Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 30: Black Antlers Part 5: Horny in the Woods (with Daniel Harilla Carlsen)

Transcript

Season One, Episode 30: Black Antlers Part 5: Horny in the Woods (with Daniel Harilla Carlsen) · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:00
Welcome back to Flames and Face. I'm Daniel and I'm running Black
0:03
Antlers for this miserable scum. An adventure I'm putting out on
0:08
Exalted Funeral this winter which will last forever.
0:12
Who do I have with me around the table?
0:15
Hello, my name is Levi. I am the miserable braless.
0:20
Yes, Moby is here. I always been here, still
0:24
trapped, still drunk. I'm Thomas and I'll be playing
0:27
Bomb Fred. I'm Kevin and I'm playing Grubs
0:31
the intoxicated. That's it.
0:34
Just Walt. Hi.
0:36
Hi, Walt. And well, in the last episode we
1:06
got it. We got a beautiful montage of
1:08
approval building a snowman, making snow angels, building an
1:13
igloo and reading erotic Harlequin novels while the rest
1:17
of the gang after drinking infernal Spiritus bargaining of
1:22
the goose devil, promising a demonic Jingle or drinking song
1:27
in his honor before fighting the remaining cannibalistic to an
1:32
elements lurking and stocking them in the woods.
1:36
After setting half of these little crops of trees on fire,
1:39
you're now surrounded by 4 dead bodies and burning narrow trees.
1:46
Some of them are like branches are falling down before like
1:49
like smoke from putting out fires rising from from the scars
1:54
and the and the and the frosty surface.
1:57
You're all getting to your feet, drenched and alcoholic Sweat,
2:02
blood. You can see campfire far in
2:05
between the trees. The the new brow is noticed
2:08
between the between the fight. That's where the the four
2:12
villagers were reciting before you got their attention with a
2:17
bigger fire. Balfour, grab a corpse, you know
2:20
that the fresh ones make the best pillows, especially when
2:23
that Bella get plumped with all the maggots.
2:26
We'll go over their little campfire that they got set up,
2:28
maybe we got some stick snacks and Paddy wacks and take a
2:31
little nap. And Mobius will grab the closest
2:34
corpse he can and start dragging it towards their campfire.
2:37
Yeah, Boneford will grab another corpse by its foot and just kind
2:40
of like drag it like someone like behind Mobius.
2:45
Grubbs is going to grab the one that he was wrestling with, take
2:49
the spear out of the nose cavity and drag it from the the roof of
2:55
its mouth over to the fire. Jesus, what do you plan on
3:00
needing those things or what? Actually I I plan on taking
3:07
because he he said he had runes at or carved into his flesh.
3:10
Yeah. Being as I couldn't hit him for
3:13
fucking anything, I figured that these runes had something to do
3:16
with his prowess. So what I'm going to do is I'm
3:20
going to take the scalpel that I have and I'm going to carve the
3:23
runes off off of his head. You.
3:26
Want some alone time or something?
3:28
No, why? And I'm going to keep carving as
3:31
I'm staring off at the the monolith and still listening to
3:35
the them talking or whatever. And I want to take the runes and
3:39
I want to wrap it around my my wrist like a like a bracelet to
3:44
just hoping that it will give me some sort of edge because.
3:48
That's that's so creative. I would be that would that would
3:51
be really bad game master if I didn't reward that.
3:53
So yeah, I'll I'll say that with this as it is 2 and Ellen Ruins
4:01
and you're if you're familiar with them, they will lower your
4:05
PR on defence rolls and close combat by 1.
4:10
Oh hell yeah. Your your silver tongue is still
4:13
clattering like out of your foot.
4:15
It's it's it's hard to like speak properly because you don't
4:17
really have nerves in it. OK, so it's like effects you
4:20
know your articulation, your testicle articulation and
4:28
approval just to see if if you're doing all right Roman D4
4:31
is even if it's a random encounter.
4:32
I do global reading your novels interesting.
4:36
So approval. Meanwhile, you're you're you're
4:38
nice and cozy and in your little little igloo or more like a
4:43
little like a little snow cave. I will say you could have you
4:46
could have actually just crawled into one of the tubalesses has
4:50
plenty of space. And why don't you give me a
4:52
reaction. You need 2D6. 52D.
4:55
You hear like a panting and kind of something from something
5:01
lacks lungs steps crushing the snow outside sounds like 16 feet
5:12
stumbling around those a. Giant centipede.
5:17
You also hear the clackering of bones and smell like stench of
5:22
them going closer. Well, I like this less and less,
5:27
but if I'm going to die, I might as well be in a burial chamber
5:29
when it happens. You see a mule kind of like a
5:32
Bony mule picking in through the tunnel and a pair of pair of eye
5:37
eye holes and the lips of this thing appear to be replaced by
5:45
frozen human fingers, almost like a mustache as they're like
5:50
they're kind of like searching around inside, like every
5:53
reattached, almost reassembled lips by something clearly
5:57
doesn't know much about human or not anatomy.
6:00
You see another mule kind of like trying to push it aside and
6:02
trying to get in to get like a like a good sniff.
6:06
I see the fingers wiggling and I guess I wave back at hand faced
6:10
donkey mule. Yeah, give me AD six.
6:14
I got a six. That means that whatever limb is
6:19
reattached still has memory with its previous life.
6:24
Yeah. So you see that like for a
6:26
second that finger mustache, that skeleton reindeer mule kind
6:31
of like stops as you wave to it and kind of like waves back look
6:37
like ring joints. I wait and see what happens.
6:42
By this, as they realize that you see that like that the
6:45
reindeer start like can count from little silhouettes you can
6:49
see underneath every time it lifts his head a little bit, but
6:51
there's at least three of them. And you see they start kind of
6:55
like like scuffling with their hooves trying to like, try
6:59
trying to make the hole bigger to be able to reach you.
7:02
Well, I guess I grabbed my shield and my warhammer.
7:05
Yeah. I'm still staying inside, not
7:07
going out. Yeah, yeah, there's no other way
7:10
out. I'm.
7:10
Sitting here, I I got, I got some snacks, I got my book.
7:14
I'm living my best life. I'm in my lane, I'm focused, I'm
7:17
thriving. If your she sheds.
7:24
The hole becomes bigger by the 2nd.
7:26
Oh my God, as one of them is like stepping, stepping down,
7:30
trying to force the other one like like dogs fighting over a
7:33
piece of meat. See that it's it's hooves are
7:36
replaced by lungs of what appears to be dead heretical
7:41
preacher man. And as it steps on it, you hear
7:43
like screams coming out of it. And they're going to get to you
7:49
in the four minutes. So OK, being the ladies man that
7:55
Mobius is, he would have seen this as a very romantic night
7:59
and I would have been trying to bring like some sort of flowers
8:02
over to prove he's little love nest.
8:05
Yeah, there's. 2. You're still absolutely fucking
8:08
obliterated, just letting you know.
8:09
God. So give me a presence check and
8:13
see if he's bottom. OK, that's a 2.
8:18
That's not 2. So I'll say that like just just
8:21
a pain. This is like classic ROM com
8:22
material. So as you're like, so stumbling
8:26
through the night here, you're like, perhaps you're practicing
8:28
look. Say perhaps wait for art to
8:30
thou, Trugy Bear. I wished you switched a few.
8:35
And. No, that's not the right thing
8:37
to say. Come on, Mobius, you know how to
8:39
swing with the ladies. Come on.
8:41
Something good? And as you do so, you suddenly
8:45
like as you look up, you bump into something.
8:48
Something that's hard yet soft, a hard interior, but it's kind
8:52
of like soft and lettery exterior as you stare into the
8:56
shit stand remains of what you assume to be an Inquisitor's
9:02
face as a piece of reindeer curd kind of like drops out of its
9:06
mouth. It's been attached over on that
9:10
reindeer, right, that's currently trying to get into one
9:15
of the burial mountains in front of you.
9:16
You see, there's four of them standing, kind of like and
9:18
fighting. They haven't noticed you yet,
9:20
and you're not sure if that face has belonged to Braless or not,
9:23
but it has a strange resemblance.
9:26
Oh. Good.
9:28
She would do like a like a like AD 6 to see if it it remembers
9:32
his previous life as well. That's your family, you can roll
9:35
that one. Before.
9:39
No, it seems like it's vomiting a little.
9:41
Like it's it. It can feel the fecal remains.
9:45
I'm. Going to take the sleeve of my
9:46
coat and wipe its face. The face kind of like it's, it's
9:53
motionless and stretched over the the Vander skeleton ass, but
9:57
still it's like there's a there's a sense of gratitude
9:59
there somewhere. Could I ask you to vacate the
10:02
premises? I've already got claims on this.
10:05
This fine lady in here. I believe you do have the chance
10:09
of if you attempt to somehow and the excitement of them finding
10:14
approval, they have not noticed that they're bumping around
10:16
drunkenly behind them. Maybe because you smell like
10:19
shit and it's pretty cold outside.
10:22
But give me a Gilly check and you can see if you've got a free
10:25
brand attack, because the odds are not really exciting.
10:28
OK, that's 15 with my defect of being drunk.
10:33
Damn. All right, that's enough.
10:35
OK, there's four of them. You can hear that screams at the
10:38
occasional screams of the lung hooves as it's about to turn its
10:42
head. There's like four of them,
10:43
almost like that, the two most with like a feeding tray.
10:46
What do you? What do you?
10:47
Do Oh, are all you boys hungry? I got some food and I'm going to
10:51
take out my sack of soggy grain. You looking for this?
10:53
You want a little bit of this, little bit of this, a little
10:55
something something. And I'm going to, with all my
10:58
might, I'm going to twirl it around my head and then fucking
11:00
let my rickety bones throw that thing as far as I can and see if
11:04
to follow them. Give me a presence check.
11:07
I'm bad at that. And this one matters.
11:12
OK, well it matters how much because I got a natural 10.
11:17
No. Like damn.
11:21
Look in his eyes. I'm like how can this get How
11:23
can this get any worse? You're like drunken standing
11:27
behind like 4 undead reindeer who you currently revealed
11:31
yourself with after managing yourself check and chucking your
11:34
what did you call it? My soggy sack of grain.
11:37
Your soggy sack of grains. Yeah.
11:40
And you throw it impressively far, actually.
11:43
Actually, you throw it all the way to the frozen lake where it
11:45
plunges into the water. And they, like, follow it for,
11:49
like, a good second. You all kind of, like, stand
11:51
there in unison and follow like, that's like, that's a home run
11:56
easily. Unfortunately, the reindeer
11:58
notices a bit before you start the initiative round approval.
12:03
You see that stuff for some reason, you hear like a drunken
12:06
mumbling outside and you see that to reindeer.
12:09
Turn your attention away and stop thinking.
12:11
The rest of you are enjoying the campfire.
12:12
By the way, it's 100. Percent.
12:15
Yeah, Yeah. That's great.
12:15
It's like a a slow like look between US and it's like anyone
12:19
seen Mobius lately I. Haven't seen them at all.
12:23
No, no, I mean. I'm like, too busy watching
12:25
these bodies back to eat. Back to eating, you notice that?
12:29
There's almost like a like a strange sense of like, like
12:31
brotherhood forming here, like a like a like a camaraderie.
12:37
Three's company for force. Force a bundle.
12:41
Well, yeah. So yeah, you can try to defend
12:46
yourself. They're Mobius against.
12:50
Mobius completely misread the situation.
12:52
He thinks it's just like some I'm not defending myself.
12:57
I'm still, I'm like watching the food and I turn back to the
13:00
other four the like the four reindeer men or whatever they
13:04
are. They're like undead, skeletal,
13:06
skeletal reindeers of Frankenstein monsters, Yeah.
13:09
Yeah, I'm still fucking drunk. Yeah.
13:12
Hungry, huh? Oh, that's that's too bad.
13:14
I still need you to scoop. Scoop.
13:16
Get on. Get on out of here.
13:17
Come on now man, got some work to do tonight.
13:21
You see the one of them, they're the kind of like like smallest
13:23
one of them at the back, which appears to have been like a calf
13:27
has has like like feet for antlers and it it's straight up
13:34
like lashes out of your rhythm dealing D6 double kick damage.
13:39
I'm sorry, what'd you say? It kicks you with its antlers
13:42
basically. Yeah, just D6.
13:47
Holy fuck. Oh, no, yes.
13:49
It was a. 6:00 So it was a six. But did you defend yourself
13:52
first? No.
13:55
Because you're going to I'm I'm like, even though you're fumble
13:57
like the punishment is like you it.
13:59
Was a natural one. Times in a row.
14:02
Yeah, it's going to kick me. How many times?
14:04
The first one only like kicks you with antler is one.
14:07
This killed me already. Good.
14:09
Did you roll to defend first? Oh.
14:11
Yeah, roll your agility. Oh.
14:13
God, I don't have any fuck. And I'm drunk.
14:17
Oh. Man.
14:20
Yeah, you hear like it. It turns around to you as old
14:25
Granddad Mobius gets a no on the nose, falls back.
14:35
They're they're frozen children's feet, by the way, you
14:37
say fuck and. It was a very small.
14:44
Inquire. Yeah, Yeah.
14:45
So this is a family show. You whose?
14:48
Family. Reap your Rangers as as as
14:54
you're falling backward state they rush in to rip out and
14:58
decorate themselves. Live your own trails.
15:00
Are you on zero or are you on minus?
15:02
-1. -1 that means die. So Perugal, there's a party
15:06
outside and you're not invited as you hear Mobius kind of like
15:09
confused mumbling is something appears to be ripping out his
15:13
entrails. I peek outsider.
15:15
They all distracted like. Yeah, they're super distracted.
15:18
And you see, like his, his, his arms are kind of like
15:20
gesticulating. He has like, like some twigs
15:23
that he mistook for flowers and one of them, his legs spasming.
15:26
You can't see his his face, thankfully.
15:31
They're all focused on disemboweling him though, right?
15:33
All four of them. You can give me a, you can give
15:35
me an agility check and imagine and see if you managed to sneak
15:39
your way away from. I was just going.
15:41
To run past him. Like not even sneaky, I'm just
15:43
going to bolt. Agility check still to rolled
15:46
away. Oh -1 this is going to work out
15:49
well. Yeah, difficulty rating is 10
15:53
because they're pretty distracted.
15:54
I got a four so I'm going to burn an omen to re roll that.
15:58
That is an 18. Good, so you'll like it.
16:01
Into the night, towards the fire.
16:03
Yeah, towards the fire. Thanks Mobius.
16:05
Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll give you like a like a last chance of
16:08
romance stare. Mobius Phil Blue Narc as you,
16:12
you see, Perugal kind of like legging it between the spraying
16:15
of your old, your own guts and one of the reindeers.
16:18
Kind of like like making up one of your testicles and chucking
16:21
it into its eye hole. Yeah, the the last words that
16:26
leave Mobius's body. All right, Yeah.
16:41
So, so by the fire, you've like you've opened up a fair bit to
16:45
each other. You're sitting there and like
16:46
eating human meat. That's.
16:49
Well, somehow it did. You almost managed to season it
16:51
a little bit, almost taste like Varnasin as you're as you hear
16:55
like tiny little little frugal steps running towards you Brutus
16:59
now and well, you're stopping at a fair range I guess already run
17:04
all the way to the fire. No, I wouldn't get close to the
17:07
fire. I'd probably go around to the
17:08
other side so that they and the fire between me and the range
17:11
here. Yeah, it's a good idea.
17:13
Did did anybody hear that little pitter patter of frozen feet?
17:18
No, no. Mobius is pretty light footed.
17:22
Yeah, him just creeping. No, it's me.
17:25
Oh God damn it. God, you're fucking terrified.
17:27
I I guess probably you can have climb one of the trees if you
17:29
want to to stay a little Barber on the.
17:31
Door. It's a good idea.
17:32
I'll do that. I thought you don't.
17:33
Nice. That wouldn't.
17:35
Do. Yeah, you're surrounded by trees
17:39
and fire. Oh.
17:40
This is fucking terrible and plus these guys are here.
17:43
Bad news buddies just did and we got rained here.
17:45
Oh, and I'll look over at Thomas's characters.
17:48
Like looks like he got promoted. More shares for me, but I'm
17:51
sorry, reindeer. Yeah.
17:53
What? Reindeer.
17:54
You know, big antlers. Why did you bring them over
17:58
here? I didn't.
17:59
They followed me home, I think. I don't know if they're actually
18:02
they were kind of distracted and I don't know.
18:06
No, we can't keep it. We will not get our deposit back
18:09
on this part of the forest. I think you already ruined that
18:11
by burning down that tree I mean.
18:13
Good on you. Yeah, you know.
18:15
I mean there. Can I do a a check to see if
18:20
these reindeers followed? You can clearly see.
18:22
I'll say you're, you're gonna like, stop, listen, look towards
18:25
the fire. Hold your breath.
18:27
One of you probably fart. And.
18:31
Cute and nothing you can't see that far into the darkness that
18:35
you can see all the way to the tumulus, but the only here to
18:38
win struggling to to to snuff out the fire, which it
18:42
eventually will if it's not maintained for the entire land
18:44
on shifts. It appears that the reindeers
18:47
have not been following you one. Of them is screaming lung feet
18:50
so well no. Yeah, here somewhere far away in
18:53
like you hear like, but it's far away.
18:57
So why didn't you help Mobius out?
18:59
He was already dead. OK, that trips I.
19:02
Guess. Yeah.
19:05
Thinking back on The Last Battle, it's like, yeah, no,
19:08
that that checks out. How?
19:09
Do you mean just like, dead? He was like super dead.
19:12
Like, really, really very extremely dead.
19:15
But Are you sure? Yes, well.
19:19
Really dead for me. Yeah.
19:22
Not much we can do about it now, I mean.
19:25
If he's dead, he's dead. Yeah.
19:26
What's that you all? You'll stay at the fire, Yeah.
19:29
You're gonna get some good night's sleep.
19:31
There's a full, full course meal out on the fucking outskirts.
19:36
Great time. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.
19:38
So why don't you all roll for your rest and where do you wish
19:43
to go the next following day? I mean, you all have to roll for
19:47
the fucking cross fever as soon as soon as well.
19:51
It hasn't cleared up by any stretch of the imagination.
19:55
No, the next morning as you're waking up and and you grubs
19:58
might remember heretics like Vida, her grandmothers and
20:02
whatnot and talking about winter eternal and heritical lies of of
20:08
vengeance from from the anther to godmother.
20:13
The rest of you remember very clearly that she said winter
20:16
eternal will swallow you all and unless something is done, there
20:19
is no way out to an hour until she is dealt with or pleased.
20:26
OK, well, I will relay some of these memories that I'm starting
20:30
to get back and I'm kind of going to look to everybody.
20:32
It's like we should probably go to the the monolith and see if
20:36
we can figure out what the hell is going on there.
20:39
I'm fine with that. I'm trying to get vengeance
20:41
there anyway. Yeah, it's going this whole
20:43
time. It's the one place that Mobius I
20:46
hadn't checked, so it makes sense.
20:49
All right, buddy, that's probably.
20:50
Where all the. Loot is I I hope so.
20:53
So you're all awakening, you're you're all like getting your
20:55
stuff up and start long and treacherous trek towards the
21:00
monolith. As you walk through the frozen,
21:04
now snow covered pink piles of horses and to Anella out towards
21:09
the north, the snow now reaching you up above your waist, you
21:14
bring the keg. The keg of Spartacus, by the
21:16
way. That means.
21:18
And a wheelbarrow. Would Bumphreed leave the
21:21
wheelbarrow behind? Got all the tools and my random
21:26
object of mystery. I think I would be dragging what
21:31
I could from the wheelbarrow. If the keg is too heavy I'm just
21:35
going to dump the keg. Just roll that out.
21:38
My type of fermion though. Yeah, I'll take.
21:42
I'll take a shot of it out of the keg and then.
21:45
Oh, you're getting. Drunk.
21:45
What's your? What's your toughness like?
21:48
My toughness is straight. Even so, it's a 0.
21:52
Yeah, what's? Your Toughness 00.
21:56
You can get a pull of it as well, and my toughness is -1.
21:59
All right, that means you lower toughness.
22:03
Well, that's 19 good. Probably you can of course also
22:05
drank smart cars even though you you don't really need to fight
22:10
hyper fermia. But I mean, being drunk is is
22:12
fucking sick so. No.
22:14
I'm good. Yeah.
22:16
See, we're all taking a swig before leaving.
22:18
That's a panic barrel behind. And you can only.
22:21
Everyone who crank can only D6. That's a three.
22:25
Got a four? That's a one, Yeah, excellent.
22:30
Oh, is it though? That's.
22:32
Excellent for someone. So as you're all kind of like
22:35
trekking on the the storms, literally like whipping your
22:39
whatever exposed skin you have on you.
22:41
Now it comes to that point where like you all start looking a
22:44
little Jack into something like like icicle and like frost is is
22:48
is gathering your your nose like pink and comedicly swollen.
22:53
I start looking like frugal snowman.
22:56
As you're going, you you're pretty sure you can see the
22:58
Aurora borealis ahead. It's it's really red.
23:01
You're all fucking wasted as well.
23:04
And the snow blindness starts turning into this red steam
23:09
that's returning that grubs can certainly remember as the sound
23:14
of a fiddle. It's heard somewhere, and for
23:16
the first time in a long time, you can't hear the Blizzard.
23:19
Well, well, well. Look what too.
23:21
Look what too? Look what the what the
23:24
treacherous little little corpse monkeys drag to to my fine
23:31
establishment. I know you have a song for me
23:34
now. Oh yeah, no, not yet, not yet.
23:37
I didn't have a time frame. No, I didn't.
23:40
I said 1211123 episodes but. Well, that we've only been
23:45
through one episode. I mean, I mean ish.
23:50
Assuming they would be don't work greedy enough to Oh no no
23:54
no no no. No, no, no, no, no.
23:55
I mean, I mean you. I welcome the I am well, the
24:01
carrier of many names to many generations, but is always
24:06
forgotten in the clock and well, I assume.
24:13
You can all hear this. You're in the same fucking
24:15
drunk. Yeah, right.
24:16
Now, Oh, yeah, no, this is this is the guy that gave me this
24:19
silver tongue thing here. He wants me to make him write
24:22
him a song. I, I told him I would.
24:25
He's he's being really pushy about it.
24:27
I mean, choose, choose your words wisely.
24:30
I, I, I understand that. And I will honor your agreement.
24:34
I just haven't had a chance to write a song because I had to
24:38
fight a bunch of cannibalistic hillbillies and then, well, I
24:44
mean, it wasn't much of a fight. It was I don't want to get it.
24:47
You probably saw it, Whatever. And then?
24:51
We. I'll get you your song.
24:52
I'll. Get you your presence?
24:53
Check. OK.
24:54
I am unfortunately already in a different contract at the
24:58
moment. Even though my previous employer
25:00
has passed, I still have to deal with the notary office first
25:03
before I commit release myself from this existing contract.
25:08
What'd you get there? I got a three.
25:10
You feel that like one of your arms is starting to like kind of
25:13
like change, like the flesh becomes kind of like bubbly.
25:16
And that's like, oh, I. Understand you will have time to
25:19
remove people. Maybe this will do some artistic
25:24
inspiration on the. Way and you you see that like
25:27
your your veins are starting to reshape the outside of your arm
25:31
kind of twisting and warping and naturally until it grows eyes
25:36
and a mouth and turns into like the head of an incredibly brain
25:42
damaged Bard, always making inappropriate rhymes whenever
25:47
it's the least appropriate. It's kind of like drooling and
25:50
its face is like kind of like Elephant Man style.
25:52
Like it doesn't. It has a dumb little hat with
25:54
feather in it. I hate all this, I hate all
25:59
this. Who wants?
26:00
To play the Bard. Oh God.
26:05
We could all just. Be Jason to do anything right
26:06
now. Oh yeah, that's.
26:08
An idea if they can just. Chime in as the Bard.
26:10
Yeah, whatever rhymes or as inappropriately in context, feel
26:14
free to spit it out. You see like it drools and like
26:16
smiles, looks like waiting at you, up at you, with like Big
26:20
Blue eyes. Well, who the hell are you?
26:25
Who are you? What what are thou?
26:27
That is the question. We are all searching for
26:31
something deep inside doesn't it?
26:33
Like clenches one eye and you fart as you realize that it's
26:36
kind of connected to your internal anatomy.
26:39
Think you're better off if. You just put that thing.
26:44
Out. Yeah, I can help you with that.
26:45
I got this blade. For the rest of you, I believe,
26:48
well, I do have to have more. Well, if you are.
26:52
If you are more willing to honor your contracts and and I will
26:56
warn you there Boneford was it that my bargains don't come
27:02
along very often very often. This is well this is well must
27:05
be a very spectacular circumstances.
27:08
You appear to be well very very opportunistic individuals.
27:13
My gifts, my gift are not are to be rejectable likely and its
27:18
rewards and its prizes are extravagant.
27:24
See, I'm still going to have to decline on that because Mobius
27:27
has made me a airport reasonable offer in this partnership and
27:32
this is what got me in this mess to begin with.
27:35
So I'm going to kind of I'm politely decline.
27:38
He rolls his eyes and you see like kind of like in front of
27:42
you, it appears a little a little wooden cup the floats in
27:45
the air. You're like.
27:46
That powder keg must have been that keg of my blood must have
27:50
been like, must have hard to carry like.
27:52
Wouldn't it be better to carry it all and all the over the
27:56
reach of a little wooden cup but never empties?
28:00
And, and he's gonna like kind of like politely just push that
28:03
away. And he's like, no, no, no, the
28:05
drinking random crap got me here too.
28:07
Like I'm starting to have moments of clarity.
28:09
This is I'm I'm I'm waking up some weeks.
28:11
This is not I mean, I'm good, but but but this guy over here
28:16
pointing over at like he's a drinker, he's a.
28:19
Drinker No, no, that one was for you.
28:22
The cup ears and you pops up, you pop away and the red smoke
28:27
as you feel like a cold return to your body as far crushed will
28:33
no longer help you when you get rejected.
28:34
A boost devil and braless. He turns his his red eyes
28:39
towards you. So I can see you are, well, a
28:44
crafty carrier of your bones and broken pledges to false gods.
28:51
How about how about another contract?
28:56
What do you want? What do you need?
28:58
Oh, it's not what I want, it's what I can give an endless
29:02
supplies of shinies and of riches to carry you out of any
29:06
situation. Romeo D6.
29:08
Oh geez. All I want is return.
29:11
Return is your liver is your liver.
29:15
I don't think I can help you with that I.
29:18
It will be incredibly pain. It will be incredibly painless,
29:23
I assure you. And I know how to leave you.
29:25
Locate some strings, you will. You will feel well of a phantom
29:30
prick, that's all. So it's you can say it's almost
29:34
like losing nothing. Go ahead, take my liver.
29:38
You see kind of like your liver vital more vital than ever pops
29:42
up next to him as a shadowy claw takes it up and he starts like
29:47
munching on it as you definitely feel the pain from it.
29:50
Still, you're not sure where you got it from, as your toughness
29:53
is forever decreased by what I. Thought that was soup.
29:57
I don't know where the heck. Came from.
30:03
I'm at 0 toughness now. And you you feel your pouch
30:07
becoming significantly heavier as it almost like like radiants
30:12
radiates silver. I'm sure this will come in handy
30:15
at some moment. That's all of you who are
30:17
currently there, right? Yeah.
30:19
He snaps his shadowy fingers. The red mist disappears as bone
30:25
for it. You can roll me.
30:27
I perform me a check against 18. Not even a chance.
30:39
All right, that's AT12 and what's?
30:43
It for. Oh damn.
30:45
Well, you're absolutely certain as you feel like this
30:48
realization you came back. You feel your your drunkenness
30:51
kind of like leaving you as as cold as a reality returns and
30:56
and whoops you into shape. But it's it's it's you're you're
30:59
pretty sure that this cold can't ever hurt you.
31:02
Yeah, let's just say that it's fine.
31:04
You don't believe in the cold? Like a real working man.
31:09
And you see the rest of your fellow scum are standing there,
31:11
shivering to their bone. Except Rogue.
31:13
It looks OK, a little bit blue. OK, what was that?
31:18
You all just like you guys never shut up but you just stopped
31:21
talking for like 5 minutes? What was that?
31:23
What was going on? That was just us.
31:26
We had to take a break. As you wake up, a feeling of
31:51
dread washes over you. A low level adventuring party
31:54
killed you again. You hate their laughs and the
31:59
stupid feasts they throw in the town nearby, celebrating their
32:02
victory, and you flee again to yet another layer.
32:07
Here you plan their demise, their destruction.
32:10
Destruction, your revenge. Oh, if only Father can see you
32:16
now, he would be proud. What a piece of shit he was.
32:22
And that's exactly what you aim to become.
32:26
This is the start of your. Necrovenge is a standalone solo
32:33
game where you, as a failed necromancer, set out to get
32:37
revenge on those who wronged you.
32:38
Recruit minions, build traps and rebuild your dungeon while
32:42
trying to survive attacks from kings, Queens, that lunatic from
32:46
the neighboring town Burt, before at long last getting your
32:49
well deserved revenge. Now live at Kickstarter.
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Follow the link in the description below.
33:10
Well, some of you are sobering up.
33:12
Some of you are still being whipped into shape by more
33:17
bloodfirsty northern winds. You cannot see three feet ahead
33:24
of you as one of you, whoever's leading.
33:28
Kind of like, can you just see like this, this radiant green
33:33
right in front of your eyes, like you're looking through veil
33:35
as you see kind of like almost like like steam coming up from
33:39
right by your feet. And as you look down, you're
33:42
almost about to walk off the edge of a giant Canyon
33:45
stretching as far as the eye can see.
33:48
And grubs, you certainly remember that this did not used
33:51
to be. Here this this did not used to
33:55
be here. It's it's about like like 30
33:59
feet wide from one side to the other. 10 meters.
34:03
I was way longer. It's like like 30 meters.
34:05
It's stretches so far up. We've seen men so far both of
34:09
east and West that you do not see any end of it In between the
34:14
lashes of the northern wind and and through the Borealis, you
34:17
see that the monolith closer than ever.
34:20
It's it's and there's reaching towards you from far distance,
34:24
like almost like claws. As you look down, you do not see
34:27
that the bottom of the Canyon itself just as like cream thick
34:33
river, neon smoke swirling up. It's it's smoking tentacles from
34:39
down there. So how?
34:41
How are we supposed to get across this thing?
34:43
I don't know, it wasn't like that when I left it.
34:45
Was it just a small little crack or what?
34:47
No, you can just go straight across.
34:48
I mean, I don't know what the hell happened.
34:49
What'd you guys do to this place?
34:51
Or why you got to blame us. I don't know.
34:53
I wasn't here. It was your ancestors.
34:56
Yeah, fair. Yeah.
35:00
Anyone got rope? Some rope, you know, like.
35:04
Well, these did. 100 feet worth of rope.
35:07
Maybe, maybe we can shimmy across we're.
35:09
Going to go with Nope on the rope.
35:11
Nope. On the rope, no.
35:12
So gotcha. That was the Bard.
35:15
If only we had a monkey to throw into this crevice.
35:18
Deep. So from east to West, all we see
35:21
is. Just anxious, yeah, does not
35:26
seem to be getting any slimmer to each side.
35:28
But evaluating the whole Canyon would take hours, positive days
35:33
and then this weather. Yeah, you're not sure?
35:36
And it looks like just light coming up or like a liquid.
35:40
It's like smoke like like the steam almost getting getting
35:44
creamier and thicker further down you'd get.
35:47
So I feel warmed by the Canyon. Not warm, but definitely
35:53
humidor, yeah. But bones?
35:56
Gotcha. Like something has melted
36:00
recently almost. It's like a weird slightly below
36:04
0 kind of thing. Well, I say we just kind of walk
36:07
this Canyon a little bit and see if we can find a way around
36:12
maybe. I don't think I want to go
36:13
through. I got this big old sack here.
36:16
Now look at this. Thing.
36:18
Wow, wow, wow. Keep your sack to yourself.
36:21
There's a lady presence. No, no.
36:24
Well, maybe not. Right now, yes.
36:29
Everyone bonded after Mobius died.
36:32
Your death was the bonding. Moment, yeah.
36:36
So as you're going to like like trying to follow the Canyon up a
36:39
little bit, you see another silhouette standing fairly
36:43
visible, almost like the first time we met Paul the impaling
36:47
kind of like looking down into the steam be.
36:51
Ready. We might have to kill that.
36:54
Thing I'm on it. I I want to be sitting on the
36:56
ledge and trying to fish off this Canyon.
36:59
That was beautiful. Yeah, I'm like a little, I look
37:02
like a little. I have regular human legs and
37:06
I'm wearing like swim trunks. And then the top of me is like
37:09
the a crustacean, almost like a hermit crab a little bit.
37:13
What? Classroom.
37:14
I have, I'm a blighted murder man.
37:19
Yeah. And I have like for my head,
37:22
it's it's actually like a shark, shark mouth.
37:26
So I'm, I'm kind of a weird mix going on here.
37:28
I'm I'm covered in sticky substance too.
37:32
You know, you don't want to touch me.
37:33
I. Don't want to touch you in real
37:35
life. I kind of want to touch you in
37:39
real life. He's like.
37:40
Swinging his legs across the ledge, stair looking down.
37:44
I think it's a reindeer. I don't think you know what a
37:46
reindeer is, Frugal I. Don't think you shut up.
37:51
Hey there friend, you catch anything?
37:54
Oh, what's up, my guy? No, I I don't think I have yet
38:01
You know I'm it would probably help if I had a fucking string
38:05
for my fishing. You're.
38:09
Just. Been out here for a while.
38:13
I'm supposed to be like in water and shit, but the lakes fucking,
38:17
it's frozen over, you know? So I'm kind of lacking in the
38:20
water department. Well, that the mall rusts like,
38:23
you know, that's oh. Yeah, the mall.
38:27
You got any? Water on you by chance?
38:30
Squinchy, is that you? I don't know anyone named
38:33
Squinchy. How about you just hand over
38:37
some of that water and I don't have to get you covered in my
38:39
juice? This is all fucking terrible and
38:42
I'm going to walk up. Where are you going?
38:46
You know any good open water sources?
38:48
Or I I let. Let's see what it got here in
38:51
this wheelbarrow. I don't.
38:52
Know what's in there? What's a wheelbarrow?
38:58
I started like digging around what was in Mobius is.
39:03
There any water? Oh, is there a?
39:04
You were the. One that was doing a mystery
39:08
item there. Oh yeah.
39:09
Because it was a scroll or something, was it?
39:11
Yeah, I had an unclean scroll. See because you don't usually
39:15
use scrolls. Would that be water or fish?
39:17
Yeah, I'll, I'll say there. So I'll say there's a there's a
39:22
a water scandal with one ration of water left in it.
39:25
There we go. We got.
39:26
We got. I'm going to.
39:27
I'm going to stick my meaty claw in there, grab it real quick,
39:30
and then uncap that son of a bitch and just start dumping it
39:33
on my head. Yeah, like a little like a like
39:35
a like icy little crumble. Yeah, man, that's the good
39:40
stuff. Thank you.
39:43
Where are you guys headed? We're trying to get to the
39:46
monolith over there. That big fucking thing.
39:49
I don't know. I haven't been there yet.
39:54
Yeah, have you seen any sort of method of getting acrossed I've?
39:58
Been thinking about climbing down into this ravine.
40:00
I just want to get wet. There might be water down there
40:05
somewhere for all you know the. Problem is I have these click
40:09
clacks and they're not good for rocks.
40:11
So clean. Yeah, the the barge dump isn't
40:14
has nighter grubs. No, I don't think so.
40:20
So anyone been to the trees? Been around?
40:27
Yeah, fuck them. OK.
40:29
So you've been there. OK.
40:31
Any open water on there or? Just the lake.
40:37
I'm hoping that the monolith might have something.
40:39
If you're headed that way, I might join you.
40:42
You know a. Little a little bit.
40:46
Unless you're weird these. Guys are fucked.
40:51
I'm not even with you all. I walked off.
40:53
I don't even know why I'm still here.
40:55
So I'll follow you or. Yeah.
40:59
You're welcome to join us. In fact, here let me and I pull
41:03
out Mobius's contract that he had with me.
41:06
So I just need you to like put a signature here.
41:13
Just just put a claw clamp like right?
41:15
Here, sure. And I'm going to, I'm going to
41:20
take like I'm going to scrape across my weird crustacean chest
41:24
with all the glue and then wipe it on top of I got some big
41:28
meaty claws, man. If you get the stuff on you, it
41:30
might fuck you up a little. Bit.
41:33
I'm just like holding it kind of like to the side.
41:35
I'm not. Yeah, I don't want to touch you.
41:38
Touch you. This is new to me, I'm going to
41:39
just slap that thing real hard. Perfect.
41:42
All right. Welcome aboard.
41:47
And as you're about to shake hand and claws as a contract is
41:51
signed, a terrible gust of wind rushes towards you and the two
41:56
of you standing standing closest to the edge can make me a
41:59
gallery check. Oh boy.
42:01
Wait, I have AI have a really low center of gravity, does not
42:04
help. Me any I'm.
42:06
Going to go heading home in that oh.
42:08
Shit. OK.
42:12
That was an 11. Fuck, I'm.
42:15
I'm using my only omen. We got a, we got a five, we got
42:20
a. Five.
42:21
All right. So I'm going to say that the
42:24
wind kind of like blows the contract and both of your well
42:30
fellows come one of the well, the crap man who just signed the
42:33
contract would make makes him technically part of your party
42:36
off the edge. As you look through look at the
42:38
fear in each other's eyes as a plunge down and you just see
42:42
like a poof from the creamy smoke down there as they
42:45
disappear into it. I'm going to get back to the two
42:47
of you in a bit as you hear their screams as well.
42:50
Grubs as you're you're kind of like trying to follow the trail
42:53
further up and see if see if there's any way of passage here.
42:57
And I hear their screams coming from the the chasm.
43:00
Yeah, you hear them like their their screams become more and
43:03
more guessing. For me.
43:04
Just clicks. They they don't really stop, but
43:07
they echo loudly as they go on for a long, long time.
43:10
Oh God. Gotta be kidding me, I just got
43:15
here. Wait for a time.
43:19
I'm gonna peer over the edge and see if I can see where their
43:23
where their voices came from, or if I could see where they fell
43:26
through. You still hear their screams.
43:29
It's been seconds. They're still falling and
43:32
clackering of of mandible things.
43:35
OK, well. That guy looked like dinner and
43:38
I'm. Going to start climbing down.
43:42
OK, yeah. Did anyone follow Frugal?
43:45
I guess I will. I'm trying to get to the
43:49
monolith, so that's the only way across.
43:51
You're on the justice mission. Come.
43:54
On soup, let's. Go Should we?
43:56
Should we tell grubs? To a minute.
44:00
I'm down. I did watch.
44:05
We're going across the cavern. Come on.
44:08
That seems like a terrible idea. What other choice do we have?
44:13
Life I have close to your presence.
44:15
You go back. As you start whoever starts
44:18
climbing, make mitigating checks.
44:20
Well, unless you have climbing gear of any sorts.
44:24
Oh, these? Dude oh God I have very heavy
44:28
armor on so Oh no. I imagine actually the
44:31
wheelbarrow would be left up on the ledge. 16 Is that enough to
44:35
make it? That's more than enough.
44:36
Yeah, I. Got it.
44:37
Good. I got. 12:00 You got 12?
44:40
Yeah, that's also enough. All right, I'm going to walk
44:43
back to where the wheelbarrow is and I'm going to look over the
44:46
edge. Come.
44:47
On down I'm. Going to look over and I'm going
44:50
to look at the wheelbarrow and I'm actually going to take the
44:53
wheelbarrow up to the edge. Oh.
44:55
Yes, you can add that. And I'm.
44:57
Going to hop into the wheelbarrow and then I'm going
44:59
to say hi, my name is Grubbs and this is Jackass and I'm going to
45:04
go down the hill. It's meanwhile camera kind of
45:12
like assumes as we see that that little wheelbarrow kind of like
45:16
like just going off the Cliff and there's no edge.
45:19
And just like falls, camera pans down into the smokers dancing
45:25
various hues of a natural neon fades through and someplace down
45:31
there, deep, deep down, the screaming stops as bone fret.
45:38
It feels as if your your gut is about to escape your mouth, your
45:42
throat as you see you're suddenly caught midair after
45:45
falling for what seems like an eternity.
45:48
Your eyes lock lock with strange crab creature in front of you as
45:53
you're both kind of like hovering on your stomach,
45:55
surrounded by these tendrils of mist that are reflecting colors
45:59
in the ice around you and you're hovering in thin air.
46:02
This is really unexpected. Yeah, this is new, Huh.
46:06
It's kind of like AI don't know. I've never been in this.
46:10
It's almost like bed in water, but it's not quite muzzling.
46:13
Not much enough. Oh.
46:19
I guess let's try and get to the other side and climb back.
46:22
Up yeah, just, you know, push off my crustaceous body and and
46:28
maybe we got some like the zero. Gravity stuff.
46:31
However, you're you're kind of like stop half sentence as
46:35
whoever of you is the most, well, the least oblivious to
46:39
your surroundings. Notice something looking back at
46:43
you from right behind the scum floating in front of you.
46:46
A giant strange slug like about the size of like a truck
46:52
creature trap behind the ice. Its eyes are moving wildly
46:56
around, all 24 of them on its head as giant warping antlers.
47:03
It looks looks like a abomination of a different age.
47:07
You don't know how long it's been trapped behind there.
47:10
And as your eyes move around, survey the area, you see there's
47:13
plenty of similar strange and alien creatures.
47:17
All ants they're wearing. I have the ability to talk to
47:21
fish. Are you these aquatic related
47:23
animals? Oh man.
47:27
Damn, give me a give me a these text one in six chance.
47:32
V6. There's like hundreds of them.
47:35
Oh my fucking God. Alright, we're going to get get
47:43
back to you on that. That's a, that's a perfect
47:45
moment for sure. So yeah, the rest, the rest of
47:47
you that who are climbing down have noticed that the screaming
47:50
has stopped until it starts again as you see the silhouette
47:54
of a wheelbarrow, kind of like peering into the smoke falling
47:58
downwards. And it just feels like it was a
48:00
terrible idea. What?
48:04
The heck was that? Am I still in the wheelbarrow,
48:08
just plummeting? You're falling out of it now,
48:10
like it's erasing it towards the bottom, more or less.
48:14
Hammers and tools and rope all kind of like, like floating in
48:18
the air. Drawings approval.
48:20
Yeah. As you're coming because you're
48:23
all going downwards or falling, you notice that it becomes
48:27
significantly easier or or well gravity starts working with far
48:31
against you depending on how you see it as as your legs start
48:34
kind of floating and you have to pull yourself down as your
48:38
vision is obscured and and soon you're all met with these
48:41
strange alien sites down here as you also find your friends
48:46
floating around in thin hair. Oh, here you live.
48:49
Kind of this weird kind smells of Stouffer.
48:53
These are all terribly disturbing.
48:54
So so. Glad you could join us.
48:57
I brought your wheelbarrow. It's.
48:58
There's something that looks like a 2 headed crow with like 6
49:02
antlers sticking out from its head and down its spine.
49:06
All these creatures eyes are moving and following you.
49:10
I'm going to try to Willy Wonka swim my way through the bubbly
49:14
air and get to the closest fish looking one and try to like lick
49:19
the ice away. I'm I'm hungry.
49:22
Please, tongue gets stuck to the ice.
49:24
And it does. As you lick the ice, you feel it
49:28
like it sticks. As your eye lock, eyes lock in
49:31
of the creature. OK, I'm covered.
49:33
In female can I? Use that as an escape method.
49:36
And you feel like a strange connection with it.
49:38
Oh fuck. As it locks into you and
49:41
telepathically it connects you. You are not like them.
49:46
Like them you have you have you did not.
49:49
You didn't carry their their sadism, their.
49:53
Their hatred. Hatred for us and our.
49:56
Children, our children. Pretty simple laid back
49:59
crustacean if you amazing. Amazing.
50:04
So long. So long since we've met with
50:08
unspoiled, spoiled young meat. Such kind meat.
50:14
Peaceful meat. Oh yeah, I'm I'm all about the
50:19
peace, but you smell delicious. You are the the moist.
50:27
It it blinks sideways and kind of like more more.
50:31
You want me to lick more or? More, more, yes, yes, more.
50:35
Keep licking and you see that like I, I drop plates away and
50:39
it's like, no, the ice is too strong.
50:42
For now. For now, our time has not yet
50:45
come yet come. But she this mistaggler S she is
50:50
already seeking vengeance for a kind aeons of imprisonment.
50:54
Yeah. I you know, I'd like the keys to
50:57
the front door too. I've been dry for a long time.
51:01
And all the rest of you see like this strange like like notion
51:05
going on there as you can give me like a like a presence check
51:08
to see if you're clean enough to receive the message as well. 17.
51:13
1612. Damn.
51:14
Damn. Yeah.
51:15
Damn, son. We're the cleanest.
51:17
He's. Dirty.
51:20
He's dirty. Who is the only one who didn't
51:22
make it the vibe? Yeah, Bone Freddy.
51:24
You see all of their their kind of like eyes lock in on the
51:27
creatures at the same time as they start like their their arms
51:30
are kind of like lowering as they TuneIn and you all receive
51:34
these strange images of almost like Neanderthal like people who
51:39
are like running away from these terrible ancient creatures now
51:43
out now well not trapped in ice. They feast on humanity for eons
51:49
before they are eventually captured and trapped in ice.
51:54
One of them older and well more blood thirsty than the others.
51:59
For the first eons she's forced to breed their children and you
52:02
see like more and more dysformed alien creatures being squished
52:07
out from the ice and brought up to be well domesticated and
52:12
slaughtered until many generations later.
52:15
They look harmless, 4 legged and homogenic.
52:20
They're trapped in pens and butchered, flayed and eaten, and
52:26
even fed to the altar connected directly to Staglaris herself.
52:32
Calm to God. Your answer?
52:33
The goddess of your ancestors were claiming to worship.
52:38
But you do realize that that is far from the truth.
52:40
Children are being lied to, including yourself, as they will
52:44
never know like the truth about that, the truth about what
52:46
really happened here. Not until today when it's been
52:49
revealed to you. And this is pretty fucked up to
52:52
all of you, as it's like a very sensory experience of exactly
52:55
what has happened over the entire, well, history of what
52:58
you call unliving humanity. So all of you can roll me AD 6
53:03
to see how it fits you. Except.
53:05
I'm a I'm of the crustacean type.
53:08
Yeah, you know. I I feel like these warm blooded
53:11
mammals are just. Oh, it's AZ 4, not AV 6, by the
53:15
way. So yeah, yeah, of course you
53:16
would have to roll grab Man and. Not me, because Valfrom didn't
53:21
get this vision. You know, what the fuck are they
53:23
doing? They're just like fooling
53:24
around. They're like morons.
53:25
I'm. Climbing out of this thing.
53:27
Yeah, you start, you start swimming upwards, Yeah.
53:30
I got a two, got a 2. You got a 2.
53:32
I got a three. So whoever, no one got a four,
53:37
really. Okay, no Christmas special I
53:42
could. Reroll.
53:43
Yeah, but one of you who got a two or let's reroll, just see if
53:46
we got four and. We'll make it a four.
53:49
Excellent. Wait a minute.
53:51
So probably you got a two. You feel eaten a lot of flesh
53:57
and it starts feeling heretical, like dirty, like you.
54:00
You'd really like I like the meat was not well, didn't have a
54:03
chance against you. You will not be able to eat meat
54:07
ever again unless it's human. Typical Monday.
54:12
That's who got a three. Me.
54:15
Grubs, I got a four, so that's that's that's very suiting.
54:20
Well, these creepies alien gods are lying to you.
54:24
This is pure heresy or dumb and makes you sick to your stomach.
54:29
These lies will not bite on you. You will wage war on the antlers
54:34
for the antlers freaks, just like your father, just like your
54:38
father and his father before and done for generations.
54:41
You will attack anything with horns.
54:44
And there's a line here that I'm going to leave out because it
54:46
will make itself, but I mean anything.
54:49
Was that for me or was that for Levi?
54:50
That was forever for whoever got it through.
54:52
That was Levi. OK, It was Levi.
54:54
Yeah. OK, so forget the fathers and
54:56
fathers stuff. It says Levi.
54:58
You, you hate them. Everything goes bad.
54:59
There's some forever. Attack it inside.
55:01
Awesome. I mean that fits for him since
55:03
he's the Inquisitor. That worked out Will.
55:05
Yep, they they slaughtered you. Well, that's what you came here
55:09
for. And you feel your hatred burning
55:10
even purer now, now. Well, this is very fitting,
55:13
especially considering the stump on your your arm and your, your
55:16
very complex background. You feel a pain as your bones
55:22
rearrange and you all hear these groans and screams from grubs as
55:27
his skull crushes outwards and his his his body's changing.
55:32
Something is like his hair starts growing like like creamy
55:36
brown and naturally fast as something is like like
55:40
puncturing his forehead stretching out like tendrils,
55:44
blood shedding and skin flaming from them until he is.
55:49
It looks like antlers. Yeah, until Grubbs is turned
55:53
into a beautiful, majestic reindeer.
55:58
This is insanity. With a Barb hand.
56:01
With a with a Barb hand, Yeah, Barb hand.
56:04
You can still speak. You can still do human stuff,
56:07
except wielding weapons. But yeah, you also get a set of
56:13
beautiful antlers. Let's roll on the antler table
56:16
and see what they look like. OK, that way we roll AD 4.
56:21
AD 4 for antlers. That's a 2 on the antler table.
56:27
You have tiny horns that peek out of the skin on your
56:30
forehead. They are adorable and deal 2D2
56:32
damage and. I see this.
56:34
Yeah. So then I hit them with my
56:36
fucking glave. Yeah, you.
56:38
I hit it. With my glave.
56:41
You rush towards swim like kind of like against the current of
56:46
anti gravity. Someone else swing my glave at
56:50
him. OK.
56:51
How do you guys want to do this? The initiative, I guess, Yeah,
56:56
No, no, because I wouldn't expect him to come after me.
56:58
So he would get a free a free. Tax mutation would actually get
57:02
him. Anamorphed for the first time
57:04
ever, I would not be suspecting anything to happen to me.
57:07
No, absolutely not. No.
57:09
Yeah, while Levi is swimming over, I'd say.
57:13
One question. One question, yes.
57:15
Can I bide you? I'll give Frugal a little wink.
57:23
That's a guess. No, the blame comes towards your
57:25
head. I want to use an omen to roll
57:27
that 17. You want to try to try to beat
57:34
that. Yeah.
57:40
He looks defeated. That's a one.
57:43
A natural. 1A natural one. Is that double damage?
57:48
That's double damage. Is that Max?
57:51
Yeah, Max damage is right, yeah. Fuck, that's 16 damage.
57:55
Damn, so you see, like frugal takes kind of like seat on grubs
58:00
his back. No, no, I hadn't grabs.
58:02
I was still, I was like floating there next to him, talking to
58:05
him when Levi came in. Yeah, so you're like, take your
58:07
hands on his neck, ready to like, lip raise your leg
58:12
astronaut style. I suddenly like this like as you
58:16
and the head kind of like hover off away from the rest of the
58:19
body as you see like grubs terrified eyes shocked in a
58:23
beautiful reindeer scream as the rest of the body is floating on
58:26
the other side. You all die by my blade.
58:30
No busty. Every single.
58:33
My royal mount, new monster. Wait, did you say 16 damage?
58:42
Yeah, my blade does 8 double. Oh damn, that's fucked up.
58:51
Proper. Fucked up.
58:53
And as approval is like floating away with the head there and
58:57
like reindeer blood as as kind of like a lava lamp going out in
59:01
in the air. You see like Sebastian's and I
59:06
just got that joke. Sebastian's is locked onto
59:11
locked onto the ice wall. Yeah, the 24 eyes on the strange
59:15
crowdfing behind their locks into yours and then over to
59:19
degrubs body as it's antediluvian lips form some
59:24
words that sound a little bit like something like Does that
59:28
look infected? Anything you want to plug,
59:37
Daniel? Yeah, you can find me on Daniel
59:41
Harrillo dot H dot IO. Black Anthers will be available
59:44
in Zen format and Deluxe edition both as PDFs and physical from
59:50
Exalted Funeral in September or October.
59:54
You can find the soundtrack on Gila morrises.bandcamp.com and
1:00:00
I'll be shooting the Shit and Roll Standard discord I guess.
1:00:03
Beautiful Hey everybody Kevin at the envy
1:00:53
episode. This episode features the
1:00:54
adventure Black Antlers by Daniel Carlson with Levi playing
1:00:57
braless the catapult St. by the cootie, Jake playing Mobius to
1:01:01
the indopo Mountaineer by Rudos cone and some nameless slighted
1:01:05
merman by chalk down and June Thomas playing ball for it.
1:01:08
The Death witch by Bracken the cloud, Kevin playing Grubs, the
1:01:11
mystery gotten relic by Nick Trujillo and Walt playing
1:01:14
Frugal, the knocked X Wolf Vandenberg.
1:01:16
Check out all these cool things and the respective X livers.
1:01:19
More fork entries and the description accompanying this
1:01:22
episode. And while you're at it, check us
1:01:23
out on our social medias, our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
1:01:27
blue sky and thread, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
1:01:30
Make sure to rate, review, and share with all of your friends
1:01:34
so we can get out there to more people.
1:01:36
While we're at it, if you haven't already, please check
1:01:38
out our sister podcast, The World Standard.
1:01:41
And if you like what they're doing over there, think about
1:01:43
joining their Patreon. It gives you access to their
1:01:45
Discord, which you can talk to us as well because we're on
1:01:47
there. And just for $3 a month.
1:01:49
With that, thanks for listening and we'll catch you guys next
1:01:52
time. Lick my butts and suck my nuts.
1:02:01
Let's rain this here. How many butts do you have?
1:02:03
Yeah, multiple butts. You don't have to.
1:02:05
He's got a front butt. You got that front butt.
1:02:08
Yeah, that manager's body. Some of a face butt.
1:02:11
Just like that more Inquisitor. Welcome back to Flail to the
1:02:15
Face. What?
1:02:20
I'm sorry, Kevin. That that's.
1:02:23
What a way to? Go.
1:02:25
I was at reindeer for .5 seconds and.
1:02:29
Then, like you were recapitated. And you were beautiful.
1:02:32
You had adorable and horns. Everything was like I'm.
1:02:36
Taking grubs head with me. Oh.
1:02:39
Please. Tell you what, that's what you
1:02:45
get for following your heart just leads in heartbreaking
1:02:47
death. Like any good horror movie,
1:02:50
horny in the woods means death. Well, that's what we can.
1:02:53
Call this one Horny in the woods.
1:02:57
Means death. Nailed it.