Latest / The Great Wealth Transfer / Family Wealth Manager: The Boom-Bust Rule Every Investor Ignores | Keith Alpert

Transcript

Family Wealth Manager: The Boom-Bust Rule Every Investor Ignores | Keith Alpert · The Great Wealth Transfer

• 0:00
  We're in the middle of a around $100 trillion transfer of wealth from one generation to the
• 0:06
  next. In most cases, it's going to be handled poorly. But in your family, it seems to be going
• 0:12
  really right. Told me one time you spend money like a drunken sailor. As somebody that spent
• 0:16
  money like a drunken sailor. Here I am basically being given the responsibility of managing all of
• 0:23
  this. I don't want to mess this up. My dad spent 50 years working major league, putting all his money
• 0:29
  away. And the last thing I want to do is jeopardize that. Keith Alpert has spent more than
• 0:35
  two decades in financial services and recruiting, and today he manages his family's investments and
• 0:42
  trusts as a family wealth steward. Shortly before his father experienced serious cognitive decline,
• 0:48
  Keith stepped in to protect the wealth that his father had spent over 50 years building. And now
• 0:54
  Keith is preparing the next generation to steward it responsibly. What would you say to anybody
• 1:00
  who's listening to this? And they know their family has some resources. How to broach the
• 1:07
  conversation or what to do? What would you say is a good next step? I think it's
• 1:14
  inquiring about. And so we're going to look at it through the lens of Keith Alpert, who
• 1:20
  truly made a big transformation around all of this. Keith, welcome. So glad you're here. Great.
• 1:25
  Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. Well, I really appreciate you letting us in behind the
• 1:30
  scenes, because I think this is a conversation that often doesn't get had because it's intimate
• 1:34
  and it can seem private. And yet the more we talk about it, the more that we can know how to handle
• 1:40
  it. We're in the middle of a around $100 trillion transfer of wealth from one generation to the
• 1:47
  next. In most cases, it's going to be handled poorly. You've seen examples of that, and we'll
• 1:52
  talk about what happens when it goes wrong. But in your family, it seems to be going really right. And
• 1:58
  I want to go back to before it was going right. Um. Let's go. You know, 2016, 17,
• 2:05
  18 time frame. What was true in your relationship back then to your family's
• 2:12
  resources? Um, I guess I had, um, I didn't have much of a view
• 2:18
  into, you know, the wealth where it was or anything. You know, my father had pretty much, you
• 2:25
  know, managed everything up until that point. Yeah. Um, I mean, I just had a general idea that, you know,
• 2:31
  he was doing pretty well for himself, and he invested well, and, um, that's really it at that
• 2:36
  point. Yeah. And I seem to recall that, like, maybe you weren't so sure how to relate to it. Really?
• 2:43
  There was uncertainty. You you had a business that is not like you really loved doing that business.
• 2:50
  And you knew that your dad had these resources, but you weren't really sure,
• 2:57
  like what was appropriate, maybe, of how you should relate to them. Does that seem right? Yeah, I think
• 3:04
  that's a fair assessment. He always played everything pretty close to the vest and he was
• 3:08
  not a big risk taker. So yeah, could have anything to do with, you know, putting money into some
• 3:12
  unknown situation. Yeah that would have been scary for him. Yeah. He was really like he was keeping it
• 3:18
  all in banks. Yeah. Many banks. Many, many banks. Yeah, yeah. And and there may have seemed like there
• 3:25
  wasn't complete and total trust between the two of you around that. Tell me about that. Yeah, I
• 3:31
  think that was I mean, if anything I think was just more my, my relationship to money because, um,
• 3:37
  you know, I grew up as a as being always told to save my money. And, um, I kind of rebelled against
• 3:42
  that. And so I always spent my money. Right. Um, so I think that, you know, on the one hand that we both
• 3:47
  grew up in the world of finance. So, um, he could trust me in the concept of knowing how to do
• 3:53
  things. He wasn't always comfortable with what I would do right in those situations. So I think
• 4:00
  that that's probably where where things came. But I've never actually asked him that question. Um,
• 4:05
  and so I don't actually know what his answer would be. And it may be maybe you thought that he
• 4:10
  would even think of you as a spendthrift. Oh, he definitely thought me. You know, he because he told
• 4:16
  me one time you spend money like a drunken sailor, right? You know, so it's pretty much, uh. Yeah. Right.
• 4:22
  Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And, and and yet there came a point at which it made sense for us to sit down
• 4:28
  with him and your stepmom and have a conversation about money. Do you recall? It was a long time ago
• 4:34
  now, about six years. Do you recall what preceded that? Like what led to. Okay, now is the time. We
• 4:40
  need to sit down and talk about this. It's hard for me to go back to that, but, I mean, I was at the
• 4:44
  time we we started conversations about setting up some family trusts. Just create the, the framework
• 4:50
  for how to manage, you know, the family assets going forward. Um, I know there were some
• 4:56
  conversations about, you know, hey, if somebody wanted to start a family business, you know, you
• 5:02
  know, he'd be open to that. And, and, you know, so those were some of the conversations that might
• 5:07
  have been happening around that time. Yeah. I do remember when we sat down with him that one of
• 5:13
  the questions that really seemed to get through to him was when I asked him why he created it,
• 5:19
  why? Why did he create all of these resources? I don't know if you remember what he said.
• 5:26
  Um, I don't remember what he said. Yeah, yeah, I do, I do. I remember that he said that he he did it
• 5:32
  because he wanted to create family security. He wanted there to be security and, um, uh,
• 5:39
  and, and and if I recall him acknowledging that and him being able to start to
• 5:46
  acknowledge you, the reason he wanted you to be secure, he you wanted your sister to be secure. He
• 5:51
  wanted your mother his, you know, your stepmother. He wanted everybody to to be secure. Yeah. Yeah. No,
• 5:57
  that does make sense. I mean, both my father, my father lost his father when he was nine, and then
• 6:02
  my stepmother lost her father when she was 16. Yeah. So they both came from what? I guess what you
• 6:07
  would call probably an unsecure. Right. Um, situation. Yeah. So, you know, money is always been
• 6:14
  this thing that. Hey, if I have it, I know that, you know, we have a roof over our heads. We can we can
• 6:20
  feed ourselves. And I think it was always all about that. Yeah. And it seemed as well to me that
• 6:26
  when we had this conversation that him feeling from you that you also cared about, that was
• 6:33
  almost like an unlock in a way where he could start to, to trust you. And the first step that we
• 6:40
  took in the process of him trusting you was, I think I said, okay, the two of you just need to sit
• 6:44
  down and inventory what there is like actually look at what do we have here? Do you remember
• 6:51
  that? That transition from you not knowing to then knowing? Yeah. I mean, I don't remember that exact
• 6:57
  conversation, but I definitely know sitting down in his office, literally going through every
• 7:03
  single file folder that he had, you know, putting it in spreadsheets and literally documenting
• 7:08
  every single account that he had. Yeah. Um, and that was I mean, I'm a data driven guy, and he is not. So
• 7:15
  I mean, he's, you know, all papers and all this kind of stuff. So having it all in one place very
• 7:20
  easily to see, um, was great. He simplified everything. Yeah. Also, what I recall at that
• 7:27
  time is that I think I, I, I felt that I gave you permission. And I'm curious if you really received
• 7:34
  this. I think you did, to recognize that that was a job that you should get compensated
• 7:41
  for. Do you remember anything about that? Because before that, you were kind of doing this business
• 7:46
  that you were really into, and then you really shifted your attention all of your time, energy
• 7:52
  and attention to taking care of the family. Yes. What was that transition like? I mean, it was I
• 7:58
  mean, in a lot of ways it was a very it was relieving because I wasn't enjoying what I was
• 8:04
  doing. Um, and so knowing, you know, again, we set up these trusts and basically
• 8:11
  I've been getting paid as the person that manages both of these trusts for the last six years. Um,
• 8:16
  and it's given me a lot of freedom. So, you know, while it's not calling a major full time job, I
• 8:23
  mean, it's still a full time job. Yeah. Um, constantly. But it's also allowed me to veer off
• 8:28
  and open my gardening business, which I'm absolutely love it. Yes. So, you know, it's it's, um.
• 8:35
  Yes, it's it's giving me a whole bunch of freedom and it gives I, I just, um, I feel great about being
• 8:41
  able to take care of the family as As he was. And I'm I'm trying to do it a little bit differently
• 8:48
  in the sense of trying to educate, um, the next generation, i.e. the my kids and my sister's kids.
• 8:54
  As far as the grandkids, as far as understanding, you know, money and just being smarter about it.
• 8:59
  Yeah, yeah. The other thing that I noticed, and perhaps it was coincidence, I don't think so, that
• 9:05
  there was a personal transformation in you around that time as well. Like, I noticed
• 9:12
  that all of a sudden you began showing up different in your, in your own life. Like maybe
• 9:18
  before that you were playing more or, um, not taking as good care of yourself before. And then
• 9:25
  at the same time that this all happened where you stepped into this stewardship, you changed really
• 9:31
  so many things in your life. Do you think that that those were related and what did you change?
• 9:36
  Well, uh, you know, the whole thing. You know, I still have a lot of ways to go on that, but, um, you know,
• 9:42
  I'm definitely doing a better job in that department. But the truth is, is that, um, as
• 9:48
  somebody that spent money like a drunken sailor, um, here I am basically being given the
• 9:55
  responsibility of managing all of this and, um, just recognizing it's like I,
• 10:02
  I do not, you know, forget about. Can't be. But I do not want to be irresponsible, but I it's just not
• 10:09
  going to work. Yeah. And so, um, I've it's been a hard journey for me because it's like I've
• 10:16
  been living a certain way for a long time. Um, but just really becoming more responsible and more
• 10:22
  prudent around the decisions and not be so, you know, quick to, you know, you know, even when it
• 10:29
  comes to investments, you know, just not really being diligent in some areas of just being
• 10:34
  wanting to I want to help the whole world, you know, so if an investment comes my way and it
• 10:38
  looks good, it's like, oh, let me put some money here. You know, it's like, no, I gotta hit the brakes
• 10:42
  and I gotta be more, you know, careful in, in, in and around what I do, but just, you know, all of that.
• 10:48
  It's really like I don't want to mess this up. My dad's about 50 years working, you know? You know,
• 10:54
  major league putting all his money away. And the last thing I want to do is jeopardize that in any
• 10:59
  way. Because you're taking care of him now. So. So shortly after that, we'll we'll we'll say, you
• 11:06
  know, shortly after that, your dad really declined cognitively. Yeah. Really kind of quickly, right
• 11:12
  after you got clear about everything there was. And I've heard you describe him and what he's
• 11:18
  like now. Maybe, maybe tell us a little bit about what what is he like now at six years later,
• 11:22
  what's his life like? I mean, literally right now he he basically can't do anything by
• 11:29
  himself. He, he he literally gets lifted up and put in and out of bed. Um, he's in a wheelchair all
• 11:36
  day. He gets fed. He has trouble swallowing swallows food. Um, he can speak a little bit, and he
• 11:43
  understands. And the people that he's closest to, he does remember, but he pretty much doesn't
• 11:49
  remember a whole bunch. Um, you know, anything past that? But he seems happy. He's content. He's content
• 11:55
  with. Just just the other day, he was trying to say something. He was trying to say something to me on
• 12:00
  a call, and I. And I said, did you want to say something to me? He goes, I'm happy. I'm like, okay,
• 12:07
  okay. Fair enough. Yeah. I also, I often refer to your dad as the most as the happiest
• 12:13
  demented guy there is. It's it's amazing. Like, all the stories that I hear about is a lot of people
• 12:19
  in Jamaica, they get very belligerent and angry and, like, we have not seen that with him at all.
• 12:26
  The angriest he would get is if he didn't give him a second scoop of vanilla ice cream. Yeah, I
• 12:30
  mean, that's pretty much it. Yeah. Well, and I attribute that honestly to the role that you have
• 12:36
  played in stepping up in such a way that has him feel secure and he doesn't have to worry about
• 12:42
  anything because he knows that you have stepped up in this way. I mean, there's I would imagine
• 12:48
  that's sitting there subconsciously. And like when I do see him, I do remind him of that, that, you
• 12:53
  know, everything is being handled. Everybody's okay. He did amazing. And he really knocked it out of
• 13:00
  the park. When it comes to making sure that he took care of everybody. And so he he succeeded.
• 13:06
  Yeah. He won the game. He did. He won the game. Imagine that. You would not have that. This had not
• 13:13
  happened. We had not sat down and had that conversation that you would have stayed in your
• 13:17
  spendthrift ways, that he would have stayed in control, and then the cognitive decline would have
• 13:24
  happened. What do you imagine would have happened in that context? I don't even know. Right? I mean,
• 13:29
  you know, on one hand, if the if, if the trust were set up and that was in, you know, then mostly
• 13:35
  things would be okay. But I don't even know if we would have gotten to that point. Yeah. Um, you know,
• 13:41
  there were powers of attorney sign. There were. There was control that was handed over. Um. Very
• 13:48
  free. Yeah. Um, you know, early on that once he once he really, you know, the
• 13:55
  second he went into memory care, I mean, you know, nobody can sign a POA at that point. Right. Right.
• 14:00
  So, you know, these things all took place where he was still mentally with it. Yeah. Um, and just made
• 14:06
  everything easier. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Grateful. Yeah. I mean, you may not have even been able to find
• 14:13
  everything, right? If if he hadn't been there with you tracking it down. Well, yes.
• 14:20
  Yes and no. I mean, like he he did keep really good track of all his documents. I mean, there was a
• 14:26
  folder for every single account folder. So. Yes, I mean, if I would have went through everything, I
• 14:32
  would have found everything eventually. So it wasn't that complicated. To be honest with you. I
• 14:38
  mean, he just he had a handful of investment accounts, and they had a whole bunch of, you know,
• 14:42
  bank accounts. Right. And that was easy. You know, he didn't have any of these complex investments
• 14:47
  sitting around or not really knowing what was going on. And so the information was there. But it
• 14:53
  took, you know, like, I think it took at least a week, um, you know, of, you know, like 6 to 8
• 15:00
  hour days and going through all this stuff to really get it all locked out. And do you remember
• 15:05
  when you actually became in charge? What that process was, was it,
• 15:12
  you know, paperwork? Was it him agreeing? Like, what was that like? You know, when when we
• 15:19
  were when we were sitting down with the lawyers and we were working on the trusts. Um, you know,
• 15:24
  that was a two year process to get all of that dialed in. And it was clear in that process. I
• 15:31
  mean, because there was a lot of very minutia conversations that were happening. And he was
• 15:38
  just he was, you know, you could just tell like he, you know, he would just defer to me, like, you know,
• 15:43
  whatever he thinks, whatever he thinks. Um, it was just too complicated for him to to manage, and I
• 15:50
  that's when I got a real good sense of, like. Yeah, like I'm gonna literally have to deal with all
• 15:55
  this. Yeah, you're going to take it over. You have seen the flip side, actually, just recently, uh,
• 16:02
  when it's not handled, maybe tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. So, um, my fiance's family, you
• 16:09
  know, um, had a, um, it's actually an ex step mom.
• 16:15
  Mom. Okay. Who, um, who has a who who has a son, uh,
• 16:22
  with with her father that, you know, she she had some, like, heart issues, and she was looking to
• 16:29
  get her stuff in order because she thought that, you know, she may not be around for much longer. Um,
• 16:35
  and she wanted to, you know, it's not like it was a ton of money, but she wanted to make sure that it
• 16:40
  was going to the right place. Um, and she wanted to not have her son, um,
• 16:47
  you know, receive the assets because he had he was, uh, he had some gambling issues. He was not
• 16:53
  responsible. And she wanted the money to go to, um, the granddaughter. And,
• 17:00
  um, she had wanted my fiancee to be the trustee on it because she knew that she would be, um, a clear
• 17:06
  minded person and not, you know, bowed down to this, to the to the to the brother. Um, and so we were
• 17:13
  having those conversations. Um, and, um, we come to you asking for some suggestions about
• 17:20
  some lawyers down in Florida. And, you know, the price tag was a little bit too high, and she, she
• 17:25
  passed on that she was going to go find her own situation. And then the next thing you know, she
• 17:31
  died. Yeah. Um. And she died before anything. And putting this
• 17:37
  into place, and and we don't even know where things are. And we just came back from Florida
• 17:42
  from the memorial service. I literally went to give console condolences to the to the brother. He
• 17:47
  wouldn't even look at me. You know, we we we felt, you know, he we found out that he had found out
• 17:54
  that we were talking to the mom about this or he's obviously not happy. So if he is in one hand
• 17:58
  realizing that his mother was trying to cut him out of this. Mhm. Um, so it was strenuous to say the
• 18:05
  least. But the bottom line is the wishes are not going to be implemented. We have we believe that
• 18:11
  he's he is the executor and he is the, the, the heir to whatever assets that she had.
• 18:18
  And I don't believe there's going to be any opportunity to, to get these assets properly, um,
• 18:25
  you know, to the granddaughters and overseen and managed to properly. So that was a lost
• 18:31
  opportunity. Yeah. And there's nothing that could be done at this point. Yeah. Yeah. There's there's
• 18:36
  just really not. And so, you know, as people are hearing this and they may be in a
• 18:42
  situation where, uh. They're thinking about how to approach their
• 18:49
  parents about it because, you know, I think there was also a context where you said somebody
• 18:54
  approached somebody and they were called a gold digger. Let's talk a little bit about that. What
• 18:58
  was that context? Yeah. So this was um, on the other side of the equation, the father who again, my my
• 19:04
  fiancee and her sister don't have a great close relationship. And, you know, even all their years
• 19:10
  growing up because their parents got divorced very early on. And, you know, he's been a bit of an
• 19:14
  absentee father in a lot of ways. Um, but, um, I don't know, a few years ago, he went down and we
• 19:20
  visited with him. We had a really nice visit. And then after the visit, um, um, my fiance, our
• 19:27
  sister decided to, you know, compose an email to the father, knowing that I was very involved in
• 19:34
  this whole estate planning and getting the ducks in a row and all that they sent him, you know. Um,
• 19:40
  which would be considered not really an aggressive email, but just an email that's out of
• 19:45
  care saying, hey, you know, like, not sure if you thought about this, but just want to make sure
• 19:49
  that you've got a will in place and the proper people. And like, he just totally took it the wrong
• 19:54
  way, as if, you know, these people that don't even have a relationship with me want me to put this
• 20:01
  stuff in place, they can only want one thing. Yeah, right. And so that was kind of yeah, you know, the
• 20:06
  pushback on that and things have not been great um, since then. Yeah. So yeah, I think, I think that
• 20:12
  there's a lesson that we can that we can learn from that, which is that the connection has to be
• 20:17
  there first. Right. We've got to create a connection. And that can be hard. You know,
• 20:24
  it's like, how do we create that connection when there isn't a connection? Before we even start
• 20:30
  talking about the money or the will? And my sense is that it could happen through the lens
• 20:37
  of wanting to make sure that you're taken care of. And I think that might even be how we approached
• 20:41
  it with your dad to begin with. It wasn't about you getting the money. It was about you being able
• 20:47
  to step into your role to take care of the family, which is a very different frame than we want to
• 20:53
  make sure that the money's going to pass the right way after you die. And so we were able to
• 20:58
  kind of reach him through this, his own desire to care. I wonder if you know
• 21:04
  it, like reconnection could be made now through a different lens. Like, is that even possible?
• 21:12
  I mean, given what I know, it seems like it would be really, really difficult at this moment. Um,
• 21:19
  and, you know, even beforehand, I don't like it was such an estranged, um,
• 21:26
  relationship, right? Um, in many, many ways, um, I mean, like, anything is possible if it's if
• 21:33
  you come out at the right way. Yeah. Um, you know, but, um, I, I, you know, given given who he
• 21:39
  is and how he operated, I don't know, I really don't know. He seems to favor the sun. Um,
• 21:46
  and, yeah, it's hard to say, but I, I would say in a different circumstance, maybe it would be a
• 21:52
  different type of personality, um, that, you know, there there definitely are ways to to get a
• 21:59
  proper connection. Yeah. Maybe he has more connection with with his son. Yeah. You know, and
• 22:03
  because that connection is there. So I think that the lesson that I'm taking away from it and that
• 22:08
  I've seen again and again really is like, we have to leave with that heart connection. And if the
• 22:13
  heart connection isn't there, it's really hard to then transfer the trust that comes with the money
• 22:19
  connection. Yeah, I would agree because, you know, um, and I and I even said this to my fiancee, like,
• 22:26
  I can understand why her father had the reaction that he did. Yeah. Like, I get the fact that, you
• 22:32
  know, it was a very innocent, you know, request and you know it, you know, wanting to make things. But
• 22:38
  given the relationship. Yeah. I can understand why he may have come at it from that angle. Sure. Um,
• 22:45
  so, yeah, queuing it up in a different fashion. Um, yeah. You know, uh, could have given a different
• 22:50
  outcome. Yeah. More heart connection first? Possibly. Yeah. So taking all of these lessons, you have
• 22:56
  children who are young adults, uh, just, you know, like mine. And what are you doing differently
• 23:03
  with your children now? I'm doing my best. Right? Because it's it's interesting because I'm already,
• 23:09
  you know, I'm trying to implement some things and some changes different than I did. Right? But I'm,
• 23:15
  you know, I'm going to be 58 years old. And so my kids are 26 and 23. So for the last
• 23:21
  26 years I've been modeling my, you know,
• 23:28
  loose. You spend 58% thrifty ways. And it's very clear that my son has already picked up on
• 23:35
  some of that. Um, my daughter seems to be a little more thrifty. Yeah. Um, or should I say a lot more
• 23:40
  thrifty, um, than that? Um, I wish I would have, you know, caught on to this a little bit
• 23:47
  earlier. Um, but we did have a call with my both my kids and their cousins
• 23:53
  just to talk. Just just really start having conversations. Yeah. Um, about, you
• 24:00
  know, the youngest one. He's going to be 21 in November. Like, the conversation was really
• 24:07
  about like, hey, you guys are all adults now. Like, you know, you have to pay taxes. And there's just
• 24:13
  like, you know, just talking about some adult things that in a lot of ways, you know, parents may
• 24:18
  be handling, you know, for them up until this point and basically saying, hey, look, we're here to help
• 24:25
  you, but we don't want to do it for you. Mhm. Right. I grew up in a in a row, a realm where my
• 24:32
  father would literally both for my brother and for my sister. I mean I was in finance so I had
• 24:38
  the tools and I understood all this stuff. But like you know, my dad would say things about like,
• 24:43
  oh, she doesn't know anything about this. And like I remember saying to him, well, if you continue
• 24:48
  doing it all first, she's never going to know anything about this, right? So you have to push it
• 24:53
  back onto them, offer them the help and support and advice, but also be a little bit like, look,
• 24:59
  it's up to you to do this, this, this and this. Get it back to me when you're done and I'll help you,
• 25:05
  you know, get it to the account or whatever the conversations and just to get them to, you know,
• 25:11
  hey, just Google it. Do some research. Understand? Right. You know, I don't want to. I don't want to
• 25:17
  lecture. Right. I've been. I've been guilty of lecturing for way too long. I want to stop
• 25:21
  lecturing and give them the opportunity to do someone else learning on their own. Did your dad
• 25:26
  do that with you? No. No, no. I like I had one. The message I got was, you know, work hard and
• 25:33
  salt your money away because that's all that's going to buy your freedom, right? I mean, well, it's
• 25:37
  a good message because it's true in some ways, right? If you can create wealth right, then you
• 25:41
  don't really, you know, you're independent. You don't have to. You know, you can kind of, you know,
• 25:46
  make your own game. So I mean, the, the, the bottom line to that. Yeah. Made sense to me. But there was
• 25:53
  no education in the process. Yeah. We look throughout your life, but there had been an
• 25:57
  earlier time where you could have stepped more into the role of stewarding family resources,
• 26:03
  maybe made different choices. If your dad had included you in the conversation sooner? I think
• 26:09
  it's possible, but I think that, um, the and this, this goes with all of my
• 26:16
  parrots, right? You know, I have I have four of them. My stepfather's been gone for a long time, but
• 26:21
  they all I, I call their generation called the children of the depression. Yeah. Okay. So they're
• 26:27
  all kind of coming, and they. And they all basically grew up without anything, right? So, like,
• 26:33
  they come from the scarcity mentality. Yeah. Um, so even if I was able to have this conversation
• 26:40
  a long time ago, I think the fear that was inherent in him and my stepmom would have been
• 26:45
  too overwhelming for him to take his hand off the bat, the clutches of the purse, so to speak, and to
• 26:52
  open up. It was just all way too scary. Right. You know, the you know it. We both worked on Wall
• 26:57
  Street. Um, and like, you know, the market's always going to crash, right? Right. You know, he's wrong
• 27:02
  for 12 years, right? Ultimately it crashes. Right. So that just reinforces that it's going to crash.
• 27:07
  Yeah. You know. And how are you being with that reality now? Because here we are at this moment.
• 27:13
  All all time highs in the stock market. But consumer confidence at all time lows maybe. How
• 27:19
  are you processing today. Is, is um, you know what the word unprecedented is like one of the most,
• 27:26
  you know, common words, you know, whenever you're talking about finance these days. And I do believe,
• 27:31
  you know, especially with the whole AI transformation and everything that's happening
• 27:34
  now, um, with, you know, just the leadership that is just, you know, pilfering, all of, you know, the
• 27:41
  American citizens, all of this that's happening right now simultaneously. Um, I am
• 27:48
  trying to take a more broad view of the situation. Mhm. Okay. And like history,
• 27:55
  it's like I ran a recruiting business right, for ten years. Right. And like when people go in for
• 27:59
  interviews they're we sound great. But at the end of the day the only thing you can bank on is the
• 28:05
  background. And what have they done and what what, what have they done? So if you look at the markets
• 28:11
  okay. Over the history. Okay. There's booms and busts constantly.
• 28:18
  But in every single situation the same result occurs. As big as the bust is, the
• 28:25
  recovery is always bigger and better than the last time. Yeah. Okay. And I just
• 28:32
  have to hang my hat on. That cycle is going to continue. Yeah. Okay. So to me
• 28:38
  it all comes down to there's no timing of the markets. Okay. It's all based on how old you
• 28:45
  are, where your money is, asset allocation. Take your risk off the table the older that you get
• 28:52
  okay. Um, and if you're younger and you have many years to go, you can go along for the ride and you
• 28:59
  can stay there. I did read something about there's more money lost for people trying to pull money
• 29:04
  out and stop themselves from getting hurt from a crash. Then the money,
• 29:11
  they. Then the money that would have been made if they just left it. It sure, if they have the time.
• 29:16
  If they have the time. Right. Of course, you know. But yes, if you're 80 years old, you should not be
• 29:21
  heavily invested in the markets right now, especially today. Yeah. What should they be
• 29:26
  invested in if there are any results? You mean, you know, look, if everything is relative, there's no
• 29:33
  like, all of the stuff that gets pushed out to us on social media telling us, you know, you know, this
• 29:38
  is the way that, you know, everything is predicated on your own personal situation. Yeah. Um, it's not
• 29:45
  just about how much money you have. It's about how much money you spend. Right? Okay. And it's your
• 29:49
  lifestyle. It's all of that. So you cannot answer any of these questions, you know, to a general
• 29:55
  audience, everything has to be looked at on an individual basis. Um, you know, and it's it's
• 30:01
  complicated. Very complicated. You know. And there's there's no guarantees. I mean, like, you know, can
• 30:08
  you guarantee. Like, can you guarantee that you're going to get yourself 4 or 5%, even if it's just
• 30:13
  in fixed income with no risk? Well, you could for a long time and then and then Covid happened and
• 30:19
  then interest rates got cranked down to zero for like two and a half to three years and so. Well,
• 30:24
  okay. Well, if you were banking on your 4.5% and you did have a lot of money that's down the
• 30:28
  toilet for those three years, so you would have had like a goose egg. So, um, and then here we are,
• 30:35
  you know, with the new, um, um, with a new head of the fed. Right. You know, they're thinking, oh, this
• 30:40
  guy is going to bow down and start cutting interest rates. Well, based on job numbers just
• 30:44
  today and where things are at, like they're like saying they're going to raise rates and the
• 30:49
  market's getting hammered today. So it's you know it is very it's so day to day. And
• 30:56
  there is no you know it's really all about your age and your risk tolerance and what you can
• 31:00
  stomach for yourself and. And what your expenses are and what's going to be just that. And you're
• 31:06
  really managing for a wide range because you've got the, you know, 20 year olds and you've got the
• 31:12
  80 year olds, and you need to manage the entire thing to make sure that there's enough to take
• 31:16
  care of the 80 year olds. Yes. And of course, you and your fiance and then the 20 year olds. Yes. And
• 31:22
  so is it that you are. Do you have buckets? You know, like this bucket is for the 80 year olds and
• 31:27
  this one's for the 20 year olds. Yeah. Yes. Technically speaking, right. When I came into this
• 31:32
  and I took over, I know this sounds crazy, but my father was an 85% cash, okay? As
• 31:39
  a I mean, where was this? He was 80 at the time. Yeah. Um, and, well, that's great. If
• 31:46
  100% of his wealth was, you know, just to support him and my mom, you know, and, you know, well, then
• 31:52
  maybe that would have made some sense. Right? But like, if, if, if pieces of that money are free, your
• 31:57
  children, your grandchildren. Um, no, that's way too conservative. You never keep up with
• 32:03
  inflation. Um, it just wouldn't work. So, you know, there's there's buckets in a general sense. Like,
• 32:09
  my mindset is like, you know, there's always going to be X amount of cash around, you know, to make
• 32:14
  sure to get my parents to the end of their life no matter what. Um, no matter how, you know, you know,
• 32:20
  the market crash, we could lose 60, 70% of our invested assets. And there's still plenty of cash
• 32:26
  there to pay for my parents. And that's that's my mentality. That's the right. Okay. And, you know, the
• 32:32
  last thing anybody wants to do is have to sell their invested assets when the markets are
• 32:36
  crashing. Right. So there's definitely, you know, earmarked, you know, accounts that are like, we're
• 32:42
  not touching this thing for at least 20 years, right. Right. So those are the ones that, you know,
• 32:46
  let it boom. Let it bust. Let you know, let all that stuff happen. And then I'll talk. I'll start taking
• 32:52
  a look at those things in 12 to 15 years and saying, you know, if there's ridiculous growth then
• 32:58
  we can start slicing some off the table. Yeah. So that I mean, that is really what I'm hearing is it
• 33:03
  seems really prudent that you've got your this is going to this amount is going to take care of our
• 33:08
  needs no matter what. And really prioritizing your parents because they created it. You got to make
• 33:13
  sure that that's there. You've got the long term for the for the kids. And then what I imagine is
• 33:19
  you've got what you can play with. You know, that's like, it's yours really. You're playing with it for
• 33:25
  your life and you can have a little more fun, maybe. Yeah. Well, it's funny because
• 33:32
  the things that like the play money is, is stuff that, you know, and, and I'm, I'm invested in some
• 33:38
  things that my father wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole and which is like, you know,
• 33:42
  looking at them and saying, oh, you know, these are these are good asset allocations. But but the play
• 33:47
  things are also very socially minded investments. You know, we're involved in some regenerative
• 33:53
  agriculture, some little micro loans to, you know, like, you know, poor areas to help, you
• 34:00
  know, lift people up out of poverty. So, um, you know, these are, these are, these are play areas, but
• 34:07
  they're also they matter. Yeah. Yeah yeah. Yeah. And like, you know, whether or not they're, you know, I'd
• 34:12
  like to believe that they're all going to be successful because they're in areas that that
• 34:17
  really matter. And there is money to be made in these, in these sections. Um, but uh, yeah. So
• 34:23
  we're deploying to some, you know, risky things that the reward is there. If they do. Well, it's, you
• 34:29
  know, so. And the reward is there for you personally as well, because you're contributing to
• 34:34
  your community, to making the world a better place with those resources, which is important to you as
• 34:38
  well? Yeah. For sure. You know, we also and we also have a small family foundation that we've been
• 34:44
  managing. And, you know, again, like there wasn't really utilized as much, you know, over the past
• 34:50
  five years, we've, you know, we've increased the amount of money that we put into it in the the
• 34:55
  different organizations that we support. Because again, it does matter. Yeah, right. I mean like,
• 35:01
  um yeah, it it matters. We do want to give back. We've, um, we've been very lucky. Yeah. So we
• 35:08
  like to give back as best we can. And with all of that, you have started a business.
• 35:15
  There's little side business that you started because you love it. Right. So you're not just
• 35:21
  relying on all of this. This could all go away, and you could end up just a gardener. Tell us about
• 35:26
  that. Yeah. So, like, one of the things that keeps me up at night is like, okay, well, I'm
• 35:33
  getting paid a salary to manage all this stuff, but I'm living my my salary is literally from my
• 35:38
  inheritance. Right. Okay. Which that annoys me. Mhm. Right. Why? Uh,
• 35:46
  because like I mean like we're well first of all, I, I'm, I've been handed this fear of
• 35:52
  money. So no matter how much money I may have, I'm still worried about running out. It's just like an
• 35:58
  Aaron in my being. Yeah. Um, so I have that piece of it, you know, inflation and everything. You know,
• 36:04
  that's when you're paying $35 for a plate of pasta. Right. Okay. Like, you know, these are the
• 36:09
  things it's like, oh, my God. Like, I'm, you know, like. And I have no idea. I'm not in the
• 36:15
  business of guessing when somebody's going to pass away. And like, at the end of the day, like, um,
• 36:21
  I have to be prudent about, like, you know, how all this is going to work. Um, so I just don't like
• 36:28
  it all going out the door. Like anything that I can make on my own that's outside of me spending
• 36:33
  my salary right is going to is going to allow me to save some money. Right. And so I want to not
• 36:39
  only do I love gardening and want to help people grow vegetables and do a beautiful gardens for
• 36:44
  people. Um, I also want to, you know, call it, you know, stop the bleeding a little bit, so to speak,
• 36:50
  on the money that's just going out the door. Got it. And so yeah, that's a concern to me. Yeah. So and
• 36:56
  instead of, you know, just continuing a business, you didn't like the recruiting business really.
• 37:00
  You were just doing it for the money. You kind of had to in a way. You created this business based
• 37:06
  on stuff that you love. Yeah. Yeah. And so tell us about it. What is it like to be a gardener? What
• 37:11
  are you doing? Well, I mean, yeah, I've been growing my own food now for almost 20 years. And every
• 37:18
  year it's a I. I, you know, take more space in my yard, more beds. And it was sometime last
• 37:24
  year I was like, I want to help other people do this. Anybody who comes to my house, they
• 37:29
  absolutely love the garden. And, um, so I just decided
• 37:35
  to, you know, hang up a shingle and say that I'm running a gardening business. And, um, I sent out an
• 37:42
  email last year, and five of my friends, including yourself, said, hey, help me, um, grow some food. And
• 37:49
  that was, uh. Um, I went away for a month between April and May, and that's the absolute time I
• 37:55
  should be working on starving gardens. Um, so I had somebody help me with that, but, um, so far, so good.
• 38:02
  I'm actually glad that I didn't get tons of clients this year, because, again, I had parents and,
• 38:07
  yeah, hip replacement surgeries and all this other kind of stuff that I was attending to. Um, but it's
• 38:13
  it's slowly I'm going to grow this thing and like, I, I'm just very excited about it. I just want to
• 38:19
  try and keep growing it and, you know, like, I'll do anything to plant your gardens, to take care of
• 38:24
  your gardens when you're away, whatever it is, you know, it's like, um, one of my clients, like, she
• 38:30
  would have a house that her come in and be like, well, they would take care of the dog, but they
• 38:35
  didn't know how to take care of my garden. And I'm like, well, that's a that's an ideal client for me.
• 38:39
  So somebody if somebody has a big producing garden and they go away for a couple of weeks,
• 38:46
  like you kind of need somebody that knows how to deal with the garden to. To manage it. It's it's
• 38:51
  not. Um. Yeah. You have to know what you're doing. And no matter what happens, you're going to have
• 38:56
  food that you can share. Yes. At least in the summertime. Yeah. Yeah. At least. Right? Right. And
• 39:02
  it's not the rest of the year. But. Yeah, it's, um, it's funny because, um, you know, it's an it's an
• 39:08
  expensive. You know, people are like, well, well, you charge a lot of money. And I saw a meme that
• 39:13
  basically said gardening. The most expensive way to get free food. Right. That's right. It is very
• 39:19
  true in some ways. You know, so, yes, it's, um, but it's it's a passion project. I love it. Every
• 39:26
  morning I get my coffee, I go outside, pull some weeds, harvest some lettuce, do whatever it is. Yeah.
• 39:31
  Um, and it's just very relaxing. Yeah. It feels good. It does? Yeah. It's a nice. It's a nice balance to
• 39:38
  being on your computer and kind of disconnected. You're, like, really connected. Yeah. It's it's
• 39:43
  actually, it's actually interesting. I was on my desk this morning, you know, for about an hour and
• 39:48
  a half. Um, you know, like 6:00 in the morning. And, um, I haven't been on my desk that much over the
• 39:55
  past month because I've been getting all the gardening stuff, so it's like it's a nice break
• 40:00
  come the winter. I'm probably going to be back tied to my desk for a long time. But, you know, from,
• 40:05
  you know, March all the way through October. Right. There's a lot of gardening to be there. What would
• 40:11
  you say to anybody who's listening to this? And they know their family has some resources, or
• 40:17
  maybe they think they don't have that much, but they've got something like in in your fiance's
• 40:23
  family situation, they do not have a lot, but there's something and they don't know how
• 40:29
  to broach the conversation or what to do. What would you say is a good next step? Well, I think
• 40:36
  it's inquiring about, hey, you know, are you open to having a conversation about wills
• 40:43
  and trusts and estate planning because, you know, based on some things that I've been saying, it's
• 40:50
  extremely important whether you have money or you don't have money, right. Just making sure, as
• 40:56
  our lawyers said, making sure the plumbing is in place. Yeah. Okay. Um, you know, whether it's a
• 41:02
  beneficiary designation on an IRA account and even just checking accounts, any any account. Right.
• 41:09
  Like, you know, where do you want it to go? Do you have a will? Right. And just really, you know,
• 41:15
  prefacing it with, hey, this is not about me wanting your money. This is about me wanting not
• 41:21
  to have a disaster. Okay. When you're not here and really wanting to make sure
• 41:28
  that what you want is put into writing. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Um, we sat down with
• 41:35
  my mom last night. My sister and I, actually, and we, like, logged into every one of her accounts. We saw
• 41:40
  she had no beneficiary designation on her retirement account. If she had become
• 41:45
  incapacitated or died, you know that in the event of her death would have gone into her estate and
• 41:50
  then been stuck at the probate process. And, you know, just with ten minutes of sitting down
• 41:56
  together and looking at it, we were able to make sure that that's going to go in the right way. And
• 42:00
  so I know that my mom felt relieved knowing that we took care of that. Um, and so
• 42:07
  that's really the encouragement that I have for all of you is to to hear this and know that the
• 42:12
  next step is to broach the conversation so that I'm not getting the call from you after it's too
• 42:17
  late. Well, now there's conflict with a stepparent or an estranged family member or
• 42:24
  a sibling that you didn't talk about things with, or you just don't know where everything is. And it
• 42:29
  just does take a little something to lean in and say, hey, let's get into connection around all of
• 42:35
  this so I can make sure that you're taken care of in the way that you want. And that's really how
• 42:41
  you will navigate the great wealth transfer in the best way possible. I think there are ways that
• 42:45
  we almost can't prepare our kids for life until they're in their early 20s. Yeah, they're not
• 42:51
  living life until that. Yeah. It's crazy. Like even Ari. Like, she just turned 26, so she's got kicked
• 42:56
  off for my, um, health insurance. Exactly. Yeah. And so I was trying to help her out with stuff, and
• 43:01
  she says, no, dad, I want to do it myself. Yeah. Great. She, I think, is staying in connection.
• 43:08
  And that's what you've done. Yeah. And I gotta tell you, just the conversations with Jed have been. God,
• 43:14
  he's so much more clear, more engaging. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's a relief. It's really.
• 43:21
  Really good. So he's. And he's grown. He's grown cucumbers. He wants to make pickles. And so. Amazing.
• 43:27
  So good. It's so good. Yeah. I'm so glad to hear it. Tell me about the health care proxy. So. Yeah.
• 43:34
  So, I mean, so given my dad's situation where he's at right now. I mean, this is and again, I'm going
• 43:40
  to give you a lot of information here. So like, both of my parents signed a health care proxy
• 43:44
  probably back in 2019 or 2020. And it was a it was pretty clear that if they ever get into this
• 43:51
  situation where they need to be on life support or if they need to have a feeding tube, like they
• 43:57
  don't want any hydration, they want no nutrition, right? And they just want to cut off. Yeah. Okay.
• 44:03
  That's pretty clear. Yeah. But we're now in a situation with my father, okay. Where he
• 44:09
  doesn't need a feeding tube. Okay. But he can't do anything by himself. They feed him,
• 44:16
  but he has a swallowing problem. Okay. So when, like, a lot of times when he's eating,
• 44:23
  he'll start to. He'll start to choke. Yeah. And like, he'll be like. Oh. And he'll turn beet red and it
• 44:30
  looks like he's choking to death. Mhm. Okay. And but that doesn't constitute
• 44:37
  pulling nutrition and hydration away from him because he can still eat by hand. Wow. Okay, so
• 44:44
  and I've asked my mom and again this is where it gets really crazy. This is because I've asked my
• 44:49
  mom and I said mom, like, if you were in dad's situation right now, yeah. Would you want to be
• 44:54
  alive? Yeah. And she's like, no. Yeah. Okay. So but we but you know, we haven't
• 45:01
  adjusted her health care proxy. We've talked about going to Switzerland and she's got major back
• 45:06
  pain right now where we can't seem to figure that out okay. You know. But all this is well and good
• 45:12
  when you're cognitively there. But this, like, I guess what I'm saying is, is like having the
• 45:18
  morbid conversation of all these different crazy scenarios that could possibly happen to you and
• 45:25
  put them down in writing. Okay. To basically say, if I'm in this situation, this situation, this
• 45:31
  situation, just stop feeding me, Give me some morphine and just let me go away. Because the only
• 45:38
  place in the world that you can have assisted suicide without having terminal illness is
• 45:43
  Switzerland, as far as I know. Okay. In the United States, you can only do it if you're terminally
• 45:49
  ill and you know you've got six months to live and you have all. Well, and what is terminally ill?
• 45:54
  Like? We're all terminally ill, right? Like. But like, what is it? You're dying a little more every day.
• 45:59
  Yeah. Every day. We're all dying. Yeah. And. And so I think you're so right. Because we do have this
• 46:06
  big challenge, like with your dad right now, if you withdrew hydration or nutrition, he would die,
• 46:13
  you know? And is he asking for food? He he eats. He
• 46:20
  he does still want, like it's clear he wants. Yeah. You know, so it's like, again, like, right after he
• 46:25
  had his hip replacement surgery, like he was losing his white blood cell count that were
• 46:30
  giving him some extra blood. We literally thought he was going to die. Yeah. Okay. We were ready to
• 46:35
  just like, you know, just. Okay. See you later. And then two hours later, we get a call. Oh, he's going
• 46:40
  to rehab. And like what? You know, so he made it. And ever since he's been in rehab, he's. We pulled
• 46:47
  away all of his medications. He's taken a lot of medications, and he's actually more aware. Yeah. Um,
• 46:54
  and he's he, you know, he definitely can hear you in a conversation. He can speak a little bit. Right.
• 47:00
  So, like, I guess no, I would not want to be taking away his nutrition and hydration right now given
• 47:07
  his current situation. Yeah, right. Like, I don't know how he is right? From the people that love
• 47:13
  him. It's really hard to see him having to get put up into bed, put out of bed, sit in a wheelchair
• 47:20
  all day, sleeping all day. It's not a good life. Yeah. And and and. He says he's happy.
• 47:27
  Well, he says he's happy. But knowing a guy who cares so much about money. Yeah, okay. If we told
• 47:33
  him that it potentially is costing almost a half $1 million a year to keep him in this situation,
• 47:39
  would he want us to be doing this right? He may be like, fuck that. Yeah. No way. Yeah. Get me
• 47:46
  out of here. Right. Right. I spent his whole life saving all his money, investing all his money. And
• 47:51
  as we all know, the medical industry does a great job of sucking it all out of us when we get sick
• 47:58
  at the end of our lives. So I don't know what his answer would be. Yeah. And I can't get his answer.
• 48:05
  And so it's a very hard situation to be in. So like the more you can get
• 48:12
  these answers from your family, especially if there's wealth there because, hey, you know, you
• 48:18
  know, your parents may be like, I don't want you spending all this money on me if I get in a
• 48:23
  situation, just whoosh. Yeah. Lights out. I mean, because, I mean, that's my mindset right now when
• 48:28
  I'm 80 years old, if I'm, you know, if it's if it's a matter of costing a fortune to keep me in a
• 48:34
  wheelchair so I can get fed every day choking on my food half the time. No, I don't want to be
• 48:39
  involved in that. Yeah, it's too hard for everybody involved. And. Yeah, and it really is just literally
• 48:46
  sucking resources out of the family and giving them to the medical. Yes. Complex. So I,
• 48:53
  I do believe at the time that we are 80, 85, 90 years old, there will be like full blown robots
• 48:59
  that will be able to do all this stuff for us, hopefully at a fraction of the cost. Yeah, I still
• 49:04
  don't want it. I feel very clear. I, I really don't. I really don't mind as my birth mom always says,
• 49:10
  she goes, just put the pillow over my face. Yeah. You know, but yeah, but then we go to jail. We go to
• 49:15
  that. So yeah. But the morphine or you know, like the whatever, you know, some sort of like just take
• 49:21
  it out easy. Yeah. Uh, and the plans do need to be made of bands. Yeah. And it's it really until
• 49:28
  you're actually sitting there having these conversations, you don't even understand the
• 49:34
  specificity of what each one of these things are. Because we did have a conversation with my
• 49:39
  father's doctor when we pulled them off the medications. And like he did say that he felt my
• 49:45
  dad is in a terminal stage of his life, i.e. six months are left to live.
• 49:52
  But I'm not so sure. Right? Because he's actually been getting better, right? Since his.
• 49:59
  Yeah, it's just, you know, he's a unique and he's he's right. Yeah. Well, it sounds like I mean you've
• 50:05
  done you've done what you can. And now now really it is up to him. Yeah. Kovar. Yeah. He's he's in a
• 50:11
  palliative care comfort situation right now. Like we're not taking it to the hospital. Nothing like
• 50:16
  if something happens, it's just, you know. No more hip replacements. No. No more. Well, I mean, a hip
• 50:21
  replacement. I mean, maybe I can't, I, I wouldn't like that's the thing. It's like when the hip
• 50:25
  replacement conversation came around, it's like, I don't want them sitting in bed with a broken hip.
• 50:29
  That's going to be way too painful. Oh, because it was painful. I see. Well, we didn't know if it was
• 50:33
  painful. He didn't seem to be in pain. Aha. You know, at least he was on some morphine for one day, and
• 50:38
  then he was on Tylenol, and he was like, totally fine. I mean, he never was, like, wincing or any of
• 50:43
  that. Okay. Really bizarre. Yeah. So I'm saying if he were to if it were to fall and break his other
• 50:47
  hip right now. Yeah. Like, I couldn't see leaving him unattended with a broken hip because, you know,
• 50:54
  he likes to move and weasel out of his wheelchair all the time. And so I imagine that would hurt if
• 51:00
  he did. Yeah. It's really about the pain. So, you know, and it's, you know, again, you know, we gotta
• 51:05
  have a caregiver with him overnight because he tries to get out of bed and like, it's just, you
• 51:09
  know, again, it's just another expense that's not necessary. But it's necessary. That's necessary.
• 51:14
  Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks so much, Keith. You're also.