Latest / Two Broke Chicks / 10+ Life Lessons You Should Know By 30

Transcript

10+ Life Lessons You Should Know By 30 · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: two Break Chicks, a show that shares life lessons and
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: tips to help.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Make you rich in life.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And welcome back to the show, Bridget Hussway.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: We are so back me.
• 0:27
  Speaker 5: I'm so excited and this is my first time in
• 0:29
  Speaker 5: your steerience today.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Welcome.
• 0:33
  Speaker 6: It's so big and legit and amazing.
• 0:36
  Speaker 7: I'm so excited to be back as well.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: The last time you're on the show, we were in
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: for a wild fucking ride. Well but you just like
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: derailed the whole episode with one story.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Literally, we got the most iconic breakup episode ever.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: It was break good.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: It was so good.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Well not that you went through that, but but.
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that was the first time that I had really
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: spoken about it, but I just kept.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: After we were like, so we're all getting drinks, right, so rammed.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: It was like a pre game just hearing that story,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and I was like, guys, I need a drink.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: But we're glad to have you back on because we've
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: got you on.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Obviously, we don't need an excuse to have you on,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: but we want to chat about your brand new book,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Figuring Out Dirty.
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: Second book, second book of baby.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, how are you feeling now that it's
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: out in the world. It's been a few months now.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, relieved, I think, and you guys would know it's
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: it's you almost have and I think you sail as
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: a big music fan to you have like a newfound
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: empathy for people who put out big, like bodies of work,
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: like I always think of artists and just being like song,
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: EP album like damn, because you are working on it
• 1:45
  Speaker 5: for so long.
• 1:46
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and when.
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: You release it, it's out of your control. And we
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: were saying before even during the process. For me especially,
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: I like kind of just blackout, like because it's so
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: stressful for me. And I don't find writing like easy.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: I enjoyed it in high school and I was really
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: good in my English classes. But I guess, especially you know,
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: in the last decade of being like a music presenter
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: and like you know, communicating a verbal sense, I find
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: putting my thoughts and I guess the ADHD thing too,
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: but like putting it from pen to paper is really difficult,
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: and especially when it is a super personal body of work,
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: there's like that kind of emotional exhaustion too, So I'm
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: really glad that it's out, yeah, and probably won't write
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: for a long time, but happy to talk about it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: And I think as much as it can be really daunting,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: especially with a book like this that is quite vulnerable,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: you're going to be helping so many people with it,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: and I think so many people can relate to it,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: which I'm excited to get into it and ask you
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: some more questions about it. But before we do, we
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: love to start with our life lesson of the week,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: So would you like to kick us off?
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Sure?
• 2:57
  Speaker 6: This is one.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: It's an interesting one, and I I wish I was
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: better at it early on, but it's just I think
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: I was on my emails a couple of days ago
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: and I've just been thinking about it ever since, and
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: I've been, I guess, trying to be really aware of it.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: And the life lesson would be to how will I
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: put it? I guess kind of own own your voice
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: and own your presence. So for me, this is in
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: the context of emails and being a freelancer, right, And
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: you guys would know too, when you following things up
• 3:28
  Speaker 5: and you know you're chasing things like I am very
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: much a chaser with work. There's things that will come
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: to me. But if there's something that I want to do,
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: I will.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: I love hitting up people and being annoying.
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, she's an ares.
• 3:42
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's proactive.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: In saying that, I do have a bit of insecurity
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: with it, I guess an imposter syndrome. But I think
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: that's a natural tendency for women, especially, you know, kind
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: of owning that presence, and we tend to minimize our
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: requests and you know, make ourselves smaller because that's how
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: we've always been kind of treated essentially. So I've just
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: been aware of, especially in my emails of you know,
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: it will always be like just checking in, just wondering
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: and so sorry to be, you know, a pest.
• 4:18
  Speaker 7: But or does that make sense? All good if not?
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: You know, And I think for me, I really just
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: need to be a bit more assertive.
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: So I'm trying to embrace that a bit more.
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: And I haven't really yeah, thought about it as much
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: as I have now been a freelancer. But yeah, I
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: guess a few days ago, so within the week I
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: was on my emails and I've been just like shooting
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: out a bunch of ships. There's just so much that
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: I want to get going, get the ball rolling for
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: in twenty twenty five, because I was saying to you
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: before off air, like it's been a bit of a
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: slower start for me kind of getting into the rhythm
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: of work and especially being in wa where it's a
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: little bit more isolated in a creative sense. Yeah, I'm
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: just like out here chasing a bunch of shit. But
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, I just really got to be
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: a bit more like, you know, have a bit more
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: ownership over my voice and that kind of presence and
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: you know if I mean, I'm allowed to have that.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: So yeah, but if you don't chase, you don't catch exactly.
• 5:19
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, no one's going to do it for you either.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I love don't ask, don't get moment, like when you're
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: sitting there being like should I do this? Well, you're
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: not going to get it if you don't, and by
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: like and sometimes it's not even an ask it to
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: tell like it's been like cool, like let me know
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: by the end of the day, that'd be great, thank you.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: By yeah, being like.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Could you like get back to me whenever you can.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: That's about now, right, now.
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and yeah, I think people think, you know, in
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: this kind of field that we find ourselves in professionally,
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: that you know, we get to do amazing things and
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: they just happen, but we actually chase so much of it.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: You know, there's so much behind the scenes where we
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: are actually putting ourselves out there, putting our hands up
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: and getting up in people's faces because we want to
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: make things happen. So yeah, I feel really uncomfortable with
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: sitting back and expecting.
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: Things to come to me.
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: I'm always very grateful when they do, but I can't
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: rely on that, and I feel like there's people who
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: will you know, there's people that will go out there
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: and do the things, and then there's other people who
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: will sit back and watch them do the things, and
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: then they get annoyed and it's.
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: Like, well, what do you expect? Yeah, you go do
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: the thing. Yeah, and you get the thing and.
• 6:28
  Speaker 7: You get the thing. Yeah, go do the thing.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Girl.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: My life lesson of the week is to go visit
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: your grandparents obviously if you can, if you live in
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the same place, if they're still around, being mag bong,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: if you still have a relationship. But I haven't visited
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: my nonna in so long. And on Valentine's Day, I
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: got a bit drunk and I messaged her and I.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: Was like, how a Valentine? Say yeah?
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: And she was like and she always saends like you
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: know how like our grandparents' text. It's like the most
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: eloquent response.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: And she's like, hello Alexandra, live of my life.
• 7:02
  Speaker 7: Wishing you the best, beautiful Manada. And I was like
• 7:05
  Speaker 7: to rub I was like, we should go see my nona.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And he was like, all right, let's go. But she
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: lives on her own now. And I was like, don't worry,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: we'll come. We'll make lunch.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: We literally packed the pasta maker. We're going to go
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: make her like homemade pasted out. We get there, she's
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: put on a whole fucking roast. She was like I
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: just made a little something.
• 7:25
  Speaker 7: And I was like, what what do you mean? And
• 7:26
  Speaker 7: then she's made this whole roast.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: And I was like, so why did I bring it?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: It's just like just just a little bit.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, and then
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well, let me know when you want
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: to go to your Ernie Rauders and uncle ladies. And
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, what and so she's then wrangled me
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: into driving to her brothers, which was amazing and like
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: they're just the best and we're spending the whole day
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: with them. And then my nanna's brother pulls out a
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: DVD and he's.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Like, have you seen this?
• 7:53
  Speaker 7: And it's mom and Dad's wedding video and I haven't
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: never ever seen it.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And so we sat around having like tea and coffee.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: This was also when I learnt that Italian, their Italian
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: version of coffee just has baileies in it.
• 8:09
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, milk. Yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And they were yelling at me because I was having
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: water and they're like, but that's going to rust your
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: insides and I was like.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: I have to drive.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: And we watched my mom and dad's wedding video so
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: c it was just so I was crying.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so beautiful and beautiful.
• 8:27
  Speaker 7: And like, oh my god, I took photos.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I want to say it.
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: Cantully if you haven't seen it.
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: I hadn't seen it, and they kept being like, what
• 8:33
  Speaker 7: do you mean you haven't seen it?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And I was like they haven't tried me, wow, And yeah,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: it was just the cutest thing ever.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: So yeah, it was a good little day.
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: I love that.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: It's so cute because, yeah, all my other grandparents have
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: passed away. So when we were watching a video, they
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: were in the video, so like.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: My nan and my pop my no no.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: I was just you need to have like a wine
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: night with your mom and watch it.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, I know tea And I'm like, okay,
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: so was pissing you off?
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Where are Well?
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: That's always the bts behind a wedding, exactly every time.
• 9:08
  Speaker 7: Okay, what's yours?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: My life lesson?
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: I'll keep it short and sweet because it's not that deep.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: But did you know that if ninety nine percent of
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: the human population thought you were ugly, still around eighty
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: million people would think you were hot?
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that's good.
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: So even on your ugliest little day, which we all
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: have those days when we're not feeling like the hotties
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: that we truly are, eighty eighty million people, eighty million
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: people would say.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Smash wow, that's like that stat that's like people say,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: it was twenty percent hotter than you think you are.
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, oh that makes me feel good.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so even on your ugliest day, you're still twenty
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: percent hotter than you think you are.
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: And then when you.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Are feeling yourself and you're like, yeah, I'm hitting it today.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: You're it's a home fucking run.
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: That's like unstoppable.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah that's good. Yeah, I feel good for the eight
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: million people.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Good time the episode. Yeah, let's do it, okay, Bridget.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Can we talk about the expectations that come we're turning thirty?
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: Oh boy, where do we start? I mean, well, did
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: you feel them?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 10:27
  Speaker 7: I did a little bit.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say for me, I think it's a
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: little bit different because I don't necessarily know if I
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: ever want to have children or get married, so I
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: think those are two of the big pressures. But I
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: did feel like my worth as a woman in society
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: was being questioned. I just felt like, even after I
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: turned twenty five, the way that especially men who I knew,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: spoke to me or just spoke about different things around
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: me was significantly different after I turned twenty five, because
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I did feel like people like say that people see
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: women who are over thirty as.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: Lesser than Yeah, I'm really fascinated by especially growing up
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: when we would have been exposed to it, but we
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: weren't probably thinking about it in a deep sense until
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: we were twenty nine, approaching thirty with how it's been
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: captured through pop culture, you know, how we grow up,
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: and we were watching Bridget Jones and that's just recently
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: come out, the new one. I've only just recently in
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: the last like twelve odd months. Don't judge me got
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: into Friends better late than ever. But you know, the
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: episode with Rachel crying about turning thirty, like it was
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: just the most horrific thing.
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: I remember very vividly.
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: Being eighteen and Lily Allen singing, you know she's nearly
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: thirty now and she's out every night, sad, but it's
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: true how.
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: Society says her life is already over.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Like those things I remember, you know, being so aware
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: of growing up, but then I guess kind of forgetting
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: about them until I was not only twenty nine, but
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: I guess weeks before turning thirty when the big breakup happened,
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: because for me and I think coming from a regional
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: kind of upbringing where and not that there's anything wrong
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: with it, and also even our parents the previous generations,
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: like with the more traditional markers, those milestones of buying
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: a house, settling down, and having kids. When my mum
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: was my age now thirty three, she had four kids
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: under the age of four. I could not think of
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: doing that at all at this age, and that's what
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: her reality was. So I think those kind of traditional expectations,
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: although they do feel less applicable to our lives now
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: because you know, cost of living, ill, we're working all yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: so gross, you know, women are working more, but yeah,
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: we those I think were the main kind of expectations.
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: And you know, on my podcast, I love asking people
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: like expectation versus reality, and I feel like I had
• 12:58
  Speaker 5: these expectations in place, and then when this breakup happened,
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: I was like, you know, a bit of a mess
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: because I was like, this is not how I thought
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: turning thirty would be for me. But it didn't take
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: too long to kind of unpack that and be like, oh,
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: that's what I thought I should have wanted, because that's
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: what most people around me have done. So I just
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: thought that's what I was meant to do. But is
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: it actually what I want to do?
• 13:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: And men versus want Yeah?
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: And I think that because you did have quite a
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: few of those things ticked off, you know, like you
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: have a very successful career, you were in a long
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: term relationship, you had some amazing milestones coming up. But
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I know that in that episode when we spoke about
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: the breakup, you did say that you weren't necessarily happy
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: in that relationship and that point in your life.
• 13:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so maybe.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: That helped with that realization too, because it's like, oh, well,
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I had ticked all of these things that I should
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: have done by the time I was turning thirty, but
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: I wasn't necessarily the happiest version of myself.
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And it just seems to be that age where like,
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: I just can't think of an age previously. And I'm
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: sure there will be more reflections moving forward, but thirty
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: does feel like that first kind of pit stop where
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: you're like, let's have a look at everything that's happened
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: that's led me to this moment and what I want
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: moving forward, and how does it actually match up with
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: what I thought that I wanted. And I think there's
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: an element even if it doesn't align with what you
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: want now and you are, you know, very comfortable and
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: content with what you want, I think there's still like
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: an element of grief about it too, because you always
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: kind of you know, I hate to think what if?
• 14:36
  Speaker 6: But I think we always do. We always have that.
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: Natural curiosity and intrigue about the many ways in which
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: our life could be looking. But yeah, I guess it
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: just takes a little bit of time. And it took
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: a bit of time for me, I guess to get
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: really comfortable with where I was at and to see
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: that as a new decade as like you know, starting fresh,
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: you know, blank canvas, we can have a reset, and
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: I I don't you know, I look back on that
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: time very fondly because it was just like really big
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: for the personal development.
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: But it's hard.
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: And I think even if you do have a successful career,
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: we are because we're told that we can have it all,
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: so you know, naturally you do want to have it all,
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: but then you kind of quickly realize that it's really
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: hard to balance things. You know, I want to have
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: a thriving career, but you know a lot of systemic
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: things kind of prevent me from having to have that
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: and then being able to maybe be the mum that
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: I want to be, you know, like women are in
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: the workplace, but we forgot to do anything to help
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: with when you return to that kind of more domestic sphere,
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: right like nothing's changed there where you know, dads are
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: getting more support with if they want to be a
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: stay at home dad, like we have seen some you
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: know that can be amazing stay home dads, But the
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: expectations still remain that women can go work, but they
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: still have to come back.
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: And you know, do all that labor, h.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: Domestic and emotional labor too.
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a quote in the book that I really love,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: and you say, I can confidently and genuinely say that
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I've let go of what I believed my life should
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: be looking like right now. And I wanted to ask,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: why do we see thirty as the deadline?
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's still I mean, I feel like I don't
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: have like a concrete answer for it. But again, I
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: think it's just that first age for me, at least,
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: when you know you're turning like sixteen, eighteen twenty one,
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: that's always really embraced as an exciting milestone because we
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: get more freedoms and you know that in a sense,
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: it's like those are the really peak fun bits of
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: being an adult. But for some reason, yeah, thirty we
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: kind of see as yeah, that's when shit has to
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: be serious. And again pointing to like our parents, who
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: were a lot more settled at that age than I
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: guess what a lot of us are feeling at the moment,
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: you know. And I obviously have a lot of friends
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: who do have like kids and houses and all of
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: that at this age, who are happy with that. But
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: there's never kind of been that dialogue where it's like
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: what if you don't have that, and what if you
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: don't want that? And feeling like it's okay to not
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: want that kind of stuff too. Yeah, And I think again,
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: with like that external commentary and language surrounding just generally
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: women aging and being less desirable.
• 17:30
  Speaker 8: You really don't see this narrative with men, dude, No,
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: And I mean even when we like, I've been thinking
• 17:34
  Speaker 8: a lot about like the beauty standards, and I really
• 17:38
  Speaker 8: loved writing like the chapter on body image, because.
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I was even like it's funny, like I've had like.
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: Recent skincare like issues and it's been so annoying to navigate.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: And I was thinking about like all the products that
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: we use and all the things that we are sold,
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: and men aren't like, you know, sold any of that.
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: And I love that stuff.
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: But like when you kind of get to the core
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: of it and how things are marketed to us, and
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: it's always to attain this certain image and essentially to
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: be more youthful and desirable, like guys just do not
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: have that kind of pressure.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: We spoke about this in an episode where sal shared
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: her thirty life lessons she learned by thirty, and there
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: was this conversation that we had in it that was
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: kind of like, you're damned if you do, You're damned
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: if you don't. You're damned if you like don't care
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: and you don't look youthful and then you've aged poorly
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: in quotes like that is not me saying that that's
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: the scenario. But then if you spend heaps of money
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: and maybe you get botox or you spend lots of
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: money on the way that you look, then you're vain
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: and you care too much. And some in it's like
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: this damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, and.
• 18:48
  Speaker 7: It's so wild.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: But we had a really popular question come through and
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: it kind of aligns with what you were saying before
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: as well, and it's how to be okay with being
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: on different paths to your friends. Two of the main
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: ones that we saw come through was being the single
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: friend and also not wanting kids.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's I mean those two a huge I remember
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: during my single era, I like, I quickly found there
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: was you know, a lot of conversations that would quickly
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: go to me and it was like a source of
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: entertainment for some you know, we have.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: A friend who said the same thing.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, or they'd be like, you know, you'll be fine,
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: like you'll find someone, and it's like, well, I'm pretty
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: content and comfortable with just having this moment to myself
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: and for however long it needs to be. And even
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: with the kids stuff, I think that also extends to
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: that kind of dialogue. And for me on that level,
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: I'd still like, I think I want a kid one day,
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: but I'm not fucking ready now. Yeah, but they're still
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I think we just what would make
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: it easier, I guess is having more of the conversations,
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: but just somehow being able to normalize it a bit more,
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: because I guess we haven't really been given that kind
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: of frame of reference as to how we can talk
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: about these things, especially when now more and more people
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: are opting out of having kids and more and more
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: people are so content with being single, and I have
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: realized I don't actually need a partner, you know, to
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: be happy, Like that doesn't need to be my sole
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: source of fulfillment. So and I think it also stems
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: back to coming back to your self of value and
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: really making sure that you were comfortable with wherever you
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: are at that moment, and like again owning your choices too.
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: But we've been brought up to think that those are
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: you know, the things that we need.
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: To tick off.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: Like yeah, well you guys, I mean you wrote a
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: whole fucking book about this, like and like when friends
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: are on different levels, like what was not to be
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: the interviewer now, but like your biggest takeaway from when
• 21:00
  Speaker 5: you were kind of you know, navigating that.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I think the thing was that was one of the
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: biggest lessons from you know, the people we interviewed and
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: discussed it with this and our own experiences, was especially
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: with being a single friend, like because you go to
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: things and a lot of people are couples, but remembering
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: that you're single because you didn't want something, like something
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: didn't work for you, something wasn't right for you.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: And even though it's very very easy, like the comparison
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: trap is called a trap for a reason.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: It's easy to fall into that you have to remember
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: what it is that you wanted, and that there's not
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: a paintbrush that paints every single storyline the same way.
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: And it's just the way that my brain works.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: And it's not to say that anyone's life is boring,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: but like, I love.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Thinking about how individual lives are.
• 21:45
  Speaker 7: Like I love that.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Feeling of when you see all the lights turn on
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: at like six pm, non dolit saving the time, and
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: like how everyone's life is so so so different and
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: how I want mine to be so individual.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: To me, So why would I want my life to
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: look like anyone else's.
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I also think when it comes to celebrating
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: each other's wins as well, we really need to broaden what.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: The win wins are.
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And like I have a great example that made
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: me feel really good. So Oscar plays footy for Fremantle
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: and we have a player's partners groups. It's just a little
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: WhatsApp chat group for all the players partners sorry, which
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: is yeah, it's really nice. And often in those you know,
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: group chats outside of the admin for the matches and
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: all that kind of stuff, you know, the post will
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: be in there if you know one of the partners
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: has a baby or as engaged, and a few of
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: them are, which is, you know, great, And I was
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: really surprised to like open the chat one day following
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: the release of my book and one of the ladies
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: who works at the club like made a really nice
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: message being like a huge congrats to Bridget for releasing
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: her new book. We're also proud of you and we
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: know how hard you've worked and you have only known
• 22:58
  Speaker 5: these people for just over a year, And I was
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: I didn't expect that to be in the group chat,
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: and that's not to you know, undermine or underestimate them,
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: but I was like, that's so nice, and to have
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: that kind of achievement recognized in the same context as
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: you know, other partners getting engaged and having babies, that
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: just really showed me that, Yeah, like I wish I
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: guess more people got to experience that, but it's like
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: really not that it's not hard, but it just was
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: awesome for me to be like, that's so cool and
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: people messaging being like congrats Bridget, like that's awesome, and
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: they're all getting around me, and yeah, it was nice
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: to feel that you know, you can still be celebrated
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: for the things because that is a you know, and
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: you guys are the same. To release a book like
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: that is a huge achievement for us and the only
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: you know, it shouldn't be kids owning a house or
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: getting married or engaged to be the only things that.
• 23:54
  Speaker 6: Are worthy of celebrations.
• 23:56
  Speaker 8: You know.
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: So again, yeah, broadening our idea of what winds are
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: and we're just making the effort to be aware of
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: what winds are for people because they are different.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: For it.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Also knowing what your wins are for yourself, like writing
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: those out and understanding what you find as a win
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and making sure that it can look different, and like
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: giving yourself permission to celebrate those things.
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: You know what I love. I love when women have
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: divorce parties. Oh yeah.
• 24:22
  Speaker 6: Them first up.
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: And I think you need to be careful of, you know,
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: being like toxic positivity on it too. But I guess
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: from my experience, I just I just see it as
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: an opportunity and like without being cringe, like break up, breakthrough,
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: you know, like it is just such an important time
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: and you have so much that you can actually gain
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: from it. And I do wish more women were able
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: to see that, but again completely understand.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Hindsight nine and it comes like at least six months
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: later and you're like, holy shit, Yeah, but you'll like
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: be in a situation but this didn't have This wouldn't
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: have happened unless that happened. Yeah, and you're like, ah, vibes, slate,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: let's get into work.
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: This was another popular question that we had coming through
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: and something that you speak about in the book and
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: have spoken about quite a bit. So you also had
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: a huge career change around the time.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: Of your thirtieth birthday as well.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Can you talk us through that and give some advice
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: for people who are thinking of making a career switch
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: in their thirties because it can be really intimidating.
• 25:32
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean starting my thirties freshly dumped was big enough.
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: But then when I turned thirty one, I was like,
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: let's you know, fuck things around a little bit more
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: and quit my job that I've worked really hard.
• 25:47
  Speaker 6: On and you know, making that grind.
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: I think it was like six years of unpaid work
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: to get up to that point to have a full
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: time you know, a national radio show and a job
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: that I deeply loved, the program that I was hosting
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: Good Nights. I you know, still love it. I mean,
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: like they've asked it now. When I found out that
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: they when they acted it, I cried and I was like,
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: this is really heartbreaking for me because I just I,
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: you know, the legacy of that program beyond my five
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: years hosting like Linda Mariano, who I icon't yeah icon',
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: and just you know, being someone who listened to that
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: program as a music fan and a listener before Triple
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: J and then being able to host it. But yeah,
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: I just was you know at that point where I,
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: as much as I loved that program, the developments for
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: me at the station was it just wasn't happening. And
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: I really saw, you know, I felt it's funny, I
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: felt like externally.
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: Valued.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: Not to say that I felt completely not valued there,
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: but I felt very over looked as a music presenter,
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: and I resented the programming hierarchy and you know, Brecky
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: and Drive getting all the interviews just because they have
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: those slots. It was never about who was who would
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: be the best presenter to interview that person. I think
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: it has changed now since I left, and I'm not
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: taking you know, credit for that, but I did like
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: request like an exit interview when I quit, because I
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: had so much feedback that I wanted to tell management
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: because I already knew some other presenters who were, you know,
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: a little bit fresher than me, already was starting to
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: feel that and feeling a little bit defeated, and I
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: just wanted things to change for them, because I, you know,
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: I love seeing people who were so passionate about music,
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: and I mean everyone who works there loves music. But anyway,
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: I just felt like I couldn't see where I was
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: going next. I did, you know, want to actually get
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: into programming at some point, but that kind of yeah
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: was not embraced, I suppose. And so I had a
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: contract negotiation and unfortunately it was shit, and it was
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: just like a tipping point for me, and I was like, uh,
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: I never thought that that would be. I actually thought
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: I'd stay on for one more year, but and I
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: was going to nothing as well. I think it's, yeah,
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: it's a very unique situation when you leave your job
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: for nothing.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's that unique though in terms of like, yes,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: it's a very very big daunting thing. But I think
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: it's something that we're seeing and we get messages so
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: much now, because that's part of what is really scary
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: for people is it's they're in this job, they're in
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: this career, and whether it's the industry that they're in
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: or whether it's that specific role within that company that
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: they just don't.
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: Want to do it anymore.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: But they've invested all of this time, and it's like,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: but I don't, like, I just want to get out,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: and like they've kind of made that decision, but they
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: don't know one what they want to do next, or
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: they don't have anything lined up, So like, how do
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: you find the confidence to just say.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: Like no more? Yeah?
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: Again, it's different for everyone and dependent on your field.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: But I guess what what I love about that is
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: people are obviously valuing their happiness and fulfillment more than
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: ever in a career context, and you can really link
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: it back to relationships, and like not settling with that
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: obviously comes a lot of privilege. There are people who
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: just simply have to stay in these jobs that they
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: hate to survive. So I had a lot of privilege
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: and that I knew that I could make it work,
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: but I hadn't really spent It's not like I planned
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: it you know, it was actually really an impulsive thing.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: I didn't expect to quit, but I was so fucked
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: off that I was like nah. And then I remember
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: telling my mom and she was like, do what makes
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: you happy? I spoke to Oscar, and being the legit
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: stickle king that he is, was like, you know, obviously
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: support you, but just maybe just like book in with
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: your accountant first and just you know, make sure you
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: know clever not you know, a completely silly thing to do. Unfortunately,
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: my accountant was like, yeah, I thought you'd be doing
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: this six months ago, like, you know, thankfully for me
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: and in you know, the field that like I'm in,
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: I guess, and I already had how to end.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: And I kind of made that effort to have an
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: identity outside of Triple J. And I think, you know,
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: for any kind of job that's really important, it's hard
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: because we do spend so much time working, especially if
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: we do love it, you know, and we're proud of it.
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: I was very proud to work there, but I also
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: knew there would be limitations post Triple J. And I
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: was kind of just getting to that stage there, and
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: I guess that age where I wanted to start thinking
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: about the next steps. But again, probably would have loved
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: a little bit more time to kind of think it out.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I just you know, went out into freelancing
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: and just I guess made it work because I had
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: no choice but to make it work. And that's why
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: I have to be a real chaser with us, you know,
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: yeah pay Rent. Yeah, yeah, it is like a survival
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: thing too, Yeah, very much so. But I totally empathize
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: with all the things that people kind of grapple with
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: because when you do spend so much time getting to
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: that point, whether it's you know, doing a four year
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: Uni degree, being like thousands of dollars in hex step
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: or for me, you know, doing that six odd year grind.
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: I mean, I've been music presenting a music presenter for
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: over a decade now, but you do tend to look
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: back at everything that you've invested into that and you
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: don't want to feel like you've wasted time or regretted it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: And I don't, you know, like because it's opened so
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: many other doors.
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: But it's scary.
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: But I just want people to know that it's never
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: too late, you know, it's never too late to switch
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: lanes to try something New I met a girl recently
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: who's the partner of a friend who used to work
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: at Triple J Actually, and she was a journalist and
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: you know she did that big grind, but now she's
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: studying to be a primary school teacher.
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: She was like, you know what, I you know, this
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: has been the dream job in many aspects, but I
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: am exhausted and I think that I could really add
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: value in that field. So she's moved from Sydney to
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: Perth and she's back at UNI and she's so excited
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: and she's gonna be.
• 32:32
  Speaker 6: A great teacher. But you know, it's never too late
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: to do that stuff.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: In your book, you actually share a list of famous
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: people who started their careers after turning thirty.
• 32:42
  Speaker 7: Can you share that with us.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: You're a bit of inspiration for the jigs.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: Let's go through the list. Let me pull her up.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: There is quite a few examples and they're wonderful. So
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: famous women who made their career after thirty. Oprah Winfrey
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: launched the Oprah Winfrey Show at age thirty two. Wow,
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: I launched it last year, Crazy Kristin Wig. We've just
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: had the SNL fifty celebrations, which means so fun. I
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: love Saturday Night Live. She debuted on the show at
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: thirty six. No way, yep, pretty cool. Debbie Harry Ak
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: Blondie I'm sure you love my girl launched that project
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: at thirty.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: One and a style ikon Music Park on to this day.
• 33:25
  Speaker 5: The rest is history. I love this about in the
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: world of fashion Vera Wang. Okay, so before that she
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: was a fashion designer, she was an ice skater and
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: a journalist. But she designed her first dress at the
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: age of forty. That is incredible, amazing, so cool and
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: Vivian Westwood. So she quit teaching at thirty to pursue
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: fashion design so went and studied that Jane Austin. I
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: didn't actually know this so first novel, Sense and Sensibility.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: Guess how old she was when it came out?
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: Thirty eight, thirty six close?
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but I think that I thought she would
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: have been like twenty twenty one, really young.
• 34:09
  Speaker 6: I don't know why, but I just was really surprised
• 34:11
  Speaker 6: to hear.
• 34:11
  Speaker 7: So imagine that being her debut. She's kine hot, hit
• 34:16
  Speaker 7: it out of the past.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, there's definitely this notion, especially with social
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: media and TikTok stars and not to take away from them,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: but we see a lot of young celebrities now that
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: I think when we're older and we're like, oh, fuck,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: like I didn't do that, I should have done this,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I should have done that, and set myself up for
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: all these things that when you see a list like that,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: you're like, it really does kind of like wipe the
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: slate clean in your brain, being like, yeah, I can.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, change and I love there's two more recent examples
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: that I really love and beyond the fact that they're
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: both in the music world. But Amy Shark she released
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: a Door, which is you know, her breakthrough single was
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: absolutely massive. She was thirty when that came and it
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: was dubbed her breakthrough. She was actually you know, the
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: commentary around her was like overnight success, but she was
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: grinding for like ten years before that.
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: You know, about the year.
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: Before that song came out, she emailed dom Alessio, who
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: used to host Home and host on Triple J, and
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: she was like, what am I doing wrong? You know,
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: like none of my songs are getting airplay? And then
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: Odoor was the next single and it just you know,
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: skyrocketed her. Yeah, Charlie XCX, I think is a great example.
• 35:29
  Speaker 7: Finally getting her flowers.
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she's thirty two, and you know, she's we've known
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: her for a while, like she's been on you know,
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: some main she's kind of flirted in the mainstream.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: I love it Boom boom clap fancy with Iggy's eliaineteen.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: Ninety nine and like all the Collapse with Troy.
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but Brat is her most commercially successful record. It's
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: the record that's won her her first Grammys, and now
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: she's headlining festivals and she's thirty two.
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: You know, I just looked it up then.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: And Rebecca Yaros, who wrote Fourth Wing, which is like
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: the best selling fantasy series of the year. If not,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: I would put it up there with books this year
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: is forty three wow.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: And that came out in twenty twenty three.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Wo.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: So yeah, women can have so much success. Yeah, after
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: the age of thirty forty fifty.
• 36:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Like I love that.
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: I want to kick a door off its hinges.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, your life doesn't end at thirty.
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: It's really only just Siously.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: There's also this quote and it was like, why do
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: you think adulthood and fun ends at thirty?
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: When that was your first decade of being an adult.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and when money only had you only you've only
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: had one decade of being an adult and you're done.
• 36:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't know.
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: And how how because you still have so much to
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: experience travel or you know, gain those new skills of
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: being exposed to a particular field, Like I just don't. Yeah,
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: it's crazy that we've like we've just had to, you know,
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: have it sorted and locked in by by thirty all
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: that you.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Don't have time to experience other things.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Because a very common thing we got sent in was
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: feeling like I wasted my twenties. We would you say
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: to someone that felt like they wasted their twenties by
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: not doing enough?
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: I mean, look, I don't want to say no regrets.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: I just think everything's a lesson though, Like I would
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: never look back on my twenties and think I should
• 37:30
  Speaker 5: have done more. I think, and I also am able
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: to kind of give myself I guess that compassion and
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: be like, well that's how I was feeling at the time.
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: I can't change that. And yeah, I've never kind of
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: looked back on my twenties and felt like I should
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: have done something differently, or that I wasted time. I
• 37:48
  Speaker 5: think everything always will lead you. Everything's led you to
• 37:52
  Speaker 5: where you are now, and we're in pretty good positions.
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: I agree.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I also think if you felt like you should have
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: done things in your twenties that you haven't done yet,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: maybe your twenties was about building the confidence and the
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: life experience to approach those things that you want to do.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: But I want to ask you.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: A quick fire round of dating and your thirties. I
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: know we've touched on it a little bit, yep, Okay,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on age gaps and dating younger
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: in your thirties?
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: So fine, Oscar's five years younger? I think it.
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, is really just a number, and I think there's
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: a lot to be gained in terms of what you
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: can learn from them as well.
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: So I'm so here for it.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 38:34
  Speaker 7: Okay, super popular question.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: What are your top three tips on being single in
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: your thirties?
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Okay, Well, the first one that comes to mind was
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: one that I felt quite deeply was don't feel pressured
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: to When we say be single, we do tend to
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: visualize that we're going out all the time, that we're
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: building our roster and we Samantha Jones, Yeah, and honestly,
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: I love her, And if you want to do that, fine,
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: But also some people don't want to or feel comfortable.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: And I thought that I would be going on a
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: fucking spray when I was single, but then I just
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: realized I don't feel ready or comfortable, and that's okay. Like,
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: just because you were single doesn't mean you have to
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: go and do those things. You know, and even if
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: you want to go out and have fun and you
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: do want to find someone but you don't, like, don't
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: beat yourself up about it.
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: There is no one.
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: Textbook way to be single, just like there's no one
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: textbook way to be in a relationship, and you just
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: have to really tap into you know, your instinct and
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: how you're feeling, and it may not be feeling the
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: way that you thought you'd be feeling. Like like I said,
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: I thought that I would be going out doing all
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: those things, but then I was like, nah, I just
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: don't want to.
• 39:46
  Speaker 6: But I think people expected that of me. But I
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: was fine.
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: I was on the apps, but I kind of treated
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: a lot of the conversations just as little steps for
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: personal development because I just felt like I had to
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: unpack a lot of shit. So don't feel pressured to
• 39:59
  Speaker 5: like go back someone.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: Clip, I want to bang away, you know, Okay, And
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: you interviewed a neuropsychologist, doctor Hannah Coral, who likens friendships
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: to a solar system. Can you give us a quick
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: run through about what this means and how it can
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: affect friendships as an adult.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: I love when she said it because it's so easy
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: to visualize, right, these cute little planets just in a orbit,
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: And essentially it is just acknowledging that sometimes you may
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: not be in orbit with another friend and that's not
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: always a bad thing. I think, Look, it's each situation
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: is different. But I found that I had a lot
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: of peace kind of when she when she said that
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: just knowing that although you may not be in orbit
• 40:47
  Speaker 5: doesn't mean you have to be like angry at each
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: other or but you don't have to have you know,
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: it's not it doesn't have to be a bad thing, right,
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: so you can be happy for them if they're you know,
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: doing their own thing and you're doing your own thing,
• 41:01
  Speaker 5: and you might come back in orbit at another point
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: in life. But yeah, I just think that was a
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: really nice way of kind of framing it.
• 41:10
  Speaker 6: Can you like see it? Yes, yeah, and it makes sense.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: It's why you know, I think in the book we
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: called it track changes, and it's when you, you know, have.
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: Your high school friends, you're in orbit.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Then you get a job and you're working full time
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: with people, and then you kind of spend a little
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: bit more time with them, and then that's your orbital.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe you move to a different country and like maybe
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: it's a bit of a slower orbit, like with some
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: friends that you talk maybe once a month on the phone.
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: But I like it because I can visualize it too. Yeah,
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: and I.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: Do think like it's always relevant, I think, no matter
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: what stage of your life you're in, but.
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: Especially in your thirties.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, as more people are getting married, having children,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: perhaps progressing in their career, moving away, these separate orbits
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: are happening more and more, I feel, and it's becoming
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: secure within that in yourself. Yes, knowing that friendships do
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: ebb and flow and that they will exist in different orbits,
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: but that doesn't discount what they meant to you or
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: what they will mean to you going forward. We have
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: to finish off with our final question, what's your biggest
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: life lesson in your thirties so far.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: Oh man, I think it is, you know, and it's
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: probably in relation to that as well, and what you
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: said al about that kind of secure place of understanding,
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: just understanding that we are all navigating shit and we
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: definitely just need to go a little bit easy on
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: ourselves and yeah, within our relationships too, because we are
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: all really just trying to figure it out. And so
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: that's probably been the best thing is to make peace
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: with that. And I think as well one of the
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: biggest life lessons was just taking time to figure out
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: my values and actually what I, you know, value moving
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: forward and what that looks like in feeling a bit
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: more fulfilled and content. And I did that session with
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: my psychologist. She spread out like eighty fucking cards on
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: the floor.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: It was really fun. It was like a game, but
• 43:07
  Speaker 6: then it got really hard.
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: So we kind of put values in different sections like important,
• 43:13
  Speaker 5: not important, important, really important, and the only two that
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: I could remember in the really important, which was out
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: of ten, I think from the eighty four, the two
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: that I will always remember is just fun and inner piece,
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: and those just the two things that I want to
• 43:27
  Speaker 5: keep front of mind with like everything that I do,
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: and sometimes I won't.
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: Be good at it, but I think.
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: It's just north Star.
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, just you know, coming to know that, And yeah,
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: I think that's been a really nice lesson and realization
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: in my thirties.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: I loved that was never too late.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show again.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: Bridget has been an absolute pleasure. But for the chickies
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: who don't already know, where can I find you?
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: I'm on Instagram at bridgeth pus to eight and yeah,
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: I'm just kind of working there.
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and go by Bridget the book and the book
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: that you guys kindly endorsed. Thank you for reading it early.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Of course, of course I was.
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: Honestly, I was like vip accent.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on, And
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: thank you to m ik Made for making today's episode happen,
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: and to your chicks for having us in ear holes.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: We love to be here. Kisses, bye chick, Bye.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Hi