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31: Enjoy the Ride w/ Pastor Julian Hayes · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living
• 0:15
  I have no clue where to even start with today's guest. My, my transformation was bananas, but pastor Julian or pastor Jew, as he goes by blows my story away. I met this guy years ago and he was an exact, he was an executive protection, basically like the secret service. He's a real bad, tough guy. However, now he's turned his life over to God and spreading his word. His smile lights up any room.
• 0:40
  And he's handsome as can be. I suggest you follow him on social media and tune in to him on Sunday's worship service. You'll walk away inspired. Welcome to the Heart of Life podcast, my brother, Julian Hayes. My brother. What's going on, man? How you feel? I feel...
• 0:55
  I'm so happy to see you. I don't even know. I prepared some questions, but I just have a feeling that this is going to go wherever because I feel your love. I feel your energy. You know, you and I go way back, had many conversations when you were when you were working at the with Ryan and you were you were amazing man back then. But now tell me what's your story and why does it matter?
• 1:20
  Well, let me just be completely transparent today. I just want to let everyone know, this is Harder Than Life podcast, and I've had a roller coaster with my life. I was on the fourth of...
• 1:36
  fourth son of five boys to my mother. And we grew up in the urban city of Detroit, Michigan. And she was, my mother's Miss Aletha Hayes. I always want to shout her name out because she was a woman that was dedicated on making sure that her boys
• 1:55
  become successful in each and every way she could possible, understanding our atmosphere, understanding our surroundings. She still made sure that we were pushing to get to the point in life where we'd be successful in everything that we do.
• 2:13
  Is she still alive? Yeah, she's still there. What a great name, Aletha. Yeah, yeah, Aletha. Shout out to your boy, Aletha. He's a good boy. So, again, you went from executive protection and now you're a pastor. Talk to me. Tell the listeners about that.
• 2:29
  I got a shot on Ryan Lepper. You know, that's our brother. That's our brother. He, um, gave me an opportunity, uh, that blew my mind. So I, at one point in time, I was in the streets doing street things. Just put it like that. And, um, I was very successful doing it. And, um, I, you know, I had a, got married and had a son and, um, I wanted to trans, you know, transfer my life into a better lifestyle. And, um,
• 2:57
  I actually just went and got a regular security job. I, it was being, it was, I thought it was kind of beneath me. I'm being honest with you. And, um, but I trusted the process. I trusted what God had for me. And because I didn't even know one thing I didn't want to do. I would, I didn't want people, uh,
• 3:15
  busting in my doors and I didn't want and I couldn't tell on nobody. So I said, let me go ahead and just change my life. And I got the security job. I was there for a while. And Ryan came in and took over the company.
• 3:30
  And based upon him taking over the company, he's seen something in me where I went from just a regular security job to being, I say, his executive protection. And went from a certain amount of money to a six-figure salary. And he...
• 3:46
  He literally trusted the God in me and trusted me as an individual where I literally was his right hand man. Everything he did, you know, his moves and things like that, I was right there. I helped push the agenda wholeheartedly.
• 4:04
  That was, you were working for a non-profit. He raised, I think he doubled or tripled the income at that place. Oh, for sure. So he did really well. And we were doing the, National Technology Management was doing the IT, that was fun times. For sure. But since then, we've all kind of gone our separate ways.
• 4:24
  What took you to, I mean, you've always been a man of God. We've always talked about that. But what took you to become a pastor? It was always in me, Kelly. It was always in me. I think the...
• 4:36
  going through the, this court, the corporate or the business side of things, um, set me up administratively for the church. Um, I had, you know, I had the, the witness in me. I had the, the drive in me the whole time, but I didn't have the administrative portion altogether. And I believe me, you know, being there, um, and working, uh, closely with Ryan, it allowed me to do and learn administration on steroids. And, um, so now I, you know,
• 5:06
  um God literally told me this is the time to do it according to popular opinion you don't start a church after the pandemic because if you do the analytics churches were closing left and right during the pandemic because people weren't coming
• 5:24
  And I trusted God, trusted the process. And based upon me doing that, we're thriving and we're growing. You're the sole pastor? I'm the senior pastor of the church. And what's the name of the church? I Live Church. I live, it's off of six, seven?
• 5:40
  It's between six and seven mile and, um, on Wyoming, one eight, nine zero one. Wyoming. I tune into your, to the, I want to come one of these Sundays. I just, I always have my daughter and, uh, I want to come, I tune in online and I, I love it. I, and then you do your Tuesday night things. Yep. Yep. I love those. I do it from the house. Yeah. So it's just, you have to, what I've learned kills is that you have to adjust. One, one, one thing I don't, I don't do is that I don't, I don't complain. I just, uh,
• 6:10
  If you sit and complain, you allow your complaints to make excuses for you. And that's one thing I don't do. I expect to live, and if I expect to live, I have to adjust in areas of my life that sometimes you cannot identify at face value. So no victims allowed, and that's real talk. Is that your overarching message, the real theme of the take? What are the...
• 6:37
  I've listened to somebody that just tunes in for the first time. What are they going to take away from Pastor Jew? What they're going to take away from Pastor Jew, that's a good question, Kels. What they're going to tune in and see from I Live Church and Pastor Jew is you're going to see somebody that's going to keep it completely real with you. What I've learned, Kels, is that people don't kill you for being human. They kill you for being perfect.
• 7:03
  Mark, let me lay that out for you. I was completely quiet. Where's he going with this? First of all, nobody's going to kill me. When I say kill you, meaning people have...
• 7:17
  They criticize you based upon when you come and present yourself perfect in front of them. But when you give them an opportunity to say, I have human moments, that I'm dealing with some of the things that you're dealing with, then they will understand when you make a mistake or anything, they won't kill you for being perfect.
• 7:38
  Or they would but they will understand that you have human moments also. And so I said that to say this is that pastors all across the country have sometimes deal with certain issues based upon them having this perfect perspective or people deeming them perfect in the eyes of people.
• 7:55
  But they don't understand, people don't understand that you have faults too. You have issues too. You have things that you need to, you need the Savior to make sure that you are, he's considering for you also. And so when they see Pastor Jude, they're going to see somebody that's going to keep it completely 100. That's why I believe my church is growing, is because I get up there on every Sunday basis and let them know, hey man.
• 8:20
  As I'm praying for you, pray for me. I have some issues. I have thoughts. I have things also. And I'm going to preach the good news. I'm going to push the agenda and let them know that there is a Savior out here for your life, that you don't have to do this thing on your own. And I understand that life can be hard.
• 8:40
  But we have a conduit. We have an avenue we can take to make sure that when life becomes hard, that you don't have to break in the process. Well said, Julian. Well said. I...
• 8:54
  I got to tell you, I'm so proud of you. I love you. I, I, I can't even say enough on how our, our paths crossed so many years ago and here we are again. And it's so good to see you. I get these random FaceTime calls from you and you're in the middle of some kind of thing. You're like, Hey, you got to meet my people. So you're always looking out for me. You're always sending blessings my way. And I'm always thinking of you and sending them back to you. And let me tell you this, let me thank you publicly because you were definitely a mentor of mine. Um, I,
• 9:21
  If you ever want to know how God thinks about you, let him put you around certain people. He'll show you how he thinks about you when you when he allows you to meet certain people and cross certain paths. And I want to thank you publicly because there have been conversations to this day that we've had that I will come back and then come back to my remembrance. And I will know how to adjust in that moment because of the conversation you and I had. So I want to thank you publicly.
• 9:49
  because God didn't make a mistake when he put us together. I got to tell you, I made a list of the top 25 podcast guests before I even started this, and you were on it. Wow. Because I just had to send it to someone who said, let me help you get some of the bigger guests. Okay. And they're like, who's Julian Hayes? I was like, don't worry, I got them coming.
• 10:11
  I just knew that I had to have you, and we've had tremendous conversations, and there's just... I want the world to know who you are, but we're just...
• 10:21
  I've been out with you before you were a pastor. Oh, for sure. We've had some fun. For sure. We went to that one of those Thanksgiving, we had just a blast at a football game and we went to Capitol Grill. And that was one of the best nights I've had. We were safe and we were fun and we had a driver and it was just a blast. But if you could give your 18 year old self one specific piece of advice, what would it be? Enjoy the ride. Ooh.
• 10:47
  Enjoy the ride. Sometimes we beat ourselves up so much because we want to correct mistakes. Not understanding you have to learn the lesson that comes with the mistake. What I learned, Kels, is that in life you have to be a student, but you don't have to be a student forever.
• 11:09
  Eventually you have to teach the lesson. So my 18-year-old self, what I would do is I probably wouldn't change anything because the ride has adjusted me from right where I am right now. That's great advice. That's perfect advice. Life is a roller coaster.
• 11:26
  You're going to have ups and downs. You're going to learn more from the downs and the ups. All too often, we have people on a merry-go-round. I love it. They're just going to puke and get borks. It's the same thing. It's so mundane. That's kind of why I'm here. It's crazy you say that. But when you're riding the roller coaster, I would recommend ride the roller coaster with your hands up. What you're doing, you're basically saying, I'm surrendering to the ride.
• 11:52
  I'm enjoying the ride and I'm adjusting to every turn, every curve that comes with it. And a lot of times people try to get off the ride too early.
• 12:02
  But you forgot you signed up for this. You stood in the line for this. Ride the ride, but just ride it with your hands up and surrender to every curve and every turn that you got to make. So I know that you're a man of God because I wrote that in my journal this morning. So somebody was looking over my shoulder. I said, Siegel, for God's sake, surrender already. I'm always trying to fight.
• 12:22
  everything and resist what we resist persists. And I just want to surrender. So do you have any advice on people that are having trouble with surrendering? That's probably being honest with you, that's probably their problem. And that the surrender, what I've learned about surrendering is that if it's, if it's God's will, he's going to make it happen anyway. You, what you're doing is delaying the process of,
• 12:52
  even longer when you're not surrendering. If you surrender, you can actually expedite the process. But you're going against the grain or you're trying to figure out how I can do it my way and how I can, you know, you're doing it out of your own will. It's going to always be a delayed process. And you're holding up on what God has for you by doing it your way. And my question is, is how has that been getting you?
• 13:22
  Well, I'm living pretty good, but I'm not living in alignment like I want to. I'm living a little bit in the future than the present. I just want to be right here right now because we're not guaranteed tomorrow. I stole your stuff. I got to tell you, I've never said this to you. I love when you call me Kels. I don't know. You're the only person that ever calls me that, and I've always loved it. And I don't know why. You just make me smile, make my heart smile. I don't think I was...
• 13:46
  uh vulnerable comfortable enough being vulnerable back in the day we had to be big tough guys you know Ryan's always trying to be the tough for sure I call him baby brother now because he's younger than me and I'm bigger now he gets so mad at me so uh yeah I say baby brother and I give him crap um who are some of your heroes or mentors um
• 14:05
  I have a few. Ryan Lepper, Kelly Siegel, guys named Dwight Dobbins. I have a few names I can drop all day. God has blessed me to bump into some amazing people. He's aligned my future up with people in my pathway that has gone.
• 14:29
  geared me and had really seen the potential in me. And it's just, I have a lot of them, Kels. I'll be talking all day. Oh, I know that. When I say mentors and heroes, and then a lot of them don't have big names. It's just people that I could be sitting at the restaurant and they had dropped something in my ear that will literally catapult me to my future. I love it. What inspired you to the pulpit?
• 14:56
  Well, I'll tell you the truth, I was running from it because, you know, I felt as if I was not prepared for it. I felt like I had a whole bunch of faults and had a whole bunch of issues that will actually take me the opposite way. And what I've learned about God, that he chooses you faults and all.
• 15:15
  When he made you, he knew when he created you, Kev, you were architecturally structured. He took the Bible tells us he took his time with us. And so everything pertaining me, he already knows about me. There's no secret I can give God about me.
• 15:35
  And that's what I love about him is that I and that's what drew me to the pulpit is that he's given me so much ammunition to tear down the enemy's territory. And I what the word tells me that the power of life is at the tip of my tongue. So what that means is at the tip of my tongue is either my funeral or my resurrection.
• 15:58
  So that's why it's very essential. You have to monitor what comes out of your mouth because your words start becoming, you start is the framework of how your life will look. And so you have to make sure that the words that come out of your mouth, they, they are life. Then you're not speaking death over your life because if you do, you'll start looking at some things and you'll start signing yourself up for some things that you never want to approach your life. Oh,
• 16:26
  Man, I love that. What was your first sermon on? Do you remember? Yeah, my first sermon was Job. I'll never forget it. And the message was entitled, I'm built for this. Oh. I'm built for this. So I dealt with Job. The story of Job talks about literally he had to deal and encounter a whirlwind of things in one day because God brought his name up.
• 16:55
  There'll be some things in your life kills that you will feel as if hell is trying to run up on you. But you don't understand. And that moment, really, God is really bragging on you because he feels as if anything that comes your way, you're ready to endure it. And so that's what I've dealt with that.
• 17:16
  When Job had to face those storms and face the tribulations, when you get a chance to read that, it's a very amazing story. That when it was all said and done, he was built for everything that came his way. A lot of people don't understand what you're facing right now.
• 17:34
  It's not because, you know, God has, he's demeaning you or he has pressure on you. No, he wants to show you how much you have in you and that you're able to go through anything in life and overcome it, man. You're blowing my mind because you know what? Every time everything gets tough for me, I literally look up at this guy, go literally another test. You know, I'm built for this. Come on. I say that.
• 17:58
  I've passed every test. We've all passed every test. So I literally do look at me. What are you trying to teach? And then I'll ask the next second question. What are you trying to teach me? Come on. You can't have a testimony without a test.
• 18:11
  You can't, you can't have a testimony without a test. And what I love about God though, is that sometimes in the test, the teacher does not talk during the test. You know why? Because they feel as if they have given you everything that you need to pass the test. But what I love about God is that even though he's might not be talking to me in this moment, he's still in the classroom.
• 18:42
  Wow, Jules, you're so inspiring. How much work did you do to be this good? Because you just didn't drop security and then just pick up the Bible. Talk about the back story. What did you do? Did you have to go to school? Did you have to study? What did you have to do? And then where do you get? I've listened to a lot. Eric...
• 19:08
  Thomas is the hip-hop preacher. He's not even as motivating as you. He's going to yell at me for that because he's a Detroit guy, too. E.T. Yeah, E.T., great guy. And then, you know, Jason Wilson? He's a local Detroit guy, too. I'm chasing him. He's a real nice guy. He wrote Battle Cry. Anyways, you're trying to be Julian. You're doing a great job of it. Tell us what it took to become from Executive Protector to Pastor Jew.
• 19:38
  pain, struggle, and endurance. Pain, let me repeat it, pain, struggle, and endurance. Built for this, right? Yeah. Pain, people run from pain, but don't understand that your pain is really trying to take you somewhere.
• 20:00
  And we and we don't sometimes we allow it to take us to places where we don't belong. But if you if it's something it's something called healthy pain.
• 20:12
  Whereas pain, this pain is healthy for you. So like if you were in a boxing match and you're fighting and then, you know, say your eye get busted or something like that, the cut man in the corner will have to do what? Kind of cut your eye so you can see better. And so what that means, that means in that moment, that's healthy pain.
• 20:34
  So sometimes you have to hurt to see better. That's why sometimes it's good for somebody that, you know, the breakup was good for you. So you might have to hurt now. See, I always say this, Kels, I'd rather hurt, deal with the hurt now than deal with the murder later.
• 20:49
  So if I got to cry over it right now, but I'm still able to pick up and go and still live after the fact, then I'd rather deal with that now. And the pain pain has taken me places, man, where, you know, I felt, you know, certain people would I thought they would be there. You know, the people you can count on, depend on hurt me, hurt the hell out of me.
• 21:12
  And but it took it let me know that if they couldn't be there or they wouldn't be there. God said he will always fill that void. And he was always filling that void and helping me to understand that there was better on the table. And he never left me, man. And based upon him never leaving me, I was always able to adjust temperatures and just adjust my atmosphere. And it's been working. It's been working for me, man.
• 21:40
  I would say pain is the portal to growth. Ooh, I love that. So to go from someplace bad to better, you're going to pass through worse. Ooh, I love that. It just has to go. Oh, you've got to invite me to the church. I'll be the white Jewish chosen one there and be like, hey. You coming. I love it. I'm setting up something. I love it. Tell us something that you believe in that almost no one agrees with you on. That's a good one.
• 22:08
  that no one agrees on with me on. Hmm. That's a good question. Um, I would say that this, what I've learned is that sometimes the best, your best season and your worst season is in the same season.
• 22:26
  You're killing me. Okay. Explain. Because I swear to you, I just came off the best season, and then I feel like I'm coming out of the worst season, but now I think I'm in this best and worst season. So explain. Most of the times your best season and your worst season is in the same season. It's because, first of all, you can't articulate what's going on right now.
• 22:46
  You can't put a definition. You're blowing my mind. This is getting weird. Have you been at my house? You see my cameras or something? This was the act of God. I believe it. Sometimes you can't put definition or define what you're looking at right now. And so now it's in your head or your mind, you feel like, what's going on? This is the worst season of my life. Because as men, we try to be proactive rather than reactive.
• 23:11
  And so we try to be ahead of the game before certain things approach us. And so what we do is is literally take God out of the equation when he when he he says the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. That means everything that he has assigned for my life has already been taken care of. All I got to do is keep on living. If I keep on living, I'm going to get there.
• 23:36
  And it's already established for me. It's already set up for me. And what we do is sometimes we...
• 23:43
  We misconstrue the process. How do we do that, Kels? It's because- The ego. Ego, our self- Self-justification. That self-justification and our own motives. See, a lot of times our motives get in the way of what God's true intent is for our life. Which is the ego. Ego, for sure. So they marry each other, for sure.
• 24:08
  What we need to do, and when I say the best season and the worst season, the same season, is to find out and adjust our lives to what God ultimately has for us. What is that? His plan, his will, and his purpose. If I get his plan...
• 24:24
  In my life, I know I'm going to be fine. If I adjust my plan to his purpose, I know I'll be well. And if I continuously and perpetually do that, there's no good thing that he will withhold from me. Everything that he has for me is already prepared for me.
• 24:43
  That's deep. When was your good and bad season? When was yours? And what was going on? Just to give us a little contrast, a little story. I'm going to be honest. I was, you know, I was married before. Yeah, I know. I meant to ask about your son. How old is he now? He's 13. Oh. He's running the world. Yeah, I got to let you see him. Yeah, I was married before. It was, and that divorce, it was very cataclysmic, man. It was very, it was hard because, you know, I don't like being, I don't,
• 25:12
  deem myself a successful failure. I don't want to be, I felt, I failed in marriage at one point in time. And, um, it, it killed me because you know, I, I didn't get married to have a divorce to get a divorce. And, um, but at the same time, it taught me in that worst season who I am.
• 25:33
  And what it, and I don't have to literally depend on somebody all of my life. I can, I had somebody, God was already in my life. He was already taking care of things. But I, I felt in that point and that portal of my life that I could not live without her. But once I got out of that and we separated and went our separate ways, I understood I could stand on my own two feet and keep on living, man.
• 25:59
  I just understood that perfectly, too. Hopefully the listeners do. So talk to me about, oh, man, I lost my train of thought. Oof. I'm going to skip to a question, and I'll remember right after what it was. I just, I was so profound and deep. If you could have dinner with one person who's alive or dead, who would it be and why? If I could have dinner with somebody that's alive or dead, who would it be?
• 26:31
  I think me personally, I would want to have dinner with President Obama. The reason I want to have dinner with him is because he has seen some things that's it and has lived a life rather that according to popular opinion, he should not have lived.
• 26:53
  He had to make decisions. He had to respond certain ways and had to do it under scrutiny, had to do it, you know, being oppressed from multiple directions. And I would just want to be a sponge at the table with him just to hear literally everything he had to endure and everything that he's seen and operating in right now. Because I bet you this, Kills, that B.
• 27:21
  He's still I think he's still running the country to it to a degree, being being honest with you. Oh, boy. And just leave it like that. And I think a lot of in just being married to Michelle and his kids and all of that, like, how did you do that? Being, you know, the scrutiny and just, you know, having to play from the background and get to you and get to the point where he's now, you know, one of the best presidents, I believe, that ever said in that White House.
• 27:50
  I think that it was hard for him to get his agenda passed because he had a Republican Congress. I will tell you this much. He's undisputedly one of the best orators around. And he notoriously makes you feel like the most important person in the room. And I admire that. The way he speaks is phenomenal. So I'm just impressed that you didn't go with one of the other orators like Martin Luther King or Louis Farrakhan or whatever.
• 28:18
  Or who was inspiring? Because the difference with that, Martin had the dream. Obama lived it. Ooh. That was the difference. And I'm not a big Martin Luther King fan. But I wanted to talk to somebody that lived the dream. And that can tell me how, you know, this is the process. This is the route. And this is how you respond to it.
• 28:42
  Do you follow any of the other guys like Joel Osteen or who's that one guy? Steven Furtick. He's a beast. Whoa. He's a beast. He's the godfather of this stuff. Yeah. Well, the guy, Steven Furtick is great. Darius Daniels, T.D. Jakes. I follow all of them to get inspiration because there are times when you're feeling everybody else that you have to get filled.
• 29:06
  And a lot of times we forget to refill ourselves when you, you know, when you pour out, it's hard to pour into somebody when you're empty.
• 29:16
  And that's what a lot of us, we're trying to help people when we really need the help. When we need to, we need to kind of, you're trying to push somebody to their next level when you need to be pushed to yours. Full vulnerability, man, that's probably why you're here, man. I always liked coming down and seeing you and talking to you. And I tell you, I've been running on E a lot lately. I'm pushing everything, every button, and nothing's working. As you said, yeah.
• 29:42
  Pain is the portal or pain is and I'm in that phase where good and bad is happening at the same time. But I just don't know way but going forward and there's certain days where I'm just like I run on fumes. I run a coffee and good intentions. So I'm glad you're here because I feel you. I feel whatever's with you.
• 30:01
  a lot. So I'm getting recharged and I needed it. And I'm full vulnerability for me to say to another man, I needed somebody to breathe some life into me and you're doing that. So I love you for that. Thank you. Let me tell you this, man. Kels, I'm so glad you ain't throwing the towel. I'm so glad that, that you're, you're staying faithful to your process and staying committed. There are so many people that's counting on you. There are so many people that's depending on you that you are literally putting food on their table. You're,
• 30:30
  Your submission to your process is allowing people to grow and develop in theirs. And don't underestimate who you are. You're just having a moment, and you've got to understand moments change. Feelings change. Don't get caught in this one phase of things right now, because sooner or later you're going to see why you had to go through it. I receive that. Thank you. And I will tell you this much. This is going to sound cocky and arrogant, but it is. It just comes from me.
• 31:00
  I have no other option. Come on, man. There ain't no other option. I ain't going to quit. I ain't going back to drinking. I ain't going back to that life. I'm here for a reason. Everything that I've been given is for a reason. There is a reason. You know my background. I've been shot at. I've been stabbed. I've been beat. I've been punched. Ain't nothing going to kill me. I'm going to live to a ripe old age, and I'm going to do really good things. And I say that, too. It's like I don't have another option.
• 31:27
  The devil should have killed you when he had the chance. It's over now. You good? And don't, that's what I'm saying. The process is trying to teach you something. Learn the lesson. Believe me, you were right there with me a couple of those nights. Oh, yeah. So they tried, but I'm a little tougher than that. That's funny. What's your biggest, what do you fear? I don't, I fear, fear itself.
• 31:54
  I'm, I'm, I'm with God. I'm not scared of anything. I promise you, you know, I'm, I'm not a big fella. I'm, you know, I'm, I've been in the streets. I've done some things in my life that I'm not so proud of, um, that people will probably would be scared of me. Just put it like that. And you're so handsome. I don't know how anybody can be afraid of you. You know what I mean, Kills? Um, but I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm scared of being scared.
• 32:22
  Meaning what I mean by that is that fear sometimes will not allow you to develop, grow or mature because you feel as if that you're not supposed to be at a certain place or you're not supposed to be in a certain arena. And you will miss out on things being scared of it. I'm going to disagree with you for the first time ever because I'm going to tell you right now. And this is this is just me. Come on. Fear tells me where I got to go.
• 32:50
  That's where I have to go. If I fear something, I must do it. That was what this podcast was about. But I'm not like most men. I'm not like most people. But let me articulate that. Because I'm like, if you're coming from that context, when I started the church, scared as hell. And you know what I did, told myself? I have to do it scared. That's why I love you. I have to do it afraid. But there are certain moments, though,
• 33:19
  that that's what I was just saying is that you can be scared or afraid of a thing and you can literally miss your blessing. I have people, I promise you this. I have people that's calling my phone on a consistent basis. And, um, they're calling me to get encouragement, to get motivation, uh,
• 33:37
  But if I would have not done what I've done it scared or started it while I was afraid, the people would be literally left out there astray right now because I wasn't going to ultimately walk in my calling and I didn't do it afraid. Being scared is really the first start. That's the beginning of the process. That's the first thing you have to understand is that being afraid will come.
• 34:01
  Being afraid will come to meet you, but you have to do it even if scared is a part of the process. But most won't, and that's the problem. That drives me insane. Like, you're scared? Oh, my God, let me tap out to this. Let me numb out. Let me take some drugs. Let me take some drinking. Let me tap out. The first sign of discomfort, and that ain't me, man. That ain't you. I love it. It ain't you.
• 34:28
  Let's go. Ain't no way. It's not. See, we run from purpose. I ain't going to say we because we didn't. A lot of people run from purpose because, like I told you earlier, because they don't have a definition of it yet. When you can define it, it's more, you're more willing to go after it.
• 34:51
  But sometimes you got to understand you got to paint the picture. You got to be your own Picasso. You have to literally paint it how you want to see it. Create it. This picture behind you or this graphics behind you, Kels, somebody had to see it in their brain first before it actually became an actual artifact. So you cannot literally run from stuff that you're supposed to create.
• 35:20
  So you're saying paint what done is. So really what you're saying is put out, write out your goals. Yeah. Spell them out. Paint the picture. Certain things will never manifest until you create it. Oh, the manifest with the word manifest, but manifest. You have to have action. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Define happiness for the listeners. Happiness. There's a difference between happiness and joy. Yeah.
• 35:45
  Me personally, I'd rather have joy than happiness because I can sometimes, happiness is only based upon what's happening. So what I want to do is have joy. Joy allows me...
• 36:01
  to be in any situation, good or bad, I'm going to find some way to find some type of joy in my life. Even if it's in bad moments, even if it's a sorrowful, if even if it's somebody that's probably passed on, I still have to find joy in that moment. See, happiness is predicated most of the times on what's happening. So you, if, if you're not, if, if something is not working for you in that moment, then there's a different emotion that might, you know, approach you. So, I,
• 36:29
  Me personally, give me joy over happiness. I'm writing that down. It's so good. Happiness is predicated on what's happening. That's so good. I put a post out the other day. They said, I'm not happy. I'm joyful. I am content. And I'm not sad. And all anybody heard was I'm not happy. And I got flooded with...
• 36:58
  With messages. Oh, it's okay. You're going to get through it. I said, whoa, I didn't. I just, I said the same thing you just said. Right, right. But I said, I'm not. And really, the only reason I said that is because I felt myself falling out of alignment. I'm doing a lot of things for a lot of people, spreading myself very thin. And I'm never in the moment. You said earlier, surrender. Mm-hmm.
• 37:18
  I am so into what's tomorrow, what's the next day. Next week, I'm going down to do a speaking engagement. And it's like I'm constantly in the future. And I'm pulling myself back, but it's hard not to. It's so much going on. So that true happiness is being right here in the moment doing what you want to do. But I'm joyful.
• 37:39
  I'm low. And I'm not regretful. I have no negative feelings. And so what do they focus on? I'm not happy. Supposed to be happy all the time. So what? Was drinking and doing drugs making you happy? Come on, man. Nah. I'll pass. Completely. What happens when we die? What I've learned, what I've discovered is that when you die, what I've looked like this, I've never seen a U-Haul
• 38:10
  At a funeral. Meaning everything. Everything that you've acquired here on earth has to leave here. It has to be, you know, stay here. I said that to say this. When you die, die empty.
• 38:28
  Make sure that you lift everything on the table when you tap out of here, meaning you fulfill purpose. You've done everything that was necessary with your family. And when you tap out of here, that means everything that you've endured while you were here, you can say, hey, I'm ready to go now. I'm like this. I am not scared to die, Kale's.
• 38:54
  A lot of people are. The reason I'm not scared to die is because I believe in that thing called purpose. Is that when God calls my name, I believe everything in me. I'm going to leave everything behind. And I can truly say that my purpose was fulfilled. Destiny was accomplished. And I left legacy behind. A legacy effect. And that's my ultimate goal is to leave...
• 39:24
  My body can die, but my name won't. And that's what I'm going to leave, a name. What do you want that legacy to be? Paint Dunn for me. Paint Dunn, okay. I want when Julian Hayes' name is mentioned, I want to say he helped people out of situations that they couldn't really help themselves in.
• 39:46
  I wanted them to say that he was an amazing man to even be around. He was a purpose driven person. I want people to say when I came and was around Julian Hayes in any shape, form or fashion that I, I became, or who that person is talking, they became a better person just even being in my presence. That's what I want them to say. I want them to literally say that Julian Hayes made me become a better individual.
• 40:16
  It's been like that. I can say that about you since the day I met you. I mean that. You know that. Yes, sir. What's 10 years from now look like for Pastor Jew? 10 years from now, Kels, I want to. I'm in the process of searching out for church buildings and things like that. 10 years from now, man, I want to be married again. I want to be married again. I want to have a few other streams of income.
• 40:43
  But, man, I really just want to be comfortable. I want to be comfortable in purpose, man. And the thing is, man, I'm not racing myself.
• 40:55
  you know, in the future, but I'm living in the future. So how that, how that, how that marry each other, because everything is futuristic right now. If you're not thinking like you were saying kids, if you're not there yet in your mind, I don't know what you're waiting on. But what I've learned too, is that you have to capitalize on this moment also, is that you will miss this moment trying to live in the next one.
• 41:21
  And so you have to be able to be comfortable where you are and start adjusting for where you're going. So we grew up in the streets and we're, we're, we've done some thug things in our life. And, and I've always met, there's no fight, flight or freeze for me. It is fight. That's it. It's all I know is the fight. Even when there's not a fight to be had, I'm fighting. So.
• 41:44
  I am trying to work on being comfortable being comfortable. Come on, man. Because my whole life's been uncomfortable, man. Whole life. It would kill most people to know what I went through. Come on.
• 41:58
  So the hardest thing in the world for me is to just sit here and accept. Yeah. And it's, so be comfortable being uncomfortable or be, be comfortable being comfortable. My life is pretty comfortable right now. Come on, man. It is. It looks amazing. Weird. It is amazing. I'm not going to lie to you, but I'm with you too. That's why I'm going to leave. We're going to end this with this, Mary. Cause what does, how do you date a pastor? Oh man.
• 42:21
  Be 100. So you're single? Be real. Are you dating? I'm dating. I'm dating. So how does someone find, they got to come to the church, put something on the plate. Oh, no, they ain't got to do all that. See, first, the Bible tells us that a man has to seek after a woman.
• 42:39
  I'm a firm believer that if you come and seeking after me, I'm probably not going to give you my no intention because there's motives intent. And you know, you just, you know, a lot of women love pastors. Just being real with you. I have women that's come to my church that I know that they were coming just for me or I've seen my, if I showed you my DM is crazy because of, you know, they, they, they want a word from the Lord, but at the same time, they want a word from Julian Hayes. And so, um,
• 43:09
  They want to say, oh, God, sorry, I took it there. I couldn't help it. I apologize. Lord, I apologize. Some form of fashion. But, yeah, man, it's an adventure. Wait a minute. Hold on. Let's dig into that a little deeper. If we're going to talk about manifestation and you want to be married, what does the future Mrs. Julian Hayes look like? Paint me done for that.
• 43:33
  She looks like somebody I can depend on. Somebody I don't want to be Superman around her all the time. I want to be Clark Kent. I want to have moments where I can just come lay on her and tell her about my day. I want her to be my peace rather than my chaos.
• 43:52
  That's so important. I want her to literally help. See, what I've learned is two kills. And I'm being honest with you. I think there's a point in life where you can reach a ceiling where you can't get any. The success level has your success level can reach a ceiling alone.
• 44:11
  But when you have a partner that will help you get to that next level, man, I promise you, it makes the road a lot more easier and the road worth taking. And I believe that's I'm reaching my ceiling right now where I know my partner is needed for my next moment. That's why you're here, because I feel the same way. I will tell you the reverse is true, as we both know. Yes. A chaotic moment.
• 44:41
  A misaligned woman can drag you down. That's my big thing. My big is peace, freedom, and clarity. Come on, man. I need, it is so important for me to have peace. A woman can either do two things. Either she can build you up or she can tear you down. There's no gray area.
• 45:06
  Either you building me up or you're tearing me down. And what we as men have to do is be able to put a definition on who you, who you're partnering with. I love it. That's your, that's on you. So how can the, uh, how can I personally support you?
• 45:22
  Personally support. Support you and your mission. Personally, just keep pushing me. We can't financially support us at iLive Church. You can write it to make all checks paid with iLive Church. Is there an online where people can donate? Yeah, Cash App. We do Cash App, iLive Church Detroit. Give LaFi, iLive Church Detroit. Cash App, Pastor Julian 86, man. I'm just, you know, and the crazy thing is, Kills, it's crazy you said that, man. I did this with not a lot of support.
• 45:51
  I did it out of my own finance banking. And I'm just, if, if I don't believe in myself, who else will?
• 45:59
  I believe in you. So does Ryan. I know. I know. But I'm just saying you have to be the first partaker of your vision. And that's how, you know, that's how we push the agenda. So you just got a little glimpse of how amazing and miraculous and just earth moving he is. Tune in on Sundays. They stream. Go down to the church. Everything will be in the show notes. And experience this amazing journey.
• 46:26
  kind individual. And if you're single, just hit him up. Don't slide into those DMS though. I don't know. I'm too busy, but let me leave you with this. And I know we're getting ready to go. Oh, you got something else? No, no, no. We're going to be this. Um,
• 46:44
  Don't give up. Giving up sometimes seems like it's the most easiest thing to do. Understand that God has something for you, and the agenda is to make sure that you get there. Getting there is really the battle. And sometimes you allow people, places, and things to detour you, but I want to speak over your life today and let you know that God has something amazing for you. All you have to do is keep...
• 47:13
  Keep yourself aligned with the process and can make sure that your foot is still on the gas. Never let off the gas because God's trying to take you somewhere. Meet you when you get there.
• 47:24
  I love you, man. That was freaking amazing. We're going to have you on again, and we're going to do a two-hour one because we could have just – I had to make it short because of time. You're my brother, man. I love you, man. I got to remind the listeners that each and every episode is sponsored by National Technology Management. That's what brought us together. NTM. NTM. You know I know about them. How my boys doing over there. All my people doing. Everybody still – Tim's still cooking along. Timmy.
• 47:49
  The easiest and best IT company to do business with, just ask Pastor Jew and God. For sure. Deliver peace of mind with technology every day. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life. Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life. And let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.