Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Put a Pin in it

Transcript

Dear Banya: Put a Pin in it · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody rubbing it?
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: It's Tills and yeah and the scrubbing and pad helloll.
• 0:22
  Speaker 4: She's still not used to the opening line.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: No, she's taking off with puffer and getting comfortable and
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: puffing her through it. Why are you guys all staring
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: at me?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Because we're on and we're on ding Ding our first
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: podcast of the week.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: Somebody's home. She's home, She's home. How you doing dang great?
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: How ding ding in being great?
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: I'm backing. I started up therapy again. All right, Yeah,
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: thank you.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: I love that for you.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: It's been great. But it's a new therapist.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: I love her, but she makes me cry, Like my
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: sessions have been just like crying.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Why did you get a new one?
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I just wasn't feeling like I felt like the other
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: ones I had.
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  Speaker 4: They were wonderful for the.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Time that I had them and when I needed them,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: but I felt like it was just me talking for
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: a long time, like for an hour, and there wasn't
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: a lot of like, uh, feedback in terms of things
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  Speaker 2: I could do or you know, there wasn't just like
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: it was just me talking for like an hour.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I feel like I do that on the podcast.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: And not with the same topics, but you know, I
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: just was like looking for a little more like feedback.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like it's intimidating.
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: Like I've only had one therapist, and I'm like, I
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: just want to keep her forever because the thought of
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: like giving a new one all the background, I'm so daunting,
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, she already knows so much.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: I know, but.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: I feel the same way, like I just feel like
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: it's always this, it always comes back to the same thing,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, it's not that well it might.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Be, it's not that.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: It really might be.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so that's something new in my life. And
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I was I wasn't like resistant towards it at all.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I was just kind of like, oh, do it when
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I'm when I'm ready, when I'm ready. And that's one
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: of those things where like you don't feel ready to
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: bear your soul and to hear things that are tough, tough.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: That's why I like therapy though, because I'm like, I
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: feel all the time that we think our ideas, our
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: opinions the way that we do things is always right,
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: do you know what I mean? Like we just think
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: our opinions and our stuff is always right, but that's
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: not the case. There's no right and wrong. There's just
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: like different ways to do the same thing.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: So I like that.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: I like that challenge.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm excited. But she's she's learning about
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: me right now.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: So we're in that face feeling her in.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: She read me a poem the other.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Day, but she started the first it was a Mary
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Oliver poem in the first instance, is like, you don't
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: have to be good, and I just like burst into tears.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I was like just staring at her while she was reading,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: like solving. But anyways, I'm it feels good.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Everything's good here, everything, everything's fine worth arriving.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: But it is one of those things where like if
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: you've considered therapy and you're like I'm not ready, I'm
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: not ready, just you just have to go for it.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: If you're feeling like I need therapy, you're not gonna
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: feel like ready for therapy, if that makes sense.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: So I I've been reading The Universe Has Your Back
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: by Gabrielle Bernstein. We've had her on the podcast before Yeah,
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: it's an amazing book, and I'd love to have her
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: back because I just feel like it hits.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Let's get her back.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I doubt she'll come in studio. She's a busy gal.
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: Maybe she will.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Maybe she will.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: That's not the attitude.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's right, Like Patrick Dempsey were ill. Wait is open.
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  Speaker 2: Patrick, whenever you're just feeling a need to come on
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  Speaker 2: and hang with the gals and guys, We're ready, We're ready.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: It is a dear Bonia episode. It's been a minute
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: since we've done a deer Bonia.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Should we rotate who reads the emails? Because I feel
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: like I might be hogging the email reading. You're so
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: good at that. I appreciate that, Easton, but I also
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: feel a little guilty sometimes that I'm doing all the reading.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: I don't Why do you feel guilty.
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: If you get tired?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Alternate banyas today?
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: Okay, I like that?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: All right, great, lovely.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: It's a really weird thing.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Look, I just want the show to be great.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Are people saying they don't like you reading the I
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: don't think so.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I just feel like I always read the emails and
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: that can get old, my voice can get old. I
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: don't want to hog anything. I don't want to take
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: old for the show.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: Wait before you start.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: I was watching old episodes of Ben's season of the Bachelor.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: I never do.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I was trying to find I was trying to find
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: these old clips of me and Jojo for a video. Ever,
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: so I was like just skimming through them. I wasn't
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: like sitting, but I could not watch my scene. I
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: had to fast forward through, like anything that was just me.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: It is so strange seeing that version of myself. But
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: also watching I remember watching it live and being like, God,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: this is brutal watching yourself on TV like that. But wow,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: what a time my outfits everything. I was like, this
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: is so crazy. And Haley we were watching and.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: She was like, oh my god.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I remember watching this and being like devastated for Jojo
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: when he didn't choose her.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: I forgot about that.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: But I was thinking about like while hearing my voice
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: is so crazy and I can't believe people listen every
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: week to.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Their own voice. That's a fascinating thing.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Crazy.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So and maybe that's part of it. I hear it
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: on the podcast. I'm like, that's a lot of me,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: you know. Anyway about us, no because it's not you're
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: not my voice.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: It's giving weird.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: It's really considering the things that are brought up on
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: this podcast, it's not that weird.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Trying to always always be evolving, Tanya, never get complacent,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: h from Nicole, what why.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: Are you staring at me?
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: Read that?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Mark, de Becca, Tanya Easton and Mark. I've been here
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: since Becca's bachelor days and seeing her happiness with Haley
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: has been the best journey and I wish them forever happiness.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: This question is for Tanya. I am also in my
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: TTC trying to conceive era. My question is what are
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: we doing in this era? Are we drinking? Are we
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: eating raw fish and deli meat? Are we doing these
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: things only if we get our period? What is the
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: modern woman approach? Love you all?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: I think, in my personal opinion, you should just do
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: whatever makes you the most comfortable, because I feel like
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: there's so much out there that I've been reading about
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  Speaker 5: what's good, what's bad, what you should do, what you
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: shouldn't do, and it's like, if you're doing all the things,
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: you're gonna make yourself totally nuts. And that's what they're
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: they say in this era. That's why I'm trying to
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: be in my soft girl era. You're supposed to just
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: be like calm and chill and you're not supposed to stress.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: And I feel like if you're stressing about eating raw
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: fish or Deli meat, or like you're stressed out about
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  Speaker 5: everything that you're eating or drinking, it's gonna add stress,
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  Speaker 5: which I think is probably the worst thing.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: So if you want to eat some.
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: Raw fish, I'm eating raw fish, I'm eating I don't
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: really eat Deli meat, so I'm not eating Deli meat.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: I'm not drinking. And that's just my personal approach. But
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: I feel like, whatever, if you eat Deli meat all
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: the time, Like I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not a doctor, so it's not is just this
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: is I think that's good advice, though, because I think
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  Speaker 2: people get focused on what one person says to do
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: and then they go like crazy, like.
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: Somebody was like somebody was like, don't drink coffee. I'm like,
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  Speaker 5: I'll be a horrible human being. And I so I've
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: tried to cut it down, so like I take the
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: espresso that I would normally put in, and I like
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: dump a little bit of it out. So I'm just
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: trying to just like be mindful without like going so extreme.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Right, because I think the more relaxed you are without
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: like overthinking about things, yea, the way to go.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but everyone's on their own journey.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Everyone's on their own journey.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, congrats to Jojo and Jordan's.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: So exciting, so so just beyond happy.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone's just popping them out.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: And I don't know if it's because I'm no, I
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: don't know if it's because I'm in this era, but
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: like I swear, I'm constantly seeing pregnant people cross our
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: path all the time. Like we went on a date
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: the other night and we saw three pregnant women that night.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: And I don't know if it's like I'm like this
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: is a or like there were just a lot of
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: pregnant people in the world and I'm just now I'm
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I'm aware of it, do you know what I mean?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: Because that Murphy's law, or like you start seeing like
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: there's things that have always been there, but you're like.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: Aware of them now. It's not Murphy's always mess it up.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: It's something Murphy's laws.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Anything that can can go wrong will go wrong.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, not that, definitely, not that.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Whatever bias it recently.
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah, It's it's like when you buy a new car
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: and then you see that you see four fusions everywhere.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh, y'all's kid is just gonna be
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: so cute.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: It's definitely like emotional, Like I was saying, I got
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: my period and I just like ball, Yeah, like it
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: and I like cried multiple days.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: You know what it is though, what I was saying,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: because Ali and I were talking about this where I
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: feel like growing up, you hear about people getting pregnant
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: and like some people it's such a it's a surprise
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: and they had no idea and so you go, of course,
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: it's just we're gonna do it. Sex, It's gonna happen. Yeah,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: And it's like there are so many things that have
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: to align for it, and it's like, wow, it's really
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: a miracle.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all of it, all of us miracles. True.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's everyone's journey, and I think you've handled
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: it very well and are handling it very well.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Thanks.
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I think it's just doing what makes you happy,
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: because I think if you read and you follow all the.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Things, it just makes you well, there's a lot out there. Yeah, Mark,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: all right.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: This one's from anonymous. Hi Beka, Tanya, Mark, and Easton.
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: I'm a big fan of the podcast and I listen
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: every week. Thank you for all the laughter and all
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: that you do to bring us joy.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: You're welcome.
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: I'm hoping you can help me through a situation. I've
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: been married for three point five years and i have
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: a one year old. Without going into much detail, I
• 10:50
  Speaker 6: recently learned that my mother in law and sister in
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: law have been texting each other about me and my mother,
• 10:54
  Speaker 6: and they've been making very rude and inappropriate comments. For example,
• 10:57
  Speaker 6: my mother in law called my mother stupid and my
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: sister in law called me crazy and insane, to which
• 11:02
  Speaker 6: my mother in law agreed. They clearly have no respect
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: for my family or for myself. One of them even
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: commented that my husband married into my abnormal family. My
• 11:11
  Speaker 6: husband shared with me that he tells his sister about
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: everything and anything that happens in our marriage and never
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: I asked him to stop. He said, she's my sister
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: and I'll do as I please. To be very blunt,
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: I don't like my in laws, let alone be like
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: being around them. They have no boundaries. What do I
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: do moving forward? I appreciate any and all advice.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: I do not like what her husbands.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's the biggest red flag. Yeah.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I oh, this is so tough because I think my
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: thing is like, when you choose your partner, that becomes
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: your family. And I feel like him not only not
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: defending you, but sharing everything with his sister and knowing
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: that there's a some tension there, and then on top
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: of that, you are vulnerable enough to ask him not He.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Says that what I please?
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: Yikes, I mean, you did what you That would be
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: my advice. Go to your husband and say, please stop
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: sharing everything with your sister. That would literally be my advice.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: So I'm at a loss.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: Maybe you.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: Does she say how she found out that they were
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: saying these things or she just stound out She.
• 12:31
  Speaker 6: Doesn't want to go into much detail. She recently learned
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: maybe texting each other. I feel like she probably looked
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: through his phone or something. I mean, I would be
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: shocked if the husband was like complaining about his wife
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: to his sister, you know, like and they're they're all
• 12:45
  Speaker 6: just piling on. I don't want to introduce that because
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: that makes it even worse. But his reaction makes me
• 12:51
  Speaker 6: think that like.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: At this point, if you have, like with your husband,
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: if you sit down with him and say, like, is
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: there something that I've done for y'all to like speak
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: about me that way? And I would appreciate if you
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: have a problem that you come to me, because hearing
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: these things or reading these things.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: Is really hurtful.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And I would like to have a as good of
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: a relationship as we can have, like we're family, But
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like this is the way that we
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: can do that. I mean, it might be just a
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: very vulnerable place for you, but I also think you
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: need to make sure your husband's going to have your back,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: because if you're going into war with his family and
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: he doesn't even have your back, then you're going.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: To be alone.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this fill is bad couple therapy. Maybe that's his
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: response to that he's not going to couple therapy.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: I can tell you that I think I have really
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: high expectations that maybe her own therapy.
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: That's a start.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: I agree, and just like figure out how to navigate
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: the hard conversations because I I unfortunately feel like you're
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: very alone in this, which isn't fair.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: And I also don't think it should be this way.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I think at the very least he should say, listen,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: it's us, it's our family, and I'm so sorry for
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: what my family says and how they talk about you.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: But I've got your back and we're each other's family. Yeah,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: and he's not doing that. So I think you need
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: to figure out what you can do from your own
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: standpoint without feeling vulnerable.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: Really sorry you're going through that. That's really hard.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Let's take a break, but we'll tease it. Oh, coming
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: up next on scrubbing in with the tills and rad
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: yad from the scrubbing impat My boyfriend's mom bribed him
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: to move home. Yes, look, could that be that's next?
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: All right, we're back, back back, baby, Yeah, we're back.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: I'm in the spelling thing today. Really, what else you Yeah?
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: I did, I did it earlier before I was there. Yeah.
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: Oh these things of the day.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: I like it.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Hi, Bega in Tanya. I love you guys
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: so much. This might be more for Tanya, but I
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: take advice from everyone too. My boyfriend of two years
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: just broke up with me because his mom bribed him
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: with fifty thousand dollars to move back home, and he
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: took it.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I would take it too.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: We were literally looking at rings weeks before this happened.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I love him so much. He moved across the country
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: to be with me, but his mom has always been
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: an issue. For example, the last time I saw her,
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: when I had my hair and makeup done, she said,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I had no idea you could be pretty.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: My question, can I ever take someone back after they've
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: hurt me this badly? Specifically for Tanya, how did you
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: rebuild trust after Robbie broke your heart? To be clear,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: he treated me so well, but now I can't shake
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: the feeling that I'm worth less than fifty thousand dollars
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: to him, and his mom will always come first. Help Well,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: one question I have is nowhere in this does it
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: indicate that he wants to get back together like you?
• 16:26
  Speaker 6: Right?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: He moved away, he took the fifty grand, he pieced down,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: and he's gone. And you're saying can I ever take
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: him back? Are you? Is that a hypothetical or is
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: he actually returning to you and saying I made a mistake.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: It made like a noise.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: It not in here.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: What do you have to say she said it for you?
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Well, I would tend to agree with Mark.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: Nowhere in here did she did she say he's coming
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: back and trying to get back with her. But I
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: do feel like people break up and people get back together,
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: and I think if you make the choice, whatever you
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: choose to do, you have to move past the you
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like, you have to just move
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: past it. You can't hold it over his head forever, Like, oh,
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: but you broke up with me in twenty nineteen, you
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: know what I mean? You can't because I was doing
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: that for a while. I was like make saying stuff
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: like that after we got back together, and he was like,
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: you chose to be back in this with me, So like,
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: you know, we hashed it all out and that's in
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: our past.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: So it's like, if you do.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: Decide to you do have to hash it out and
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: then just you're going to have to move past it.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and here's the thing, unless he breaks the chain
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: with his mom, you are always going to come after
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: his mom, is what I'm gathering from this.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And she doesn't like you in the slightest, I think
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: you're better off.
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah, this is going to be a rough future together.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you know what your future is? Your future
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: is the letter we read a few minutes.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Ago, I know.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: And then what if, like you guys get back together,
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: and then his mom bribes him with one hundred thousand dollars.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Right audio to get that number up high, right.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: Right, I'll show my mom and get her up to
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: two hunderd k.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but even those little nasty comments like you were
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: in for a root awakening with the mother in law,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: so yeah, horrible and it's hard, and it feels like
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: he was so wonderful and treated to do so well,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: it wasn't enough for him to respect you enough to stay.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Maybe it's like the dog the bear ate his phone,
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: that's why he didn't text you act.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: But maybe he's like hard for cash.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: And he like if you guys were looking at rings,
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: he like really needs the fifty thousand. So he's just
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: taking the money and moving back. And then he's gonna
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: like be like, I used it to buy you a ring.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Tell her that put it.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. But what if Okay,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: you're right.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I would think, yeah, and that would be a horrible
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: way to come back and propose after making her.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: He's like, you thought we broke up. That's right.
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: Is worth for Yeah, Yeah, I think you move on.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: But I do agree with the sentiment of like, if
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: you choose to be back with someone after they've done
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: you wrong, you have to choose to move forward, yeah,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: because otherwise the relationship is never gonna thrive.
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and then you're just playing like you're just you
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: keep what is it hitting the dead horse? Beating a
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: dead horse, and it's just like it's not productive.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: It's a terrible phrase, by the way, I know.
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: All right, here's this one from jen Hey Scrubbing and Crew.
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: You guys are the best and always answer the hard
• 19:45
  Speaker 6: hitting questions with great advice. Here's a funny one for you.
• 19:49
  Speaker 6: Is it wrong to not have a major event pinned
• 19:51
  Speaker 6: so that it appears at the top of your Instagram feed.
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: My boyfriend has the day he got his dog and
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: when he won his college basketball championships pinned, but not
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: a about our new home that we just bought together.
• 20:02
  Speaker 6: He laughs it off, but it irks me. Am I
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: overthinking this. I recall one episode when you were talking
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: about pinning people on your messages app so they appeared
• 20:09
  Speaker 6: at the top. So I thought you guys might have
• 20:11
  Speaker 6: some laughs and advice on this one. Congrat'speck on the
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: studying engagement and ring and Tanya on such a beautiful wedding.
• 20:16
  Speaker 6: Please stop never doing this podcast. Thanks Jan I agree.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Please never stop doing this podcast.
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: Please stop never, Oh man, please stop doing this podcast.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Sorry, this sounds like something you would care about more
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: than us.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: When I discovered Robbie unpinned our wedding day was like,
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: oh my god, excuse me when I don't know No, no,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: it wasn't.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: I can't remember when I noticed it, but I like
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: noticed it, and I was like, when did you want
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: pin our wedding?
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: He was like last week? Why I got to keep
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: that up for a year. It's like why, It's not
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: like you have to scroll far, you know what I mean?
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: Like his his explanation was like, everything's basically just on
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: my feed, Like there's not much to my feed, so
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: it's it's still there. It's not like it's moving down,
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: whereas like if I unpinned mine, it would just be lost.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Nothing is pinned correct, it was replaced.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, he has no pins.
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: But still I can sympathize the gen because I do,
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: Like I was shook when I realized he unpinned our
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: wedding day. I was like, it's just old news to you.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: They say, get married and then they just unpinned the
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: wedding day.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, gin, I can tell him.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: No, I'm kidding. But maybe the only reason.
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: He's not putting pinning your house is because, like, for
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: security purposes, you're not supposed to post like photos of
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: keys and things like that.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: He should ends up laughing at all. He should just say, hey,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: it's for security purposes, right.
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: But I also do feel like it's just not that
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: deep to guys, like he's probably just like I don't know,
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: you know, Like I just think it's a totally different mindset.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: And I truly do believe that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, me too.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: It's like Venus and Mars.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, there's something that you and Haley were doing.
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: I have to remember now I'm gonna have to think
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: about it and get back to you. But then I
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: was like, beck and Haley do this, and he was like,
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: there are two women. And I was like, you're right,
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: that does make a difference. Oh was it whatever, I'll
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: think about it.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: All right, let me know.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you just laugh it off. I don't
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: think it's anything personal.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not that deep.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if he like doesn't post you on his Instagram period,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: right the flag, there's some suspicion there, But if you're
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: if you're regular regular in the feed, no stress.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's protecting you'll.
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: I mean to me, this means like he pinned posts
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: when you got that feature. He just was like, oh,
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: when I got you know, champ and when I won
• 23:05
  Speaker 6: my championship, and he just pinned them both and never
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: revisited the feature. Again, That's what it sounds like to me,
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: Like my, I have one pin post and it's the
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: day I'm at the Beach Boys, And that was just
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: because that was that's what came to mind when you
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: could pin things, and I have not pinned anything else since.
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I had three pins for my wedding and once
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: he took his off, I was like, I'm taking two off.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: But here's my question, because this does go into the
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: topic of.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Showing up in a way.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: If it's even if it's not important to him, it's important.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: So if he has if he didn't have anything pinned,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, well, that's just not his saying like
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: I've never had anything penned, So.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Like, you don't have your engagement pen.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: I don't have anything. Shyley has pins.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: You don't have your engagement anything.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I've never pinned anything on my page. Why I just don't.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: I just don't do it. But so anyways, but if
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Haley came to me and said, hey, I would really
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: like for our engagement to be pinned, then I'd be like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, and a thousand percent I'll do that
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: because it doesn't it doesn't affect me either way, but
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: if it's important to her, then I'm gonna do it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So even though I think it's a non issue, there
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: is a part of me that goes, Okay, she's communicating
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: and he has other pins. So if it's something other
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: than safety issues and he's not giving her a reason
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: for it, then why won't he pin it?
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: It's giving controlling from her, no from him, like she wants.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: This and I'm not going to her. It's like I'm
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: gonna laugh at all.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of being like it's another If it's important
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: to her and I have these other pins of important moments,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: then why not pin it for a week or whatever?
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So jeh, you're right, Beca, You're right.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Because there are things that I think are important, and
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Haley's like babe, but because it's important to me, she
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: will do things that she thinks are maybe like a
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: non issue.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and my compromise.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: So that's my take on it.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Do I like Becca's take better than my own?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: Wow? Very generous of you to say that.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: We have one more fun one, but first.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: Oh a break.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Indeed, we're back from Cammi Hi, Tanya, Becca Market easton
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: greeting from South Dakota. Yes, people live here. I've been
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: to South Dakota. Me too, Really, I visited Mount Rushmore
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: when I was a lad on The Bachelor.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Oh look at that one on one date was deadwood?
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Dead with South Dakota. Anyone else been to South Dakota?
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: But still half the team has been there, So that's
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: pretty good. Cami. On a not so serious note, what
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: is everyone's talk? I want you to be as specific
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: as possible, and then I'd like you to rank your
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: top five fast food restaurants. Love the pod and thanks
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: for keeping me entertained at work.
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: I mean I got the both these answers.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: You go ahead, both of you.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: I weirdly know mine too. I mean I don't want
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: to talk about often but I know my order.
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: Okay, Well, my order is I get a cheesy Gordy
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: to crunch, I get a crunch Wrap supreme with three
• 26:26
  Speaker 6: cheese instead of nacho cheese, and then I get a
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: large wild cherry PEPSI wow.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: The thing about Taco Bell is that I switch it
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: up because the menu is so good.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: So I would say.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: My current order lately has been a Mexican pizza with beans,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: no meat, beans, cheese, tomato, and then I add sour
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: cream on top, and then the chips and cheese nachos
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: because that cheese is like the best cheese in the world.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: And then I get a Baja Blast mountain what's it
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: called Mountain dew, Baja Blast.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: Zero or whatever.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: But I've also really been into a just like a
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: soft taco, just like a classic soft taco delicious.
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: My order is a bean and cheese burrito with no onions,
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: extra sauce, two orders of nacho's so like, you know,
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: the chips and cheese because I like to dip the
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: chips into.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: The britos of theo. And then I get a double
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: decker taco.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: They don't have that anymore.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Since when well it's been a long time.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Damn, I know I have been chasing the hive of
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: a double deck.
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: They brought it back for a second, and then they
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: got rid.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Of it again. Well that's my order, and then I
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: a water.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: It's great.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: I can't forget the cinnamon twist.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: And throw me some cinnamon twist. But I'm not really
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: a guy who goes with the taco bell because I
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: got cheese issues. So whatever I get would be without cheese.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Mark, it's not real cheese.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: It's a three cheese blend, one of those cheese is.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Chances are it's a problem. I can't risk my life
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: on a three cheese blend.
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: You could do a lot of stuff without cheese there.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and cheese burrito.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: Oh they have like avocado. Now you could get rice.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: I would do a chicken burrito. I would do it.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Definitely do a breakfast burrito if I made it there
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: before the time and say no cheese, That's what I
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: would do. I like a cinnamon twist.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, cinnamon twist. Top five fast food places in and out?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I would say, I also say in and out.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: I would say in and out, in and out, okay.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: On our list?
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: What else?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Any other nominees?
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: I would say Taco Bell is in my list.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Not on my list, but anyone else.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd say it's on my list.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, what's up.
• 28:46
  Speaker 6: Oh I'm taco is not on my list.
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: Okay, let's get your top five.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: I think Sonic has got to be a I love Sonic.
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm shocked that you love Sonic. It was that
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: like really fun thing for me to do in college.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, me too, I have like very nostalgiic. Okay, uh, actually.
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: Talk about it was on my listpits at the bottom.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: It's in and out. Wendy's. Wendy's good one, raising Cane's
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: McDonald's Taco Bell.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: Wendy's is a good one because you really can't get
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: that fry's and milkshake combo anywhere else.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I think Wendy's has the best fries. Oh interesting, I do.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I believe that where the McDonald's that's right for.
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: You to Wendy's fry like plane like virgin like with
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: nothing like only in the frosty.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, but still just the fact that you could
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: put it in the frosty hints at a certain amount of
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: structural integrity that French.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: Yes like a McDonald's one is gonna be crumbled up there.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: That's not true.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: But I like a McDonald's fry better than a Wendy's fry.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: That okay, I'll go these actually can they change depending
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: on just my life and where I'm out in life.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: But I'll give you my top five in and out McDonald's, Taco, Bell, Sonic, and.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go raising kids, all.
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: Right, Okay, I'm gonna go in and Out's my number one,
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: Sonics my number two. I guess Tacobo would my three
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: Jack in the box? Interesting because I love the tacos
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: and the curly fry. I'm gonna go Carls Junior. Wow, Yeah, okay,
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: that's right.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: That's I'm gonna say. Oh, shake shack, okay, honorable mentions.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: All right. I'm going in and out on the top
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: McDonald's for purely nostalgic reasons. I loved it growing up,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: always hung that was the high school hangout was McDonald's, Wendy's.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Love the fries. Uh, I'm putting on Dairy Queen. I'm
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: a big fan of the Dairy Queen.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: That's not really like it is.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: It's fast food. It's a chain like they even have
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: burgers and stuff there which I don't get. But on
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: my first day with my wife, we went after the
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: baseball game, went to til We went to a dairy
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Quinn and I love it independent of that feeling anyway.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: And uh and then a number five of putting culvers
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: because it's a Wisconsin company. Shout out to culvers.
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: My parents love culvers.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Culvers have some obsessive fans.
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's I had it one time in Utah.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: It was so good.
• 31:19
  Speaker 6: They had a they had a burger and it was
• 31:21
  Speaker 6: made of a giant cheese curd. It was so cool.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: Wait, does culvers have custard? Frozen custard?
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, yeah, that's what my parents always go get burgers.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: And you would love the frozen custard.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: It sounds like it.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: You would love it. By the way, I'm good with
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: all of it. You get your ice cream, you got
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: your custard, you got your frozen yogurt, you got your gelato.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: I love it all. Wait.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: I also love Freddy's.
• 31:44
  Speaker 6: Freddy's Freddy there's more Freddy's coming out Southern California. Yeah,
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: we're we're in for a tree.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: That would be my honorable mention because I don't get
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: it often. Well, that was I loved that conversation. That
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: was so fun.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: I love a being and cheese burried up from tacobot.
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like I learned a lot about you
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: just now.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: No one is exciting dip the chip That's what I
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: do too, but I go no sauce. Yeah, if you're
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: missing out.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: A note on this thrilling note, we do have to
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: go g O. But it's a it's it's it's just
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: in time for the weekend.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: So we love you so much.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: I love you, I love e b y e