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Donald Drumpf Theatre 311: Just Say No To The President · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Previously on the Donald Trump Theater radio show.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: We got a new White House press secretary.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is the new press secretary, former Newsmax commentator Katie Zachariah.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Katie met a number of qualifications for the job.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: She has blonde hair.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: She can do a thumbs up.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Good morning.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Good morning.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Hardworking Americans are lining up and packing arenas to support President Trump
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: and Republicans.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's not hard to see why.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: He delivers on every promise.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: In addition to that,
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: there's $54 billion,
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: $120 billion to build eight,
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: to build eight,
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: and now we have a booming economy and a great relationship with Venezuela.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: American energy dominance because energy security, and with that, I will take your questions.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: So my president, excuse me, my husband.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 1:11
  [music]
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to make it louder.
• 1:24
  [music]
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: We will bring up the body.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: You've just crossed over into... Where
• 1:54
  [music]
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: For your consideration,
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: a nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president,
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: you were trapped with in the Twilight Zone.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Breaking news, after just five days on the job, Katie Zachariah is out.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: Let's reflect on this magical five-day tenure that,
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: uh, Katie Zachariah had as White House press secretary.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: Last week,
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Katie burst on the scene with Drumpf announced she would be filling
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: the position left vacant by Caroline Levitt in August,
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: and, uh, she had her first press conference on Tuesday.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Question to the panel, how did that press conference go?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it depends.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: How do you like your comedy, right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Do you like it where someone is embarrassed in a way that makes you sweat?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: Then you liked it, and it was good.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is kind of curb your fascism.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, I'm Casting Couch Katie.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: My knees are sore, but I'm great spreading bullshit.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: There is $54 billion tied to the Alaska LNG pipeline.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: And now we have a booming economy and a great relationship with Venezuela.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: That woman can't read.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Does anyone know what in Katie's debut could have bothered Megyn Kelly?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Part of it is the look.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: She's got very heavy makeup on.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: She's got some chest showing with the tie.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: You're not there to turn anybody on.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: You're there to look like a professional.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck is she talking about?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: This bitch is in a leotard.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: I believe in Republican circles, this is known as the pot calling the kettle.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: So it wasn't just the reading.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't just the outfit.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: It was the question the president got asked on Tuesday after the briefing.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: She said she's an attorney.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Where did she pass the
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: bar exam?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Which date?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: Where did she pass
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: the bar exam?
• 4:21
  [music]
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: The cost of living is super important.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: The inflation is out of control.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: Stuff is in the growth.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: The economy is piss poor.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to balance doing everything.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm single, so I can't even imagine having a family doing things.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: According to the Pew Research Center,
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: the economy ranks as the top issue for midterm voters,
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: with 82% of Republicans saying it's very important to their vote versus 88%
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: of Democrats.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: No matter who's in power, the economy is always the voters' number one concern.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: And according to new numbers that dropped this week, The economy sucks.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: We did receive the September consumer inflation report.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think it was very good.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: Lauren, tell me.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the market doesn't either.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: In short, inflation is rising beyond predictions now at a four-month high.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: 45% odds of an October rate hike.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Goddamn Biden!
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: CNN caught up with some Trump supporters on Wednesday.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: Inflation, we just got a report.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's 3.7%.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Price of gas is up.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you think is to blame for that?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely got to be those Democrats.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not going to lie.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: How do we know that it wouldn't be more if someone
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: else was in office?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: The good news for those women is there's $5,000 checks coming their way.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Republicans just need to win the House, the Senate, and the presidency.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wait.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: They already have all of that.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: Why aren't Trump's core supporters turning on him?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's probably psychologically hard to detach from MAGA after spending a decade
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: of your life in this group,
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: and then you have to admit that you were wrong on elections,
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: the economy, immigration, trans people, basically everything, every possible thing.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: The truth is, it's fun in there.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: They're fun, and I'm sorry.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: They hang out, they have little parties, they have big fat rallies, always shouting.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: If it wasn't for their No Blacks policy.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, they'd let two or three in every year.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's always like an honorable, you know.
• 6:38
  There was
• 6:39
  [music]
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: stops attacking the other one's energy.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: Only if he says yes.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, he will.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Vladimir, what do you say?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: You're supposed to say yes, Vladimir.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: I know, but I'm saying no.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't you see my truth social post where I said you said yes?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm on social media detox.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: You see, he doesn't even- Shimmer down there, little Odessa.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know,
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: if you weren't attacking him,
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: oil prices wouldn't be so high and I wouldn't have- What?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oil prices are high because somebody on this call started stupid war
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: that lasted way longer than he thought.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I feel attacked by that.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: I also feel attacked.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: You see, he feels attacked.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: You should stop attacking him.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: But he is attacking me.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you started resisting.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: He already took me to Cleveland.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, what were we talking about?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: This is totally useless.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you think this is useless?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, Vladimir, do you think this is useless?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: You see, we do have an agreement.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Just like I posted.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: All of this turmoil,
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: along with rising prices and the war in Iran, has put the GOP in a deep hole.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: We're only two weeks away from the midterms, and DRUMPF is as unpopular now as he's ever been.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: President DRUMPF.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: Approval rating has reached a record personal low of 33%.
• 10:47
  [music]
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is according to a new ABC News poll which also shows more than half
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: of Americans say household purchases are unaffordable.
• 11:06
  [music]
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: The poll puts Trump's own approval rating at just 33%,
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: with two-thirds disapproving and just over half disapproving strongly.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: That sour view of Trump's performance is lower today than it was after a mob
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: of his supporters ransacked the Capitol on
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: January 6th.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: Three-quarters of Americans now have a negative view of the economy.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: 71% in the poll now say gas is unaffordable,
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: and 66% of Americans say Trump is using the presidency to enrich himself.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, people do not care for this man,
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: but unfortunately,
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: they only seem to remember they don't care for him after they put him back in power.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: The American electorate's like a cast member on Jackass who sticks his in
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: an electrical socket,
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: gives it a try,
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: immediately realizes how painful it is,
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: passes out,
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: wakes up four years later,
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: forgets what's happened,
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: looks at the socket and says, if you think it's funny, I'll give it a try.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And those two stats tell the whole story.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: 71% say gas is too expensive.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: 66% say drumpf is getting rich off the presidency.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: You can incite an insurrection.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: You can start an illegal war.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: You can lie about a pandemic.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: But if the cost of hamburgers goes up by 79 cents while you're making bank on
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: a scam crypto coin,
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: voters are going to look at you the way Nathan Fielder looks at Elizabeth Holmes.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry, everybody.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Drumpf is a last-minute gambit to turn things around.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: He knows exactly what the people want, and he's laser-focused on giving it to them.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Major developments now in the ongoing legal battle over the golf course
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: at East Potomac Park in Southwest D.C.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: In a social media post this morning,
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: President Drumpf laid out his plan to close the park so he can build
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_02: a championship-level golf course over the next 15 months.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: In a true social post,
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: President Donald Trump said he plans to close the historic golf course for 15 months
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: to transform it into what he says will be,
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: quote, one of the best golf courses in the world.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: So gas is over $4 a gallon.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Inflation is climbing.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: The Iran war is deadlocked.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Measles is spreading.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: AI might kill us.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a new strain of drug-resistant, sexually transmitted diarrhea.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: But don't worry, everyone.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: There's going to be a new golf course close to the president's office.
• 13:25
  [music]
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Republicans must be so happy that Drumpf has finally given them a closing message to run on.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Please, Mr. President, no one cares about your golf course.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Polling on the economy has never been worse.
• 13:40
  [music]
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: But Trump simply cannot help sounding wildly out of touch
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: because this stuff is all he cares about,
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: his own life of luxury and privilege, even when he's supposed to be campaigning.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: At a rally in Georgia,
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Drumpf repeated his promise to send $5,000 checks to every American adult
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: if Republicans win the midterms,
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: even though Republicans are already in charge of everything.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: He could do it now.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: But in the process, he couldn't help reminding everyone he is much richer than you.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: The only caveat is you have to spend that $5,000 in the United States of America.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go to Miami, darling, or let's go to Palm Beach and enjoy the president for lunch.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's have lunch at Mar-a-Lago, where for $5,000 you'll get
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: one hamburger and a small dessert.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: I shouldn't say that.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: It might sound like a lot for a burger, but you have to remember it's also a bribe.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not joking.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it says on the check right below tax and gratuity.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Drumpf.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't blame anything or anyone for their standing in the polls.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Joe Biden, fake news.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: But the reality is obvious.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Voters are furious because prices are soaring.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: All drumpf seems to care about is his golf course and his helipad.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: And judging from the polls,
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: if the GOP loses in the midterms in two weeks,
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: many voters will see it as... A great
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: thing of beauty.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: All of the world is upset over these high prices that have been caused
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: by this Middle Eastern war.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: This isn't really a Middle Eastern problem.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: This is more of a Russia problem.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wait, I'm... Whoa, what?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, Mr. President.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: Are you...
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: Are you saying that these high prices are because of the war in Ukraine that Russia started?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: Because I thought things like the diesel shortage were because of the war in
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: the region where all the diesel comes from.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: I've been looking at this chart.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you can see it here.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: This is the price of diesel.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you know there, there's like a list.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: You can see it there.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's a very subtle,
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: a little bit of an uptick to the cost of diesel at the point exactly when
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: the Iran war started.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying correlation is causation or that the war
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: in Ukraine hasn't caused fluctuations in diesel prices,
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: but the little bump here, statisticians would refer to as the exact f***ing day.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_03: Seeding the point, if it is the war in Russia and Ukraine, how do we fix that?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_03: Today, President Trump announced that he'd struck an
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: energy ceasefire with Ukraine and Russia.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: Adhering to that energy ceasefire will certainly give world markets a chance to recover.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, miss.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't let you finish your sentence.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: Hours later,
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: the Russians hit a neighborhood in the Ukrainian city of Kharkiv,
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: including a power plant.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: Well, luckily,
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: just one month ago,
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: DRUMPF signed into law the Lindsey O.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: Graham Sanctioning Russia and Iran Act of 2026.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: It will penalize anyone who buys Russian oil.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: The Senate sent a clear message to our adversaries.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: What we're doing here today is standing with a steel spine.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: We are standing against Putin's aggression.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: It will cut off the flow of cash that powers
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: Putin's war machine.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: Ha-ha!
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: That was one month ago.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: Take that, Vladimir!
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: President Drumpf,
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: smartly recognizing the role Putin's war has played in rising energy prices,
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: even though obviously from the math that I showed you earlier,
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_03: it's really not about that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: But still, nevertheless...
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: We will not waver.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_03: President Drumpf waived sanctions on Russian fuel sales.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Announcing a Russian diesel deal.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: The deal would provide Putin an influx of billions of dollars to fund the Ukraine war.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, if Russia's invasion of Ukraine is the cause of This,
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: why are we making a deal to give Russia billions of dollars to use in that invasion?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: Perhaps Energy Secretary Christopher Wright can explain it.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: And if I may use a visual aid,
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: I just wanted a physical demonstration of the many layers of stupidity that must be
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: behind this decision.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: If Russia can bring additional diesel to the market and export it,
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: it would benefit American consumers.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Drive down energy prices for Americans.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: That immediate release of 300,000 tons of diesel would have a very little effect
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: or impact on prices long term.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: So why are we doing it?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, this is pressuring Russia.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: By giving them money?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: How is this punishing Russia?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: Russia does not have diesel to export.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: So why are we giving them money for it?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: The only way they can get additional diesel to export is if they turn down
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: the conflict with Ukraine.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: They have to either end the war or they have to reduce their war efforts.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: This is a motivation for Russia to figure out how they can actually export some diesel.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Why would we motivate a group to sell diesel when we just put sanctions on them
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: for selling diesel?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: Doing the opposite within a month is insane.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: It is illogical.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: It is incoherent.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: This is quite innovative, actually.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: Damn you, alliteration!
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know what?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: Forget Secretary Wright.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_03: President Drumpf.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: You, explain your reasoning.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: President Drumpf explained his reasoning,
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: saying he does not want to do
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: anything to drive Russia away from
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: the bargaining table.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: We're not helping Russia.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: We're helping Ukraine.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: In their logic.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_03: That makes me feel a lot better.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the only thing that could obviously shake my confidence is if at
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: the same time you announce this very strange deal where we give billions of dollars
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: to Russia,
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: there were other, let's call them coincidental blows to the Ukraine war effort.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: Ukraine saying access to Elon Musk's Starlink system has suddenly been restricted,
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: limiting Ukraine's ability to fend off Russian attacks.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: The Starlink was blocked, of course, by the SpaceX and, of course, by the United States.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: I sent them, of course, connect and ask what's going on, maybe technical problems.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: I hear you, brother.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: Dealing with Internet providers is a nightmare!
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: LAUGHTER
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: Did they at least give you a service window?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you gotta be in Ukraine from two to six or... You know what?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: I got you.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Let me... You're a busy man.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: You got a war to run.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: Let me deal with this for you.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: I got a little time.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: Let me call Starlink Customer Service and I'm sure we'll be able to work this out, okay?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, here we go.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: Starlink Customer Service.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: Gary, what's going on?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, hey, hey, Starlink Customer Service.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm calling on behalf of my friend Ukraine.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: Their Starlink speed slowed down.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: And before you ask, it is plugged in.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_03: They restarted the router.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know anything about this problem?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_03: We had nothing to do with it.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: The United States, nobody ordered that Starlink speed to be slowed down.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: It sort of happened.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, oh, it happened.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: It happened.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Totally believable.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: However it happened, can we just get Starlink back up and running for these guys?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's not, at this moment, available to Ukraine, and that's under conversation.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: Sir, then what the f***?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: May I talk to your supervisor?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: Is there someone else that I can talk to?
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: How are you?
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: This is the president.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh!
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: Sir, sir, I'm calling on behalf of my friend.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know who cut off Ukraine's access to the full speed of Starlink
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: or Starshield, whatever it's called?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't do that.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: No, we didn't do that at all.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, I don't know where it is.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even think it was slowed down.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: But from what I understand, because I just checked this morning.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you, it's not the same.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's slow.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: The problem is on your end.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: Was it not?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: I checked it this morning.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: They say it's the same as it always has been.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: Has the system been fully restored?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 21:49
  [music]
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks to the songs for this week's episode from Golden Earring,
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Super Chunk, The Zombies, and Blind, Alfred Reed.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_02: And thanks to the clips and excerpts from John Oliver,
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Jimmy Kimmel,
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Katie Zakaria,
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: and Adam Mockler,
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: Josh Gondelman,
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Roy Wood Jr.,
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Amber Ruffin,
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: and Michael Ian Black from Have I Got News For You,
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: South Park, Megyn Kelly, GZero Media, Seth Meyers, Christopher Wright, and others.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Tune in next week for episode number 312 of the Donald Trump Theater radio show.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: If we're still allowed on the air.
• 22:50
  [music]