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Bonus IMPROV - Don't Be a Simon · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Real good
• 0:15
  Yeah, yeah, yeah
• 0:23
  Very fine
• 0:27
  Friends
• 0:28
  Bonus
• 0:30
  Embra
• 0:31
  Joe
• 0:34
  My tweet
• 0:36
  I have a suggestion
• 0:38
  My tweet
• 0:39
  Uh
• 0:42
  Uh
• 0:44
  Uh
• 0:46
  Uh
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  My suggestion is ranger
• 0:50
  Ranger
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  danger danger
• 0:55
  ranger is a
• 0:58
  very manly sounding job
• 1:01
  is it?
• 1:04
  yeah I think it is
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  to me it implies
• 1:07
  a certain
• 1:09
  communion with nature
• 1:12
  you know
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  I think women have way more of a community with nature
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  than men
• 1:16
  no but like if you're going to be a ranger
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  you've got to be able to wrestle nature
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  You got to be able to not just, yeah, not just like in touch with nature.
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  You've got to be able to like, like I respect it, but I can control it.
• 1:30
  Right.
• 1:31
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:35
  Yeah.
• 1:36
  When I think of Ranger, I think of Power Rangers.
• 1:38
  Of the Mighty Morphin?
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  Mighty Morphin variety.
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:41
  Yeah.
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  One Christmas when I was a kid, me and my two cousins,
• 1:45
  it was a boy and a girl, we all got Power Rangers.
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  And I got the blue one and I was pissed.
• 1:50
  why which one did you want um it's not the pink one right probably yeah but it's not i mean yeah
• 1:56
  it's not that i it's that there was like this maybe you guys can tell me in your household
• 2:03
  was the blue one considered like nerdy i never watched it okay i think that's what i thought
• 2:10
  because it was just like oh the black one was cool the red one was cool and the blue one was
• 2:13
  less cool although now i don't think i would give a shit but i was like i can't believe this happened
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  to me. What did your cousins
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  get? The black one and the
• 2:23
  she probably got the pink one.
• 2:26
  Yeah.
• 2:27
  I only was worried about myself.
• 2:30
  Yeah, well.
• 2:31
  Yeah, why would you care about them?
• 2:34
  It's fair.
• 2:35
  Yeah, thank you.
• 2:36
  You don't think it was like, because
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  they thought you liked the color blue?
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  I don't think they put any thought into it
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  whatsoever. Okay.
• 2:44
  Did they take three?
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  Or, I don't know
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  If my aunt was there maybe my cousin was like oh which one do you want Which color do you like But no one thought to ask me I was a very disregarded child
• 3:00
  Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
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  It's not your fault.
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  You weren't there to stop it.
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  I was, actually.
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  And now, improv.
• 3:16
  Travis, can you come into my office, please?
• 3:18
  Of course, sir. Of course. I'll come right immediately.
• 3:21
  Okay. Yeah. Okay. That, that answer is part of my problem.
• 3:26
  Um, I, okay. The other day at the company picnic,
• 3:31
  we had, well, we were having a lot of fun. We were having a lot of fun.
• 3:37
  I love the face painting. I'm still wearing it. Look, I know. And this is, this is, um,
• 3:42
  this is what this brings me to my issue it wasn't just a fun day with face painting there was a
• 3:52
  little bit of a a test in there a little bit of a test oh a work test yeah a work test it was
• 4:00
  kind of to see what kind of a person you were should i scrub my unicorn off for this i'm
• 4:05
  starting to get embarrassed.
• 4:07
  So,
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  no.
• 4:13
  Okay.
• 4:15
  When we had
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  the costume contest,
• 4:20
  I'm still wearing mine.
• 4:21
  No, okay.
• 4:21
  Well, hang on, hang on.
• 4:22
  I know, I know you are.
• 4:25
  There was a choice
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  between Alvin, Simon, and Theodore
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  for everyone to choose.
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  uh the three chipmunks yeah alvin and the chipmunks super cute yeah uh
• 4:40
  you chose simon well yeah that was the wrong answer we're company of alvin's
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  but we're alvin's here but we both wear glasses that's that's another thing i thought the glasses
• 5:01
  as we're cosmetic at first.
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  We only want people with 20, 30 vision at this company.
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  Well, I can't help that.
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  It's just what happens over time.
• 5:09
  No, no, no.
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  What I'm starting to say is,
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  I don't know if this is going to work out.
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  I thought you were in Alvin,
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  but you're a Simon.
• 5:20
  Sir, I...
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  Thank God you're not a Theodore,
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  otherwise we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now.
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  You would have found my foot firmly
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  on the back of that Simon ass of yours, or that Theodore ass, well if we were Theodore
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  it would be a bigger ass.
• 5:36
  Sir, I believe that diversity of costume is important in a company.
• 5:42
  I agree that we should have the option but there a right choice Well what the point of an option if you just going to penalize me for choosing It performative
• 5:53
  It's a performative option.
• 5:56
  Yes.
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  When I was a child,
• 6:00
  my brother's favorite chipmunk was Simon.
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  And he saw a chipmunk outside one day
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  and he said, look, there's Simon.
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  He ran outside and he got hit by a Mack truck.
• 6:09
  Yes.
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  So I wear this to honor him.
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  Yeah, that was nature's way of saying,
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  don't be a Simon, be an Alvin.
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  I bet you if he had said there's an Alvin and run outside,
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  he would have been alive today.
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  Okay.
• 6:31
  Okay.
• 6:33
  I feel like I should take this off.
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  I'm embarrassed.
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  I feel like my job is on the line.
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  no you're you're a simon with a unicorn face paint am i fired or not you are on thin ice
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  just tell me what i need to do moving forward to keep my job and to make things hunky dory
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  become an alvin i need to by the end of the week i need to see some real alvin characteristics from
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  you okay and there may or may not be another test i don't know i can arrive to this challenge
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  Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
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  I just said I can arrive to this challenge.
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  That is a, that was a Theodore move.
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  You're going back down the ladder.
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  God.
• 7:16
  Okay.
• 7:17
  Well, I'll do what I can do, sir.
• 7:20
  Yes.
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  Say that you do.
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  Cut to the factory floor.
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  Hey, Travis.
• 7:33
  Hey, buddy.
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  How's it going?
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  It's Alvin now.
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  What?
• 7:36
  No.
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  Okay, all right.
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  I legally changed my name to Alvin.
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  Middle name, Thee.
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  Last name, Chipmunk.
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  Okay, good for you, man.
• 7:49
  Hey, I was wondering, can you see the machine keeps jamming?
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  It's slowing everything down.
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  Take it right out, B-word.
• 8:03
  Whoa, that's really cool.
• 8:06
  Dude, I thought we were friends.
• 8:09
  We were.
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  That's before I put a shirt on that has a letter A and took my pants off.
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  Oh, my God.
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  You are pantsless.
• 8:14
  Yes, I am.
• 8:15
  Thanks for noticing.
• 8:18
  Here's an acorn.
• 8:20
  No.
• 8:21
  I'll need that back, though.
• 8:22
  It's my only one.
• 8:23
  Oh, sorry.
• 8:25
  Well, here you go.
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  There it's back.
• 8:27
  Wow.
• 8:28
  Wow, man.
• 8:29
  You used to be the brainiac around here.
• 8:31
  What's going on?
• 8:32
  Real change in power dynamics.
• 8:34
  Yeah.
• 8:35
  I'm just a floor worker.
• 8:36
  Yeah just Keep that in mind You just a floor worker and I everything I evidence that people can change Okay All right
• 8:46
  Well,
• 8:47
  okay.
• 8:47
  I guess don't worry about coming to my party then.
• 8:50
  Okay.
• 8:51
  I won't cut to his home with his wife.
• 9:00
  Honey.
• 9:02
  What?
• 9:03
  Oh my.
• 9:04
  What?
• 9:04
  I'm out.
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  I'm Alvin now.
• 9:06
  Wait, where's Travis?
• 9:08
  Where's my sweet, sweet Travis?
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  What happened to him?
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  Travis is on thin ice.
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  So I dunked him.
• 9:15
  No, I liked, I liked sweet Travis.
• 9:18
  Where are your glasses, honey?
• 9:20
  Did you drive here without, did you drive home without glasses?
• 9:23
  You know, you're legally blind.
• 9:25
  Yes, and heads up, we do need a wheel alignment now.
• 9:30
  Listen, a lot of things have changed recently, okay?
• 9:33
  But it's going to be for the better.
• 9:34
  I'm gonna lead this pack
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  I'm gonna lead this marriage
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  That's just the two of us
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  Two doesn't really constitute a pack
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  That's the kind of thing Travis would know
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  Well Travis was fine doing a
• 9:46
  Equality thing
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  But I have to be ahead now
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  I've gotta be leading
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  So do with that what you will
• 9:55
  I don't
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  I don't know I don't like this
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  I don't like this
• 10:01
  This new Travis
• 10:02
  Honey
• 10:02
  Let's just
• 10:04
  Let's go
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  Let's just go to bed
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  And we'll have
• 10:07
  Our usual sex
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  Where
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  I'm in charge
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  And
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  No I'm gonna fight you on it
• 10:12
  What?
• 10:13
  Cut to bed
• 10:14
  Get on top
• 10:17
  What are you doing?
• 10:21
  Do what I like
• 10:22
  Move my leg more
• 10:25
  Why am I moving your leg at all?
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  Just bounce
• 10:29
  Honey this is
• 10:31
  No
• 10:32
  Less talking.
• 10:33
  Less lights.
• 10:39
  Cut back to the boss's office end of the week.
• 10:43
  I tried living as an Alvin.
• 10:46
  Yes, and I want to say...
• 10:48
  That looks like a man who got laid and his wife didn't enjoy it.
• 10:55
  Listen, you may have your ideas, but I have mine.
• 10:58
  And after this experiment, I only have one thing to say.
• 11:00
  Yes?
• 11:01
  Here's my shirt.
• 11:03
  I'm handing it in.
• 11:04
  Unfortunately, now I am completely nude.
• 11:09
  That's a total Alvin move.
• 11:12
  You did it.
• 11:14
  Oh my God.
• 11:15
  You kept the job.
• 11:16
  Now get on top.
• 11:18
  See?
• 11:31
  you