Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / How to Best Control Your Emotions

Transcript

How to Best Control Your Emotions · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hey there, welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking a few minutes of your day to spend with me.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you've been tuning into the past few episodes, we have really been diving deep into how we can create healthier and effective communication styles.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: We have spoken about really being active listeners.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have talked about the nonverbal communication.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so today I wanted to just talk about how we can manage and monitor our emotions.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Morgan Freeman said self-control is strength.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Calmness is mastery.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: You have to get to a point where your mood doesn't shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Don't allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: So in any given situation, the one who has the most self-control has the most power.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: You may not be able to master or control a situation, but you always have the ability to control your reactions to the situation.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: I often say that to my clients is, you know, we can't control the things.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: We still many of us get caught up in trying to control all the things.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth of the matter is what we do have control over is how we react to a situation.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're talking about effective, healthier communication, recognizing that being able to manage our emotions and our reactions can help contribute to building that effective communication.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: So healthy communication really does seek to better understand, to solve problems, resolve conflict, and to share information.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Healthy communication is not about winning at all costs or overruling or putting others down or to convince or convict other people.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: So developing healthy and effective communication style is about healthy emotional intelligence.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it were well, no, what I'm trying to say is that healthy communication requires healthy emotional intelligence, right?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we've all heard, or many of us have heard of the IQ, which is the intelligence quotient.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: So not the IQ, you know, we've all heard about the IQ, which is the intelligence quotient, but many of us have not heard about EQ.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Being emotionally, or the EQ, rather, is the emotional quotient.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Being emotionally healthy may in fact be more valuable than being highly intellectual when we are trying to build healthy communication styles.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Being the smartest one in the room doesn't necessarily mean you're the healthiest.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, generally speaking, the person who has the uh higher emotional intelligence is likely to have an easier time building those healthier communication styles.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just sort of unpack this a little bit.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: What is emotional intelligence?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional intelligence is the name that is given to describe a wide range of personal and social skills.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional intelligence often refers to somebody's ability to recognize their own emotions and the emotions of other people while in either one-on-one settings or in group settings.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: So the better you're able to regulate your own emotions and therefore manage your behavior under pressure or in mixed company, so to speak, the higher your emotional intelligence is thought to be.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional intelligence can be broken down into two main categories.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's self-awareness and social skills.
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  SPEAKER_01: They're broken down into further categories that describe what skills help to increase your own emotional intelligence.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional intelligence can be enhanced by learning to be more self-aware and empathic towards others.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the main characteristics of people with high emotional intelligence share things like self-awareness, self-regulation, intrinsic motivation, empathy, and social skills.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally intelligent people are very, very self-aware.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: They tend to be able to clearly see and understand their own self as well as others, but self-awareness has to do with objectively recognizing our own triggers, our behaviors, our reactions, and our tendencies.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that awareness helps better understand why we have the reactions we have.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not that emotionally intelligent people don't feel the full range of emotions, it's that they're able to understand how they are feeling as it relates to healthy outcomes in a situation.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they're able to recognize other people's reactions and regulate how those people impact them.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally intelligent people can regulate their own behavior.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: So emotional intelligence is expressed mainly through adaptation, being able to adapt and regulate your emotions into a neutral place, no matter how stressful.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: They say that emotionally intelligent people have the self-control to not over-underreact to situations.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: They are trustworthy and they do the right thing regardless of how triggered or upset they may feel.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, in essence, they have great impulse control and can remain calm under fire.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally intelligent people tend to be intrinsically motivated, meaning that their motivation comes from within and doesn't necessarily need an external motivator or an external prompt to be motivated to do something.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally healthy people tend to lean towards an optimistic viewpoint and consider the we before me type of attitude when communicating, and their motivation helps them stay positive and outcome focused even when things or people are being difficult.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally intelligent people really do uh strive on adding empathy into their relationships.
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  SPEAKER_01: Empathy is the ability to understand somebody else's experience even when it's not your own.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so allowing somebody to have a big emotion without over-underreacting to it, or also, let me just be clear, not taking on their emotion.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Empathy is expressed in seeking to understand others and build them up, embracing diversity, embracing differences, and considering differences actually as an asset and not a detractor, which is really important when we're thinking about building healthy communication.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And emotionally intelligent people have excellent social skills.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: The most successful communicators have the ability to adapt and complement different styles.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And they tend to rise to the top and become leaders because they are successful in group situations.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oftentimes, emotionally intelligent people end up being great negotiators or mediators or conflict managers because what they're really able to do is build confidence and encourage others.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: So a couple of tips is to get an assessment, understand where you are on the emotional intelligence scale.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's, you know, just really start asking yourself, you know, what triggers you in social situations?
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  SPEAKER_01: How do you typically handle disagreements or diversity?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And just ask people for their assessment of your emotional intelligence as well.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: And just pay close attention to those patterns.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Another tip is to be intentional.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Deciding to have a higher emotional quotient is honestly the first step and being able to practice by paying close attention to your own experiences.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Again, we go back to this concept that I talk about all the time, which is the relationship with self.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then of course, a couple other tips are to just really, you know, take a deep breath when you're in conversation.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, mindful breathing, staying present.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but mindful breathing is a great way to calm down and to truly make better choices.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: So uh when we're thinking about how do we manage our emotional response to people, taking that deep breath, calming ourselves down allows space before we just react from that emotional space.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, um, you know, redefining conflict.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we may react to conflict in the typical ways of running from it or becoming angry or hostile or just passive-aggressive.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's just important to look at conflict as an opportunity to maybe better understand a situation, maybe to learn from it, learn to solve the problems.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, conflict can honestly be more like a puzzle and less like um uh a landmine, if you will.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: So when you are able to redefine what conflict means to you, uh it allows for that emotional intelligence to kind of rate rise and for you to uh develop those more um effective communication styles.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you would like to talk with me about what might be coming up in your own communication styles or about anything else that might be hindering your advancement in either your professional world or your personal world, definitely feel free to book a time with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, I am Comedy Wood.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.