Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / Ep. 53 Rewriting Money Stories: A Journey of Transformation (with special guest Annie Moussu)

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Ep. 53 Rewriting Money Stories: A Journey of Transformation (with special guest Annie Moussu) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

0:00
Erin Gray: You're listening to Generate a Life Well-Lived podcast.
0:03
Erin Gray: I'm your friend and confidant, erin Gray.
0:05
Erin Gray: I'm a former certified financial planner, turned human design, financial mentor and guide to entrepreneurs.
0:10
Erin Gray: I believe our money and our business can only thrive at the level of our emotional wellbeing.
0:16
Erin Gray: I empower entrepreneurs to feel confident with their money and in their business so that they can have fun now and in the future.
0:22
Erin Gray: On this podcast, we will explore all things money, business and self-development, including human design.
0:28
Erin Gray: I hope you enjoy the journey where I share everything that I know and am continuing to learn along the way, as I honor my heart's desires while inspiring and encouraging you to do the same.
0:38
Erin Gray: Hey, hey, my friends, how are we today?
0:40
Erin Gray: So I've got Annie Musu on the podcast today, and she is an EFT master practitioner that helps women set boundaries and create healthy relationships.
0:49
Erin Gray: So, first and foremost, annie, I'm so grateful that you're here and willing to share your time with us, so I'm excited for our conversation today.
0:57
Annie Moussu: Thanks for having me, erin.
0:58
Annie Moussu: It's a pleasure to be here, yeah.
1:01
Erin Gray: So we're going to talk about all things money, annie's relationship with money growing up, how she's been able to transform it using EFT, and just kind of dive in.
1:10
Erin Gray: You know, one of the things on the podcast that I always you know that's kind of at the center of what I want to bring to everybody is like, hey, we've all had our relationship with money Right, and wherever you are along the journey, it's perfectly okay.
1:24
Erin Gray: And if it's not where you want to be, that's okay too and you can change it and transform it.
1:29
Erin Gray: So let's dive in.
1:30
Erin Gray: So tell us a little bit, if you're willing to share just your experience growing up with money and the family dynamics and and elaborate a little bit on that.
1:40
Annie Moussu: Sure, yeah, I grew up in Southern California.
1:43
Annie Moussu: My parents are Vietnamese immigrants.
1:45
Annie Moussu: They came to the US as the boat people and in the 80s they met each other and they raised a little family and it waswinner and my mother is the traditional role.
1:59
Annie Moussu: The woman stays at home, she's cooking, taking care of the kids and then the dad is going to work.
2:11
Annie Moussu: My dad really insisted on academic success because it was what gave him the golden ticket to succeed in the US.
2:22
Annie Moussu: He immediately enrolled in a college and he picked the degree that would give him the most opportunities and so he became an engineer.
2:34
Annie Moussu: And so we grew up, my brother and I, in an upper middle household, upper middle class household, but it didn't really feel that way.
2:43
Annie Moussu: We definitely had the immigrant mindset.
2:45
Annie Moussu: So that meant like saving up every little penny, um making sure we um buy stuff on sale.
2:53
Annie Moussu: Um.
2:55
Annie Moussu: I remember picking out stuff that I'd like at the store my jeans, or like pair of shoes that I want and then my dad would say, no, that's too expensive, go back.
3:04
Annie Moussu: Pair of shoes that I want.
3:05
Annie Moussu: And then my dad would say, no, that's too expensive, go back, find a cheaper pair.
3:13
Annie Moussu: Um, that the whole you know thing with desire has been really difficult for me because as a kid I kept being told no, that's too expensive, no, that's too expensive.
3:17
Annie Moussu: And then I'd go to school and I'd see the other kids would have like the newest shoes or the Nike, you know, new Nike shoes or I don't know whatever.
3:27
Annie Moussu: They'd go to the movies and they'd see the latest film out and I was not a part of that, could not follow the conversation, couldn't understand what they were talking about.
3:38
Erin Gray: Yeah, it was very Because there was just no funds allocated for that right.
3:41
Erin Gray: That was just like no.
3:42
Annie Moussu: Yeah, yeah, even their cultural barriers, like my parents didn't really get at the time, like what the point of going to the cinema was.
3:51
Annie Moussu: They're like why is the volume so loud?
3:53
Annie Moussu: Why are we, why are we all sitting in the dark?
3:56
Annie Moussu: Like yeah, and so americans, yeah, I yeah.
4:02
Annie Moussu: Yeah, we went to a movie when I was five or six.
4:05
Annie Moussu: I remember seeing Aladdin at the cinema, yeah, but I didn't go until junior high with my friends.
4:11
Annie Moussu: Later on, yeah, it really just wasn't a thing, yeah.
4:15
Annie Moussu: And so my, my mom spent a lot of time with us, taking care of us, and she'd say you know, your dad is just so busy he can't be here with you because he's.
4:27
Annie Moussu: This is the way he loves you.
4:28
Annie Moussu: He's making money so that you have a comfortable household, a life, a comfortable life.
4:33
Annie Moussu: I just wanted him to go to, like, the school play that I was in, or come to the reward ceremony or something.
4:41
Annie Moussu: I'd see him on the weekends and he'd take us out into some you know nature outing.
4:46
Annie Moussu: He really loves national parks.
4:47
Annie Moussu: That was another way he showed his love.
4:49
Annie Moussu: But my mom kept saying this is the way he's showing that he loves you.
4:53
Annie Moussu: He's making the money, that's how we're living this life and growing up.
4:59
Annie Moussu: Then I, you know, brought that into my work.
5:02
Annie Moussu: Maybe I'm kind of jumping ahead here, but yeah, that came into my work later on one of my financial blocks, because I got the idea that, well, the man makes the money, the woman doesn't.
5:16
Annie Moussu: And then who am I to make money on my own plus be an entrepreneur?
5:23
Annie Moussu: There are no business owners who are women in my family and none of them are doing them, doing it online.
5:30
Annie Moussu: You know, they're like they're, they're cutting hair or something like that.
5:33
Annie Moussu: It's not anything at all what I'm doing, and so, yeah, um, I don't know I could go in so many directions, but I think that kind of gives a pretty good picture.
5:45
Erin Gray: I want to go back and I mean, obviously we're not in your dad's head or in his body, but do you think that you know that almost that poverty consciousness, what I call right, or that scarcity mentality, comes from that place of fear, of like never wanting?
6:01
Erin Gray: Like you, I always say like there's a moving either towards something or moving away from something, right, and the energy is very different.
6:09
Erin Gray: And so do you feel like that your dad was like so tight with the money or so saving, you know conscious, because it was like I never want to go back to.
6:17
Erin Gray: You know, maybe the life before you moved to America and that was kind of what was um played into him being so fear-based or poverty conscious in that, in that regard, yeah, I think he definitely grew up in very extreme poverty in Vietnam and I think he's such a logical, rational person.
6:40
Annie Moussu: He realized very quickly that the best way to succeed is to save up every penny.
6:47
Annie Moussu: And so he started a retirement plan in his thirties, like very early, and uh, made we.
6:54
Annie Moussu: He wanted to save all the money to invest in our house and so, uh, yeah, we had a very comfortable life, uh, and at the same time I I I learned much later on that it was just one of his dreams it's the American dream to go from rags to riches.
7:11
Annie Moussu: And he did it.
7:12
Annie Moussu: He really did it.
7:13
Annie Moussu: He just was so determined to become rich.
7:16
Annie Moussu: You know, whatever that meant for him, yeah, whatever that meant for him, yeah, yeah, and so he.
7:22
Annie Moussu: I don't, I'm not quite sure.
7:24
Annie Moussu: I think that he was just so.
7:27
Annie Moussu: When you come from such extreme poverty or extreme situations like that, sometimes there are people who fall into like the victim mindset or who can't really get the motivation to, you know, or the hope to to make something happen.
7:43
Annie Moussu: But it's opposite.
7:44
Annie Moussu: For him, it was like that's the motor for him to go after what he wants.
7:48
Erin Gray: It's like the motivator, yeah, and I want to say like poverty consciousness.
7:51
Erin Gray: When I think about poverty consciousness, I don't mean like um, it is a mindset, but it doesn't mean that we don't have money.
7:58
Erin Gray: Right, like I.
7:58
Erin Gray: I've met a lot of people I was this person too.
8:00
Erin Gray: Right, like poverty conscious versus wealth consciousness.
8:03
Erin Gray: It's like you can have money and you can still feel like you don't have money or you don't have enough money.
8:08
Erin Gray: You know, um, and I think your, yours and my upbringing are very similar in the sense of like cause I wrote down, you know, like the messages that you received.
8:18
Erin Gray: Like this is this is how we formulate our beliefs.
8:22
Erin Gray: Right, like our parents think, cause, my dad was the same way.
8:24
Erin Gray: He thought, and we've had several conversations about this.
8:26
Erin Gray: You know he's like I thought I was being air quotes, right, whatever, a good parent is a good parent by providing for you.
8:33
Erin Gray: Right, but like exactly what you were saying.
8:34
Erin Gray: You're like I just wanted him to come to.
8:36
Erin Gray: Like you know some of my games or my plays, or like whatever that is, and you know I'm from the standpoint of like is that?
8:46
Erin Gray: I think a lot about this.
8:47
Erin Gray: Like is that the generation that we were in, you know, even though we weren't like in the 1950s, right, like we grew up in the eighties where, in a way, like the mom still did a lot of stuff and the dads went to work and prepare I'm air quoting for those of you listening you know, provided for us financially and that's what you know.
9:06
Erin Gray: If you think about where our parents came from, generational wise, that's kind of what it was taught back then, you know.
9:11
Erin Gray: So it makes sense why our parents or our dads wanted to do that for us.
9:17
Erin Gray: And also, sometimes the messages we received from that was like, hey, you don't care, which isn't, isn't the case at all, but that's, that is what we kind of as we move through life.
9:27
Erin Gray: Right, those are the stories or the beliefs that we pick up, or we, yeah, we create from that, you know?
9:31
Erin Gray: Um, so, in terms of like being with money because you saw the way that your, your dad was, your mom, like that with money in terms of like being very aware and and would you say conservative, is that a good word to say with with money?
9:43
Erin Gray: In terms of like being very aware, and would you say conservative, is that a good word to say with with money?
9:47
Annie Moussu: or my mom, was the complete opposite.
9:50
Annie Moussu: She's like that's what men take care of, like in their household.
9:54
Annie Moussu: It was my dad and he's the one who also made all the important decisions for her.
9:59
Annie Moussu: It was like this is not my, my strength, I'm going to let your dad deal with that.
10:03
Annie Moussu: And because he makes the money, he's the one that gets to make the decisions.
10:08
Annie Moussu: So it's very kind of maybe old school mindset.
10:11
Annie Moussu: I'm not quite sure, but in my household that was what she kept saying.
10:15
Annie Moussu: So you can imagine how that would feed into my business.
10:17
Annie Moussu: Later on I'll get into that.
10:18
Annie Moussu: But yeah, so she doesn't to this day deal with the finances.
10:25
Annie Moussu: Part of that is because of the language barrier.
10:29
Annie Moussu: She speaks English, but it's definitely not her strength.
10:33
Annie Moussu: She can't really read all the technical texts and filling out a tax filing form.
10:41
Erin Gray: Yeah, I'm like first of all, and tax stuff is already right, like it's already so complicated.
10:47
Annie Moussu: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:48
Annie Moussu: So she just leaves that up to him and I think they've come to um, they have their own collaborative way of working through this kind of stuff.
10:57
Annie Moussu: You know each couple is different, so for them it's like okay, yes, that's your strength, you do that, and this is my strength, you do that, and that's they're fine with that.
11:05
Erin Gray: Yeah, so at what?
11:06
Erin Gray: At what point did you you know you've, you grew up you realized, okay, this is kind of the way that the story has been at what point and I'm sure it probably was an evolution, right but like, what's what?
11:18
Erin Gray: What point did you start being like, okay, this is kind of interfering with either how I want to live my life or kind of what was your aha moment?
11:25
Erin Gray: I know we don't have like one aha moment, but like when was it the like the tide's turn where you're like, hmm, this is not how I want to be with money anymore.
11:33
Annie Moussu: Yeah, there are so many, but the first one that comes to mind that when I was 15, I became very rebellious of feminist.
11:43
Annie Moussu: I saw how my mom was just submitting to everything that my dad was saying and she wouldn't stand up when we felt like she should have stood up for herself or when we needed her support.
11:54
Annie Moussu: We would have appreciated her perspective as well as my dad's, and maybe find a way to move forward about something she wasn't there for that.
12:02
Annie Moussu: She just left that all up to my dad, and so I said I'm never going to be like that.
12:10
Annie Moussu: I will never let a man control me.
12:12
Annie Moussu: And my dad was extremely controlling, very harsh, abusive, constantly criticizing me.
12:19
Annie Moussu: That's just how he showed his love, apparently how he showed his love.
12:22
Annie Moussu: Apparently, I didn't really it didn't feel like that, of course, but I had learned that he has the power to treat me like that because he's the one who gained money, and so no one said anything.
12:36
Annie Moussu: That was just how things were, and so it's yeah, the money and the self-esteem and the self-empowerment, like oh, got mixed up together, you know, and that was when I really put my foot down.
13:01
Annie Moussu: I said I'll never become like, I'll never be in a relationship where the woman is of lower status than the man, and I've been able to create that with my husband.
13:05
Annie Moussu: But the past caught up with me eventually Because, like you were saying so well earlier, we either go towards something or we're being repulsed by something, and both have their own light and shadow.
13:19
Annie Moussu: Something good for myself by saying I'm moving away from this mindset, my parents' old school traditional mindset, going towards something that's really aligned to me.
13:30
Annie Moussu: But in my body, as I was tapping later on, I realized, oh, there's a part of me that still adheres to this old traditional mindset and there's nothing I could tell myself in my mind that would change that until I released it on a somatic level.
13:48
Erin Gray: I wrote down.
13:48
Erin Gray: You know it's interesting because I think and my mom has said this before, you know, she's the same thing, Like I don't ever want you to depend on a man.
13:55
Erin Gray: So me and my sister, you know, have always worked and she wanted that because that was her experience with her mom, like kind of the similar, you know, like her mom would tolerate some things from my grandpa and stuff like that.
14:06
Erin Gray: And you know, my mom saw that, had that polarity and was like I don't want my girls to do that and it's amazing.
14:12
Erin Gray: And also, like we can take it to.
14:14
Erin Gray: You know, I always say like where's the middle right?
14:17
Erin Gray: Like we can be on both ends, or like we really want to be a live in the middle of like.
14:21
Erin Gray: Because I took it to the point of like, live in the middle of like.
14:24
Erin Gray: Because I took it to the point of like, well, I don't need a man, right, I'm going to do it all myself.
14:27
Erin Gray: But then we don't develop the muscle, we don't practice the skill of receiving right and receiving.
14:31
Erin Gray: You know help and receiving, you know ease, and like sometimes we almost take that and it's and it's nothing that our parents air quotes have done, right, it's just like they are.
14:42
Erin Gray: They are using their experiences and teaching us Right, and we develop these beliefs and stories.
14:50
Erin Gray: And so you know the, the fact of being able to receive and it doesn't have to be hard and you know you can enjoy things and I think that that's you know, if you're listening, you know what has been your experience and like have we taken it all the way to the other side?
15:08
Erin Gray: Because we have had that polarity right, like the, the contrast is a beautiful thing, but we don't have to swing.
15:14
Erin Gray: You know, take the pendulum way to the other side.
15:17
Erin Gray: You know, like, where is the?
15:18
Erin Gray: Where's the learning?
15:19
Erin Gray: Where is the middle ground for us to use what we see, what we don't like or don't want, and how can we use that to to move us forward?
15:29
Erin Gray: I want to talk a little bit about because you know, in the coaching world and this is kind of how I got started is there's lots of air quotes of like money, mindset, right, and we change our thinking and I've always said, like that's great, but if you're in your body, you don't feel safe with money.
15:46
Erin Gray: If you don't feel um, yeah, okay, or at ease, it doesn't matter how much thinking and mantras and affirmations you're doing like we've got to get into the body.
15:58
Erin Gray: So do you want to share just a little bit about some of the things that you've done?
16:02
Erin Gray: Obviously with EFT and you know, you know how how that switched for you.
16:07
Erin Gray: Like were you trying to do a lot of like mindset work and then you were like this isn't working or what.
16:11
Erin Gray: What was it like for you?
16:14
Annie Moussu: Yeah, I didn't become really concerned with money, mindset stuff until I was observing myself in my business.
16:21
Annie Moussu: So, for example, I would get really nervous speaking in front.
16:26
Annie Moussu: I share a lot of who I am in my podcast and my blog and it has really magnetized the right people to me.
16:47
Annie Moussu: But for a really long time I was kind of just on the fence of how much should I share, and it just didn't feel comfortable and I realized that as I tapped on that, I learned that I had a fear of my own power, because I had learned very negative connotations about what it means to be a powerful person with my dad.
17:13
Annie Moussu: If he has power to control me because he's the one who makes money, naturally my unconscious mind will be repulsed by the.
17:23
Annie Moussu: I'd blush like crazy or my throat would tense up or I'd be overthinking before, during and after the public appearance, and then I'd beat myself about stuff that I didn't say, or maybe I should have said this differently.
17:49
Annie Moussu: It was just so draining, and so that was one way when I realized, okay, this is true in my body, even though my mind is saying but yes, you are allowed to be powerful, you have got something to share with the world, you've helped people.
18:06
Annie Moussu: It's valuable what you're saying.
18:08
Annie Moussu: I can say that over and over.
18:10
Annie Moussu: But if I'm feeling all this tension as I'm writing, I can immediately sense that something is off.
18:16
Annie Moussu: And it will uh, it will curb the creativity, it will curb my magnetism and the, the confidence that I want to radiate out to people.
18:27
Erin Gray: Yeah, I think that's so powerful because I think a lot of us have felt or feel that way and we use our mind I think, subconsciously, unconsciously, right To protect us.
18:39
Erin Gray: Right, like that overthinking that, like all of that stuff that you're talking about in your head, like that's our mind or, or you know, trying to protect us, right, versus and it, and also like for a lot of us, it doesn't feel safe to be in our bodies in a consistent basis.
18:56
Erin Gray: Right, like growing up, we were probably taught, like you know, all of consistent basis.
18:58
Erin Gray: Right, like growing up, we were probably taught, like you know, all of our feelings, right, emotions, like stop crying, you know, why are you whining?
19:04
Erin Gray: Or like, why are you so upset about this?
19:05
Erin Gray: Or you're too sensitive, right, like all of those, those stories that we've been told and so we have yeah, I don't want to say unconsciously, but like I guess that's the word that's coming to mind is like we've gotten out of our bodies.
19:19
Erin Gray: Right, we, we've lived in our heads because it's a it's a safer air quotes right Way to be than in our bodies and so talk a little bit more about so you notice this, because if someone's listening and they're like, ooh, that's me right, like I do blush or I do feel that.
19:35
Erin Gray: What were some of the things that you?
19:38
Erin Gray: You said tapping, was there anything else that you did?
19:40
Erin Gray: You know, I always talk about like it's really being with ourselves, which is really scary in the beginning, right Like if we're experiencing those emotions, they can feel really intense in our bodies.
19:50
Erin Gray: What are some, I guess, suggestions or things that you've done that people can try and play with, to kind of be with ourselves and in our bodies and with those sensations that we're feeling in that moment?
20:04
Annie Moussu: Yeah Well, the first thing that comes to mind is grounding.
20:08
Annie Moussu: Grounding was something that I discovered on my own.
20:11
Annie Moussu: I didn't even know it was called grounding at the time, but I was kind of pushed into it because my husband and I struggled with a codependent relationship for many, many years and that was a direct consequence of growing up with an abusive father.
20:24
Annie Moussu: I just rehashed the same trauma through my marriage, and so we would get into these almost constant arguments on and off for several years, arguments, um, on and off for several years.
20:43
Annie Moussu: And if I didn't get into my body very quickly, I'd stay up in my head and all the emotions would dictate my reactions and worsen things.
20:47
Annie Moussu: And same for him, same for my husband.
20:50
Annie Moussu: And so I remember just one day, um, totally panicked, like what are we going to do now?
20:57
Annie Moussu: This fight is so horrible, it's painful, it's scary, and I don't know.
21:01
Annie Moussu: I just felt the call to focus on my feet.
21:05
Annie Moussu: I don't know, and you know, in the self-help world there's a lot of visualizations with the tree roots growing out of our feet, and I just imagine those roots going all the way down into the earth, into the center of the earth, even just as deep as I needed and I just breathe deeply and I felt all the rage and all the fear just coursing through my body and I feel it just be all red in my neck and my chest, it rise up into my head and just breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing.
21:39
Annie Moussu: So I got kind of, you know, pushed into a corner to have to do that, I'd say for most people.
21:51
Annie Moussu: I'd really recommend like, yes, if you can pay attention to in those moment of crises, get into your body immediately and focus on your feet, because that's the most grounding you want to get, or into your maybe your hips or something.
22:00
Annie Moussu: If you think of of trees, the trunks are the most solid.
22:05
Annie Moussu: You have the leaves on the top that are just moving with the wind.
22:08
Annie Moussu: That's like our thoughts and our fears and limiting beliefs and if you stay up in your head it's going to take you away, you're going to be lost up there.
22:16
Annie Moussu: If you go down to the roots, the solid trunk in your belly or in your hips or in your feet, then you can anchor yourself into Mother Earth and feel much more centered and then you kind of take down the stress response so you can think more clearly.
22:34
Annie Moussu: So start paying attention in your daily life, these small moments as I start with the small moments when you notice any sort of physical tension showing up in your daily life.
22:47
Annie Moussu: So it could be as soon as you open up your laptop for the workday, people who are online entrepreneurs.
22:53
Annie Moussu: You open up your laptop.
22:55
Annie Moussu: What kind of mindset are you in?
22:56
Annie Moussu: Are you feeling peaceful?
22:59
Annie Moussu: Are you feeling nourished, hydrated?
23:02
Annie Moussu: Then pay attention to, maybe an hour later, put a notification on your phone, then take two minutes to check in with yourself, ask yourself how are you doing?
23:13
Annie Moussu: How are you doing?
23:14
Annie Moussu: What tension am I feeling right now in my body?
23:17
Annie Moussu: Where is it?
23:18
Annie Moussu: And then just stay with it Breathe, breathe, breathe.
23:22
Annie Moussu: And you know, if I get really panicky, I'll just start tapping on the acupuncture points in EFT.
23:29
Annie Moussu: I'll just go round and round in silence until I feel calmer.
23:34
Erin Gray: I love that.
23:34
Erin Gray: You said like and I'm paraphrasing like start small, like for sure, when we're in those heightened, you know, the fight, flight, freeze responses, right, we do want to be with it, but that might be too intense in our bodies.
23:46
Erin Gray: So when you're not in, that response right.
23:49
Erin Gray: When you're just, like you said, like opening up your laptop, or like when you wake up in the morning, like there's not, like how are you feeling?
23:55
Erin Gray: Kind of do what's called like a body scan, right, Like top to bottom, like what am I feeling in my body?
24:00
Erin Gray: And I think so often and this is a cultural thing be curious to if you notice that from living in Europe now too, is like the rush, fast pace society that we live in, Right, and the for lack of a better word neglect, right, that we pay attention to our bodies.
24:16
Erin Gray: And like how are we feeling?
24:17
Erin Gray: Like we have such a to-do list from the get-go when we wake up in the morning, versus how am I feeling?
24:25
Erin Gray: And that's what I had to do at the very beginning, Like I had to put an alarm on my phone, like every hour, like checking in, Right, and you know, what am I feeling in my body in this moment?
24:34
Erin Gray: And you know, two minutes is not going to break.
24:37
Erin Gray: Five minutes is not going to make or break your day, Right.
24:39
Erin Gray: Like you can do that every hour to get into the habit of what does it feel like when I connect with my body?
24:46
Erin Gray: Um, do you find that as well in in like the society?
24:51
Erin Gray: You know, we I think Western society is definitely like this, but like in a rush rush culture that from where you live and things of that sort.
25:00
Erin Gray: Is it similar like that, or is that mainly a Western thing that we have created for ourselves?
25:07
Annie Moussu: Oh yeah, it's um, it is here in France where I live too.
25:11
Annie Moussu: Especially when I lived in Paris as a student, I could definitely feel that rush in any big city.
25:16
Annie Moussu: I'd say you can feel that rush here.
25:24
Annie Moussu: Where I am in Northwestern France it's in the countryside, so it is more low key, and then the French culture is very.
25:29
Annie Moussu: They find the off time so precious, so everyone gets some, you know, five weeks at least paid leave every year and that is just uh, the norm here.
25:40
Annie Moussu: When I tell people that in the U?
25:42
Annie Moussu: S it's two weeks, they're like what, how, how do people do that?
25:45
Annie Moussu: Oh, that's so typical of Americans, you know, like that's uh, they're just so surprised.
25:51
Annie Moussu: Um, yeah, and you know, I think it's, it's you.
25:57
Annie Moussu: You can create a hell in your mind anywhere, it doesn't matter what's around you, yep.
26:02
Annie Moussu: So yeah.
26:03
Annie Moussu: And.
26:04
Erin Gray: I, I think that there's.
26:05
Erin Gray: I think all things play into it, right, like cultural, societal, religious, like there's so many things, and, like you say, and at the end of the day, right, like we get to choose, like, how do we want to feel?
26:17
Erin Gray: Right, like we're so practiced in being a certain way and so really breaking up, how you know, like our bodies, our nervous systems feed off of those chemicals.
26:29
Erin Gray: So if you're used to feeling stress and you haven't felt stress in a while, your body's going to serve up stress so that you can feel it, cause that's what it's used to, you know.
26:37
Erin Gray: And so just just slowing down, which seems so counterintuitive to what you know, if you have, if you think you have a lot of things to do, or you do have a lot of things to do, right, like it seems counterintuitive to slow down, but that's actually what we want to be doing, so that we can, you know, change the change, the dynamic or the direction right Of where we're going.
27:00
Erin Gray: So tell us a little bit more.
27:02
Erin Gray: So, in terms of you know, when you realize that you were, you know you started your, your business, and when did it show up for you in terms of, or has it just been an ongoing thing for you to really.
27:16
Erin Gray: You said that you were, you know, not really showing up as your full self.
27:20
Erin Gray: Cause I think a lot of people like we think we fear failure, but we really might fear success more right Like to really be our biggest, boldest version of ourselves.
27:30
Erin Gray: So how, over time, you know, has the money stories shown up for you in your business and then how have you been able to transform them?
27:39
Erin Gray: And I'm sure it's, it's a work in progress, right, like it's not, like we get to a point where we're like thank you, all done.
27:44
Erin Gray: Right, like, yeah, it's always something work in progress.
27:47
Annie Moussu: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's.
27:50
Annie Moussu: There's so many avenues here.
27:52
Annie Moussu: Um, when I thought talked about power the other side of it is I was also afraid of being criticized and ridiculed, kind of like with my father.
28:02
Annie Moussu: But also in school I was bullied a little bit and it was really horrific.
28:07
Annie Moussu: And so if I put myself out there, there's a part of me that felt scared of being ridiculed and put down that I wouldn't be able to manage the negative reactions, especially from trolls.
28:19
Annie Moussu: And then it was showing up in like discovery calls and seeing the price of my packages.
28:28
Annie Moussu: Even though I know that I'm competent, there was always a part of me that felt not good enough direct consequence from my childhood as well.
28:35
Annie Moussu: So it's just this really gnawing direct consequence from my childhood as well.
28:40
Annie Moussu: Um, so it's just this really gnawing low self-esteem, like no matter what I do, it's never good enough.
28:42
Annie Moussu: And so when I said the price, I felt nervous and of course that's felt in the potential clients experience.
28:50
Erin Gray: It's interesting, you know, with price, because people, this is actually something that we're experiencing with um, people, this is actually something that we're experiencing with um, our daughters trying out, or did try out, for a team in gymnastics.
29:03
Erin Gray: And I noticed when they, you know, told us that you know, you can come and try out and this is something she wants to do.
29:08
Erin Gray: It's not something that we've, you know, I've always been like we're not doing all of that stuff unless you want to do it.
29:12
Erin Gray: You know, and and they kind of listed everything and then they said like, and then they didn't list the price.
29:19
Erin Gray: And then they came out during tryouts and they, you know, talked about more things, but then they didn't talk about the price.
29:25
Erin Gray: And then they called last night to talk about things and then they still haven't talked the price.
29:33
Erin Gray: The price, I'm like, just name the price.
29:34
Erin Gray: I'm like, why is everyone so squirrely about?
29:35
Erin Gray: Like?
29:35
Erin Gray: It's literally a number with a dollar sign in front of it.
29:37
Erin Gray: You know, but we have.
29:39
Erin Gray: But that was just such a perfect example of how people one number one, how far I've come, like that was a celebration for me, cause I'm like, cause she was like well, are you yes or no?
29:50
Erin Gray: I'm like well, I want to know what is the price.
29:51
Erin Gray: Like it's everything that we're going to, you know, take into consideration.
29:54
Erin Gray: I'm like I'm pretty sure we're a yes, regardless of the price, but like what is the price, you know?
29:58
Erin Gray: And um, so it was a celebration.
30:01
Erin Gray: And then it was also like where have we come from that?
30:07
Erin Gray: It's this like huge ordeal.
30:09
Erin Gray: It's like if you were to be like well and I always say this, you know it's like well, if it's 2000 tissue boxes, you would have a totally different, you know, feeling about it.
30:19
Erin Gray: Or there's 2000 trees or 2000 pens, right, like we don't even bat an eye about that, but we say dollar or Euro or you know whatever it is, and we we may right Feel this tenseness in our bodies.
30:33
Erin Gray: And so I think, I think you know being in business, like money's just part of business, it's just an exchange, it's just like it's just it's just part of it.
30:44
Erin Gray: And so, like noticing what our stories are around money, because, like you say, like when you're, if you are doing you know calls with people and you're having, like what is the feeling?
30:56
Erin Gray: You're feeling Because you're going, that is an energetic thing that's going to transfer to that other person.
31:01
Erin Gray: You know what I mean.
31:02
Erin Gray: They, like, they're going to sense that if you're if you're, I don't want to say funky, but like, if you know, if you feel a little off with, with, with the price, you know.
31:11
Annie Moussu: Yeah, totally yeah.
31:13
Annie Moussu: Yeah, I've come a long way with the pricing.
31:15
Annie Moussu: I can say it confidently.
31:18
Annie Moussu: Now, and especially because of the you know, the numerous testimonials I have over the years, I just constantly remind myself, like, look at all the positive impact you've had on others.
31:30
Annie Moussu: Remind yourself of this, even when I get into those negative thought spirals, I'll pull them out.
31:35
Annie Moussu: I have a Google Doc of, like you know, 80 pages of thank you notes and testimonials that I've collected over the years.
31:43
Annie Moussu: That's really helpful to kind of get out of the mind.
31:45
Annie Moussu: But yeah, like, like we were saying, it's ultimately how we feel within, because even you know, as in recovering at that time or recovering overachiever, I would get still get into those really negative thought spirals, like, despite all these testimonials, I still didn't feel good enough.
32:02
Annie Moussu: Or despite the fact that I know I need to take a break, for some reason I can't take a break.
32:09
Annie Moussu: I have to keep working two, three, four hours straight and then, when I'm so tired, I have to go and stop and drink water or something.
32:17
Annie Moussu: When I'm so tired, I have to go and stop and drink water or something you know.
32:22
Annie Moussu: So I realized that that was linked to my um, my, my ancestors, my parents, um, life before.
32:26
Annie Moussu: I didn't realize at the time, but I kept observing myself Like why do I keep having to work so hard for so little, keep having to work so hard for so little?
32:43
Annie Moussu: And I, even if I try to cut back my tasks on my calendar, if I had just one or two tasks per day, somehow those tasks became like 25 tasks and it would take up the whole day.
32:50
Annie Moussu: How is that possible?
32:52
Annie Moussu: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
32:54
Annie Moussu: And I kept observing over the years and I saw that there's this old story of the struggle and that's that's so typical for our society is just we.
33:04
Annie Moussu: It needs to be hard, uh, it it making money is difficult, um, and, and there's a part of me that also felt like I owed it to my ancestors to work hard and to gain the badge of honor, like, yes, you've all worked so hard for me, you've sacrificed so much.
33:21
Annie Moussu: And it'd be, it'd be, a shame for me, I'd feel so ashamed and guilty to have an easy, comfortable, pleasant life doing what I love.
33:32
Annie Moussu: You know, when they have to get up, get up and go out and hang out with, I don't know, not hang out with people, but, you know, be with people who are really unpleasant or whatever and just work their butts off.
33:45
Annie Moussu: I didn't really feel like I could kind of be with that guilt fully for a long time.
33:53
Annie Moussu: It's it came in in stages where I was just crying and tapping, crying um, and embracing that guilt and the the shame that came with rest and play and relaxation.
34:10
Annie Moussu: Um, yeah, that was a big one, yeah.
34:14
Erin Gray: I think you, you hit on some really big things because you know shame and guilt, we think that we have.
34:26
Erin Gray: We don't have to do anything, right, but like, in order to transcend where we are, like, we've got to feel that, right.
34:33
Erin Gray: Like we, we think like, okay, we don't want to feel the shame, we don't want to feel the guilt, so we keep working harder, right, or we keep working more versus no, a lot of, I think you, your people and my people are very similar to us.
34:46
Erin Gray: Right, like recovering alcohol, not alcoholics, workaholics.
34:50
Erin Gray: Right, like, where we are, you know where rest and play is actually, uh, work for us in the sense of like that takes effort, right, because that is such a uh, complete opposite of what we have always done.
35:05
Erin Gray: Like we, we don't need to work any harder, right, we need to work less.
35:08
Erin Gray: We need to, you know, allow for, you know downtime and play, and you know just being for lack of a better word like kids, again, right, and I don't think a lot of people talk about like, and when we go through that, what's actually going to come up is shame and guilt.
35:25
Erin Gray: Right, like we can get more practiced at feeling the shame and the guilt, because that is what's kind of keeping us in this cycle, right, like we feel guilty, so then we go back and we work more or we have more to do, is like there will always be more stuff for us to do, and so really it's like getting practiced at feeling the guilt and the shame, because that's where it is where we get to come up and we get to release it Right, like does it still come up for me sometimes, but it's not intense in my body, like what it used to, right, and it doesn't drive the bus like it used to.
35:55
Erin Gray: And I think also, too, if you want to share, you know, like, you know um.
35:59
Erin Gray: You were talking about um charging and you know, I think a lot of people say, like, well, charge what you're worth.
36:08
Erin Gray: But my view is, like we're, we're priceless, right, like I think we charge what you feel Number one you would pay for, like, without a doubt, like I would totally pay for that, and that you feel like that the perceived value is right, Like um, because I think we can get into that, like charging what you're worth.
36:26
Erin Gray: And then you're almost, like almost, from a window of tolerance, place right, like you're you're charging to a point where you're outside your comfort zone and that doesn't feel comfortable for you.
36:37
Erin Gray: Um and so, which all comes back to like worthiness and deservedness, right, like what do we feel worthy of receiving, what do we feel deserving of having?
36:47
Erin Gray: And you know, I think a lot of us, old Aaron, would say I was totally worthy of having a lot of money, but working hard for it and my, my switch had to, you know, flip to be like worthy of having money and receiving it from an easeful, fun and joyful place.
37:04
Erin Gray: You know was that kind of similar, I guess, for you in terms of yeah, the like it's okay to work hard for money, but it's not okay to to have money come to you in a yeah, easeful and yeah, without stressing and struggling.
37:20
Annie Moussu: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
37:21
Annie Moussu: It ties into the.
37:23
Annie Moussu: This other issue that I had to deal with is being able to receive support from the universe.
37:30
Annie Moussu: So if I grew up in an abusive environment where I had to figure out things by myself and become independent very quickly, I pull that into my business.
37:41
Annie Moussu: That would mean I don't need life to help me or support me or bring me ease.
37:46
Annie Moussu: I've learned to work hard for this.
37:49
Annie Moussu: So it was like I was saying to the universe no, let me do my thing, I don't need anyone to help me.
37:55
Annie Moussu: And I was unconsciously refusing the universe's support.
38:01
Annie Moussu: And so, yeah, I had to tap on old stories around that of how unsafe it was to depend on others emotionally, physically, because that would mean I'd be put down, criticized, minimized, punished.
38:15
Annie Moussu: There's just too many risks just to let go and believe that I can rest and not struggle anymore.
38:26
Annie Moussu: And so that emotional regulation is essential.
38:29
Annie Moussu: It is essential because if we don't have that foundation, then it everything's going to be very hard to do, or it's going to take a lot of effort, or it's going to take a lot of time.
38:39
Annie Moussu: The thinking will be unclear, ideas won't come very clear, it won't come very easily.
38:47
Annie Moussu: Yeah, yeah, so it, it.
38:48
Annie Moussu: It definitely took a long time to get there.
38:50
Annie Moussu: I now have work four day, uh, four day work week, and I make sure I only have um three time slots for one-to-one sessions each day, because I just do not want to do more than that.
39:01
Annie Moussu: And then I have like passive income streams as well, so that helps complement what I'm doing one-to-one um and and yeah, that's.
39:10
Annie Moussu: It's been a really long process, but I'm I'm glad to be here now.
39:13
Erin Gray: Yeah, yeah, I think it's.
39:15
Erin Gray: It's also like taking time to think about, like, what do you want, right?
39:20
Erin Gray: Like what, redefining what your definition of success is, and also, um, you know, the, the idea that there was two things that I had to realize is one I love all of the humans and I also love time by myself, right, and so, like you're saying, like you know, talking with people, I love it.
39:39
Erin Gray: And also, like, two or two or three times, you know, two or three hours a day I'm, that's it, right, and recognizing that and not forcing yourself to.
39:50
Erin Gray: Like shooting you know, the shooting comes from the mind and like you have to, and all of this, like, no, when I, when I overextend myself, I don't get to show up as my best self, you know.
40:00
Erin Gray: And so, honoring, like, how do you work best and when?
40:04
Erin Gray: When do you like to work?
40:05
Erin Gray: Right, like we're, you know, the business world is so much, like you got to get up at 5.00 AM, and like I woke up this morning, and nine, nine o'clock here, for any, what is it for you?
40:14
Erin Gray: Are you four or five o'clock now, or six, almost, maybe?
40:17
Annie Moussu: Yeah.
40:18
Erin Gray: So we did a.
40:19
Erin Gray: Typically I start work at 10 and I know that you know you might be listening and be like, well, nine to 10, it's I have come because I used to believe like you do have to wake up early, you do have to, you know, you know, rush, rush, rush and all of these things.
40:37
Erin Gray: And and if that were true, then think about all of the people that make all of the money that that don't do that you know.
40:44
Erin Gray: And so allowing yourself to like, really create, like, strip it all down right, like how do I want my business to look, like, how do I want to feel on a consistent basis, and a lot, you know, some of my stuff doesn't look like what other people do.
41:00
Erin Gray: That's okay.
41:01
Erin Gray: I think we get into this shooting right, and what you're saying, like it comes from this grounded place.
41:05
Erin Gray: When you're grounded, when you are, when you are in your body, when you feel good in who you are, then your decision-making is so much feels easier, right, because you're not in your head trying to make your decisions.
41:19
Erin Gray: You're really coming from a grounded place.
41:21
Erin Gray: So is there anything else, any that you want to say or add that maybe we haven't talked about that?
41:26
Annie Moussu: you want to add, yeah, I'd say, you know, it's been a ride.
41:30
Annie Moussu: So I didn't realize for a long time that pleasure and joy that's not necessarily tied to work is essential as well.
41:40
Annie Moussu: They're both very essential.
41:42
Annie Moussu: So for me, you know, it's mostly like nature walks.
41:46
Annie Moussu: My husband and I take walks in nature every single day, on the weekends even longer, and that's been really rejuvenating.
41:53
Annie Moussu: And then also I've you know this is coming from left field but a lot of sensual exploration that has helped me become more aligned with what I want in life and to give me that spark and the joy of waking up every day, waking up to my mission and then helping people.
42:12
Annie Moussu: So you're talking about, you know, cultivating this wellbeing and I'd say, in all areas of life, ideally that we can show up fully for our clients and for ourselves and our work and do the best work we can.
42:24
Annie Moussu: And so I've, yeah, played a lot with my sensuality and my sexuality.
42:31
Annie Moussu: My husband and I, we were constantly exploring that aspect in our relationship.
42:35
Annie Moussu: It's been one of the most beautiful um discoveries, uh, just on so many levels where we're very close Um, but it's been a wonderful way to see, through my body's wisdom, that I wasn't quite ready for pleasure or joy.
42:53
Annie Moussu: Even especially people who come from trauma backgrounds, there will be a part of them very often that feels like they don't deserve to have a happy life, even if their mind says, of course I want a happy life, of course I want a happy life, of course I want a happy relationship, of course I want enough money so that I can do what I want to do In their bodies, in mine as well, it was no, I've learned to stay small because that was what kept me safe, and so I for a long time didn't feel like I could fully step into really enjoying my time off.
43:28
Annie Moussu: So even if I had put that four-day work week into place in the beginning, it was extremely difficult to respect it.
43:37
Annie Moussu: I'd constantly work more than the hours that I had set out for myself.
43:41
Annie Moussu: So it doesn't matter what it says in my calendar, I was just going to go overboard anyway.
43:45
Annie Moussu: And then on the weekends and my time off, I'd be thinking about work all the time, about the next idea, the next offer, you know who to contact, et cetera, and so that that has also been a very huge yeah.
44:03
Annie Moussu: Turning point for me on my journey as an entrepreneur is to when I, you know, when I'm in bed with my husband just learning how to be with all of this tension in my body that I've kept during work week, and then on the weekends or in the evenings or whatever, you know, that's when we play it would just come like yeah, I'd say it just.
44:23
Annie Moussu: It would just be so evident that I had kept all of this tension up and then the you know, the orgasm would come, or the sensual play would just be so ecstatic and it was just such a vast difference from what I was bringing into my work.
44:36
Annie Moussu: My husband was saying what if you brought this energy, this heart, this, you know, this joy into your work?
44:43
Annie Moussu: Can you do something like during the week too?
44:46
Annie Moussu: To like he was encouraging me to have a self-pleasuring practice so that I just be more aligned with that sacral energy as well?
44:54
Annie Moussu: That's where, you know, our sensual sexuality, our self-confidence, creativity, and that's where their finances are as well.
45:03
Annie Moussu: That's when we feel so alive, is when us women tap into our sacral.
45:09
Annie Moussu: You know, that's where all of it happens, and that has been a huge turning point as well, in like how my finances came to me in a much more graceful way.
45:20
Annie Moussu: Like, for some reason my husband.
45:22
Annie Moussu: I would notice that after you know we'd play or something sometimes it was the day of I'd get someone who's interested in my services would sign up, or maybe a few days later someone would sign up, and we kept seeing that same repeating pattern.
45:39
Annie Moussu: This is really strange and when I read a lot more about how chakras work, and especially the second chakra, the sacral chakra, I realized, oh, there's something going on with our life force, energy, when we can let go and be a kid and play with it and let it flow through us and let it inspire us to take an aligned actions in all of life, including our business, and somehow that magnetizes people to us.
46:07
Annie Moussu: It makes us super attractive to other people because we're so awake and alive and joyful.
46:14
Annie Moussu: Yes, yes, yeah.
46:16
Erin Gray: I love that, annie.
46:17
Erin Gray: I'm like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, when we really think about it, like if we talk about, like we always, you always hear money is energy or just you know, vibration.
46:25
Erin Gray: It's like when you are in a higher vibration, right Like on a consistent basis and that's not to say that Annie and I don't feel shame or guilt or frustration or anger, right Like we're human beings and we have those emotions, but on a more consistent basis, right, the vibration that we're in is one of joy and play and fun.
46:42
Erin Gray: I have like full body chills right now, right Like, and when you were in that type, right Like, that is how things come to you, because it is, it is in that vibration, and so I'm so happy that you shared that and and and stated that, because I think for a lot of women, right Like it's, that could be a whole nother podcast we could have about right Like, about how we have been taught like pleasure is for other people and not for us, and just you know, and whatever form of play and pleasure is for you, right Like, what is that?
47:13
Erin Gray: And doing more of that because the more like I always say like nobody wins the struggle award, right Like nobody gets to the finish line is like, well, annie struggled the most, so you know she wins.
47:23
Erin Gray: It's like we need more people in the world to be love and light and you know, like, just have so much fun.
47:31
Erin Gray: Um, because I think it gives permission for everybody else to be like, yeah, that's what I want.
47:36
Erin Gray: I want to be able to, you know, have and live like that, like fun and ease and flow.
47:40
Erin Gray: So, yeah, thank you so much, annie, for your time sharing your wealth of knowledge, all of the things that you've done where can people um find out more about you or connect with you?
47:58
Annie Moussu: Yeah, people can find me at hushyourmindcom.
47:59
Annie Moussu: I have a blog and my podcast is under the same name, and then on my website you can also find my newsletter, that's.
48:01
Annie Moussu: I have a free PDF that shows people how to tap the basic sequence to help release people pleasing, which is a very typically feminine issue.
48:09
Annie Moussu: Right, that's, my main specialty is helping people with boundaries and relationships, and then I also do free, you know, 15 minute tapping sessions in exchange for an interview, and so I just ask questions to get ideas for content, and it's a very fun mutual support kind of opportunity.
48:28
Annie Moussu: So, yeah, I'd be a joy to connect with your audience.
48:31
Erin Gray: I love that.
48:32
Erin Gray: Okay, I'll put all of Annie's information in the show notes and again, thank you, annie, and thank you for everyone that's listening and watching.
48:39
Erin Gray: I appreciate you Until next time.
48:41
Annie Moussu: Thank you, Erin.
48:43
Erin Gray: Thank you for tuning in today.
48:44
Erin Gray: I appreciate you spending your time with me.
48:46
Erin Gray: I created Grow, the CEO cohort for the entrepreneur that wants to be in a community with other heart-based entrepreneurs.
48:53
Erin Gray: It's a place where we blend the 3D of money like understanding your bookkeeping and taxes and investing and how it applies to your business along with the 5D of money, like the energetics and the emotions that you feel with money.
49:07
Erin Gray: To learn more about growthy CEO cohort, you can head over to my website at generate a life well-livedcom and, as always, from my soul to yours.