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Criminals of Isla Numus: Episodes 1 & 2 - A Dungeons & Dragons Actual Play · Session Zero Heroes | TTRPG Actual Play Adventures & Improv Storytelling

• 0:00
  Hello weary
• 0:11
  traveler, I'm not sure what strange magic
• 0:14
  must have brought you here, but you have stepped into a
• 0:17
  realm of my creation. A sprawling
• 0:20
  city filled with danger and glory and, most
• 0:22
  importantly, lots of gold. Out. I
• 0:25
  call it Ilanumis. Who am I,
• 0:28
  you might ask? M the name is Jarjin,
• 0:31
  and I'm the patron deity of gambling.
• 0:34
  Long story short, this group of
• 0:37
  idiots, or as you may call them, heroes,
• 0:40
  made a bet with me that they had what it took to make a mass
• 0:43
  trove of gold, but left some of the key
• 0:46
  details blank. So I fill them in
• 0:49
  myself. I send them to this pocket
• 0:51
  dimension, into the city I had created
• 0:54
  with brand new bodies they'd have to attune
• 0:57
  to. Can these fools pass my test?
• 1:00
  Or will they be trapped, uh, here forever?
• 1:02
  So experience my world of trials
• 1:05
  and tribulations and join alongside this
• 1:08
  posse of pitiful people. Or as I like to
• 1:11
  call them, the criminals of Isla
• 1:14
  Numis. All
• 1:17
  right, everybody. Welcome to the first ever
• 1:19
  episode of Criminals
• 1:22
  of Isla Numis. Oh. Ah.
• 1:26
  I nailed it on the first go. Here we go. See, this is
• 1:29
  what you want to start things off with when it comes to a brand new
• 1:31
  DND podcast. All right. Sorry I'm ruining the
• 1:34
  intro. Um, welcome to, again, our DND
• 1:37
  podcast that we're doing. Uh, DND fifth
• 1:39
  edition, set in that well, it's sort of that world. It's
• 1:42
  sort of more of a homebrew world, but I digress. We
• 1:45
  have a group of five characters who
• 1:48
  you will be following along with, uh, in this
• 1:51
  interesting journey within a pocket dimension that a deity
• 1:54
  created and sort of threw these guys into. That's right.
• 1:57
  I'm throwing plot points out there.
• 1:59
  Uh, honestly, we probably should just kick
• 2:02
  things off. So here we go. You all
• 2:04
  awaken, except for Quinn. I'm
• 2:07
  already awake. Yeah, you're already awake. You're running business. Uh,
• 2:10
  straight up. We'll cut to you here in a second, but the rest of you
• 2:13
  all awakened, feeling well rested,
• 2:16
  as if you had just had a nice nap. But the weird thing is
• 2:19
  that you don't really remember going to bed.
• 2:22
  Last thing you remember was being on a boat that you had
• 2:25
  stolen from some Durgar, and you were
• 2:28
  riding to a little
• 2:30
  city inside of the underdark. Oh, we were going to try and
• 2:33
  find the surface, but I don't remember. Well, yeah, that was the adventure
• 2:36
  eventually. And, uh, you
• 2:39
  awaken to what seems to be sunlight. You, uh,
• 2:42
  feel the nice, warm breeze
• 2:45
  brush against your nose hairs
• 2:48
  and other hairs on your body.
• 2:50
  Uh, or scales. Sorry. Fair enough.
• 2:53
  Or feathers. Anyways, you, uh,
• 2:56
  awaken to this sensation as you look around and you
• 2:59
  see, off in the distance, what looks like a
• 3:02
  bustling but yet somewhat fairly peaceful
• 3:05
  city, massive in size, uh,
• 3:07
  surrounded by large, tall walls guarded
• 3:10
  at the openings, the opening gates
• 3:13
  by well equipped
• 3:16
  guards, as they should
• 3:18
  be. And uh, you think to yourself,
• 3:21
  I don't remember this for a moment. You think you're in a dream, but
• 3:24
  you reach down to pinch yourself, and you're surprised by
• 3:27
  two things. Uh, firstly, you're not in a dream that
• 3:29
  surprises you. And again, you jump back to the confusion of,
• 3:32
  where the heck am I and how did I get here? But you're also
• 3:35
  surprised when you look down and you realize that you are not
• 3:38
  in the same body that you were in before.
• 3:41
  You are no longer a dwarf or
• 3:44
  an elf or a triton or
• 3:47
  what was Maki the human human, okay? I was like, I
• 3:50
  think he was human or a human. You are a series
• 3:53
  of kinkus, of
• 3:55
  cobalts, of goblins.
• 3:58
  Uh, you look around, you see that you are also
• 4:01
  sitting next to other kinkus and cobalts and
• 4:03
  goblins. Uh, specifically four others.
• 4:06
  Since there's five of you. I mean, I'm not trying
• 4:09
  to spoil that little bit there, but there's five of
• 4:12
  you total, and there's five of you sitting around this tree.
• 4:15
  Um, and you're a little confused. And you're
• 4:18
  confused for about a moment before a voice speaks out to you. And
• 4:21
  he says, well, it looks like you finally
• 4:24
  awakened. And you look around you to see
• 4:27
  that nobody's there to speak to you. None. Uh, of the
• 4:29
  others seem to be opening their mouths. Nobody seems to
• 4:32
  be stirring much. They're a little surprised, but they're still sitting
• 4:35
  in a little bit of shock and awe. So this voice
• 4:38
  seems to be coming out of nowhere. Maybe it's the
• 4:41
  tree, maybe it's the wind. You're not sure, but it
• 4:43
  continues to speak. You're probably quite
• 4:46
  confused. Yes, uh,
• 4:48
  you probably remember me, although I didn't sound like
• 4:51
  this when you first met me. Yes, that's right.
• 4:54
  I am Ja Jim. Or as you knew
• 4:57
  me as Jim Ja.
• 5:00
  But that wasn't my real name. My real name is Ja
• 5:03
  Jim. And, uh, also was not my
• 5:05
  real personality, uh, in existence as a
• 5:08
  mortal being, but I'm, uh, actually a
• 5:11
  deity. Believe it or not, I'm a god.
• 5:14
  Surprise. And you do
• 5:17
  remember, you do recall a little gnome that was following you around in
• 5:20
  the under dark. Uh, he was a deep gnome,
• 5:23
  and he had gone by the name Jim Jar. And he
• 5:26
  had always been trying to make bets with you guys. He was constantly
• 5:29
  flipping a coin, trying to like, hey, I bet you this is going to
• 5:32
  happen. Or I bet that's going to happen. And, uh,
• 5:34
  yeah, that thought crosses your mind. That image crosses
• 5:37
  your mind. You remember who he is. But he didn't sound like
• 5:40
  this. And he definitely didn't go by Jar Jim. Although,
• 5:43
  yeah, it's just Jim Jar flipped around.
• 5:46
  Anyway, Jar Jim continues, he says, all right, I'm sure you
• 5:49
  remember me. Uh, so we'll just move on past that.
• 5:51
  Like I said, I'm a god. I am the god of
• 5:54
  gambling. It's what I do. That's why
• 5:57
  I was always making bets with you guys. And, uh,
• 5:59
  let's just say that this is a little bit of a bet on
• 6:02
  my part. I told you guys that you couldn't make
• 6:05
  it in a world and be successful
• 6:08
  if you were in a small little body like mine.
• 6:11
  Or at least the one that I was using
• 6:14
  when I met you guys. And so,
• 6:17
  uh, I don't know, I got some sass from the guy, uh,
• 6:20
  that Dwarven guy. And I, uh, said,
• 6:23
  you know what? I'll show you. And so here you are. I
• 6:26
  threw you in. This is my world. I made it
• 6:28
  myself. I made it when another god bet me I
• 6:31
  couldn't. And see, my power kind of works off
• 6:34
  of a thing where I have to be able to do what someone
• 6:37
  bets me that I can or cannot do.
• 6:40
  And so I gain the ability to do what I need to
• 6:42
  do. I'm not saying I always win, but just like the
• 6:45
  general skills. So I made this world. He lost a bit,
• 6:48
  but I don't know, I just kind of left this world just kind of sitting
• 6:51
  here. It's just been in a pocket dimension in my pocket.
• 6:54
  Uh, and now you guys are here.
• 6:58
  Uh, any questions so far? Um,
• 7:00
  Des sits, uh, up astounded
• 7:03
  at his newfound body, trying
• 7:06
  to regurgitate the
• 7:08
  feelings that he is thinking, unable to
• 7:11
  find his voice. All that comes out is in bird
• 7:14
  culture, this is considered a move.
• 7:18
  Well, I suppose some might feel that
• 7:21
  way, as you obviously do.
• 7:24
  Are we in a room? You are out in the open
• 7:26
  air, sitting under a tree. But you look up and
• 7:29
  the sky looks like it normally does. It goes on forever.
• 7:32
  Is there water? Anybody nearby? Uh, not immediately
• 7:35
  nearby, but you do see there is a large river that seems to
• 7:38
  kind of run from the east to the west side of the city. Got
• 7:41
  it. Um, the little
• 7:44
  goblin who is formerly known as
• 7:47
  Roric sits up and
• 7:52
  hot and just starts running down towards the river,
• 7:55
  full speed. Uh, there he
• 7:58
  goes. He looks
• 8:00
  quite uncomfortable for some reason.
• 8:04
  Uh, do the rest of you decide to pursue,
• 8:06
  as you see this strange figure that allegedly is somebody
• 8:09
  that, you know, runs off towards
• 8:12
  the water? They don't know goblin.
• 8:15
  They don't.
• 8:19
  Who are you? Meanwhile, the
• 8:22
  southern KANK, who lifts his head
• 8:25
  up from the tree root he was sleeping on
• 8:28
  this whole time and
• 8:31
  stretches his arms
• 8:33
  and goes to Yawn. But all that comes out is
• 8:36
  A.
• 8:41
  And with an alertness in his eyes, he
• 8:43
  looks around. An alertness
• 8:47
  that you'd, uh, find unusual, as his
• 8:50
  eyes are usually glazed over
• 8:53
  in an inebriated state.
• 8:57
  So, with clear orange eyes,
• 9:00
  Bird Maki views the world for the first
• 9:03
  time in a long time
• 9:06
  in a sober state of mind. No.
• 9:11
  What a reset and says,
• 9:20
  Talk.
• 9:23
  This is brutal.
• 9:26
  Uh, the cobalt wakes up
• 9:29
  and the former wild shaped
• 9:32
  druid, opens his eyes, looks at his
• 9:35
  dry, scaly skin, and just thinks to
• 9:37
  himself, I don't remember wild shaping.
• 9:40
  I don't ever remember having knowledge of a
• 9:43
  lizard lizard person. Wonder how
• 9:46
  long this is going to last. I was kind of hoping to turn
• 9:49
  into a, uh, T. Rex. Not this little gecko.
• 9:52
  You can almost audibly hear
• 9:55
  Jar Jim rubbing his temples as he goes.
• 9:59
  I just explained it. Okay, all right, let me try
• 10:02
  again. You're all yourselves, but I put
• 10:05
  you into new bodies inside
• 10:08
  of my pocket dimension City.
• 10:10
  But I always go into new bodies. That's a
• 10:13
  wild shape. Well, all right. You're in a new
• 10:16
  body in a permanent wild shape.
• 10:20
  Oh, no. And
• 10:23
  you're in a brand new place. Never
• 10:26
  been here before. There's going to be people you
• 10:29
  never met. There's going to be things you've never
• 10:31
  seen. There's going to be realities that you couldn't
• 10:34
  even imagine because I imagined them, and I'm a
• 10:37
  god. Okay. Well, anyways, I guess I'll
• 10:40
  continue. Uh, all right, so the bet is that
• 10:43
  you guys cannot accumulate.
• 10:45
  Oh, man, I feel like I should put on some kind of a fanfare
• 10:48
  or something for this. Here we go. You can't
• 10:52
  get together 1 million gold
• 10:55
  pieces in the span of,
• 10:57
  uh I'll give you
• 10:59
  six months.
• 11:04
  I swear, if I could talk,
• 11:07
  this god would be receiving the bet of his
• 11:09
  life,
• 11:12
  double or no peak. I bet you wouldn't give me
• 11:15
  a million gold pieces right now.
• 11:17
  Oh, that, uh, would be pretty clever. Can't
• 11:20
  speak, though. Now,
• 11:23
  you're probably thinking that's impossible, but let me
• 11:26
  assure you, this is a, ah, city of my
• 11:28
  creation. There's amounts of gold you've
• 11:31
  never seen before in your life to the point where,
• 11:34
  economically speaking, I might have tanked things a
• 11:37
  little bit. Uh, my bad. It is what
• 11:40
  it is. Gold's not going to be worth what it is on the outside,
• 11:43
  that's for sure. Uh, but you'll find plenty of
• 11:45
  gold here in order to make this
• 11:48
  whole mission, bet, goal, whatever you
• 11:51
  want to call it, possible. So, yeah, lots
• 11:54
  of opportunities to do so. And, uh, it's
• 11:57
  totally up to you guys how you do it, but I've put a
• 12:00
  whole lot of things in place in order to make it possible
• 12:02
  to do it. So you'll find a lot of
• 12:05
  opportunities in the city, a lot of people offering
• 12:08
  gold for things. Or you could steal it,
• 12:11
  whatever the case. You have to have a total of 1
• 12:14
  million gold in one place at one time. If someone
• 12:17
  steals some of your gold, it's gone. It doesn't count. If you spend
• 12:19
  some of your gold, it doesn't count. It's gone.
• 12:23
  Understand? Everybody good. Everybody up until this
• 12:26
  point. All right, perfect. Uh,
• 12:29
  along the way, you will find some key opportunities
• 12:32
  to help you out, but it's going to cost you.
• 12:35
  You want to upgrade your skills in your new
• 12:37
  bodies. You're going to have to pay for it.
• 12:40
  And, uh, add a game. If you want to level
• 12:43
  up, you got to pay for it with money.
• 12:47
  Uh, obviously you want to buy items
• 12:50
  in this world, you're going to have to pay for them. But
• 12:52
  that's pretty standard anywhere, right?
• 12:56
  You could add extra time to your six months.
• 12:59
  That's an option, and it's totally fair, but
• 13:02
  you're going to have to pay for it. I,
• 13:05
  uh, will allow you this is a little bit of
• 13:08
  Skyler trying to integrate Quinn into this.
• 13:11
  I will allow you one individual from my
• 13:13
  world that can join with your crew and contribute to this
• 13:16
  and be a part of it all. Wow.
• 13:19
  Uh,
• 13:44
  you I could sell some sauce.
• 13:50
  Uh, yeah. So at any point,
• 13:53
  feel free to do that. Also, I'm going to gift you a guys with
• 13:55
  something. And as you sit there a
• 13:58
  strange stone with sort of, like, uh,
• 14:00
  etched out lines in it, uh, floats
• 14:03
  down on, like, a beam of light before you and lands in
• 14:06
  the soft dirt. He says this right there,
• 14:09
  uh, this is a Divine
• 14:12
  Talkie Walkie,
• 14:14
  and it allows you to communicate with
• 14:17
  me once per day.
• 14:23
  I'll be watching, like, all the time. But I'm not going to talk
• 14:26
  to you and give you all the answers, of course, so
• 14:29
  you can communicate with me. Ask me a
• 14:31
  yes or no question once per day, and I will give
• 14:34
  you an honest yes or no answer as
• 14:37
  best as I can. Now, if I don't know the
• 14:40
  answer, then I can only do so much.
• 14:43
  I will try to work with you as best as I
• 14:46
  can, and we'll figure it out. But, uh, yeah.
• 14:48
  Anyways, there you go. Use it
• 14:51
  wisely. Once per day. I feel so
• 14:53
  violated.
• 14:57
  I'm sorry you feel that way.
• 15:03
  Like I said, I was growing bored. You
• 15:06
  guys weren't doing my bets, and, uh,
• 15:09
  you were making fun of my bets, and then you also,
• 15:12
  I want to establish that, and this is going to be a
• 15:15
  little bit from the previous campaign that you guys
• 15:18
  wouldn't know about, but here's a little information from that. The
• 15:20
  dwarf threw me in a lake
• 15:23
  of, um, man eating creatures.
• 15:27
  My avatar technically died,
• 15:30
  so at the very least, this is revenge for
• 15:33
  that. We did not attempt to
• 15:35
  resuscitate. It's true. I had to do it
• 15:38
  myself. Yeah.
• 15:44
  Uh, and with that, I guess I'll take my leave.
• 15:47
  You guys could figure it out on your own, unless you have a
• 15:50
  yes or no question, in which case you can use the Divine Talkie
• 15:53
  Walkie commence,
• 15:56
  and you just hear a long
• 15:59
  from some sort of otherworldly horn that
• 16:02
  slowly fades into silence. I
• 16:05
  learned a new sound.
• 16:07
  You learned the sound? Where is
• 16:10
  it? I haven't.
• 16:16
  You drive just kind of like
• 16:19
  remixes. Yeah. I got
• 16:21
  DJ Bird over here.
• 16:24
  Uh, okay. So as you hear the
• 16:27
  last of these words, you turn back towards
• 16:30
  the hill where your kenku
• 16:33
  right? Or your goblin m goblin friend is
• 16:36
  rushing towards the water. Um, I assume you
• 16:39
  were going to whatever was, like, visible water wise. Yeah.
• 16:42
  Okay. So you run to one end of
• 16:45
  this river that eventually makes its way into and through
• 16:48
  the entire city. Um, are you just
• 16:50
  jumping in? Yeah. Okay.
• 16:53
  Uh, you do that. Uh, and you start to
• 16:56
  feel yourself being carried into down the
• 16:59
  river towards the entrance of the city.
• 17:02
  Uh, try to swing back the shore. Okay.
• 17:05
  Yeah. You are able to eventually make your way back over
• 17:08
  to the corner of the shore. Now, you're standing there, you're looking up at
• 17:11
  these tall brick walls, um,
• 17:14
  that lead straight up and
• 17:16
  end with sort of a battlement. The Battleman.
• 17:20
  Sorry.
• 17:22
  You are immediately outside the wall.
• 17:25
  You are practically touching the wall.
• 17:30
  Maki springs to his
• 17:33
  claw seat. M takes a few steps
• 17:36
  forward and
• 17:39
  trips his
• 17:41
  unused to his knees, bending backwards. Oh,
• 17:44
  that's true. Yes. That would be a weird sensation.
• 17:48
  Um, face plants into a tree root.
• 17:51
  Ow. Ouch.
• 17:57
  Des looks at you, and it's just
• 18:02
  he knows a baby.
• 18:05
  Oh, no. Tess has lots of stories
• 18:08
  about, but he can't tell
• 18:11
  us. He, uh, gets back up
• 18:13
  and he tries to
• 18:16
  reach into his mind to remember how
• 18:19
  to form words and not just
• 18:22
  copy them. Manage to say ah.
• 18:25
  Uh, stick together,
• 18:29
  stick together. And he runs off
• 18:32
  after the goblin.
• 18:35
  All right. What about the rest of
• 18:38
  you? Hey, you. Yeah, you. Come
• 18:40
  here. Not here.
• 18:45
  Is that what you're shouting?
• 18:48
  You're right now that you're chasing,
• 18:52
  I'm just coming after you. I'm going to
• 18:55
  take one last look at this open world that we're
• 18:58
  in, not seeing any dwarf and say, I'm beginning
• 19:01
  to like this place already. And I run after the
• 19:03
  group. Just out of curiosity,
• 19:06
  did anyone grab the talkie walkie?
• 19:10
  It's just sitting there on the
• 19:14
  know. To be fair, I didn't know how that mechanic was going to
• 19:16
  get used, so okay. It's just forgotten.
• 19:19
  It's just forgotten.
• 19:22
  I do like the idea of a running bit where he
• 19:25
  keeps showing up every day to give it to us.
• 19:29
  We just keep forgetting it at every
• 19:32
  location we're at after he gave it to
• 19:34
  us. We might just have to do that.
• 19:38
  Well, somewhere, uh, out there, sitting
• 19:41
  on this nice little beautiful hill
• 19:44
  overlooking the city sits a divine,
• 19:47
  possibly legendary item
• 19:50
  that lets you speak to a god for get a yes or
• 19:53
  no answer once.
• 19:56
  I guess we can't ask if we really need that. How
• 19:59
  much do you think that would have sold for?
• 20:02
  That's a good question. That'd be a question to ask
• 20:05
  them. We won't have them anymore.
• 20:09
  To us.
• 20:12
  Uh, isn't that a
• 20:15
  isn't that a spell? Pretty sure. Like
• 20:19
  divine intervention? Yeah.
• 20:22
  Cleric spell? Yeah. What level spell is
• 20:25
  that? It's not a spell. Oh. It's a cleric ability.
• 20:28
  Class thing that comes with their divine you're right.
• 20:31
  Talent. But it's like, uh, at the 15th level, I
• 20:33
  believe. Okay. It's pretty powerful. Yeah.
• 20:36
  So you gave us a daily 15th
• 20:39
  level spell. Well, I tried
• 20:42
  to clarify. All
• 20:45
  right, so the, uh, whole group of you eventually catch
• 20:47
  up to your little goblin friend, who's standing
• 20:50
  there at this wall, soaking wet. Soaking wet, yes,
• 20:53
  very true. Looking up at it, um,
• 20:56
  with awe, maybe. No, he's
• 20:59
  shivering. Oh, he's just shivering. He's cold. Yeah.
• 21:02
  Um, and, yeah, you're outside the
• 21:04
  city, standing outside of the large. They got, like, a big gate
• 21:07
  thing that they can lower down into the water to kind of block off
• 21:10
  this end of the water. Um, you don't know necessarily
• 21:13
  where this river eventually gets to.
• 21:16
  You can see that it runs into the city, and
• 21:19
  then yeah, that's about as far as you can
• 21:22
  see. Um, uh, do I see all
• 21:25
  three of them running down to him? Yeah.
• 21:29
  Okay.
• 21:32
  He's kind of just point at them and
• 21:35
  just yell, stand back. Stand
• 21:38
  back, all of you. What's going on?
• 21:44
  Maki? What?
• 21:47
  You're maki.
• 21:53
  That's why we need to do video for the podcast.
• 21:56
  That is hilarious.
• 22:00
  Um, uh, well you've been turned into
• 22:03
  a bird. Who. You
• 22:08
  look at me. I'm roaring. Isn't it obvious?
• 22:13
  But you're
• 22:15
  cold. You're
• 22:18
  shivering. Yeah, I
• 22:21
  know. This is weird. I was hot. Now I'm really
• 22:23
  cold. I've never been cold before. I'm
• 22:26
  always normally cold. Now I'm
• 22:29
  warm, and my axe is
• 22:32
  gone. Who am I without
• 22:35
  my axe? I'm worthless
• 22:38
  now. Oh, well, guess I have to steal another one.
• 22:41
  Fair point. Uh,
• 22:44
  Dez just stands there, looks at
• 22:46
  Roric, uh, and says,
• 22:48
  uh, hello, Felix.
• 22:52
  That's not what I said. But are you that
• 22:54
  random. Wait, are you not who I
• 22:57
  am? No, I don't
• 23:00
  know who you are. Do I know who you
• 23:03
  are? And he points at the Cobalt rogers.
• 23:08
  You're ted Rogers. Okay.
• 23:13
  Was that the name of that? Oh,
• 23:16
  okay. Do you have multiple
• 23:18
  yes on that thing? Because it kind of sounded a little
• 23:21
  different. So you're the Triton, and that must
• 23:24
  mean oh, uh,
• 23:28
  you're Mother.
• 23:31
  Okay. And that must mean and he points
• 23:34
  up the coal volt and goes, you must be the
• 23:36
  elf. Yeah.
• 23:40
  Well, this is a huge
• 23:43
  improvement, let me just say.
• 23:46
  I was about to say you've never looked better.
• 23:50
  No, I'm um green. Green is bad. Blue
• 23:53
  is better. I need to get some blue paint or
• 23:56
  something. Also,
• 23:58
  how's my hair? I want to ask you a bunch
• 24:01
  of questions. I want to have them answered
• 24:04
  immediately. Uh, why? Uh, ask you first. How's
• 24:07
  my hair gone? What?
• 24:10
  My frosted tips? Oh, no.
• 24:14
  Sure enough, your frosted tips are gone. And then he looks
• 24:17
  down and opens up his shirt, which he normally
• 24:20
  doesn't wear. And are his
• 24:23
  frosted nips gone as well? Of course they are.
• 24:25
  Oh, no. And he falls to his knees and
• 24:28
  sticks on his hands and goes, no.
• 24:35
  How will I go on as you shout?
• 24:38
  No, you see, above you, a guard
• 24:41
  peeks his head over the gate and he says, oh, there.
• 24:44
  Uh, who is that? What are you doing
• 24:47
  down below the wall?
• 24:50
  Announce yourselves. Who are you?
• 24:55
  Fair question.
• 24:58
  I am sir. Phineas fiddlebottom.
• 25:02
  Who goes there? Watcher of the wall.
• 25:05
  That's my title. Sorry, I forgot about that. Uh,
• 25:08
  number six. Uh,
• 25:10
  2301.
• 25:13
  Who goes there? Watcher of the wall.
• 25:16
  Number
• 25:17
  621301.
• 25:20
  Sir. Uh, three oh one. Yes, you've
• 25:23
  got me. Correct. And who are
• 25:26
  you, watcher of the Wall.
• 25:28
  You're a watcher. No. I would
• 25:31
  know if there was a Watcher of the Wall who was a
• 25:34
  Kenku. We typically don't hire
• 25:36
  your type. Oof.
• 25:41
  Oof. Let us
• 25:44
  in. You have to go around, um, to the
• 25:46
  gate. Now, I don't want to let you in
• 25:49
  through the what was it?
• 25:53
  Okay, say, let us in right
• 25:56
  now. I cannot let you in through
• 25:59
  the oh, man. I feel like there's a term for this. The
• 26:01
  dam. Sure. Let's call it that. The
• 26:04
  spillway. Oh, the spillway.
• 26:06
  Yes. Thank you. Who are
• 26:09
  you, other kenku?
• 26:15
  Ted Rogers. Ted
• 26:18
  Rogers. Well, Ted Rogers, you
• 26:21
  and your group need to go around. Thanks for a
• 26:24
  minute. Nope.
• 26:27
  Excuse. Well, I
• 26:29
  will not be allowing you all passage through the
• 26:32
  spillway. Well,
• 26:35
  that may be, but you will
• 26:38
  not gain entrance here. You will
• 26:41
  need to go around. Which way? Well, it
• 26:43
  depends where you would like to enter, but the
• 26:46
  near what
• 26:49
  are you laughing about? Just tell us
• 26:52
  how to get in. All right. Well, the nearest
• 26:55
  entrance you, uh, want to head
• 26:57
  towards well, you know, shoot.
• 27:00
  You're already on the east side of the river. You might as
• 27:03
  well go to the east entrance. Just go
• 27:06
  kind of southeast along the wall. You'll find
• 27:09
  it, it'll spit you right out into,
• 27:12
  uh, the Asgardia, uh,
• 27:15
  district. Well,
• 27:18
  hold on.
• 27:21
  I forgot. We got a
• 27:23
  cobalt, a goblin I'm not going to send you to the
• 27:26
  Asgardia district. They'd throw you right
• 27:29
  back out again. All right? So you're going to have to cross the
• 27:32
  river and follow the wall to the
• 27:34
  west. And that'll spit you out over by
• 27:37
  the Central Stark, mediumville
• 27:40
  district. Mediumville is probably where you guys are
• 27:43
  looking for, I assume. All right, let's
• 27:46
  get going, gang. How do we cross the
• 27:49
  river? I don't care.
• 27:52
  Like this. And he just jumps into the river and
• 27:55
  comes across? It takes a little bit,
• 27:58
  but eventually you do get across. I'm not going to make you roll for it, because, I
• 28:01
  mean, it's not pushing that hard. Uh, des will follow
• 28:03
  after. Just jumps in. Who
• 28:06
  cares? I'm used to water. Well,
• 28:09
  thought I was. Maybe you still are, I
• 28:11
  guess. Little bird bat. Can birds swim? Yeah, birds can
• 28:14
  swim. Can kenku swim? Probably not as well. They
• 28:17
  float. They're hollow.
• 28:23
  What about the other two? Yukito and
• 28:26
  maki. Maki, um, takes a
• 28:29
  step into the water and
• 28:31
  dips his beak in and takes a drink.
• 28:34
  He kind of rubs it on his wings a little bit. All
• 28:37
  right. Almost impulsively.
• 28:41
  That was weird.
• 28:43
  And he gets into the water swims
• 28:46
  after. All right. Are you also going,
• 28:49
  keto? I will follow suit. All right,
• 28:51
  sounds good. You all make it to the other side
• 28:54
  drenched. And after about a ten minute
• 28:57
  walk, um, let's say it's more like
• 28:59
  15, you eventually make it, uh, through
• 29:02
  a small grouping of trees around
• 29:05
  to a series of small homes that are outside
• 29:08
  of the city wall. But you can see the main road
• 29:11
  that leads into the sort of northwest
• 29:14
  corner of the city, and you follow that
• 29:16
  in. And, uh, the guards there are
• 29:19
  really lax. They don't really care. Uh, you kind of get
• 29:22
  the idea that they see people like you every day. You don't
• 29:25
  bother them as much as the guard that was on the wall. Obviously kind
• 29:28
  of made things out to be. And so, sure enough, you enter the
• 29:31
  city. You find yourselves at sort of a
• 29:34
  strange,
• 29:35
  um,
• 29:37
  crossroads. Uh, to your
• 29:39
  immediate left, you see a district
• 29:42
  with sort of worn down
• 29:45
  houses sort of falling apart,
• 29:47
  faded colors, uh, worn out
• 29:50
  rooftops, so on and so forth. Uh, things that
• 29:53
  are growing up the sides of these
• 29:55
  homes. Um, and very
• 29:57
  starkly splitting right down the
• 30:00
  middle. Uh, straight ahead of you seems to be a whole other
• 30:03
  district with much nicer houses,
• 30:06
  much fancier builds, fancier
• 30:08
  designs, well kept, uh,
• 30:11
  siding and rooftops and paint
• 30:14
  and everything like that. Very, uh, sharp, stark
• 30:17
  difference. Do you have a preference on which direction you
• 30:20
  head? Are there any, um, shops that would
• 30:23
  benefit us? Maybe one that sells sauce or
• 30:26
  something? Got to find that sauce shop.
• 30:28
  Um, you do you do, in fact, hear somebody
• 30:31
  shouting from a distance. Sauce. Get sauce
• 30:34
  here. Little sauce is sauce company. Sauce. Saucy.
• 30:37
  Let's get saucy. Someone's shouting about their
• 30:40
  sauce. Uh, it's coming from inside the more worn down
• 30:43
  district. Uh, Maki,
• 30:46
  when he hears the word sauce,
• 30:49
  thinks of yes, he's off and
• 30:52
  on the sauce, and he
• 30:55
  reaches for his wineskin. That's usually on
• 30:57
  his hip. Realizing it's not
• 31:00
  there, he recalls what Rourke
• 31:03
  said earlier and gives out
• 31:06
  a near perfect mimic of
• 31:09
  his no. Uh,
• 31:16
  uh, uh oh, he lost his
• 31:18
  axe, too.
• 31:21
  My sauce is gone. Oh,
• 31:24
  his sauce is gone. Hey, he's got
• 31:27
  sauce. Come here. Get your sauce here. You see
• 31:29
  a small, little sort of sales almost, uh,
• 31:33
  like a booth, I guess. Probably more than anything. It's not like a full
• 31:35
  on store. It's like just kind of a side booth,
• 31:38
  right? No,
• 31:41
  it's a nice little not like a straight up
• 31:44
  store, but maybe like, um,
• 31:48
  a concession stand. Okay, so
• 31:51
  it's a nice little concession stand. Do you have any signage on
• 31:54
  this concession? Oh, yeah, it's just a little sauce. Sauce
• 31:57
  company. Little sauce of sauce company. That's what you see on the
• 32:00
  sign? Sauce co oh,
• 32:02
  sorry.
• 32:04
  Exactly. You don't want too big of a mouthful. No.
• 32:08
  Well, you do have the sauce letters. I got the sauce.
• 32:10
  That's right. Rocky hurriedly gets
• 32:13
  in line behind the person in
• 32:16
  front of him. Yes, it's a fairly,
• 32:20
  uh, hulking bug bear. Uh,
• 32:23
  he's kind of dressed in fairly drab clothes. Looks like
• 32:25
  he's probably been working. You can smell a pretty
• 32:28
  intense sweat smell off of his body. Maybe a
• 32:31
  little bit of an old sweat smell. That's just a
• 32:33
  sauce. It might be. Um,
• 32:36
  he's standing in front of you. You get up right behind him, and
• 32:39
  he kind of just looks behind him a little bit, and he grunts.
• 32:42
  And then he turns back and he steps forward.
• 32:45
  Whoever was in front of him leaves, opening, uh, up
• 32:48
  his ability to buy some sauce.
• 32:53
  What sauce you got today?
• 32:56
  Little sauce. Today's, uh, sauce
• 32:59
  is a nice mixture of the normal sauce
• 33:02
  that we always have and the sauce that we always have.
• 33:05
  I'll take two jar of
• 33:08
  little sauces. Today's
• 33:10
  sauce. Two jars of
• 33:13
  today's little sauce is sauce. Coming right up. All
• 33:16
  right. And he drops a couple of coins
• 33:19
  down in front of you. And you thank you. Thank you very much. Hand him a
• 33:22
  couple jars of sauce. And he heads, uh, off on his way.
• 33:25
  And Maki steps up and says,
• 33:28
  I'll take two jars
• 33:31
  of your sauce.
• 33:35
  Whoa, a little hostile there, budy. I don't
• 33:38
  recognize you from out.
• 33:42
  His name is Maki. Okay.
• 33:45
  And you are the way the whole group of you just kind
• 33:48
  of, like, follows them.
• 33:51
  Uh, Rourke, uh, sticks his hand
• 33:53
  out to shake his hand. He goes, My name's Rourick
• 33:57
  Frostbeard.
• 33:58
  Frostbeard. That name doesn't
• 34:01
  really work anymore, now, does it? You see, I'm a
• 34:04
  dwarf. Oh, boy,
• 34:07
  you don't look like a dwarf. Don't look too
• 34:10
  close. What's your name? And he sticks his hands
• 34:13
  to win for the hands.
• 34:15
  I'll reach out. Okay. I'm Feather
• 34:18
  McGregor. Connect. You get static
• 34:21
  shocked. Not that it's
• 34:23
  like static electricity. And, uh, Rock pulls his
• 34:26
  hands always what? Oh, sorry, sir. A
• 34:29
  little static electricity. Yeah. And he's, like, wiping the side of
• 34:32
  his pants. He's like oh, sorry. So
• 34:35
  be it. Anyways, my friend that's Maki, he can't really
• 34:38
  speak. Well, he's, uh, one of me.
• 34:41
  Yeah, exactly how do you talk so oh,
• 34:43
  I've been around a lot of people in my day.
• 34:46
  I've seen a lot of things. You're using the same
• 34:49
  voice consistently. Did one person just talk all
• 34:52
  the time around you? You could say that. He
• 34:55
  was my best friend. His name was
• 34:58
  McGriddle.
• 35:01
  I don't know what it was or what it
• 35:13
  griddle McGregor.
• 35:17
  That's the first Mick M that came to the top of
• 35:19
  my
• 35:22
  what was his actually name? I can't wait. Me
• 35:30
  breakfast.
• 35:34
  He would grill the meat, and then
• 35:36
  McGregor would provide the sauce for
• 35:39
  that meat. That's why he goes M by little sauce.
• 35:42
  You're a little sauce. Uh, yeah, I'm
• 35:45
  little sauce. Yeah. Who this store is named after. Yes,
• 35:48
  and I mimic Best, uh, friend
• 35:50
  who I lost, very tragically,
• 35:53
  to the sauce. You could say
• 35:56
  he got lost in the sauce. Oh, I know someone else like
• 35:59
  that. Right, maki and I go to, like, pat machi on the
• 36:02
  back, and another shock of static electricity
• 36:05
  comes out and he pulls his hands back. Sorry,
• 36:08
  Maki. Anyway. The name's Feather
• 36:10
  McGregor, but I go by Little Sauce. Oh, well,
• 36:13
  Maki likes the sauce, too, and he wants
• 36:16
  how many, Maki? Two
• 36:18
  sauce.
• 36:21
  All right. You got a coin? No, we're
• 36:24
  strapped. Uh, Maki looks reaches around
• 36:27
  this person, I was filthy rich,
• 36:30
  but, uh, God took all my
• 36:32
  money and god took
• 36:35
  all your money? Correct. Yeah, a gambling
• 36:38
  gut. Would you believe that? I did not lose it
• 36:41
  on the slime. Wait a minute, wait a minute. A, uh, gambling god.
• 36:44
  Yeah. I'm intrigued.
• 36:46
  Continue. That was the end of it,
• 36:49
  actually. Gambling guy took all our money.
• 36:52
  This seems really unlikely.
• 36:57
  I don't know. I mean, I can't give you any of my
• 36:59
  little sauce of sauce if you free samples.
• 37:03
  I do give out free sample. Okay. There you go.
• 37:06
  I take out little. And when I mean little, I'm
• 37:09
  talking like a
• 37:12
  dime piece of bread, a little bit
• 37:15
  of sauce. Oh, there you go. That's good. I hand it to each
• 37:18
  of you. Oh, each of us? Well, look at that. Do you have any
• 37:21
  rats? I find them to be the best vehicle for a good
• 37:24
  sauce. You still eat rats?
• 37:28
  Now, to be fair, I'm actually really hungry
• 37:30
  for rats. Little
• 37:33
  sauce of Sauce goes with anything.
• 37:36
  Originally, it was made for my buddy McGriddle's
• 37:39
  Burger restaurant. McGriddle's Burgers.
• 37:43
  But, uh, yeah, he tragically died. He
• 37:45
  got lost in the sauce more literally
• 37:48
  than you can imagine. It's more literal
• 37:51
  than you can literal.
• 37:55
  Did he get drowned in the sauce?
• 37:57
  Literally? He is the
• 38:01
  sauce. No, I'd rather
• 38:03
  not speak about McGriddle. Okay, it's fine to your
• 38:06
  store, but, uh, maybe only thinks
• 38:09
  he's dead. He got lost in the sauce
• 38:11
  dimension. He's in a
• 38:14
  pocket dimension
• 38:17
  right next to us.
• 38:21
  He's very much dead.
• 38:30
  He is dead. He is dead. Well,
• 38:33
  this is some sales pitch you're doing here. No, that
• 38:36
  was out of character. That was out of character?
• 38:38
  Yeah. Uh, what am I talking to?
• 38:43
  What's in the sauce?
• 38:46
  As I finished the freak. Well, what do you guys think? Did you like
• 38:49
  it? Yeah, what do you think? Uh, des
• 38:52
  is he nodding? Des is noding. Okay,
• 38:55
  I'm going to take that. You liked it? Maybe he thought I
• 38:58
  had a kick. I don't know. Um, but it still stands. No
• 39:00
  coin, no sauce. You
• 39:03
  know that line, Maki,
• 39:08
  but you know, where's the boo? You don't know
• 39:11
  him. I know him. You don't know him. I
• 39:14
  saved him out of a mean was
• 39:17
  that me, Maki? I don't remember. I hate to say it,
• 39:19
  but, uh, this is a small community. There's
• 39:22
  really only a couple booze vendors in town,
• 39:25
  and I know them all. Well, no,
• 39:29
  I mean, they're still stocked up. I mean, they have all
• 39:32
  the booze that you could drink. We're out of
• 39:35
  coin. But you have no coin. Huh. So I
• 39:38
  heist, uh,
• 39:41
  like, looking for the authority.
• 39:44
  You know who I'm looking for. You know who
• 39:47
  I'm looking for. Okay, as in
• 39:50
  you kind of know what I'm thinking
• 39:53
  here as I hear this. Okay.
• 39:56
  A heist. I'm
• 39:59
  intrigued. What kind of a heist?
• 40:01
  On me? If you're looking at me, I got,
• 40:04
  um, uh, my staff out.
• 40:07
  Ready? M.
• 40:10
  He starts reaching for his staff. Yeah, just kind of reaching for
• 40:13
  it. Kind of like QuiGon jin when
• 40:16
  he's like, whoa, saving for marriage,
• 40:18
  buddy.
• 40:22
  We're just supposed to find, uh, a fifth person
• 40:25
  to join our crew.
• 40:27
  Wow. Little sauce
• 40:30
  is a little interested. How good is the sauce business
• 40:33
  at night? Or rather, all around, I
• 40:36
  guess. Euphemisms are
• 40:38
  flowing during the day. You clearly
• 40:41
  work day hours. But does this business really
• 40:44
  give you enough to go on day to
• 40:47
  day? Financially speaking? I
• 40:50
  have my ways. Well, anyways,
• 40:55
  I actually missed most of it. About a
• 40:58
  god sent us all year. Oh, no, you heard
• 41:01
  it as you were running down the
• 41:04
  god sent you here? Yeah, and he, uh,
• 41:07
  I find this very unlikely. How much money do
• 41:10
  we need to get Maki? You remember $1
• 41:12
  million. I want to hear him do the
• 41:15
  voice. That would have been funny.
• 41:18
  $1 million?
• 41:22
  Yeah, that's the voice of the guy right there.
• 41:25
  That was the voice of the god. Yeah, well, he's a kink.
• 41:28
  This seems all made up to me.
• 41:31
  This is really hard to believe. I
• 41:34
  see random strangers in my town
• 41:37
  that want to try little sauce of sauce, but have no sauce for
• 41:39
  the sauce. No coin for the sauce.
• 41:42
  That's what we call you. Just
• 41:45
  use the word sauce intermixed with any other
• 41:48
  word if you feel like it. I'm a little sauce.
• 41:51
  Okay? You got
• 41:54
  to give sauce to get sauce.
• 41:57
  Uh, wiser words have never been spoken. A
• 42:00
  sauce. I have this, and I pull out
• 42:03
  a flat ask of oil.
• 42:07
  You trade this for ah, sauce.
• 42:10
  What kind of oil? I said
• 42:12
  sauce. Mhm. You just said
• 42:15
  oil. Sauce for
• 42:18
  sauce, sauce for sauce. I'm using your
• 42:21
  language here. I'm going to pass.
• 42:27
  Maki goes to drink.
• 42:33
  Not good sauce. Not good sauce.
• 42:37
  So,
• 42:40
  do we have a proposition? You join us for the night
• 42:43
  jobs and maybe, uh, lead us around this town.
• 42:46
  You guys are kind of like bad people.
• 42:49
  No, we're
• 42:51
  adventurers. Right,
• 42:53
  boys?
• 42:55
  Sure. You guys sound
• 42:58
  so but you just
• 43:01
  said you wanted to commit a heist. We have. No it sounds like you want to
• 43:03
  heist me. No, not hoist heist
• 43:06
  east. You want
• 43:09
  to steal from me? Not you. Why would we tell
• 43:12
  you, if we were going to steal from you,
• 43:16
  to be fair, this would be, like, the first time we'd steal from
• 43:18
  anyone. But that's normally because we pick up
• 43:21
  jobs, and maybe we should just do that like we normally do. Pick up
• 43:24
  a job and make money that way.
• 43:27
  I'm just sitting there. Right. One of
• 43:30
  the guards in the town walks by.
• 43:33
  Uh, I don't think they say this. I don't know if I
• 43:36
  need to roll for that or not, but I kind of just give him the
• 43:39
  little head nod. Are
• 43:42
  you trying to get his attention? He's walking by. He looks at
• 43:45
  me. It's kind of one of those things. I tell you what
• 43:48
  roll. What do you want me to roll? A
• 43:51
  performance? Uh, to see if you can really catch
• 43:54
  his attention with the idea of, hey, I want
• 43:56
  you to come over here. No, I don't necessarily want him to come
• 43:59
  over. This is going into
• 44:02
  your chummy with these guys. What I've talked to you
• 44:05
  about is he
• 44:08
  okay? That's a really hard thing.
• 44:13
  Don't look over there
• 44:16
  between you and this guard. Yeah. What do you want me to
• 44:19
  roll? But you still want me? Yeah, I didn't figure
• 44:22
  that. You're just saying you just want to make sure
• 44:25
  that you got him
• 44:27
  as sort of backup. You got
• 44:30
  me in a way. Okay. He
• 44:33
  would obviously know what was going on.
• 44:36
  Sure. How do I go about this? Skyler, um, what do
• 44:39
  you want to happen right now
• 44:42
  as the dude walks by, he's a member
• 44:45
  of yeah. And he gives you a nod back.
• 44:47
  Sure. Just thinks
• 44:50
  you're friendly. Just really tough. Because I don't know how much
• 44:53
  to share, and I don't know how much to not share. Do you want
• 44:56
  him to do something? Right now? I'm very
• 44:59
  willing to pretend that I've heard nothing.
• 45:01
  Right.
• 45:06
  Nice. Um, yeah.
• 45:09
  Currently, uh, Rourick is digging through his
• 45:12
  pockets, trying to see what things he does
• 45:15
  own. Right.
• 45:17
  Or sauce. Possible sauce. I just don't know. What do
• 45:20
  you want from him in this moment?
• 45:23
  Just obviously, I wouldn't
• 45:26
  want him to come over. I just want to do the little yeah, okay.
• 45:29
  You give him the signal. Just a little head nod. Stay nearby.
• 45:32
  As I'm talking, I'm just like, yeah,
• 45:35
  okay, that was a lot to explain, but I don't know how
• 45:38
  much not to share. Um, give me that
• 45:40
  much at least. So yeah, okay, you do that. So as
• 45:43
  I'm talking to him, I just see,
• 45:46
  hey, give him a little head nod. He gives you a nod back. Then, uh, he kind
• 45:49
  of sort of walks a little
• 45:52
  bit further, but then he kind of stops and leans up against maybe
• 45:55
  one of the nearby houses. Would these guys notice?
• 45:59
  Do I notice? We would have to roll? Yeah, go for give me
• 46:02
  a perception roll, you guys, just to see if you kind
• 46:05
  of catch on to both. What
• 46:07
  your newfound friend did, and also the guard. Okay,
• 46:10
  so good at these nine. All
• 46:13
  right. Dirty 20.
• 46:16
  Uh, a dirty 20. All right. Fitting.
• 46:19
  Fitting. All right. Is it perception? Yes.
• 46:22
  1313. All right. Um, I'd say 13
• 46:25
  and higher. You guys kind of catch on to, at the
• 46:28
  very least, the guard. Uh, but I would say that
• 46:31
  des, you catch on to the
• 46:34
  little head nod that was given by your
• 46:37
  associate that caught the attention of this
• 46:39
  guard. I see so much, but can say so
• 46:42
  little. That's true. He's the perfect
• 46:45
  person to roll high. What's he going to tell
• 46:48
  everybody? Where's the sauce? He wants
• 46:51
  the sauce. It's in the back.
• 46:56
  It's down the street. Uh, all
• 46:59
  right, find a vendor down there. I would be interested.
• 47:03
  Do you know where we could pick up jobs? Like
• 47:06
  a, uh, job board or something? You guys
• 47:08
  could, uh, work for me selling sauce?
• 47:11
  No. Can we get a job board somewhere
• 47:14
  that pays more than we don't know how
• 47:17
  much I pay. I already have a good feeling.
• 47:20
  I mean, I'd be willing to pay you guys
• 47:23
  5% of the daily sold.
• 47:26
  Each of the daily daily
• 47:29
  sauce sold. So they sell
• 47:32
  say they sell $10. They get 5% of ten.
• 47:35
  How much do you sell on a daily basis? It
• 47:38
  varies. We're not in the heavy sauce season.
• 47:44
  Nobody's really doing, like, rub. Oh,
• 47:46
  wait, rib cookouts. Wait, you're not in
• 47:49
  the heavy sauce season? The community feast is a heavy sauce
• 47:52
  season. Oh, but not right now. It's a dry season.
• 47:55
  Right now it's more of the dry rub season.
• 48:01
  Dry rub vendor can be
• 48:04
  three boost, Dallas. In that case, we should get a job
• 48:07
  with them instead. But next
• 48:10
  week, it turns back into sauce season. Uh, well, we'll
• 48:12
  meet you again next week. Come on, boys. And I'm just going
• 48:15
  to start walking to the
• 48:18
  guard who's right across the stand from
• 48:21
  us. I'm going to be like, hey, Mr.
• 48:23
  Gar, where's a
• 48:26
  job board? We want a job. Uh, board.
• 48:29
  Well, uh, if you're looking for the
• 48:31
  Mercenaries Guild, you know
• 48:34
  well, there would be Adventurers Guild. There
• 48:37
  is no Adventurers Guild. What kind of lame
• 48:40
  place is this? We have a Mercenaries Guild. They
• 48:43
  take care of problems that arise within the
• 48:46
  city. Okay. I like to
• 48:48
  punch stuff up, call it duty. You
• 48:51
  guys want to become mercenaries? Yeah.
• 48:56
  Okay. Unless you're looking for work with one
• 48:59
  of local businesses.
• 49:02
  Sure. That plays, and he's, like,
• 49:04
  motioning right behind him.
• 49:07
  I see. Well, you have a number of options
• 49:10
  businesses you could ask. But if I hear that you've been
• 49:13
  harassing any of the people that are in good businesses
• 49:16
  around here, I'm going to have words to say.
• 49:19
  Hurricane points at himself and kind of looks confused. He
• 49:22
  goes harassed. We've been harassed
• 49:25
  here, if anybody. Oh, yeah?
• 49:28
  By whom?
• 49:30
  People. Not really a
• 49:33
  safe place around here for a goblin and some
• 49:36
  Cancuns and, uh, scaly boy.
• 49:39
  Well, at least you're self aware. Uh, I
• 49:41
  try to be. And self conscious.
• 49:45
  And very nervous about
• 49:48
  my body. Very nervous about my new found
• 49:51
  body. I miss my hair
• 49:54
  and my nips. Anyways, boys, let's get
• 49:57
  out of here. I like to imagine the guard just
• 50:00
  stares at your chest for a second. Hey, no looking.
• 50:06
  All right, so you guys head off into an undisclosed
• 50:09
  direction, I assume in search of
• 50:12
  the Mercenaries Guild. Sure.
• 50:14
  Maki says in his, uh,
• 50:17
  perfect, normal voice, let's go to the
• 50:20
  bar. These
• 50:23
  phrases that was in Maki's psyche.
• 50:27
  Maki was her voice. Maki.
• 50:31
  And at this point, Maki realizes
• 50:35
  that he has a talent for
• 50:37
  mimicry, but he
• 50:40
  also remembers his past life
• 50:43
  and the words he often said in that
• 50:46
  life. Oh, good. And so he tries to
• 50:49
  mimic his own voice, and in doing so, finds
• 50:52
  out he can talk normally.
• 50:55
  There you go. With minor hiccups.
• 50:57
  Yeah. Um, out of
• 51:00
  curiosity, Buzwords
• 51:04
  Quinn
• 51:07
  does your character what is he doing?
• 51:12
  What time of day is this? Probably, uh,
• 51:17
  let's say it's past early morning,
• 51:21
  uh, uh, going into, like, lunchtime, maybe.
• 51:24
  Not quite the brunch hours. Uh,
• 51:27
  I just hop out, pull the sign down, and say
• 51:30
  back at this time, got a little non patient.
• 51:33
  Oh, yeah. So I just kind of hop out,
• 51:36
  pull the little I don't know what you call
• 51:39
  the gate down or whatever. Just says we'll be
• 51:42
  back. We'll be back. All right, perfect. Des will
• 51:45
  return to Lil sauce. Okay. And he
• 51:47
  opens his beak, and he just hey, you. Yeah,
• 51:50
  you. Come here. Um, okay. Yeah. Can I help you?
• 51:53
  I'm closed for the time being. What a special
• 51:56
  friend you are.
• 52:01
  I'm flattered, but I'm going to take an early lunch
• 52:04
  today. Follow me. Um, I mean,
• 52:07
  I had some other stuff I had planned. No, little
• 52:09
  passive aggressive.
• 52:13
  Can I meet you here in, like, ten minutes?
• 52:16
  Just narrows his eyes at
• 52:18
  you. Five minutes. Des rolls his eyes
• 52:21
  and continues to walk back towards his group of friends.
• 52:24
  All right. Okay. I'll meet you in five minutes.
• 52:27
  I walk over to the guard. Okay. We just have
• 52:29
  our conversation. Yeah. What do
• 52:32
  you got? Yeah, I got some strange, uh, people.
• 52:35
  I haven't seen town before. Yeah, it
• 52:38
  happens. Uh, it happens, but not
• 52:41
  like this. He comes up asking about lil sauce. M
• 52:44
  first of all, who hasn't heard about Lil Sauce? Sauce.
• 52:47
  You do get around Lil sauce.
• 52:52
  I don't know if you're just coming over here to get words of
• 52:54
  affirmation from me. No. So he sits there and
• 52:57
  he says, we're looking for jobs, so I offered him a job. He said
• 53:00
  no. Well, that also happens
• 53:02
  reasonably often. Yeah, but then he says, how about a
• 53:05
  heist
• 53:09
  a m little strange. That is a bit strange, for
• 53:11
  sure. Do you think we should take this to the higher ups?
• 53:15
  How about you follow him?
• 53:18
  Well, this guy over here to point to him over
• 53:20
  there. Is he still just, like, looking at
• 53:23
  me?
• 53:26
  Giving you dagger? This
• 53:29
  guy told me to come follow him now.
• 53:32
  What a coincidence. It's crazy how
• 53:35
  this world works. It really is. Get to
• 53:37
  it, all right? And don't forget to let us know if
• 53:40
  you notice anything. All right, sounds good. Little sauce out.
• 53:43
  All right. Yeah.
• 53:47
  You give him a little piece sign.
• 53:50
  No, we do the awkward forearm grab.
• 53:54
  I really wish he would stop grabbing my arm like that.
• 53:58
  It's in memory of McGriddle. He's a
• 54:00
  human. It's in memory of McGriddle.
• 54:03
  Remember the cause. What?
• 54:07
  What was that? What? It's in memory of
• 54:10
  McGriddle. Yeah, remember the cause.
• 54:15
  What does that mean?
• 54:18
  See you later? I mean, we all liked McGriddle,
• 54:21
  but okay, see you later, and you
• 54:24
  walk off to kind of follow. Now, out of curiosity, are you
• 54:27
  following after them, like stealthily, or are you just trying to keep your
• 54:30
  distance? I'm m just walking up to this guy because he yelling.
• 54:33
  Okay. All right, so, yeah, you catch up to him. Hey,
• 54:36
  what's up? And all the rest of you obviously hear
• 54:39
  him right behind this guy.
• 54:42
  He asked me to follow him. He what?
• 54:47
  What a special friend you are. Oh, he
• 54:50
  must like you. I'm very
• 54:52
  flattered. I think this might be an elaborate ploy to
• 54:55
  get at your sauces, but we'll roll
• 54:58
  with it. I
• 55:01
  feel like he's
• 55:04
  this bird guy is a good judge of character.
• 55:07
  I don't know why. I just trust
• 55:12
  uh, as you guys are making your way to the tavern,
• 55:15
  are you guys asking him m any questions about the
• 55:18
  world or the city or anything like
• 55:21
  that? What, uh, does a fella got to do to
• 55:24
  get a million gold as fast as
• 55:26
  possible? A million gold? A million gold.
• 55:29
  Well, you have to work hard. No.
• 55:33
  You have to be persistent. Uh, you have to be
• 55:36
  honest. Definitely
• 55:38
  not. Now, to clarify, Quinn, uh, you
• 55:41
  would know better than anybody, sir, what's your character's name? I feel bad
• 55:44
  calling you Quinn when you have uh
• 55:48
  right. Sorry. Lil sauce. Uh, you do know
• 55:51
  that there are many in this city that have made
• 55:54
  a lot of money doing some very questionable and
• 55:57
  underhanded things. Um, but whether or not
• 56:00
  you would go into detail about those things, I guess, is up to
• 56:03
  you. I don't think so, because I'm not necessarily a fan of those things.
• 56:05
  No, that's fair. I'm just really good at those
• 56:09
  things, particularly. All right.
• 56:11
  But I don't think I'd mention that. Okay.
• 56:15
  Obviously, um, I'm only there because this
• 56:17
  guy has dragged me along. I'm kind of
• 56:20
  sketched out by these guys. Fair enough. Okay. I'm just saying,
• 56:23
  at any point, if you need me to fill in gaps, uh, of
• 56:26
  what you would know, that's fine. You would want to answer
• 56:29
  with this group for any of their questions, open your mouth. So
• 56:32
  I guess I could say that then there's a lot of people
• 56:35
  that have made money here in very bad
• 56:37
  ways, but I don't think you're those type
• 56:40
  of pirates. Not
• 56:43
  necessarily pirates.
• 56:46
  Pirates, uh, are cool. I was a
• 56:49
  pirate. You were a pirate.
• 56:52
  I look at you up, and it's like you're little too
• 56:55
  don't. Well, I know my place in this
• 56:57
  world. I do too. Debatable. Uh,
• 57:01
  and that's with a million dollars in
• 57:03
  collective pockets. But we do
• 57:06
  have a
• 57:08
  bank. We do have a bank. Uh,
• 57:11
  you don't have any money to put in it? Sure. But we
• 57:14
  do have a very nice casino
• 57:17
  gambling parlor. We, uh, have actually, like, four
• 57:20
  of those for some reason in this world. I'm not sure why. There's
• 57:23
  plenty there are four in this community alone. Not sure why
• 57:26
  there's so many in this world, but, uh,
• 57:29
  maybe not. Are they all district? But there are definitely
• 57:32
  at least one district. Are they all district owned by the same
• 57:34
  person? No, many different people. So four different
• 57:37
  owners, the four different casinos. That's probably
• 57:40
  why. Maybe not four.
• 57:43
  It just seems like that many. But
• 57:46
  they're in every district you go to. Very
• 57:48
  big boss is like, there's only four good ones
• 57:52
  that give you, like, free drinks while you're gambling.
• 57:55
  Free drinks while you're gambling. We all
• 57:58
  look at mom,
• 58:02
  but you guys don't have any money. So, I mean, that's off the
• 58:05
  table. You can give us some money.
• 58:08
  Yeah, but then, uh, you didn't earn it.
• 58:11
  Haven't you heard of
• 58:13
  begging?
• 58:16
  I tell you what, I'm a generous guy.
• 58:19
  Let's go over to the gambling parlor.
• 58:22
  I'll give you $10. I'll let you
• 58:25
  spend the slot machine a couple of times. If
• 58:28
  you can, say, win
• 58:32
  triple your money,
• 58:35
  I'll give you some free sauce,
• 58:40
  and we keep the money. Sure. And
• 58:43
  they give us drinks if we sit
• 58:46
  in these gambling halls.
• 58:48
  If you sit there long enough. But $10
• 58:51
  isn't a lot. That could be gone in two spends.
• 58:54
  I see. All right,
• 58:57
  deal. Like, free money. I'm not going to say
• 59:00
  no. So you take them
• 59:02
  to do you like this
• 59:05
  idea? Let's say that it's in here. Okay.
• 59:07
  Edo, you can't just nod.
• 59:10
  This is an audio based podcast.
• 59:19
  Hey, everyone, skyler here. Are you a fan of Session Zero
• 59:21
  Heroes and the shows we produce or the characters involved?
• 59:24
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• 59:27
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  you can get. Now back to the show.
• 59:55
  Your new friend leads you to
• 59:58
  a fairly nice casino. It's a pretty nice one.
• 1:00:01
  It's not in the, uh, district that you were
• 1:00:04
  at. He leads you back into the Asgardia district
• 1:00:07
  that I had mentioned before. Um, the nicer kind of
• 1:00:10
  area, the nicer district. And you're greeted by a
• 1:00:12
  tiled floor leading all the way up to the entrance.
• 1:00:15
  So you guys are all standing there in front of this guard
• 1:00:18
  at the casino, and he is
• 1:00:22
  trying, uh, to figure out if he should let you in or not. Um,
• 1:00:25
  who are you guys? Oh, yes, uh,
• 1:00:28
  it's Lil Sauce, and I got my group of friends
• 1:00:31
  here. Little sauce. Uh, not
• 1:00:34
  sure. Yeah, give, uh, me a
• 1:00:37
  persuasion roll. Yeah, little Sauce
• 1:00:39
  in the marinade
• 1:00:43
  15. All right. Yeah. He says ah.
• 1:00:46
  Oh, yeah. You're the guy with the sauce
• 1:00:49
  stand over in the mediumville district?
• 1:00:52
  Yeah, that's me. All right.
• 1:00:55
  Yeah, I mean, go on in. We know that you don't cause trouble. Are these
• 1:00:58
  guys with you? They're with me. Are they cool?
• 1:01:01
  They're not going to cause any trouble in there? Cool as a
• 1:01:04
  cucumber. All right. If you're flashy
• 1:01:07
  finger, no
• 1:01:09
  gun.
• 1:01:13
  Yes. Uh, uh, what's up? Yes.
• 1:01:16
  You see any celebrities come through here recently?
• 1:01:19
  Uh, no, not really. Nobody today. It's a little
• 1:01:22
  early. Slow day. I'm not saying it's a slow
• 1:01:25
  day. It's just a little early. When do
• 1:01:28
  the celebrities show up? It's usually more of a late night thing.
• 1:01:31
  Do you have anybody in residency
• 1:01:35
  at, ah, the casino? Yeah, uh,
• 1:01:37
  performer. Oh, a performer.
• 1:01:40
  Well, we don't usually get anybody until, like I said, the later
• 1:01:43
  hour. Uh, usually it's just old people that come
• 1:01:45
  here during this time. No, no,
• 1:01:48
  constant same same
• 1:01:50
  people. Oh, well, I mean, we got
• 1:01:54
  Philly Jim and the jets. Philly jim and
• 1:01:56
  the oh, I love oh. Really?
• 1:01:59
  Wait, wait, wait. What kind of tricks do these old
• 1:02:02
  people yeah,
• 1:02:05
  yeah, you mentioned you got, uh, old people.
• 1:02:08
  No, sorry. The old people are the only ones here
• 1:02:11
  gambling, and they
• 1:02:14
  like to keep it pretty simple, pretty peaceful,
• 1:02:18
  uh, while they're doing their thing. It might smell a
• 1:02:21
  little funny. They still want to go
• 1:02:24
  in? Just old people? I
• 1:02:26
  mean, our fellows got to go to make some
• 1:02:29
  money, right? I got my ten goal here for you guys. Uh,
• 1:02:33
  uh, free drink, free drinks. Nothing
• 1:02:36
  tastes better than free.
• 1:02:39
  That's ah what he should we go inside and talk to the guests so
• 1:02:42
  we know. I do like the company of this
• 1:02:45
  security guy up front, though. Do you want to join us? No.
• 1:02:47
  Okay. Well, let's go.
• 1:02:50
  Please do. You're holding up the line. Yes. There is not a
• 1:02:53
  line. There's, uh, three old ladies
• 1:02:56
  waiting behind you, and they're getting very impatient.
• 1:02:58
  Sorry, Dean. The old ladies. Anyways,
• 1:03:01
  we're not we're just making sure you
• 1:03:04
  guys we're keeping an eye on you guys,
• 1:03:08
  okay? They're not getting any younger, so come on. Yeah, when you're
• 1:03:11
  getting any younger, please move along.
• 1:03:14
  Okay.
• 1:03:22
  All right, we're going to walk up to that lady in
• 1:03:25
  the front, the boot
• 1:03:29
  hold on. I got to describe that ahead
• 1:03:31
  of yourself. What are you talking about? I want to walk up to the
• 1:03:34
  okay, so you walk inside to this
• 1:03:37
  front section of the casino, and you look to your
• 1:03:40
  right and your left, and you see sort of a seating area
• 1:03:43
  for people who are eating right. Uh,
• 1:03:46
  there's a buffet on the left side. Not on the right side. That's just
• 1:03:49
  additional seating space. But on the left side, you see
• 1:03:52
  a little cashier booth register, whatever you want to call
• 1:03:54
  it. And it's manned by a female
• 1:03:57
  tiefling, um, who's kind of just, like,
• 1:04:00
  checking people in if they want to purchase a
• 1:04:02
  spot to go eat at the buffet.
• 1:04:06
  Um, it's a long buffet table right now. It's
• 1:04:09
  got a bunch of, uh, brunch foods. So
• 1:04:11
  you've got your eggs and bacon and sausage and
• 1:04:14
  waffles and other
• 1:04:17
  things. Pancakes, whatever. Fruit. There's a fruit.
• 1:04:20
  This is a section important question that all of us are
• 1:04:23
  thinking. Maybe not little sauce, but
• 1:04:26
  we're in new bodies. Are we really
• 1:04:29
  hungry? Because, uh, we went through, like, a
• 1:04:31
  body transformation, and if it's a pocket
• 1:04:34
  dimension, are we more so like clay, um,
• 1:04:37
  homunculi? Or are we indeed real
• 1:04:40
  individuals? This sounds like we need to eat and breathe and drink. Uh,
• 1:04:43
  well, to jump over real quick to Jackson's
• 1:04:46
  question, uh, that seems like a really great question that if
• 1:04:49
  you had the divine talkie walkie
• 1:04:56
  what's this talking walking thing you're talking about?
• 1:05:00
  I was not around. Sure. I'm not
• 1:05:03
  talking to your character. That's true. But to jump
• 1:05:06
  over how dumb you guys are to your question about
• 1:05:09
  hunger, you, uh, are as hungry as
• 1:05:12
  somebody that just woke up in the morning
• 1:05:14
  so hungry for breakfast. Sure. So when
• 1:05:17
  that bacon hits our noses
• 1:05:21
  um, when that bacon hits my nose, I want to eat
• 1:05:24
  it. You float up in the air. Some wings appear behind. I
• 1:05:27
  don't want to eat my nose. Yes.
• 1:05:30
  I'm just like a cartoon character. I smell the
• 1:05:32
  bacon, and I start floating up in the air and
• 1:05:35
  start floating towards the bacon. And the lady grabs
• 1:05:38
  I was going to say, as you're floating, my back foot and
• 1:05:41
  drags you back, slams you down on the ground, and she
• 1:05:44
  says, Sir, I don't see a
• 1:05:47
  badge that says you paid to be in
• 1:05:50
  the buffet. I
• 1:05:53
  dropped it. You
• 1:05:56
  say that. I
• 1:05:59
  didn't say it. Okay. You didn't say anything. Okay. I'm going to be like,
• 1:06:01
  oh, I thought everything in
• 1:06:04
  here was free. Yeah, that if
• 1:06:07
  you are inside of the gambling hall, you may be able to
• 1:06:10
  receive some free drinks as you sit and play the
• 1:06:13
  game. I look around. I go, do you have to be playing the
• 1:06:16
  games?
• 1:06:19
  Uh, the buffet is separate. Can I get your number?
• 1:06:22
  Excuse me? My
• 1:06:24
  house number. So you can visit me. No, sir, we are not
• 1:06:27
  on that basis yet.
• 1:06:31
  I thought we were playing the dating Game.
• 1:06:35
  He starts just nudging.
• 1:06:41
  Excuse me. You
• 1:06:44
  are causing quite a disturbance for the other guests
• 1:06:47
  who are eating. If you could please move into the
• 1:06:49
  gambling hall with your craziness. They can't
• 1:06:52
  even hear. Uh,
• 1:06:59
  machines are too loud.
• 1:07:02
  All they can hear is the sound of their
• 1:07:05
  greed and jackpot
• 1:07:07
  sounds. And you do hear in the distance some
• 1:07:10
  jackpot sounds or some general just machine sounds,
• 1:07:13
  followed by the clingling and clanging
• 1:07:16
  of little coins against metal
• 1:07:20
  further into the casino area. We got a
• 1:07:22
  winner. Can you say that?
• 1:07:27
  Shaking my head,
• 1:07:28
  furiously scan the room
• 1:07:32
  for any, i, uh, don't know, uh, old people that are,
• 1:07:34
  like, struggling.
• 1:07:37
  Anything in particular? There's definitely at
• 1:07:40
  least one old lady that's an old man
• 1:07:43
  that's trying to get, uh,
• 1:07:45
  spoonful of jello,
• 1:07:52
  and they're going to just give us their money.
• 1:07:55
  Thanks for the old people.
• 1:08:00
  Uh, in the additional seating area
• 1:08:03
  to your right, you see an old man, and he's got a spoon of
• 1:08:05
  jello, and it's just really shaky, and he's trying to get it to his
• 1:08:08
  mouth, but he's having a really hard
• 1:08:11
  time getting it there without dropping that jello. And then he's got to go
• 1:08:14
  scoop it up again, and he tries, and it
• 1:08:17
  just keeps happening. Poor guy. Wait,
• 1:08:20
  we are newcomers. Did we get
• 1:08:22
  that newcomer bonus? You say that.
• 1:08:25
  Can someone ask? I said, let's go get it. And you guys want
• 1:08:28
  we're standing with the lady, right? This is the lady that we got, the newcomer?
• 1:08:31
  Yeah. I'll ask her about it because I said we need to go talk to her about the
• 1:08:34
  new person bonus.
• 1:08:39
  It's been a while since I was a new customer. You guys
• 1:08:42
  have the free person bonus? Oh,
• 1:08:45
  yes. Uh, we give away three
• 1:08:47
  gambling tokens. They're basically the equivalent
• 1:08:50
  of one gold, but they must be used in the machines for,
• 1:08:53
  uh, any newcomers that come, uh, to the casino.
• 1:08:56
  Neil, what's the catch?
• 1:08:59
  Well, they can't be used elsewhere. You can
• 1:09:02
  take them from the casino, but they can't be used to purchase
• 1:09:05
  things. Like I said, they're only worth the equivalent of a gold within the
• 1:09:08
  machines or the gambling here at the
• 1:09:10
  casino. You can't use them outside.
• 1:09:13
  Worthless. Yes, essentially,
• 1:09:16
  yes, outside of the casino.
• 1:09:19
  Well, hand them over. Oh, you're all
• 1:09:21
  newcomers. Except you, sir. I'm roll
• 1:09:24
  sauce. Okay.
• 1:09:28
  Is that an emotional state or a
• 1:09:33
  oh. Anyways, uh, she
• 1:09:35
  hands, uh, all of you except for lil sauce, uh,
• 1:09:38
  three sort of wooden, uh,
• 1:09:40
  tokens that, uh,
• 1:09:43
  have some logo and
• 1:09:46
  insignia from the casino on it. Uh, Maki takes the
• 1:09:48
  wooden token and bites it
• 1:09:51
  to make sure it's real. It
• 1:09:54
  hurts. Uh, how hard are you biting it? Because he might
• 1:09:57
  just break it. Oh, no,
• 1:09:59
  you leave it. You definitely oh, yeah, that's
• 1:10:02
  right. You have a beak
• 1:10:05
  19. Don't you snap it in
• 1:10:08
  half with your beak.
• 1:10:11
  Hey, this one's false to you.
• 1:10:14
  We're trying to pull you. Oh, yeah?
• 1:10:17
  What kind of stun is this? Give me the coin, I'll give you
• 1:10:20
  a new one. I, uh, give it back.
• 1:10:23
  All right, she gives you a fresh one that's not
• 1:10:25
  split in half.
• 1:10:30
  Please. I
• 1:10:33
  don't know if this one's not faulty.
• 1:10:37
  I won't give you another one. You say it's like
• 1:10:39
  you have it against your beak.
• 1:10:43
  In my beak? Sideways.
• 1:10:49
  Shall we go? And I'll give you ten
• 1:10:52
  gold, and if you can triple it, you can keep it.
• 1:10:55
  If not, why would we double it? You
• 1:10:58
  lose. You got to work for me.
• 1:11:01
  All right, deal. Okay,
• 1:11:05
  that's the gold. Pick a machine. All right, now
• 1:11:08
  I got to do to win some money. Come on, boys.
• 1:11:11
  So you step into, uh, the gambling hall, and you
• 1:11:14
  see a variety of different options, uh,
• 1:11:16
  immediately inside to, uh, it's just kind
• 1:11:19
  of a lobby area, but the further you go, you see there's a back
• 1:11:22
  room that has a whole bunch of the slot
• 1:11:24
  machines. They are these sort of steampunk metal
• 1:11:27
  machines with simple, like, cogs and such
• 1:11:30
  inside of it. It looks like your typical
• 1:11:33
  slot machine from the outside, just with kind of, like I said, a
• 1:11:36
  steampunk theme to it. Um, but given
• 1:11:39
  the world that this Dungeons and Dragons is set in, it's a
• 1:11:42
  simplified machine. It's not electronic. You pull the
• 1:11:44
  thing, uh, the wheels spin, that all have the
• 1:11:46
  different symbols, uh, on them. And if you
• 1:11:49
  land on a triple of, uh,
• 1:11:52
  symbols, then you would win money, just like with normal
• 1:11:55
  slots. Machine. Is that it? No. Uh, to
• 1:11:58
  your left, you see a guard
• 1:12:01
  standing actually, it's a staff attendant,
• 1:12:04
  and he is standing in front of a doorway that's open. You can kind of see inside.
• 1:12:07
  And it looks like there might be a couple of small meeting areas
• 1:12:10
  inside of there. Um, to
• 1:12:12
  your right, there's a long
• 1:12:15
  hallway that leads down with rooms on either
• 1:12:18
  side to the left or right. And peering inside of those
• 1:12:21
  rooms, you'll see a variety of different tables
• 1:12:24
  with some more table based gambling, uh, games
• 1:12:27
  inside.
• 1:12:30
  Is that it? Wait, what was the guard guarding? A
• 1:12:33
  meeting room? Yeah, uh, I'm
• 1:12:36
  guessing where they do m private stuff. And then
• 1:12:38
  finally gambling or the high stakes
• 1:12:41
  gamblers. Uh, finally, the last thing that you see
• 1:12:44
  is about midway down that hallway on the left side,
• 1:12:47
  you see another guard standing there, guarding what seems to
• 1:12:50
  be a room, uh, labeled booth. Private
• 1:12:53
  booths. Okay. You
• 1:12:56
  hear some
• 1:12:59
  type of music coming from there? New sound.
• 1:13:02
  It seems kind of dark. Yeah, I need to
• 1:13:04
  click that later. Um, question.
• 1:13:08
  Is there anywhere that
• 1:13:11
  looks like a, uh, place where people would
• 1:13:14
  perform? Because we were told about performers. Yeah, if
• 1:13:17
  we don't see that, then I guess it'd be the private booth. Oh, yeah,
• 1:13:20
  no, definitely, uh, you would definitely assume that in
• 1:13:23
  the rooms with the tables, there's probably a lot of
• 1:13:26
  people or there's probably somebody performing in one of
• 1:13:29
  them. Um, the area with the machines
• 1:13:32
  is a bit loud and so they probably don't put any kind
• 1:13:35
  of performers in there because it would just make
• 1:13:38
  meeting room to the left of us. Not in the meeting rooms, but
• 1:13:41
  no, there's some larger rooms that just have the
• 1:13:44
  table games in them. Like things that you play with a
• 1:13:47
  person. Yeah, it's just
• 1:13:50
  one of those rooms would be a performance room stage,
• 1:13:53
  probably in that open space. There
• 1:13:56
  are three large ones and one small
• 1:13:59
  one. And I'm just going to say that you guys walk down the hall
• 1:14:02
  and see what's in each of these. That's right. On
• 1:14:05
  the right side, you see two different, very
• 1:14:08
  large, wide rooms. Those all have somebody
• 1:14:11
  playing inside of them. And then at the very end, you
• 1:14:14
  see a lot of wealthy people that are inside of this
• 1:14:16
  one sort, uh, of larger, but not quite as large room. It
• 1:14:19
  has a bar in the center of it. There's an attendant at this
• 1:14:22
  bar. And you see a lot of well dressed people playing
• 1:14:25
  games at the various tables around there. There are a couple of
• 1:14:27
  machines. Um, but there's also an
• 1:14:30
  individual, he's playing music there on the
• 1:14:33
  left side, you pass the private
• 1:14:36
  booths and there are two sort of, uh one
• 1:14:39
  is a private, larger gambling room. Um,
• 1:14:42
  it's just blocked off. And then one of
• 1:14:45
  them is open and it has one large round
• 1:14:47
  table and then a bunch of chairs that sit around it. There's an
• 1:14:50
  attendant in the middle of this table who's kind of like dealing out
• 1:14:53
  cards and things like that.
• 1:14:56
  This is kind of the higher limit room. Guys,
• 1:14:59
  you sure you don't want to go back to one of the
• 1:15:02
  cheaper machines here?
• 1:15:04
  Cure ten gold. You can spend it however you want, but I think we
• 1:15:07
  should go back.
• 1:15:11
  Yeah, I think we should go back too.
• 1:15:14
  You have that game with the cows. We do
• 1:15:17
  have the game with the Cow.
• 1:15:20
  I love that game.
• 1:15:25
  So to give context, there's a running joke with our
• 1:15:28
  group about a one slot game at our local
• 1:15:30
  casino that we call the Cow Game that we just make
• 1:15:33
  constant jokes about and say, like, we only are going
• 1:15:36
  to the casino strictly for the Cow game.
• 1:15:42
  There's the context. So we're going to go to the Cow game.
• 1:15:45
  That is it. That is all that is.
• 1:15:49
  I know exactly where it's at. Call me.
• 1:15:53
  They have the Cow game here too. All
• 1:15:56
  right. I've heard stories. You go
• 1:15:59
  to the room with all the machines, you see a
• 1:16:01
  number of goodness sakes. You
• 1:16:04
  see a number of elderly people sitting around
• 1:16:07
  just coin, button, coin,
• 1:16:10
  button, coin. Or actually sorry, it's a lever. It's not a
• 1:16:13
  button. Coin, lever. Coin, lever. Just
• 1:16:15
  playing playing over and over again as they're walking around.
• 1:16:18
  Just watch these old people and see if any
• 1:16:21
  of them are, like, pulling coins out of, like, a cup
• 1:16:24
  from they have a cup to the side of them. Oh,
• 1:16:27
  absolutely. They do. Yeah. They have little cups.
• 1:16:30
  Okay.
• 1:16:33
  Uh, he's going to grab Keto
• 1:16:39
  walking down the, uh,
• 1:16:42
  aisle, and we're going to stop by one of the
• 1:16:45
  older ladies who's kind of, like, on the edge. Okay.
• 1:16:48
  And he's going to be stop
• 1:16:51
  near
• 1:16:57
  you're more charismatic. You can do the talking. I'll do the, uh
• 1:16:59
  yeah, okay. Yeah. He just gives Keto, like, a little wink,
• 1:17:02
  and he says, like, okay. And he walks up to the lady,
• 1:17:05
  and he goes to the left of her office of the cup, and
• 1:17:08
  he sets his hand down just on the
• 1:17:11
  side of her shoulder. Okay. And he's going to go like, hey,
• 1:17:14
  what game? But as he sets his hand down on her, his
• 1:17:17
  hand shocks her with his
• 1:17:19
  staticity, goes, oh, sorry.
• 1:17:22
  I'm so sorry. I haven't
• 1:17:25
  felt that since he resuscitated me with the
• 1:17:28
  defibritor. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to
• 1:17:31
  do it. Um what are you doing here,
• 1:17:34
  you dang goblin? I thought it was the
• 1:17:37
  cow game. I'm sorry. God,
• 1:17:40
  this dirty, filthy goblin is
• 1:17:43
  dirty, am I? And he's going to,
• 1:17:46
  like, look at it. She grabs a cane and she just,
• 1:17:50
  get away from me, you filthy goblin.
• 1:17:53
  Uh, all right.
• 1:17:56
  But no, he's definitely playing this up because she's
• 1:17:59
  going to crawl, lay on the ground, and grab her
• 1:18:02
  leg. No, please. I mean,
• 1:18:11
  I swear, you just
• 1:18:13
  slamy hands away from my
• 1:18:18
  slowly set down
• 1:18:21
  his arms on the ground and drag himself, but
• 1:18:24
  very slow away. And he's going,
• 1:18:27
  I'm so sorry.
• 1:18:30
  Filthy monster. Um, uh get
• 1:18:33
  away from me. I
• 1:18:36
  will kill you.
• 1:18:41
  I will rid our land of your
• 1:18:43
  filth
• 1:18:46
  is this a racist Manny
• 1:18:50
  position? And just starts crying. We should have
• 1:18:53
  wiped your
• 1:18:56
  anyway, while all this is happening, can Nick roll
• 1:18:59
  sleight of hand? Yes, absolutely, Nick. I will
• 1:19:02
  give
• 1:19:10
  fatty lumpkins. I'll do that again.
• 1:19:13
  While this is all happening, can fatty, or rather
• 1:19:16
  keto, roll slight of hand? Yes, fatty lumpkins. If
• 1:19:19
  you could give me a slight hand, I will give you advantage since you are being
• 1:19:22
  very obviously helped by
• 1:19:24
  your friend.
• 1:19:27
  Don't take that one. I'll take the first. 119
• 1:19:30
  19. I was worried your slight
• 1:19:33
  hand was going to be, like, negative. I'm like, oh, jeez. I
• 1:19:36
  was like, I figured the fighter would have decent
• 1:19:38
  dexterity. You shove your hand
• 1:19:41
  deep into you feeling confident having seen
• 1:19:44
  this incredible display put on by your friend. You feel confident
• 1:19:47
  enough to jam your hand deep into this
• 1:19:50
  cup and withdraw eight gold coins from
• 1:19:53
  inside. Where do you go after?
• 1:19:56
  I'm going to look around me, see if anyone saw
• 1:19:59
  me. Nobody seems to have noticed. Um,
• 1:20:02
  most people are either focused solely on their
• 1:20:04
  game no on their game, and
• 1:20:07
  then a couple of people have actually stopped playing their
• 1:20:10
  game to look at the craziness going on with
• 1:20:13
  this elderly woman and the goblin holding her
• 1:20:16
  leg. Give them a left hook
• 1:20:19
  and slip into the shadow. Yeah, I'll give them
• 1:20:23
  the left hook.
• 1:20:29
  Well, I'm going to actually give her a minus one. Does an eleven hit
• 1:20:32
  you? Does an eleven hit me? Yeah. No, it does not. It does
• 1:20:34
  not. Okay. She's just okay. And as I'm, like,
• 1:20:37
  sprawling around on the ground, I'm going to try
• 1:20:40
  and craftily start
• 1:20:43
  flailing my arms as she's whacking me, because
• 1:20:46
  if there's a person next to me, I want to knock their cup
• 1:20:48
  over if they have it on the ground and just have
• 1:20:51
  gold just spew everywhere. Okay. Do me a
• 1:20:54
  flail check. Let's
• 1:20:57
  do, uh, athletics, I guess. Or acrobatics.
• 1:21:00
  Or acrobatics. Oh, if it's acrobatics.
• 1:21:03
  Okay. Athletics is zero.
• 1:21:06
  Acrobatics is a plus nine.
• 1:21:12
  Acrobatic, whichever one
• 1:21:15
  sounds the closest to what I'm doing, because I'm definitely
• 1:21:17
  well, here's what I'll say. Just playing up
• 1:21:20
  my the more
• 1:21:23
  I think about it, acrobatics or performance does make
• 1:21:26
  more sense in this situation. You're not trying to grab anything. I'm not trying
• 1:21:29
  to grab it. I'm just trying to knock a cup over. Yeah, you're trying to make it
• 1:21:32
  look like it's part of me flailing around the ground because
• 1:21:35
  I'm getting hit. I'm going to say acrobatics just because of the
• 1:21:38
  fact that you are trying to reach up and get the
• 1:21:41
  cup knocked off of their little okay. So, like, kind of stand up,
• 1:21:43
  and you're going to have to do, like, another
• 1:21:46
  okay. 25. Holy. Okay. Well, yeah, you
• 1:21:49
  knock, like, three cups onto the ground,
• 1:21:52
  but as they hit the ground and the
• 1:21:55
  coins go flying, all the elderly people
• 1:21:58
  here turn around and start diving
• 1:22:01
  for the free money that's hitting. I'm going to
• 1:22:03
  fall onto the pile of money that
• 1:22:06
  has now been created and start groveling.
• 1:22:12
  And I'm just, like, acting like I'm just in pain.
• 1:22:15
  Feels like a weird sex, but as
• 1:22:18
  I'm doing this, I'm, like, pushing the money
• 1:22:21
  into my pocket.
• 1:22:24
  Guy in that money. What are those? Money
• 1:22:27
  containers? I'm pretending
• 1:22:30
  to be hurt, uh, because I'm injured because she was whacking me,
• 1:22:33
  so I'm like my back.
• 1:22:37
  I know I'm asking for something stupid, but do a slight hand to see
• 1:22:40
  how much money you can grab. 1717. All
• 1:22:43
  right, I'll give you a D twelve.
• 1:22:47
  That's an additional six coins
• 1:22:50
  you're able to load into your pocket.
• 1:22:53
  And then as I'm laying down doing this with my gravel stuff, uh,
• 1:22:56
  I'm going to notice that pack of people are just diving in this pile.
• 1:22:59
  And I see it, like, the perfect opportunity to just run away. So he
• 1:23:02
  just kind of just kind of stands up and goes
• 1:23:05
  off running behind the slot machine
• 1:23:08
  and then kind of, like, eyes around to try and find his group.
• 1:23:11
  Okay. But he kind of heads, like, opposite and then
• 1:23:14
  goes the wide way around to find them so that he doesn't walk back
• 1:23:17
  through the it's not a very big room, I will say.
• 1:23:20
  But you do get into I'm just saying, I don't turn around and
• 1:23:23
  just walk right back through the group of old
• 1:23:26
  people. No, you're going, like, the wide range way around.
• 1:23:30
  Maybe even regroups with Keto is on the side
• 1:23:32
  or something. And of course, the old lady that you were harassing
• 1:23:35
  and a couple of the other ones are all shouting
• 1:23:39
  as they just beat into m the crowd with their purses and
• 1:23:42
  such. But, uh, yeah, you're able to
• 1:23:44
  regroup. I, uh, would assume most of the people in
• 1:23:47
  this group have probably stood outside of this little
• 1:23:50
  hall. Um, those
• 1:23:52
  three did whatever they wanted. They could, uh, just us, too.
• 1:23:55
  Okay, fair point. Fair point. Yeah. That a lot of the old
• 1:23:58
  people were distracted by the flying coins. I would like
• 1:24:01
  to attempt to grab one or two cups from
• 1:24:04
  the distracted. So you were just watching,
• 1:24:08
  just staring, learning sound. Yeah.
• 1:24:12
  Do a stealth roll at advantage. Learned a lot of fun
• 1:24:15
  words. That lady said
• 1:24:20
  you might think that that's what you call goblins.
• 1:24:27
  Oh, interesting. Uh both
• 1:24:29
  19. Really? Wow. That's impressive. All
• 1:24:32
  right. Yeah. You're able to grab, uh, three
• 1:24:35
  cups of coins. Three cups.
• 1:24:38
  Three cups. It's a question of how much. So the whole
• 1:24:40
  point of this thing was to
• 1:24:45
  get me and
• 1:24:47
  Keto to stealthily get money, and then you just come
• 1:24:50
  out of nowhere and just grab three cups.
• 1:24:54
  You grab three cups with a total of 25
• 1:24:56
  coins.
• 1:25:00
  It's all about how you went about it. It's because
• 1:25:03
  birds are attracted to shiny things. I am a
• 1:25:06
  pro. I like this shiny metal.
• 1:25:09
  Yeah, I didn't give any of them the, uh, starting gold amount
• 1:25:12
  that the player handbook told us to give them. They just
• 1:25:15
  stole about that amount when they went to the first casino.
• 1:25:17
  We've now tripled our 30
• 1:25:20
  gold. So look at this. Got
• 1:25:23
  them. Think about that. That's a good point. This is
• 1:25:26
  great
• 1:25:29
  reconvene. And be like, I'm going
• 1:25:31
  to hang out with Keto and Dex,
• 1:25:34
  and I'm going to be like, okay, guys, so
• 1:25:37
  how much money did you get? Keto? Has anyone seen
• 1:25:40
  Maki? Is he by the bar? Where is Maki? Feather
• 1:25:42
  McGregor is leading me to the
• 1:25:45
  cowgy. Okay,
• 1:25:50
  he's going to blow our 30.
• 1:25:54
  Who is spilling jello all over my
• 1:25:57
  cabinet. And
• 1:26:00
  sure enough, there's an old man sitting there, and you
• 1:26:03
  see him pull the handle, and it goes
• 1:26:07
  as all three of the things spin. And
• 1:26:10
  as they stop, you hear
• 1:26:14
  and he goes, oh, dang it, I didn't win
• 1:26:17
  again. And he goes to put another
• 1:26:20
  coin into the slot.
• 1:26:24
  You old coop. You're making a mess of
• 1:26:27
  my favorite machine.
• 1:26:30
  Who said that? And he shuffles in
• 1:26:33
  his chair, and he eventually turns around and he sees you, he's like,
• 1:26:36
  what are you doing here, uh, feather brain?
• 1:26:42
  I said, I grabbed him by
• 1:26:45
  the
• 1:26:49
  I said, you're spilling jello all over
• 1:26:51
  my favorite cake. Ah.
• 1:26:55
  As I grab him by the collar, I want
• 1:26:58
  to try to grab his buffet
• 1:27:00
  token.
• 1:27:03
  We are all expecting money.
• 1:27:08
  Roll, a slight of hand there. You try to
• 1:27:10
  steal this man's buffet badge right off his
• 1:27:13
  person.
• 1:27:18
  Okay, here, hold on. That is
• 1:27:21
  not a D 20. This is the D 20.
• 1:27:26
  He says, hey, you get over me. And he shakes you
• 1:27:29
  off, and he says,
• 1:27:32
  what do you think you're doing?
• 1:27:36
  What do you think you're doing now? I'm just playing
• 1:27:39
  the game. Don't make me call the guards on you.
• 1:27:42
  Your dang feather brain. I feel like I'm walking
• 1:27:45
  over. You are there. Yeah, I grab them.
• 1:27:47
  Come on. What are you doing? Uh, you guys got in here on my
• 1:27:50
  word. What's going on? Are you guys going to do my
• 1:27:53
  channel? Feather heads better get out of here.
• 1:27:56
  He's, uh, making the leather. The lever all
• 1:27:59
  sticky on my let him make it
• 1:28:01
  sticky. It's everybody's favorite game. Yeah, well, at
• 1:28:04
  least I wouldn't be getting fleas and ticks all over
• 1:28:07
  it. There's, like, seven more of cow games over here. You
• 1:28:10
  haven't even looked over here. You just hear in the distance.
• 1:28:15
  Let's go. Are you guys going to do this challenge or
• 1:28:18
  what? I would like to walk up to him.
• 1:28:21
  This is what we show him. One token and just
• 1:28:23
  say
• 1:28:29
  it's.
• 1:28:32
  Congratulations. But here's my ten tokens. Who wants to
• 1:28:35
  be the one to play? I take them from your hand. All
• 1:28:37
  ten. Uh, it's time to play the game. And you guys
• 1:28:40
  have agreed, if you don't triple your money, if you don't have 30
• 1:28:43
  gold, I believe I've tripled it without even touching
• 1:28:46
  a coin for clarity. How much money you get,
• 1:28:49
  Keto? No, you guys got to put it in the machine
• 1:28:52
  without stealing it. What do you mean, steal? We
• 1:28:55
  triple it. What happens? Uh, we just want some money over
• 1:28:57
  there. You get to keep it. If you don't, you work for me for
• 1:29:00
  a day or two. We want some money
• 1:29:03
  over there. Not with my money, though.
• 1:29:06
  Who said it had to be your money? I did, and you agreed
• 1:29:09
  to it. No, you said triple the amount of your money.
• 1:29:12
  I said with my money. Well, we tripled
• 1:29:15
  it, I think. I don't know how much you get. Dex,
• 1:29:22
  could you hold up fingers or
• 1:29:25
  something? Okay,
• 1:29:29
  that said 25. 25
• 1:29:31
  52
• 1:29:34
  wait, which one is it? 25 52.
• 1:29:36
  Five. I was right.
• 1:29:39
  That was big dreaming, though.
• 1:29:42
  20. Uh, five, eight, six I think that's more
• 1:29:45
  than 30 deals. Uh, up
• 1:29:49
  maki's got his money, but he looks at his hands and
• 1:29:52
  realizes that his clawed hands and realizes
• 1:29:55
  he only has, like, four fingers on each.
• 1:30:00
  Oh, that's kind of weird.
• 1:30:03
  Can I reach over?
• 1:30:06
  He doesn't know how to use his hands. If they're not going to play my game,
• 1:30:09
  I'm going to pop the money out of his hand. And what would I roll for
• 1:30:12
  that? To pop the money out of his hand. Kenneth, let's go.
• 1:30:15
  Yeah, uh, do a slight of
• 1:30:17
  hand, I suppose.
• 1:30:20
  And then, uh,
• 1:30:24
  two plus six. Eight.
• 1:30:27
  Dave, if you just want to roll against that.
• 1:30:30
  They do indeed have five fingers.
• 1:30:34
  Uh, he quickly clutches his hand just as you go to slap
• 1:30:37
  it. Are you going to gamble the money? You're just short
• 1:30:40
  fingers. So some of the official
• 1:30:43
  Dungeons and Dragons pictures do have five fingers. Some of them
• 1:30:46
  only have, like, three or four. Um, so I guess it's up to
• 1:30:49
  you. It's up to you. Would you like you got four fingers? Do you
• 1:30:52
  want to be said? I'm going to go more the
• 1:30:55
  ninja Turtles route. Yes, but
• 1:30:57
  an extra one. Four
• 1:31:00
  fingers and a thumb. Okay.
• 1:31:04
  Nice. All right, so, um,
• 1:31:07
  little, uh, sauce is getting frustrated that you're, uh,
• 1:31:10
  not gambling his money. That's a weird thing
• 1:31:13
  to say, but we want to gamble.
• 1:31:16
  How'd you get that money? What? How'd you get your
• 1:31:19
  money? I told you, the machine is over there. Let him gamble. Cow machine
• 1:31:22
  right here. They're free tokens
• 1:31:25
  they got, but you still
• 1:31:28
  huh? We're professional.
• 1:31:31
  It's very OD that you all got lucky.
• 1:31:34
  What? Or this isn't at the point of a casino.
• 1:31:37
  With your one token, you always lose. Well, they each had
• 1:31:40
  three tokens. That
• 1:31:43
  equal don't ask me. No, they had
• 1:31:46
  three that were a gold. Each token represents
• 1:31:49
  a gold. That can only be three gold. That's still not very much. I mean, I'm
• 1:31:52
  at six gold, so I doubled. He got eight.
• 1:31:55
  The real one you should be asking is Dex, who got 25?
• 1:31:58
  I don't know how he did it, but we just played.
• 1:32:02
  Did you steal them? Allegedly.
• 1:32:06
  He doesn't like the accusation. Allegedly. All right, well,
• 1:32:09
  I guess you guys won the challenge then, huh? Well,
• 1:32:12
  he still got bet he can do what he wants with it.
• 1:32:14
  Now, you guys have already won the challenge. Watch him
• 1:32:17
  play your money. Get your money now. Go
• 1:32:20
  ahead and play it. All right. Don't got to tell
• 1:32:23
  me twice. The cow
• 1:32:26
  sounds beckon you to the machine.
• 1:32:29
  You got to know how to work these old
• 1:32:31
  girls. Uh, as you get closer, you
• 1:32:34
  realize that, uh, there's one machine in particular where the
• 1:32:37
  design of the machine is a cow. It
• 1:32:40
  just has a hole in the side of it where
• 1:32:43
  the spinning parts are with the display. And then you
• 1:32:46
  realize that the handle that you pull, the crank
• 1:32:49
  pull is the tail of the cow. I thought you were going to say
• 1:32:51
  and all of the coins really interesting. All of the
• 1:32:54
  coins come out of utters. Yes,
• 1:32:58
  the coins are coming out of utters. Well, there's currently no
• 1:33:01
  coins coming out of it because nobody's sitting at this one, it looks like it
• 1:33:04
  must be an older model. It's a little like, worn out, you can
• 1:33:06
  tell and such like that. You can also tell that they, uh,
• 1:33:09
  definitely left this design concept. They like the
• 1:33:12
  cow theme, but they didn't like the design of the cow. Too
• 1:33:15
  many moving parts. It's true. It's weird.
• 1:33:22
  I don't know how this machine works. I just start
• 1:33:24
  putting all my coins in. Oh, all ten? Just all
• 1:33:27
  ten in one go, plus the three.
• 1:33:30
  Yeah. All
• 1:33:33
  right, so this is how this is going to work. You're going to need a show.
• 1:33:36
  It you mean business. You're going to need a whole bunch of D
• 1:33:39
  sixes.
• 1:33:44
  I think we should be all. Okay, so what you're going to do is
• 1:33:47
  you're going to take three of those D sixes and you're going to roll
• 1:33:50
  them. And those are going to be your top row
• 1:33:52
  of, uh, what the thing spins, then you'll roll
• 1:33:55
  another three. That'll be your second row. And then you'll roll another three,
• 1:33:58
  and that'll be your third row. You can place them however you want as
• 1:34:01
  you roll them, but once you've placed them and you start to roll
• 1:34:04
  the next ones, you cannot move them at all. Uh,
• 1:34:07
  you're trying to create a three of a kind. Or a run.
• 1:34:10
  Or a run.
• 1:34:13
  Three sixes. Wow. Right off the
• 1:34:15
  bat. Okay, keep going. You
• 1:34:18
  get all, uh, sixes. You hit the jackpot. What
• 1:34:21
  I tell you? I see another
• 1:34:24
  six. Okay, well, you can't create a run with that,
• 1:34:28
  but you can create vertical ones, too. So what'd you get on this
• 1:34:30
  second one, Dave? Uh, two
• 1:34:33
  six and, uh, a five. All right. Two diagonals.
• 1:34:37
  Yes. Okay. All right.
• 1:34:40
  You need to get more six, and there are two sixes.
• 1:34:46
  What do we got on this one? Two, fives and a one.
• 1:34:49
  All right, well, we definitely got the three
• 1:34:52
  sixes on the top row altogether. So that's
• 1:34:55
  a three of a kind. Um,
• 1:34:59
  three.
• 1:35:04
  This looks
• 1:35:05
  funny.
• 1:35:13
  Holy cow.
• 1:35:20
  All right, I got you. I got it. All
• 1:35:23
  right, so as you pull the
• 1:35:26
  lever and the numbers ding, ding, ding six, six
• 1:35:30
  come up across the top row. Ironic that it
• 1:35:32
  happened in a casino. All right. Wow. I was part of a
• 1:35:35
  cult. Um, all of
• 1:35:38
  a sudden, uh, the cow
• 1:35:41
  bells begin turing
• 1:35:44
  and, uh, the cow goes, M.
• 1:35:49
  Actually, it's just like a term for winning, I guess.
• 1:35:52
  And, uh, all of a sudden, the utter mechanics
• 1:35:55
  begin to move as they start spitting out gold
• 1:35:58
  coins. A lot of the other people within the room all
• 1:36:01
  turn towards this machine, all going, whoa.
• 1:36:04
  And you watch as hundreds of
• 1:36:07
  coins start. Hundreds? A couple hundred. Sorry,
• 1:36:10
  I keep using poor use of words.
• 1:36:12
  234 coins spit out of the
• 1:36:15
  machine
• 1:36:18
  from just a three of a
• 1:36:21
  kind, from a single
• 1:36:23
  row of three of a kind, from sixes,
• 1:36:26
  explicitly. Oh,
• 1:36:29
  three of a kind of sixes. Yeah. Well, shoot, I want
• 1:36:32
  to try now. I think we all want to try now.
• 1:36:34
  Uh, just as you're saying this and you're collecting the rest of your coins,
• 1:36:37
  a guard comes up behind you and he says, I've had
• 1:36:40
  reports that you group has been causing
• 1:36:43
  some trouble. You're going to need to come
• 1:36:46
  with me. I look at him and I say,
• 1:36:49
  uh, erect?
• 1:36:52
  Oh, God.
• 1:36:57
  Allegedly. Allegedly. Okay,
• 1:37:02
  uh, I got some witnesses that have pointed
• 1:37:05
  you out. Specifically, he turns around and you see the
• 1:37:08
  old ladies. Specifically, um, the one that you
• 1:37:11
  had grabbed her leg. She's looking at me? Yeah, she's looking at
• 1:37:14
  you. And then a couple of other old ladies that are just,
• 1:37:17
  like, pointing at your group in general.
• 1:37:20
  I'm going to direct it all at me.
• 1:37:23
  I just went over to ask her what game it was, and then
• 1:37:26
  she started feeding me with her game. Sir, I'm going to have
• 1:37:29
  to ask you and your group to leave immediately. They
• 1:37:32
  didn't do anything. I mean, I didn't do anything.
• 1:37:35
  I got beat by an old lady. You should be take I
• 1:37:38
  should be pressing charges on her. Sir,
• 1:37:41
  don't make me have to get violent. What do you mean get
• 1:37:43
  violent? You need I already got beat by an old
• 1:37:47
  lady. And he pulls out a
• 1:37:49
  large more violent than sledgehammer. Uh,
• 1:37:53
  and he says, well, you're about to get beat again.
• 1:37:56
  I'll leave if you guys want. I didn't think
• 1:37:59
  I can a goblin come here and gamble a
• 1:38:02
  ah. They're just jealous of the
• 1:38:04
  professionals. Professionals?
• 1:38:07
  I was just watching this guy play the cow game, and he starts to
• 1:38:10
  kind of, like, push you towards the exit
• 1:38:13
  of this room. I guess I'll leave. Can I see
• 1:38:16
  a cash out area? Um, well, I
• 1:38:19
  mean, like, the coins when they come out, they are like actual
• 1:38:22
  gold. Okay, well, I still only have the
• 1:38:24
  tokens. Can I cash out
• 1:38:27
  tokens? Uh, no tokens. They only
• 1:38:30
  go into the machine. Right. Or
• 1:38:33
  any of the is he just making me leave?
• 1:38:37
  Standing within your group and pushing your group
• 1:38:40
  to leave, it seems like most of it is directed
• 1:38:43
  towards you. I'm trying to play it up like,
• 1:38:47
  um, not des.
• 1:38:49
  Um maki maki didn't do it.
• 1:38:52
  None of them did anything. Just take me.
• 1:38:55
  I'm just watching them play. I need you all out of
• 1:38:58
  here. Why? Move. Um,
• 1:39:00
  it or lose it. The one old
• 1:39:03
  man shaking his jello.
• 1:39:08
  I still have the three tokens.
• 1:39:11
  Well, I don't know what to tell you.
• 1:39:15
  I got to play a game to use them first.
• 1:39:18
  You need to leave. But they're
• 1:39:20
  worthless out of you. That's what you guys kept telling me.
• 1:39:23
  Yes, I understand if you want to leave them at the front
• 1:39:26
  desk, you can do so
• 1:39:31
  what I do wrong? You
• 1:39:33
  assaulted an old lady.
• 1:39:36
  And then he points at Keto and he's like, he was
• 1:39:39
  involved with assaulting the old lady.
• 1:39:42
  And this guy is
• 1:39:45
  pulling some kind of scams at the machines.
• 1:39:48
  Hey, I'm a professional. Yeah,
• 1:39:51
  uh, professional at, uh, stealing.
• 1:39:55
  Take it easy. Put the billy
• 1:39:58
  club away. People not supposed to
• 1:40:01
  win here. You, uh, come in and
• 1:40:04
  you cause a ruckus, and he's with you, and all of a sudden
• 1:40:06
  he's winning. I mean, I don't know how he's doing
• 1:40:09
  it, but he must be tampering with the m
• 1:40:12
  mechanisms inside the machine. Little soft. Do you
• 1:40:15
  ever win here? Occasionally.
• 1:40:19
  That's what I thought.
• 1:40:23
  Well, that was a fun casino adventure.
• 1:40:26
  Play one game and get kicked out.
• 1:40:31
  How much did you say your, uh,
• 1:40:33
  stand makes? It
• 1:40:36
  varies. Right now it's dry rub season, but next week
• 1:40:39
  it's back to sauce season. I can
• 1:40:42
  sell upwards of 50 tubs of sauce a day.
• 1:40:45
  Whole tubs, whole sauce. Well,
• 1:40:47
  considering it's, uh, dry rub
• 1:40:50
  season, how about I give you
• 1:40:53
  these 30 gold, triple
• 1:40:56
  what you gave us, and,
• 1:40:59
  uh, work with us for a few days?
• 1:41:03
  You can keep your gold, and I'll work with you anyways. How about
• 1:41:06
  that? Wow. I see
• 1:41:10
  how our luck is. He sees we're professional.
• 1:41:13
  I have enough gold on my own. Then it's dry rub. I
• 1:41:16
  don't need your gold. Just to clarify, I assume you guys are
• 1:41:19
  discussing this as you're being let out. That's kind
• 1:41:21
  of obvious. Okay. I don't think we want to fight a guy. All
• 1:41:24
  right. Sounds good. Yet.
• 1:41:27
  That's right. Apparently I fought an old
• 1:41:30
  lady. You don't remember that? And you
• 1:41:33
  survived. I remember getting beat by an old lady. It was
• 1:41:36
  a pretty one sided. It was very one sided. I don't know how I'm the
• 1:41:39
  one getting kicked out. Um, as you
• 1:41:42
  guys kind of did you watch the fight?
• 1:41:44
  No. What? I had
• 1:41:47
  several witnesses. I can show you my back and
• 1:41:49
  show you all the bruises I got from that lady. She said
• 1:41:53
  it was self defense. I was on the ground
• 1:41:55
  groveling. She said you grabbed her leg and
• 1:41:58
  she said you bit her. Did she show
• 1:42:01
  you the bite mark? Uh, she did.
• 1:42:04
  No, she didn't. Uh,
• 1:42:07
  well, you can still see her, and you look back and you see a
• 1:42:10
  bite mark. But granted, uh,
• 1:42:13
  this is a new body for you, but you kind of feel your teeth with
• 1:42:16
  your tongue, and they do not look like
• 1:42:19
  bite marks from well, I already know they're not
• 1:42:22
  from me, because I didn't bite her. She tries to
• 1:42:25
  put her dentures? Basically,
• 1:42:27
  yeah. She just pinched her. Or probably one
• 1:42:30
  of the others. During the whole
• 1:42:34
  no, during the
• 1:42:37
  crazy situation of everybody
• 1:42:39
  scrambling and fighting for the coins on the floor, you wonder
• 1:42:42
  if maybe somebody else had bitten her.
• 1:42:45
  She took out her own dension.
• 1:42:48
  And just as you're being let out, one of the other old
• 1:42:51
  ladies walks up and she says, excuse me, Officer, but have you
• 1:42:54
  seen my dentures? I lost them in the slatch
• 1:42:57
  room. And he's like,
• 1:43:00
  I'm dealing. With something right now. I'll help you in just a moment. She's
• 1:43:03
  like, this isn't very good customer service.
• 1:43:06
  Shouts out after on the ground.
• 1:43:11
  You don't see any in the hallway as you guys are being
• 1:43:14
  that's terrifying. Imagine a bird and
• 1:43:16
  smile. Human
• 1:43:19
  teeth. Well, we've
• 1:43:22
  talked them into existence, so it's definitely something you could
• 1:43:25
  get. Okay, so
• 1:43:28
  I guess we're light outside. All right. Uh,
• 1:43:31
  yeah, you step back outside into the sunlight, and, uh,
• 1:43:34
  the guard just kind of like he whispers
• 1:43:37
  something to the two guards that stand outside by the door.
• 1:43:40
  And they kind of just look over and,
• 1:43:43
  uh, yeah, they just kind of had their eyes, like, watching you guys
• 1:43:45
  real suspicious just in case you try anything.
• 1:43:49
  Well, that was fun. How much we'd
• 1:43:52
  make? 25. 208. Is
• 1:43:55
  that what you got? 234.
• 1:43:58
  Jeez. Uh, I find it
• 1:44:01
  funny how I got six and I'm the reason we got kicked
• 1:44:04
  out. I'm just saying it's funny that I got
• 1:44:07
  the lowest amount of money and I'm the reason
• 1:44:10
  that's what happens when you get beat by an old lady. I got
• 1:44:13
  beat metaphorically and
• 1:44:16
  physically by an old lady. They didn't give
• 1:44:19
  me a single free drink in there.
• 1:44:22
  Well, I think it's a little late for that. I guess we can just
• 1:44:25
  buy a drink now.
• 1:44:28
  There's an idea.
• 1:44:30
  Where's the bar? Yeah, I'm a little sore, so I think we
• 1:44:33
  need to nurse off these injuries. Awesome. So as you guys
• 1:44:36
  head off to find a tavern to get some drinks
• 1:44:39
  at, that, uh, is where we will end things for
• 1:44:42
  tonight. Thank you all for listening to our brand
• 1:44:45
  new series, The Criminals of Isla
• 1:44:47
  Numis. Thank you so much for listening to Criminals
• 1:44:50
  of Island Numis, a Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition
• 1:44:53
  Actual Play podcast set in a homebrew world created by
• 1:44:56
  me, Skylar Gorset. If you've been enjoying our show so
• 1:44:59
  far, be sure to, like, follow and subscribe wherever it is that you're
• 1:45:01
  streaming from, whether that be Spotify, Apple,
• 1:45:04
  Podcasts, YouTube, or anywhere else that podcasts can be
• 1:45:07
  streamed, or just check us out on our website
• 1:45:09
  sessionseroheroes.com. Additionally, if
• 1:45:12
  you enjoy coin, you Might enjoy Some of Session Zero
• 1:45:14
  Heroes other Shows such as Our Benders And Brews and
• 1:45:17
  Avatar Legends actual Play, where We Jump into The
• 1:45:20
  World of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend Of korra
• 1:45:23
  using the Avatar Legend system created by Magpie
• 1:45:26
  Games or one of our various One shots which we are currently
• 1:45:29
  coming out with, where we use a variety of games and
• 1:45:31
  TTRPG systems to tell a variety of fun, exciting,
• 1:45:34
  emotional and hilarious stories. Within our group, we
• 1:45:37
  have all sorts of other content that we highly recommend
• 1:45:40
  checking out within the SZH channel and
• 1:45:43
  more to come in the future to find out more about what
• 1:45:46
  we do at Session Zero Heroes and to keep up with a lot of the other
• 1:45:49
  content we produce and be made aware of, uh, future
• 1:45:52
  projects, shows and content. Be sure to follow us
• 1:45:55
  on social media, on Facebook, X, Instagram
• 1:45:57
  and Discord. These are all great ways to get in contact with
• 1:46:00
  our team, as well as to keep up to date with everything
• 1:46:03
  that we're creating and working on. We'd love to see you there.
• 1:46:06
  In the meantime, thank you so much for listening. And don't forget
• 1:46:09
  to stay curious. Stay heroic until we
• 1:46:12
  roll again.