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Get you pregnant a lot of times.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: All type of shit gonna be going on, Like you're
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: gonna have to move from state to state to get
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: away from the fucking Scorpio. And then Aquarius are very
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: very They're a super intellectual beings.
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: What the motherfuckers this crazy? Like they are all so crazy.
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: And then the men and women are also different.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: But you know that I want to just speak to
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: you right quick, right, so you can get off this topic. Uh,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Geminis are not too faceted. Okay, Our attitude depends on.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: You, that's what it is. We are very mutable, Okay.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like sometimes it's like two people living inside.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: It's actually more than two people, that's the thing, right,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: But we are usually a mirror of who we talking to, right,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: So that's one thing I work on as a Gemini.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: I work on not allowing other people to determine my emotions.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: And my feelings in a moment. I really am truly
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: studying stoicism, right, so I don't give a fuck, Like
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: I can't not let outside things determine how I feel
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: and how I'm gonna respond and stuff like that. You
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. Just just understand people dealing with
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: their own shit. But but Geminis like we however you come,
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: we're coming back just like that. It's just like no
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: real middle ground, right, So people might call that that's
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: not really two face. It's like I'm responding to how
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: I'm being treated.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't believe that all Geminis only respond
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: to how they're being treated. Sometimes Geminis are assholes up front.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: You know, some asshole geminis upfront. I was an asshole
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: when we would be like for a very long time,
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: it'd be other little it'd be other little things, just
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: sprinkling writing that then changes like this question is your question?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: There's no right answer.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: If I had a knife to your back, right, sit
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: the wrong thing.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: She's never said or done anything.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: Like don't tit and I won't tat.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: That's Gemini, okay, But like I said, some of your
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: favorite people a Gemini's Okay, Kanye west birthday is on
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: June eighth, just like mine, and I love Kanye. I understand, Kanye,
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't know. I don't know what to say.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: What the fuck we talk about this week?
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: I don't know a child? Oh you know where we are?
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, what we're talking about this week when we come
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: back from break? We are talking about because I gots
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: some friends in some situations right now? Shit, me too, bitch.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, let's be very clear.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: Basically, you know, the pros and cons of acting like
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: a wife without actually being a wife. Are there any
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: pros to that? Are there any cons? Is it just
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: one of the same if you're a girlfriend.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: I don't know. That's what I want to talk about though.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: All right, let's talk about it, because what makes you
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: a wife? Just legal document?
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: That's the only thing, right, that part.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: All right, we'll get into it when we get back.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: All right. What's going on with your friends? Tell a story,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: tell a stabusiness.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: It ain't just friends all friends, right, it's just women
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: in general. I think that I remember being in college,
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: right and I've had some friends that any man that
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: they were in a relationship with like they would be
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: at this.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: We talk to young people, young men.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: Just at their house, like cleaning their house up, cleaning
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: a nigga house and cooking at the man's house and
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: shit like that. I know that people associate those little
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: small characteristics, are those little small activities right with being
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: a wife. But being a wife is so much more
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: than cooking and cleaning. Right when you get into fixing
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: a nigga life, which a lot of women do often, right,
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: you become this man's secretary, just making his life better,
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: right without the commitment part. That's where you be fucking
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: up at because you don't know if he's going to
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: marry you. You just don't know.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: So you're doing all these things and you don't know
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: where you even stand with this man for real.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: So all right, but ultimately all right, some of our goals,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: not all of us. But it's to be a wife
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: at some point, Right, how do you want to be
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: seen as someone who could be a wife if you
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: don't start, you know, showing those characteristics beforehand, It's like,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: can you just like, oh, he asked me to marry him,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: so now I cut on these characteristics. Now I'm gonna
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: start doing the thing.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, I can give an example of my life. Okay,
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: So when I was previously engaged, before we got engaged,
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: we were starting a business together.
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: Ben smashing raw.
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, doing all of these things together only for him,
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: you know, when I'm trying to hold him accountable for something,
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: which I'm learning that you can't hold other people accountable
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: for shit, like it's up to them.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: So when I would try to hold him accountable for
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: things that had transpired in our relationship, he would always say, well,
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: we wasn't We wasn't together then, so in his mind
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: he well, no, I know, this wasn't in his mind.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: This is a form of gaslight in me, right for
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: me to feel like we weren't even in a relationship
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: until he asked me to marry him. Imagine being with
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: somebody and doing all these things right, and they don't
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: consider it like none of the two last two three years. Right,
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: the moment he asked me to marry him is when
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: he's now in a committed relationship. But we had been
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: doing all the things prior to him asking me to
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: marry him, and I would always question, like I would
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: always ask him like what are we doing? Because I
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: didn't feel comfortable like I wanted to do the busines says.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do those things. And if he was
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: somebody that I can still do business with today and
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: not be in a relationship with, we could have been
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: getting a bag, a major one, right. But I would
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: always ask him, like, because I needed clarification. I needed
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: to be comfortable doing these wifely things. I needed to
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: be comfortable being your business partner if I knew it
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: was going to lead to a lifetime of commitment, and
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: that I knew it was going to lead to marriage.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: But I think oftentimes women assume that because you're doing
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: all these things with a man, that y'all are on
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: the same page.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: But how do you know, Like, you never really know
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: if it's going to lead to marriage, whether you do
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: the things or not.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: But you do know when a man is being honest
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: with you, right, when he's forthcoming with you, if you
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: ask him, hey, what are we doing? I want to
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: make sure I'm doing the right I want to be
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: comfortable doing these things with you. If he wants to
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: continue to fucking mind fuck you, he's not going to
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: be honest, right. But if you with somebody who actually
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: has your best interest at heart, who knows what he
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: has in the future for you, who's calculating you into
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: his future. You know it won't You won't ever be
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: confused about it. Right, So, if you're ever in a
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: relationship and there's confusion, it's because somebody is intentionally creating
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: that confusion because they don't want you to be at ease.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: So if you with somebody who never wants you to
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: be relaxed and they always want you to be on edge,
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: that's not the person for you.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: No, I agree, But a nigga might not know like
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: I feel like, or the woman might not be sure,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Like you can be doing all these things with a
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: person and still be unsure if you see them as
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: your husband or wife. Right, Sometimes I feel like that
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: takes time.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: No, I was about to say absolutely, yeah, because things
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: change right while you're in the thing with the person.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: Things do change right, and then you got to communicate
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: that to the person you're with, Like, Hey, I'm not
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: feeling like this anymore. I was at one point, right,
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: But this is where I'm feeling like now, Like I
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: don't see I don't see us having a kid together,
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: I don't see us actually being married. I don't see
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: us owning a home together, right. I think women do
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: a better job at communicating, like they're not interested in
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: that way. Yeah, men want the milk from all the
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: women like he would have you doing. It's like they
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: really be building bitches. They got you doing this, this
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: one doing that. And I think that's what I was
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: experiencing too, Like he was used to having multiple women
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: doing multiple things, and then when he locked in on me,
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: he expected all of that from one me.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Mm hm, you better go get you a tea? Who's
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: your tea?
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: Where's your fucking team?
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: So are you really building a relationship or are you
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: just auditioning for a role that hasn't actually been offered?
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: But both, it's both.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: But does wife does wifey behavior get you the ring?
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Or does it get you used booth?
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Because think about it, it could go either way. It's
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: a fucking crapshoot. Like you can be in there bacon
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: cookies with your your apron on and got the house
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: smelling like lemon and do it all the things and
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: sucking deck and reading to the kids. His kids. Maybe
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: they ain't even got to be your kids. Girl and
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: a niggas still don't marry you, or you could be
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: in the house and all you do you just know
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: how to make a mean door dash. It can't and
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: a man marry you. It just there's no real rhyme
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: or reason to any of this shit as far as
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I'm concerned, Like, there's just no And a man could
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: like you could be the best bitch and he never
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: marry you, never marry you. He could and then be
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: in the interview talking about I didn't get married because
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't want my mama to jous Marlon Waims.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: My daddy used to use the excuse that he was
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: still married to my mama to not marry.
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: A bitch, like divorce her.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: Y'all been separated since I was eight, Like, get the divorce.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: My mama literally divorced him a month before he met
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: she married my stepdaddy, like she women always got to
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: do the paperwork, always women.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: So women always do the paperwork.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's I guess let's discuss then some behaviors
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: that people might label as wifey like behaviors. So we
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: mentioned cooking, like cooking full meals daily, living together. Is
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: I just feel like now right now, I feel like
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: until you get married y'all should sleep to each other
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: house and shit, but y'all shouldn't.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: Cohabitate before getting married.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: I feel like I really feel like that. I feel
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: like it is tough.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: It's tough, it's not fucking easy, and I don't know
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: that it gets easier once you actually get married, right
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: because or maybe hold on, see now, this is what
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: the Gemini might be kicking it, and maybe you should
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: because maybe you get into the thing living together, you
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: realize this ain't my dad's husband.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Sometimes it might be better to
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: live with them to see if you can live with them.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Like, just go ahead and do the thing that's that
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: that might look.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe in my ideal marriage, my husband and I would
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: have two separate homes with like a bridge between.
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: Not an in law sweet a husband's sweet him downstairs
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: for real, Like we're in their basement. Like you better
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: not come up from that basement, that's all I know.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: You better used that back door.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: So okay, so cooking full meals daily, I don't know
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: how you get around that if you're living with somebody,
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: like everybody gotta eat now. I do get tired to
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: have to worry about a nigga's stomach because it's some
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: days I don't eat. It's some days I just go
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: to sleep. It's some days I eat cereal, I eat
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: an apple or banana, Like some days I don't feel
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: like a full meal every day. Right, So you got
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: you gotta be with somebody who okay with that, not
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: cooking full meals every day. I don't have a kid yet, or.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Someone who can also cook. There's this couple on Instagram.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: I can't think of there anything. It's a black girl
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: on her boyfriend's Asian. Oh.
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: Yes, he'd be throwing down, Yes, he'd be throwing it down.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: You just sit down and eat.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, yes, that is the whole love language.
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: I like to cook, and I do like people to
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: cook for me and serve me too. Yeah, cleaning his
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: home or doing his laundry, right, so y'all not living
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: together and you're coming over, you're cleaning his house up,
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: and you're doing the laundry.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: I don't find it. I don't mind doing that.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: You can't have an expectation, though, I think that women
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: do it and with an expectation from the man, right commitment.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: So maybe we aren't being honest about why we're even
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: doing the things.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: Why do you feel a need to do that?
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: The times that I've cleaned a nigger house, but the
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: times that I've actually cleaned another man's house is because
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: I wanted to be comfortable when I come. Like, I'm
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: making sure your bathroom clean because I like bathrooms. That's
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: cleaning like a hotel bathroom. So yeah, I don't want
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: to see no shit, run a toilet, none of that bullshit.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I'll clean a nigga house. Like I said before,
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: I've bought sheets. I've bought comforters because I like nice linnens.
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: I want to get fucked on this nice ass bed,
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I might buy you some new pillows and
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: shit like that.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: That's not necessary because I'm trying to be your wife.
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: I want to be comfortable. How he gonna another bitch,
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: probably gonna get fucked on these stams. He probably gonna
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: get more bitches because I bought him sheets.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: It's about you, it's not even about the other person. He.
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: The men enjoy that too.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: They don't even know what nice things are oftentimes until you.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: So hard sleeping with a rock on a rock in
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: a cardboard rock.
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: Like Why do you got this fucking fake ass polyestera satin?
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: She's on this bed.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: I'm slipping and sliding every time I move, like the
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: she is coming off the mattress Like that feels uncomfortable.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: Play a player for the Himalaya sheets. Get that bullshit off.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: You might as well have alac man.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Why is she sticking to me?
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: It's not breathable. Why the fuck is this pillow so flat? Right?
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Folding this bitch four times a napkin? First of all,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: because I got indigestion. Nigga, I'm dying here. Give me
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: a bigger pillow.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: Oh bitch? Giving money or emotional support during hard times?
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: You helping him with his credit, You're helping him pay
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: some ship off, You're doing job applications for him.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Well, what is a bitch supposed to do with a
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: relationship if we're not doing none of this stuff?
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: You know, you need to know that that's your man first,
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: that you.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: How is the man gonna decide that he even want
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with you if you not
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: like pouring into him too in different ways? You gotta
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: do You gotta be.
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: A man is not coming to your house to clean
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: it now, what that man should be doing is cleaning
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: your car, Yeah, putting some gas and that shit. Yet
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: it has to be yes, it has to be reciprocal, right,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: So wifey shit is okay if he's doing husband things.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: But I think women get mad, right because they're doing
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: all these things to make this man know like I'm
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: the one, pick me, pick me, pick me, and then
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: they're disappointed at the end of the day and then
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: you're talking shit about this basic bitching that none of that.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: All she brought was pussy to the table on the
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: iPhone and he he married her.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, Because men really don't like easy. They do like
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: they are hunters, you know, they like to to have
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: to find some shit. So if you're just putting everything
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: on the table for him, how is he to like
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: actually appreciate those things. Some men will, right, but there's
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: a lot of men who are takers.
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: They'll just use your ass up.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: They done did it to you and the last bitch,
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: and they might got two of y'all doing all the
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: things for their life. Right now, you just got to
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: know who you're doing those things for, and it has.
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: To be reciprocated.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Prioritizing his needs before your own. I think that's easy.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Women do that a lot, right, you calculating, you have
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: all this self awareness, and you're calculating everything he needs.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Not self awarenes, excuse me, all this emotional intelligence and
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: you're calculating everything he needs and not even expressing what
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: it is that you need.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: I listen, I've been a victim of that behavior, like
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: just even down to like I just always give the
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: best to the other person, and I'll take left even
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: like not just men. Even with friends in my house,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: like we order food, I'm going to give them the
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: prettier one. I'm gonna give them the one with the
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: most I'm gonna give them, you know, always always it's
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: just subconscious, like subconsciously, I'm going to give you the better.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: I gotta stop doing that, though, because sometimes I deserve
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: the better one. My friends, she not like that. I
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: come over and eat at her house, She's gonna look
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: at it. You're gonna get the smallest one.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: I do that too, not like I don't take the
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: smaller one, like I want whatever I give somebody, or
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: like I want it to be.
• 46:46
  Speaker 4: The better one for them. Yeah, me too, you know
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Like I don't know what is.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: That need to be balanced though, because you shouldn't always
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: give the better one to someone else.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: It depends on if I really really like it, Like,
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: if it's something I really like, I'm gonna give you
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: the smaller one, like don't motherfucking ask me about no
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: damn these academian cookies.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I like the bigger one, And then I'm gonna resent
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: you for heaving watching you have the bigger one, and
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: I'm mad about it.
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: But I give a child you are so childish?
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I am.
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: You are childish.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: That's something I gotta work on. I just think you
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: have to display some wifely characteristics. If you want a
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: man to see you as a wife. You can't just
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: turn it on later because it might not be nothing
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: to turn on later, because the nigga never saw you
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: as a wife because you never behaved as one.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: But do the men even know what a wife is
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: supposed to be doing, because you know, some of these
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: guys want a mom right going to his house. This
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: is a grown man who lives on his own and
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: you're coming over there cleaning his room.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And what's the difference between a mom and a wife
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Outside of.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: Six mamas clean up after their sons all day long.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: I don't think that I should be in a relationship
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: with another grown adult and they're not cleaning up behind themselves.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's a part of being a wife,
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: or even a girlfriend, or even just with another adult.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: You're talking about mother of a child.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: These men a lot of times, some of them are
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: fucking kids. They do stuff like kids, they do, And
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's fair that that the onus is
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: just always on a woman to take care of these things.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: You if I would wasn't here, or if you didn't
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: have somebody to come clean your house up, wouldn't you
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: be paying somebody cleaning up? And especially if we both working,
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, we both have things we
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: are also responsible for outside of this relationship. Got it
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: gotta be like, we gotta help each other. We got
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: this give and take.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: It should be balanced. Yeah, twenty five, nobody's doing all
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: the one role.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so maybe some of these things have to be
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: then outsourced. Right, So you've been cleaning your own house,
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: I've been cleaning my own house. We finally get a
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: house together, and you think that just because I'm a woman,
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: I'm supposed to clean up everything and clean up after you.
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: No, yeah, clean up your space.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes niggas can't clean up that good because you, like
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: a man will be like, yeah, I cleaned it, and
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: then you go in there and be like, hell.
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: So are you talking to a man? Are you talking
• 49:20
  Speaker 4: to a child?
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: No, it's still a man. Just because he's not strong
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: a strong cleaner, that don't make him a man.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, clean this until there's nothing there.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: He might be strong in other areas, Like he's not
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: a strong cleaner.
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: But a strong cleaner, you can carry.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: All this shit the house with one hand, you know,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Like he can cut the grass, and I don't have
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: to tell him. He can put gas in the car.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: He do it every day. My gas they feel. But
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: when it comes to cleaning that tub, he'll try, but
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: he ain't gonna do that good.
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: And I'm gonna be fucking mad anyway, because I know
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: how to put gas.
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: I had to cut the grass.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I knew.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: I do all the things. I'm clean.
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: I mean the fuck out of this thing.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: But you don't have to. You know, you don't have
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: to there to do it.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: I need you.
• 50:07
  Speaker 4: I need capable people in life.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: You've got to recognize people's strong suit and play to that.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh.
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: Being sexually available on demand.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: On demand, it's crazy.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: I feel like when you're living with somebody, like, it's
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: just different. When y'all live apart, y'all want to fuck
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: each other all the time. Now, when a dick is
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: available to pussy's available every day, do you really want
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: that ship every day? I am so tired of the shrimp.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: Where is the beef? Where is the chicken pasta?
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Listen? I can't think of one thing in the world
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: outside of money that I want every day, you know, yeah?
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: And I think also a mistake that women make having
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: pussy on demand. For men, you can't get him to
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: do anything you need him to do once. You don't
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: drain his balls all day, and you're giving him this
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: reward every day without actually producing anything. So even a
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: husband wives, No, you can't fuck them every day.
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: You can't.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: They're not gonna do anything they supposed to do, anything
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: they said they're gonna do. You can't give them pussy
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: every day they have to.
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: That's like that's like a reward, right.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: I know, pussy is supposedly so plentiful and everywhere, but
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: everybody don't got this pussy. If he married you, he
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: wants that pussy in particular. Okay, so you're just making
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: that pussy available all the time. He gonna get tired
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: of it and he's gonna be trying to find another pussy.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: And then that don't mean he don't love that pussy.
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: But it's like, shit, yeah, I got that one in
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: the bags, in the bag. No, you gotta, yeah, you gotta.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: You gotta give it out spearingly. I'm not telling you
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: not to have sex which with your significant other, you know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: because if you don't, definitely somebody else gonna be fucking them.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: But I just you know the person sometimes, yes, I
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: do you know women are in heat, like what twice
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: a month. Maybe we might be in heat around the
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: ovulation in the week after the period. Yeah, maybe that
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: might be the best time to tap me on my
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: shoulder to am. But other than that shoulder, yeah, like
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I'm ready when you're ready. Basically, it's going down whenever
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: you want it. But yeah, I don't think you should
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: be just having said especially if you're not if you're
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: not married to this man. I know you want to
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: have sex too, but you have to practice a little
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: bit of a little bit of discipline. You don't want
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: him to get tired of it or used to it.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: Is there any way to combat that? There's no way
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: you can ration that pussy as much as you want.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Eventually he's gonna get used to that pussy in life.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Why you know you're gonna get used to this penis
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: It's just no way to like avoid that, especially if
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: you're living together.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: I guess you gotta, I don't know, find new new
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: things other than sex that makes you happy.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: About this person, A new nigga on the side that
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: sparts it up.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: You know, I know, I feel like that's that's that's
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: a whole episode, Like how side bitches actually strengthen marriages.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: Our size bitch, our side bitch is necessary. Have we
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: done that before?
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know, know we did? Who? Who? Who?
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Our side bitch is necessary because here's the thing.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: I think they're gonna be necessary for my relationship. I
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: already know after like, I need you girl five to
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: seven years. Please get this nigga.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: But you know, okay, remember I texted you that day.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: I was like, yo, I think this is how holes
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: are created, right, That feeling when you first meet like
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: the first time sex feeling, like the intimacy that builds
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: up before you actually have sex, and hanging out, the
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: holding hands and kissing, the rubbing up all at the lust, Right,
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: how do you keep that going in a relationship you're
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: already in. It's damnar impossible yet, so in order to
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: have that lust full feeling, I mean, people confuse it
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: with love, but it is lust. If y'all haven't gott
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: no like it, this is real life sexual tension.
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: How do you keep that going with the same person?
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: Like? You have to have it with a new person
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: every time, you know what I'm saying. It has to
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: be somebody else every time, because you you've already experienced it.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: You already had that thing with this person. And it
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: could be that you had it, you know, for a
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: whole month, two months, it lasted three months, it might
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: have lasted a year. But it's gonna die off initially,
• 55:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, eventually it's gonna die off. That the butterflies.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: And that's why I think it's important to pick a
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: person that you love outside of sex, because that she
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: gonna get mundane eventually. I don't give a fuck what
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: y'all say is gonna.
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: Get but not even the sex, the intimacy, you know
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Like, I like to have sex, but
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: I also just like to be rubbed up and booty
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: touched and stuff like that. And then once I'm tired
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: of you, I might not even like you rubbing my butt.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: I don't want you even touching me for real. So
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: how do you keep that going with the same person forever?
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know if he's supposed
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: to at this point.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: That's why I say that's how holes are created, because
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: we're always trying to duplicate that feeling, and I think
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: you only get that feeling from somebody new or.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: In the beginning.
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, I don't know.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: Could you be in an open situation.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: Yes, But I don't think that that that black men,
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: majority of black men can't deal with that.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I know too, I ain't. The only
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: reason I think that is because I've been single so
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: long now that it's gonna be hard to like. So
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: I just got to deal with him. That's say. It
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: just him, that's crazy, not not even like sexually. I
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: just enjoy this.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: Just emotional, yeah, just talking learning, Like how do you
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: learn more new things if you're only experiencing the same
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: person all the time, right, And I'm not just talking
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: about sex, like just knowing things that other people know,
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: like learning from other people.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: Like I like new jokes, because telling new jokes, your
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: jokes are the same. So I'm open to that, honestly.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I am too. At this age, I am. I
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: just want to be honest with whoever I'm with. I
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: want to be honest about exactly who I am and
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: exactly what my desires are without being judged. No, absolutely not.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: I'm not even saying I want to have sex with
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: a new person every fucking month and no ship like that.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: I just don't want it to be the option to
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: be closed off because men don't close those options off.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: They just don't tell you the truth, you know. I
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: think a lot of times women we be closing shit
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: off because we have a little bit more discipline. I
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: ain't gonna say all these bitches now, motherfuckers be out here, rabbit,
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: but yeah, I think we got a little bit more
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: disciplined than men in that department. But why do we
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: have to so some of those things, like doing those
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: those wifely things that we named. You know, it helped
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: may help like build intimacy right between you and your partner,
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: whoever it is that you're choosing to be with. You
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: know each other's like living habits and their emotional needs
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: and things like that. So maybe doing some of those
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: things are just a part of being in a relationship
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: with somebody. I don't think none of it should be
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: done excessively though. Right all the time to where he's
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: expecting you to now come clean his house, he's not
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: cleaning up behind himself because he know you will. That's
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: when it becomes like you're abusing this love and then
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: the women start developing. Yeah, yeah, I know.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: My ex nigga used to I had him so spoiled.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: He'd be like drinking beer on Sunday watching football. And
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: this shit sticks with me because it pissed off.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: You say it too, I know exactly what you're about
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: to say.
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: Him holding that motherfucking beer bottle up, it's just shaking
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: it in the air. Does he at least say bay
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: bay and then shake the bottle in the air.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: Bringing him another beer? And what did he ever do
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: to deserve that treatment?
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: He was a.
• 59:19
  Speaker 4: Good nigga or man, God damn.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Same thing. He wasn't. He wasn't perfect by any stretch
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: of the imagination. Neither was I. But he took care
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: of me. I mean I didn't have to. I ain't
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: have to want for nothing for real, Like, but don't
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: don't I still feel like, open your mouth because I'm up.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna serve you. I don't mind serving you, but
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: don't don't treat me like a servant.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: Right, yeah, yeah, And I think that sometimes, like because
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: because we're in a patriarchal society, sometimes men, you know,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: want to reduce women to these things, and now we're
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: so much We've always been so much more right, but
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: we get to express it way more nowadays, you know,
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: within the last I don't know, fifty years or so,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: I guess, I don't know. I think just just setting
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: standards for like mutual effort. You should not be doing
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: more than he's willing to do for you, right that way,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: you won't.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Have shake it in the air, like put money in it, babe,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: just take my person in the air, I have to ask,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: So, So here are some of the cons right when
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: you're doing wifey things without being a wife or not
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: being in a committed relationship, sometimes there is a lack
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 3: of clarity. You're doing all the work without any title,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: legal security, or mutual commitment, so you're basically playing wifey
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: without any real progression in the relationship. So people you
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: know often say, well, what's the benefit of being married, Like, yeah, yes,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: you are signing paperwork right under the law, because you
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: really can be married to somebody under the eyes of
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: God today or tomorrow. Technically, in the Bible, if we've
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: had sex without a condom, you my man, I'm your wife,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: like it is what it is.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: So how many how many husbands you got?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Bitch zero, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: A bite, I've been married a few times in life
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: based on the Bible. Okay, yeah, because you are you
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: when you have, especially with somebody without a condom and
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: stuff like that, man, you're.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: Sharing their DNA, Like when you're.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: Trying to figure out, like why you just got all
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: this mental instability, it's probably because you go led to
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: me people in that pussy without a condom on it, right,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: So you just sharing all all his energy them STDs
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 3: them sexually transmitted to demons like yeah, and now you're
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: just feeling confused. So y'all could be super sexually liberated
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: if you want to, but it comes with a lot
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: of consequences.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: Another con can be emotional exhaustion. Given more than your
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: receiving can lead to resentment and burnout. We said that, right,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: So you do did all the shit in the girlfriend's stage.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: By the time you get to be a wife, you're like, man,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: I'm sick of this nigga, I am so sick of him.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Or then you be like, and then he'd be like,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: you changed soon as we got married, you.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Changed, right, and usually it we do change, right. The
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: man actually been the same the whole time. He'd been
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: not doing nothing. Now you mad because you're tired of
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: having to do everything.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: Mm hm.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: So if you if you're not doing it because you
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: actually enjoy it and you actually love this person and
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: like this is this is your love language, like showing
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: up in this way for someone, don't do it.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: You will experience burnout. You will be resentful.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: In the in the in the relationship or in the marriage.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: You're gonna you're gonna be getting mad. It says an
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: unsustainable precedent. It says, it says, uh, he may expect
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: that level of care without giving anything back may delay
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: or eliminate his his urgency to commit. So you know
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 3: that trope like why by the cow when the milk
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: is free? Yeah, okay, so that's that's a thing. I
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: feel like women need to. There are a lot of
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: I don't want to even call them selfish women because
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: maybe that's the cheak code. I always say.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: Men like mean women because they mamas be fucking mean.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: So women, what women? Men? A lot of men are
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: literally sons of bitches. So you coming in here being
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: nice and sweet. He can't even believe a bitch could
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: be like this and really mean it. He can't even
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: be even like, oh my god, Like he doesn't even
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: believe you're this sweet.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: Imagine that.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: So he ends up with somebody who's treating him like
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: shit because that's really what he's used to, because he's
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: not healed.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: Not most men. You feel like that's most men.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: Man, you haven't been with something well, I won't say
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: most men, but the relationships I've been in, it's like,
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: I never want to be with anybody that I can
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: easily disrespect. But as to that point of being disrespectful,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: it seems like their ears and eyes open up like
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: they all of a sudden are like, oh, they understand me,
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: they get me.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 4: So when I was talking regularly, got fuck in there.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: So let's impact that. Why do you think that you
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: are attracting this same characteristic.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: Because I'm very nurturing, Like I said, they sons of bitches,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: right I am?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: I am?
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: I am very nurturing in a relationship until I'm not right,
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: So I think that's what the initial attraction is.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: So I attrack these people who.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Are kind of not needy, but maybe they have like
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: fucked up relationships with their moms.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 4: And here I am being a mama.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: So mommy niggas, my nigga call.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: Me mama the fuck and I'd be like, I'm not
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: your mom.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: So what do you think we could do moving forward
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: to not invite that same energy?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: You gotta be like you, You gotta be kind of selfish, right,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: You can't expose all.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 4: You can't even listen.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 3: If you know how to give a super duper cock
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: cock four thousand, you're only giving him one thousand until
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: you get the ring, and you don't show him the
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: four thousand until the night of the wedding. Like, we
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: gotta hold some things back. We can't give all of
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: ourselves when we get in relationships with men, we can't
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: let them know how spectacul we really are. You can
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: give them like you can let them know, but like spearingly,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: every once in a while, I'm gonna show this nigga
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: how amazing I am. There's too many rules, as not
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: too many rules, because you don't want to end up
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: doing these things.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 4: I guess the discernment.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: Part comes in, right, no, know your personnel, know who
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 3: it is that you're doing these things for. Okay, if
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: there's no confusion, he's treating like a queen all those things.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna do all those things regardless. All of that
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: is happen is happening regardless. But then you know, matter
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: of fact, I'll do listen to reverse of this. I
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: was dating a guy and I sent him this post
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: on Instagram because he did all the boyfriend things but
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: didn't want the commitment. And he was like, that's just
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: how I am. Like I don't know how to be
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: no other way. But when it comes to like, okay,
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: what were we doing? Like I want to be married,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: I want to have a baby, Like, what's up in mind?
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: You?
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: He already had two kids, right, So I would be like,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: you're gonna end up with a woman who already at
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 3: our age, whoever you do decide to marry, if you
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: actually ever want to be married, that person will already
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: have kids. Why not marry me and let's just have
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: a kid together, and like, let this be the kid
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: you actually like, are with the mom because you got
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: two baby mamas. So he didn't want, No, he didn't, don't.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: I really don't believe he wants the responsibility of additional children, right,
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: But if you get in a relationship with somebody who
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: has kids, you're responsible for that woman and those kids anyway, right,
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: So pick either pick a household of one of these
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: women that you've had a child with, Pick one of
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: those households, or actually build a strong, real foundation with
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: somebody else. And maybe it's my fault for even fucking
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: with a man who has kids, but dog, it's real
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: hard to find anybody right now who does not have
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: any kids. Like, as much as men like to look
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 3: at women's sideways for not having kids and being a
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: certain age, when you get with these men who don't
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: have kids and who haven't been like in a committed
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: relationship in a long time, you kind of see why
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Nigga might be socially awkward and weird stuff be going on.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: Why he hasn't been picked either. Men just have a
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: lot of options why we don't get picked.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: I remember I was talking to this basketball player, right
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: lit basketball player, and we were at my house and
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: he was sitting on a bar stool and I came
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: up to him and I was like hogging him and
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: he looks up. He just was awkward. All right, he
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: is like come to banner. It was awkward. And then
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: so I was like, all right, I'm gonna walk away
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: and go sit down. And when I turned to walk away,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: he literally tackled me onto the automan. It was so bizarre.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, get off. Some people would just be
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: weird and awkward and just having social cues and social
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: skills and bruh, you can go to doc by two thousand.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: Why would you do that? I was just in your face, like.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: Why are you horse playing with a woman?
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: I'm talking my heart down And he's a big, tall ass,
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: grown as man, and he literally tackled me. What the
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: get out? Now?
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: You see if there be real weirdos, I do want
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: to study that though.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 4: I want to you said, is not a thing.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: But there has to be a study out there as
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: to why women choose men who already got children. It
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: has to be something that we subconsciously think that this
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 3: person like. We don't, it's not on the forefront of
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: our minds, right, But he's attractive for some reason, and
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: it's maybe because he can produce. There is clear indication
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: that he's a producer. It's more on an animalistic level,
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: not really human, right, because human like I won't even
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: say that, because a lot of these niggas are in
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: cells right involuntarily celibate. And if we were in the wild,
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 3: women would always stole choose the man who can produce
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 3: like and who could take care of her in her offspring.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: Is that is what our job is, to pick the best.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 3: Suitor, right, So it'd be a lot of men that
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: would die never having had ever had sex if we
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 3: were actually in the wild and picking mates like we're
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: supposed to.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 4: Dying.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: Can't got kids all over the place. And guess what
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: the women hunt and gather. People be thinking that the
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: man be hunting together. No, it's the women, the lion,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: the female lion that does it. He just be rested
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: and whatever, it's time to fight, he coming to fight.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: He's the protector. Everything else the women does, the woman does.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: And that's really how it is in our society. We
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: just hate it. We just don't like it.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the same shit, Yeah, exact same shit.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: So we keep asiding these roles to masculinity that just
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: may not be their role.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: You know why Cleaning the bathroom.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: Kide, Okay, give me the money because I don't want
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: to do it either.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 4: I don't want to clean somebody else's dirt. I hate it.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 4: I will clean little people dirt, but big people dirt
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 4: is different.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: Your partner, Yes, I don't like it. You literally will
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: take this person in your mouth.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: I barely like that you're talking about. You know me,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: You do know me the right, you know. I barely
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: But you'll do it, you know, so clean that bathroom?
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think. Let's just the takeaways from this. Right,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 3: It is okay to do those things if that's who
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: you truly are. Now, if you're doing it with an
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: arterial art, oh my god, I cannot talkterial motive. Right,
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: You're wanting something else, may be commitment hand in marriage,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: like if you're doing it for anything, any reason other
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 3: than this is what you like to do your your you.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 3: This is one of your love languages. Right, This is
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: how you show up for people. It just comes natural
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: to you. But if you're doing it for any other reason,
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: you actually weren't being deceitful. Right. And then women, you
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: say it's a burnout by the time you get the marriage.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: But did you only do those things to get married?
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: And now you're like, that's not really me haha.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: I think some people feel it like it's an obligation,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: like this is a part of this is my contribution.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: Do I like doing it? No, but this is how
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: I contribute to this thing that I'm in. Right.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember the same guy who bathroom I would
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: clean and stuff because I wanted to be comfortable. I
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 3: remember visiting him again like when we you know, wasn't
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: fucking around, and I'm.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 4: Like, who are you fucking with? Because why is she old?
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: Like I know, there's what kind of women are you
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: fucking with that allowed us bathroom look like? Because the
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 3: shit was looking like it had never been cleaned since
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: the last time I cleaned it. So what type of
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: woman are you dealing with that allows this?
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: Right? That's gonna lay up in here and use this
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: nasty bathroom.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: Yes, like what is happening? So yeah, I And then
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: it's about upbringing a lot of people that saw the
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: bathroom was as a kid. You know what I'm saying,
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: They were probably raised by people who didn't. Don't think
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: that's Germany. I'm a germophobe. Like I just be like,
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: my pussy is open, it's like an open wound. Stuff's
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: gonna get in there.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: You got a wide set vagina, dr shut.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 3: Up your pussy open too, like it's a it's flesh,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 3: it's not closed like a penis.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: So you want to eat this koochie off of this
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 4: dirty toilet?
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: Okay? So I don't know, but be clear about your
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: relationship goals and how much you're willing to invest upfront. Right,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: So that's the first thing you gotta do to set
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: the boundaries essentially, and ask a lot of questions, are
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: we building towards towards me marriage.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 4: Or we're just vibing what we doing?
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: And usually if the man if yeah, absolutely, but usually
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 3: if the man is at this age shah girl, first date,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: ask all the questions and if he's not for you,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: if you just too much for him. Then you'll get
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: rid of him early before you even use your gucci up.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: Okay, he ain't for you.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: But I'd be feeling like some of the questions, like
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: you gotta just gradually ask him, because sometimes if you
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: ask too many questions on the first day, it becomes
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: like an interview.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 3: And but y'all both supposed to be asking questions. It's
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 3: nothing he need to know about you.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: No motherfucker get these jokes.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: See, Look, you know what I'm saying there. You have
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of nuance. There's a lot of things about
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: you that somebody may or may not like.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 4: So we should we both parties should.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: Be exchanging information. You should be getting to know each
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 3: other in those first couple dates.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 3: But when you go straight to fucking and not dating,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 3: you know, you gotta know that's the relationship dynamic at
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: that point, right, Okay, And it says signs that it
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: might be toxic one sided work plans, love.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: Dating your peers, and they think I'm supposed to be
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: fucking as fast as y'all, and I don't appreciate it
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: because I'm.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 3: Not no more. Because there was a time in life
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 3: it wasn't for it was for me, Like I really
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 3: wasn't even thinking about the man in that point, Like
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: that was me being selfish. I wanted to fuck. That's
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 3: why I like hauling that man, because you get exactly
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 3: who you want and what you want. I don't be
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: waiting for nobody to try to talk to me. If
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 3: I like you, I'm trying to hauler at your ass first.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 4: Me too, so you get what you want.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 3: The fuck you're sitting there waiting for a man to
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 3: haller at you if you want to, You're gonna keep
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: getting toads because they like you, get you a man
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 3: and you like.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 4: Anyway. Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 3: To each his own right, I am guilty of doing
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 3: wifely things, but it would probably be in a dynamic
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 3: where I'm living with a man, right, I'm not going
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: to somebody else's house on a regular basis and cleaning
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 3: the shit up the times that I have had to
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 3: do that because usually I date pretty clean men like
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 3: I'm that's I am.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 4: Actually I had to.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: Go revise my whole, you know, my manifestation for a
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: man thing, right, because I need somebody who takes as
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 3: many showers as I do. I need someone like who
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 3: puts shit up when they're done with it, you know, like, yeah,
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 3: I recognize that.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: You sure you don't want you a bitch?
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: No, because I've dated men. My daddy's like that, and
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: I have dated some men. They probably had a little
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 3: other little shit I was sick of. But I definitely
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 3: have dating men who keep their house in pristine order.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 4: And I was.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 3: It was a joy in being over there rubbing my
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 3: motherfucking feet together underneath them clean sheets. Yes, I have right,
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 3: but you ain't gonna always get what you want. But
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 3: cleanliness is like real high on the top of my list,
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 3: real real high.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's fair. I don't want no nasty nigga, but
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: if it's my nigga, I'll make sure the house is clean.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: Don't be the nigga who like your shirt on the
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: floor next to the laundry basket that pisses me off.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: Just put it in there. It's right there. But it
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: ain't got to be perfect. You ain't got to be perfect. Longest,
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: are my flaws balance your flaws? Like what I'm lacking,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: you providing what you're lacking. I'm providing. I'm okay with it.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, nigga told me i'd be having weave at the floorboard.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 4: You know what I do.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 3: I make sure there's no weave at the floorboard, so
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 3: that couldn't be a complaint anymore. And he was only
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 3: using that as an example because I was complaining about
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 3: some shit he was doing.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: Right, He was like, I don't be complaining about your weed.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 3: Got it up.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 4: Guess what. Let me make sure that's never a complain
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: because you only gotta tell me one time.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: Mm hm.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 3: As an adult, you only have to tell me something
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 3: bothers you one time. I'm gonna try my hardest to
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 3: never have to let you critique me in that way again.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna fix it, but I feel like if I
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 3: gotta keeping something, I'm gonna.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: Pop you.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: Like a child.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna pop you like a baby. You're not fucking listening.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 4: And I only expect to repeat myself to fucking kids anyway.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 4: Y'all keep doing y'all wifely shit.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, if that's what you think you gotta do
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 3: to get the ring, I'm here to tell you that
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: ship don't fucking work. You gonna be mad, okay, be
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: a bitch.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: No do the wifely thing mean? You know how they
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: say don't dress for the job. You have, dress for
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: the job you want. That's what you gotta do. Man.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 4: I think you should just be the person you want, right,
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 4: so focus on that first.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean you want.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, y'all go ahead to y'all things. Whatever the
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: fuck y'all feel like doing your relationships. That's your business.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 3: But don't be mad if you don't get the outcome
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 3: you're looking for. So so y'all enjoyed this episode. Y'all
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: tune in every Thursday in the Black Effect. I heeart
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 3: Radio app wherever the fuck you get your podcast at?
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 4: Tell me over here producing wrap it out.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: Bitch, wrap it up.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 3: Bitch. You said that three times. Y'all don it every
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 3: Thursday and the Black Effect. I heard Radio Apple, Where
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 3: the fuck you get your podcast at? This your co
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 3: host Aja Holiday two point on Instagram.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: Skick of Tam y'all's official Tam Bama on Instagram. Y'all
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: follow me now. We are still looking for interns. If
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: you're interested, We need some more. We need a gang
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: of y'all, So y'all send us your your resumes to
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: we talk back E and T at gmail dot com.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: We are looking for you, and we welcome you. Hmm.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: If you got what it takes, remember speak.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 3: Now and hold the motherfucking wifely duties until you actually
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: know it's your husband in front of you, Until you
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 3: know that's your husband.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 4: Hold hold on a little bit, Just hold on a
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 4: little bit.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: Do some of that ship.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: Bye y'all.