Latest / Generation F Podcast / Episode 11: Grappling with Technology (feat Jayce)

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Episode 11: Grappling with Technology (feat Jayce) · Generation F Podcast

• Isaiah: Like down check because last episode I feel as if ⁓ there was almost like a clicking noise. I don't know if you heard that. jayce: Uh-huh. I did not know. Isaiah: Like what happens if I turn this knob? What does that do? jayce: you sound like you're a little closer to a mic. Isaiah: What about what about now? jayce: same thing. Isaiah: Further. jayce: Same thing. Isaiah: What about now? What does that do? jayce: kind of like muffles it a little bit. Isaiah: All right, what about now? So sharpen it. jayce: Little bit, Isaiah: I feel like I'm at a optometrist. Alright, what ⁓ what does this do? What does that do? jayce: Same thing. Isaiah: Muffles it. jayce: Yeah, I'm not really hearing any difference. Isaiah: Okay. I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to like not have so much sensitivity in the background. Hold on, let me take care of the cats, right? Yeah. All right. Just be careful my setup. All right. I he just wants to say hi to Jace. I know. Hi, Jace. This is Milo. jayce: What's up, Milo? Isaiah: All right. So a couple of you know ground rules before we're getting started. Normally I'll pray us in. That's just a way of kind of getting our heads straight. see I can't s on loud enough. Does that sound better? Does that sound better? Hotter. jayce: Sounds the same. Isaiah: All right, I hear more my headset though. So we'll I'll pray us in. I have a little bit of a template here. You know, I'll kinda go over a general introduction as this being like a bonus episode. I don't have a title for it yet, but I'll give a general introduction to you. Very general. I mean, honestly, I'm probably gonna have you give yourself like an own introduction, but I'll kinda give you the framework of how the interview slash testimony is gonna be. You know, so we have one, two, three, four, f maybe like five like bullet points, like Kind of going over like a telling of like where you were before you got into whether you call it the new age or anything like esoteric, just kind of giving the audience like an understanding of maybe your childhood, if there was any faith in your childhood, maybe you went to church when you were a little kid and you didn't. Just give like these like very basic you know, pictures, if you will. ⁓ you know, like, know, what were you like growing up? You know, were you searching for something? Did something happen to you? ⁓ you know, feel free to go in in as in depth as possible. ⁓ and then, you know, the next section is gonna be kind of like entering like new age or spirituality. Kind of go into like what was that shift? Maybe you had like an incident that made you look for answers and then you kind of had certain things that you're doing to kind of find a spiritual practice. ⁓ and I can edit a lot of these things. So if you get stuck, I'll just kind of tell you ⁓ the ther jayce: All right. Isaiah: The third components kind of like beliefs and practices, like, you know, how how did you view God, spirituality, like like what was the things that you you you did, right? ⁓ and then the next poll point's gonna be, you know, when did you realize like something had to change? Like when did things stop satisfying you? Was there some kind of an incident that just kind of caused a shift, right? ⁓ and then like the last point is kind of like returning to faith or you know, where are you now kind of thing. You know, and and and the biggest thing I want the audience to kind of hear is that you're an unfinished work, right? Where the you know, you're not ⁓ some kind of missionary in Uganda, like you just you're figuring it out, right? you know, like I want like relatable people, you know, where it's like jayce: Yeah. Yeah. Isaiah: know, hey, like I c I came from this, you know, Jesus is in my life, but I still struggle with X, Y, and Z. ⁓ you know, and some a couple of things that I wanna kinda keep is our between two gens is, you know, I wanna start to talk about, you know, as a as a Gen Z, you know, like, you know, what are some things that really kinda led you, you know, to the new age? Because, you know, when I was younger, you know, I got led into the new age as well, but I think that there might be some generational differences in the sense that I didn't have TikTok when I was growing up. I didn't have certain things, you know, so I wanna kinda have that kind of comparison. ⁓ and then essentially just kind of tying that up with any questions, but also you know, things that you're unsure of. Because w one of the things that I really like about this podcast is I don't want to have answers, I wanna have questions. You know, so I I want this to be like a very question based ⁓ podcast where I don't I don't have like the the textbook answer to everything. I'm not a theologian. ⁓ you know, I'm not Wes Huff. So it's just trying to figure out like how do we just kind of work through these things and have the audience understand that ⁓ we don't have it together, right? Does that kind of make sense? Okay. jayce: Yep. Yeah. And you said you can edit stuff out, right? Like this isn't all just one take. Okay. Isaiah: Yeah, yes. No, yeah. So it like if you ever listen to any of our podcasts, like I've I've cut like thirty minutes from most of them, like not all of it gets to the cutting room floor. Yeah, so I'm gonna pray this in and then ⁓ we'll get started and it'll be pretty pretty organic. ⁓ you know, I'm pretty good at just kind of leading it. All right. jayce: Okay. Alright. Isaiah: All right. Lord Jesus, we ⁓ we thank you for this this time to struggle with words and just be unsure of how we're supposed to use our testimony and just give us the wisdom to say the things that we need to say and understanding to s to say the things that we don't need to say. And just allow us to have a a clear and clean speech. Something that could be edifying to both young and old and something that still gets the point across and shows ⁓ you know, people where Jace came from, but also where he is right now and the work that you're doing in his life. And we pray in your holy name. Amen. All right. So we'll get started. Welcome to the Generation F podcast. This is Isaiah speaking with a bonus episode. I have today with me ⁓ our guest for the evening by ⁓ his name is Jace. He's actually the ⁓ younger gentleman that helped me troubleshoot the episode 10's issue with ⁓ not realizing how to operate a mic. So we have him we have him in the flesh. You know, he's gonna go through some of his jayce: you Isaiah: ⁓ you know, testimony very similar to Erie's episode back in I believe episode seven. ⁓ you know, with tonight, you know, it's kind of like ⁓ not a solo cast, but ⁓ we don't have Phil or Maddie on tonight. So it will just kind of be me and Jace going back and forth. ⁓ you know, a couple things that we want to kinda cover, you know, in this episode is, you know, again where Jace, you know, ⁓ you know, comes from, you know, some things that he's kind of wrestled with. trying to find his own ⁓ faith, you know, as a younger a younger youth in this generation, but then using some scripture that I have prepared for this episode just to kind of create some more questions or answer some of the things that will be talked about this evening. So without further ado, Jace, how are you this evening? jayce: I'm good man, how are you? Isaiah: Very good, very good. ⁓ if you want to give the audience just ⁓ awesome. Yeah, if you want to give the audience just like a background, ⁓ you know, you don't have to give a life story, but you know, let the audience kind of get to know ⁓ you know, where you come from, you know, what are some things that ⁓ kind of brought you to this ⁓ you know, this this path, if you will. jayce: Glad to be on. All right. ⁓ I'm 23. I've always, always lived in PA. I would say I come from a pretty normal family, you know, dad, mom, two brothers. have an older brother and a little brother. ⁓ I did not grow up religious at all. I actually remember being a pretty arrogant atheist along with my older brother. I remember him. This is like kind of the first thing I remember about religion. We went to my. Green Pup-Pup's funeral. And we either went to church before or after, I forget what it was, but I remember all my cousins, were all, they all did their communion. They all grew up Catholic. And me and my older brother were the only ones that weren't kind of forced into it. My mom and dad just kind of let us figure it out ourselves. And I remember going up to the altar to take the communion and I like put my hand out wrong and. I guess it was the priest. I'm not sure. I'm not Catholic, so I don't know what fully goes on in there, but he kind of was like, what are you doing? And I was, I must've been four or five years old at the time and it was super embarrassing and everybody was looking at me. I just had no idea what it was. I put my hand out wrong. didn't, I didn't take the, the little cracker in the right way. So I kinda, at that point, I kind of like shut it out of my life and I remember my older brother telling me, he's a pretty smart dude. He's a little, we grew up super atheist, me and him, not my mom and dad, but I remember him telling me, we were talking about the Bible and he was telling me that religion was a way to separate the entire world. And I remember just carrying that with me my entire life, not my entire life, but up until about ninth or 10th grade. So all the way through middle school. So yeah, that's pretty much my background with religion. But as far as me as a person, would say I was a little troubled growing up. I was a naughty kid, if you will. That's what my mom would say. I've been, ⁓ I got, I guess you could say kicked out of kindergarten, first grade. And I had to go to, they called it first grade and a half, I guess to make me feel better about it. They said I was immature. So that was like my first time really getting in trouble. I just kind of had like, ⁓ I would say anger issues. I was breaking pencils and like throwing my paper and I would, when I would feel like I was dumb, not getting questions right on stuff. And so that was like my first, I would say like big thing in my life was, was leaving that school. And then I went to the other school, which was kind of like my first. experience with like an alternative school because I was in a small classroom. It wasn't special education, but it was like I would say it was a troubled kid classroom. And then. ⁓ Kind of that's like rinse and repeat for a while. would have a good year and then I'd have a bad year and have a good year and then I have a bad year. But in fifth grade is when I started taking psychiatric meds for the first time. They always said that I would have ADHD. So I was super hyper. I do still think I have it to this day, but I started taking a concerta and that's when stuff really started to go downhill. Started you know my confidence was drained a little bit from having to take this stuff And also hearing all the time that you know you're not gonna be able to pay attention you need this you need this and I just remember Taking that stuff and throwing it down the sink Because I feel like even at a young age even when I was an atheist I feel like God still had his hand over me, and he knew that you know that that stuff wasn't for me So I began in trouble throwing it down the sink every now and then catch me or or I'd get a call home and she'd be like what's going on and I would just tell her I'm not taking it anymore so Yeah, I mean, that pretty much sums up how I grew up, just being troubled and call homes every day. Not every day, but quite frequently. Isaiah: You had said that, ⁓ I think you said ninth grade was when things started to change a little bit, you know, between fifth and ninth grade, was was there specific instances in your life that escalated to create, you know, a further separation? ⁓ maybe not even just with faith, but just with reality. Like what were some things that happened that caused you to get to a place where you maybe found that you were in need of something a little bit more you know, outside of the physical realm? jayce: Well, switched out of, so I guess I should start from sixth grade because that's when I had a little bit more friends, but I was still super troubled. a ⁓ lot of my good friends, I'm still friends with to this day would, you know, their moms were calling other moms telling them like, don't let your kid hang out with Jace. He's going to be a bad kid. I remember a teacher and I won't say, I won't say the name of the school, but I remember her sitting down with my teacher and made this a teacher I didn't even have. And I just remember her asking me like, like, your parents even have jobs? I remember telling my mom that she called the school and she was not, she was not happy with that. So I was kind of like, I was that kid, but in sixth or in seventh grade, I moved to middle school. So I started integrating with the other school. Cause they, they like joined schools to go to the middle school. So I started to get around more kids and. I felt like it was a fresh start. I could, I was getting my fresh start and all the stuff that I left at in elementary school was, it was a pass. So I did pretty good in seventh grade. played football. I was pretty normal. My grades were okay. I was still like a, a class clown, I would say, but I had a loose mouth. I would talk a lot and Isaiah, you know, and I would get in trouble for it a lot, you know, cracking jokes and just being annoying. But, ⁓ Seventh grade, this could be personal, but ⁓ seventh grade, I was in like a pretty normal friend group. was friends with the athletes, but I had this one friend that at the end of seventh grade, he hit a vape and everybody, kind of like split the friend group in half because everyone was like, I don't want to hang out with that kid. He's bad news. And I just felt like I had no interest in that stuff at all at the time. but I felt like I wanted to be a good friend, so I stuck by his side. I kind of lost all my friends and I would say I started hanging out with. At the time it was probably not the best crowd. They weren't really bad kids, but you know, they were being stupid. So eighth grade was actually when I started being dumb and, started, started smoking weed, started vaping, started drinking. And then, ⁓ yeah, so that was kind of, kind of, I wouldn't say it was an everyday thing, but it was just something that we look forward to on the weekends. And I, kind of started taking the fun out of. you know, being a normal kid, because it was always like, like, when are we going to get high? When are we going to get high? Which is crazy to think about because, you know, I have a little brother that's in eighth grade now and I just can't even imagine him doing that stuff. So it was crazy to think about my young brain indulging in that stuff. But ninth grade, I had a little friend group that that's what we did. We got high and we, they were a bunch of skateboarders. So you just chill outside of abandoned stores. They would skate and I would just sit in the back and get high. ⁓ ninth grade, towards the end of the year, I say it was in like March or April, we made the smart idea to buy some psychedelics. I'm not sure how, I really, I've thought about this a lot, how we made that decision. It was probably from watching YouTube videos, just like cool YouTube videos about psychedelics, which is crazy, but. We all took it, was like five of us, we all took some and that's when stuff started getting weird for all of us and we all kind of fell backwards. Isaiah: wanna put a pause in that 'cause I feel like that's when the story starts to kind of unfold. leading up into that point, you know, was there something that you feel that you were searching for at a younger age or something that you're running away from? You know, 'cause you know, when I was younger, one of the reasons why I started to use ⁓ and also just kind of hang out with different crowds of people was looking for ⁓ you know, role models or father figures or or people in my life that ⁓ you know, weren't present, you know, so like there was some kind of ⁓ you know, youthful like trying to trying to kind of figure out like how do I make up for what I don't have, you know. So like do you feel like that was something that you had, or were you just like ⁓ peer pressured and just kind of experiencing that? jayce: Honestly, I don't know because like I do come from a very normal family like my mom and my dad are nurses. My older brother's a nurse. You know, my older brother is a great, great student, good role model. Like I didn't have any bad role models in my life. Uh, my mom's side of the family is, is pretty troubled a lot of drug addiction and jail time and stuff like that. So I, not sure if it's genetic, but I guess I just felt like something was missing and the friend group that I did end up going into, like a lot of them did not have a father figure in the household. I'm not sure why, because you know, my, my dad is a great dad and I've never felt like I haven't had that, but I guess from, you know, being excluded out of, you know, many friend groups for how I acted, I don't think I was a bad kid, but like, you know, I was just. Not the kid that you would want your kid to hang out with. I didn't take school serious. I was always joking around. was, you know, like wetting up paper towels in the bathroom, throwing them all over the walls, like stupid stuff. So I understand why, but I guess from being excluded out of all of those groups, I've, felt some type of way towards like, like normalcy. Cause I was hanging out with, you know, a lot of athletes and they were too, they were too normal for me. which is weird to say, but I guess I started hanging out with this new group and my mom, she would call us the misfits. all had long hair. We all like, you know, they wore baggy clothes. didn't dress serious. We always showed up to school smelling like weed. So I'm not sure if I felt like I was missing something. I guess it was just appealing to have like the freedom. Cause my mom and dad were very on my case all the time. You know, they weren't, if they would drop me off at a house, they'd have to go walk up to the door, talk to the parents, you know, like normal, normal parent stuff that you should be doing. But, you know, once I got around these kids, had the, they had the leash off. It was just free rein, just running around town and doing whatever we wanted. So I guess when I got that, that taste of freedom, I just had to run with it. Isaiah: Yeah, thank you for that background. And kind of going back into you know, the first time you were going into psychedelics and again you don't have to go into specific details. ⁓ I think the audience can kind of gather a lot from general ⁓ descriptions, but you know, where do you kind of see that escalating into ⁓ spirituality or ⁓ some of the practices that you may have had, you know, with the use of psychedelics, if you could just kinda paint that picture. jayce: Yeah, I started getting into like a niche part of YouTube that would talk about drugs. I would, I was listening, I would always listen to this recovering addict that I can see now that he was kind of glorifying it. He called himself a poly addict or something. forget, like multiple drugs. He would talk about multiple types of drugs. And I just started watching all these videos on it. and getting into the psychedelic realm of the 60s. And they would talk about meeting entities and all this crazy stuff. And I was hooked on it. thought it was so cool. And it kind of just led me down a spiral. Because I've always been interested in old religion and the old civilizations, but I was an atheist. I did not believe that anything in that realm existed at all. I was know indulging in it. I would say I did it about 10 or 11 times in one year which is crazy because I was like 15 years old I didn't realize that I was doing a lot of damage to my brain my growing brain so I never had like those experiences where you see those things because I was always I was always scared of it but these YouTube videos kind of enhanced like my interest in that realm. So I started just diving down that rabbit hole mixed with, you know, being stupid. And then COVID was around the corner that next year. So I did pretty good in 10th grade. I stopped doing that stuff because it scared the crap out of me. I remember just freaking out my room and I wanted to run into my dad's room to tell him like, this is what I'm on and I want to go to the hospital. I was freaking out. So I ended up just like walking around the neighborhood and sweating it off, it lasts like six or seven hours. So I was freaking out for a while, but after that, I was like, I'm never doing that again. That scared me. all the 10th grade, kind of just, you know, I started wrestling in the beginning of 10th grade, but you know, can't show up to, know, wrestling is a super demanding sport and I was showing up high. every practice, you know, throwing up on the ground after just, could not handle it. And I kind of just, I quit that right away. I joined in like August and I was off the team by maybe October. So I kind of just had free reign for that year. And my brother left, went to, ⁓ he went to college and he came up with this idea that I should move in with him when, that when I, when I get out of school. So I was gonna live with him for a senior year. So I kind of was just like, okay, I gotta get good grades and I gotta really care about school. So I kind of just went crazy on school for a year. But then COVID hit that March and then I just had free rein. And that's when stuff really got bad. Isaiah: Do you feel like seguing back to ⁓ a lot of like the YouTube rabbit holes that you were going on, do you feel like you were trying to look for certain like answers or things that, you know, maybe you know you didn't even think to ask before? You know, like was there was there something like pulling you in or you know, promising you information that you felt like you weren't receiving from society? jayce: Not yet. would say COVID is when that stuff started really hitting me when I, when I guess I had my, what I called back then, like my awakening. But during that time, I guess it was like opening my eyes at like, there is something else out there. Like I really didn't believe that the brain just spawned that, that crazy stuff in your head, you know, like deities and all this stuff that I was hearing. So I guess it kind of opened the spiritual door, but no, I didn't have any. any awakening at all until I met another friend group in COVID. Isaiah: Yeah, I wanna put a pin in that conversation because we are gonna kinda transition to that. But there is a a scripture that I have prepared for tonight ⁓ that kind of segues pretty well to that idea. it's more so talking about like the invisible qualities in reality that ⁓ might draw us to to them because they are things that God put in our hearts to search for, right? ⁓ so we have here in the book of Romans, right? Romans is towards the end of the Bible. It's like one of the last few ⁓ books really ⁓ written by Paul. ⁓ you know, what I have is Romans chapter one. It's gonna be just six verses ⁓ twenty through twenty-six. And I'm reading this in my children's Bible, so if you're reading at home, some of the words might not line up all the way, but it's the same message. So we have here it says And this is Paul basically talking to the people of Rome, right? The church in Rome. He says, There are things about God that people cannot see, his eternal power and all the things that make him God. But since the beginning of the world, those things have been easy to understand. They are made clear by what God has made. So people have no excuse for the bad things they do. They knew God, but they did not give glory to God and they did not thank him. Their thinking became useless, their foolish minds were filled with darkness. They said they were wise, but they became fools. They gave up the glory of God who lives forever. They traded that glory for the worship of idols made to look like earthly people. They traded glory, ⁓ I'm sorry, they traded God's glory for things that look like birds, animals, and snakes. So God left them to follow their evil desires, and they made one another's bodies impure by what they did. I'm gonna kind of stop there. You know, because one of the things that I kind of see here and in other translations, you'll see Paul talk about people worshiping the the creatures, not the creator, right? Or in some other translations it will talk about the idea that in the in the New Age or just spiritualism, even, you know, in my opinion, psychedelic, ⁓ jayce: Yep. Isaiah: practices become a like a new age spiritualism because it it attracts a lot of things from different sources, right? You're looking for ascension, you're looking for these different ⁓ concepts to kind of gravit gravitate to that explain the things that you see and experience on certain drugs. But, you know, we're constantly trying to replicate things that are in our heart that are put there for a specific reason. They're put there as a a drawing mechanism for us to go and And wrestle with God and and and try and develop that faith. What do you feel when you hear that scripture, Jace? Is there something that resonates with you or? jayce: Yeah, I think now that I have a more mature mindset on it that I could sit back and see from overhead that like, this is what this is a tool that God was using to bring me to him. Like the group that I was around and what I was doing. I mean, it completely broke me. So I did end up after I stopped doing that stuff. I, this is what drew me to like self progression. So I feel like. Yeah, it was the enemy but God was letting it I was letting it fall through for a reason I see why now I Didn't at the time but I do now definitely Isaiah: Yeah, and that's an interesting distinction that a l a lot of people may not quite understand. But there are a lot of instances in the new in the New Testament, but also in the old where, you know, we are allowed to go through things to experience hardships for us later to come to the realization that we need God, right? ⁓ so it isn't uncommon for us to have this notion that even though you probably entered an even harder time, ⁓ you jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: It was actually mercy, right? It was it was a way of you to go through this next chapter that you're probably gonna talk about. And it was enough to break you enough to realize the things that were actually absent in your life. ⁓ you know, so with that being said, if you wanna continue talking about that. jayce: Yeah, I would say, ⁓ just before we get into that, I would say around ninth grade is when I started getting depressed for the first time. I had like no idea what that was. You know, I would get sad, but like, you know, two weeks just laying in bed, not being able to get out. had no idea what was going on. I guess my, you know, my brain was definitely reliant on weed for, for happiness for awhile. So when I, I was kind of in like a broken place after I decided. know, I'm not going to do this anymore. And then I had that, that first year of high school. ⁓ so I knew, you know, like, like what darkness was, but after, you know, COVID hit, then I was just home alone all the time. I wasn't going to school at all. I kind of just threw the dream away of living with my brother. Cause you know, I'm not good at online school. I did have good grades that first year of high school. But once the online school started, I didn't show up to class. didn't log on to the team stuff, which is like an online school classroom. I wasn't going to that at all. So I kind of was just thrown all my dreams out. I wasn't physically active anymore because there was no sports going on. And then my cousin moved in with us. So that was even more just smoking weed all the time, but doing nothing. Like it was just smoking weed and. playing Call of Duty Warzone all day, me, my cousin, my brother. And with no physical activity and doing that all day, you know, just gets bad. So I got caught a few times smoking in the house and my mom and dad were just getting sick of it. So that's when I started running away. And that's when I would say stuff picked up a lot. was running away to, you know, I had a new, I would say a new friend group at the time that was like, maybe like 30 people is a lot of people I started hanging out with the kids from the other high schools and a lot of those I would say was more of the girls. They were like wrapped up into the social media, new age religion that they were pumping through our feeds and you know, they always had like crystals and they were drawing mushrooms on the walls and stuff like all the mushroom are and. ⁓ reading tarot cards, all this stuff. was like, what? I thought it was stupid when I first came in, but I remember just kind of verbalizing like what I was going through, like saying that, you know, stuff was getting dark. And one of them, I forget who it was. It was either a guy or a girl. have no idea. I don't remember. But one of them said, you know, everything happens for a reason. And I don't know why, but it hit me like so hard. It sounds like, like a corny quote, but I like, that's when I found that there was like a higher power. Cause I knew that the things in my life were, it was like a, you know, a puppet master was pulling strings. And I finally was realizing that like the people that I was meeting, who I was around that I was learning more about myself. And that's when I started, you know, talking to at the time I called it the universe. ⁓ but that's when I started like, getting into self-progression, actually trying to make myself better. say that was the turning point. Isaiah: Yeah, during that period of time you were wrestling with the idea of there being a god, I would say, where you hadn't defined you didn't define him yet, and you were kind of experimenting with certain new age ⁓ practices and teachings that were all over social media. You know, was there ever a time that you felt ⁓ you had spirituality or was there a practice of like, you know, energy or manifestation or astrology? Like, you know, were you doing anything specifically? To kind of create your own faith practice, or you know, how did you become spiritually like self aware or self focused? jayce: I guess I started ⁓ just like seeing things in a different lens. I would, you know, I remember my friend, you know, tell me, like, he's like, bro, you're super lazy. You don't do anything. You need to, you need to start doing stuff. And I like old me would have, you know, got really aggressive over that, but I understood now that like God or whatever it was at the time was like, this is its way of talking to me, which, sounds stupid, but. The conversations that I would have, knew that they were pulling me towards something now. Just like self-progression. I guess I didn't give the best example, but the conversations that I would have, I knew that they were leading me towards something. ⁓ I'm not sure if that makes any sense. Isaiah: No, it does. Yeah, when did you feel ⁓ You know, when did you feel things stopped satisfying you with how you were, you know, organizing faith? Like y you said there was this period of self-progression and things in influential people that said motivating things that got you to the next step. But what what was the time that you actually came to know who Jesus was, or even just started to question Jesus as God or the possibility of God? jayce: I would say it was a long time after that. Like I had this new age, I would call it new age self-progression phase where like I was obsessed with getting better and ascending is what I called it at the time. And I had like all this artwork on my wall, like yin and yang, learning about that stuff. And remember having this poster of, I think it's Ganesh, Ganesha. the Indian elephant God and like getting into all of that stuff that like this is all these religions are wrapped in one and Buddha learning about Buddha. I was just feeling like when I was nicer to people and I carried clean energy that I was getting it back and I was like pretty obsessed with karma and just being nice and just trying to be trying to be a better person all around being nicer carrying myself in a better way. And I would see the I would see the progression in my life. I'm not sure when, but I think it was, it was new years, 2021. Yeah, maybe 2021. Isaiah: Actually even before you go that far sorry to interrupt, even before you go that far, going back to, you know, the the new age, what you have is is basically this idea of like the ascended masters, right? Where you have like ⁓ you know, Jesus, Buddha, Vishnu, you know, Ganesh, like all these different deities that have existed throughout time that become this, you know, hierarchy ⁓ throughout the ages. Something I kind of explained in the last episode. Which is very new age, but what brought you to that idea? Was that something you saw on like YouTube or were you reading something? What kind of s what kind of created that idea in your head? jayce: Well, these people that were around were like, I guess I would call them hippies. And they were like super into drugs and doing that type of stuff and like, you know, free spirit, all that stuff. And, ⁓ I don't know, they'd always say stuff about the universe. And I kind of just, you know, I'm a researcher. So once I heard that stuff, I kind of just went down my own rabbit holes and was like learning about that stuff. I knew that there was a higher power out there. So I was looking. all over the place, all different religions and you learning a bunch of stuff, learning really just the free spirit, clean, clean body, clean mind, learning all that stuff and just kind of trying to project it out to the world. a nice person, but once I, I'm not sure what happened, but it was a New Year's Eve, think 2021 is when I kind of was just, I was angry. I was like super depressed and I knew at the time that God was real. I think I started calling it or him God at that time, but I just remember being super depressed and just looking up at the sky and I was just cursing God out, saying crazy stuff. And I was like, I'm in control now. And I... From that point on, I tried to become my own god and I was like super arrogant. And I just started doing a lot of wrong things. And then I would say I got past the free spirit friend group and started hanging out with some degenerate, not very good people. Isaiah: Yeah, feel free to go into any of that. It doesn't have to be details, but just so we can kind of understand the timeline between ⁓ that last phase of like your new age progression and how it led you to ⁓ you know, actually understand who God is. jayce: Yeah, I would say, ⁓ after that, that 2021 new years, when I, you know, I looked up at the sky and I was, I was cursing God out. I was just like, you know, was fighting with my parents a lot running away. I mean, I must've ran away for four or five days at a time, multiple times, you know, every single month, just, just running away all the time. Just wanting to be out all day doing whatever I wanted. And, you know, I started to hang out with the wrong group of people and. I ended up getting arrested for the first time in March, 2021. And I kind of just, I got put on probation and I kind of was just getting into this, this new crowd. I was, I kept sending crowds. kept getting worse and worse. So when I went into probation, I got put into this, this drug group. I started meeting a whole bunch of people that were like really broken. I mean, I was broken at the time, but. I was coming from a semi-normal family, these kids were sons of drug addicts, daughters of drug addicts, sons of their dads doing a long, long time in prison. I was just getting around this different mindset and it was dark. These people were dark, the stuff that they were doing. I would say I was completely godless at this time. I did not care at all about self-progression because that's when I would... You find the the I guess you could say like divine power was through self-progression. That's when I felt it But it was all darkness from that point on and I was kind of just doing whatever I wanted hanging out with the wrong crowd still Smoking weed every day, but not really doing drugs. You know, I dropped all the the New Age stuff. I would say I wasn't You know, I never really got into like crystals or anything or like tarot cards, but I would watch YouTube videos on it. thought it was super cool. But I just had no interest in self-progression. I was just diving down. And I knew I was diving down. knew. That's why I think I got punished so much more for the things I was doing because I knew that God was real and I knew that I was kind of spitting in his face. But I was okay with it. I didn't care. felt like the things I was going through I shouldn't have been going through. I remember, Crying out they having a real bad day and just crying out to my mom big why is God doing this to me? There's no reason for him to be doing this to me. I don't You know, I don't do anything wrong to him, which is not true. I was not not moving right at all, but I blamed him for everything. I was supermanic God all the time and I kind of just carried that with me at school. I felt like I had Like a dark cloud around me at all the time all the time and you know my friends would would tell me that at school, like, dude, you you gotta wipe that, that, that face off. Like you, look evil. And I kind of just carried that to school. started fighting and I got in a few fights at school and, ⁓ I was like obsessed with, ⁓ you know, being bad and like keeping people away from me through the energy that I was projecting off to everybody. Like I felt like it was, it was my shield, like being super negative. And, ⁓ I kind of just progressed until eventually I, I left my high school and I started going to an alternative school and, and then, and then I met an even newer crowd and it just kinda, kinda kept tumbling. And, ⁓ I did graduate. Meanwhile, this whole time I was on probation for, I would say like three and a half years. So I did have, you my probation officer was great. My counselor was great. had a good team around me that, you know, they tried super hard to get me to do well, but you know, I'm a good talker. I would be doing stuff bad at night. And then when they'd see them, I would, I would charm them and make them laugh. So they didn't think anything was going on. And ⁓ Then at the end of high school, when I was at this alternative school, I was also meeting a lot of good teachers. I started, I started to care more about doing well. My, uh, my cousin got out of jail after a while and I started hanging out with him, my older cousin, who I got super close with and he was a Christian. So he started telling me all this. You know, stuff about the Bible and saying God more around me, just saying the word God. And I started to, I started to care more about doing right for God. I think he, got out around March, but, ⁓ know, stuff was catching up to me. was super depressed, leaving my, my old school. I wasn't allowed to go to prom because I was on a. An ankle monitor. wasn't allowed to go out of my house or do anything fun. I remember they had like senior week planned for my old high school. I wasn't allowed to go to that either. So I was just like, and also being super negative. The last time that I was at school, I didn't have very many friends that I carried with. You know, kids I've known for like six or seven or eight years at that time. I wasn't talking to anymore because they didn't want anything to do with me because I was, you know, criminal. So I was. Super depressed, super alone. then April, like March to April, I would say I got super into drinking and I was just, called it drunk war zone. I'll just get drunk and play war zone all the time. I do it every single night. And I ended up having, I was taking these anxiety meds at the time, these psychiatric meds. And yeah, I took a bunch of them. out of like a crazy spurt of just anger and rage. But I was also drunk. So I had a pretty significant seizure and I was out for like three days. They took me down to the hospital. was like, I think I got, I'm not sure if I got charcoal or my stomach pumped, but I was out for like three days and. I popped my shoulders out, both my shoulders out in that time. But I was so unconscious that I didn't know. my shoulders were fully popped out for like three days. And they had no idea. I like woke up from my slumber, my three day binge of being asleep. And I kept telling my mom, like, I was like, do you see anything wrong with my shoulders? I had like a huge back. Like I'm a skinny guy, but. My back was like fully pumped out. And was like, mom, like, you feel this? I remember she was like massaging my back and she kept calling the nurse down. like, something's wrong with him. So they gave me an x-ray and both my shoulders were popped out of place for 72 hours straight. And I just remember waking up and like all my, my family was around and I remember my cousin being there and he's like, what are you doing, dude? Like, why would you not tell me? I was like, I don't know, man. And I got really close with him after that, because I was like, man, nobody, none of my friends showed up. Nobody was there. Nobody really realized I was gone. But my older cousin realized and the one that was talking about God and I kind of just gravitated fully towards him. I graduated school. And I was off to the races from there, just hanging out with him all the time. And he was kind of putting it in my head. Isaiah: Yeah, that's a n that's a really interesting testimony, especially knowing you outside of here and you know, not knowing most of that stuff. But ⁓ obviously like the your cousin was very influential in planting the seed of of of God and faith. what brought you to the next level? Like what are some things that really made you have an understanding that, you know, you know, Jesus is a real you know jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: is a real God, right? The the the son of God. Like what was that connecting piece that made it personal for you? jayce: I do want to say like... I don't want to make it sound like I figured it out at that point because I didn't at all. I was actually still doing, you know, a bunch of illegal stuff. That happened, like the whole seizure thing happened in April. And ⁓ my mom and dad were just like, what, like, what, why, why were you, why did you do that? It was like, you know, it was a pretty crazy time for my family. I had an older brother that just was like, he, nobody had any idea. Nobody had. Any idea why I did that? It was just like a crazy spurt out of nowhere. I just like freaked out. But, I was kind of getting like a little bit more attention at that time from them because they were just, you know, they were scared. were like, they didn't want me to go off the deep end. knew that stuff was like super serious now. And I'm also leaving a lot of stuff out that I was doing at that time. But, ⁓ actually the day that I graduated, I actually got kicked out of my house. And I went and lived with that cousin at my aunt's house. So I was with him 24 seven all the time, going to work. He's a barber. was going to work with him, just hanging out with all his friends and they were all Christians. So the seed was being planted. You know, he was telling me his own testimony and he's had a pretty, crazy life. He's been all over the country. And he was just telling me everything that he was talking about is connecting it to God. And he was, you know, giving me Bible verses and stuff, which I didn't really care about at the time, but I was like looking around like, man, I do not want to be like this anymore. But, ⁓ you know, I saw the bridges that I burnt down with everybody. I really didn't have that many friends at this time because, you know, I was just angry and violent all the time. And my mom and dad obviously didn't want me around because I did something pretty crazy the first day of summer. I don't know why. I guess I was just like glad for school to be over, but I did something pretty crazy and they didn't want me around. So I was off to the races. I was by myself. So I moved into, I bought an apartment with my friend in Abington. Should I say that? Am I allowed to say where it was? Well, I bought an apartment with my friend and this guy was like a pretty tough blue collar dude. He was like a, he was bad. did, I didn't know him from, being, you know, doing our bad stuff back in the day. But once he got out of school, he, he started working a good job and he kind of just started changing his mindset after not being around all the other guys. And I wanted to follow. was like, man, I do not want this for my life. I don't like my, uh, my odds at life right now. You know, I didn't plan on sad to say, but I did not plan on living past 20 at that time. I was like, I think I told enough funny jokes that my funeral would be pretty fun. I would have visions of sitting over my funeral and this is crazy. I would have overhead visions. I guess it was like dreams, but it was like a daydream. And I would be over my funeral and I'd be watching everybody mourn and be like, man, he was a pretty funny guy. Remember when he did this and that? And I just felt like at that point that I did enough funny stuff that... I would have a good funeral. So, you know, that was my mindset at the time. But once I met this kid and he was, you know, working hard and he like actually was caring about the future, I started caring about that stuff. ⁓ paired with when I messed up my shoulders, ⁓ they were never the same again. So I was going to work with him, was doing construction and I was popping my shoulders out every day. Like I could not, I couldn't work. was waking up, sneezing, popping my shoulders out. I'd be washing my hair in the shower, popping my shoulders out. So I couldn't work. I had no source of income. had to reach out back to my mom and dad. I had to move back in with them, which they weren't too keen on because of how I left, I came back into their house and that's when I really started caring a lot and finding God and actually putting in some serious time into getting better. Isaiah: If you had to give the audience an understanding of where you are at now spiritually or with God, you know, give like a you know, a good understanding of what is the you know, the the past year been for you when it comes to your faith. Like where are some things that you're wrestling with still? Where are some things that are kind of growing you as well? You know, if you had like an idea or a way of summarizing, you know, like that that that next step Was where you are currently. jayce: I'd say it was a long, long process because I spent that first year being at my mom and dad's house. Just I got back to back surgeries. I couldn't really do anything. You know, I had to have them like take out the dogs because if I, if I, you know, had the leash on them, they ran a certain way. I would just rip my shoulder out and I was just fully relying on the two people that I did not want to rely on. Like I just wanted to be. I had like a real bad mindset. I just wanted to be my own man at that time, but I couldn't, you know, like the reality was like I had to have my dad wash my back in the shower. So I, all my ego was gone. So I just completely started reliving my entire life. started listening to how my mom and dad were like, I wanted something normal. So I was just pretty locked in on. Being normal, hearing how a normal family acts, how normal people act. I started getting into fitness and sports. started going to, out with my cousins, watching my little cousin wrestle. And I started getting into combat sports. And I was like, listen, all these guys talk and how they thought about the world and discipline mindset. And I just kind of became obsessed with it. Out of that, guess, you know, like getting into a higher mindset, I started really caring about God and... the self-progression was there. Isaiah: What are some things that you're currently doing that you feel is growing you, ⁓ you know, spiritually? Maybe it can just be, you know, things online or just ⁓ you know, reading. ⁓ you know, I know you had said that you were in a bible study. ⁓ if you could just give like the audience a more present day idea. jayce: Yeah, ⁓ one day I just, I'm not sure what it was, but, ⁓ I actually started watching these YouTube videos of this fitness influencer that he would like talk about building a strong mindset, you know, like how important it is to do your, maybe the wrong word, but like morning rituals, like, you know, waking up at a certain time, eating at this time, going to the gym at this time. So I was structuring my days out and he would always say stuff about the universe. You know, like, like what you give it will give it back to you. At this time I was not calling it the universe. So I was, I was just saying God and that's kind of how it started. I was getting into God more. And then I just decided to make the weird decision of going to church one day. And I walked in 20 minutes late because I had no idea when it started. I've never been to church in my life. And the pastor came up to me and he's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm trying to find God. And he's like, ⁓ yeah, like he gave me my first Bible and he sat me down. He, ⁓ I kind of told him the same story. I just told you. I gave him like my, my testimony on like what, what I was looking for. I knew that I knew that I was alive for a certain reason. You know, I, I was, I probably should have died when I got that seizure. I mean, at least that's what they said. So I knew that I was given a second chance for a reason. Like I was not, you know, I was kind of obsessed with, with death for a while. Like I, I felt like that was going to be my, my big moment at life. So after I realized that I was given a second chance at life, you know, I just cared more about what I could do with my life. And I was also getting into a lot of gratitude stuff and just being super grateful. So I was always thanking God and this pastor actually He gave me a Bible. He wrote a bunch of stuff in it on like how I could, you know, do better just reading my word. And, ⁓ that following week I went into the Bible study and I actually met two of my teachers from my alternative school and it made me feel like super comfortable. It was like a non-denominational church, just a regular Christian church. And you know, they got, got me into it from that point on and I was just going nonstop for a while and, ⁓ and I picked up a kickboxing. That's where I met you. And, you know, we started talking about God and that's, think. Really when I met you, that's when I like started to really understand. would say, you know, you know, I'm learning, but you kind of were like an experienced Christian that. Wasn't you know, the pastor was like an old man. He was like a like a boomer No offense to Phil. Sorry Phil, but But he was like a boomer. So it was like hard to relate with this guy like he was and like an old-school Christian but you know once I met like a younger and millennial Christian that I also had the the same passion, you know with kickboxing in I was learning new stuff and Yeah, that's when it really took off I would say, you know, I do it every day. do, I try to do something every day. try to read the word or, you know, I'm, I'm constantly thanking God. And, uh, just recently you told me, you know, you're talk to God like he's my friend. So I've been doing that a lot more. You know, I complained to God. I talked to God. I tell him what's good. I tell him what's bad. And, uh, yeah, I also picked up the Bible study once I started going. going to college, there was like a little Bible study group and I remember getting done with my anatomy class and it was like very, very strange. This is something that I would do when I was in new age. I'd be like, universe, give me a sign. And I would see, you know, some numbers or something. And I was like really into numerology, but at this time I was like, God, give me a sign. Tell me what I can do between these next two classes to get closer to you. And I looked at the wall, like right on the dot. I looked at the wall and it was the poster for the Christian Bible Study Group. And as usual, I walked in late. They're like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm here to find God. yeah, that's when I met the Bible Study Group. Isaiah: Yeah, there's this one scripture that I wanted to read before we transition to the last segment. It's in the book of Deuteronomy. It's in the Old Testament. It's one of the first five books. ⁓ so you'll find in the very front. It's Deuteronomy four. I'm gonna read chap verses fifteen through twenty. and this kind of highlights really well to what you just said about ⁓ you know, asking the universe and then redirecting it to God. And it says The Lord spoke to you from the fire at Mount Sinai, that's the mountain that you know was Moses was at at that time. ⁓ but you did not see him. So watch yourselves carefully. Don't sin by making idols of any kind. Don't make statues of men or women. Don't make statues of animals on earth or birds that fly in the air. Don't make statues of anything that crawls on the ground. Don't make stat don't make statues of fish in the water below. When you look up at the sky, you see the sun, the moon, and the stars. You can see everything in the sky, but don't bow down and worship them. The Lord your God has made these things for for all you people everywhere. and I like that part because ⁓ it's really indicative of th worshiping the creation versus the creator that Paul was talking about in Romans. And that's kind of why I picked these two scriptures. You have like this old testament telling of you know, even from the very beginning from the get-go, people were always having some kind of new age religion where they were looking at the stars, they were looking at signs, they were looking at ⁓ creatures, and you know, whether they were animals or creatures that don't exist anymore. Depends on who you ask, right? But we have this idea that We put so much value into things that are just the the byproduct of God, right? And we don't actually direct our attention to the creator. So we ask the universe for a sign, but the universe isn't animate, right? It was created. You know, we ask for God for a sign and it and it allows us to have more direction because it's directly personally for us, right? ⁓ you know, going into this last segment, obviously we're jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: not too far removed in age, but there is a little bit of a generational divide, you know, with that idea of new age and also with the idea of me talking to you and with the idea of me talking to you and, you know, having our deep conversations. We don't have to go into details of the things that we talk about, but you know, what are the differences between your generation battling with the new age and maybe my generation a little bit older? Because jayce: Definitely. Isaiah: I will start off just so you have an idea of the comparison. You know, you and I are very similar in a sense that we got into the new age from psychedelics, you know, so and I I when I was using ⁓ my my goal was to probably open my third eye, it was to ascend, it was, you know, to to get into this ethereal plane, you know, where you're just using all these different, you know. Concepts that were taught by mystics to, you know, commune with things that we had no business communing with, right? And to someone who doesn't understand a psychedelic ⁓ culture, they would just be like, What are you guys talking about? But but that's the interesting thing with psychedelics and spirituality, is they almost speak the same language, right? You know, so if you have like a Christian or a Catholic and they have this like religious jargon, well jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: psychonauts and people who are really invested in in drug use like like of that kind also have like a very specific language where they're trying to almost experience something very supernatural and something very spiritual, right? ⁓ but obviously when I was younger, we didn't have TikTok. We did have YouTube, but it was just kind of starting out. A lot of these things were motivated by, you know, music and and and certain artists or books or maybe jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Even, you know, movies and, you know, ⁓ philosophers or you know, you name it, things that were less constantly indoctrinating us. Like I didn't have to open up my phone and constantly see something telling me that I should think this way. I had to go search for that thought. I had to go search for this new idea, this new ideology. You know, what are some differences being in your youth, in your younger generation that jayce: Thank Isaiah: You know, you had to battle f you know, within the new age. jayce: Well, I would say, you know, with the phones, you know, they, they don't say Jesus, the, you know, the rappers, the Tik Tok influencers, the YouTubers, they don't, they never say Jesus. A lot of them are, you know, feels like they're, they're put in the position and, know, it feels like that that's on their contract, you know, just to not say that stuff. But they do talk about the new age a lot, like a lot of the music. It has a lot of new age spirituality stuff and ⁓ the movies that we grow up with. It's a lot of obsession with the old gods and ⁓ I don't know if I'm going in the right direction here, but... Isaiah: I think you're you're getting there. jayce: ⁓ It's just like the indoctrination with the phones and the, you know, the feed on Tik TOK or Instagram or whatever it is. It's a, it's a lot of it has to do with drugs. They doing drugs. We're sold a lot of degeneracy and there's really nothing pointing back to God. It feels like, you know, like I heard on the other podcast, like Maddie talking about, you know, hookup culture. And that hit, you know, that hit Gen Z very hard. I know you talked about how drug addiction hit your generation hard. It's like, they'll push everything to Gen Z that is, you know, immoral, that lead you away from God. And ⁓ it's just like something that, you know, even when we sit around at the end of, end of class, you know, after kickboxing or something, like that's like the stuff that we'll be talking about, like what happened to Gen Z, like the degeneracy and the stuff that goes on with, you know, the people that we all look up to, the people that are famous that are on our phones. And it's just everything is immoral. And it's kind of if you're on your phone all day and you're involved in super involved in Hollywood, you're not going to find God because you know, his presence is not there. Isaiah: Yeah, I I find it jayce: I would say. You're good. can keep it. ⁓ I would say just the heavy influence of, having a phone in my hand. I've had a phone in my hand since maybe fifth grade. So, you know, sometimes I feel like my phone raised me more than my actual family until, you know, I started coming around. actually started listening to them. You know, my phone was raising me for a while, so I was Isaiah: No, you can go. jayce: I could actually say that I probably got into psychedelics from the music, you know, from hearing about drugs all the time with all the rappers that I listened to. Um, to a point where, know, I wasn't listening to my mom and dad anymore. I was listening to these people that I thought were like edgy and, you know, outside of society that they were like, cool. But really at the end of the day, they were just, you know, doing a lot of degenerate stuff. And, uh, you know, there was no. no fingers pointing to God. just felt like that was something that I had to find on my own through following that stuff for a while, feeling the darkness, and then finally just striving for something that I felt like would actually work, which was God. Isaiah: Yeah, I love that ⁓ you know, analysis you gave on technology 'cause again I grew up and I didn't have a cellphone. Well, I mean, I had a cellphone but it was like a Nokia and it you had to T9 everything and you had Snake on it and I probably had that in like high school, but it wasn't something that you used yeah, you just used it to call your mom to pick you up. Like you didn't have any ⁓ way to interact with it until I was, you know, my twenties I would say. ⁓ jayce: Yeah. Ancient. Yeah. Isaiah: But what I find so interesting is the generation of people that were raised by technology, right? Where they have this constant drip of of indoctrination or propaganda or just constant stimulus that they could never really run from, you know. And one of the biggest things that I find so fascinating about my generation is I feel like we were with like one of the very last atheist generations, you know, where ⁓ you know, scientism and the idea of just jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: everything being explainable was at the doorstep of the millennial ⁓ you know generation. But then the more Gen Z and Gen Alpha people I talk to, it almost seems like there's like this divide where it's like, okay, you're either spiritual or you believe in some kind of God. Right. Almost like atheism doesn't really yeah, like almost like atheism doesn't like exist anymore. Like you might be somewhat apathetic or agnostic. jayce: Yeah, 100%. Isaiah: But ⁓ in most cases your generation is completely, you know, steeped with spirituality. You know, it just depends on which side of the fence you're on. jayce: Yeah. Yeah, I think, ⁓ Isaiah: I d I don't yeah. jayce: I think God is great work in my generation. Like, even like, like I said earlier, like even if he's using the enemy for a little bit to pull him, to pull you closer to God. Like I feel like with Hollywood, spirituality is a big trend. It's, you know, pretty well known. I, I barely know anybody who doesn't believe in something, especially it definitely hit the girls a lot harder with the spirituality stuff. You know, they're all. They're all wearing their little evil eye necklaces or they have the tarot cards or they have the crystals or whatever it may be. But with the men, would say, at least, you know, in my area, feel like ⁓ the more that the influencers that we follow about, like they're starting to, they're pushing a a new group of influencers that talk about the degeneracy. And people are like sitting back, like realizing like, wait, like this is, this is degenerate. This is immoral. So everybody, feels like the kids my age are looking for something more and they don't like the, the spirituality and ⁓ they're, turning to Christianity. It seems like there's a huge boom of Christianity right now, especially after, because like, ⁓ like Charlie Kirk was somebody that my whole generation saw on their feed. every single day. And when he got assassinated, it was like a massive boom, which sounds crazy, but it was like a massive boom with, you know, it seemed like everybody wanted to become a Christian after that. At least the boys that I know that are my age, that's what it felt like. You everybody's looking for something. They're realizing that like Hollywood's kind of falling down. People are starting to realize, you know, that it's immoral and they're looking for something else. think that, you know, God's really doing numbers in my generation specifically. Isaiah: Yeah, and and again, one of the reasons why I bring that up is, you know, some people might listen to this podcast and don't have faith. They don't have a spiritual practice. But I think one of the things that I find so interesting about like generational observations is there's almost like more people nowadays that don't mark that unaffiliated category anymore. Where maybe ten, fifteen years ago I would have a I'd have a conversation with someone and jayce: Yeah, definitely. Isaiah: it'd be very easy for them to say that they're atheists, right? You know, or they're agnostic. And now the most of the people I talk to, ⁓ I don't want to say that they're all, you know, ⁓ Catholic or Christian or Orthodox, but, you know, in some in some cases they affiliate themselves to some kind of a spiritual practice. ⁓ you know, so I find that these conversations are very useful, even if we don't have like a specific ⁓ you know, direction or answer or or question we're trying to solve for. It's just more so to allow the audience to ⁓ have a have an understanding of it, you know, especially with Phil and I talk to Phil about these things a lot. And these are things that the boomers aren't aware of, right? They don't understand that because, you know, they for the lack for the past thirty to forty years, they just kind of go about their days the same way every day. Like they go to church on Sunday, you know, they play pickleball, they go to the grocery store. jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Right, like there isn't like this interaction with not reality but technology for them to understand the nuances of how things are evolving. So I find it very important for me to have this dialogue and have all these different generations have a voice because we don't have that bridge anymore. We don't have the ability for a boomer to understand what a Gen Z would experience on their phone. Like it's a completely completely different world. I'll share something with Phil. jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: And he's like, I don't even know how to use that link, or I don't even I didn't even realize that I I can swipe down or or do whatever. So he's starting to see these things and he's just like, Holy cow, like where have I been? Right. So the relationship that I've had w the relationship that I've had with Phil is very interesting because I'm almost giving him this ⁓ technological awakening in a way where he's starting to see things in a different light because he's no longer seeing things from the lens of a boomer who just kind of jayce: Yeah Yeah. Isaiah: ⁓ you know, does what they do day in and day out. And like there's a little bit more of an interaction with the world around him. ⁓ and I and I find that very interesting because then, you know, he helps me understand the mindset of someone ⁓ who really hasn't had to change anything about what they've believed in for decades, you know. So it's it's it's paradigm shifting. It's it's just kind of fascinating for me to have these conversations with people because ⁓ jayce: Yeah, definitely. Isaiah: You know, both sides don't understand each other, right? jayce: Yeah. Yeah. It's like, feels like social media has become a religion in itself. Like a lot of my generation will gravitate towards one person that's, you know, has like a strong energy to them. And they're literally like, rich or repeating everything they say, whether it's ⁓ a political influencer or a fitness guy or an athlete. Like they, they become obsessed with, these people and. I'm sure it's hard for people like Phil to understand that there's people who go to church on their phone. I could learn more. I go to Bible study and we'll spend an hour on one chapter in the book of John. But then I'll be watching Instagram reels or something and I'll learn 30 things at once. after being on my phone for so long, it hooks my brain in a different way than, than sitting down at and Bible study and learning about one chapter for an hour straight. But, you know, I do think it's important to get a mix of both because I would say at Bible study, we do it in like a more, you know, maybe it sounds wrong, but like a more traditional boomer way, you know, we sit down and we We sit and we actually like talk to each other and go through it slowly and connected to the world at the end of the end of the ⁓ session. But on my phone, it's just, you're hearing 30 different opinions from 30 different people. You know, you're seeing your friends like it. So you're like, ⁓ this is what this person thinks. Like, and you don't think it has an impact on you, but you kind of just put yourself into a little group. It's, it's feels like it's turned into its own religion. Isaiah: Yeah, I find that very fascinating on how you put that because I've I've I've never really thought of that or heard it you phrased that way. but it's it's almost like the analogy of drinking through ⁓ drinking through a fire hose, right? You know, it's yes, water's coming out, but by the time you put your lips to it, you're you're a goner, right? ⁓ and and I don't think there's like a an a right way of of gaining information, but one of the things that I've always found most helpful for me jayce: Yeah. Yeah. Isaiah: when I'm trying to apply something that I've read in the Bible is and they'll say this a lot in the Bible is like, you know, using the words as ⁓ you know, your footsteps, or like, you know, how can you ⁓ you know, I think we read in the last episode, you know, meditating on the word day and night, right? Like just having something that you focus on and see how it can apply to your your everyday life, right? It's like going to a kickboxing class and you're learning like a million techniques, but you've never learned how to apply one of them, right? You know, so that's the nature of spirituality or faith. It's okay, how can I take this one verse that I read and how does it make me point one percent better or closer to God or closer to understanding God, right? And and that's really kind of how I see things, where it's not so much jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Can you intake information fast or slow? It's it's how do you apply it? And does it give you encouragement? Does it make you wiser? Or is it just give you fear? Does it just kind of create division? That's how we kind of know if these things are good or not, right? jayce: Yeah, it's like, Isaiah: All right, perfect. jayce: Rouge? Isaiah: No, ⁓ go on. I was just gonna wrap up soon. jayce: ⁓ okay. Yeah. ⁓ one of the things that I struggle with, and I know a lot of other Gen Z people struggle with is like the way that we learn like that fast pace, quick information. It's a lot more intriguing, you know, having the phone in my hand and always having access to it. Like, I'm not gonna lie. I'd rather watch the chosen TV show than pick up my Bible or I think it's the chosen, right? Isaiah: Yeah, I think so. I don't I I've never watched it, so don't know. jayce: Right? Yeah, like I'd rather pick that up. ⁓ OK. Well, there's stuff that there's more appealing YouTube videos than me to watch than me just sitting down and reading the Bible, which is sad to say. But like that's a problem that my generation struggles with, like we're so used to fast pace. Information, you know, like. hooking information into other things that I have interest in or hearing like one of the MMA fighters or the athletes that I like talk about their own faith is like, you know, I have access to this all day, you know, different perspectives on it, but I don't take the time that I probably should to sit and get my own perspective on it and get my own, you know, set my own beliefs up. Isaiah: Yeah, and I think that's an interesting ⁓ you know, observation for yourself because, you know, again, no one here has it all figured out. But the fact that you've recognized that ⁓ you have to have your own path, right? You know, you can't copy someone else's ⁓ you know, faith. That you can't copy someone else's ⁓ s you know, spiritual practice or their interpretation of things. ⁓ But the fact that you recognize that is important, right? You it'll allow you to kind of make attempts, you know, have the intention to try and figure it out on your own, which I always communicate is the most important thing and anything you can do, even if it's physical or spiritual, it's what's your intention behind it? You know, how can you make one percent progress into that direction even if y you you fail, right? but I wanted to kind of wrap up, you know, just since we're kinda nearing on time here, is there anything you wanted to kind of in closing say or just anything at all? jayce: Honestly, I'm just hoping when I rewatch this, I'm glad about how I did, because this is my first podcast. So I'm sorry for the viewers. I'm a little all over the place. I can sense it. hopefully Isaiah will have me back on. I can come a little bit more prepared, a little bit more structured. I hope I represented Gen Z well today. Isaiah: No, I I Yeah. I think you did and how fr like frenetic you were and and how ⁓ I don't want to say disorganized you were mentally, but I'm joking. You know, it No, that's okay. Like i y you did great, you know, and and one of the things that I just want you or anyone that comes on the show to have an understanding is I don't want anything to sound scripted. I don't want anything to be perfect. I want jayce: Yeah Isaiah: real people to just kind of share, you know, what they're going through and have the audience understand that ⁓ you're not trying to model the perfection, right? You're not trying to model someone that seems unattainable, right? ⁓ we can only just use, you know, people like yourself as an example that, hey, I I could have experienced all these things similar to Jace in my past. ⁓ but Jesus still had a way of calling jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Jace, Jesus still has a way of calling you to kind of work yourself out of that situation and work towards perfection, right? It's kind of like those episodes we did on perfectionism. It's it it's not a it's not a destination, it's a process, right? ⁓ so I wanted to wrap this up. I do want to thank you, Jace, for coming on. ⁓ we will have you back on the podcast, especially as ⁓ you know, as as the summer kind of progresses, ⁓ I want to have some repeat guests just to kind of see how they've come along. jayce: Thank Isaiah: ⁓ but I do thank everyone for tuning into this bonus podcast. I plan on releasing this probably around Wednesday or Thursday, ⁓ and then another episode again on the weekend. So with all that being said, have a great night and God bless and cut. All right. How'd you how do you feel you did? jayce: Right. I don't know. I was a little disorganized. I feel like I I feel like I could have wrapped more into you know, Jesus about it instead of you talking about myself but um I was so like frenetic about like Saying the right things like I'm always watching these podcasts and like thinking like man I could do that. I could go into flow state but Shit's a lot harder than it sounds Isaiah: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean I I think like you you started to really pick up steam towards the end. You know, so it's like the first Yeah, yeah. And a lot of the things you said were kind of like repeat of themselves, so I'll probably like consolidate some of those things, but ⁓ I really liked how you kinda went in Yeah. jayce: Yeah, it was like a little bit more comfortable. Yeah, I know. I would... Isaiah: No, you you did good. Yeah, it's just more so ⁓ I think those last couple of points you made were really good. You were talking about I love the technology point the point of technology when you're talking about ⁓ the phone raising you, right? That's such an important thing for the audience to understand. jayce: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I should have said more about that, about like how ⁓ the influence of the phone and the people around me were like getting me into this stuff rather than just like, I met these people and this is how it happened. I also like had a lot more influence that I probably could have talked about with my cousin. And I also didn't want to bring up any of the Nephilim stuff, but like with Isaiah: Mm. jayce: You told me that, like really had my stuff going crazy, but yeah, I don't know. There's always next time. Isaiah: Yeah, I mean jayce: Just waiting for Charlie and Mike to clown me when they watch this, but it's alright. ⁓ Isaiah: ⁓ no, they won't clown you. I'll I'll edit I'll do my movie magic and everything's gonna be good. jayce: Yeah, I think next time I'll be a little bit more comfortable and Now that I don't have like the I Don't know there's some things I didn't want to share like I did want to keep it PG But there's like a lot more like darker stuff that I wanted to talk about but I also You didn't want to like air myself out to a point where I'm like telling all my Personal stuff so I was just trying to find a balance, but I was doing it as I was talking so it kind of had me all over the place. Isaiah: No, I think in you doing that, ⁓ was very, very cr like, very good 'cause ⁓ I like I like I've said before, I've I've had testimonies with people, whether they're on podcasts or s like lectures or whatever, and I would give them all of the detail. I would talk to them about the drugs, the sex, the all all these things. And the audience is like, Wow, like that's so like stirring or crazy. But it doesn't really change their heart. jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Right. It just kind of like changes their mind towards the idea of you or like they're just like almost like temporarily shocked. It's like watching a horror movie where they just have this like viscer visceral rela reaction to the things that you said and then later on they just don't really even think about it. And, you know, one of the things that God's really kind of showed me is some of the testimonies that I've had that had the most impact in someone's life were the ones that I said the least. jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: There are the things that I was just like, Yeah, I was broken and then ⁓ you know, I didn't have a father figure and then Jesus became my father and then you know, so on and so forth. And then people just like really kind of buy into that 'cause they can relate. It's relatable. I think ⁓ the only times those stories work is if it's only relatable and if it's not, it's just kind of like fan fiction. jayce: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just wish I had more of like a, like a that's Jesus moment because you know, I do have like a very dark emotional past that is like would shock a lot of people, especially people that know me. But, you know, I wish I just had like a moment where I could be like, and then I found Jesus and this is what Jesus did for me. And this is how, you know, I probably could have talked about how I always felt like my heart was like empty. But when I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time, it was like an explosion in my heart. Like it just felt like, like that was my center ground. And honestly, since I felt that, since I think probably since I went to that, church for the first time and met that pastor. And I remember him telling me like, like you're a brother now and like feeling like the love from like 30 different, like random ass old people, old women, old men. ⁓ I think I could have just went into more detail about how much I've changed my life and how sturdy I am now. I don't feel like I'm missing anything now. Isaiah: Well, I feel like that's your Jesus moment. jayce: Yeah, probably. Isaiah: You know. jayce: Yeah. Isaiah: Yeah, I mean like not everyone's gonna have this ⁓ radical transformation, right? You know, it's sometimes it's very slight. Sometimes it's no it's not even noticeable, but you know, if someone saw you ten years ago and they see you now, they they wouldn't recognize you. And that's that's the the testimony. It's it's the transformation. jayce: Yeah. Yeah, like could have said that too. I was literally like four or five years ago, I was like an evil ghetto, like mean and like, yeah, I'm a small guy. I am, but like I was like super violent, which is crazy. But like now I'm like a big smiler. You know, I'm super nice. I'm always cracking jokes. You know, I'm pretty like, I'm loud in the rooms, but. You know, don't think people at the gym, like the MMA gym, like I really don't think they would recognize me four or five years ago. So I probably could have said that too. Isaiah: Yeah, I I think that's your testimony. Yeah. All right. We're gonna wrap this up and then jayce: Damn I should have Isaiah: You never know. It might make the cutting room floor somehow. jayce: That would be awesome. That'd be a cool one. Alright, awesome. Alright dude, thanks for having me on. That was, it was new, but I'll definitely be back on and I'm coming with a vengeance because after hearing Yuri's, after hearing Yuri's testimony, I'm pissed. I'm pissed how I just sounded, so. ⁓ Isaiah: Yeah. I'll I'll see what I can add it together. Yeah. Yeah. It it's not a performance, right? It's just the you telling what's on your heart, and you know, saying what where you came from, where you are now. And that's the only thing that really needs to be, you know, explained. That's it. jayce: Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, I'll ⁓ my next appearance will be good. I'm going to make sure of it. I'm going to come in not sitting in my car sweating. I was dying of sweat because I turned on the fan. I know it's so loud. I had a, ⁓ a cop I'm loitering in my neighborhood and I had a cop drive by like three or four times. So I'm like, shit, I'm going to get pulled over on this podcast. ⁓ just freaking out. Isaiah: Yeah. Ha. No, you're like, no, I'm I'm actually just talking about Jesus on this podcast. Sorry, officer. jayce: yeah about this podcast you want to join all right well I'll let you get to it I know it's late Isaiah: All right. No, I thank you for coming on. jayce: Yeah, man. Thank you. Isaiah: All right, I'll see ya. jayce: Alright, see ya.