Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / How to Giggle with Hannah Berner + Paige DeSorbo
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hello, Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, Hi, how are you?
- 0:06Speaker 2: I'm so great.
- 0:07Speaker 3: I'm so great.
- 0:08Speaker 2: I'm here my last day of Whistler. I'm leaving.
- 0:11Speaker 1: Doug is staying for another week because he loves it
- 0:14Speaker 1: up here so much, My little lion bear fucking love Doug.
- 0:18Speaker 4: Is he coming with you or are you going back
- 0:20Speaker 4: there again?
- 0:21Speaker 1: I'm going to come back and get him in a week. Yes,
- 0:24Speaker 1: I'm going to come back and get him in a week.
- 0:25Speaker 1: I do want to make announcement. I'm a European tour.
- 0:27Speaker 1: We had to cancel Dublin unfortunately because something came up
- 0:31Speaker 1: that I can't that I can't rearrange. So I start
- 0:34Speaker 1: out in Rekuvic and all the other cities I'm still
- 0:37Speaker 1: coming to. I think that starts May eleventh, so I'm
- 0:39Speaker 1: not coming to Dublin, but I will be in Belfast
- 0:42Speaker 1: and Paris and Brussels, Amsterdam, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, Zurich, Vienna, Berlin,
- 0:49Speaker 1: Barcelona and Lisbon. And most of the shows are almost
- 0:52Speaker 1: sold out, so if you haven't gotten your tickets, to
- 0:54Speaker 1: get them now. And I don't think I'll be adding
- 0:57Speaker 1: second shows on this tour because my schedule is so crazy.
- 1:00Speaker 1: So we were talking about it, but I'm not. I
- 1:02Speaker 1: don't think I'm going to do it for my sanity.
- 1:05Speaker 1: That's what you learn when you get older. And then
- 1:07Speaker 1: of course there's Vegas, you guys, my next I'm going
- 1:09Speaker 1: to be in Vegas next weekend April eighteenth, and then
- 1:13Speaker 1: July fifth is my next Vegas date, so get your
- 1:15Speaker 1: tickets for that. And I have summer dates all all
- 1:18Speaker 1: through I mean all throughout the year.
- 1:20Speaker 2: I'll be in Vegas once a month.
- 1:22Speaker 3: Awesome.
- 1:22Speaker 4: Yeah, you'll be there in the heat of the summer.
- 1:25Speaker 2: I know, I know. I can't believe it.
- 1:26Speaker 1: And I hope everyone is checking out my stand up
- 1:29Speaker 1: special The Feeling on Netflix. Thank you for all your
- 1:32Speaker 1: messages about it. Thank you for all your messages about
- 1:34Speaker 1: my book that I still get coming in all the time.
- 1:36Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, it's all great, It's all great, wonderful.
- 1:40Speaker 2: That's great. Life is great.
- 1:42Speaker 1: I started mountain biking and Whistler because the seasons are changing.
- 1:45Speaker 1: I brought my e bike up here. So I am
- 1:47Speaker 1: becoming a full blown lesbian.
- 1:50Speaker 5: Oh.
- 1:50Speaker 1: Our guests today are the hosts of the Gigly Squad,
- 1:52Speaker 1: which is a very popular podcast and they have a
- 1:55Speaker 1: new book out called How to Giggle. So please welcome
- 1:58Speaker 1: Hannah Berner at page Oh hi girls, Hi Giggly swad Girls.
- 2:03Speaker 1: Paige of Soorbo and Hannah Berner. Look who we have
- 2:06Speaker 1: in studio today. Actually, we're not in studio. No one
- 2:09Speaker 1: is in the same place. You too, aren't even in
- 2:11Speaker 1: the same place. Have you guys thought about moving in together?
- 2:13Speaker 3: Yet? We don't spend any time together. This is strictly business.
- 2:17Speaker 3: It's a very transactional relationship. Yes, yeah, okay, I understand.
- 2:22Speaker 6: We say that we're in a non sexual marriage. Like
- 2:25Speaker 6: most of America.
- 2:28Speaker 1: I yeah, most yes, most married people are not having said, well,
- 2:32Speaker 1: Hannah's married. I find one of the most surprising things
- 2:34Speaker 1: about you, Hannah is that you're married. And I kind
- 2:37Speaker 1: of object to it.
- 2:38Speaker 2: Chelsea.
- 2:39Speaker 3: It's so embarrassing, and I feel like, I feel like
- 2:42Speaker 3: we'd be better friends if I wasn't married.
- 2:44Speaker 1: It's I think you would have a lot more friends
- 2:46Speaker 1: if you weren't married. I feel like it's like when
- 2:50Speaker 1: I had a friend recently who got pregnant unexpectedly and
- 2:53Speaker 1: I was like, so sorry, Yeah, I was like, you can't,
- 2:56Speaker 1: you can't are you are you going to keep it?
- 2:59Speaker 1: And she's like, I've been thinking about him. I definitely don't,
- 3:01Speaker 1: you know, like, look at the world. It's a disaster.
- 3:03Speaker 1: What are you gonna do with that baby? And then
- 3:06Speaker 1: she did decide to keep me, and you're like, hey,
- 3:12Speaker 1: and all of the other part of this trend group
- 3:15Speaker 1: we were having dinner and I was like, is anyone
- 3:19Speaker 1: else kind of bummed about this baby?
- 3:21Speaker 2: And both of the women who are.
- 3:23Speaker 1: Mothers were like, yeah, we're disappointed that she's having a
- 3:25Speaker 1: baby too, Like we are all in concert. Everyone is
- 3:29Speaker 1: in agreement except the woman having the baby.
- 3:31Speaker 3: Well, it's true, it changes friend dynamics. Paige has this
- 3:34Speaker 3: thing where she's like, you can't have a baby until
- 3:37Speaker 3: I have a baby.
- 3:38Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where I'm drawing the line.
- 3:40Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's newly single, so I'm like, okay, Well,
- 3:43Speaker 3: like my husband's old, so he's running out of time.
- 3:46Speaker 1: Yeah, your husband is just like this like ghost like figure,
- 3:49Speaker 1: where is this person?
- 3:51Speaker 3: I actually wanted him to say hi, but then I
- 3:53Speaker 3: shoot him out.
- 3:53Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to ever see him. I don't ever
- 3:55Speaker 2: want to see him.
- 3:56Speaker 3: It's better own.
- 3:57Speaker 6: When Hannah got married, she literally didn't post a single
- 4:00Speaker 6: picture of her husband. It was just pictures of Hannah
- 4:04Speaker 6: in her wedding dress.
- 4:07Speaker 3: But you know what, Chelsea, we did reality TV for
- 4:09Speaker 3: a second and he was on it for like a second,
- 4:12Speaker 3: and it's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made
- 4:14Speaker 3: in my life. And I just don't want to subject
- 4:16Speaker 3: anyone I love to my shit, do you know what
- 4:18Speaker 3: I mean?
- 4:19Speaker 2: That's nice?
- 4:20Speaker 1: And I don't want to be subjected to him either,
- 4:22Speaker 1: quite frankly, you know what I mean.
- 4:23Speaker 3: I want more of you and less of him. I
- 4:26Speaker 3: think there's a comic Erica Rhodes. She just posted something like,
- 4:29Speaker 3: you know your friend's in a good relationship when you
- 4:31Speaker 3: barely know her your her husband's name. Yeah, you know
- 4:34Speaker 3: your friend who's always talking about the guy You're like,
- 4:37Speaker 3: I think you're gonna murder him at this point.
- 4:39Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I've met Dez four times. It's also good.
- 4:45Speaker 1: It's also good to be low key married because you're
- 4:48Speaker 1: not really dealing with that aspect of things on top
- 4:52Speaker 1: of your career. You're not also going out with, like,
- 4:55Speaker 1: you know, having like turbulent relationships, which is what would
- 4:58Speaker 1: be happening anyway, you know, and downs. That's the one
- 5:01Speaker 1: pro so that's a good thing about being married is
- 5:04Speaker 1: you don't have to date.
- 5:05Speaker 3: It's less bad than having a kid. Literally, Chelsea, I
- 5:09Speaker 3: don't have to worry about the other dating apps and
- 5:11Speaker 3: what do I text this guy emoji or no emoji?
- 5:14Speaker 3: Because you know I was in the weeds with that
- 5:16Speaker 3: back in then.
- 5:16Speaker 1: I know, I'm sure you are you guys. I read
- 5:18Speaker 1: your book. I read your book. The girls have a
- 5:20Speaker 1: new book. First of all, you know them from the
- 5:21Speaker 1: Giggly Squad. They have a new book called how to Giggle,
- 5:24Speaker 1: which is them talking about their high levels of stupidity,
- 5:29Speaker 1: also in concert with all of the things that have
- 5:33Speaker 1: made them successful thus far, which is like one chapter
- 5:37Speaker 1: is called how to be Zululu, which is short for
- 5:40Speaker 1: which generation are you?
- 5:41Speaker 2: Guys? You guys are gen z No? No, no, no,
- 5:44Speaker 2: we're millennials. You're millennials.
- 5:45Speaker 1: Okay, so hard for millennials, you guys, I don't know
- 5:50Speaker 1: what generation is?
- 5:51Speaker 2: What I don't know what generation I am either.
- 5:53Speaker 1: Millennials like a slur, now, I know, I know it's
- 5:56Speaker 1: not It's not a compliment, So that's why I was
- 5:58Speaker 1: trying to avoid saying it. But Delulu for all of
- 6:01Speaker 1: those who don't know what that means is delusional. But
- 6:04Speaker 1: I love that chapter because it is really fucking true. So, Paige,
- 6:08Speaker 1: why don't you you tell me about your delusion and
- 6:13Speaker 1: how it got you to be successful?
- 6:15Speaker 2: No, I really think that.
- 6:17Speaker 1: I I'm drinking a course light by the way, sorry.
- 6:20Speaker 2: As you should. As you should.
- 6:22Speaker 6: I think that when I started on social media, I
- 6:25Speaker 6: wasn't nervous to start because I truly was delusional, Like
- 6:28Speaker 6: I was too dumb right to think of like people
- 6:32Speaker 6: judging me.
- 6:33Speaker 2: It never crossed my mind.
- 6:34Speaker 6: Yeah, So like when Instagram came out and it was
- 6:37Speaker 6: like you have to have a following to get anywhere
- 6:40Speaker 6: in life, I was like, oh, well, I have to
- 6:42Speaker 6: try and get a following. So when I would put
- 6:44Speaker 6: like Instagram videos out, I wouldn't even think of haters,
- 6:48Speaker 6: Like it wasn't even on my mind at that time
- 6:51Speaker 6: because I was just delusional, Like I didn't think anyone
- 6:53Speaker 6: would dislike me until I went on reality TV and
- 6:57Speaker 6: then I was like, oh, okay.
- 6:58Speaker 1: Again, yeah you can be just like on a nice,
- 7:00Speaker 1: big level. So you met on Summer YouTube, met on
- 7:04Speaker 1: Summer House.
- 7:05Speaker 6: We met like the year prior, but like very briefly.
- 7:09Speaker 6: But yeah, then we re met on Summer House and
- 7:11Speaker 6: became and best friends.
- 7:13Speaker 3: We were the two new girls, so like you walk
- 7:15Speaker 3: into an already established like friend group, and we were
- 7:19Speaker 3: so scared. Yeah, and like we've never shot reality TV before,
- 7:22Speaker 3: so we had this kind of trauma bond. But you
- 7:24Speaker 3: know when you look at another girl and you make
- 7:26Speaker 3: eye contact and you're like, oh, she's on the same
- 7:28Speaker 3: page as me, Like this is fucking crazy, And so
- 7:31Speaker 3: it really was a trauma bond that I think makes
- 7:33Speaker 3: people closest.
- 7:35Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean reality TV is pretty traumatizing for all
- 7:38Speaker 1: of the people who are subjected, for the people who
- 7:41Speaker 1: were on it, and then for them people who view it.
- 7:43Speaker 1: It's trauma all the way around. Yeah, it's a full
- 7:46Speaker 1: circle moment.
- 7:47Speaker 6: My favorite thing is when I meet people who like
- 7:50Speaker 6: watch whatever show we were on and they're like, you guys,
- 7:53Speaker 6: just like make me feel so good about my life
- 7:58Speaker 6: on service.
- 7:59Speaker 3: Paige and I we were reality TV fans. Like again,
- 8:02Speaker 3: like I would watch Fando Pump Rules when I had
- 8:04Speaker 3: a bad day and I was like, Okay, at least
- 8:06Speaker 3: like my best friend didn't punch me in the face
- 8:08Speaker 3: for sleeping with Jacks, Like that was how I went
- 8:10Speaker 3: to bed at night.
- 8:11Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to circle back to the delusion part
- 8:15Speaker 1: because you talk about it to Hannah in the chapter
- 8:17Speaker 1: they they h speak on everything in both Chaps and
- 8:20Speaker 1: and they both God, fuck this cores light is really
- 8:24Speaker 1: hitting me.
- 8:24Speaker 3: I was gonna say the book has made you dumber.
- 8:30Speaker 3: She's like, you, guys didn't form one full sentence in
- 8:32Speaker 3: that book.
- 8:33Speaker 2: No, but talk because I.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Love this idea and I think more people should subscribe
- 8:37Speaker 1: to him. You know, regardless of what medium you work in, Like,
- 8:42Speaker 1: it is really good just to be have your dreams
- 8:45Speaker 1: at the front and center of your mind and really
- 8:47Speaker 1: believe in yourself and have blind faith in yourself, because
- 8:50Speaker 1: if you don't believe in yourself, there's not going to
- 8:52Speaker 1: be anybody else who believes in yourself.
- 8:54Speaker 2: And that works.
- 8:55Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, you know, it's like faking it till
- 8:57Speaker 1: you're making it, but it really that also works.
- 9:00Speaker 3: I believe. You know, We've always been obsessed with seeing
- 9:03Speaker 3: like how people make it, and I realized, like the
- 9:05Speaker 3: first step is that person alone, somewhere has to decide
- 9:09Speaker 3: that they can do it. If you don't at least
- 9:11Speaker 3: decide you want to do it, you can never make it.
- 9:14Speaker 3: And it's been fascinating to see, Like the delusion is
- 9:18Speaker 3: like the fun part, but it's really just being brave
- 9:20Speaker 3: and it's just saying if you want to do something
- 9:23Speaker 3: like say it out loud and go for it, because
- 9:26Speaker 3: so many people will sit back and complain why something
- 9:28Speaker 3: didn't happen to them, and it's like, but you didn't
- 9:29Speaker 3: even try.
- 9:30Speaker 6: Yeah, And I think, like I think Hannah is very
- 9:34Speaker 6: much like that's the other part of our book, like
- 9:37Speaker 6: we are best friends. I wouldn't do half the things
- 9:39Speaker 6: I do if I didn't have Hannah, Like I would
- 9:42Speaker 6: never go and do like a live tour, Like I
- 9:45Speaker 6: don't know how you guys do stand up like on
- 9:48Speaker 6: by yourself on the stage, Like that makes me so
- 9:51Speaker 6: anxious and so like when we do our like live shows,
- 9:54Speaker 6: I would not be able to do it without her,
- 9:56Speaker 6: like knowing she's on the stage with me.
- 9:58Speaker 1: Yeah, you talk about having a panic attack before one
- 10:00Speaker 1: of the shows, right, And when you guys go on stage,
- 10:02Speaker 1: you're not page you're not doing stand up, right, you
- 10:04Speaker 1: guys are just doing your podcast or no.
- 10:07Speaker 6: It's like a I mean, we're doing the same show
- 10:10Speaker 6: at every show, but it's it's ad lib of us
- 10:15Speaker 6: in our podcast format, but it's like segments like we do.
- 10:19Speaker 3: A power point. The power points are hilarious.
- 10:22Speaker 1: It's, oh my god, what a nightmare to create a
- 10:25Speaker 1: power point. Oh it's like, my worst nightmare is to
- 10:29Speaker 1: be in an office and have someone tell me that
- 10:31Speaker 1: I have to start that I have to create a
- 10:33Speaker 1: power point.
- 10:34Speaker 3: Chelsea, we have a gen Z doing child Labor who
- 10:37Speaker 3: made the PowerPoint for us. We didn't make the power point,
- 10:39Speaker 3: but it's so funny to just press the next slide
- 10:41Speaker 3: and there's like a funny photo. It's really good comedy,
- 10:44Speaker 3: really high level. But with Page she's hysterical, and I
- 10:49Speaker 3: think I saw that in her. But she jokes, She's like,
- 10:51Speaker 3: I would never do stand up because I don't want
- 10:53Speaker 3: to stand for an hour, which is just that's why
- 10:55Speaker 3: we're best friends, because we're different in those ways.
- 10:59Speaker 1: When what what was I gonna say?
- 11:05Speaker 3: Every brain cell has been burnt. I'm fighting in my
- 11:07Speaker 3: life where but Chelsea, even like what you've done and
- 11:11Speaker 3: with stand up, like there wasn't women in late night
- 11:15Speaker 3: talk shows everywhere to see like you had to first
- 11:19Speaker 3: consciously decide that can be me, and and you didn't.
- 11:23Speaker 3: No one like forced you into it. It was you
- 11:26Speaker 3: and then even women doing stand up like us taking
- 11:28Speaker 3: up space is us having to be brave and not
- 11:31Speaker 3: caring what people think.
- 11:32Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, you kind of you do.
- 11:34Speaker 1: I mean it's it's a hard it's hard to navigate
- 11:36Speaker 1: because people assume that if you are acting in a
- 11:39Speaker 1: brave way, you don't give a shit what anyone thinks.
- 11:41Speaker 2: That's not true.
- 11:42Speaker 1: Of course you care what people think. A human we're
- 11:45Speaker 1: all human beings. Yeah, we all get our feelings. Her
- 11:48Speaker 1: we feel like we're not good enough at certain points
- 11:50Speaker 1: in our lives. I was telling Paige Hannah before while
- 11:52Speaker 1: you were trying to figure out how to work a microphone,
- 11:55Speaker 1: I was telling Paige how much I liked the pictures
- 11:58Speaker 1: of her in the book as a young girl, because
- 12:00Speaker 1: she looks like a young woman at like six years old.
- 12:03Speaker 1: She looks like a little like a woman like her.
- 12:06Speaker 1: Her features are already womanly. But she's an a an
- 12:09Speaker 1: Ai baby. I love Ai when they do. I follow
- 12:14Speaker 1: this site called Tiny Gentle Asians. They have really cute
- 12:17Speaker 1: little Asian babies, but sometimes they there's because of that algorithm.
- 12:21Speaker 2: Because I look at that site, I get all.
- 12:23Speaker 1: These other little Asian babies sent to me and then
- 12:26Speaker 1: but some of them are AI where they have long
- 12:29Speaker 1: hair and makeup and they have like a briefcase, and
- 12:31Speaker 1: you're like, where are they going to?
- 12:33Speaker 2: You know, like women like little women.
- 12:37Speaker 3: I don't want babies, but I do want little as.
- 12:39Speaker 1: I love looking at babies, Oh God, I love them,
- 12:41Speaker 1: especially real big ones, you know, like when they're oversized.
- 12:45Speaker 2: Yeah, oversized.
- 12:47Speaker 1: I just don't understand why anybody ever has a thin baby.
- 12:50Speaker 2: The whole point is to have meat, you know what
- 12:53Speaker 2: I mean.
- 12:53Speaker 1: You have you need the meat to grow rolls, and
- 12:56Speaker 1: you want to be snugly, Like who wants to snuggle
- 12:58Speaker 1: with a little skinny baby?
- 12:59Speaker 2: Nobody?
- 13:00Speaker 6: And if I have to carry it around, I want
- 13:03Speaker 6: to get a workout into yeah, you.
- 13:05Speaker 1: Know, like I'm not just And also hide food in it,
- 13:08Speaker 1: you know, in its little roles or whatever.
- 13:11Speaker 2: Use it for storage.
- 13:13Speaker 3: I want to see. I wanted to jiggle when it laughs.
- 13:16Speaker 3: But Page was a limited to She was a limited
- 13:18Speaker 3: to model, like she was the girl.
- 13:21Speaker 1: In the magazine Your Baby, Well you were Your baby
- 13:23Speaker 1: was a limited edition baby.
- 13:27Speaker 6: No. I was like the fabio of teen novels. Like
- 13:32Speaker 6: when I was twelve to fourteen, I was on every
- 13:34Speaker 6: teen novel cover.
- 13:36Speaker 2: Never read one of them?
- 13:38Speaker 3: No?
- 13:38Speaker 2: Oh really really? Yeah?
- 13:40Speaker 1: Oh interesting, So you were, Oh that's so funny. How
- 13:44Speaker 1: many teen novels can they put you on?
- 13:46Speaker 6: Oh my god, I was on like fifteen of them,
- 13:48Speaker 6: as different characters are the same.
- 13:50Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's really stupid, but I'm glad you made
- 13:54Speaker 2: money doing that.
- 13:56Speaker 1: Let's talk about decentering men, because there's a lot of
- 13:59Speaker 1: people sitting that have issues or thinking about ways in
- 14:02Speaker 1: which we can handle men.
- 14:04Speaker 2: And now we're living in a.
- 14:05Speaker 1: Time where women, I think in general, are pretty sick
- 14:07Speaker 1: of men. It's pretty much out like the cats out
- 14:10Speaker 1: of the bag that you know, you've really got to
- 14:12Speaker 1: step it up to be respected. And there are great
- 14:16Speaker 1: men out there that that do step it up and
- 14:18Speaker 1: do like stand with women.
- 14:19Speaker 2: But there's a lot of things that overshadow that. So
- 14:23Speaker 2: we're having a loser epidemic for sure. Yeah, what do
- 14:27Speaker 2: you think that's about. I don't know.
- 14:30Speaker 6: I saw there was like a study or something like
- 14:32Speaker 6: the rate of how many more women are graduating college
- 14:36Speaker 6: and own houses and how like it's society TikTok.
- 14:42Speaker 2: Yeah, society has society hasn't caught up.
- 14:47Speaker 6: That, like men need women more for marriage because like
- 14:50Speaker 6: we don't need them anymore for financial support, and so
- 14:54Speaker 6: I just think it's so funny that like the world
- 14:57Speaker 6: hasn't won't admit that, but like we may.
- 15:00Speaker 2: Their lives so much better, you know.
- 15:02Speaker 1: Well, also it's just because we don't need we don't
- 15:05Speaker 1: need them for those things anymore. We don't need them
- 15:08Speaker 1: to buy the house anymore, and we don't not we
- 15:10Speaker 1: don't need their financial input. So it kind of leaves
- 15:13Speaker 1: men with like, Okay, now you have to actually show
- 15:17Speaker 1: us what other valuable things you can contribute because that's
- 15:20Speaker 1: not a necessity, and they're like, wait, what, like what
- 15:24Speaker 1: else do I have? You know, you have to be charming,
- 15:26Speaker 1: you have to be kind, you have to be charismatic,
- 15:28Speaker 1: you have to be actually all the good things that
- 15:30Speaker 1: are more important than you know, finances. Although you do
- 15:33Speaker 1: have to have some money, you can't just fucking be broke.
- 15:37Speaker 1: It's like, come on, I mean, you have to have
- 15:40Speaker 1: your shit together one hundred percent.
- 15:42Speaker 3: We're a big proponent of like being single is so
- 15:45Speaker 3: much better than being in a relationship that isn't the
- 15:48Speaker 3: right fit. Where I think there was a time where
- 15:50Speaker 3: it was like just being in a relationship and being
- 15:52Speaker 3: picked or chosen by a man meant you were successful.
- 15:55Speaker 3: And then we realized like, oh no, that could actually
- 15:58Speaker 3: be so much worse for your mental health. And we
- 16:01Speaker 3: Paige and I are both guilty of being boy crazy.
- 16:03Speaker 3: And I used to make so many decisions based on well,
- 16:06Speaker 3: is he gonna be there? Is he gonna like this?
- 16:08Speaker 3: And I was so good at morphing into like the
- 16:10Speaker 3: perfect girl. I thought a guy could be, like, we
- 16:13Speaker 3: should get oscars with some of the performances I had
- 16:15Speaker 3: in my twenties. And then once I realized, if you
- 16:18Speaker 3: get the guy and you're not being your authentic self,
- 16:21Speaker 3: you become a shell. Yeah.
- 16:23Speaker 2: Yeah, I once pretend to be into the Grateful Dead.
- 16:25Speaker 1: I was dating this guy named Brett and he was
- 16:27Speaker 1: a dead he loved the dead, and he was from
- 16:30Speaker 1: Jersey was and I just pretended that I was a
- 16:34Speaker 1: dead head, like I was like, oh god, I fucking
- 16:36Speaker 1: love them. I've been to like forty shows. I've just
- 16:38Speaker 1: made up cities that I had seen them in. So ridiculous.
- 16:41Speaker 2: First of all, I was lying to him about my
- 16:43Speaker 2: age too.
- 16:43Speaker 1: I think I was seventeen at the time, because he
- 16:45Speaker 1: was a twenty he was like twenty eight, So I
- 16:47Speaker 1: lied and said I was twenty one and I hadn't
- 16:50Speaker 1: even been to half of the places that I, you know,
- 16:52Speaker 1: pretended I had been. And then when we got there,
- 16:54Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. Like I tried to
- 16:56Speaker 1: listen to one of their albums before the Clausner, like
- 17:00Speaker 1: I was.
- 17:01Speaker 2: Gonna pick up all of them. There's all there's like
- 17:03Speaker 2: no fucking lyrics to their song.
- 17:06Speaker 1: I was just fucked up at these shows, you know,
- 17:09Speaker 1: it's like, oh, Scott, I.
- 17:11Speaker 3: Was doing a lot of crowd work about like what's
- 17:13Speaker 3: something you pretended to like for a man? And the
- 17:16Speaker 3: comments were so funny, like girls would yell Anal his parents,
- 17:23Speaker 3: Harry Potter, it was everything. And look, I appreciate a
- 17:26Speaker 3: man with a hobby. I do like them being busy,
- 17:28Speaker 3: and I do like you learning from a man, but
- 17:31Speaker 3: just making sure that you're not he's he's attracted to
- 17:35Speaker 3: you for who you are and for who he is, yeah.
- 17:38Speaker 1: Right, and also finding out if we like them, like, yes,
- 17:41Speaker 1: it's not an audition.
- 17:42Speaker 2: You're auditioning for me. I am not auditioning for you.
- 17:46Speaker 1: I had this friend who set me up recently with
- 17:48Speaker 1: a guy, and I wasn't into him, and she's like,
- 17:50Speaker 1: oh god, I go thanks for setting me up.
- 17:52Speaker 2: But that's not it gonna work.
- 17:53Speaker 6: You know.
- 17:53Speaker 1: There was a couple things that I just was were
- 17:56Speaker 1: boner killers immediately, which is almost anything with me these days,
- 18:00Speaker 1: and and she was like, God, I find him so hot.
- 18:03Speaker 1: I'm like, well that's the problem. Then you fucking go
- 18:05Speaker 1: out with him? What do you find him so hot?
- 18:07Speaker 1: So you wanted to vicariously fuck him through me?
- 18:10Speaker 2: So what are you doing? Then you state him?
- 18:14Speaker 3: I do live vicariously through page though. Now she's single,
- 18:16Speaker 3: and I'm like, what are we doing? And She's like,
- 18:17Speaker 3: now doing a life going? How single life going?
- 18:20Speaker 2: Page?
- 18:20Speaker 6: Honestly, I haven't really like I haven't felt like I've
- 18:23Speaker 6: gotten to enjoy it because I've been doing so much
- 18:26Speaker 6: and I and that's actually probably the best part about
- 18:29Speaker 6: being single. Being home by myself on a Saturday night,
- 18:33Speaker 6: I fucking love it. Like there's I've never gotten bored
- 18:36Speaker 6: by myself.
- 18:37Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with you on that. I'm with you on
- 18:40Speaker 2: being alone. When I'm in Whistler, I like to get
- 18:42Speaker 2: into bed at around seven thirty.
- 18:44Speaker 6: Yeah, And like being being in my thirties and being
- 18:48Speaker 6: single it's so I was really nervous. I was like,
- 18:52Speaker 6: because I mean, when I was twenty five, I was like, oh,
- 18:54Speaker 6: I'll obviously be married by my early thirties. And now
- 18:58Speaker 6: that I'm thirty two and I'm single, I'm like, I
- 19:00Speaker 6: couldn't imagine I would not I don't think I would
- 19:04Speaker 6: like it.
- 19:04Speaker 2: I'm not ready. I already know I'm not ready. Yeah, well,
- 19:07Speaker 2: that's great that you know that.
- 19:08Speaker 1: So talk about decentering men though you guys never answered
- 19:11Speaker 1: that question. Oh yeah, stay focused, Okay.
- 19:16Speaker 3: I just want to ask Chelsea questions about her life. No,
- 19:19Speaker 3: de centering men is so so important. We have a
- 19:22Speaker 3: whole part of the book where it's like list all
- 19:24Speaker 3: these things that don't involve a dude. It's kind of
- 19:26Speaker 3: like the Bechdel test, where like being conscious that you're
- 19:29Speaker 3: not making all your decisions based on if a guy
- 19:31Speaker 3: likes you, and page you remember your therapist what she
- 19:34Speaker 3: said to you about like how you sometimes wait for
- 19:36Speaker 3: men to choose you.
- 19:38Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 19:38Speaker 6: I had a therapist one time tell me that, like
- 19:40Speaker 6: I've never picked my own boyfriend, and it just kind
- 19:44Speaker 6: of like hit me, and I mean she was exactly right,
- 19:47Speaker 6: and I was like, I couldn't ever get that. Yeah,
- 19:50Speaker 6: I've never gotten over it. I'm like, oh my god,
- 19:52Speaker 6: I haven't picked a single one of them. They've all
- 19:55Speaker 6: picked me, and I've just like gone along with it.
- 19:58Speaker 6: And when I was first going on a reality show,
- 20:00Speaker 6: I was dating a guy and he said to me,
- 20:02Speaker 6: if you go on this reality show, I'll never speak
- 20:05Speaker 6: to you again. And in my head I was like
- 20:08Speaker 6: easy done, Like I'm going on this show, and that
- 20:10Speaker 6: man truly did never speak to me again. But like,
- 20:13Speaker 6: if I had made a decision based on my career
- 20:16Speaker 6: because he didn't want me to, like, I don't know
- 20:19Speaker 6: where I would be. So I feel like that too,
- 20:22Speaker 6: is like a part of decentering man, Like you can't
- 20:24Speaker 6: make decisions based on what they're telling you or what
- 20:27Speaker 6: they want, because again, they're losers.
- 20:30Speaker 3: And you know we are that. I feel like that
- 20:32Speaker 3: last generation that had the Disney movies of like the
- 20:35Speaker 3: Prince is going to save you, And I feel like
- 20:37Speaker 3: it's important to have that relationship where you find the
- 20:39Speaker 3: guy who on paper is everything you want, Like he's tall,
- 20:42Speaker 3: he's charming, he's successful, but he's not right for you.
- 20:46Speaker 3: And like, to me, that was signing a deal with
- 20:48Speaker 3: the devil. Like, I don't know if you guys have
- 20:49Speaker 3: ever been in that situation where you got the guy
- 20:52Speaker 3: and then you realize like, oh no, I've I've done
- 20:55Speaker 3: this all wrong. So to any girl listening thinking that
- 20:58Speaker 3: a certain guy who you're making up in your head
- 21:02Speaker 3: because we get very creative when you're filling in the blanks,
- 21:04Speaker 3: is going to make you happy, it really isn't. Happiness
- 21:07Speaker 3: is when you know yourself and you're comfortable in your
- 21:09Speaker 3: own skin and the guy who's with you just like
- 21:12Speaker 3: amplifies it and elevates you. Honestly, if he's not bringing
- 21:16Speaker 3: value to the relationship, we don't have time.
- 21:19Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 21:20Speaker 1: I think that it's interesting what we are willing to
- 21:24Speaker 1: kind of like give away of ourselves as women for
- 21:29Speaker 1: not just men, for lots of things. Like you're willing
- 21:31Speaker 1: even when you meet a new friend. Sometimes you'll pretend
- 21:33Speaker 1: you're interested in things. I have a friend who is
- 21:35Speaker 1: different depending on who she's hanging out with. Yeah, I
- 21:38Speaker 1: mean she's not a close friend obviously, because I fucking
- 21:41Speaker 1: hate that shit.
- 21:42Speaker 2: Oh you hate children? I hate children? Like, yeah, you
- 21:44Speaker 2: know somebody.
- 21:44Speaker 1: Who changes their temperature based on who they're speaking to.
- 21:47Speaker 1: And I think women could do that a lot because
- 21:49Speaker 1: we just always are trying to please people. But it
- 21:51Speaker 1: is very empowering to finally sit step back as a
- 21:55Speaker 1: woman at whatever age you are, and realize, oh, actually,
- 21:58Speaker 1: I'm the one, like I have to choose. I'm choosing
- 22:00Speaker 1: to be your friend, I'm choosing to be going on
- 22:03Speaker 1: a date with you, and being the one that is
- 22:05Speaker 1: behind those choices.
- 22:07Speaker 3: Yeah, people around you, I'm just saying therapy speak now.
- 22:10Speaker 3: But Paige and I have been deep in therapy.
- 22:13Speaker 2: People. Do you guys go to therapy together? Because you should.
- 22:16Speaker 3: We have had a lot of podcast duos. Do Paige
- 22:19Speaker 3: and I weirdly don't fight about anything, Like.
- 22:22Speaker 1: Okay, that's not weird at all, by the way, that's.
- 22:25Speaker 6: What we thought about one thing, and I haven't really
- 22:28Speaker 6: let it go. Hannah, Yeah, that was fucked up. That
- 22:36Speaker 6: day we hosted the Vanity Fair oscar red carpet and
- 22:40Speaker 6: I had a dress on that had a slit on
- 22:43Speaker 6: my right side, and so like you should have thought
- 22:45Speaker 6: about and so like I really needed to stand on
- 22:48Speaker 6: a certain side. But it's Hannah's bad side. Paige doesn't
- 22:53Speaker 6: have a bad side, and she wouldn't let me stand
- 22:55Speaker 6: on that side, and I death stared her at the
- 22:58Speaker 6: entire time.
- 22:59Speaker 2: Oh yeah, which is your good side, Hannah?
- 23:01Speaker 3: My left side is good side. The other side is
- 23:04Speaker 3: like monster monster, Yes, I yeah, it's yeah, yeah, Page.
- 23:11Speaker 2: You don't seem like you have a bad side.
- 23:13Speaker 3: So that's why I was like, you have a slit
- 23:16Speaker 3: in your little princess dress, bitch, get to your side.
- 23:19Speaker 3: I don't want to she from.
- 23:22Speaker 6: She looked at me like she was my child and
- 23:24Speaker 6: like I was sending her off to summer camp for
- 23:27Speaker 6: seven months. Like she looked at me and she was like,
- 23:29Speaker 6: I'll literally die if you make me stand on the side.
- 23:31Speaker 2: And it's like we're very.
- 23:32Speaker 3: Like low priority friends, like you know those friends were
- 23:35Speaker 3: they're always looking for a problem, like you know, you
- 23:38Speaker 3: can't make dinner, and they're like you always do, like
- 23:40Speaker 3: they make things into bigger things.
- 23:42Speaker 2: Where we're low maintenance friends.
- 23:44Speaker 3: We're very low maintenance friends. Yeah.
- 23:46Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really but it's really hard to have high
- 23:48Speaker 1: maintenance friends in this you know, in this climate, in
- 23:51Speaker 1: this political climate climate, it's hard to stay in touch
- 23:56Speaker 1: with anybody.
- 23:58Speaker 3: We're fighting for a fuck lives right now. Save yourself.
- 24:02Speaker 2: You girls talk a lot. We are we are fighting
- 24:04Speaker 2: for our lives.
- 24:04Speaker 1: You girls talk a lot about we're about to just
- 24:06Speaker 1: be disenfranchised from voting completely, so especially married people. So
- 24:11Speaker 1: there you go, Hannah again, another wing Winter Winter Winter.
- 24:14Speaker 1: You guys talk a lot about being nervous, like and
- 24:16Speaker 1: you do so much. I mean, your social anxiety you
- 24:19Speaker 1: talk a lot about and you talk about talking about
- 24:22Speaker 1: that a lot, but you're both public doing public facing things.
- 24:26Speaker 2: So when you have that, how does that work?
- 24:27Speaker 1: How do you manage your social anxiety if you are
- 24:30Speaker 1: a blocker?
- 24:31Speaker 2: Yeah, a per panet all.
- 24:33Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I gave I gave them on to my
- 24:36Speaker 1: friend the other morning when she woke up. She had
- 24:37Speaker 1: done mushrooms the night before, and she was all anxious
- 24:39Speaker 1: the next day. And you know, sometimes mushrooms hit weird.
- 24:42Speaker 1: You guys don't do enough drugs. I feel like your
- 24:44Speaker 1: generation is it doesn't do enough drugs.
- 24:45Speaker 6: So I don't know, we're mollis. We've done drugs, but
- 24:49Speaker 6: gen Z they don't.
- 24:51Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the generation. They don't do. Even their teen
- 24:54Speaker 2: pregnancy rate is even down.
- 24:56Speaker 3: Yeah, they're not even their parents' basement.
- 25:00Speaker 2: They're not even sneaking out.
- 25:01Speaker 3: They're not even getting fingered on the side of their leg.
- 25:04Speaker 2: They're using therapies week. How do you get fingered on
- 25:07Speaker 2: the side of your leg.
- 25:09Speaker 3: When you're like, you know what, You're like fourteen and
- 25:11Speaker 3: he has no idea what he's doing, and you're like,
- 25:13Speaker 3: that feels so good, and then you tell your friends
- 25:15Speaker 3: you're like, We're like, we had the best time.
- 25:19Speaker 2: That's my thigh.
- 25:22Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right
- 25:24Speaker 1: back with Hannah and Page.
- 25:26Speaker 4: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at
- 25:29Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to
- 25:33Speaker 4: hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on,
- 25:36Speaker 4: and this week we're especially looking for questions about dating.
- 25:39Speaker 4: If you are dating, if you're single, if you have
- 25:42Speaker 4: issues with someone that you just met, if you have
- 25:44Speaker 4: issues with someone that you've been dating for a while,
- 25:45Speaker 4: please write in at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
- 25:52Speaker 1: And we're back with Hannah and Paige from the Gigly Squad.
- 25:55Speaker 1: We're talking about their new book, How to Giggle Catherine.
- 25:58Speaker 1: We're going to take some callers and you guys could
- 26:00Speaker 1: give your sagacious advice.
- 26:03Speaker 4: All right, well, our first question is just an email
- 26:05Speaker 4: she's not joining us, but it comes from Carrie, she says,
- 26:09Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to ask an etiquette question regarding
- 26:13Speaker 4: my nephew's wedding. The wedding invitations arrived and my grown daughter,
- 26:16Speaker 4: twenty seven years old was invited. However, her partner, with
- 26:20Speaker 4: whom she shares a home and a child, was not included.
- 26:24Speaker 4: The two year old was not on the invitation either,
- 26:26Speaker 4: which I understand it'll be an adult's only event, but
- 26:28Speaker 4: I'm confused by her partner is not included, as they've
- 26:31Speaker 4: been together for five years. I can only assume it's
- 26:33Speaker 4: because they're not married. Should I say something or just
- 26:36Speaker 4: let it be? I do not think my daughter will
- 26:38Speaker 4: attend without her person. Thank you, Carrie.
- 26:40Speaker 2: That's weird. I thought the rule was over eighteen you
- 26:47Speaker 2: get a plus one.
- 26:48Speaker 1: Well, not everybody invites you with a plus one because
- 26:51Speaker 1: but if you know somebody has a partner, they should
- 26:53Speaker 1: be invited. Yeah, and they have a fucking baby together.
- 26:55Speaker 2: That is weird.
- 26:56Speaker 1: I would say something. I would say something, but I
- 26:58Speaker 1: say something about everything. So yeah, what do you girls
- 27:01Speaker 1: think I would say something?
- 27:03Speaker 3: It's worth it. It would throw it out. There was
- 27:05Speaker 3: this the mom by the.
- 27:06Speaker 2: Way, this is the mom. Yeah, the daughter, this is
- 27:08Speaker 2: the mom.
- 27:09Speaker 3: Get your mom to call her. Yeah, to deal with
- 27:11Speaker 3: that exactly for sure.
- 27:13Speaker 2: But also lose the baby. Don't include the baby in
- 27:15Speaker 2: that invitation. Nobody wants them there.
- 27:18Speaker 4: I do think mom sometimes want to like make it
- 27:20Speaker 4: more drama than it actually is. Like it might actually
- 27:23Speaker 4: have just been an oversight. Maybe someone was helping with
- 27:25Speaker 4: the invitations and left off, you know, so I mean
- 27:28Speaker 4: act like, oh, maybe this was just an oversight, like they.
- 27:32Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but definitely bring it up.
- 27:35Speaker 3: Yeah, all the wedding stuff. Weddings have become like I
- 27:38Speaker 3: hate to use this word, but shoo gee. Like it
- 27:40Speaker 3: almost feels like weddings have become like handmaid's daily to me.
- 27:44Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 27:45Speaker 6: They have a certain like eeriness to them.
- 27:49Speaker 3: The dad walking you down the aisle and.
- 27:52Speaker 1: The like, Yeah, he's like very outdated in my opinion.
- 27:57Speaker 1: Weddings it's like, let's a date, this exactly exactly. I
- 28:02Speaker 1: felt awkward during mine, but it was fun mm hmm. Okay,
- 28:06Speaker 1: you keep telling yourself that, Hannah, I'm going to be
- 28:10Speaker 1: divorced by just back out.
- 28:14Speaker 6: It was like the night I decided to try whiskey
- 28:17Speaker 6: sours for the first time, and I was like, I
- 28:19Speaker 6: love these.
- 28:21Speaker 2: Oh my god.
- 28:22Speaker 1: I did that at my sister's wedding. I was like
- 28:23Speaker 1: sixteen years old. I went up to the bartender. We
- 28:26Speaker 1: were on Martha's vineyard, and I was like, what is
- 28:28Speaker 1: a drink that is going to fucking get me fucked up?
- 28:31Speaker 1: I was sixteen in my Laura Ashley bridesmaid dress and
- 28:35Speaker 1: the like long Island iced tea I had seven. My
- 28:37Speaker 1: father carried me up to my sister's honeymoon sweet and
- 28:41Speaker 1: put me in bed at like seven thirty at night
- 28:43Speaker 1: and said, don't come down to the wedding again. That's
- 28:47Speaker 1: when I fell in love with alcohol.
- 28:48Speaker 2: I was like, I could use this to avoid weddings
- 28:51Speaker 2: then for sure.
- 28:53Speaker 3: And you get carried, that's amazing. I want to get
- 28:55Speaker 3: carried everywhere. We actually in my wedding, we planned for
- 28:58Speaker 3: page to catch the bouquet, so we like fully cheated,
- 29:02Speaker 3: like fully like quarterback, like I called the shots. But
- 29:06Speaker 3: it's now, and.
- 29:06Speaker 6: Really just because I didn't want anyone else to catch it,
- 29:09Speaker 6: not because I wanted to get married next.
- 29:11Speaker 2: I was just like, no one's catching my best friend's bouquet, right, well.
- 29:15Speaker 3: That's now this video is going viral of the bouquet
- 29:18Speaker 3: being thrown and all these girls running away from it.
- 29:20Speaker 3: Like that's the theme now, Like I don't want to
- 29:22Speaker 3: get married next.
- 29:23Speaker 2: That's cute. I like that.
- 29:25Speaker 3: Yeah. Who Yeah, try not to get hit with the
- 29:27Speaker 3: bouquet is the new game there. You just try to
- 29:30Speaker 3: peg your friends like dodgeball.
- 29:32Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, like tag you're it. That's actually that's an ominous. Yeah,
- 29:36Speaker 1: it's an ominous warning.
- 29:38Speaker 5: Yes.
- 29:39Speaker 4: Well, our next caller is Nora, and she had a
- 29:43Speaker 4: toxic X reached back out to her, so she says,
- 29:46Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I had one of the most heartbreaking breakups
- 29:49Speaker 4: last summer, a couple of days before my birthday. It
- 29:52Speaker 4: all started with me going out sailing with my boyfriend,
- 29:54Speaker 4: having a great time, about to say I love you
- 29:56Speaker 4: to him for the first time, when he stopped me
- 29:58Speaker 4: mid sentence and said, don't say it. And then long
- 30:02Speaker 4: story short, she got wasted and got in banned from
- 30:04Speaker 4: like his yacht club. He then proceeded to ghost me
- 30:07Speaker 4: for two days and blow off the dinner I had
- 30:09Speaker 4: planned with him and a friend. After my friend left,
- 30:11Speaker 4: he broke up with me via text. We continued to
- 30:13Speaker 4: talk here and there. The following month, he'd say how
- 30:16Speaker 4: he missed our sushi knights together. Then one morning he
- 30:18Speaker 4: texted me saying we needed to cut ties because I
- 30:21Speaker 4: drunk texted him the night before. Not more than ten
- 30:24Speaker 4: minutes later, he posted a picture on Instagram of his
- 30:26Speaker 4: new girlfriend, saying how he knew right away he found
- 30:29Speaker 4: someone special. It felt like a slap in the face
- 30:31Speaker 4: because he claimed he didn't want me to post us
- 30:33Speaker 4: together because I haven't met his eleven year old daughter yet.
- 30:36Speaker 4: This was a lie, since he posted the new girlfriend
- 30:39Speaker 4: a week after meeting and also met his daughter the
- 30:41Speaker 4: first week. Meanwhile, we dated for over six months and
- 30:44Speaker 4: he never introduced me to her. I never felt so
- 30:46Speaker 4: hurt or disrespected. I was planning to let the air
- 30:49Speaker 4: out of his tires, but saw his new girlfriend's car
- 30:51Speaker 4: in the driveway and not his. I got mad and
- 30:53Speaker 4: pushed over all his lawn furniture and went home. I
- 30:56Speaker 4: also signed him up for every cult and weird religion
- 30:59Speaker 4: out there when I was high with my friend one night.
- 31:01Speaker 4: We blocked each other since, but recently he's reached out
- 31:04Speaker 4: via Instagram to ask how I was doing, and they
- 31:07Speaker 4: say that he was sorry for the way things ended.
- 31:09Speaker 4: I told him I'm not ready to be friends or
- 31:11Speaker 4: talk to him. I ended up blocking him because I
- 31:13Speaker 4: didn't trust myself. However, hearing from him has brought back
- 31:15Speaker 4: all the feelings I felt for him before the breakup,
- 31:18Speaker 4: as well as sadness and anger I felt after the breakup.
- 31:20Speaker 4: I feel like sometimes I like the drama and secretly
- 31:23Speaker 4: I would love if he wanted to get back with me,
- 31:26Speaker 4: even though I know deep down I shouldn't any advice
- 31:28Speaker 4: on how to move forward and now let this affect
- 31:30Speaker 4: my dating life.
- 31:31Speaker 6: Nora, I love your voice. I could listen to you
- 31:34Speaker 6: read stories.
- 31:35Speaker 2: I feel like all the thanks Page, Hi, Nora, how
- 31:38Speaker 2: are you Hi?
- 31:41Speaker 5: Yeah?
- 31:42Speaker 4: I was surprised.
- 31:44Speaker 1: Yes, this is Noura Dipsy doodles, my god, Hello, Laura,
- 31:48Speaker 1: say hello to Page and Hannah.
- 31:50Speaker 3: I love you guys.
- 31:51Speaker 5: I listened Squad literally every week, and my friend got
- 31:55Speaker 5: freak out. I like, I'm so glad you guys are
- 31:58Speaker 5: a guest because literally obsessed with your guys.
- 32:01Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I thought you were a producer
- 32:04Speaker 2: was like.
- 32:05Speaker 3: Gonna fire us. He thought you were on assumed to
- 32:07Speaker 3: fire us, and Chelsea was just surprising us.
- 32:11Speaker 1: She's an interventionist. We're intervening, but this is about your marriage, Hannah.
- 32:15Speaker 1: She's actually, this isn't a podcast, Paige, tell her what
- 32:18Speaker 1: we're doing.
- 32:19Speaker 3: Yeah, Norah's like, I'm does a secret family.
- 32:23Speaker 1: You need to fucking wake up, Nora. First of all, okay,
- 32:26Speaker 1: you do not You cannot be attracted to men who
- 32:29Speaker 1: treat you badly. This is a condition and if you
- 32:33Speaker 1: don't learn it now, you're gonna continue to learn this
- 32:35Speaker 1: over and over and over again. You he is not
- 32:38Speaker 1: worthy of you. No man who treats you that way
- 32:42Speaker 1: is worthy of you. And regardless of what happened, and
- 32:45Speaker 1: like posting on Instagram that all of that is garbage,
- 32:48Speaker 1: it's all nonsense. You know, he's completely full of shit,
- 32:51Speaker 1: completely full of shit, and just did that to like
- 32:54Speaker 1: actively torture you, Like posting it.
- 32:56Speaker 2: Ten minutes after you spoke.
- 32:57Speaker 1: Is somebody who's actively trying to her your feelings and
- 33:01Speaker 1: you're saying that you like that.
- 33:03Speaker 5: The girl who's dating was like, Okay, we need to
- 33:06Speaker 5: you need to post something because like we need Like
- 33:09Speaker 5: she was feeling insecure that I was still talking to him,
- 33:13Speaker 5: But I'm like, all you need to do is just
- 33:14Speaker 5: text me and say hey, I'm seeing someone and like
- 33:17Speaker 5: we can't talk anymore, instead of just post on Instagram,
- 33:20Speaker 5: which he knew is what I wanted for the next month.
- 33:24Speaker 1: This is all like, I want to take everything he
- 33:26Speaker 1: said to you, everything he said to you, all of
- 33:29Speaker 1: your communication, put it in a big plastic garbage bag
- 33:32Speaker 1: over your head, and throw it out the fucking window
- 33:34Speaker 1: because none of the details matter. Nothing you said to
- 33:37Speaker 1: him and he said to you, You're like you're focusing
- 33:40Speaker 1: on the minutia of it, and this like what did
- 33:42Speaker 1: you say and what did he say? It doesn't matter.
- 33:43Speaker 1: He's a piece of garbage. He doesn't respect you, and
- 33:46Speaker 1: he's not careful about your feelings. So that's all You've got,
- 33:49Speaker 1: all that information, and that's all you need to know
- 33:52Speaker 1: to stay away from men like that, because otherwise you
- 33:54Speaker 1: keep repeating this nonsense. You know what I mean, And
- 33:57Speaker 1: as a woman, I can tell you it's true. You
- 33:59Speaker 1: repeat these cycles until you break them. So don't you
- 34:01Speaker 1: want to break the cycle and only date men that
- 34:03Speaker 1: are going to treat you with respect?
- 34:06Speaker 5: Yes, and I have had long term relationships where I've
- 34:08Speaker 5: had boyfriends that treating me with respect, and I mean,
- 34:12Speaker 5: sometimes it's just not the right place or they're a
- 34:16Speaker 5: little bit boring. I guess I do like the drama
- 34:19Speaker 5: a little bit, but.
- 34:22Speaker 3: We understand playing games. Paige and I love games and
- 34:25Speaker 3: we love getting obsessed with the guy who never lets
- 34:28Speaker 3: you fully have him. But as someone who's very competitive,
- 34:31Speaker 3: the way you really win is not getting him. The
- 34:33Speaker 3: way you win is him never having access to you
- 34:36Speaker 3: ever again and going and crushing it. That's you want
- 34:40Speaker 3: him to look at his phone and be like, I
- 34:42Speaker 3: fuck up with her, and that's the win.
- 34:45Speaker 6: Hannah like, if I I also love a little bit
- 34:48Speaker 6: of toxic, Like I get the fun of like back
- 34:51Speaker 6: and forth and back and forth, and I get like
- 34:53Speaker 6: that can be exciting until it gets to a point
- 34:56Speaker 6: where it's just too much. And I used to do
- 34:59Speaker 6: this thing where I would like blo them and be like, Okay,
- 35:01Speaker 6: they'll never see me again. And then Hannah was like,
- 35:03Speaker 6: why would you block them? Let them see how much
- 35:07Speaker 6: better you are than them, And then I started like
- 35:10Speaker 6: posting for revenge, and then I would like want to
- 35:13Speaker 6: accomplish things in my career truly out of revenge, and
- 35:17Speaker 6: then I would do it and I'd be like, oh,
- 35:18Speaker 6: I actually started this because I wanted to get back
- 35:21Speaker 6: at some guy. But now I really am gonna go
- 35:23Speaker 6: on Jimmy fallon, you know.
- 35:24Speaker 3: And to see you. He can't even be in the
- 35:27Speaker 3: same room as yeah, like that's winning him. Him choosing
- 35:30Speaker 3: you and then fucking it up later is just waste
- 35:33Speaker 3: your time.
- 35:34Speaker 5: Yeah, And I went to Japan and like he was
- 35:36Speaker 5: supposed to come and like he got to seal the
- 35:39Speaker 5: photos he missed out on. I went for two weeks.
- 35:42Speaker 5: I went on like a solo chip to Puerto Rico,
- 35:44Speaker 5: and that's when he saw it and was like, oh fuck,
- 35:46Speaker 5: like she's having an amazing time, Like yeah, I miss her.
- 35:50Speaker 5: And I'm like, yeah, I know.
- 35:52Speaker 3: You can't meet a new guy unless you also like
- 35:54Speaker 3: close it with him. I'm about that with careers too,
- 35:57Speaker 3: Like you have to really close the door for other
- 35:59Speaker 3: doors to open. And I think you should torture him
- 36:01Speaker 3: by never talking to him again.
- 36:04Speaker 5: But just posting like my travel and yeah.
- 36:07Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 36:08Speaker 1: But just also as a like an ethos to yourself,
- 36:11Speaker 1: you have to like make a promise to yourself that
- 36:13Speaker 1: you're not going to be that's beneath your set of standards,
- 36:16Speaker 1: Like you want your standards here and people need to
- 36:18Speaker 1: meet them, especially if you're going to be dating them,
- 36:21Speaker 1: and that's just the way it has to be.
- 36:22Speaker 3: Yeah, don't engage.
- 36:23Speaker 5: And it did take six months to like really like
- 36:25Speaker 5: work on myself and like not date anyone, and like
- 36:28Speaker 5: I got to meet therapists and everything. So I feel
- 36:31Speaker 5: like I really learned how to be on my own
- 36:33Speaker 5: without dating because I was always dating someone or having
- 36:37Speaker 5: questioned someone because it's fun. But I was like, well,
- 36:40Speaker 5: I need to learn to just like be okay with
- 36:44Speaker 5: my career, my friends and like but myself and as
- 36:48Speaker 5: the hardest part is always a learning process.
- 36:50Speaker 1: Yeah, but then you're going to realize like, oh oh
- 36:53Speaker 1: that that actually brings you so much more and long term, like.
- 36:57Speaker 2: Your career and your friendships are going to be there
- 37:00Speaker 2: for you.
- 37:00Speaker 5: You know.
- 37:01Speaker 1: So throughout all these guys, however many men you end
- 37:03Speaker 1: up dating in your life, and there will be more,
- 37:06Speaker 1: you know, multiple people, hopefully you're not you know, like
- 37:08Speaker 1: that's that's a nice thing to have variety and have
- 37:11Speaker 1: different experiences. But yeah, I would say put all your
- 37:14Speaker 1: energy into your work and into your friendships and into
- 37:16Speaker 1: your family, and that's where you're gonna get the light back.
- 37:19Speaker 6: Not from as much fun as it is to like
- 37:23Speaker 6: have that toxic relationship. Sometimes it's so much more fun
- 37:26Speaker 6: when someone's obsessed with you, Like I really do believe
- 37:30Speaker 6: that the guy has to like the girl more, and
- 37:32Speaker 6: I love that, you know, I love when they're Also.
- 37:36Speaker 3: There's nothing hotter than a guy who's like playing games
- 37:39Speaker 3: with you and you don't actually know what he's like,
- 37:41Speaker 3: Like you're making up in your head how great this
- 37:43Speaker 3: guy is. That girl's bored with him.
- 37:45Speaker 6: Yeah, Like anytime I see an ex with a new girlfriend,
- 37:50Speaker 6: I'm like, I feel so bad for her. She's like
- 37:53Speaker 6: a week away from realizing this guy fucking sucks.
- 37:56Speaker 5: Well he broke up with her after two months because
- 37:59Speaker 5: he's like, oh, yeah, I was wrong.
- 38:02Speaker 3: Leave him out to dry, leave him to dry. Sorry
- 38:05Speaker 3: I'm yelling, Chelsea.
- 38:06Speaker 2: Okay.
- 38:07Speaker 5: It's like I'm like to the girl singers like, oh no,
- 38:10Speaker 5: like it did, Like it didn't work out.
- 38:12Speaker 3: I was wrong.
- 38:13Speaker 2: She's actually like talking to him just yeah, how tall
- 38:18Speaker 2: is he? I need to know? I literally need to.
- 38:24Speaker 5: Yeah that.
- 38:27Speaker 6: Would you even be responding no?
- 38:34Speaker 3: Which is also let's fast forward to it actually did
- 38:39Speaker 3: work out and you're in the kitchen with him one day,
- 38:41Speaker 3: and he's annoying you, and you hate how he breathes,
- 38:42Speaker 3: and you remember how he didn't even choose you the
- 38:44Speaker 3: first time around. You'll hit him with a kitchen knife,
- 38:47Speaker 3: you know, Like this is not good.
- 38:50Speaker 2: What's up with a pet in your hand? Are you journal?
- 38:55Speaker 2: You always tell people write stuff down that I was.
- 38:59Speaker 3: I was, I was gonna take notes, but it turned
- 39:01Speaker 3: into hearts.
- 39:02Speaker 1: And you're gonna take notes on She doesn't know what
- 39:05Speaker 1: she's talking about.
- 39:06Speaker 2: Honestly ridiculous.
- 39:09Speaker 3: It makes me look official.
- 39:11Speaker 1: Ura, Thanks for calling in. You need to get your
- 39:13Speaker 1: ship together. Okay, like, no more of this bullshit.
- 39:15Speaker 2: Okay, okay, everything else is good.
- 39:18Speaker 1: Yeah, everything else is good. But like, don't obsess over
- 39:20Speaker 1: this guy. I know that's easier said than done, but
- 39:23Speaker 1: you just hurt us. Like that's a waste of your time.
- 39:25Speaker 1: You're better than that.
- 39:26Speaker 6: Okay, bye, okay, okay, okay.
- 39:31Speaker 3: We love you. Wait, Chelsea, look at my sweat that
- 39:39Speaker 3: This is what men do to me. I got pissed
- 39:41Speaker 3: at us. Call Hannah.
- 39:43Speaker 2: Looks like both of her under arms water just broke.
- 39:46Speaker 1: She's sweating like she has diarrhea from under her arms.
- 39:50Speaker 2: Oh my god.
- 39:51Speaker 3: Okay, it's actually a disease, Chelsea, So you should be
- 39:54Speaker 3: more sensitive because hyperhydros disease called hypo something.
- 39:57Speaker 2: Anyway, what who Okay? Our next caller is Joe Well.
- 40:03Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty seven year old single woman
- 40:05Speaker 4: looking for some advice on how to embrace and fully
- 40:08Speaker 4: enjoy my single life. For most of my life I
- 40:11Speaker 4: yearn to be in a relationship. But thanks to therapy
- 40:13Speaker 4: and You're Insightful podcast, I've come to realize that being
- 40:16Speaker 4: single can bring me immense joy. Recently, I've found happiness
- 40:19Speaker 4: and simply enjoying life, pursuing hobbies, traveling solo, making the
- 40:23Speaker 4: most out of every moment. I have a successful career,
- 40:26Speaker 4: own my home, and am surrounded by an amazing group
- 40:28Speaker 4: of friends. My life feels absolutely perfect, So what's the problem.
- 40:32Speaker 4: While I genuinely love my independence, I often find myself
- 40:35Speaker 4: wanting to share the experiences with someone, whether it's going
- 40:38Speaker 4: on trips, going out dancing, or having nice dinners. I've
- 40:41Speaker 4: noticed that most of my friends are in relationships, married,
- 40:43Speaker 4: or have children. This has made organizing activities a bit tricky.
- 40:47Speaker 4: They either have family commitments or financial responsibilities that make
- 40:51Speaker 4: it difficult to join in and while I'm not matter jealous,
- 40:53Speaker 4: I do miss having more spontaneous social opportunities. As I
- 40:57Speaker 4: grow older, I find that fewer friends are available for
- 40:59Speaker 4: a casual Friday night out. I also want to mention
- 41:02Speaker 4: that I don't want children, and while I'd be happy
- 41:04Speaker 4: to get married, I've stopped trying to date because it
- 41:06Speaker 4: just became too hard. So I'm focusing on living my
- 41:09Speaker 4: life to the fullest as a single woman. So I'm
- 41:11Speaker 4: reaching out for advice. Should I accept that as the
- 41:14Speaker 4: only single gal in my circle, I might have to
- 41:16Speaker 4: do most activities alone from now on, or should I
- 41:19Speaker 4: make an effort to find new friends who are more
- 41:20Speaker 4: in the same lane as I am right now?
- 41:22Speaker 2: At Joell?
- 41:24Speaker 1: Hi, Joelle, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is Paige and Hannah,
- 41:27Speaker 1: our special guest today.
- 41:29Speaker 3: Hi Joell.
- 41:30Speaker 5: Hi, guys.
- 41:31Speaker 7: This is so great you guys. I'd like perfect to
- 41:33Speaker 7: give me advice.
- 41:34Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously, I feel like we need to start a forum.
- 41:37Speaker 1: I mean, there must be some forums out there for
- 41:39Speaker 1: people who don't have children who need to band together. Right,
- 41:43Speaker 1: there should be some sort of where you can meet
- 41:45Speaker 1: people in your community who also have these same ideas
- 41:48Speaker 1: about life. Because you do, first of all, you have
- 41:50Speaker 1: to branch out and you have to make some new friends,
- 41:52Speaker 1: not replace your friends, of course, you know they can
- 41:54Speaker 1: be your friends, and you want to maintain friendships with
- 41:57Speaker 1: all the people that you know are.
- 41:58Speaker 2: Important to you.
- 41:59Speaker 1: But yeah, there's plenty of people out there that are
- 42:01Speaker 1: doing exactly what you're doing that don't that that aren't
- 42:05Speaker 1: into that lifestyle.
- 42:06Speaker 2: But how do you go about? Where do you live?
- 42:09Speaker 2: I'm in Toronto, Okay, well that's great.
- 42:11Speaker 1: Well that's a big city, so that's going to be
- 42:13Speaker 1: that's not that's not that. I think you just have
- 42:15Speaker 1: to like get outside of your comfort zone and like
- 42:18Speaker 1: do some things that you wouldn't normally do. Just to
- 42:21Speaker 1: start taking exercise classes, like going to some sort of
- 42:25Speaker 1: art event, or going to like any any sort of
- 42:28Speaker 1: like group hiking activity, like doing things where you're just
- 42:32Speaker 1: going to meet people, you know what I mean that
- 42:34Speaker 1: you wouldn't normally meet in whatever you're doing thus far,
- 42:37Speaker 1: Like what's your social situation?
- 42:38Speaker 2: Like, like where do you what do you like to do?
- 42:40Speaker 1: No?
- 42:41Speaker 2: I do?
- 42:41Speaker 7: I like I obviously like exercising, and I love like
- 42:44Speaker 7: going to concert and things. I guess like it's just that,
- 42:47Speaker 7: like I'm thirty eight. So it's just at the point
- 42:49Speaker 7: of like, Okay, I guess my friends have kids and
- 42:51Speaker 7: they're like in the younger age, so I know that,
- 42:53Speaker 7: like yels will get easier for them to like want
- 42:56Speaker 7: to hang out. But this is like the age where
- 42:58Speaker 7: like they need a babysitter and stuff. So I'm just like, Okay,
- 43:00Speaker 7: do I wait it out or do I just like
- 43:03Speaker 7: exactly like you said, like try to find new friends, which,
- 43:05Speaker 7: like I hate meeting people, so I guess I need
- 43:07Speaker 7: to branch I meet people and just get new friends.
- 43:11Speaker 2: To kind of do the activities I want to do.
- 43:12Speaker 3: I think you wait for your friends to get divorced.
- 43:15Speaker 3: They will soon give it.
- 43:18Speaker 2: Started flying their husbands, yes and or back. That's a
- 43:23Speaker 2: nice idea. That's a great idea. You guys, have you
- 43:27Speaker 2: done that? You thought about doing that? Joel? You know what,
- 43:31Speaker 2: I'll think about it.
- 43:32Speaker 3: I'll about it. No. I do think making friends as
- 43:35Speaker 3: an adult, Joel is so hard and weird. But what
- 43:39Speaker 3: Chelsea's saying is, I feel like there's so many people
- 43:41Speaker 3: just like you, like there needs to be an app
- 43:42Speaker 3: or something made and there. Paige literally sent me a
- 43:45Speaker 3: meme today talking about how these later in life. Friends
- 43:48Speaker 3: you make could be so special because they're like meeting
- 43:51Speaker 3: you when you're fully evolved. And what it sounds like,
- 43:54Speaker 3: I'm hearing two things. One that you love being single
- 43:57Speaker 3: and you love being alone, but you also yearn for
- 43:59Speaker 3: a little bit of friendship or possible relationships. So you
- 44:03Speaker 3: gotta get out of the nests a little. That's the
- 44:05Speaker 3: first step, even though it is uncomfortable, but I think
- 44:08Speaker 3: the rewards will be big.
- 44:10Speaker 6: Yeah, are you on like dating apps or how are
- 44:12Speaker 6: you meeting people?
- 44:13Speaker 7: I am not on day y Ops, there's just the world.
- 44:16Speaker 7: I know, I know, but it's yeah, I know, I know.
- 44:18Speaker 1: We're talking about friends and she you know, she's saying
- 44:21Speaker 1: that she's not that the dating thing isn't the priority
- 44:23Speaker 1: for her.
- 44:24Speaker 2: I think, right Joelle, it's friends.
- 44:25Speaker 7: Oh exactly. If I meet someone, that's great. But like
- 44:29Speaker 7: right now, I'm just like I'm good being single. I
- 44:31Speaker 7: just end my life and just not have like any
- 44:33Speaker 7: boy drama for now.
- 44:34Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 44:34Speaker 2: I respect that and that's fine.
- 44:36Speaker 1: Like you can take a cooking class, you know, you
- 44:38Speaker 1: can like kind of just like bounce around to do
- 44:40Speaker 1: different things that may seem like corny or whatever, or
- 44:43Speaker 1: like out you know that you wouldn't normally do, or
- 44:45Speaker 1: even if it feels like it's a couple's thing, like
- 44:48Speaker 1: you go like sign up for some hiking class or
- 44:50Speaker 1: some like short you know, five mile like running.
- 44:52Speaker 3: Chelsea wants you to hike so bad. I don't keep
- 44:55Speaker 3: saying hike it.
- 44:56Speaker 1: Whenever I think about things group activities, I think of hikers.
- 45:00Speaker 6: Actually, one of my friends randomly joined like took a
- 45:04Speaker 6: battles anonymous, like like just like wanted to take ballet
- 45:10Speaker 6: and just like see what it was like.
- 45:11Speaker 2: And she was obsessed with it.
- 45:13Speaker 6: And she met like this whole group of girls that
- 45:15Speaker 6: like can't do ballet, and now they hang out like
- 45:18Speaker 6: outside of ballet instead.
- 45:20Speaker 3: There's something about getting older where you get connected to
- 45:22Speaker 3: your and your child again, where you're like, wait, what
- 45:24Speaker 3: did I love to do? Or what do I want
- 45:25Speaker 3: to do? And Paige and I were starting this new
- 45:27Speaker 3: thing called hobbies. We never did it before. It's very difficult,
- 45:32Speaker 3: but trying, Like like what Chelsea was saying, random things
- 45:35Speaker 3: that you think you might like, it's so easy to
- 45:37Speaker 3: make friends while you're like doing pottery. You're like I
- 45:39Speaker 3: like your pot, and she's like I like your pot.
- 45:41Speaker 3: And you have a commonality instead of it and you
- 45:43Speaker 3: smoke pot, they smoke pot. But you don't have to
- 45:46Speaker 3: like creepily go up to someone like at a bar
- 45:48Speaker 3: and be like, do you want to be my friend?
- 45:50Speaker 2: Yeah? Right right?
- 45:52Speaker 1: But also just like expand your surround you know, like
- 45:55Speaker 1: broad in your horizons, Like do you just get out
- 45:58Speaker 1: and do some things that you haven't done in a while,
- 46:01Speaker 1: and with the vibe that you're down and ready to
- 46:03Speaker 1: make some new friends, and you're going to attract people
- 46:05Speaker 1: just by having that kind of energy, very positive, upbeat, optimistic,
- 46:10Speaker 1: just like looking for new connections.
- 46:11Speaker 2: I've made tons of friends.
- 46:13Speaker 1: I just turned fifty and I when I was forty,
- 46:16Speaker 1: I made a whole new group of friends when I
- 46:18Speaker 1: moved to Whistler, when I bought a place in Whistler.
- 46:20Speaker 1: I have like ten super close girlfriends that live here
- 46:23Speaker 1: now in addition to my regular rotary. Like, so you're
- 46:26Speaker 1: never going to stop making friends. And while it might
- 46:28Speaker 1: be like an awkward attempt in the beginning, it's a
- 46:31Speaker 1: good practice to keep going. You can then you start
- 46:34Speaker 1: traveling with people, you know, you meet people when you're away,
- 46:36Speaker 1: Like there's no shortage of opportunities to meet other people.
- 46:40Speaker 2: It's really in the vibe that you're putting out.
- 46:42Speaker 3: That's true.
- 46:43Speaker 7: And actually like second part to that, like and I
- 46:45Speaker 7: feel like you guys probably like I don't know if
- 46:47Speaker 7: you have that issue, but like on the money aspect,
- 46:49Speaker 7: when you're making those friends, like sometimes that is hard
- 46:51Speaker 7: to be like hey, like I kind of like nice
- 46:53Speaker 7: things and want to got to nice dinners, but then
- 46:55Speaker 7: other people are kind of like, oh, I don't have
- 46:56Speaker 7: the disposable income like you guys have. Like this is
- 47:00Speaker 7: you have just like hey, like you're obviously in the
- 47:01Speaker 7: like bracket where you can like just afford anything that
- 47:04Speaker 7: you want, But then do you have friends that are
- 47:06Speaker 7: like not in the same bracket, and like how do
- 47:08Speaker 7: you manage that?
- 47:09Speaker 3: Well, it's good, that's a good question.
- 47:11Speaker 2: It is a great question.
- 47:12Speaker 1: It's I mean, you know, in my situation, I just
- 47:13Speaker 1: pay for everyone all the time.
- 47:14Speaker 2: But I know that's not because I don't want to
- 47:18Speaker 2: fucking hear about splitting checks. I don't ever want to
- 47:20Speaker 2: hear about that.
- 47:21Speaker 1: It's like just I would pay them extra money to
- 47:23Speaker 1: not hear that conversation, but I understand that's not a
- 47:26Speaker 1: reality for everyone. I would just be sensitive to other
- 47:29Speaker 1: people's financial situations and be like, yes, if you don't
- 47:32Speaker 1: have to cut someone off because they can't afford to
- 47:34Speaker 1: go to No Boo with you, but you can just
- 47:36Speaker 1: be mindful and go to somewhere, go somewhere with them
- 47:38Speaker 1: that is a little bit less expensive, and save Noboo
- 47:40Speaker 1: for your friends who are in the same kind of
- 47:42Speaker 1: income bracket. And there's also nothing wrong with you going
- 47:45Speaker 1: to do No Boo by yourself, you know what I mean,
- 47:47Speaker 1: and having a nice I've done that plenty of times
- 47:49Speaker 1: and I love that. So just really be mindful, I
- 47:52Speaker 1: would say, of the energy that you're putting out to attract,
- 47:55Speaker 1: Like there's a magnetism that we all have when we're
- 47:58Speaker 1: in like a happy, good, curious place, and that's where
- 48:02Speaker 1: you want to be when you're meeting people. And you know,
- 48:04Speaker 1: you could take a dance class, you could do any
- 48:06Speaker 1: of that, any of those things.
- 48:08Speaker 2: You could go play pickleball. People love pickleball. I know,
- 48:12Speaker 2: I know.
- 48:12Speaker 1: I feel that's the way about pickleball too. Hannah likes pickleball.
- 48:16Speaker 1: No pickleball, I know, I'm kidding. She's a proper tennis player.
- 48:22Speaker 3: Yeah, so are you, ChEls. But I do like having
- 48:25Speaker 3: specific friends for things like you love sushi, you have
- 48:28Speaker 3: your girl you always hit up when you want to
- 48:29Speaker 3: go to sushi, or you have your like girl who
- 48:32Speaker 3: likes to do yoga with you or something. So that's
- 48:34Speaker 3: okay too. I think to have those people that you
- 48:37Speaker 3: pick for different events.
- 48:39Speaker 1: Right well, well, we're just focusing on getting her some
- 48:42Speaker 1: new friends. Okay, so not right now, she doesn't have
- 48:44Speaker 1: fifty to choose from. We want to make her go
- 48:47Speaker 1: out and get these friends and then yes, and then
- 48:50Speaker 1: you can pick ones for specific activities.
- 48:52Speaker 3: Chelsea, how do you approach people if you want to
- 48:55Speaker 3: be their friend?
- 48:56Speaker 2: What do you do if I want to be someone's friend?
- 48:59Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm full full right now, I don't have room
- 49:03Speaker 1: do I'll give you some of my friends, Joel, do
- 49:05Speaker 1: you want that?
- 49:07Speaker 2: The rich one? I?
- 49:10Speaker 3: Joelle is like, I want some sugar daddies, sugar mama,
- 49:14Speaker 3: sugar mamas.
- 49:15Speaker 1: Sometimes when I meet someone and I don't have time
- 49:17Speaker 1: for them, like the bandwidth, I give them to my sister.
- 49:19Speaker 2: I'm like, I have a new friend that wants a
- 49:21Speaker 2: lot from me.
- 49:22Speaker 3: Do you want her.
- 49:23Speaker 8: To my Sister's like, I like her, I'll take her
- 49:28Speaker 8: once I did invite a bunch of people to a dinner,
- 49:30Speaker 8: including Page, and then I didn't show up, so Paige
- 49:32Speaker 8: had to hang out with them.
- 49:34Speaker 2: Oh I love that.
- 49:35Speaker 3: I love that.
- 49:36Speaker 2: That was the craziest move I got.
- 49:38Speaker 3: I got a cough.
- 49:40Speaker 2: I had it all arranged and Joel.
- 49:42Speaker 1: In the meantime, with your existing friends that you have,
- 49:44Speaker 1: you know, be be flexible about spending time with them
- 49:47Speaker 1: when they can, you know, so that you're not missing
- 49:50Speaker 1: them too.
- 49:50Speaker 2: And I understand when people.
- 49:51Speaker 1: Have little children it's really difficult to make those kinds
- 49:54Speaker 1: of arrangements and it is kind of taxing. So but
- 49:56Speaker 1: you know, don't count them out. You know, you can
- 49:59Speaker 1: go and hang out over them. I know you don't
- 50:00Speaker 1: want to hang out with the kids all the time,
- 50:01Speaker 1: but like, you know, just be a little bit bendable
- 50:04Speaker 1: so that it works both ways.
- 50:06Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 50:06Speaker 7: No, for sure, that's definitely something I can do.
- 50:08Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so what's what are you gonna do?
- 50:10Speaker 4: Now?
- 50:10Speaker 2: What's what's your plan?
- 50:12Speaker 7: Well, I guess I'm mean I go find new friends.
- 50:14Speaker 7: I won't do I won't do ballet, but I do
- 50:16Speaker 7: I do started playing tennis, So I think that's great.
- 50:19Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so fun. A doubles league. You meet so
- 50:23Speaker 3: many people, right, you could.
- 50:25Speaker 1: Join a tennis club. That's such a fun backdrop. It's
- 50:27Speaker 1: like white lotus.
- 50:29Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, well killed but yeah no, ya, yeah, it's
- 50:34Speaker 7: just like I guess it's just getting out of my
- 50:36Speaker 7: comfort zone. And like it was like, maybe like, oh,
- 50:38Speaker 7: do I wait it out a couple of years and
- 50:40Speaker 7: you know when my friends get available? But yeah, no,
- 50:42Speaker 7: as you mentioned, and I also read your book and
- 50:44Speaker 7: I love that part in Whistler when you made all
- 50:46Speaker 7: your new friends, like your skiing friends. So I was like, yeah,
- 50:49Speaker 7: maybe I'm just in the part of my life where
- 50:51Speaker 7: I can find like new single friends I want to do.
- 50:52Speaker 1: Like no, yeah, I'm always making friends, like seriously, I mean,
- 50:56Speaker 1: I know I joke about not wanting anymore, but I'm
- 50:58Speaker 1: always making new friends. And like, as you age, I
- 51:00Speaker 1: think you get better at making friends and you also
- 51:03Speaker 1: are more discerning about who you choose to be friends.
- 51:06Speaker 3: Very true, Harry, You're a better picker.
- 51:08Speaker 1: Yeah, so pick wisely, Joel, You're going to have lots
- 51:10Speaker 1: of people wanting to be friends with you.
- 51:12Speaker 2: Amazing, And you have four new friends today. Where are
- 51:14Speaker 2: your friends? Perfect?
- 51:16Speaker 7: Great, you're all in my hopefully in my back rackets.
- 51:23Speaker 2: Choosing friends financially, you have.
- 51:28Speaker 1: To friends based on their financial situation.
- 51:32Speaker 7: I mean, and I'll sie if I can make you.
- 51:37Speaker 3: Tax return and a therapy bill.
- 51:39Speaker 2: Yes, all right, Okay, have a great day.
- 51:43Speaker 3: Thanks Joe, bye, Chelsea. I love how you hold people accountable.
- 51:48Speaker 3: You're like, so what are we doing when you leave
- 51:50Speaker 3: this call?
- 51:51Speaker 6: Yeah?
- 51:51Speaker 1: I just feel like women need to know that, you know,
- 51:53Speaker 1: you you do make friends as you go through life,
- 51:56Speaker 1: like there, it's not like you just you make friends
- 51:58Speaker 1: and then that part of your life it's yeah, yeah,
- 52:01Speaker 1: and you have to be willing to, like, you know,
- 52:04Speaker 1: do stuff that you don't want to do. Like I
- 52:07Speaker 1: went mountain biking the other day. I mean, I didn't
- 52:09Speaker 1: want to do that. No, I don't know what the
- 52:12Speaker 1: point of me saying that is.
- 52:13Speaker 5: But I.
- 52:15Speaker 2: Bought my friends here.
- 52:16Speaker 1: The snow is not that great, and they're like, let's
- 52:18Speaker 1: I so I had my boat bike. I flew my
- 52:21Speaker 1: bike up and then they were like, okay, we're gonna
- 52:23Speaker 1: take you mountain biking now because this is what we
- 52:25Speaker 1: do when the snow is gone. And I'm like okay,
- 52:28Speaker 1: And then I went mountain biking. I'm like, I don't
- 52:29Speaker 1: really think this.
- 52:30Speaker 2: Is for me.
- 52:31Speaker 1: No, I'm so adventurous, I know, but I'll do it
- 52:34Speaker 1: again because whatever.
- 52:35Speaker 2: It's like. My friends like to do that, so I'll
- 52:37Speaker 2: do it with them.
- 52:38Speaker 1: You know, like you want to be like malleable, you're
- 52:40Speaker 1: not like rigid. I will only do this. I only
- 52:43Speaker 1: like to do this. I hate when people are like that.
- 52:45Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not. Some people have like friend groups since
- 52:48Speaker 3: they were like in elementary school, which I was always
- 52:50Speaker 3: jealous of.
- 52:51Speaker 2: But then I was just gonna say that. Yeah, no,
- 52:54Speaker 2: I have a friend.
- 52:55Speaker 1: I have a friend who she and her nine friends
- 52:56Speaker 1: have been friends their entire lives. They're like, they're all
- 52:59Speaker 1: forty four and they've been together and it's so beautiful
- 53:02Speaker 1: and nice. But they all have other groups of friends too.
- 53:05Speaker 3: You have to. You have to. Yeah, I went to
- 53:07Speaker 3: three different high schools, so I've always like.
- 53:09Speaker 2: Well, we know why that happened.
- 53:11Speaker 1: We're going to take a break and we'll be right
- 53:13Speaker 1: back with Hannah and Paige. And we're back with Hannah
- 53:20Speaker 1: and Paige. Page Disorbo and Hannah Berner wrote a new book.
- 53:25Speaker 2: They wrote it together.
- 53:26Speaker 1: They actually wrote the book together, which is called How
- 53:28Speaker 1: to Giggle. And they're from the Giggly Squad, which is
- 53:31Speaker 1: your podcast that everybody loves and everybody loves to giggle.
- 53:34Speaker 3: And Chelsea, we were very inspired by your books. Yeah,
- 53:37Speaker 3: your books.
- 53:38Speaker 1: Well, I didn't see that when you shouted out to
- 53:40Speaker 1: all of the icons in the book, I didn't see
- 53:41Speaker 1: my name there.
- 53:42Speaker 2: So that's funny. You're on the back cover.
- 53:43Speaker 1: That's funny you say that I saw Barbara Corkoran on there,
- 53:47Speaker 1: but I didn't see.
- 53:48Speaker 6: Hannah's obsessed with Barbara Corkoran.
- 53:51Speaker 1: It's I have her name referenced outside of that show ever,
- 53:57Speaker 1: Barbara Kor talking about.
- 53:58Speaker 3: This working alone, Chelsea, you have to have her on
- 54:02Speaker 3: the pod.
- 54:04Speaker 2: I have to find out who she is. Is she
- 54:07Speaker 2: the blonde woman from Tank with the short hair?
- 54:11Speaker 3: She's a pip. You would like her. But Chelsea, we
- 54:14Speaker 3: got you to give a quote on the back. That
- 54:15Speaker 3: was the only quote I wanted, was Chelsea, I.
- 54:18Speaker 1: Don't know that because I got the book electronically. Hannah
- 54:20Speaker 1: souk Off. Okay, so there is no quote from me
- 54:24Speaker 1: anywhere to be found.
- 54:26Speaker 3: Do you know what your quote is? Do you know
- 54:27Speaker 3: what it is?
- 54:28Speaker 2: What does it say?
- 54:28Speaker 3: It says? I met them once.
- 54:30Speaker 1: Chelsea, that was before I even met Paige.
- 54:39Speaker 2: Yeah, one of them.
- 54:42Speaker 3: One of them. I met half of them once I
- 54:46Speaker 3: forgot I forgot what it was.
- 54:49Speaker 1: Okay, well, Catherine, what else do we have we want
- 54:52Speaker 1: to close up with some I do.
- 54:53Speaker 4: Have one little quickie. If you're okay on time, gals,
- 54:56Speaker 4: we'll hit it hard. So this comes from m She says,
- 55:00Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year.
- 55:03Speaker 4: He's extremely attentive to my emotions, patient, passionate about his interests,
- 55:07Speaker 4: driven and successful. Problem is he's a slob. Not only
- 55:11Speaker 4: are the surfaces in his house always sticky, full of
- 55:14Speaker 4: crumbs and cluttered, but he often forgets to shower after
- 55:17Speaker 4: the gym and never puts the toilet seat down after peeing.
- 55:20Speaker 4: In the beginning of our relationship, I didn't say anything,
- 55:22Speaker 4: but after the first three months I spoke up about
- 55:25Speaker 4: how I'd appreciate him cleaning up after himself some more
- 55:27Speaker 4: when he's at my house. But it's fallen on deaf ears.
- 55:30Speaker 4: I have to keep reminding him. It's frustrating to sometimes
- 55:33Speaker 4: feel like I'm being a mom to him, but I
- 55:34Speaker 4: can't not speak up when he's leaving the toilet seat
- 55:37Speaker 4: up and leaving crumbs and messes everywhere he goes at
- 55:40Speaker 4: least once a week. I WinCE when he tries to
- 55:42Speaker 4: kiss me because of his stench. It's very unattractive.
- 55:46Speaker 3: I love him a lot.
- 55:47Speaker 4: He's emotionally mature in ways I've never seen in a man.
- 55:50Speaker 4: But will his messiness and general lack of awareness about
- 55:52Speaker 4: things that aren't emotional in nature break us up?
- 55:55Speaker 2: It's never going to work.
- 55:56Speaker 5: Should it? Am?
- 55:57Speaker 3: I missus frustrated? It's over trained. Find a man who's
- 56:03Speaker 3: pre trained.
- 56:04Speaker 2: I'm not so gross.
- 56:06Speaker 1: I once dated a guy who had a funky smell
- 56:08Speaker 1: that came from his gut. I'm assuming, and he didn't
- 56:13Speaker 1: smell at in the daytime or at night, but in
- 56:17Speaker 1: the mornings, I was like, I can't deal with the smell.
- 56:20Speaker 2: Like it was strong.
- 56:21Speaker 1: It was like this his bio bio gnome mom, whatever
- 56:27Speaker 1: whatever it was it was. It doesn't go away. Smells
- 56:30Speaker 1: don't go away. When someone doesn't, he's like a It's
- 56:33Speaker 1: like a feral cat.
- 56:34Speaker 2: This guy.
- 56:37Speaker 6: Also, I feel like nothing I'm married or like, wouldn't
- 56:40Speaker 6: know when it's like living with someone or whatever. But
- 56:43Speaker 6: I feel like it is those like little day to
- 56:46Speaker 6: day things that like keep you together. So like yeah,
- 56:49Speaker 6: he can be emotionally intelligent, but like he thinks, Yeah,
- 56:53Speaker 6: and I.
- 56:53Speaker 3: Care if he's ambitious. He's a literal skunk that's running
- 56:57Speaker 3: wild in your apartment.
- 56:58Speaker 1: Yeah, unless you're planning on removing your nose, Like you
- 57:01Speaker 1: have to move on.
- 57:01Speaker 2: And find a different partner.
- 57:03Speaker 3: I also have a theory that you will fall in
- 57:05Speaker 3: love with your your partner's natural scent and like you
- 57:09Speaker 3: too have like a similar smell. I don't know I
- 57:11Speaker 3: made that up, but I feel like it's a no.
- 57:13Speaker 1: I think when you when it is, when there is
- 57:15Speaker 1: good chemistry, then the smell is good.
- 57:17Speaker 4: You.
- 57:18Speaker 1: Yeah, what you smell is smells good to you when
- 57:22Speaker 1: there is natural But clearly that's not working because he's Yeah.
- 57:27Speaker 3: Like you get less UTIs and stuff with the right guy.
- 57:30Speaker 2: Oh god, haranging uti right now.
- 57:33Speaker 4: Yeah, that's kind of a thing where like sometimes you're
- 57:36Speaker 4: like smells don't work together and like you got right
- 57:39Speaker 4: know or whatever. I will also say, some of this
- 57:42Speaker 4: smacks a little bit of undiagnosed ADHD, So like get
- 57:45Speaker 4: him tested and get him on something and see if
- 57:48Speaker 4: that changes. That might be your last ditch effort.
- 57:50Speaker 1: Oh yeah, medicate him, Yeah, medicate him and then maybe
- 57:53Speaker 1: he'll start wiping his ass.
- 57:55Speaker 4: I mean maybe, who knows. And also like he doesn't
- 57:57Speaker 4: get to kiss you if he hasn't showered, if he's stinky.
- 58:02Speaker 6: I mean he could hire a cleaning lady. But the
- 58:05Speaker 6: not showering thing, that's like, yeah, I don't know if
- 58:08Speaker 6: you're changing that a person.
- 58:09Speaker 3: Whenever we do advice, I always envision it's the same people.
- 58:11Speaker 3: So like, this is the guy who started dating a
- 58:14Speaker 3: new girl, and this new girl is calling it about
- 58:16Speaker 3: how he smells.
- 58:18Speaker 2: That's a great eye.
- 58:18Speaker 1: That's a great idea for a podcast, actually, Hannah, Okay, well,
- 58:22Speaker 1: that was an upsetting way to end this episode.
- 58:27Speaker 2: That was not what we wanted to go out with.
- 58:30Speaker 2: But that's okay.
- 58:31Speaker 1: I think it's apropos for our guests today.
- 58:34Speaker 2: Paige.
- 58:34Speaker 1: I don't mean to be so cutting towards you. This
- 58:36Speaker 1: is only directed towards Hannah.
- 58:38Speaker 3: Okay.
- 58:39Speaker 2: I don't know you well enough to treat you this way,
- 58:41Speaker 2: so I just want you to know that is all. Hannah.
- 58:45Speaker 3: No, it is such a privilege to get harassed by
- 58:49Speaker 3: Chelsea Handler. I want to do it all day long.
- 58:51Speaker 2: Do put your arms up for a sec will you please?
- 58:54Speaker 2: Both arms? Both arms.
- 59:00Speaker 1: There we go okay, and we're wrapped for today. Have
- 59:04Speaker 1: a great day, girls, everybody. You can go get how
- 59:06Speaker 1: to giggle at your local bookstore, local bookseller.
- 59:09Speaker 2: Go buy your books and bookstores. People do do.
- 59:13Speaker 1: Do do do drum roll, Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad.
- 59:19Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour. So I'm coming to obviously find.
- 59:25Speaker 3: A husband abroad.
- 59:26Speaker 1: I need to get the help out of this fucking country,
- 59:30Speaker 1: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
- 59:33Speaker 1: coming to Rekuvik. I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
- 59:37Speaker 1: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
- 59:41Speaker 2: In May and June.
- 59:42Speaker 1: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
- 59:48Speaker 1: New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin,
- 59:53Speaker 1: Barcelona and Lisbon.
- 59:55Speaker 2: I'm coming abroad. Is abroad that sounds like fun.
- 59:59Speaker 1: I'm gonna go see I I know I want to
- 1:00:01Speaker 1: go see me abroad and there there, I'll be there.
- 1:00:04Speaker 2: I'll be excellent. Do you want advice from Chelsea?
- 1:00:08Speaker 4: Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find
- 1:00:12Speaker 4: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
- 1:00:15Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
- 1:00:19Speaker 4: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure
- 1:00:22Speaker 4: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com