Latest / ROI of Peace / I spent so long keeping everyone happy, I forgot I was someone too with Christy Hughes
Transcript
- Courtney Koenig: Welcome to the ROI of Peace podcast. I'm so excited you're here. So excited we get to spend this time together. I'm sending you lots of hugs. I love you friends. Like, thank you so much for always listening and sharing these episodes with friends that need it and sharing these messages to your stories and all the beautiful things. So I have a list of personal and professional goals that I want to get done and I've actually just put them, I like to keep it easy. I just put them on a sticky note, keep them on my desk and it doesn't It's not more than the sticky note. Big. I'm saying I'm not using a sheet of paper for any kind of goals because that's so overwhelming and I'll just want to rip it apart and go work at Target. So one of my personal goals this year is to introduce more color into my home. I don't know if I've been influenced by all the Instagram color drenching, color situations, white is out. I don't believe any color is out ever, you know? ⁓ I just think it's what we love. And so anyway, when we moved into this house about eight years ago, I think we painted the whole thing white. It was all like this and it needed some freshness. Let's be honest. And so we painted the whole thing. We did the kitchen, some bathrooms and flooring. I mean the works. I was so excited to do that. And now as I've been coming into this year, I'm like, I kind of like, I love my office. You've guys seen this green. is literally my favorite green. So I painted. the front room, which I want to be my art studio because, you know, our kids are all grown and why not start taking over more parts of the house? And so we painted that drenched it in the same green and it's so stunning. And like it has crown molding at the top and then we painted the ceilings too. I know my family just did not like me a lot, but I did make them some treats. I think I baked them bread actually. So they got over it. But I wanted to change some other spaces in my house while not like painting the entire thing because that's not going to happen. And so when Beckham gets home from college, one of the things we're going to do, cause he loves projects. So we love doing projects together. He's going to help me put up paneling in the family room. Cause I've always wanted to do that. And then I would try to decide in the family room, it's kind of like a pocket. It's connected to the kitchen, but it's kind of this own. alcove, is really cool because you can be in the kitchen, but you can see the family room, but it's a little, it's a kind of alcove situation. So I thought it would be really pretty to introduce like another color in there. I'm repainting my kitchen island, which is this like nine foot island from black to this green that I love. I'm obsessed with green. It's like my favorite color. But, ⁓ and then I found this gorgeous wallpaper for my other office. ⁓ that is currently like it's white and has a one wall of wallpaper. But anyway, this new wallpaper has all these colors of blues, greens, and very like flower, but like soft, like if you like a lot of texture with a lot of colors, but it's not in your face. It's just very muted and gorgeous. So anyway, ⁓ I was thinking about like this pivot of me changing my house and thinking, ⁓ my goodness. I remember. The blood, and tears that went into painting this house because I painted the ceilings too. White. Painted the trim. Everything was white. And how fresh and vibrant it looks. And I still, I love white. And I will not get away from that no matter what Instagram tells me. But I was thinking, you know what? It's okay to evolve and to change and to like different things at different stages in life and to feel called to different areas, even though changing from white to a color is completely opposite direction. It's okay to evolve. It's okay to pivot. And that's the beautiful part of our lives, personally and professionally. When we pivot and we listen to true intention, honoring the your own truth, our own truth inside of us, it's not a pivot that is just giving up. It's not about giving up this certain thing. It's about seeing what's there for us, exploring it and even going for it. And then in the process, there can be a pivot and that is okay. That is completely fine. And we jump into this with Christy Hughes, my absolute amazing guest who we were actually at South by Southwest. were at Creighton Cultivate. We're in entreprenista together. We've never met. And she commented on LinkedIn and I was like, wait a second. I've been a guest on her podcast and she just has the best energy and she And I dive into this pivot and how it's built into our human design chart and how dropping the guilt is really important about pivoting and, sticking with something until you see what's there and, being creative with what's next. So Christie Hughes has helped the women stop overthinking and start moving. She's a creator of the Thrive Framework, a leadership consultant and host of Rock the Dam Boat. After years of leading high performing sales teams and managing multi-million dollar accounts, Christy now works with women at their starting lines, helping them trust themselves, take action, build lives and careers that actually feel good. I can't wait for you to meet her and remember that we get to spend more time together too. So you can look in the links of the show notes to see how we can spend more time together and you can spend more time with Christy too. All right, we'll see you inside the episode. Take breath. You've got this. Welcome everybody to the ROI of Peace podcast and welcome Christy to the podcast. I'm so excited that you're here. I feel like it was predestined or preordained. We were meant to have this conversation. Yes. I'm excited to be here too. I know. And we just totally, when I saw your message on LinkedIn, I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this girl. We just connected so easily and we recorded on your podcast. And that episode was beautiful when we were done recording. I'm like, that was so easy. That was so great. Well, I just can't believe all of the things that we have that connect us in both where we are geographically, people we know, the event that we were at that we didn't know each other yet at that event. it's, yeah, I keep saying the universe has conspired to bring us together. So I'm excited to be here. It really has. I know it's so amazing. Well, we're going to dive into the pick your piece game that we do at the beginning of each podcast. And this is from my app. And this are ⁓ one of the pages in the app. It's these 12 interferers. Now an interferer is a pattern that we sabotage ourselves over and over again. And everybody has, when you take the interferers assessment and friends, can take it, it's in the show notes, you'll find your top four interferers. Now I've assigned a number to each interferer and randomized it. And so, Kristy, you get to choose a number between 1 and 12, and we're going to do that visualization story for that interferer. Okay. I'm going to go with 10. 10. Okay. 10 is the people pleaser. Okay. Here's what's funny is I was, I know you do this practice. I was going to go with 6 because I was born in June. So 6 is one of my lucky numbers. And intuitively, just now I chose 10. And you know, podcast is for recovering people pleasers. again, meant to be meant to be. This is so beautiful. ⁓ I, ⁓ you'd love it. All right. So everybody listening and, and Christy, if you're in a seated position, you can close down your eyes. We'll take a breath in and a deep exhale, another breath in and exhale all the edges away from our bodies. In these few minutes, you're investing in peace. and that investment starts working right now. The overpleaser learned to keep everyone happy so she wouldn't have to be rejected or cause conflict, but that's a lie. Real peace doesn't come from keeping harmony on the outside. It comes from honoring truth on the inside. Let's dive into the story. There once was a woman who lived at the edge of a canyon. Each morning, voices drifted from the cliffs around her. What do you think? Do you agree? Will you help? And every time, she answered quickly, yes, of course, you're right. Her words bounced back through the canyon. At first, it felt peaceful to hear her own echo return, proof that she had pleased everyone. But after a while, she noticed something missing. Her voice never sounded like hers. One day she walked deep into a canyon, farther than before. The walls curved high and close, holding her silence. For the first time there were no questions, no voices, just still air. She was quiet enough to hear her own heartbeat. She placed her hand on her throat and whispered a word that wasn't an echo. No. The word didn't bounce back. It stayed in the air, warm, alive and true. She tried another word. Yes, this one came from her chest, not from her fear. It sounded different. It was full, grounded and free. She smiled, realizing her voice had been waiting all along. Not to echo, but to exist. When she left the canyon, her silence no longer scared her. She no longer rushed to fill it. And when someone asked her a question, she paused long enough to listen to herself first. Her peace didn't come from pleasing others. It came from hearing her own truth. Where are you finding yourself echoing others instead of speaking your own truth? How does your body feel when it's an honest yes? versus an automatic. What would it sound like to speak with your voice today with your real intention? Well done. That's another investment in your piece. If you've closed your eyes, you can open your eyes. Great, Chrissie. Okay, tell me what came to you during that story. Well, so anyone watching, I am wearing a necklace today that is a piece of turquoise that ⁓ dear friend and sobriety mentor gave me at my nine months of sobriety. And I wear this turquoise piece because it's necklace pendant, because it's throat chakra energy to me. So turquoise is the color of the throat chakra. And hearing you talk about her heart and just feeling into her heart. And so this pendant resting right at my heart space, I just felt all of that energy and that building of energy that happens when we do Like get out of our heads and into our hearts and into our bodies. And so I could just feel that, that heart energy and that throat energy and using your voice. And I've done so much work on that myself. And I mean, I still have moments where I have to practice the pause. And that was something that you mentioned too, was, you know, pausing and so practicing that pause before giving an automatic yes. And so it just, It was a wonderful reminder for me of how far I have come in learning how to practice that pause and learning how to use my authentic voice. And I think this just putting on this necklace this morning was a wonderful reminder of that. And so yeah, I'm very passionate about women learning to set those boundaries and use their voice as well. Yeah, and I think it's scary when we're first starting to set those boundaries and become as I am a people pleaser. And it's one of my inner fears, it sabotages with my peace and happiness. And one of the things I struggle with is I want people to be happy, the people that I love, you I want them to be happy. I want to care for them. And it's been hard to create those boundaries around. that because I'm almost aligned my identity with someone else's happiness. Mm-hmm. That makes a lot of sense to me because I think that was my whole life and what guided my whole life was just making sure everybody else was happy and between sobriety and then menopause when your hormones change and you're like there's a reason that woman that runs the We Do Not Care Club is so popular because you reach a point where you just don't care as much anymore. And that's great for people pleasers. Yeah, I know. I love her so much. She just crushes my soul every time. I'm like, this is so great. I do not care, you know? And so take us back on your sobriety journey. Take us back to the moment where you realized something had to change. What was actually happening? So I turned 50 last year and headed into my 40th birthday. I was wanting to change. I was living in Phoenix, Arizona at the time and I had a lot of good friends and I had met my now husband and sure I enjoyed going out and having a good time, but I was to the point where I blacked out most of the time. Didn't matter if I had. couple glasses of wine I usually drank on an empty stomach. So it was just not taking care of my body at all. And I would black out really often. And so I would think, well, there's not really a point in this to have a good time because I usually don't remember it. Or there was the shame spiral that came with having to ask my husband what happened the night before or looking back through my texts, all of the shame that comes with that. So approaching my 40th birthday, was like, Hey, don't want to enter my is being the party girl anymore. just started to feel like there was an opportunity for a better life or to be the best version of myself, which sounds so cliche, but it was true. I, I just, I wanted to give back in a bigger way. I had this dream of, was working out regularly at the time and I was like, I'm going to open a gym for women in their 40s who like maybe are intimidated by a regular gym, but they know they need to lift weights. I was really entrenched in bodybuilding at the time. And I was kind of living this double life of like, okay, I'm working really hard in the gym and I'm undoing all of that work with what I'm doing, drinking and going out and smoking. I mean, I've smoked when I drink. So was all these destructive habits. And I started letting that guide me. ⁓ I guess, you I wanted to, I didn't want to be a hypocrite by having this gym and this health, promote this healthy lifestyle and having this horribly unhealthy lifestyle. But it took me until I was 43 to get sober. And I always think there's the term sober curious, which your listeners may have heard. And so it's this idea that you know that you want to get sober, but you're not sure how to go about it. Not sure if you have the willpower or the stamina. And if it takes three years, it takes three years. I stopped drinking several times over those three years. I would always try to get a little bit longer, a little bit further ahead. And I had stopped drinking for, I think I was at 90 days that time and my grandmother died and I loved her so much. She was almost a hundred years old and I drank that night. But then. going home to say goodbye and being around my family just changed everything. I was like, I'm going to live a life that models my grandmother, teetotaler her whole life, generous of spirit, just was someone that people admired because she was so good and kind and loving. And so that's really what led me into finally getting sober. mean, of course there's some drama behind the final decision. But just when you asked, you know, kind of what led up to that, was like, really, my grandmother was my role model for that. well. And was it her life that inspired you to want this new life? So I think I just always, I was so fortunate to have her for so long in my life, more than 40 years. And I'm sure, and I... We can talk about my memoir, but when I went to write my memoir, I thought about, sure, there were things that made her human, just like anyone else. She was judgmental in certain ways. And so I know that she had her flaws, just like any of us do. But absolutely, knowing how loving and kind she was, I thought, I want to live like that. I do not want to keep putting myself in dangerous situations, blacking out, not remembering things. I'm I'm better than this. Yes, and you wanted more. And I feel like those big life experiences where someone passes away or really teach us so much more. My mom passed away suddenly about 15 years ago. And it was really horrific to go through that. I was like my s*** and I had little kids and It was just, and it was such a horrible time. It also really taught me one of the greatest lessons that I bring into my life now is she had an autoimmune disease as well. And so I would have loved to talk to her and be like, how did you navigate all this? You know, cause she had it like in her twenties and I'm like, oh my gosh, I cannot imagine. But I really, from that, was like, oh my gosh, life is so precious. Life is so precious and so important. I, it gave me this lens that. You know what? Nothing is forever. And what I want to do during this life is make this something that is intentional, not just something that's passing me by or I'm working more or I'm doing whatever. I really want to have experiences and live life and look back on it and say, wow, that was hard, but that was joyful. And I created that. Yes, that I hadn't. thought about it really from the lens of her passing being this catalyst. I mean, I knew it was, but I guess the way you're saying it, does remind me that it was her looking at her life and then looking at mine and making that comparison and realizing that she had a church full of people to honor her. had written, I was writing a blog. I started a blog in 2019. So I started writing weekly and I had just written a blog about her and her going into the hospital. And I got up in front of the congregation and read that blog at her funeral. And I think that was like the immediate moment where it was like, okay, I'm up here. We had hung over, had drowned my sorrows in wine. And so I was up there and I felt like such a hypocrite. And so, yeah, it was really the catalyst to say, okay, I'm gonna do more with my life. And then I started to write her story. I was gonna write her story. And I ended up, when I finally got sober two years later, ended up writing our story. yeah, she just definitely the influence over this final journey. And one of the interesting things too is, Being around family. So you're you're saying just making those connections and realizing from being home. was I was back in I was in Arizona at the time. So I came back to Texas. We had the funeral. I stayed in Texas for probably 10 days and it was around my family my parents and all of my extended family. And it made me realize being away from them in Arizona. Yes it was very freeing for a while but then I wanted to be closer to them and That move back to Texas changed everything because we ended up living in a house across the street. Our neighbor was in 12 step meetings. so those, you think about the things that happen that you can't see at the time and all these little things that fall into place. we're like, had I not moved back to Texas, ended up living across the street from someone who could take me to my first meeting. yeah, it just, the way it was supposed to. That is so beautiful. That is so amazing. two, it goes back to, well, in the 12 steps, my husband and I, one of our volunteer positions in our church was to help with the addiction recovery program. And so we're very familiar with the 12 steps and stuff. And one of the things that I always love about that is one of the steps is recognizing a higher power. I can't remember exactly how it's worded. Like a god of your understanding. Yes, yeah. And it really is those miracles that are being placed in our path that is helping along the way to get to the other side, know, like having your neighbor be, you know, in the program. Like what a divine way for you to get involved in that too. Yes, yes. And I think too, like also, yeah, you turn your life over to the God of your understanding and my path has changed and I think that, you know, there's different programs and different ways for people to get sober now that you can find what works for you. Like that for me at that time was exactly what I needed. And I went to meetings for two or three years till COVID and then I ended up joining a different group, but different program. I just, yeah, the way everything fell into place was, yes, divine indeed. Yeah. Well, and it really does bring up a good point too, that like what you need right now can change. You know what? It can look different in the future. It can look and evolve. I was just telling my client before this to one of the tools that I love to use is to be a surfer. You know what? Like a surfer is in the ocean and they see the waves coming and they jump on the wave and they go with the wave. They're not like, Hey wave, would you move over here? Do you mind? You know what? They recognize the power of nature and the power of surrendering to the process. And so whenever I'm trying to control things too much, I'm like, wait a second, am I being a surfer? Am I going with this? And that flexibility really does help navigate the next steps in life. I love that because I also, eventually my journey and my path introduced yoga. and I became a yoga teacher and I owned a yoga studio for two years. I just closed it in December. But one of the books and people I study is Rolf Gates and he was a surfer in California. He's a yoga teacher first and foremost, but one of his hobbies is surfing. And I'm rereading his book, Meditations on Intentions and Being, and he talks about the surfing analogy and just that same idea. So I love that you're sharing that with your clients because It is powerful and it's, yeah, whether we talk about going with the flow or whatever that looks like, we really do have to surrender and I'm struggling with that right now, but I know that it's, ⁓ at least I have awareness to the fact that I'm trying to control outcomes, but I know that it'll, I'll find relief and that we're always human, just like I talked about my grandmother being human. I mean, we have things that are going to creep up and Just having the awareness and learning about ourselves, just like you talk about, know, just finding that peace in the ways that we can. Yes, totally. Well, and your human design kind of points the way of like why you're like, hey, I want this, I want to go this way, you know? And so for everybody listening, if you're like, what is human design? Human design is like a personality test. It's like if you love the anagram and strength binders, you're going to love human design 10 times more. because it goes into 10 times more depth as to like, what's the blueprint of how we're born, the gifts that we're born with, how we're meant to operate best. And the first place that we can start, and if you don't know your human design or you want to know more, you can look in the comments ⁓ to get the link, is your human design type. So Christy, you are a manifesting generator, and this is such a powerful human design type. You are built to move fast. to do multiple things at once, really to follow what's lighting you up right there, that like sparkly internal feeling. You have more energy when you have that feeling and that sparkle. And when it's connected to something really intentional, when you've said yes to that thing, that's where you want to go towards. And when it's a no, you feel kind of this heaviness and this responsibility and it can go sideways from there. So the mantra for manifesting generators is I respond, I build, I move. Because you're like a bouncy ball. You're like bouncing from one thing to the next to the next. And it's not that those pivots are wrong. It's that you've gained what you needed in that moment. And going on to the next thing is part of your journey and part of your path as well. And so whenever we see a bouncy ball, it's hard to catch them, right? It's hard to grab onto them because they're like bouncing all over the place and it looks like chaos. But it's not chaotic. It's very planned. You're hitting one part of your journey and then a next and then a next and then the next. So have you had a hard time navigating pivots in your life? have. it's so, this tracks so well because I was just, I'm starting to build Substack because as a platform because I wrote my book Strong Word, Swayward Soul five years ago. It's about to turn five years old and I wrote this book and I kind of, did a lot with it at the time and then I kind of put it out of my mind and I was, then I launched a retreat business and that had a certain name and then I opened this yoga studio and it had a different name and I was just starting to think about migrating some of my email lists over to Substack. I thought, I feel, okay, people pleaser in me is like, I am about to ask people to move to a new platform to follow me. And I actually had chat GPT map out each year, like what the name of the blog was and what the name of the brave kind retreats, and then all these different websites I've had. And I had to map it out to kind of look at it and say, you know what? I mean, this is okay. Yes, it continues to change, but I was really struggling with the fact that I had the BraveKind retreats and then the Rooted Soul Yoga Studio and now thrive with Christy as a business. it's like, but I have to look at it as I'm at the heart of all that. But that's hard. That's hard to do. I just feel like people are going to be like, she changes names every two years. no, and it's, and that's what you have to take out because honestly, no one cares. You know what? No one's thinking that. But the thoughts that we battle in our own head about ourselves is really where human design comes in. And so people, like in the pivot, this is where manifesting generators get on themselves. And they're like, oh, why do I have to do this again? I pivot again. Can I just focus in on one thing? But those thoughts are not meant for you. And you can kick those out and be like, my process is to bounce. And in the bounce, it just gets better and better and better. And so it's really important to have that bounce and to gleam all those things. And if you look back on your journey at the beginning and look back to where you are now, like you couldn't get to where you are now without the history. Yes. That's so true. And I think now I'm hosting a couple more retreats this year. again, just because the name change doesn't mean that the intention behind them isn't the same. And we still want to help other women. help them unplug and find peace. so, yeah, it's funny though. I mean, it explains so much that I am definitely in my head about that. Yes, yes, totally. Well, and another part on your chart that stood out to me is your not self theme. And so when you're looking at the human design chart, there's this body graph part. And then on the other side, there's your type and there's different things that are laid out. And one is called a not self theme. And this is your signal that things are can change. It's like a stop sign. It's like, wait a second. Hey, don't there's something that needs to stop needs to shift needs to change. And you're feeling that something needs to change is frustration. And so this is when you're like, ⁓ something's off track. It's not quite lining up or whatever it is. So when a manifesting generator is feeling this feeling, you might have been saying yes to things that should be a no. You might, you know, with the people pleasing, know how that goes. You might be pushing instead of pausing. You might think, ⁓ if I just do more, if I just stay busy or if I just get more things done off my list. But that pause can really help you evaluate what is for you and what is not for you. And frustration is not a character flaw, it's a compass. It's designed to say, this isn't for you. Let's find what is. So have you felt that feeling of frustration as you've been on your journey? Certainly, many, many times. I think when... So I left corporate in November of last year. I had been in retail my entire career and I decided that I would jump into creative entrepreneurship with both feet. Like you're saying, I had all these different ideas and I was getting frustrated with the lack of traction and with myself. Just, thought that I would have more hours in the day. I thought it would feel like I had more hours in the day because I left corporate. So it's like, ⁓ okay. Well, I've always had this like side thing. Now I can devote those eight hours a day. And I just, I felt like everything was happening at a snail's pace. So interestingly, I stopped in February and I said, I'm going to finish my manuscript. So I had had this other book about my other grandmother, of loosely based on her life. And I thought I'm going to stop and I'm going to finish that book. And I did. And so for three weeks, I kind of stepped away from social media, just did the bare minimum. I finished that manuscript. Now I'm editing it. And so I'm looking forward to launching that second book. I'm also, I'm almost to the point again where I'm kind of like, okay, well, I have a retreat coming up in a couple of weeks and then do I need to like take a step back? because writing lights me up so much and I'm finding myself getting frustrated with all these other things I'm doing that feel like have to's instead of want to. so I think that's the part too. I mean, for anyone, any entrepreneur, it's like, you just, you can get. And I don't know if this ties back to my chart at all, but I feel like I love to listen to my intuition. And at the same time, I keep trying to figure out like, okay, somebody's got the answer. And it's like, well, you do, Christy, but you know, just take the time. Yes, and yeah, you have the answers that the truth is within you. And the truth comes when we pause. And with your human design type, you're a go, go, go. You have lots and lots of energy. And so it's hard to pause. But what do you do? to create a pause in your life and in your schedule. And it doesn't have to be like sit down and meditate for a half hour. I think, you know, like that works for a segment of the people, you know, for sure. Have you found something that really helps you to be able to reflect and to get to that truth? Been trying to get outside more. And I think that that's what like right now we're having a beautiful Texas spring. And so that's been nice because Yesterday, I went to the nursery, got a couple of plants, redid some planters by our front doors. I planted a raised bed garden a few weeks ago. And I do really get into that project or that process and I get to be outside. So I have been doing my best to prioritize that outdoor time that is physical instead of up in my head. And even when I go on a walk, It's sometimes like I still am thinking. So something like gardening or a plant project means that I'm only thinking about what's right in front of me. Yes. And that it's like, creates this real sense of presence when you're doing something. And so I often suggest that too is when people feel like their mind is going all over the place and depending on their human design type, depending on their body graph side with the centers, I'm like, do something that feels like you're using your body. in lots of different ways so that your mind can kind of zone out. can kind of like, whether it's a puzzle or it's knitting or gardening or whatever it is, you know, find that time where you can dive into something. I have been taking up watercolors and oh my gosh, I love it. It's so fun. I'm just like, this is so great. It's like, I love that creativity piece, you know? And so, and creativity really does help us. to navigate that. Another part on your human design chart that really stood out to me is when we're looking at that body graph, we're seeing all these centers on there. And when the centers are colored in green from my site, they're colored in green, that means go. That means they're always with us. And so you have a lot of centers that are always go, which is crazy because that means you have gifts that are always on. And one of these gifts is your will power center. So this is your heart center. So it's kind of in the middle off to the side. and your heart center is about willpower drive. It means basically that you see a mountain in front of you and you're gonna crush it, blow it up, walk around it, whatever you have to do to get to the other side, you're gonna do it. And you're not going to, you're gonna have the energy to continue on this journey, to climb the uphill battle or to get to that tough goal. And the cool thing about these... goal that these gifts that we have is you can give them to others too. They can feel the spirit of this like determination, this I will not give up on this. I will continue going forward. Now sometimes our gifts can be our greatest challenges as well, you know, like we get this because with all this willpower, with all your energy as a manifesting generator, you're going to be like doom, doom, doom, like you're just going to go all the time. We're going to figure this out. We're going to go for it. When was the last time you rested without justifying it or without feeling like you feeling guilty? Okay. I'm terrible at that because when we were talking about those things I do outside that are in the moment, I do I'm working through the part of me that feels like I should be doing something more productive. And my mom tends to be my compass with that when last year when I was working so hard and traveling so much and I had the yoga studio and I was doing all these things. She's like, I just think you should rest. And of course you don't want To listen to advice from your mom, it's, I mean, really anybody, and maybe there's some, you know, interfere in my chart of like, you know, I can be really stubborn and that's part of it's my grandmother's genes. She was stubborn. And so it's hard to hear that. And I think you have to kind of get to that place, just like getting sober. I mean, people could tell you all day long, but you have to get to the point where you are willing to do that. And so I'm certainly working through what that balance looks like. And it's interesting too that you brought up that I, so the word tenacity is something that it's in the hook of my book, A Story of Sobriety, Tenacity and the Timeless Wisdom of Grandmothers. And then it's part of the thrive framework that I use on my retreat curriculum and to help women learn how to get unstuck. so tenacity is, can be a really good trait. But to your point, it's like, there's, okay, you have to find that balance of like, okay, that's what's going to get me to my goal, but I can't do that at the expense of everything else. Yes, totally. Well, and I think there's this like, that we feel like we have to qualify in order to get rest and rest. I'm seeing rest as a broad term of things other than work, you know, like, you know, Cause I feel, was telling a friend, was like, I love this entrepreneur journey, but I feel like I could be on all the time. And with MS it's taught my body, like you cannot be on and you have to really chill a lot. So I've really embraced resting in different forms without guilt, without feeling like I'm a bad person, you know, and navigating that. And so it really is about finding something that's outside of work. that is fulfilling to us that lifts me up. like, love doing ⁓ projects around my house, not like too intense, but like, ⁓ one of the things that I have decided to do is like, ⁓ I want to induce color into my house more, you know, like I love like this, my podcasting room is this green. Maybe I'm being influenced by all the Instagram, you know, like colors out there and stuff like that. It's crazy, right? Yeah, well, it's funny because that's another thing we have in common. I have this green sofa behind me. I've got plants in this whole room. So maybe it's just, yeah, I mean, it's, I've just always been drawn to it because of nature and becoming kind of the crazy plant lady. Yes, totally. And I think it's that justification that hobbies are actually good for us. Hobbies make us well-rounded. You know what? So, ⁓ and that's a part of resting, you know, it's a part of resting our minds and our bodies. changing the pace, I think of the beauty that there really is, and finding something outside of work that really is fulfilling as well, and not justifying that we have to be at our desk answering emails, doing all these things all the time, because more is not necessarily better. Yeah, and I keep thinking about the feelings that come up for me right now, having left corporate in November, five months in. I am so grateful for my sobriety journey because I remember the first nine months being terrible, and if I'm being honest, and there's a lot of people in recovery will say that when you hit the nine-month mark, it's like you've birthed a new you. So we think about your pregnancy being nine months, technically 10, but just this idea. It's like you are reborn at nine months and this necklace that I'm wearing was given to me at nine months versus a year because kind of the same idea. so I keep thinking like this all feels so foreign, but my hope is that at the nine month mark, I'll be like, gosh, I don't know why I've gotten myself like so worked up over all these things and that maybe there will be some realization and recognition because right now, yeah, and I think that that's. probably going to be my life's work is not attaching my worth and my value to my output and my productivity. Yes. It's always been that way, always, my whole life. Just, you know, we can be high achieving women and then it's like, how much of that is authentic versus trying to prove something? Yes, and trying to prove something to other people. And that's what I love about human design. is that it tells us a story that we don't have to prove anymore. We can operate with true authenticity and genuine honoring of what our body needs. What's a sign that we're not living in this alignment? You know what? And we can listen to that sign instead of driving past it. we can lean into the gifts that we're born with. You know what? There was another part on your chart that I was going to ⁓ pull, but... It was like this voice of charisma. You have this voice of charisma. And I was like, no wonder you're having to podcast, but your voice comes out through your books as well. so playing around with these gifts and asking ourselves how, if I have this gift, what could I do to play around with it even more? That's the beauty of human design. And when we talk about the ROI of peace, these are really, ROI of peace is a lot different than ROI in business. Business is all marketing, sales, performance, all these measurable. markers of success. But in the ROI of peace, it's different. It's a return that fuels everything else. It's clarity, resilience, sustainable success, joy, alignment. In what areas of your life, either personally or professionally, are you asking for more peace right now? think it goes back to that permission to do things that aren't at the computer screen and that aren't driving my business forward. It's like, these are things that are just for me. And that's exactly why I wanted to find that balance and left corporate last year was because I thought, well, I want to try to reclaim some of that time and peace. And so yeah, I'm interested to see where it goes just because I know that the first handful of months have not been peaceful, but I definitely, I'm giving myself permission to step away from the computer early and go take a walk, walk the dog, do a yard project. It's been fun. Yes, I do. I think that permission to reclaim, I love that word reclaiming, you know, and you get to have that intention about what you want to reclaim. and about what energies you want into your life, you know what? And if it matches, it matches and you go forward. Christy, this has been so wonderful. ⁓ my gosh, I'm so glad that we had you on and shared your beautiful story. You were able to open up to us about that. I know people want to jump into your world. So what's the best place to get connected with you? Everything is on my website, which is thrivewithchristy.com. And my name is C-H-R-I-S-T-Y. The best way to spell Christy, there were a lot of Christys born in the 70s. ThrivewithChristy.com, I'm also on Instagram. My favorite place to reach people right now is through my podcast, which is called Rock the Damn Boat. And so I love sharing that. And of course, you will be on an episode too. yeah. Yes, this is so great. ⁓ I love it. I'm just so, yeah, it was so fun to record and Thank you listeners so much for listening today, for our friends, for being here with us. It means the world to me. When I see all the listeners all over the world, I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, I just love that this moment that we get to link arms together. And because we know that peace is the true investment for all that we really want. All that's on your heart is there for a reason. And you get to go after it and peace gets to surround you instead of pressure. All right, we'll see you inside the next episode. Thank you.