Latest / The Mentor Sessions / How to Change Your Family Legacy
Transcript
- BigMike Coyle: None of us become who we're meant to be alone. Every story has people who helped write it. So let's talk about them. Welcome to the Mentor Sessions. speaker-0: Josh, welcome to the mentor sessions. Happy to have you here today. Go ahead and start and tell us a little bit about yourself. speaker-1: So I'm Joshua Jordan and I own ⁓ American Rooter and Drain here in ⁓ Caldwell, Idaho. And a little bit about ⁓ me is I grew up in the trades. I am the youngest of ten. And so when I was a kid, my my brothers were teaching me how to actually fix appliances at like five years old. And the reason why is when When I was three, my dad passed away. And so the biggest mentors, teachers in my life happened to be my brothers, my mom, my sisters that ⁓ you know, they really had to step up. ⁓ and so we ⁓ grew up in the trades and have ⁓ a company here with about fifty employees and ⁓ just love to teach and so wanted to be on your show. speaker-0: Appreciate that and I'm glad you're here and and you know, we were talking a little bit before we started and you've got a lot of ⁓ life experiences in your background. ⁓ before you started in the the trades and and helping with the ⁓ the your customers and stuff like that, as you're being raised by your brothers, what was that like? What was that experience like? speaker-1: Yeah, you know, ⁓ So the age difference between my oldest brother and me is about seventeen years and he really stepped up. So he had to drop out of high school after my dad died. And ⁓ you know, I tell this story, but ⁓ my mom, if I was riding around with her, she used to say, you know, when you'd see like old appliances on the side of the house, she'd say, Hey g Mijo, go ask them if we can have that and what we'd do is we'd pick it up, throw it in the truck and fix it in our garage and that's how we actually paid our bills. That's how we ate and and basically just survived. And and that term is rather loose because it really was just survival, just enough to to eat. ⁓ but growing up with my brother, at about seven years old I moved in with him because where we lived just wasn't a good neighborhood. And he had just started his family. And so my mom asked if I could live with him. And There's a reason why your kids age the way they do. so you can build that patience with them. So, ⁓ you know, growing up with him is a little bit rough. Yeah, I I don't think he understood what it was like to have kids and then it wasn't his kid either that he was raising. So, ⁓ you know, that was just a kind of a tough time 'cause I wasn't really sure where I fit in. ⁓ but he had to take care of me and so it was just work, always work, ⁓ no matter what. ⁓ he lived on forty acres, so If if it was a push mower of two acres, ⁓ that was what we did and then any other time it was fixing appliances and just just helping support the family. speaker-0: So you said Mijo, so your your mom is Latin? speaker-1: She is, yeah. So my mom ⁓ she's from Mexico. and ⁓ my dad is ⁓ just the typical Oregon white guy. So I look really fair skinned, but ⁓ and my mom always spoke to us in Spanish, but we'd answer in English, so I can understand it way better than I could speak it, but I can do both. speaker-0: Yeah, that must have been hard f for your brother to take on that mantle, ⁓ at pretty much a young age himself, you know, going to going from being a kid and being thrown into basically being a father figure. As you grew, what what was your relationship with him like? speaker-1: ⁓ it's you know, it starts to strain and ⁓ I kinda have a theory on this where teenagers when they start actually ⁓ figuring out that they're gonna leave the home, I think that's when they start to push back. And that's when and and I think it's just ingrained in every young man, especially that I have to do this so I can be my own man. And so about the time I was seventeen, You know, it that's that's when I was I was like, Well, you're not my real dad, you know, kind of attitude. And I actually think I probably gave him a hard time. and it isn't until you're twenty five that you're like, ⁓ yeah, I get it. Everything he was teaching me was actually right and I should've listened. speaker-0: ⁓ sometimes it's twenty five. I think my kids were a lot later on that, but that's a discussion with them. ⁓ as you were growing up, as you moved out, ⁓ how did your relationship grow with I mean, I know how it was pressured growing up, ⁓ him taking that on and you you know, you're not my real dad. and and then now you've got to step into adulthood. What was that? Transition for yourself like. speaker-1: ⁓ you know, there's a big wake up call because leaving his house and somewhere in between there is me joining the Marine Corps where you know, going through boot camp, everything's stripped down. They really do break you down from they shave your head to everyone looks the same, you dress the same, and you start to understand a few things and that's ⁓ sometimes you're not even the main character in your book. You're just a part of a cog, right? And so ⁓ understanding that kind of put me in my place. And I, you know, I'm actually a really firm believer that I think it'd be really good for a lot of young men to join the military just to get that wake-up call to realize, you know, the sun is not revolving around you the way you think. ⁓ but in between that, there was ⁓ just a lot of growing for me. And through that, there's two things that came out of it is one is I genuinely appreciated everything my brother did. And the second thing was there's still elements of him that are fairly toxic. And as I grew into even my 30s and now my forties, is I realized there's some things that I actually don't really like about him. And those elements I don't engage with. And I just it's very, how are the kids? What's going on? And ⁓ but we've we've never been really close. speaker-0: Do you think that has to do with the age difference between the two of you? Or the fact he became more of a father and maybe wasn't actually a dad. Does that make sense? Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. I I think it's both. I like I I never wanted like I didn't ever thought he would be the guy that we'd, you know, go to football games with necessarily. But I hope my relationship with my kids is a lot closer where when they reach adulthood that they're able to come and talk about certain problems of like, you know that and to come back to it is like so n this is my twenty years being married, but nobody tells you that year five through like nine are pretty dang hard, you know. And so it it's impossible almost. And so ⁓ I want I wa and I want to be that guy that will actually explain that to my kids. And so when they when they call me someday and they're like, how did you deal with this? I'll have some answers for them. And that relationship, that's what I mean is that wasn't there with him. And so the that's that's where it was a little bit different. speaker-0: Yeah, that that's an interesting thing because when we are outsiders looking in onto someone's relationship, ⁓ and when you know, my wife and I, we've been married for thirty one years. You you're coming into your twenty year marriage and it's almost like it it's a lot like raising a raising a child. There are stretches, you know, when the kids are really easy to relatively easy to deal with. ⁓ and then you go into the next cycle with them. You know, I I joke and very important that I mention it is a joke when my ki I tell people when your kid turns eleven, just drown ⁓ Because that that period from like five to eleven, that's the golden age, man. And then they become teenagers and now they want to test and try everything. And it's a whole other world and you think, ⁓ when they're out of the house it's gonna be easy again and it's not easy then. It's ⁓ it's it's all just new different challenges for for each of ⁓ like, you know, teaching your child how to walk, teaching your child how to how to use the restroom, getting them into school and teaching them how to socialize. Everything is just it's the next step. And it's the same thing with marriage because you hit those spots where, okay, we're comfortable with each other. And then now you're wanting to f find out your individual self in this relationship. You spend the first five years just trying to figure out the relationship. ⁓ and then after a while it's like, okay, now we gotta figure out how we're doing this. We gotta figure out all right, now we have kids. ⁓ how are you gonna raise our kids? And then you're it's that whole next step. And then, you know When my kids became teenagers and not just teenagers, but when they became that teenage those teenage years where they're starting to leave the house and hang out on Friday nights and Saturday nights, I remember looking at my wife one day, ⁓ one evening that we're sitting there and just watching vegging out on TV and I said, We need to figure stuff out. She's like, Well, what do you mean? I said, Here's shortly, the kids are gonna be gone and it's gonna be you and I sitting in a room and I don't wanna look at you and be like, I don't know who you are. And nor do I want you to look at me and be like, Why am I married to you? And so we've had to be inten you have to be intentional in taking that step as to, Okay, what's this next step gonna look like for us? speaker-1: Yeah. And I think those first, you know, four years is we are trying to still impress and we're trying our absolute best to be that husband. And ⁓ once you're sleep deprived and kids are screaming and everything, you start to let that go and then you forget that you still gotta date ⁓ speaker-0: Yeah, you have to date each other still. You still have to communicate with each other. And it's not always going to be just about the kid in front of you. It's about, hey, how are you? You know, what are you what what's going on with you? What are you what are you up to? What you doing? And it's fun now because as I worked in law enforcement growing up and I know running a business and stuff like that, it's it's the same way. Well growing into our marriage, I guess is a better way to put it. You're running and hustling so much, especially just trying to meet ends meet for the family. That now that I'm I'm doing this, I'm working from home. My wife is working from home. Now it's like, ⁓ hey, we get to hang out and be friends again. You know? And, you know, right now with the weather being so nice, we spend our evenings on the patio and and just chatting and and doing our own things, but we're doing them together now and it's fun. ⁓ so tell me what you learned in the Marine Corps. What was your MOS and and and what did you where'd you go to boot camp and then what'd you learn? speaker-1: Yeah, so I went to ⁓ Camp Pendleton and ⁓ I actually made it real easy on the recruiter. So I scored high on the ASVAB and they you do whatever you want. And ⁓ I actually went in with my brother and this is two thousand and five. So this is when they're making the big speaker-0: this is a younger brother, right? Right. speaker-1: To an older brother. Yep. And so ⁓ we said, We just want to go infantry. We want to do our part. And they're like, No, no, no, you don't understand. You can do whatever you want. And so ⁓ w we end up going in and ⁓ we selected like ⁓ I forget he he was ⁓ O three fifty one, but it's like a demolition type guy. And I wanted that too. I was like, We get to deal with the explosives, it's gonna be awesome. And ⁓ well I'm standing there and there's twenty seven of us and he says we need twenty five volunteers. And I knew I was I I never been that lucky, you know, so I just step over and they made us O three thirteens, which is LA V crewmen. So the LAV is an eight wheeled armored vehicle. And ⁓ I went to LAV school and that was also in Pendleton and eventually got attached a third LAR out of twenty nine palms, which If you've never been to twenty nine palms, there's there's about twenty nine palms there and that's about it. speaker-0: Yeah, it's it's a desert. speaker-1: Horrible. So I the unit we I got attached to had just come back from Okinawa, but ⁓ there was another unit, H and S company, that was gonna deploy within like three months and they were going to Iraq and so I actually switched companies, I volunteered to go with them and so my turnaround from when I got to the unit to when I deployed was about three months and then I was in Iraq ⁓ for eight months. speaker-0: Did did you only do the one tour or d how many tours did you do? ⁓ You mind sharing what those experiences were like? speaker-1: ⁓ you know, th they change both times. I and I don't know how deep we want to go, but at the frustration level kind of grew throughout because the first time we're there, there's a certain set of ⁓ rules of engagement, right? Where they're saying, Hey, if bad guys should shoot at you, you can return fire. But if they shoot at you and drop their guns, you cannot. And so having senators or having people that are thousands of miles away telling you what you could do was like really frustrating because they weren't there watching their brothers get hurt. You know? And so ⁓ I I don't know what even makes me think about that except for I think age now, thinking back of like and at the time I didn't even think of it. I was like, okay, well that makes sense. But ⁓ you know there was I the the best way to describe that is the smell. Like as soon as you land, this this hot smell just hits you and it doesn't go away for eight months. But ⁓ we met some amazing people, and we did some really cool things, but ⁓ like it with any war, you know, I lost some brothers and I wish we had ⁓ back. speaker-0: When you were over there you and and we've had another Marine on the show and and other service members and he he did a few deployments himself and we went in deep about the trauma and stuff that he suffered when he came home. When you're over there you rely so much on the person next to you, the guy next to you. And and you find some of those older guys that you want to take those lessons. ⁓ what were some of those lessons you learned from them that you think you can you still apply in your life today? speaker-1: So there was this ⁓ Master Guns that ⁓ kind of took me under his wing, which that's a big gap 'cause I was ⁓ Lance Corporal at the time. I was an E three. But what impressed him is most most ⁓ PFCs that are coming in are drivers. And you're a driver for the whole deployment, maybe even two. And I did this I did a I volunteered. He's like, Who wants to shoot to see if they can be a gunner? And I got in there and there's like thirty things you have to do before you fire this cannon. speaker-0: It's a wire guided, isn't it? speaker-1: No, this one's not. So it's a twenty five millimeter Bushmaster can so they're like ten inch rounds. It's that thing's fun. But there's there's a bunch of steps. And so I get in this thing and I had fired exactly nine rounds in school and we're about to deploy and he says, Who wants to do it? Well, I nailed it. I hit all thirty tests and I shoot I shoot three rounds 'cause you do three round bursts and all three were bullseyed. And he goes, Okay, see if you can do that again. And I do it again. And he says, one more time. And he gets out and he walks over to the So anyways I hit I hit nine bullseyes and he says, All right, get out, ⁓ clear the gun. And ⁓ he he walks straight over to the lieutenant and he says, Make this guy your next gunner. He's he's sharp. And when we actually qualled like the three weeks before we deployed, I I only dropped two rounds out of three days of the range and I I missed the actual course record by one sh one round. And so the lieutenant took me from the sergeant and made me his gunner. The reason why I tell that story is cause that master guns never forgot me. And so whenever we were deployed, he would pull me aside and he just started telling me, Hey, you're doing the right things. Make sure you do this and y and you're you can move up the ranks a lot faster. And ⁓ I don't know, it was just something about just his personality. Like I respected him so much where There's so much knowledge there that you can't help but to just lean in and try to just glean as much information as you can. And he was one of those guys for me. speaker-0: So as you leaned into him to learn as much as you can, did that did you feel like that made him more open? Like, okay, if this guy wants to learn, I want to share and I want to teach? speaker-1: ⁓ absolutely. And I think that's with any mentorship is if you're engaged while you're learning, it opens up the entire sky because ⁓ there's nothing worse than hearing I know when you're trying to teach someone, right? It's like, well if you know, you know, and I and I've jokingly said this, but I'm like, if you knew more than me, I'd work for you. So s sometimes it's just good to listen. speaker-0: Yeah, no, I you know, a as I progressed in my law enforcement career and as I would kinda help train people in the jail or when they'd come over to the courts, you'd get that same thing. ⁓ some guy that just came to the courts just came to the jail and he'd be like, Hey, this is what you need to know ⁓ I know. No, you don't know yet. Because I didn't know when I first came over. When I transferred from one facility to the other. So I started in Ogden at Weber County and then moved down to U Utah County in Spanish Fork Provo area. I had to be receptive and open to the new learning system and the new way they do things. It's not easy always, but it's what you have to do to improve and grow. And you know, when one of my best mentors is someone that when he retired and then I retired, he helped me get the job at Curtis Blue Line. And it's because of that ⁓ I asked him, I'm like, why were you always so willing to take me under your wing? And the funny thing is is and he and I just had dinner the other night. I had a hard time trusting him because he was always too nice. And I'm sure you saw this in in ⁓ the military and stuff. Someone's either being too nice because they're trying to get something out of you, or they're really genuine. And it's hard to trust people that, okay, what what's he want from me? You know, this isn't how we treat people around here. We're not genuine, we're not friendly. And he he said, he's like, I always saw you wanting to learn more. You always asked the right questions. You always ask questions, you always wanted Just a little more extra. And I feel like if you want the answers and I have them, why not give them to you? ⁓ kinda like your your gunner sergeant, you know, it it helps those situations. I think ⁓ I've never been in war, ⁓ thankfully. ⁓ it helps those situations just go a little bit easier. speaker-1: Yeah, 'cause it eventually he's he was talking to me about what to expect when you get to call home for the first time. And ⁓ you know, he it was it was simple things like that, where everybody's thinking, ⁓ is my girl running off on me? You know, as soon as you get to war. Jody. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Jody. Jody's coming. And He was very much saying, Hey, if you pick the right girl, you know everything's gonna be good but this is what you should expect when you call and make sure you say this and so he was he was really good and I didn't I didn't get a lot of time with him, but the time I had it was quality. speaker-0: Yeah. Well that sounds great. That sounds very valuable and important. ⁓ so what was it like when you first went home? speaker-1: It was like dating again. ⁓ I realized that this is the girl, because we were high school sweethearts as well. ⁓ this is the girl I've known for years, and somehow I didn't know her at all. It's it was strange. It was really strange. ⁓ and so it was I had to learn how to ask all the questions again like it was our first week. Like what do you what do you still like? What what movies do you want to go watch, you know, and ⁓ what do you like to eat? And so that that was a hard like that was a hard change. speaker-0: Yeah. So yeah, I can imagine. ⁓ what was it like for her? speaker-1: ⁓ she said I was different. And I think that's the nice way of saying, like, ⁓ you're kind of an a-hole now. And the thing is is ⁓ it was simple things would kind of set me off. And and it so when you're at war, when you're in Iraq, like vehicles have to get out of the road. And if a vehicle's coming at you fast, it means they're coming to try to blow you up. Right. And so road ragers. I it would put me on edge. People that tailgated, people that cut me off. And so it was little things like that that she was just watching and she was like, Why are you getting so mad? What's what's wrong with you? And there how do you describe that? Like this guy's too close, is he's gonna blow us up? I get you can't say that, right? And so ⁓ I had to learn how not everything, like don't let the adrenaline kick up that high. I had to learn how to actually ⁓ acclimate back to civilian. speaker-0: That's That's not easy to do. ⁓ especially coming from a high adrenaline area, you know. ⁓ I mean there were my wife talked about how ⁓ we'll talk about how much I changed when I got into law enforcement and then over time, you know, and you know, you you look at thing the world a lot differently than before then. ⁓ and and being at war has that same effect on you, I I would assume, from what I've learned. ⁓ because you don't what used to be the unexpected to you, like the car cutting you off is full of gunmen going to shoot you. That before you went, that was the unexpected But now that's the expected now. That's where your mind is and having to ch make that shift and make that change. ⁓ how long do you think it took you till you f finally felt settled back into civilian life? speaker-1: talking to my wife later on I th I think it was a good year. And ⁓ the bad thing is is th only to then start getting back to it is when we deploy again. So you're usually about a year in between. speaker-0: That's what that's what my next question was, you know, you're there for a year, you start getting acclimated, and then it's like go time and you gotta turn it all up back on. speaker-1: Yeah. And and you know what's crazy is they don't actually talk about what it does to your body. So like being a gunner, ⁓ on especially on the lieutenant's vehicle, we were the first vehicle and I'm scanning the road for IEDs all day long. And the country itself of Iraq is it's pretty trash. There's bags everywhere and and I'm looking for trash bags that look funny with wires or a plate on the road. And so we'd be going forty, fifty miles per hour, and at any given moment I could scream, stop. And my driver would slam on the brakes. Sometimes there's nothing, sometimes there's an ID. We had to actually call, you know, EOD out. But every single bag I saw, I'd feel my heartbeat go, you know, and and that was all day. And so to think about getting adrenaline spikes like that for nine straight months, I don't even know what it would do to people's body, but it can't be that healthy, you know what I mean? speaker-0: It that's one of the biggest problems and I think that's why we see a lot of ⁓ you know, cardio cardiovascular deaths and in vets and stuff like that is and in law enforcement. You you go from nothing to being on edge in a heartbeat. And I don't think our bodies are meant to to really do that too much and then it when it happens it it does take a toll. That's where, you know, from my studies and understanding and if someone's watching and corrects me, please leave a comment. But that's where we get stuff like, you know, the ⁓ the cortisol spikes and and all those ⁓ things in our body that start screwing with our mind and that trauma just latches on and then it's hard, you know. You you see something in the road and instead of thinking like What idiot dropped that in the road? You're like, what is that? You know, because we we had to start learning that stuff, ⁓ towards the end of my career. You know, hey, a bag of garbage in the road may not be just a bag of garbage in the road, and it could be a booby trap of some sort. ⁓ I don't I've yet to hear of cops killed by IEDs in the States and pray that it never happens, but you know, there's booby traps and stuff like that they they do to try to ambush cops and stuff. So You went on your second deployment. Now you're the older guy. You're the experienced guy. How did you go into that deployment at that point? speaker-1: So that one was a l ⁓ a lot more relaxed. So that was training the Iraqi police to take over. And so the action is way down, but at this point it is mentoring the other guys. And I still don't really know what sparked it, but I I was always one of the guys, especially training, and and probably the best example of this is leading up to it, is in twenty nine palms, there's places to get a haircut. Places to get tattoos and places to get a car at thirty percent interest. And that's it. And they they're just back to back to back. And so I I started teaching these young Marines how to do finance, how to actually save their money. Because I'd tell them, hey, you're not gonna be able to spend any money while you're deployed. So you're gonna come back, you're gonna be sitting on fifteen to twenty grand. Do not go to this dealership and let me tell you why. And so I started teaching them. what twenty percent, thirty percent interest looks like on a car. And especially like it'd be like a a ninety eight Mustang with flames on it that looked cool but it was a total piece of crap, you know? speaker-0: You know, it's a ninety eight with flames on it and it it looks great, but it's got a shot V six. You know. The the the gearbox is stripped and speaker-1: And so I I started just teaching ⁓ because I just I I didn't want them to fall into the trap of every other unit. So every other unit I'd be talking to ⁓ and the same thing. They're driving these jacked up trucks that they they paid ten thousand dollars more than what book was. And that was one thing that my brothers taught me is I've always been really observant and very critical and untrusting of everyone. So if somebody is gonna sell me something, I'm like, What's your angle here? you know, I I don't believe it. So ⁓ I that's where it started. I just started just talking and we started going through it. And that really helped. You know, I also had a rule don't marry a stripper. I'm sorry if that one offends you, but it's like there was probably twenty divorces that I saw the guys going through because they went to the strip club and then they're like, I'm in love. And ⁓ you know, so I j I just started telling them about that. I'm like, hey. This if this is gonna be the mother of your kids, where do you want to meet them? Where would you want that woman at? Now go there and that's where you're gonna find them. speaker-0: Yeah, I mean that's that's great advice. ⁓ you know, we we had the the joke amongst cops is ⁓ that when you're training new cops you don't date ⁓ nurses, ⁓ other cops and dispatchers. ⁓ but that's where people gravitate towards are nurses, other cops and dispatchers. And when you see marriages fail and people have affairs, it's usually one of those three categories too. ⁓ because you start thinking my wife at home doesn't get me. She doesn't understand what it's like to go through all this. I can't talk to her about it. But I can talk to you know Jane Smith over here. she knows what that's like. She's she's an ER nurse. She's she sees it too. She's a she's a cop too or, you know, and So yeah, I'd always tell cops the same kind of things. You know, the young guys like, Yeah, don't you don't do that. ⁓ now there are those that it's worked out and it's been successful and great and I I'm glad for that. But it sucks that so many of those have struggled and we have to make those rules, you know, like yeah that stripper, she doesn't love you like you think she loves you. You know, she loves that she's gonna be getting a paycheck while you're gone. Exactly. And that's where you meet Jody. ⁓ in in the jails it was Sancho. You know. And the funny thing is is I didn't know that at first and and ⁓ some dude ⁓ he was really beat up and I was like, What's going on, man? He's like, ⁓ my wife took off with Sancho and I was like, Who's Sancho? Just a buddy of mine and I thought I didn't know Sancho was the same as a Jody, you know, it's That's the dude that snuck in while you were unavailable. ⁓ and so it it cracked me up and once I learned that and you know, it's in the I think it's the Sublime song, you know, they mentioned Sancho and stuff like that. ⁓ so it it cracks me up that, you know, we all have that that person out there that's watching over your shoulders. ⁓ you're talking about financial literacy and how important that is. And w ⁓ one of the guests I was talking to the as she works with ⁓ People struggling with homelessness and ⁓ housing and food security. That's one of the things she tries to teach ⁓ She tries to teach ⁓ what credit is, what APR means, what compound interest is, how to fill out a bank form, you know? And she she talked about how ⁓ yeah, you get your money. That doesn't mean you go and cash it out. So you can flash on flash it on social media that you got your your EBT money or whatever. And I don't think you can cash out EBT. Again, I live in a bubble. ⁓ but you know, you don't flash your money, go put it in the bank, go earn that interest. Set a budget and she helps people learn how to do these things because a lot of us, you know, my ⁓ myself included, a lot of us don't learn those things. Thankfully I married an accountant who who taught me these things. But I remember, you know, when we were newlyweds before we had kids, ⁓ and we were living in Utah. ⁓ it was payday and I just got paid. There might have been some overtime on there, but as we were going south on the I-15, you know, it said St. or ⁓ Las Vegas. I was like, let's go. Let's go. And she's like, No. I'm like, I just got paid. Let's go. And she goes, We also have to pay rent. We also have to pay the water bill. We you know, she's like, you think you have that money, but you don't. And teaching that financial literacy I think is something that we don't learn like we should and it takes having ⁓ parents and and a lifestyle and I'm sure it was probably kinda hard watching you grow up with your you're living with your brother, but also you're living with a mom that was just surviving, scraping by, you know, sh if she got fifty bucks, it probably like I'm spending the fifty bucks, but not like we see it as. You know? How did those lessons affect your your your guests? ⁓ not your guests, I'm sorry. How'd those lessons affect your your your Joes and your juniors? speaker-1: of you know and but you always know which one is leaning in and to that ⁓ so I'm actually currently teaching a finance class and it's gonna be a three part to the guys in my business and we ⁓ I think there's twenty six of them in there. But on lesson one, this is what I told them. I said I need this filled out for lesson two and if you don't fill out you're not gonna be able to stay in the class. And the reason why is I I think people devalue what one they don't pay for or two they didn't earn. And so I don't want to be the guy that's sitting there trying to lecture them or have this ⁓ tell ⁓ that they're doing something wrong. I want it to be very much, hey, I I'm gonna give you something and you you tell me something back and we're gonna work through this thing together. And so ⁓ it'll be interesting because tomorrow's actually the day to see how many filled it out, how many are gonna lean in. But the ones that do I I I give it my all. Like I I I I actually think it's it and I don't know, this could be bad, but there's times I care more about them than I do me because they're leaning in. And I say that I say it that it could be bad because people that are givers will always find people that are takers. And I've been on that's happened so much in my life that I didn't even realize that. people are just taking advantage because I'm so willing to give. And so I have to now charge, meaning like you do the homework and you can come to the class. And that's not even a big, you know, that's not a big charge. But ⁓ they have to do something. speaker-0: You take a Dave Ramsey course and you're paying a lot of money, you're asking, Hey, just do the homework. What made you is this the first time you've instituted a program like this? speaker-1: No, this so this is actually the third round. But in the trades, ⁓ you know, you get a lot of turnover because guys will realize I don't really like dealing with other people's crap. Right? Like nobody actually likes that. And so it's just kind of part of the game. And I actually had to learn this too, is even though you said something once to one person, we automatically assume that everybody should know it. I said that once. And that's not the case. And we don't know what their mindset was when you told them anyways. Maybe they could have been had their head in the clouds because they were thinking about something else. And so I've made it a point where I just repeat stuff all the time, especially the really good things. So if we do this finance class, I'll do another one in six months and act like it's brand new. And if they can just gleam a little bit more information, then it's working. speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ what made you decide to take this on and offer this to your to your employees? speaker-1: You know, I I kind of assumed you would ask that question. And I was thinking of the mentors in my life. And I think and I'll just revert it back to I think your dad as a whole will either influence you for good or influence you for bad, meaning like you're either gonna want to be just like them or you'll wanna be the exact opposite. And I didn't have a ton of mentors and so I wanted to be that mentor. I I always used to say, I wish somebody would have taught me this when I was your age. And I actually told all of ⁓ just last week as I said, I wish I had me at your age, because I would have just leaned in. I would have I would have took any information that I had. And I think that's my driving force is the fact that I just I wanted it so bad that I'm gonna do it. speaker-0: So you were the Marine that bought the ninety eight Mustang at thirty percent interest, is what you're saying. speaker-1: No, I luckily I didn't do that. So so I was good with money ⁓ before and but I got married right after my first deployment. And and so all of my deployment money went into the wedding. And I was broke two days so we got married ⁓ it was like two weeks after I got back from Iraq. But it was a I didn't know that you had to wait around for a week to ⁓ Decompressed, they won't let you just go home. And so I almost missed my own wedding because my wife had or yeah, my wife had been planning it the whole nine months. And so when they released me, I had one day to go get fitted for a tux and the next day was the wedding. And from that point it was okay, now we need a couch, now we need everything. And just like that I was broke again. speaker-0: Right. It's like when you bring your kids home for the first time. Exactly. You know. ⁓ I had money. ⁓ what do you mean I need six boxes of diapers and ⁓ onesies and blankets and stuff like that? A crib and a changing table. What I don't know what a changing table is, you know. Yeah, so that that's very awesome. ⁓ when you teach these courses, do you invite like their spouses in with them too to come and listen if if they're married or have a spouse or a partner? speaker-1: ⁓ so we've given the offer and in fact ⁓ I had two different guys that said, I need my wife to be here. Like I I I don't even know what you're talking about speaker-0: I'd I'd be that guy. I would be that guy. speaker-1: And s and so we give the offer, but we we also do it at ⁓ seven AM and most of the guys are also like, Well, my wife doesn't get up before nine, so ⁓ good luck with that. speaker-0: Yeah, I've had early mornings because I've been interviewing people different time zones and stuff. So this whole week it's been great. I'm excited about it. But my mornings have been so dang early that I'll go in, I'll finally get done and she's still in bed. I'm like, man, I'm so jealous, you know. ⁓ 'cause I'll be up late all night preparing and everything and then w I crawl into bed and she's already out and I'm like, I just want that much that little more sleep. So yeah, I get that. ⁓ so What kind of success rate are you having with your employees? speaker-1: ⁓ well let me just tell you a story of one of the kids. So he actually came to work for me when he was sixteen. And he he's a sharp kid, but he ⁓ he had already graduated, so he he was passing all the classes and he wanted to get into the trades. He's twenty now, still works for me. He has two different rentals and he's married and the kid i is just thriving. And so ⁓ but all of that stemmed from having those conversations with a sixteen year old saying, Hey, you're gonna start making more money. The b the better you get at this trade, you're gonna start getting paid more. And I don't want you driving ⁓ you know, a a piece of crap car with spinners on it or something, right? And so he really leaned into it and his very first thing he bought was a duplex. And he kind of fixed it up and now then he rented it out and then he bought another house. And that's the kind of success, which again, it's you're probably still at like 10 to 20 percent that it really changes. But we talk about this every day. And I mean literally every day. I say, how are we gonna change your family tree? What are we doing today that's gonna change your family tree? And so I it's just a numbers game. If I can get that number to three or four guys, that's huge. I'd be happy with one, but if I can get touch three or four different lives, it'll ch it'll change a little life forever. speaker-0: You know, that's such a powerful question to ask because that can go into so many different spheres in people's lives. ⁓ for some and it it's financial. You know, they watch their parents struggle, they watch their parents living paycheck to paycheck, making ends meet. For others it's their lifestyle and and what they were raised in and the abuse they suffered and stuff like that. And you know, one of one of the things that made me realize I needed to retire from law enforcement, ⁓ I was the the bailiff in the court and ⁓ this kid came in and he's like, Hey, hey, you're coil, right? And I was Yeah. Hey, my my mom and grandma told me to tell you hi. And I was like, Well, who are they? And the fact that I had been doing the job long enough that ⁓ I dealt with grandma, mom, and I kinda remember when this kid was a youngster coming in to visit his mom and now he's there. It's like all right y you're seeing the generational trauma where people aren't changing their family tree. speaker-1: And what if we can flip it from going the wrong direction to to actually like literally changing it. ⁓ the interesting thing about that young man is ⁓ three of other brothers all work for us too. And so I have four of the brothers. But their dad was a long haul trucker that just drove. He was r almost never there. They come they have a pretty big family and they're making and and again it's not the money, but they're they're They're setting themselves up. They all have they're married, they have kids, they're like they're building the life that they wanted that their dad, they like they wanted their dad home. They wanted and they're they're actually creating that life. And that's powerful. And so every day I get up and I judge my success, not after like whether or not we made money, it's how many lives did I actually affect, how many people did I touch today. that they're gonna be better off having known me. And I think I think that's when that's your mission, you start looking at everybody a little bit different. You wanna mentor everybody. speaker-0: Yeah, well when that's your your mission, it gives you a totally different outlook on life because we do chase so much of the ⁓ accolades of life, the promotions, the not trashy jacked up truck with the spinners, you know, the nice version of that, you know. ⁓ I I like to call it like the big boy version of that truck. ⁓ You know, I I was so excited when I got the truck that I have now. ⁓ and I call it my grandpa truck, because that's what it is. It's not jacked up, you know, it it it does everything I needed to do, and it's paid for. And, you know, it's a grandpa truck, and I love it, and I love that title of it, you know, that that's what that is. and that was you know, you asked me before the show, like what made you want to do this? And it was one of those things where when I was in law enforcement, I knew I was making a a difference in someone's life. I would have those people tell me, Hey, thanks for being there. Hey, thanks for listening. ⁓ Hey, thanks for keeping me safe. You know, ⁓ in the court and stuff like that. ⁓ I had I I had an attorney where the two attorneys from opposite ends were getting into a heated shouting match and I was like, Go for a walk. You need to go And that attorney came back to me and repeatedly said, You saved my career. Cause I if I had kept going, it would have gotten really bad. You saved my career. So it's those moments like, Hey, I did something good today. ⁓ that if we s I think if more people started chasing those and the impact that they're having with their employees and the impact that they're having in the world, I think we'd have a lot different world we live in. Instead of ha you know, chasing ⁓ the the gold at the end of the rainbow, basically. You know, I I t I was talking the other day on one of my ⁓ social media posts. I said we we always think about what's the date destination and we forget ⁓ the journey is the adventure. That's where we need to enjoy. But we need to enjoy impacting people's lives and and I appreciate that message and and the work that you've done. ⁓ What are some other things that you've done to work to impact other people's lives? speaker-1: Probably the best class to date that I've ever done. ⁓ I actually brought my wife in and we did a QA with everybody. And because a lot of these guys are hearing the same things that my wife asked. Like, why do I feel like a single mom? You're you work all the time. Why why why do you have to go ⁓ Go fishing on the weekend and leave me alone and you know, and why don't we date anymore? And after 20 years, I I'd like to think we got it figured out, but I think we got a lot more adventures. me and my wife, right? But ⁓ so we brought her in and they got to ask her, How did he how did he get you across the finish line on that issue? What did you guys do? And so she started answering them. And and think about it, if you could actually ask your wife, hey, what's bothering you? And they were honest, that's what they got with my wife. And so it was huge. Like they a bunch of the guys came back and they said, Can she come back in? Will she do that again? Because it wasn't it it was asking their wife, but asking my wife the questions. And so the relationship class, we've done that one. ⁓ I did ⁓ I don't know if you ever read the book ⁓ greatness. It's ⁓ speaker-0: Sure sounds familiar. speaker-1: It's an all white book and he talks about how he was working with ⁓ I wanna say like Tim Duncan and I think he worked with Michael Jordan at one point. speaker-0: Okay, I know who you're talking about now. speaker-1: Book we I bought the book for everybody in the company and we literally read it chapter by chapter over ⁓ probably ten days and then we debriefed on the book. What does this mean? How are we how do we become great? So we've done that three different times with three different books. We did Miracle Morning, which was an awesome book, ⁓ Did Greatness, ⁓ and then we did David Godgins' book, Can't Hurt Me. And so i all those things I keep doing with all these guys because Again, I think that chip on my shoulders, I just wish somebody would have done it for me. speaker-0: Going back to my limited experience in the trades, ⁓ like I said, when I first was first married, I thought I wanted to be a plumber, and so one of my first jobs was in a shop like yours, you know. And the morning conversations were nothing like it's you're describing it with your guys. ⁓ I would never and and knowing some of the people I worked with and their limited education and their limited life backgrounds, I was one too. I was a freaking newlywed with one year old twins at home. Well, they weren't even a year old by that point, you know. You know, you talk about the sixteen year old and his brothers that work for you now. And I'm I'm astounded you got a sixteen year old to listen to you at all. You know, so kudos to that. I have to ask And you mention ⁓ I wish I had someone like that when I was that age, when I was growing up. You lost your dad. You didn't get to experience that. You were being raised by a single mom and then by a brother who also lost his dad. ⁓ And then you went to the Marine Corps and I think that's probably where a lot of your life education came from was in the Marine Corps and those leaders and mentors that you had there. When you bring these guys into the shop, do you explain to them what they're getting here? ⁓ and that it's not just going to be you come to work, you go home, but you're bringing them into your home and your family. speaker-1: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. So I I ⁓ if you came into our shop, it would be the cleanest plumbing company you've ever seen. Like it it's everything. Everything's just clean, it's organized. ⁓ but I have a rule and it's it's fairly simple. If I wouldn't let this person take my kids fishing, they don't work there. So th the baseline is they have to be just a good person. 'Cause I can I can teach you how to plumb, I can teach you how to fix something, I can teach you almost anything having to do with business. But I can't teach you to be a good person if it's not already ingrained, if if you don't want it. And so ⁓ with that being said, it it changes everything. The dynamics way different. Because of that, everybody leans in and then we hold each other accountable. So I have ⁓ I put a full gym upstairs above all my offices. And the guys that actually show up and work out, if they miss a day, you better believe they're like, Hey, where were you? We missed you. You better get in there. I don't care what your excuse was, you know. And that kind of brotherhood, it changes the entire culture of the business. And you know, companies talk about culture all the time. Right. And ⁓ I don't think they understand what that means. It's just a word. It's just what is the culture where I tell my guys, the culture is not with me. It's what you're doing. When I'm not watching, that's the culture that actually is growing. And so you have to mind what you say, how you react to problems, especially, because every day is a problem. We're fighting fires. It's emergency service. You know, it's floods. It's everything that's going wrong. And how you react is how the two people beneath you are gonna react. it's floods. everything that's going wrong. how you react is how the two people beneath you are gonna react. And that's how you build the culture. And that's how you build the culture. You don't do it from just saying like, ⁓ we have a good culture. Let me put this on a radio ad. speaker-0: So if I could ask w what's your turnover like? speaker-1: ⁓ speaker-0: Like you said, not everybody wants to chase toilets all day long. speaker-1: Yeah, so that that's an awesome question. We still get pretty good turnover. However, it's always one of two things. One is they'll say, Hey, my dream, and this actually is a true story. One one young man said, I want to be a cop. And he told us that for three years. And I said, When are you gonna do that? And he's Well, I don't know. I really like this job. And if this isn't like a form of love, I don't know what is, but I fired him. So he could go chase his dream. And I and I wanted to keep him. He was great. But I'm I'm just such a believer that our time is so limited that's so precious time is that if not now, when? And if not if not me, then who? And so ⁓ I actually fired him so he could go do it and it was really cool because like two months ago. So he had to start in the prison. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: And then two months ago he just messaged me and he says, Hey, I'm officially a cop and I said, All right, let me know ⁓ or I'll let you know if I'm driving through that city so to make sure you don't pull me over or something. I ⁓ Parma. speaker-0: Where's he a cop at? That's awesome, man. That's awesome. Did did when you said, Hey, I'm firing you, was it so you can go do this? speaker-1: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ yeah. And and that's happened a few times. I I swear there's there's more ex employees that reach out to me than current because they're like, hey, you changed my life and you pushed me to to be better. And ⁓ I don't know, I I think it's pretty cool. I th I like that that really fulfills me, that fills my cup, honestly, is hearing that stuff. And then the other guys that don't work out, it's they'll weed themselves out. I mean it's it's hard being around really strong good men all the time where they're not talking about ⁓ you know, chasing like girls, right? If if they're if they even talk like that, like, hey, I'm gonna go do this or I got a bunch of girl they don't work for me. And it's really that simple. It's like, Hey, you have to be a good person to be here. speaker-0: Yeah. Man. How long's your company been around? So I'd speaker-1: I bought the company seven years ago. No. No, it was it was ⁓ so McCrae has been in Idaho since nineteen forty-five. And it the original dad owned it and then he passed it to three of his sons. The last son, Mike, had three daughters and they got married and moved away. And he was ready to retire. So I actually bought the business in twenty nineteen. And ⁓ since then it's it's just been speaker-0: franchise then? No. speaker-1: Me, that's running it. speaker-0: So what were you doing before this? speaker-1: ⁓ I was working for my sister doing HVAC here in the Treasure Valley. And I actually tried to buy their business and 'cause they were moving to Colorado. And I don't know why. They made it real difficult. And eventually I and I even told him I was like, Look, if you don't sell it to me now for what I'm offering, it's not gonna go anywhere 'cause I I had been running it for ⁓ at that point. And ⁓ Yeah, sure enough, they moved away. The manager they hired ran it into the ground and I still ended up buying it but for like a couple of bucks at that point. So I mean that was that's just a fun story to tell 'cause I I it was still on my like my vision board. I still wanted that company and I ended up getting it, but completely different of how I envisioned getting it. speaker-0: What made you decide this is how you wanted to run your company? speaker-1: If you've ever worked for any place and you just write down the things that annoy you, you'll start to find that eventually it might outweigh why you actually go there. It it may come down to there's like everything here is bad. The one good is they write me a check every week. And I had been in a couple of jobs where it was that was exactly what it was. And I said, What if we had a company where there was ten good things and one or two bad things? And the one or two bad things are like playing in human feces is not a fun thing, you know what I mean? Like there's nobody that's gonna say that's the fun part. speaker-0: Like I said, I did that job. and some of some of the houses that I saw still haunt me, you know, going under ⁓ what would they call a cellar, but it was more like a crawl space at at my size and seeing that that pipe had been leaking there for a long time before either they noticed the problem and Yeah, it's not good. So that is that can be the worst part of the job. One of my better, funnier stories was ⁓ it was Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve, I remember it's around that time, and the ⁓ maybe it been might have been Easter. Anyhow, ⁓ grandma's sink was full of potato peels and she still had a lot of cooking to do and it the sink you know, and that was a quick easy fix, right? Just getting the it I think everything was just clogged up there in the P trap, maybe a little bit beyond, but ⁓ those are the houses that you go to and you're like, okay, I can do this one You know? So Josh, it's been phenomenal talking to today. ⁓ I know I've learned a lot and I'm sure a lot of people have learned a lot. You almost make me want to go back and and work for it, but I think I'm gonna stop by the shop one day and and talk to you guys there 'cause it's just What a phenomenal place to and and a phenomenal experience to help people grow and You know, even though no matter how long they're with you, you're giving them life lessons that we want so much in life and and ex opportunities we all want so much in life. ⁓ Is there anything y else you want to share with the share with the the crowd? speaker-1: No, I well, you know, the I think every single day we get the choice of we can be great and try to actually change our family tree or we can choose to be victims. And if you just lean into being great, it's actually almost just as easy as being a victim, you know, of of saying woe is me and that's Of all my learning experiences, of all the butt kickings life has given me, that's the one thing that ⁓ that's the one thing that it's taught me. Is just wake up, renewed, new day, new adventure. Yeah, stuff's gonna come at you, but just ⁓ you just got to keep moving forward and be a good person. Yeah. So, no, that's it. And I and honestly, we'd love to have you stop by. I mean, ⁓ we love giving our shop tour and speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ so the closing question I like to ask people, if they were watching right now, who's one mentor in your life that you want to thank? speaker-1: It would be it'd be my brother. Yeah, it'd be my brother. ⁓ because good or bad, he taught me everything I wanted to become. And I d I don't know. I think when you think of mentors, it's always always for the good, but you also can learn speaker-0: so much you learn so much and we've had a couple of episodes talking about that where it's like it you're learning from the people you don't want to be like. You learned the kind of shop you want to have. You know, okay, what if the shop has instead of one good thing, it has ten good things and the lot and two or three bad things. You know, so Josh, it's been phenomenal talking to you. ⁓ I'm glad our friend mutual friend Mike hooked us up. ⁓ So we could get to know each other. I'm deeply impressed and grateful that I have this opportunity. So thanks for coming on the mentor sessions and sharing your story. And and remember, you can either ⁓ wake up a victim or you can wake up wanting to change the family tree. So take that life lesson with you today. Thank you, Josh. I appreciate you.