Latest / SisterSmart Leadership / 36: How Leaders Network Without Being a “Taker”

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36: How Leaders Network Without Being a “Taker” · SisterSmart Leadership

• 0:00
  Jill: women excel at giving.
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  We're raised to give and naturally look for ways to help others.
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  So how can you use this talent to your advantage in your career?
• 0:09
  Networking doesn't have to be a dirty word.
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  You can learn to love spending time building your network if
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  you just have the right mindset.
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  So after building my own network as a giver, I'm going to share
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  with you some of the best tips for how I've created a reputation.
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  as someone people can count on and who they turn to when they need an expert.
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  I was recently consulted by a doctoral student when analyzing her data.
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  I was quoted in Fast Company Magazine and I've been invited as a podcast
• 0:35
  guest and to collaborate with other social media influencers as a result
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  of the reputation that I've built.
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  In this episode, we are going to explore a whole new way to
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  look at creating your network.
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  By building relationships that matter with people that you enjoy spending time with.
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  So stick around because relationships are important to leaders and they are
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  more important the higher you rise.
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  So if you have room for improvement in your networking strategy, even if
• 1:00
  you've been resisting the whole idea of networking, this episode's for you.
• 1:04
  Jill Avey: I'm Jill Avey, a career success coach, and this is Sister
• 1:07
  Smart Leadership, the show that explores how women can rise from
• 1:11
  director to vice president and beyond by fully leaning into their feminine
• 1:16
  energy as their biggest advantage.
• 1:18
  Let's get you one step closer to the recognition and promotion you deserve.
• 1:23
  Jill: See, the problem I see most often with mid career women is that women have
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  this allergic reaction to networking.
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  They don't want to feel cheesy, sleazy, or like they're only out for themselves.
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  They've seen others doing this and they don't want to
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  be perceived in the same way.
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  But the problem with this is it holds them back in their careers.
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  I have two books for you to read on this topic.
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  Give and Take by Adam Grant.
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  and the Art of Gathering by Priya Parker.
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  In the Sister Smart Leadership Program, we go in depth into the framework by
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  Adam Grant in his book, Give and Take.
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  So I'll give you an overview here.
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  Givers are, as you can imagine, the people who give in their network
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  and they find ways to help others and they are constantly looking
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  for what they can do for others.
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  The problem with givers is that sometimes we overgive or we get taken by takers.
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  And so we want to be watching out for takers.
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  So what are takers?
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  Takers are people who are just looking out for themselves and they just want to
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  get what they can from you and they're not going to give you anything back.
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  And then we have also what's called matchers.
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  And this is people who only give as much as they get.
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  And they're constantly kind of doing the calculation.
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  And this isn't actually the place that we want to be.
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  Where we want to be is really giving freely and knowing that if when we put
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  it out there that it's going to come back to us in some form, but it doesn't have
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  to come back to us from that same person.
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  And so we can just give freely, not over giving, but giving enough that we know
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  that it's going to be a virtuous cycle.
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  So think about what can we give?
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  Some people feel like they have nothing to offer, and this really
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  stops them from wanting to, kind of engage in this style of networking.
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  But we all have expertise that others need.
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  So think about that doctoral student.
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  She knew that I love research.
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  Is there something that you're really known for in your field?
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  I'm known for being an expert on women's leadership.
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  So when people want to talk about what the latest research is or check about their
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  research, they're going to come to me and ask me about what my opinion is on it.
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  But we all have expertise that other people need.
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  Maybe you know a lot about a certain topic and you've read all the research on it.
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  You can be that go to expert for that topic.
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  Maybe you like writing and you can be somebody that people come to for quotes.
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  Maybe you are an expert at social media and that is something that
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  you can use to engage with others and develop a giving network.
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  Perhaps you like to speak and you can be somebody that people can draw on for that.
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  Are you a connector and you love putting people together?
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  That can be a great service for others.
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  Perhaps you love entertaining and you're somebody that is great at gathering
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  people together or putting on an event.
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  Maybe you like to organize things and you're one to make sure that, everything
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  is put together and running orderly.
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  This can be a great for events and when you're gathering people together as well.
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  What do you geek out on that other people find mystifying?
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  That's a great place to start.
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  Next, think about how you can collaborate with people.
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  I find this is the powerhouse of a giving network, is when you can
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  start collaborating with others.
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  So perhaps you start a podcast.
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  I have clients that have started their own podcast about their topic where
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  their expertise is and they can draw in people where they're interviewing
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  industry experts and you get to know all kinds of people that way.
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  You're showcasing your talents and you're showcasing their
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  talents all at the same time.
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  As well, you can collaborate on writing a book.
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  There are a lot of books that are written as short stories or as stories that are,
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  examples of different people's expertise.
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  Blogs and articles can be collaborative as well.
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  I've been quoted in collaborative articles as well as blog posts.
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  and also collaborative LinkedIn posts.
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  So I've also been a participant in several collaborative LinkedIn posts
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  where one creator will bring together a bunch of people to create a post.
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  And that's really fun to do.
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  You really get to know people in a better way.
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  So in our program, we have a four part training on how to create a social
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  media presence as a professional.
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  And this can be a powerhouse Hub for how you can collaborate with others.
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  You can get invited to speak at industry events this way because you get your
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  expertise known in a broader scale with people you might not even have known
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  were putting on an event and now they know you because of your efforts in
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  social media, you can get quoted in articles that people are writing because
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  they've learned about you the same way.
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  And it also helps you with visibility in your own company for your expertise.
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  especially helpful when you have your next job search or being found by recruiters.
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  So it's really important to invest some time into becoming one of
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  the known experts on LinkedIn.
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  What if you don't know how to write?
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  A lot of people will hold themselves back from doing these kinds of
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  things because they don't feel like they know how to write good enough.
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  but there are plenty of coaching programs or you can hire a writing coach.
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  If you want to write a book, there's a lot of coaches that can help you do that.
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  And then there's programs that can help you learn how to blog or write social
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  media posts, and that will fast track you to get there quickly and easily.
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  So don't let that hold you back.
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  Now, another way to think about it is that you could be a person who gathers people.
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  So think about how could you gather three to 10 people together that are
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  experts in your industry or that are peers that you may want to get to know.
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  Again, I want you to draw on The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker for this.
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  She is an expert and she will inspire you to put together some kind of
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  gathering if you read her book.
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  And think about places that you can bring people together.
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  So an industry conference is a great place because you're all together in one area
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  and you could bring everybody together for a lunch or a coffee or a dinner.
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  Breakfast is another good thing for conferences and you
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  can just take advantage of everybody being in the same city
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  as well.
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  Think about your own city and you could bring people together in your area
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  for a dinner or same thing, breakfast or lunch or that kind of thing.
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  Or when you travel to another city, that would be a great time to meet
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  people in that particular place.
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  What if you like a lot of my clients are in pharmaceuticals
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  and there's a hub in New Jersey.
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  So maybe you're traveling to that area for a specific event.
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  You could pull together your colleagues in that area.
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  And when you do pull everybody together a meal is a great way
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  food or drinks is always a great way to bring people together.
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  But you could also think of doing a fun sport or an activity or even
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  hosting a dinner at your own home.
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  These are all ideas about how you can bring people together and
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  where you can bring them together.
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  I've had several clients who have gotten to know industry leaders
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  by being on the board of their industry association as well.
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  So particularly if there's a women's group, this be really helpful
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  because often women are supporting women, but don't rule it out if
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  there's no women's group, because men are big supporters of women.
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  So either way, this is a good way to go.
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  if you have time for this kind of involvement, this can be a more time
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  consuming, ongoing time commitment that you need to be prepared for.
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  The benefit of it is that you expose yourself to people from a lot of
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  different companies in your field and this can be great for networking.
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  Particularly if you might be looking for a new job in the next year or two.
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  But be careful to think about who you're actually meeting when
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  you volunteer for the board.
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  I recommend going for like a membership role.
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  or being a person who looks for speakers at events or something like that, where
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  you're reaching out to others and you're getting to know a lot of people versus
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  working on something on the back end.
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  I found this out the hard way myself because, I tended to be the communications
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  person who would be sending out the emails and things like that.
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  when I was volunteering, but that was a back end role and I wasn't
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  meeting a lot of people that way.
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  And it was much more beneficial for me when I switched to being like
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  the membership person and I got to meet everybody new coming in and
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  also working with the other board members kind of in a more direct way.
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  Another great role that I did was to be the person who was creating the
• 9:17
  newsletter, because that helped me to be able to reach out to specific
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  people that I wanted to meet because I could interview them for the
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  newsletter and write something up.
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  So how to gather these people together.
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  Like who?
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  Who are the people that you really want to be in your gathering?
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  So think about non-competitive people who are in the same industry.
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  and people that, would you like to have a drink with them?
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  Are they people that you want to meet?
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  An example of this is that I regularly meet with other coaches and we
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  pull together groups and we can talk about social media outreach.
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  We can talk about business systems.
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  We can talk about workplace trends for women, coaching tools and modalities.
• 9:58
  things like that.
• 10:00
  And we're here to help.
• 10:01
  And we approach it from an abundance mindset.
• 10:03
  So we're not worried about giving you each other, secrets or things like that.
• 10:07
  Of course, we're not going to talk about our trade secrets and, when, you're
• 10:10
  not going to talk about the things that really make your company Stand
• 10:13
  out and give you your competitive edge, but there are so many other things,
• 10:17
  the other 90 percent of what you do can be things that you can talk about.
• 10:21
  And so, you're just thinking through how you talk about those things and what
• 10:26
  you're talking about and what are those peripheral things that you can think of.
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  So think about these common things that you face in your business.
• 10:34
  When I was in marketing, I met with other marketers who sold different
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  products and we were all facing the same industry trends and we were
• 10:42
  trying to reach the same customers.
• 10:44
  So, we had the same issues here and it really helped each other to be
• 10:48
  talking about the industry trends and what we're seeing and, And being able
• 10:52
  to discuss what does that mean to us?
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  And what does that mean for our future?
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  This often resulted in collaborations.
• 10:58
  And one of the best ones that I did was this event series where I brought
• 11:01
  people together from other companies and I brought in their product that
• 11:05
  they were wanting to promote and really push for that next season.
• 11:09
  And it helped me build relationships with all those other marketing
• 11:12
  directors and really got my name out there in the business.
• 11:14
  So In fact, that was how Timberland knew of my work before I interviewed with them.
• 11:19
  And they knew that they wanted me to do the same things for them as I did
• 11:23
  for my brand, beyond that event, even.
• 11:26
  So some things that you could talk about are industry trends, as I mentioned.
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  Upcoming challenges.
• 11:32
  What are the forces that are affecting your customers?
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  For example, you don't have to divulge company secrets, as I mentioned, but what
• 11:38
  are you doing to solve different problems?
• 11:41
  What are the software tools that you're using and how are you using them?
• 11:44
  And of course you can talk about leadership, the personal
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  side of the business and how are we leading in our roles.
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  is something that you could always talk about.
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  And it really helps you develop those personal relationships when
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  you start to get real about, how you're operating in, like how you're
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  being rather than what you're doing.
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  So think about what you might be able to talk about with a group
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  of people in your community.
• 12:09
  So at the end of each episode, I like to give you three shifts that
• 12:12
  you can make today to get started on what we've just talked about.
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  So first think about what does giving mean to you?
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  What are some things that you could give?
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  And the second shift today is to identify one way that you could collaborate
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  with someone in your industry.
• 12:28
  Is it through a dinner?
• 12:29
  Do you like to write?
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  Your industry association?
• 12:32
  What's an entry point that you could make and make networking
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  a giving thing for you?
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  And third, identify one person that you could collaborate with.
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  Who is someone that you would like to stay in touch with, but
• 12:44
  haven't had a good reason to do so?
• 12:46
  So what's one thing new that you learned in this episode?
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  I'd love to hear where you would like to start giving.
• 12:51
  Share it with us in the comments.
• 12:53
  If you're watching this on YouTube.
• 12:55
  And if you're interested in taking your career to the next level, I invite you
• 12:58
  to check out our private podcast called the Seven Step Passport to Promotion.
• 13:03
  You can find that at sistersmart.
• 13:04
  com and I'll put the link in the show notes to take you right there.
• 13:08
  If you'd like to dive deeper into women's leadership and how to
• 13:10
  move up in your career, subscribe either on YouTube or wherever you
• 13:14
  listen to your favorite podcasts.
• 13:16
  I'm on a mission to help more women get into leadership and stay there.
• 13:19
  And if that's aligned with you.
• 13:21
  I'd love to have you be part of this community and tune into more episodes on
• 13:25
  Sister Smart Leadership that will support you in becoming the leader you want to be.
• 13:30
  If you're ready to fully lean into your feminine leadership and get promoted
• 13:34
  from director to vice president and beyond, hit that subscribe button so
• 13:38
  you'll get all the episodes to come and check out the recommended video here
• 13:42
  to see how women are rising up without playing by the old rules that built these
• 13:46
  male dominated industries and systems.