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Is Your Teen Hiding Something? Why They Need a Shame-Free Exit Plan · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here of Voices for Voices.
• 0:04
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• 0:06
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• 0:34
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• 0:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We can do it together.
• 0:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to talk about how children and their mental health can be impacted by being say using the code word, the password, having a parent or both parents, guardian pick you up from a party, a get together, a sleepover, pizza party, what have you.
• 1:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And they don't feel comfortable.
• 1:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I want to talk a little bit about the mental health of the kids.
• 1:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That way I don't use seven words to say one thing.
• 2:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'm sure that's probably something that's going through our kids' mind.
• 2:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: When I see them at school, what are they what are they gonna say?
• 2:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What are they gonna think?
• 2:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Who are they gonna tell?
• 2:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Am I gonna be made fun of?
• 2:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Am I going to be not invited to the next gathering?
• 2:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And while those things as a parent and a guardian may not seem like a big deal to a growing looking at the world of where do I fit in person?
• 3:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It can be very, very real, these feelings and these thoughts.
• 3:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Am I gonna be an outcast now?
• 3:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do they think I'm a tattletale?
• 3:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, oh, they're gonna tell on tell on you if you have a gathering, so you don't want to have one.
• 3:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we just not even maybe not have one, maybe they do have one, they just don't invite your child.
• 3:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Children.
• 3:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we talked about the last the last show about how brave, how strong, how empowered that our child or children was or were if they feel uncomfortable.
• 4:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so now we look at again the the the children.
• 4:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What if we end up in what if the children end up in a group for a school project?
• 4:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is everybody going to work together?
• 4:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And for those that have done any type of project or group work in school, out of school, sometimes you have good groups and some where people, everybody chips in, and other times you don't.
• 5:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now, if we layer on top of that a situation where our children or child left a gathering earlier at a prior date and time.
• 5:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe they said something else.
• 6:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, mental anguish, right?
• 6:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm letting somebody down.
• 6:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now, as adults, we understand that we're we're gonna be letting people down all our lives.
• 6:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It just happens.
• 6:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We select this versus that, you know.
• 6:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we're playing any backyard sport, you have two captains, and you go back and forth of who you want on your team and who I want on my team, and and so at that, even at that age, when was I picked?
• 7:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Was I one of the first ones?
• 7:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Was I one of the last ones?
• 7:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But getting back to the gathering, we have that safe space for a child or children.
• 7:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think we need to take it a little bit further to do what we can and do what we can to help them decrease the severity of whatever type of backlash may come the next day of school or the next time they see their friends or teammates or any type of group.
• 8:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because one is keeping them safe, and so in this instance, we were able to do that because our child or children trusted us enough to use the code word, the password, how however you set it up, but again, that back half is how are they gonna feel afterwards?
• 9:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are they gonna are they gonna feel down and say, oh, if I would have just stayed, it wouldn't have looked like I didn't want to be there.
• 9:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If I would have just stayed, I could have said no.
• 9:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If I would have just stayed, I wouldn't have to think about or worry about anybody you know whispering in the hallway about them the next time they're at school or before or after a ball game.
• 10:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now I'll just talk a little bit about when I was in high school, I was an outcast.
• 10:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I was made fun of.
• 10:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I exceeded expectations for so many years of playing basketball, baseball.
• 11:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then those days were gone.
• 11:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Barely making the team not getting play playing time.
• 11:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, that whole in in in the working environment outside of school, you know, they they call it the water cooler talk, you know, gossip.
• 11:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well that happens with ball teams as well, in the locker room before and after on bus rides to and from, and it was not fun, and I was invited to much, if anything, and I'm not here trying to say that that's how we should measure our life by how many parties or how many get together gatherings, or I'm not here to and measure anybody's life because I I was on the opposite end of the spectrum there, and so I knew I didn't know it was called mental health, but there are many times I just wanted to be in my room alone, not talk to anybody, not answer questions, you know that it just it's hard.
• 13:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It has nothing to do with my parents, I the best parents that one could have.
• 13:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's just growing up and it kind of followed me to the second school.
• 13:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I had elective shoulder surgery, there's a little bone spur, so they made like three small incisions on my shoulder.
• 13:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Ever since then, I was never the same pitcher, I was never the same ball player at all.
• 14:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when we rescue or bring home our child or children, because they feel uncomfortable, they don't feel a good feeling.
• 14:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We've got to go with our intuition sometimes, maybe more than we would like.
• 14:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we feel like something bad might happen, or oh my gosh, what if the what if the cops or somebody calls the cops on us because we're our music's too loud, or and then they start looking around, and maybe it's alcohol, maybe it's another drug.
• 14:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know.
• 15:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's the risk of staying.
• 15:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not saying every single gathering has those elements.
• 15:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm just trying to say that we've got to empower our children to stand up for themselves in the right way.
• 15:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The magic number for consuming alcoholic beverages, it still is here in the United States, twenty-one and over.
• 15:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And when we're younger than twenty-one, sometimes we like to bend the rules and do things that we shouldn't do, that being one of them, maybe, maybe not, I hope not.
• 16:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But if like the self right now for me was a talk to the self back in high school, and before I turn 21.
• 16:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been 21 and over for more years than I was under 21 at this point, being 44.
• 16:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now, I don't drink alcohol anymore.
• 16:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't do that.
• 16:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's just me, though.
• 16:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not here to tell anybody else how to live.
• 16:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm just giving my experience.
• 16:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some people are able to hand in the proper setting, proper age, 21 or over, have a designated driver.
• 17:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because that's a whole nother ball game, there getting a DUI, driving under the influence, and it can be another substance, doesn't have to be alcohol.
• 17:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some of us can be surprised by that.
• 17:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when if we get to that point and we bring our child home, they don't need to say a whole lot.
• 17:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't need to say a whole lot.
• 17:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But we may just want to offer one tidbit of advice about the fallout that might come at the next time we see those, the next time our children see their friends, classmates, teammates, you band mates, drama club mates, whatever whatever the whatever the group is or groups, put them together.
• 18:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It might help to also when we have those conversations about you know the code words and code phrases, it may be helpful to also talk about just a little bit about after, right?
• 19:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's one thing to have a piece, have a tool, right?
• 19:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have we have some nails, we need to hammer them.
• 19:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we have tools, but we have a hammer to hammer those nails.
• 19:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But we don't need to hammer if we don't have anything like nails that we need we need to hammer in to hit with our hammer so they're not sticking out anymore.
• 19:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then when we do find that opportunity, they're like, oh, okay, I've got a I got a hammer, a tool belt, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, two nails now are not sticking out protruding anymore.
• 20:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So what comes next?
• 20:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when we're having those conversations, thinking about the cow words, the passwords, and all that, how to do it, whether it has to be a call or a text, or you know, as as we're going through those mechanics.
• 20:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We may also just want to talk about like what may what may seem like negative fallout from leaving a party, leaving a gathering sooner than others.
• 20:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe everybody ends up spending a night.
• 20:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gonna be a sleepover, and it's 8 p.m.
• 21:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: and the children or child has just that feeling in their gut, something's not right.
• 21:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a message.
• 21:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You as a parent, other parents.
• 21:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do your thing, go pick up, bring them home.
• 21:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that's again, that's that first phase.
• 21:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, actually, I would say I guess the first phase would be having that conversation.
• 21:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Second phase would be implementing that phase.
• 21:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Right?
• 21:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's one thing again, like have that.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hammer.
• 22:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe we don't need it.
• 22:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe we do.
• 22:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we have the hammer, hammer those nails in.
• 22:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What happens after that?
• 22:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We may just have a little bit of a conversation.
• 22:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: With our child or children.
• 22:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: About maybe some things that they might e they might expect to see or hear next time they are in a presence with those people.
• 22:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Cause that might be the that might be one of the things that our our child or children are thinking about the most.
• 23:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They might be going, oh I'm not gonna do that because they're my friends or teammates, whatever.
• 23:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're never gonna let me live it down.
• 23:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I gotta stay.
• 23:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, an alcohol and all the thing, being 21.
• 23:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Again, more yeah, you're I've been over, I've been 21 and over for more years than I have was under.
• 23:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I would just say, look, you're gonna have plenty of time.
• 23:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like if you wanna if if you know down the line when you're 21 and over, you're gonna have plenty of time to be like you're it's not like that that age comes and goes every day the high schooler goes to school for one more day, then another day, the closer they get to 18 and then the 21.
• 24:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I think if we do that, where we have we have we have those conversations as at phase one, and within the conversations we talk about different ways and different uh different times, different yeah, different times that they they may feel uncomfortable, or like you know what?
• 24:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I I don't want to be around what's going on.
• 24:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I I can't tell, I don't know.
• 24:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or I heard somebody on the phone, and it's people I don't even know are coming over, and I don't I would just rather remove myself from this situation, and this is big for athletes, right?
• 25:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Standout athlete being looked at by many top colleges, top sport programs.
• 25:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: All it takes is one mad decision, and those scholarship offers can just go like the wind.
• 25:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They can just disappear.
• 25:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But not everybody has those luxuries of being recruited like that or plays a sport.
• 25:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's all the more reason if our child or children are being recruited because that's a whole new ball game there.
• 26:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Cause that may lead into professional sports, it may not.
• 26:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we gotta have those conversations.
• 26:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We gotta have the tools, where those are phones.
• 26:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Back when I was growing up, I didn't I don't think I ever had a beeper, but like the beeper was like the thing, right?
• 26:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You you want to get a hold of somebody so you page them, and it's like this it has it goes in like the the the pants or whatever in a purse or wow.
• 26:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And somebody wants you wants to call you.
• 26:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not like you just right, it's not like you just pull out the phone and just text or call or social media message.
• 27:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No, you have the like people just didn't give out phone numbers like that.
• 27:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was like, well, you can page me, and so you get these page numbers.
• 27:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's like, oh, I want to find out what's going on, I don't know, like this Friday or what I don't know, just whenever.
• 27:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm gonna call so and get hold of so and so, whoever this person, I don't know who this person is, it's just a hypothetical person, but the pager, you look at uh it's a real thing, was a real thing.
• 27:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so you'd have your phone, you could have the landline, mostly it's the landline, you know.
• 27:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, the mobile phone wasn't that big when I was growing up.
• 28:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you go, you know, you dial the number, and then it would say something like you know, basically it'd delete a callback number, and then you put your number and then you sit and wait, you're like, oh, I don't know like what they're doing, and are they gonna call back?
• 28:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so, you know, you if you're at if you're at home, right, and you got like five, four, however many people in your family, you know, we have one one telephone line.
• 28:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so somebody's on the phone, it's like we didn't have call waiting at the beginning.
• 28:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like you, so somebody's on the phone, the people that are gonna that I want uh who I'm trying to have page or the call back, you know, they could be on the phone going, okay, I'm so-and-so paid me, so I'm gonna call.
• 29:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so they call and they get a busy signal.
• 29:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We still have busy signals today, but not like that, because what did we have going on?
• 29:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Either somebody, somebody in our family could be on the phone, so that's a like hurry up, get off the phone, get off the phone, get off the phone.
• 29:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's the first thing that could happen.
• 29:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The second thing that could happen is the internet, it was dial up.
• 29:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And at first, so the dial up took care, took basically took the phone line and took it so it was as if somebody was on the phone.
• 30:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So somebody in your family is like, oh, I got I I don't even know like what I would be searching at at that time.
• 30:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, I'm doing school work, I'm tight, I don't, I don't know, because computers were still in their there they weren't quite at their exact infancy, but I mean we're talking big monitors, like it it and so if somebody's on the dial up internet again, nobody's getting a call.
• 30:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Nobody's getting a call in that house.
• 30:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you may be trying, you may be the one trying to get on the internet and the dial up, and maybe somebody be trying to call, and then like it gets all the lines get kind of crossed up where it's like which one happens?
• 30:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Does the call come through, or does the the signal through the the dial up internet go?
• 31:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, these are all things that are funny you you can Google, you can look all this stuff up because it's something you're probably going, what in the world is he talking about?
• 31:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I'm laughing now, but it was not funny.
• 31:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was not funny, right?
• 31:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're growing up and make making friends, and then you're like, hey, like, I don't know, let's go to a movie or okay, well, um, right, we didn't have phones like we have today, where I can look at like, okay, what movie and where at, and no, like we had to look in a lot of times we had to look in the paid newspaper.
• 31:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if our family didn't get a newspaper, we had to go get a newspaper at the store.
• 32:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or we had to try to do the dial up in the the dial up internet to try to find it, and we could be like, all right, well, uh the movie at 7 p.m.
• 32:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: on Friday, so as uh whatever theater.
• 32:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'm gonna let that person know because maybe they go to the go to my school, maybe they don't.
• 32:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if they don't go to my school, then it's well, here's their page or number.
• 32:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So like page and and then like dial back and dial up or call back number, put our number in, and then we sit there and we just wait.
• 32:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we just wait and we wait and we wait.
• 32:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Do you think waiting to get a text message from somebody for a job for whatever may be?
• 32:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You think that's hard?
• 32:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Try sitting there in a household of four with a mom, a dad, and then a sister that was four years older.
• 33:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So my sister's doing the same thing, trying to do the same thing.
• 33:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: She's doing the pager game and all that, and then she's she's doing that.
• 33:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then she's got schoolwork to do.
• 33:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're all both learning to type.
• 33:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then we're parents, our mom and dad, you know, they're they're talking to their parents, and um, and if you go walk out the door, and you're like, all right, we were here for a half hour, they I paged them, they didn't pay, they didn't call me back.
• 33:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So the family's gonna go, I don't know, go out for pizza, go do something.
• 33:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then there's this little bit in your stomach going, oh, I know when I leave, I know when I walk out that door, that phone's gonna ring.
• 34:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so then it's that whole anxiety thing of did they call when I was gone?
• 34:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They didn't leave a mess, they didn't leave an uh a message on the answer machine.
• 34:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You don't know.
• 34:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so these are real, you know, these were real-world problems that some of us had.
• 34:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So to bring us back, there is that mental health type of thing going on because it's like, are they gonna call back?
• 34:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are they not gonna call back?
• 34:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And did they call when my sister was writing her paper?
• 34:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Did they call?
• 34:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They try calling when you know my mom's on the phone with my grandma, and my dad's getting a call out to work because he he's on call pretty much all the time.
• 35:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so there's any number of things that could have been going on, and and then if we would see this person before we would, you know, uh talk about like hey, page, it's like, yeah, but I called you back, and so I I just made plans with other people, and then you'll talk about going, oh my god, but you know, as far as mental health, like, but that's just that was just the nature of things growing up for me.
• 35:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So now, like being a parent and talking are gonna be at that stage talking about the things that we're sharing here on the Voices for Voices podcast and TV show.
• 35:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's real stuff going on.
• 36:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, I remember being at parties and there being alcohol and other things there.
• 36:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um I didn't have a cell phone, I didn't really have a cell phone.
• 36:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh I did for a little bit, but like it hit it just wasn't used in the same way because you had to buy so many messages, text messages.
• 36:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like now there's a lot of unlimited plans, and and and so there were restrictions, and then it was like, well, which carrier do you have?
• 36:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, I have Verizon, oh, I have T Mobile, oh, I have ATT.
• 36:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so it was like, if it's if I got Verizon, if I message somebody else with Verizon, then those messages wouldn't count towards the total.
• 36:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and and so now how prevalent you know the cell phone is it doesn't it doesn't take away from the importance of having these conversations.
• 37:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I I I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna be in the same boat as other parents that are other parents that will be that have these conversations with our children and child to try to keep them as safe as possible.
• 37:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So hopefully you laughed a little bit, I laughed a little bit.
• 37:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh thinking back to those days, oh my gosh, the pager again, and it would just that'd be the only thing that'd be on the screen.
• 38:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It would be like it would like it would literally be a pager, a beeper, like it would vibrate or it'd make a sound.
• 38:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like, oh, somebody's paging me, and then like, oh, here's the callback number, and then then you gotta find a phone.
• 38:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're not home, if you're at the mall, you gotta find a payphone or something.
• 38:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like if if you have that page and if you want to call that person, they gotta find a phone.
• 38:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If they don't have a cell phone, well, maybe they do want to give a call back, but they they can't find a phone.
• 38:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Wherever they're at, there's just there's no cell phones.
• 38:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or they got or the payphone, but they don't have any corridors.
• 38:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, these are these are really problems.
• 38:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I I find my inner tyrus when he talks about like these are forget how he says it.
• 39:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not third world problems.
• 39:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like he says he says another phrase of like, oh, you know, like these are the type of problems that we uh we've had and or we have.
• 39:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Um so hopefully you laughed a little bit.
• 39:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thanks for joining us.
• 39:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We got a lot of shows.
• 39:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd love for you to come back.
• 39:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Tell your friends, please let them know.
• 39:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is probably one of the funnest shows we've done in a long time because I've I I'm truly laughing and it's uh oh my gosh, yeah.
• 39:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah.
• 40:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that was me growing up, like trying, you know, when we talk about communication.
• 40:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Now it's different, like I said, with the the cell phones and that, so we don't know the some may slow pagers and beepers.
• 40:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But usually, you know, having a cell phone.
• 40:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, somebody, you know, texts like do you know that do you know this number or do I know this number?
• 40:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If not, it's like span.
• 40:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I don't have time for that.
• 40:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thanks for joining us again.
• 40:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have a ton of episodes.
• 40:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Check us out wherever you get podcasts.
• 40:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Please let your connections know about the Voices for Voices podcast.
• 40:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd love to have a few more viewers, a few more listeners.
• 40:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because we're gonna do it.
• 40:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're gonna reach 3 billion people, we're gonna help three billion people.
• 41:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we'll see you on the next episode.
• 41:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we are sending our love and our support your way, whatever prosperous looks like to you.
• 41:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We hope that you get everything you wish for and more.
• 41:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye for now.