Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep61: Nick meets the stinkiest thing ever; Evelyn will never trust another cooler.

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Ep61: Nick meets the stinkiest thing ever; Evelyn will never trust another cooler. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's revolution.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Speaking of good feelings, uh, the podcast is a good feeling in a 20-minute bundle.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's what people keep telling me.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I hear.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's where it's on the street.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Is what I that's what I have it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was on a few streets today and I heard it everywhere I went.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was from me.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: I was saying it aloud.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's just as important.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think that we got a good thing going here.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I would absolutely love to record an episode right now.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: Or would you love to join me first?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Let's do it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Evelyn, that's all I want.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's great.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's great.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna lead us in today.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Folks, welcome back to the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Nick is bowing his head, folding his hands in prayer, which is kind of what I feel like I should be doing every time he brings us in because it does have a feeling of reverence and almost a spiritual experience here.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Nick is now clenching his eyes and face so much that I do fear that he is having a bowel movement on his office.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I trust you, Lord.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: I trust you, Lord.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: But I can't trust her.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: You shouldn't trust me.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody, I just think that's a really dangerous, that's a dangerous game to play, my friend.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm Evelyn, the Canadian Blade, as deemed by Nick and I back in our first episode, which is like at least, oh gosh, a good 50 episodes back by now.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, go back, check that out if you haven't already.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: If you jumped, if you jumped on the road of the reverse jackass podcast mid uh mid-flow here, go back and go back and reacquaint yourself with our earlier episodes.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's gonna be worth it, is what I'm telling you.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be worth it for you.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna feel so much better.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: We guarantee at least a 10% quality of life improvement over the course of this podcast.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, if you don't have that, you can email us at reversejackass at gmail.com.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: We'll give you your money back.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and with me here, as always, the most steadfast steed there ever was, it's Nick.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Nick, would you say hello to the people now?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, people.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Good to see you, good to be with you.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: So this episode today, it's a Nick episode.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: And this episode, normally Nick shoots from the hip.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's real uh very sudden, very, I don't want to say impulsive, but spontaneous.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Nick comes up.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Spontaneous is a nice way to say it, yeah.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Nick comes up with a a prompt on the fly, something, a quality I really admire.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: But this prompt came to me in a text when Nick was on vacation, and and it just said, write this down for podcast, what I found in my fridge in Chicago.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: So, with that, with that extensive in-depth intro, which is all I can provide to you at this point, listeners, I would love for for Nick to continue the story.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: So the title of the story is The Stinkiest Thing Ever.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to tell the story of moving into my second Chicago apartment.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I I got a hookup from a friend to talk to his landlady who was nice and gave him a good rate, and she had an apartment.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And just to give you a notion, this was in 2006, I think.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just to just to really rub everybody's noses in it, it was a it was a large, one bedroom, two large living room apartment in a nice neighborhood in Chicago, and it was six hundred dollars a month.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: For two bedrooms?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: One bedroom, two large living rooms.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: One bedroom.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was not fancy, but it was large and it was in a safe neighborhood, and it was close to stuff, and it was$600 a month.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think that costs now?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think that the rent for that would be now?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean it's Chicago still, so it's cheaper, but my if I were betting man, I'd say probably$1,500.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if we could look it up.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been to Chicago in a million years, so I don't know what the rents are like there, but it was again in a in a like a not famous neighborhood.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like in Wrigleyville where everybody knows it and they call it.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: It was in a neighborhood called North Center, which is not specific and kind of a little like a little suburban, but it was like safe and close to stuff, and there was parking available on the streets, and you know, it was still in Chicago, which sucks, but the apartment, like for that value, couldn't beat it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the landlady was super nice.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So she says, I have this apartment I want you to check out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I go with her to meet the apartment, and the current tenant is moving out.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: And just as a side note, this isn't relevant to the story, but the current tenant's last name was a slur.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I won't deign to say it here.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I won't say what the slur was, and I won't deign to pronounce the slur the way that my landlady pronounced it.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, oof, that's that's a tough name.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Oh, I don't think it's that.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's this.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's French.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I speak French.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's not how that's pronounced.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's not it.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's can you, okay.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I know we can't spend a ton of time on this slur, and you can't spend as much time as we want to, you just have to edit it out.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: We do.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: I want, well, I see, I don't I don't even want you to tell me because I want I want there to be a bit of mystery around it.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, can you tell me the letter that it started with?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but that will just give it away.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be yeah, I mean, you know, there's only so many letters that slurs start with.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: What I will say is that you speak French too.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I speak French too.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if a if a word ends in E T, how is the end of that word pronounced?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh um, the end of that word, I know exactly.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: I already know what was.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Bourgee.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Famous French.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, A.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: A, right?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: If a if a if a word ends in E T T.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's et.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just say it ended in E T T.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, E T T.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, E T T E or just E.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: It was not the E.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it would, it would not be a thing where French people would have it and go, ah, Piaget.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Know what I'm saying?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That extra T on the end.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: If it ended in E T, that would be A.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: It ended in E T T.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: If it ended in E T T T E, that would be and I'm the podcast audience is loving this, by the way.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Three of them that speak French are like, oh, baby, take me down the rabbit hole.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is, that's just a little side note is that this poor person lived her whole life with this slur as a last name.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: Can I ask one question?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: One last question.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Of course.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: Were there two Gs or one G in this last name?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think you know there were two.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, yeah, that's okay Yeah, it wasn't I'm not I wasn't reaching for this.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I would have loved for it to be French.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would have loved for that to be the case.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think it came from somewhere in the United Kingdom.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: From centuries ago.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_02: Centuries ago.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Centuries ago.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately people would gather bundles of things.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: These are the names that people have that where you only have two options.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we'd have three.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: If you get married, you take their last name.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: If you get married, you create a new last name with your partner.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: Or if you don't get married, you legally change your last name.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love how old-fashioned you were that two of your three solutions were like, you gotta get married.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, look, the only option.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Find a man to save you.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta feminist, Evelyn.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, listen, listen, ladies.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Find a cigarette and take a drag on it right now.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I got your advice right here.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, that would be the only time I met this person.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: She was totally nice.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: She had an enormous scary dog.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the apartment looked good, and I said I want to move in.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is when my lease runs out.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So there was like a month between when the other person's lease ran out and when my lease ran out on my original apartment.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we agreed that I would just start the follow like a month after this person moved out.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So time comes, pack up all my stuff, I move it down to the new apartment, which fortunately was only a couple miles from the old apartment, packing everything in, and I just open the fridge because you do, because it's your new fridge.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I opened it, and there was nothing in the fridge except for one takeout bag from the Cheesecake Factory.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and the smell that hit me was arresting.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: It could have knocked me flat.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was an instant gag.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was poison.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was a poison smell, right?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was wretched and vile.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this came from inside a takeout container, inside a takeout bag, in a refrigerated space.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Granted, that it had been there for a month.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the fridge was still on.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: The fridge was on the whole time.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, okay.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I slammed the door shut.
• 8:34
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gagging.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, this is the worst fucking thing ever.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, oh, what was in there?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like, oh, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I closed the door and the kitchen smelled bad for three hours.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to say the door was open for four seconds.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: One 1000, two, one thousand, three, one thousand, four, one thousand.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: For three hours, this kitchen smelled like I don't I can't compare it.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I can't say, like, oh, it smelled like a pile of shit.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it smelled like a rotting body.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, it smelled like something I've never smelled before, and it was pervasive and it stuck.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like paralyzed by it.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I moved all the rest of my shit in, and I I thought, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went in the next day and I was chatting with a friend at work about it, and his father had been a police officer, and he said, he said, Well, you know what cops do?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I don't know what cops do.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Well, you know, cops have to pull up on scenes with dead bodies all the time.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: What they do is they keep a pack of menthol cigarettes, which by the way, back in the day I was never upset at having to buy a pack of cigarettes, menthol or otherwise.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: He said they take it, they buy a pack of menthol cigarettes, they tear the filters off, and then they stick the cigarettes in their nostrils.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know this already?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, I couldn't.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: I wondered if you were gonna say cigarettes or tampons, to be honest.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: You thought you thought I was gonna say cops shove tampons up their noses?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but like with I mean, now that you say it, it sounds ridiculous, but like that's it.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: It sounded ridiculous before I said it.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you said it, it sounded ridiculous.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: No, I was thinking like with some kind of like like I don't know, peppermint bridge.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like you know, if you if you just if you just take some kind of lubricant and then just no kind of no even a feminine shame spray.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's what they that's what they all are.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's every any spray for women is a spray of shame.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So here I am, Detective Bogner with his with his fucking summer's eve.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, I with manila fields.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: In my sundress, arms trailing behind me.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: One of two living rooms that I have in my cheap new stinky apartment.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, like I've I've also heard that for nosebleeds.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's a good thing to do if you have a nosebleed that won't stop.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: You stick a tampon up your nose.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well anyway, so okay, no, menthol cigarettes.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Way cooler.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Way cooler.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Tear the filter off them, put the cigarettes in your nostrils, and then deal with it.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he said it it neutralizes the smell of dead bodies.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it'll be good for this.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I stopped at the 7-Eleven on the way home and I got a pack of menthol cigarettes, and I tore the filters off of two of them, and I shoved them in my nostrils.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I should have got oh, they got smoked.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry, they got smoked.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I've I've never wasted a cigarette in my whole life.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I go into the kitchen and I open the thing and wouldn't you know it?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: It did nothing.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think it did nothing.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I could smell the menthol, but the smell was so pervasive that it was it went through the menthol.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm breathing through my mouth, but I'm terrified.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what am I pulling?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: What toxins am I pulling into my fucking lungs from this thing?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I just read an article the other day that, like, actually, that's a real thing that like abandoned restaurants and grocery stores that like they have to have professionals that get, yeah, like because the the bacteria and the fungus that can grow on those things is poisonous.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I got a paper towel and I grabbed this bag of fucking Cheesecake Factory leftovers and I ran, ran, didn't walk, ran all the way through the apartment, ran down the two flights of stairs, ran out the back, threw it in the dumpster, and then my kitchen stank for another four hours, and then eventually it neutralized and it was gone.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to say that that whatever the previous tenant left in my fridge was stinkier than a decomposing body.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a that's a did you leave a review on Cheesecake Factories?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love Cheesecake Factory, and they're not paying me to say that either.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what happened.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a human head in that bag.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing is that I'll never know.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never know what she ordered that became so gross.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be something that I really love.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never know.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have the guts to open it.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: But but between the fact that it it overcame the cigarettes and the fact that with very minimal exposure, the smell remained in my kitchen for hours afterwards really tells me how fucking vile this thing was.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that until I hear a different story, that's the stinkiest thing that ever existed.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Stinkier than any body that ever any any cop has ever had to roll up onto.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Stinkier than any shameful feminine odor.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um I really think that if the because the menthol cigarettes didn't do it for you, I think you needed a a couple of heavy-duty absorbance with a little bit of slave by Brittany Spears right on there.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: What I probably needed to do was light a fire and sage the whole thing.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So my question for you, Evelyn, and this is not a softball, is what is the stinkiest thing that you've ever encountered in your life?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is a good question, and that's a great story.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: I was really hoping this was the prompt because it, I mean, this is relatable because I imagine that anyone who's listening to this is thinking of the stinkiest thing they've ever encountered in their entire life.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And they can they can start their own podcast.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: They can start you start your own stinky podcast, you poachers.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Assholes.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: I uh but on that note, I do want to say um we want to know what the stinkiest things you've ever encountered are.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: We like like please describe them in detail.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: I've got a I've got a weak stomach, but I'm not afraid.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm not scared of the stuff that you've smelt.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just put it that way.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll make merch that says so.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'll make a t-shirt that says I'm not afraid of the things you've smelled in your life.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have the balls to make that shirt.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Just one shirt though, just for just for me.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay, the stinkiest thing I've smelt.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: There's a few that came to mind.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you can think of things in your day-to-day life like a like a rotten potato that got hidden in the back of a cupboard or something, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's pretty stink.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's the worst.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's I haven't experienced that, but I've heard rotten potatoes are legendarily bad.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: They are like not like the potato is a pretty unassuming thing.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: You would think that it would go out quietly, but I think because it lives such an unassuming, simple, shapeless life, it decides to go out with it craves a legacy.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: It craves a legacy, and it is known.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think anyone who has smelled a rotting potato is able to go, oh yeah, that's that is a terrible, awful smell.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Something else we've smelled, like because I've lived on a farm, um, you know, you get like little mice or something.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: If a mouse dies in your house somewhere, that is a smell that can be that's kind of gross, and often you can't find it easily.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: So there is that sense of like, where is that smell and where and how quickly can I sell this house?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: And how can is burning down the house with that go under insurance fraud?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: To get rid of the house.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the stinkiest things I smelled that maybe is a unique experience, let's say, and it requires a bit of setup to this story.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: The university we have in the city, their school year finishes at the end of April.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so you have a major student exodus at the end of April, typically not the beginning of May, because they're gone by then, but we get we get a lot of international students, or we used to anyway, and just everyone leaves.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what they do often, if they're international students and they have a house full of stuff, they can't leave with their stuff, right?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of stuff is often left behind.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: Landlords hire house cleaners, and there are often like mountains of things at curbs.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: So there's bags of food, like they do fridge clean out, there's bags of cupboard clean out, bags of clothes, bags, like there's tupperware, there's lamps, there's furniture.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_02: So for a few years, a group of friends and I, it was not my idea, but she invited me to come along.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: A group of friends and I do what we call dump diving.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: And we would walk along the street.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's gotta be a better name for it than that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Nope, that's literally diving.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's what our group chat is called.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Dump diving divas is what it's actually called.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's sad.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's a sad group chat.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: It you know what?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: No, because the the the stuff we find, we remove the shame.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like vanilla fields sprayed on middle-aged armpits.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: We remove the shame.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can I workshop a theme song for the dump diving divas for you?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I would love it if you did.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Dump diving divas, the lowest of the low.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: Dump diving divas, nowhere but up to go.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna hit the road someday, you and I.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm pretty sure it's yeah, yeah, it's what's gonna happen.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: And we have two songs now that we can we can do.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: No, we just need the filler.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: It shouldn't be a problem.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: It shouldn't be a problem.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, on a side note, I will speaking of songs, I I wrote a song years ago, and sometimes I sit down at the piano and I sing whatever comes out of my mouth.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't know how I'm gonna keep this in this episode, but I will somehow.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I just like I get the impulse to sit at the piano and I just like honky tonk something out, and I just start singing whatever.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: And this song was called Somebody Pooped in the Garden.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it goes a little something like this, and I can sing it because I wrote it, so no one's getting paid for this.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_02: Bum bum bum.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody pooped in the garden, somebody pooped in the sea, somebody pooped in the garden, and I'm here to tell you it's not me, it's Tucker Carlson.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: Tucker blamed it on the pool, boy.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: Tucker blamed it on me.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: Bum bum bum Tucker, you're blaming it on anybody else, but you know, Tucker, you can't blame that shit on me.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Boom, boom.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I sat and I just recorded it.
• 18:21
  unknown: Wow.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm impressed for two things.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: First off, very solid song.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thought so.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, I didn't know Canadians hated Tucker Carlson as much as we do.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we don't hate him as much as you do, but we do hate him.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: This was even before, like I'm telling you, I came up with this pre-pandemic.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I think it's been terrible for many, many, many years.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's been terrible, but but not terrible, like terrible up here, but we know of him more now, I think.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I just I just came up with it because I thought the name was hilarious.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, what a dumb name.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm this is maybe like 2018, 2017.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: I just haven't sung it in that long.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: So uh it's in the archives forever.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so I'm glad, yeah, incredible recall, but also it's a dumb name to you.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: But 700 years ago, when people would need to take their things to the one guy in the village who could tuck them, you know, it was a meaningful name.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Fair, fair.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, hey, this thing's hanging out.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Could you tuck that for me?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Did you get get on your steed and go to the tucker for that?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then they were like, Oh, he's noble, he's a noble member of our community.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sorry that that's not good enough for you just because this job became obsolete.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's not.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: We don't need anyone to tuck up here.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like Canadians are self-tucking.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: That's true.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, um, just a little intermission there.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that I think that I really would appreciate you learning how to Travis pick on the guitar to make this song better.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: I bet I could.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you absolutely could.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: I know you could, yeah.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think I have a voice note somewhere.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: I might send it to you.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, okay, stinkiest thing, dump diving.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Let's get back on track.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, dump diving, please.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't, I was just shooting my shot in case any agents are listening to this.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I so um stuff all along the curbs.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: We have found let me tell you a little bit about what we have found before.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: We have found like new things that have never been opened, new unexpired food, like canned goods.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: So our our deal was that anytime we would see food that's still good, not open, not expired, we would gather it all up, fill someone's vehicle, and take it to the food bank.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that was kind of what we would do.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Laundry pods, like Tide Pods, laundry pods.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, we keep those.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's a finder's keepers rule with something, unless you're like, hey, do you want these?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I really do.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: So many clothes, like just and stylish clothes, aritzia, Zara, like just design, like really expensive clothes.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we gathered up all the clothes in a bag, drop them off at the Goodwill or something like that, you know?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or the women's community house, anything like that.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: So we're trying to, we're really going through, we're keeping some stuff for ourselves.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I found a lot of stuff for classrooms, like I would grab pens, markers, any pencil cases that were left behind, binders, paper, all that went to my classroom.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, really, like there was a lot of good stuff in there.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: We have found pairs of Uggs.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: I found a Chromebook, like a Google Chromebook one year with the charger that my husband, the faithful IT servant that he is, completely wiped, restored, like restored it, and I gave it to one of our classrooms in our school so a kid can have some tech to use, right?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like this stuff is just going in a landfill, otherwise.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: So it is it is kind of a fun game.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: But sometimes you don't always find a jackpot in the way that you want to.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_02: One time I found one of those massive drink coolers, you know, the kind with the spout on the bottom.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, this is great.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: This would be so great.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to the beach someday.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Or I, you know, if I have a friend with some kids.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is a human head.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: It is a human head.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: It was worse, actually.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it was filled with feces.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like three quarters full.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:59
  unknown: And
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't think I was close enough.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean that was rank because this stuff is sitting outside in a week of rain.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Human feces?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't ask it.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean like it didn't look like they were emptying the cat box into it or something like that.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, no, no.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: There was no gravel.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: It was pure.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody in their home just taking a shit into a cooler.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Just poop.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Just keep it fresh in the in the Coleman cooler.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: That was pretty gross.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was gross.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I was close enough to sm it smell it smelled bad.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Don't get me wrong.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think it was more disgusting than bad smelling, though.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: I was more like shocked that that existed because I I should be honest and say I can't really recall the smell in my mind.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: I just remember the whole experience being abhorrent.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: Just in my in my act of generosity and you know, Robin Hood-esque pilfering through these mountains of university discards.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: I did not expect that.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: Did you give it to one of your friends?
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: As like, did you did you do a Tom Sawyer like, oh guys, I found a treasure.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's a cooler, but it's all mine.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then like if they'd be like, no, it's mine.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, because that's very much you.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's very much you with the kid when someone said play ball to the teacher after the national anthem.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then the other kids fought over who got to say it, right?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: But then Adam's.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: AKA the greatest moment of my whole life.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Life.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: That was not so much what I was with this.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, because we're a bunch of women, believe it or not, we look out for each other.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that was pretty gross.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um that's really, really gross.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Another thing, here's a thing, a gross thing that I almost smelled, but never smelled.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: And it goes like this a couple months ago, we had a freezer in the basement and it died.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I've told you this story, but I've not told this on the pod yet.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a little chest freezer, like an apartment-sized freezer.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: So not one of those big, you know, honkin freezers that our grandmas have.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, not a restaurant.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: I have a restaurant walk-in freezer in my basement.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: And no, so this was just a little guy, which is great because it's just Jay and I.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: And every now and then, if you get some meat on sale or if I batch cook and I freeze some stuff, it's nice to have something downstairs.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: So we obviously hadn't used it in quite some time, like a week or two.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I had some chicken legs in there that I we were gonna put on the barbecue.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I said to Jay, Hey, can you just go downstairs and grab some of that chicken?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, Okay.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: And he came up and he was like, So I don't think the freezer's working.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, What do you mean?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Well, it's all dark and everything in there's defrosted and the chicken's gray.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh gosh, this is gross.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: We haven't opened it in a while.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, and the smell that came out of there, because there was so much raw chicken in there.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, I closed it immediately and I'm not open.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, I can't let you down there because you will puke.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: And I would.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: I would, I would just like start gagging and it would be real gross.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: And oh, I thought of another gross thing that I've smelled.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, wow, this is great.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: This might be a three-parter.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: So he was determined to never let me smell what was in that freezer.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: So he went to Home Depot, he got some ratchet straps, clamped that thing shut, dragged it upstairs.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: The two of us, he did like 90% of the work.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: I was kind of behind, kind of doing some kind of awkward lifting.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Behind is not where you want to be on that.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, well, that's mostly where he was.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: But also our basement stair, like our house was built in the 60s, so the basement stairs are quite narrow.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: So there's really no way to get both of us shimmying upstairs.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: So he's I love how you're like houses built in the 60s, so the stairs are narrow.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a thing.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, you know how 60s basement stairs are.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I mean they're old.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like the older a house is, the less built for fat people it is, is kind of where I'm going there.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: If you live in a bigger body and you live in an older house, you are hating every doorway and stairwell in that house, right?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Next next time you're in a century home.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Just see if see how far you can spread your arms out in that doorway.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: See if it feels good.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: So we got he got the freezer outside and then told me to go inside.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: Would not let me leave the house.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: And he and he drained it because there was so much water in it in the bottom, right?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Can you imagine that water was so gross?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then he eventually-tasted.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, oh gosh, my stomach went right up.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: My stomach was hanging out with my thigh right up there for a second.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like way up there.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: And eventually he dealt with it, and within 12 hours, that thing, food in a garbage bag and in a duct taped sealed tote that he put it in, freezer all dropped off at the the dump near near our house.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: I regret that Jay didn't have the balls to put it out on the on the curb so that some other dump divas would come back.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: I come along with a group of friends.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Works great on the sign.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: Works great.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it clamped shut?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's so weird.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: You could have both plugged your noses and then taken a shit in it before you just as a final fuck you.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't want it, I don't want to do that.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like I wasn't I've been the recipient of the the poo cooler, the pooler, one might say, and I didn't deserve it.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: That person, the real unspoken part of this podcast until now is that somebody, somebody in London was taking a shit in their cooler.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, but it was a student, so it doesn't count.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's a it was all in student area.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: It does count.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you say that it doesn't count if it's a student?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, because stuff goes on.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like the amount of stuff we would find when we're dump diving isn't a like you find stuff, you see stuff, like it's all the like you you're coming across funnels and flasks and No, this is either this person had a because every place has a bathroom.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: This person conscientiously didn't take a shit in the bathroom.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: They either were so horrified by having a shit in a bathroom that they that they made a different solution, or they had some kind of weird fetish.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like something really complex was going on with this person.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't I don't think so.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't agree with you.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: I think, and this is the story I've told myself the whole time, is that it was just like a massive party that happened at this house the night before.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: People were going crazy because that's that's what you do.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and I I'm gonna challenge you because that's not a party that happens in the United States.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is that a Canadian party where it's like guys come on and we're gonna let the molstons flow?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And who knows?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe by the end of the night we'll all have taken a dump in a cooler.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's not that's not a wild thing that just happens.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like pissing off a balcony is a wild thing that just happens.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Filling a cooler three quarters of the way up with shit, that's either 30 people shitting, or it's one person shitting for a whole semester.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, that's not that's not like something that we just write off.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's that you got a window into a very disorganized person's disorganization.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: Disorganized is a is a is a clinical term.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I was like, oh, you didn't for lay people disorganized is kind of tame.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: In the psychological world, disorganized is a very heavy.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, okay.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that's fair, fair.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: I really, I really think I just I don't know.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: I I never accepted that.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: I just thought it was a wild party because I've I've moved into homes, you know.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: I move I lived in a couple apartment complexes, but before that I lived in, you know, the odd basement, or it's a student house.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: And the things those people did, like we were supposed to move in the first of May, let's say that would have been.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: This is in my going into my so the summer after my first year of university, we were supposed to move in.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: And we go to this place, and first of all, the landlord was a dink.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: He was a not a nice man.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: And the people were supposed to be out before noon, and it was a house full of boys.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: They were not out before noon.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: We got there, and they were barely pulling their stuff out, and the walls were streaked with whatever.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like the the house smelled like smoke, the walls had like brown.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: I know that's part of like smoking too, but it's like the walls were like dripping.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: The laundry tub in the basement had dryer sheets stuffed in it, and it had overflown and like flooded most of the basement, which is where I was gonna be staying.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: And they had been pulling out street signs, like stop signs and yield signs that these boys had stolen, and there was probably a pile of 20 of them on the front lawn.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: So, like the party that had gone, there was vomit all over the kitchen.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was it was nasty.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: We couldn't move in for three days because we, and by we, I mean me, my parents, and my friend that I was moving in who was staying with us for the summer.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: We stayed at my parents' place an hour away, came in every day and cleaned for like 10 hours straight for a few days in a row.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but there is an enormous, enormous difference between smoke damage and a pile of fucking stolen stop signs and a cooler that's three quarters full of shit.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to like, I don't know how to make myself understood here.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't it's in the same ballpark to me.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's crazy.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is why you all don't have real sports.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: What do you that's what you're landing on here?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: That's what you're landing on here.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: You're like a same ballpark.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I was like, you don't have you don't have real sports, and it's probably because there's coolers.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, look, no, I just don't understand what a ballpark is.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's in the same it's on my mind.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the vomit is super gross, but that is a thing where like if you get a bunch of people binge drinking together, they may vomit all over the place.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's vile.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: But there is no circumstance other than a very heavy psychological hang up or a fetish where somebody fills a cooler full of three-quarters of the way full of shit.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: What is making you say this the most?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the volume or the act itself?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's the volume.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you found a cooler with one shit in it, that's a thing where somebody ran out of time or there were too many people in the bathroom, or do you know what I mean?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like that, like that could happen, or a an unhoused person came by and used it.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a lot of reasons that could happen.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that it was so full It was really full speaks to either what I suspect happened, which was a long-term single-person effort, or potentially a whole group of people conspiring together to make this thing happen.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's disturbing.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: In the best way, in the best way for this podcast.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's so disturbing.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's really like hands down, the grossest thing I've ever seen.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like the grossest thing I've ever experienced.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_02: Number one, the reason we all wear gloves when we're dump diving.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Did you not wear gloves before that?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: We might have.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: It might have been optional, but once you come across that, I've never come across anything with blood.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: So that's good.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's a win.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Feces is worse in my opinion.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather find a cooler three-quarters full of blood.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: That would have been really concerning.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: What you found is concerning.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think I've just sat with it for so long that I was like, it's concerning, but it's not haunting me, you know.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Got it.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you went back to diving.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: That didn't stop you from.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, that was our first year.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: We did it for like five or six years after that.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was fine.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: You just, you know, it it's a it's a it was a cautionary tale of when just know that when you open something, you don't know what's inside.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so for the rest of your life, whenever you opened a cooler, you're like, please be dead chicken legs, please be please be lukewarm chicken legs, please, please, please.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: Whenever I open a cooler, I'm like, if this is poop or if this is Mountain Dew, I don't know which one I'm gonna hate less.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: But this is probably gonna be the poop.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, anyway, that's all the gross stuff.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for uh joining us here on the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: We love you, we love our listeners, we love that you're here with us.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: If there's anything you want to hear from us, reach out to us at reversejackass at gmail.com and let us know it.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in the meantime, wear gloves all the time, everywhere, because you just fucking do not know.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: You never ever know what's in the cooler, what's in the fridge.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: Nothing is safe.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: We love you, bye.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: Some neighbors are besties, others quarrel bitterly.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: One of us has nukes, and the other has two's it's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's revolution.