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Transcript
- 0:07Speaker 1: You do not need to apply a scientific method to
- 0:11Speaker 1: know that having friends is extremely beneficial. Besides the developmental benefits,
- 0:16Speaker 1: having friends opens the pathway for emotional support, from making
- 0:20Speaker 1: each other laugh to consoling each other through hard times.
- 0:23Speaker 1: Emotional exchange is the foundation of a good friendship. However,
- 0:28Speaker 1: there are some friendships where one person gives while the
- 0:31Speaker 1: other person takes. Not surprisingly, bad friendships are quite common.
- 0:36Speaker 1: A simple Google search using the term bad friends quickly
- 0:40Speaker 1: generates to 324 million results. From published articles to sporty t-shirts,
- 0:46Speaker 1: the acknowledgement and commonality of bad friendships is obvious. While
- 0:51Speaker 1: not condoning different kinds of friendships, here are some ways
- 0:54Speaker 1: to recognize if you are in a toxic relationship, either
- 0:58Speaker 1: the taker or giver and how to change it. While
- 1:01Speaker 1: searching the web, the three of the most common types
- 1:03Speaker 1: of bad friends are the unaware. Sometimes people say or
- 1:08Speaker 1: do things without thinking. Other times, people treat others badly
- 1:11Speaker 1: because they grew up in a household that taught them
- 1:14Speaker 1: misinformed ways. As a result, some people are unaware that
- 1:18Speaker 1: they are bad friends, simply because they don't know any better.
- 1:21Speaker 1: These people have an opinion about every part of your life,
- 1:25Speaker 1: from whom you should date to what college courses you
- 1:27Speaker 1: should take. The unaware believes that they are being a
- 1:30Speaker 1: good friend because they have taken the time to analyze
- 1:33Speaker 1: your life for you. The unaware will cross boundaries very often,
- 1:38Speaker 1: even after you reinforce that you do not want them
- 1:40Speaker 1: to cross certain boundaries. Unfortunately, the unaware has a strong
- 1:45Speaker 1: compulsion to inject themselves into every part of your life,
- 1:48Speaker 1: believing that they have a better perspective of your life
- 1:52Speaker 1: than you do. The users. The user has a strong
- 1:56Speaker 1: tendency to gravitate toward people who are more than often
- 2:00Speaker 1: willing to help them. In fact, most of the time,
- 2:03Speaker 1: users will dominate conversations or will only contact you when
- 2:07Speaker 1: it's convenient. The user has very little boundaries and is
- 2:10Speaker 1: very in tune to certain people who, one, love to help,
- 2:14Speaker 1: or two, have a hard time saying no. As a result,
- 2:18Speaker 1: the user exploits their friend's loyalty and desire to be needed.
- 2:22Speaker 1: The Fakers Fakers are the most toxic friends you can have,
- 2:26Speaker 1: simply because the entire friendship is reliant on their personal gain.
- 2:31Speaker 1: Fakers have a tendency of having an overly inflated ego
- 2:35Speaker 1: with a fragile sense of self. As such, fakers garner
- 2:39Speaker 1: friendships with people who they deem less than themselves. For example,
- 2:43Speaker 1: a faker will befriend someone who they deem to be
- 2:45Speaker 1: less attractive than them to draw more attention from others.
- 2:49Speaker 1: Fakers have no boundaries and will become defensive if you
- 2:52Speaker 1: call them out on their malicious behavior. In the end,
- 2:56Speaker 1: befriending a faker is toxic and can result in negative
- 2:59Speaker 1: emotional turmoil. Of the three types of bad friends mentioned,
- 3:03Speaker 1: the unaware are the only people that you may want
- 3:06Speaker 1: to consider keeping as friends. The users and fakers, however,
- 3:10Speaker 1: are emotionally toxic relationships that need to be severed. Severing
- 3:14Speaker 1: a friendship can sometimes be arduous, and similar to a breakup,
- 3:18Speaker 1: severing a friendship requires one to be direct. If at
- 3:21Speaker 1: all possible, try to meet face-to-face in a neutral location.
- 3:25Speaker 1: Use this as an opportunity to set or reinforce your
- 3:28Speaker 1: boundaries with an unaware friend. so that you two can
- 3:31Speaker 1: remain friends. For your friend who is either a user
- 3:34Speaker 1: or a faker, this is your opportunity to let them
- 3:37Speaker 1: know that you no longer see them as a friend
- 3:39Speaker 1: and that this is the last time you will be
- 3:41Speaker 1: spending time together. You can tell them how you've been
- 3:44Speaker 1: hurt by certain situations, but do not be surprised if
- 3:48Speaker 1: the user or the faker does not respond sympathetically or
- 3:51Speaker 1: with remorse. Building a friendship is tough, but maintaining a
- 3:55Speaker 1: friendship is far more difficult. Although being in a friendship
- 3:59Speaker 1: puts you in a vulnerable position, sometimes being in these
- 4:02Speaker 1: positions teach us more about life and about ourselves. However,
- 4:06Speaker 1: if you are going to take the chance of being
- 4:08Speaker 1: vulnerable with another person, please make sure that that person
- 4:12Speaker 1: respects and reciprocates that vulnerability. Do you recognize yourself or
- 4:16Speaker 1: somebody you know as one of these types? Let us
- 4:19Speaker 1: know how you dealt with it in the comments below.