Latest / Natty Unfiltered / Do It Before You're Ready

Transcript

Do It Before You're Ready · Natty Unfiltered

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Welcome to Nadian Filtered, the podcast for moms who love
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their kids but know they were meant for more.
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I'm Nettie, a mom of three, real estate agent and
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online entrepreneur, and this is where we talk
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confidence, mindset, money, and building a life that
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actually feels like yours. Welcome.
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And today we're talking about something I know so many of
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us struggle with, starting before we feel ready.
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Can we just be honest for a second? How many times
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have you told yourself, I'll start when things come down,
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when the kids are older, when I have more time,
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when I feel more confident. There's always an
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excuse and something that we tend to put off until
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tomorrow, a week from now, month from now, year, two years,
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and on and on. I've said all of those things,
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every single one of them. And the truth
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is, life doesn't suddenly open up and give you this perfect window
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where everything is aligned and easy. If anything, it gets
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busier, more chaotic, more unpredictable.
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When kids are small, you wait for them to start crawling and
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then walking, and you feel like, okay, when this stage
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is going to pass, then I'll have more time. But then you
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realize that when kids get older, you start
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get more busier because you start enrolling
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them into sports. And now you become this Uber mom where
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you finish work or if you are, stay at home, mom,
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and then you pick them up from daycare or school, and then your driving
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starts, and then dinner and bedtime,
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on and on. There's always something.
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You know, kids get sick, busy weeks,
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stressful days, something in the house,
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something with work. There's always something.
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So if you're waiting for life to slow down before you start something,
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I'm just going to say this in the nicest way possible.
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You might be waiting forever, and I'm sure
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you probably have experienced that now that
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you noticed that the years have gone by.
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And maybe you had this dream of opening up your business or
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doing something that really fulfills you,
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but you have not started because of all these things
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that have been going on in your life. And you just been waiting for this
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perfect time to start.
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You know, women who actually change their
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lives, they don't wait for the perfect conditions. They moved
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inside the chaos. You find the ways of
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how to schedule day where
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you can at least start on your
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project, on your dreams. You find the time when you
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really want to change things in your life,
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things about yourself. You just find the
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time and you just do it. If you don't want it bad enough,
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you're gonna come up with a gazillion excuses of why you're not
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starting something. And I think part of the problem is nobody
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really talks about what starting actually feels like.
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We think it's supposed to feel exciting, confident,
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like, yes, this is my momentum.
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But in reality it feels uncomfortable, it feels awkward.
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It feels like you don't know what you're doing.
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You second guess yourself, you overthink everything.
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You compare yourself to people who have been doing it for
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years. I know that I've done all
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of it. I know that fear
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of failure prevented me from going all in on couple of projects
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that I wanted to do. I would second guess myself thinking,
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do I know enough? Am I good enough? Who's going to listen to me?
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Who's going to, who is going to take my
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advice? And then also one of the biggest ones
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is that I would compare myself to others. I, I would look on social
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media and see this perfectly creative lives
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and businesses and think to myself, oh my God, can I actually
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do this? Am I good enough as this mom or this
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person without realizing is that all these women
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started from scratch. They started from zero.
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And they've built and built over the years. Success does not happen overnight,
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which sometimes we need to believe that it does, but it does not.
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It takes years. And some people take off quicker than others.
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And for some it takes time, it takes dedication.
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And that's what we don't see
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it a lot of times. We don't hear it enough.
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And I think that it also needs to be spoken a lot how,
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how a lot of successful women
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started, where they started, what obstacles
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they faced and what made them
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successful. It's all that kind of like that middle
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mess where a lot of people don't talk about.
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And so you end up sitting there and thinking,
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maybe I'm just not cut out for this. But that feeling,
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that doesn't mean stop. That's literally the beginning phase
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of anything new. I remember
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even with content, hitting record felt so unnatural.
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I didn't like how I sounded, I didn't like how I
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looked. I didn't know what to say. But if I waited
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until I felt confident, I would have never started.
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And I went through different faces on
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social media, being the influencer and then getting
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more in front of the camera and talking to the camera and getting my point
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across. There were so many videos that I would look
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at myself and say, oh my God, I cannot look at
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myself, I cannot hear my voice. And I
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needed to get advice from close friends
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to tell me the real truth. How are they seeing me,
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how I can improve? And that Was really scary.
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But you know what? It doesn't matter what kind of a feedback you
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getting, especially from people who are close to you, because they
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will be honest, because they want the best for you. You want to take
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it in and you want to change. And the change is going to take
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time, but you need to be open to suggestions, the feedback
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and make the change. Don't just look for the advice
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and then not take it. Because if you want to improve,
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you want to be better, you kind of need to
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take it to heart. And even if you don't like it,
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change it and move forward.
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And I'll tell you that confidence is something that it's
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built over time. It's not just getting. We're not born. We're not
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born with confidence. Confidence is something that we develop.
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Confidence is something that when we do something on a regular
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basis and we get better at it.
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This is where I think a lot of moms get stuck. We think confidence
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is something you either have or you don't.
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Like. She's confident, I'm not.
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But confidence is a personality trait.
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It's a result. It comes from doing something over
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and over again until it stops feeling scary. Think about
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anything in your life, driving your job,
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even being a mom. In the beginning, it felt overwhelming.
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You question yourself constantly,
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and now you just do it. I remember when I
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first became a mom, I was scared.
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I would look at other moms with two kids, three kids, and I'm
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thinking, oh, my God, how did they do it? I mean, here I have this
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little human who's depending on me. What if you know when he's
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gonna get sick, what I'm gonna do, how I'm gonna take this step. But then
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you know what? I figured it out. I leaned towards other
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moms, my friends who had the kids in for me. I would ask them.
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I would be researching, reading a lot of things,
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and it's just the. The fear kind
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of went away. Same thing with, you know, when I remember starting to
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drive or any new job. It's really scary because you
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stepping into the unknown, you need to learn all the new procedures,
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also the new people. But once you know it,
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then it just comes naturally and you
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know what to do. And then you can pass on your knowledge to somebody else.
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So not because. Not because you
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were magically confident that all happened,
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but because you kept on going. You weren't
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giving up the repetition. That's what made
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you good. And learning and not giving up is.
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Is what gave you that confidence.
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So if you're sitting there waiting to feel confident before you start.
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You're waiting for something that only comes after you begin.
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So let's talk about the real reason most of us don't
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start. It's not time, it's not knowledge,
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it's not even a skill. It's what other people
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might think. What will they say? What if I
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look stupid? What if people judge me? What if I fail
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publicly? And I get it because that fear
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feels so real. And I, like I
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said, I've hit all those points. I've had all those thoughts
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and more. But here's something that I had to realize,
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is that people are thinking about you way
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less than you think that they are. Yes, there's going to be people who are
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going to judge you. But listen, you cannot please everybody.
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There's always going to be somebody that doesn't like how
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you look, how you sound, what you say, nothing.
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But the reality is, is that everyone is wrapped up in their
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own life, their own problems, their own insecurities.
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And the people who judge, they're usually the ones too scared
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to do what they you doing. So you have
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two choices. Either you stay comfortable and unseen
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or feel uncomfortable for a little while and grow
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into something bigger. And I tell you that even people who have succeeded
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and who are making it life,
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they still are being judged because you will always have
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people. I wish that was not the case. But you're always going to have people
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who are projecting, people who are so horrible in their own lives that
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they need to project that, I would say hatred or unhappiness
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to someone else. So it really,
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it's not about you, it's about them. And also
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them being jealous and miserable in their life
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that they have to portray it. But if they would start and they start
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succeeding, then, you know, secretly they will look
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at what you're doing and start doing their own
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thing. And a lot of times people who judge,
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then those are the ones who then come back and ask you for advice
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because they're seeing that, oh, she's actually doing very well.
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She's, you know, she's making money, she's succeeding.
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Let me ask her how she did it. So everyone loves to
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show the results, the success, the growth, the wins.
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But there's this whole phase in the middle as I've talked about,
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when nothing looks impressive. You know, you're showing
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up and no one's watching. You're trying and it's not perfect.
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You're putting yourself out there and it feels like crickets.
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That's the part that makes people quit because
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they Think if this was meant for me, it would be easier.
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No, that's not how it works. That middle
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phase, that's where you're building the skill, the confidence, the resilience.
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That's where everything is actually happening, even if you can't
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see it yet. And I can totally relate
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to it because whenever you post things
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and you're not getting the engagement that you want or comments
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and you're thinking to myself, to yourself, why am
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I doing this? Is anybody even listening? Is anybody seeing
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my concept? Does it resonate with other moms?
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And sometimes you want to hear that feedback.
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When you don't, you just like wanted to give up. This is,
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this is where you are building that strong
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and tough skin to be able to get through anything.
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And this is where you also testing your content, you're testing yourself,
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how far you can push. Do you really want to be doing
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the business? Do you want to be really showing up online?
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Because you really love it and at some point you want to
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be touching people with your message. And if you don't feel passionate,
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of course you're going to give up. But if you feel passionate,
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then the success will come. And I tell you that multiple
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times where I heard from people that, hey, I really love your
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message. I really love your content. I know that I'm not really commenting
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and I'm not really engaging, but I'm seeing it.
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And I really love what you're doing. And those
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times in those moments that I, for me, it kind of clicks and I'm like,
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you know what? Must be in the right path, because even
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if I touch one, a couple of people, I'm doing something right.
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And I know that not everything is engaging on social
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media, but just hearing from some
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of the people, it's kind of makes me happy
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and melts my heart because all I want to do is share
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my stories and, and be able to help other
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moms to, and other women to find the
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strength and know that they're worth, they are worthy,
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they can do anything, and they can, they just
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have to go for it. And I
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tell you that, you know, your kids are watching you more
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than you think. I think that we don't really realize that, but.
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But they do. And this one always hits me personally
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because we tell our kids to be brave, to try new
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things, to go after what they want, because I really didn't have
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that as a child. That's why I had to really work on myself
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during my adult years and build
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that resilience, build that confidence myself. And so that
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I can tell my kids that they can be anything they want
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as long as, you know, I want them to do something they feel passionate,
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they love, and no, don't let anybody stop
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them. Don't let other people's opinions divert them from doing
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what they want to do. You know, but then here we are
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as moms with women, we sit on the sidelines of
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our own lives and they see that.
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They see whether you go for things or hold yourself back,
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they see whether you believe in yourself or doubt yourself.
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And I always think, what example do I want to set?
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Because it's not about being perfect. It's about showing
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them what it looks like to try to grow,
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to step into something even when it's scary,
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that something that, that's something they'll carry
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with them forever. And so, you know,
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if you start something and you quickly want to give up and anything,
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if you're not seeing the result, the kids see that, they're going to pick
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up on that and they, they just going to follow your steps without
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you even realizing. So you kind of want to be
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that example for them that when you work on something, even if you're not
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seeing the results and it's taking you time, you're still pushing through it,
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you're still going after your dreams and your goals. You're not giving up.
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And this is the best example that you can be or
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your kids. And you know, your life doesn't
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change until you move. At the end of the day, nothing changes
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if nothing changes. You can think about it, plan it, talk about
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it, dream about it. But your life only shifts when you take action,
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even small action like posting video,
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sending the message, starting the idea,
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trying the thing. It doesn't have to be perfect,
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it just has to start. So don't wait until you
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think, well, I'm gonna start when I know everything. I want to start when I'm
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per, when I, when it's, I feel like it's going to be perfect.
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Now start when it's messy, start when you don't know everything,
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but just start. Because you will get better by doing it.
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You, you're gonna learn through experience. Like I always say,
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when you go to college, yeah, you get out, you get a four year degree
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and whatever. If you continue on with education.
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But college gives you that stepping stone, it gives you
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that baseline. But you learn on the job.
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And I always, like I remember I was telling my son was that the best
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thing to learn is from people who've done it. And when you are in
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a room who, when you're surrounded by people who give you
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the knowledge, either financial or life knowledge. You soak
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that. You soak everything in. You listen,
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you just don't ignore because people will teach you,
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people will guide you. And this is the best experience,
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life experience that you can get. I remember my son told me
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that was talking to this,
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his friend's family member and he learned so much from
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the financial standpoint. He said, I've learned more conversations
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than I've learned in school. And this is where
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I said, see, this is where I've been telling you all along, is that you
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take advantage of being in those conversations.
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And, and this is gonna be the best learning
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experience that you can get. You can't get
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that in school and through books. You get it through life,
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through experiences of people who've done it.
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So if you're listening to this and there's something you've been putting off,
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something you keep telling yourself you'll start one day,
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take this as your sign. You don't need more time,
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you don't need more confidence. You don't need everything figured
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out. You just simply need to start. If this
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episode spoke to you, share it with another mom or woman who
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needs that little push today. And don't forget to follow and
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subscribe to Nady Unfiltered, because we're just getting started.