Latest / Student Ministry Conversations / 279 | The Grateful Life: Leading From Gratitude | SMC Podcast
Transcript
- speaker-0: Hey, welcome back to the podcast. We are in the month of November, which means we have a new series starting for the next three weeks, including today. Because just a reminder, as we've done from the beginning, we don't do a podcast episode on the week of Thanksgiving. and so there will be three episodes this month. And the theme for this month is the idea of the grateful life. And so we are going to be looking at the idea of how great how grateful gratitude, how generosity, and how pers perspe perspective, goodness gracious, will give you an opportunity to continue in ministry even when ministry is difficult, even when ministry gives you reasons to not have those qualities, and how we should lead with those in all of our conversations. And so episode one, or at least I the first of this series is going to be the idea of leading from gratitude and not scarcity. and so we have to know how to choose gratitude even when ministry feels difficult. And the thing is is gratitude doesn't require us to ignore what our ministry lacks. It reminds us to recognize what God's already entrusted us to. And I think a lot of times we look at like what we what we're dealing with in in it I mean really, David, it's in any profession. we look at what we're dealing with and a lot of times we forget what we've been entrusted with in the process. And so I think there's a huge dynamic that we have to understand. And so I want to start out with a question a question that I think almost every youth pastor is wrestled with at some point. And that's the idea of how often do we go in and we look at our ministries and we immediately notice what's missing. And so maybe we walk into youth and the first thing we notice is the empty chairs. Maybe we were hoping for 40 students and only 23 showed up. Maybe you've spent weeks planning an event and only a handful of students register. maybe you're looking at the volunteer schedule and you realize that you're short three volunteers, which is not fun. and that is definitely one of the paths of youth pastor anxiety for sure. and so maybe you've gotten an idea where you love to do something with your students and you're really hyped and pumped about the idea, but then you just don't have the budget to do it. or you present that idea to the students and the students are like, that's lame. Like, because that happens too. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Mm-hmm. And our students want to do it and you really have no really motivation to do it because it doesn't match your core principles. Sure. and so, or maybe you've been investing in students for months and you're not seeing the kind of spiritual growth that you hoped you would see. none of those are imaginary problems. Attendance matter, volunteers matter, budgets matter, spiritual growth matters. But here's what I want us to consider, and this is kind of the main conversation for today. What happens when we la what golly, words today? What happens when what we lack becomes the primary lens through which we view our ministries? speaker-1: Burn out. speaker-0: yeah. Go go ahead, 'cause I w that that's what immediately jumped into my mind. speaker-1: that's it that's ultimately what it is. It's like what happens when you've been pouring and pouring and pouring and it and all the things that we just or that you just listed happens. You know, what happens when you've been pouring into somebody and you got really excited because it seemed like they were starting to get really bought in and then they break up and you know they're headed right back out the door and you've spent all this time. it took a long time for me to get to a point where that stopped hurting as bad. Now, I'm not gonna say that it ever went away, but there was a point where I w I would hold my value as a as a as a pastor on whether or not I could retain people. And when it felt like we would lose people for reasons that were completely out of my control. And I knew that, but there was still a part of me I was blaming myself because I didn't do something right. I didn't say something right. Maybe I didn't love them enough or whatever else like that. And and totally forgot the fact that we get these students for a season. Sometimes that's a long season and we get to see that six through twelve both grade, you know, miracle moment that we're all chasing. Yeah. Sometimes we only get for six weeks or once or, you know, whatever. And we have to be okay with what we poured into that day. Sure. And we have to give ourselves grace and forgiveness when we don't when we fail to reach that. whether that's because of something we did or something that they stopped and it had nothing to do with you. If we're hanging our hat on that, it's it's a recipe for burnout every single time. You know, and I think about all the times where I was at peak burnout. That's why. Because I was putting too much pressure on things that I could not control. And so having to find a way to let go of those things and be okay with what you did put out there and trust that the things that you and we've talked about this on the podcast, but it's trusting that the things that the seeds we've planted, the ground we've we've tilled, the water that we whatever part of the process of of a plant growing, a person growing that we're in, be okay with our role and pray for the next person that's gonna get to to have that role. And that's where we win, you know? I mean, if if I if I till the ground and Brent gets to to plant the seeds, awesome. I'm praying I I'm glad that someone gets to continue the process. It does it shouldn't matter who it is, as long as they take a step closer in their faith, we all win. speaker-0: Yeah. No, and I I think there's a huge dynamic of that. But I think the other problem is that we can become so focused on what isn't happening, that we stop recognizing what God's already doing. And I think a lot of times we see this as like we we s we look at attendance, but we we like and like we really hyper focus on that, but then we lose sight of the kids that have been faithfully attending forever. And it's like, well, they're always here, that's fine. But we're not getting new kids. And it's like, well, Jesus didn't ask you to get new kids. He asked you to disciple the ones that you have. speaker-1: And and can I just throw a little caveat in that sense? For for those of you guys who are listening that have a really small youth group, because we've both been there before. I'm still somewhat there. although I feel like I'm we've been growing quite a bit, which is really exciting. but all that to say Be really, really intentional with the group that you do have. If you've got a group of five and four are out and you only have one student that can come, don't always cancel when the majority are out because it tells that one student that is devoted and faithful, who is excited, that they're not worth your time. Yeah. We have to be so careful about that. And and I know you you you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm I'm I'm just saying please please be what's the word I'm conscious conscious of that. Like speaker-0: Especially on ministry and discipleship nights. I speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: there I the only caveat I would throw towards that is there are some events where you literally have to have a minimum amount of people to make them run. That's okay. Like you're not gonna take one kid to go play paintball or speaker-1: No. speaker-0: two kids to go play paintball. You have to have a group for stuff like that, but ministry nights, that is crucial. Yeah. Do not cancel ministry if only a couple show up because those are the kids that wanna be there. speaker-1: Yeah. And they're they're willing to listen. and you've got a pretty captive audience at that point. If there's only a couple of people, you get to go deep with those two people and look at it like a one-on-one mentorship and that's okay. And I say one on one. You and your adults that are there. that's a pretty cool thing. You get an opportunity to really dive in. And what I like to do on on Nights where we're lower, I'm like this I I remind them, number one, I we are so grateful that you are here. Talk about having that sort of attitude of gratitude, which sounds like a late nineties speaker-0: Captain Planet episode. speaker-1: Well that too, but I was gonna say more like the what it was it, the TBC like Turner Broadcast Network, this is the hour of power with with James Cameron or whatever. And we're gonna talk anyway. The attitude of gratitude. With David Brun. You must have an attitude of gratitude. Anyway, I guess no, it'd be more like that southern like Now listen here, you gotta have that aptitude gratitude if you're gonna No, okay. I gotta stop. I'm gonna this is this is only gonna get worse. This is only gonna get worse. I'm on Please forgive me. Please forgive me. Yeah, it's fine. where was I going with this? I think it's really important those moments to have to take that group and say thank you so much for being here and being faithful. to to show up and to to learn and grow. And in those moments I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna reward this. And and and it can look a bunch of different ways. And you don't have to spend money to reward them. You can say, hey I wanna take I wanna take an extra 10 to 15 minutes tonight, since we're here, and just ask you, hey, what are some events that you would really like to do? What are some things that you would like to you showed up, you're faithful, you continue to be part of this. Yeah. So what are some things? Like let's allow them to have a voice in those moments. And they go, Man, this is really cool. And then essentially I've I've had them like plan whole events and they're like they get really excited and they invite all their friends, and then then you know, when that event is super successful, and all their friends showed up. They're like, Well, this is exciting. We got to keep doing this. We got to keep inviting. And I'm like, that's taking what could have been a negative in the in the perspective of we didn't have enough, woe is me. I'm not doing you know, whatever. Instead, saying, Hey, I'm gonna invest heavily in the students that are here and let them invest in the people, let them go get the people that weren't here. speaker-0: Sure. Yeah. And it's No, and I think other I think the other dynamic is like, you said, celebrate. It's totally okay. And this is what I've done in the past when I've had small groups is like when when it's reasonable. I when I say small group is like you plan for something and two or three kids show up. Yeah. 'cause obviously there's a limitation to how many this makes like feasible. But there's been plenty of times where I'm just like, Hey, I I totally have a lesson tonight and we're gonna do the lesson, but we're gonna go to the ice cream shop and I'm gonna just do the lesson and we're gonna grab some ice cream and Or something of that nature. Yeah. And the kids are like, What? We get ice cream? What? Like speaker-1: Well why do we get ice cream? speaker-0: So but there's there's a hundred and di w different ways that you can do that. it's it's important to do because I mean at the end of the day, like you're you're just trying to build relationships with those kids and you're trying to make them feel special for being there when other people decided not to or couldn't make it. Yeah. and so the thing is is like we I think a lot of times though, in these situations, we get so focused on what isn't happening, we stop recognizing what God's already doing. and we can be so concerned with the students who aren't showing up that we stop appreciating the students who are. And I think we just talked about that. but we can become so frustrated about volunteers that we don't have, we forget to sh encourage the ones that show up faithfully every week. we can be so focused on the ministry we wish we had. and begin to resent the ministry that God's entrusted us to. And that's where gratitude becomes more than a seasonal con a conversation or a seasonal conviction. It becomes a leadership issue. And so this month, like I said, we're talking about gratitude, generosity, and perspective. and I think it's important that we begin with ourselves, because if we're going to teach students to recognize God's faithfulness, we have to be willing to recognize it in our own lives and ministries too. And so just a couple questions to throw out there and let you ponder on is, what's something in your current ministry that you wish you did have more of? Have you ever realized that frustration over what was missing affected how you lead? And then what do youth pastors most commonly compare between ministries? And then how do we acknowledge legitimate ministry needs without allowing those needs to dominate our perspective? when we only measure our ministries by what we're missing, we eventually become blind to what we've already been given. And that's in any mindset. Like you you look at that like one of and this is just me throwing stuff out there for the world to hear. Like, you know, I Everybody knows youth youth pastors are typically on the lower end scale, but l as far as pay, also public education teachers are on the lower end scale of pay. That's my job and my wife's job. And a lot of times it it's very, very easy to be like, well man, we're just we're just not like we're just gonna be broke, kinda thing like that. And then it's we we lose sight of the fact that we we are both very well paid for the roles that we have. And so it we can just lump ourselves in this category of we're we're so blinded by what's missing or what we feel like is missing. that we've been we become blind to what we've already been given. And so it's it's and and this is just a like I said, it's just an example. But my wife and I occasionally we'll be like, man, we could be in different jobs and then we wouldn't have all this all we would we would have money to pay off our house and we'd have money to go do this and make these renovations to our house and all this stuff. And it's like, but we're a teacher and a youth pastor. And then it's like, but we're also a my wife is a really, really good paid educator. especially for the state of Texas. and then I am paid really well for a youth pastor position. And so like it's easy to forget that like we are higher end on our current situations and we are actually very prosperous compared to what what other people deal with, because we're so focused on what we're missing instead of what we've been given. And like like I said, money in groups don't necessarily tie over completely, but that's the idea here is it's just this mindset of we can be some become so laser focused on the idea of what's missing, we forget what's already been given to us. And so we we fail to see the blessings that have already been there. and so like it's the scarcity mindset. And so the scarcity mindset is when not enough becomes our default. we don't have enough of this. We don't have enough of this. I wish we had more of this. It'd be so much better if we had more of this. And that while those are great aspirations of growth. You can't have those as your focus because then you're missing out on what you already have. And so let's define what we mean by scarcity. We're not talking about financial scarcity alone, but budgets are a huge aspect in youth ministry. we're not talking, we're talking about the mindset that constantly interprets our ministry through limitations. Like I said, not enough students, not enough engagement, not enough support, not enough volunteers, not enough time. The number of youth Pastors that I've heard have that comment of well, I only get to meet an hour and a half on Wednesday nights. Well, what are you doing on Wednesday nights? Well, we start with a game, and that game typically takes about 45 minutes. I'm like, Well, you're you're spending half of your time right there. a lot of times we we act like it's an idea of like we're we're missing this or we need more time. It's like, no, we just need to be more productive with our time. speaker-1: Well, and if I can I can definitely speak on that because we've talked about this a little bit on the podcast, is that I am currently in a season of trying to shift us from all in on games to deeper discipleship. And I've I was very honest with our students over the last really the Wednesday and Sunday, 'cause my Wednesday group and my Sunday group are are very different, because I've got out of town people that can't make Wednesdays and so very different groups. So I kinda gave the same conversation but I I have less time on a Wednesday night than I do on a Sunday night. I have two hours versus an hour. So they're radically different, obviously. And so we don't have time for games at all on Wednesday. And I've been I've made that very clear. It's like if y'all want games, we can y'all show up early and I'll stay late. But that's the best I can do. I can't do it during our time, our actual like specific time. But with Sundays we do. And so what I told him was like, listen, we're gonna shift it. We've always done it where it was games and then worship, and conversation. but I was like, here's the thing, like games are radically it I feel like it's putting us in a pressure cooker for time. and it's one of those things where sometimes we'll have a game and even when I'm intentional to say that we have twenty minutes and that's the max I'm gonna give to it. but then we'll be in the middle and they're like, can we just one more or whatever? And then you know, I'm a big softy, so I'd always give them that. because I I want them to have fun. It's their group. but then it's just like then I'm like, gosh, we gotta hurry. So then I find myself literally thinking and saying, All right we gotta hurry up so we can Through worship. We gotta hurry up so we can we can get to talk, and stuff like that. I'm just like, Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't wanna rush the Holy Spirit ever. I never wanna be that guy. And so I just told him I like, Listen, here's the thing I'm gonna ask of you. We're gonna flip this thing around. We're gonna start with worship. We're gonna s we're going to go into our conversation, we're gonna we're gonna go into our Bible study. And the more focused and intentional you are with this time, the more time I can give you at the end. Now I'm not saying let's get through let's hurry through this so that we can get to the game. We're gonna talk as long as we're gonna talk. But if you would like some time for a game afterwards, then let's dial it in. Because we waste we waste so much time on tangents. that bunch of ADHD kids and an ADHD youth pastor who can barely keep us on at times. we've gotta be focused in this situation. And so what I'm not what I'm you know, and I was very intentional, I even apologized for where I felt like I got it wrong. And I feel like that was where I won them over more than anything, is by by recognizing I was so focused on discipleship because and I'll Honest and that was I was very, very open and vulnerable in this moment. And I'm not gonna lie, I cried a little bit. but I I lost a student. I know if I talked about this on the podcast, but back in May, I lost a student from my my previous church. literally my last service in my previous church was senior Sunday. And two years later I stood on that very stage and I I buried him. Twenty years old, and his heart gave out. And and I've I've buried more students than I care to talk about. if I'm totally honest. And it's it's heartbreaking this we shouldn't we are in a ministry, as pastors we do funerals. We should not be burying our students. That's something that I think all of us can universally agree with, no matter what faith we you know, none of us want to to have that. And so I'll be completely honest, and this is a student that I know struggled with faith and a group that struggled with faith and And I've wrestled for the last several years on where the you know, did I do enough? Did I did I say enough? Did we you know and and I'll be completely honest, because of that, I after he he passed away, and I did his funeral and and and talking with his parents and stuff like that, you know, I was assured that he knew Jesus and I and I know he did, but there's just a part of me that j I got so hyper focused on maxing out our time for deep discipleship that it became my only focus. And I got to a point where I was like, I was dreading games and I even got to a point where I was like, well, if we're not gonna have enough time for discipleship, then we're not gonna even have time for worship. And that's really, really strange of me. And so I just told him straight up, I like, guys, I have been so focused on it that I've lost the plot a little bit. So we're gonna rein things back in. We're gonna get things back to where they need to go. And I spent like I basically went like a month Of having not a good balance. And that was, it was killing me. And I was like, what am I doing wrong? What am I doing wrong? And then it just hit me. I was like. Reverse them, start with worship, deep intentional worship that leads us into a deep intentional conversation, and then have fun. And it was just like ding, that's what we've been needing to do this whole time. And and you know, I apologized for my part in it. I explained where I was coming from, and they were like, that makes a lot of sense. And they were like, Yeah, okay. And so all all I said was, if you're intentional at this time, I promise I'll be intentional with games as well because they know I don't love it. and but they also see how hard I try to give them good games that they can enjoy. And so it was kind of like, hey, let's let's meet in the middle. And let's both be intentional with our entire night. And they were like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And our conversation was incredible. And the game was incredible. It just felt like the whole night was better. Worship was better. The talk was better. And here was why. Because I was honest about why I was doing the things that I was doing. I apologized for the parts that I felt like I I didn't do so well and I didn't lead so well. And they they were like, Well, thank you, because we as adults don't do a great job of apologizing when we're wrong. And to a student to hear an apology is like, whoa. It's like getting mail, physical mail that's actually good mail. whoa, this is cool. It's rare. You know? And so I think it it put them in a position where they were like, man, I want to I want to be dialed in because I see how much he cares. And and more importantly, how much God cares and how much and and that's always been a thing. They they love Jesus. They just love games and and so we're trying to find that balance. And so I think that's been one of the things for me is, you know, eating eating my humble pie and apologizing for for where I didn't balance well, or I didn't feel like I led as well as I should. And I know some people would disagree with that and that's okay. but it ended up working really well for us and I think it it led to some deeper conversations because when I was I was honest about some of the things I was struggling with and and the worship song really lent into that next thing I know they were kind of talking and we ended up spending some time talking about some things where they were like, I felt like I didn't do this well. Okay. And then and then the students got to talk talk through like how they could have done that better. And it was it's being a really incredible conversation. And I think it started with me being vulnerable and honest and allowing them the space to do the same. Yeah. I know that's not totally on on brand with what we're talking about today, but I think it's it's helpful. At least it was for speaker-0: Sure. Yeah. And so the thing is is there's sometimes just things that we're dealing with are objectively true and we can't like avoid them. There's things that we have to deal with, there's things that we have to handle. and like, you know, ministries can be really understaffed. We can lose our focus on like ideas or priorities. and I think that's that's something that can happen very easily. And so churches can really operate with a limited budget. I was in a church one time that like literally they told me, hey, you have a budget of fifty five hundred dollars, but you're not allowed to use it. and I was like, but what what's a budget for then? And I had to fundraise all the money that I spent. and so like it happens. and realistically, this also happens to a ton of people. A youth pastor can really have too many responsibilities. It happens regularly because the youth pastor is commonly multiple jobs, multiple hats. but gratitude doesn't erase those realities. And I I think we really, really need to like address that. But scarcity becomes spiritually unhealthy when those realities begin determining our attitude, our identity, and our sense of calling. We start thinking if I had more students, I'd feel like I was accomplishing something. Or if I had more volunteers, I'd finally be able to enjoy ministry. Or if our church had a better facility, we'd be more effective. If we could do what other ministries do, then I wouldn't actually make an impact. Eventually our joy becomes dependent on our circumstances changing. And so comparison makes scarcity worse. Because we rarely compare our entire ministry to someone else's entire ministry. We compare our difficult Tuesday nights to someone else's highlight reel. this is the social media world that we live in. Nobody puts on social media their bad days. They're it's always the highlights of the trips and the vacations and the birthday celebrations and all those things that they do. And so in ministry, we see the packed worship room. We see the successful retreat. We see the new building, we see the professionally designed graphics, and we forget that every ministry has challenges that we don't see. One of the most damaging things about comparison is convincing us that God's faithfulness in someone else's ministry somehow diminishes his faithfulness in ours. well, God must be blessing that ministry more because they're doing more with their stuff. But God's work isn't competition. God's entrusted you to where you are to do what you're doing, and all he's asking you to be is obedience. And so the difference really falls between needs and identity. Did you have something to say, David? speaker-1: I was just gonna say remember when that church across the street that seems to just have all the things going for them, when they win, so do you. So do I, so does Brent. Because we're all on the same team. speaker-0: Hundred percent. speaker-1: Easy to look and go, and let's be completely honest, that's not a hundred percent on us. I I guarantee you, I don't care how healthy your church is. There's somebody looking at you going, Well, that church has a full parking lot. Why don't we? I know you're getting the pressures. I get the pressures. I'm sure Brink gets the pressures. yeah, when we see these different things, and and sometimes it's just a passing comment, like, and sometimes it's even a positive comment where they go, Man, it's really cool to see that church doing so. Well, but there's a part of you that wonders: is there something more to that comment than them just saying, Wow, awesome, God is doing some incredible things in that that church? There's a part of you that wonders is like, was that a shot? Because we're always on guard, yeah, you know, in some ways, and so I I don't know. Just remember that when they win, you do too. We're all on the same team here. We don't all necessarily have to agree. But we as long as we agree that Jesus Christ is the center and that's what's being preached and proclaimed, when they win, we do w. Don't forget that. speaker-0: 100%. Yeah. And that's a that's a huge dynamic to understand is some somewhere along the line we lose sight on that we're we're all a part of the Capital C church. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: and like we're somehow or another lose sight and we begin to think that like Jesus is solely working through our ministry. And unfortunately there are churches and denominations out there that think that, and that's wild because that is not biblical at all. but like I think the importance is like we were saying, the the difference between needs and identity. And so you can recognize a need in your ministry without allowing that need to define your ministry. You can say, hey, we need to work on getting more volunteers instead of our ministry is failing because we don't have enough volunteers. You can say that, hey, let's let's make a goal this year to reach more students instead of saying, man, we don't have enough students. there's there's a huge dynamic difference between those two statements. You can say, Hey, so let's come up with some ideas to improve this program so it can be better, instead of man, nothing we're doing is working. That's the difference between evaluating your ministry honestly and interpret it interpreting everything through scarcity. You're not failing and losing everything. You might have things you need to work on instead. And so, have we allowed a legitimate ministry need to become a source of outgoing frustration, ongoing frustration? And then if so, what are some sky what are some signs that scarcity is the beginning of affecting a leader's attitude? when you when you self-reflect on yourself, are you seeing yourself become more negative and more harsh and more abrupt when it becomes to like the interactions of how you see your ministry? Is it because you're viewing out of a lens of scarcity or are you viewing out of a lens of gratitude? speaker-1: And I think we have to get back to the root of things. If if you're thinking really negatively about your ministry, take a deep look in the mirror and and root it back. Sometimes it has nothing to do with ministry. Maybe it's something that you're struggling with personally. Maybe it's a fight you had with your spouse. I can tell you there are times where when I'm I'm struggling the most and you know what I love is that I have a pastor who's also one of my best friends in life, and sometimes when I'm going through something, he'll just straight. Up ask me the question, let's let's root it out. It's like what's going on at home? And Morning Gary. you know, what's going on? And and he's very quick to ask me the the important questions like, Hey, how are things going on at home? Well, you know, Kelsey and I got in a fight and he was like Yeah, I could see that. Let's talk about it. And then I go from a place of of negativity c you know on everything else, but really what's what's really wrong if I root it out the thing that's most wrong is that I'm actually just upset because I got an argument with my wife and had nothing to do with ministry, but I'm allowing that to spiral into the things that I do. So we we I think sometimes we gotta we do need to kinda root things out and and and follow the trail back and ask ourselves like, is this a is this a ministry problem is this a work problem or is it a me problem? I like to joke all the time in in the tech areas like is it a user error? It might be. And if it is, all right, let's fix it. speaker-0: Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. And I I think s scarcity becomes dangerous when the things that we don't have to begin no when the things we don't have begin determining how the value of the things that we do have. And so I think sometimes we get so so like narrow minded or so focused. And like I think you brought up a huge mindset also is like, you know, a lot of times even it it can be scarcity mindsets and other aspects of our life that we can carry into ministry too. Like we can have those negative intentions and negative focuses of like maybe something that happened at home, or I mean, like you talk about like just frustrations and grief of family affairs. Like, you know, like I've I've seen plenty of people that are dealing with elderly parents or elderly grandparents that like it tremendously skews their view and their like personality when it comes to their lives around them and it bleeds into their ministries too. It's like, yes, you're hurting, yes, you're grieving, or yes, you had this argument, or this big fight, or this this really bad thing happened to you. And sometimes we can let our the outside world influence our ins like in influence the ministry. And I don't want to say that's a negative thing because I think we need to show students real world. But I think that if it affects how we treat students, then we're doing it wrong. So speaker-1: Yeah, that's either. speaker-0: So we can we can really really work towards showing them the hardships of life, but we still have to present it in a way that's graceful and filled with love and respect for students. So gratitude is not denial, it's learning contentment. And this is where Philippians 4 becomes incredibly helpful. Paul writes about learning contentment in different circumstances. Okay. the I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Like that's not a superpower. Well, I mean in all reality it kind of is a superpower when you really understand the verse. It's like the superpower of com contentment in anything is a vital thing to the Christian life. I just the mindset of he's experienced abundance. He's experienced need. He knows what it means to have plenty, and he knows what it means to go without. Paul is not saying I have all I can conquer anything like with supernatural strength, but he is saying, look, I've I've I've had it all and I've had nothing. And God has taught me to be content in both. And so what's fascinating is that Paul doesn't pretend that those circumstances are identical. He recognizes the difference. He also refuses to allow his circumstances to become the ultimate source of his contentment. Philippians, like I said, Philippians 4 13, he's Paul says he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. We sometimes use that verse as like, whatever goal I set, I'll accomplish. But Paul is talking about learning to remain faithful and content through changing circumstances. And as a leader in the church, we have to have that as a model for other people. this is deeply relevant to ministry leadership. Because sometimes we interpret God's faithfulness as visible success. If attendance grows, God's blessing us. If giving increases, God's blessing us. If the event goes well, God is blessing. But what happens when those things don't happen? What is God suddenly absent because your attendance isn't growing? Has he stopped being faithful? No. Our circumstances may change, our resources may change, our opportunities may change, but God's character does not change. speaker-1: Hebrews 13 8. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Yes, anchor point speaker-0: Hundred percent. speaker-1: that we have we in faith, like yes, I quote it all the time, just as much as I quote Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, to trust and obey, and God will make a way. Like I I really we have speaker-0: There's no other way. speaker-1: Nice. we have to anchor something because this world is crumbling. This world is getting scary at times. But yet we as Christians have something that we can truly anchor ourselves into and knowing that, you know, as Paul said, whether I'm experiencing good times or bad times, easy times or hard times, God is still the same yesterday, He is still the same today, and He's gonna be the same level of faithfulness tomorrow. And so we don't have to worry if If God even clothes the bird of the air and feeds them, then what do we have to worry about? Yes, it's hard. Yes, we gotta stay rooted. Yes, we gotta stand our ground and and and and do the work and and you know, keep the plow to the ground, so to speak. But like God is still faithful that never changed. And if it feels like he's not faithful, maybe the question needs to to be: has God stopped being faithful or have I? speaker-0: Yeah. Sure. No, I I I think that's a huge d mindset. And then the other aspect of that is like we have to understand that gratitude and lament can coexist. Yeah. gratitude doesn't require us to pretend we're happy about everything. You can be thankful for your volunteers and still be exhausted by scheduling challenges. You can love your students and still grieve when they make bad decisions or destructive decisions. You can be grateful for your church and still recognize that things need to improve. Psalms give us the Psalms gives us permission to bring grief and frustration and disappointment honestly before God. And 1 Thessalonians 5:18 calls believers to give thanks in all circumstances, not necessarily for every circumstance, but within them. That distinction matters. Gratitude isn't denying the difficulty, it's refusing to let difficulty become the entire story. So how do we distinguish contentment from complacency? How do we model both lament and gratitude genuinely? What would change if we approached ministry challenges with thankfulness rather than resentment? It's like, and I I think there's a mindset to this. It's like, we've been like my church specifically, we've been struggling for years with space, which is everybody's like, well, that's a great thing. that's such a blessing. It's really not. It's horrible. there is a lament side of this because, like, logistically and administratively, it has caused a ton of headaches. And so we can do that small. Mindset of scarcity, and we could be like, well, this is miserable. I'm gonna leave this church because there's too many people. It's like, but do you hear yourself? sometimes we focus on that scarcity aspect instead of saying, Hey, how do we approach the ministry challenge with thankfulness? And yes, growth is a ministry challenge, just so you're like I'm I'm I'm saying that as a as an honest thing, because when you grow, there is a limitation to how much you can grow in your current space. If you are a church that has a sanctuary that fits a hundred people and you have two hundred people start showing up on a Sunday, you're gonna feel it real fast. So, but at the end of the day, the flip side of that also happens. If you have a church sanctuary that seats 500 and you get down to a hundred, you're gonna feel that real fast too. So it goes both ways. And so with this though, we can be focused in on the problem, or we can be thankful for the challenge that presents itself that we have to grow from. So gratitude doesn't mean everything is good. It means that God is still good when everything isn't. And that goes into family, that goes into ministry, that goes into other aspects of life. Gratitude doesn't mean everything is good. It means that God is still good when everything else isn't. So what does gratitude change about our leadership? Maybe we get a little practical here, hopefully. But what actually changes when a youth pastor begins leading from gratitude? Hopefully we start to see students differently. And we talked about this a little bit earlier. Instead of walking into the room thinking about the students that aren't there, we begin to notice the ones that are. Not because we stop caring about the absent students, but because the students in front of us deserve our attention. They aren't placeholders until the ministry grows. They're people that God has entrusted us to right now. We lead volunteers differently, hopefully. Scarcity says, why can't I get anyone else to help? Gratitude says, how can I encourage and care for the people that are already serving? That doesn't mean we stop recruiting. It means our current volunteers don't become invisible while we search for extra ones. speaker-1: The other side of it, and I think we've talked about this here too, it's been a minute, but when we make our volunteers feel like rock stars, they help you recruit. It's not all on you at that point. When you have a volunteer and and Br I think now I remember we did talk about this because Brent had talked about having a volunteer that he very, very much loved who ended up needing to step down, but she said, Hey, by the way, I'm having to step down, but I've already got my replacement and all these different things, right? Am I remembering that correctly? speaker-0: Yeah, I that's that's this year. Look speaker-1: And so it's happening now. Yeah. So it's like it's one of those situations where when you invest in your volunteers to the point where they care about the ministry as much, if not more. And I say if not more because for some of your volunteers, they were in this church long before you were. And they've cared about this church for a very, very long time. And when you have people like that that are absolute rock stars, they're the first one going, This is why you should be in youth. Because I know, because I've been here for a long, long, long time and we love this ministry and we want you to be a part. Yeah. It's not all on you at that point. You're a team. Don't forget that. You're a team. speaker-0: No, a hundred percent. And I think that's a huge dynamic. and the thing is is like it comes down to it like you gotta you gotta encourage your leaders, you gotta equip your leaders, and then like any good leader would like a leader over volunteers, I guess, leader over leaders, any good lead would also challenge your leaders to push themselves. And so like if you're just letting your leaders be there, that's that's fine. And I understand that like we all need volunteers and sometimes we treat them as warm bodies because of ministry safe policies or stuff like that. But if you're not challenging your leader to grow and you're not giving them a reason to be there, they're not gonna be there long. And we've talked about that before. we we've done a ton of episodes on volunteers. You can go back and look. I mean this is 278 on episodes. There's tons of episodes before this. Just go to our website smcpodcast.riverside dot com And you can literally type in volunteers and it'll pull up all the volunteer episodes. but it's it's really, really important that we treat volunteers as a encourage them to grow too. Because we're the goal is to try and make volunteers not become invisible. If they don't feel like they're needed, they won't be there. Okay. So like volunteers are huge. It doesn't mean we stop recruiting, but we do have to take care of the volunteers that we have as well. Two things that we do in our ministry. Well, I guess three things. We challenge them to grow. I give them challenges every single year. Give them an opportunity to step up and grow in some area. I encourage them by meeting up with them at least once a semester. Just them and me saying, Hey, how's life going? How's how's volunteering going? Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything I can pray for you over? and then also like I I buy them something. I buy them coffee or I buy them lunch or whatever. We do it over a meal or over a coffee or something. Just as an appreciation kind of thing. And then finally, we give them thank you gifts at Christmas. And We are super, super intentional. We do not get them all the same thing. And my associate youth pastor runs this Shana. She does it phenomenally. But this came off of an idea that I heard on a podcast. And it says, if you give every single person in your business or your organization the same gift, the only thing you're showing is that you don't care about any of them. And I was like, What hold on, that's weird. And so he started going into this. He was like, So you mean to tell me if you have a college person that's in your business and you have a a a father that's providing for a family of five, they need the same gift card? And I was like, hold on. He goes, Yeah, that college student probably is gonna be happy with like an Amazon gift card or like something to that nature. But the family, like the the the dad, like what's gonna speak more to his heart? An Amazon gift card that he's gonna buy something that he could probably already buy with, or a gift card for him and his family to go do something together. He was like, know your people so you can invest in your people. You're not investing in them as a number, you're investing in them as a person. And so with that, our volunteers for the families, we typically do two gift cards. We give them a dinner and we give them a movie, or we give them a gift card to take their family to go putt putt or something to that nature. Something where their whole family can go do something and we're not appreciating just that one leader. College kids, we typically load them down with free food gift cards. Because college and food is essential. And the cafeteria plans, ooh, anybody that's gone to college, like cafeteria is okay, but nothing is that great. You'd rather go out and eat. And money's tight, so we we load them down with food gift cards. being intentional about how you treat your volunteers is super, super important. So that's just three things. Challenge your volunteers, talk to your volunteers, and then appreciate your volunteers. three things, but that that shows that your volunteers aren't invisible. It shows that you care about the current ones that you have. And then, like David said a second ago, it'll also encourage them to replace them when they leave. Because they know that they will be well taken care of. So And then last last two for the practicality things. hopefully, with this whole idea of like, you know, thinking differently, when we begin leading from gratitude, we begin to make decisions differently. Scarcity can create reactive leadership to where you're always responding instead of acting beforehand. And so we add programs because we're afraid students leave, we chase trends because another ministry seems successful. We overcommit because we feel like we have something to prove. Gratitude creates room for more thoughtful leadership. We can ask, hey, what do our students actually need? What resources has God already provided? What can we do faithfully with what we have already? And those are huge dynamics that every youth ministry needs to take because they're really, really important. And then finally we pray differently. Instead of prayer becoming only a list of things that we need God to fix, it becomes a practice of remembering his provision. We're still asking, we're still seeking, but we're also thinking. And that changes our posture. So, how does a grateful leader affect the culture of a volunteer team? Where could gratitude help us make wiser decisions? What's one thing in your ministry that you've begun to take for granted? The way we view our ministry eventually becomes the way that we lead our ministry. Some other ideas for practicality. Here's five practices that you can literally take and start using immediately. First, name what God is doing before discussing what's missing. God, thank you for all of these things, and I pray that we can continue to grow in these. At volunteer meetings, begin with stories of growth, meaningful conversations, answered prayers, or small signs of faithfulness. Secondly, like I said earlier, thank people specifically. Don't just tell a volunteer, hey, thanks for helping. Tell them what you noticed. Hey, thank you for sitting with that student that was alone. Thank you for staying late to have that conversation. Specific encouragement communicates that our contributions matter. Third, keep a record of God's faithfulness. Write down moments you don't want to forget. Keep thank you notes. We've said that a thousand times on this podcast. But write down moments you don't want to forget. Not just big events, the quiet conversations, the students who had asked a meaningful question, the volunteer who stepped up unexpectedly, the parent that shared something that's changing at home. Over time, those stories help correct distorted perspective. And it's huge. Fourth, and this one is really, really hard. And I really, really encourage you to think long and careful about how you do this. Because this is one that we can easily drift into negative quick. Evaluate your ministry without attacking it. speaker-1: Or anyone. speaker-0: Or anyone. that's a that's a huge mindset too. It's not your pastor's fault. It's not like you you don't attack your ministry, evaluate your ministry. You can recognize that something isn't working without speaking about your ministry or people in your ministry as though they're worthless. Practice honest evaluation rooted in hope. And then fifth, invite your volunteers into gratitude. If you are doing it, invite your leaders to join in on the process. Ask where you have seen God working in a student recently. That one question can reshape the tone of a leadership meeting. And it's huge. But you're also encouraging your volunteers to practice the same thing that you're doing. Where have you seen God working in a student recently? Well, this kid never talks. I've tried to get him to talk all semester long. And last night we did what you said and we incorporated a squishy into our small group conversation and they're tossing the squishy and they catch it. And when they catch it, they know that they have to answer. That kid caught the squishy five times and answered five questions. He never talks. that's a huge win. I just this happened last week on Wednesday night. I I say all the time that I like I teach high school. And so one of the things that I really, really like to do is I like to let the high school t kids like teach. And so I this year I've like, hey, here is my teaching schedule for the whole year. This is what we're doing, this is what I'm going through. I've had five, six I I I think I've had six different high schoolers say they want to teach this year. But it was really, really funny because one of them was an older brother and a younger sister. And the older brother is like he's the the expectation. he's gonna want to teach because he wants to be a pastor when he grows up, stuff like that. It's super, super like okay, that's pretty expected. He comes up and he's like, Hey, I I'd love to teach. and he starts looking through and his sister comes over with him. And his sister, after the brother finishes and tells me what he wants to teach, the sister speaks up and is like, Hey, I'd like to teach too. And the brother goes, What? Like he was dumbfounded. And then I talked to the mom yesterday, and the mom was like, She came home and told us, and we were shell-shocked. Like, we didn't know how to respond because that is not her, which is really, really cool. We're so excited. And it's just this mindset of like, you know. Where have you seen God work in a student recently? That's a huge dynamic, and that's one for us. It's like this this kid that has everybody had no expectation of wanting to teach and wanting to be the leader is stepping up to be the leader and everybody's like, What? How is this happening? and it's because she sees it, she wants to do it, and so she's pursuing it, which is awesome. So, before your next youth gathering. Write down three things you're grateful for in your current ministry. then thank one volunteer for something specific. And finally, ask God to help you see the students in front of you as gifts rather than responsibilities you have to manage. The big thing to take out of this is don't miss what God has given you. I want to come back to the question that we started with. What do you wish you had more of in your ministry? Maybe it's students, maybe it's volunteers, money, time, encouragement. Those desires aren't necessarily wrong. We should want to reach more students. We should want healthy teams. We should want resources that allow us to serve well. But the challenge is that we don't become so consumed with the ministry you hope to have that you stop being thankful for the ministry you're currently called to lead. Because there are students in front of you right now, you have volunteers right now, there's opportunities to disciple people right now, and there is a God that is doing work right now. And if we're always waiting for something to change before we can be grateful, we may spend years overlooking his faithfulness. So this week, before you ask God to move more, take time to thank him for what he's already entrusted to you. Not because you have everything you want, but because he remains faithful. And that is enough of a reason to lead with gratitude. Don't let what your ministry lacks keep you from recognizing what God is already doing. David, I feel like it is your turn to close us out, my friend. speaker-1: no, I've got a reason why I can't. Just kidding. I did that last time. Legitimately did. But no, it is way past my turn. So I am grateful too. All right, let's pray, guys. Thank you so much, God, for all that you all that you are. Lord, we don't say thank you enough. So often we come with our frustrations, we come with our with our our fears, we come with our doubts. And God, what a incredible God you are that you can handle all those things. God, whether we're we're coming with a with a calm and level head or a absolutely meltdown DEF CON 10 or whatever it is moment, God, you are with us in those moments. and you are faithful in those moments. And so God, we are so grateful for what you're doing in our lives. We're grateful for what you've done in the lives of of every one of these these leaders that are listening, God whether they're full time or part time youth pastors or in a different area of ministry or volunteers, whatever it might be. God, we just we are so grateful for all those who who choose to listen. God, we pray that you would bless their ministries. God, that you'd help them to see the things that are right in front of that they can be grateful for. God, to see the people that they can be grateful to be, to see even their budget is something that they can be grateful for, even if it's hard, even if they can't spend, even if that they have to fundraise, God, to have the ability to do what we do and to to live out this incredible calling that you've given us, Lord. We're so grateful for it. God help us to have a heart that is grateful. Help us to have a mind that is grateful. And help us to cultivate a culture of that. Not just because it's November and we think about the things that we're grateful for, but because it matters. Gratitude changes the landscape of our ministries. so Lord help us to to continue to take stock of the things that we can be grateful for, make the changes that need to be changed. but ultimately God that you would just bless us. God help us to see with fresh eyes the things that's right in front of us that we often miss or ignore because we're f hyper focused on other things. God, focus our eyes on on things above. God and help us to let go of the things that we can't understand or can't control. But Father, to be faithful to to what you have called us to and and entrusted us in. God, I thank you for every every leader here who is listening. God, we pray that you'd bless them tonight as they have ministries. or well, today is Wednesday, but for for their next night of ministry, whether that's Sunday or Wednesday or something in between, a conversation. God, may you bless it. God, we thank you so much for for who you are and what you're doing. It's in your name we pray.