Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 1 - April Fools!

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Hour 1 - April Fools! · The Ben Maller Show

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Speaker 1: On your mark, Get set go. It's our number one,
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Speaker 1: our one of the Ben Malers Show podcast, the original
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Speaker 1: Recipe podcast, No added ingredients, No added ingredients. Here in
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Speaker 1: our number one on this April second, this Thursday, April second,
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Speaker 1: we welcome into the audio dojo, and here in hour
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Speaker 1: one we talk about that great April Fruls prank. Does
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Speaker 1: Mike Florio deserve to be mocked and ridiculed for reporting
0:30
Speaker 1: the Broncos interest in Aaron Rodgers all accounts saying that
0:36
Speaker 1: there is no interest. Also, it's just a gag. Would
0:39
Speaker 1: the NFL be endangering player's health with scab officials? That
0:44
Speaker 1: story is being spread around. And Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza,
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Speaker 1: projected to be the number one pick in the Ray
0:54
Speaker 1: of Sunshine for the Raiders, had supposedly a sparkling pro
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Speaker 1: day in Bloomington. How much does this even matter? We'll
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Speaker 1: talk about that and more right now.
1:06
Speaker 2: Say like a piece of cheesecake, it's our number one.
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Speaker 1: Roger, that Roger, what are you talking about? I don't
1:18
Speaker 1: even know what you're talking about. Welcome in not beginning
1:24
Speaker 1: of another night of.
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Speaker 2: The Ben Malord Shows. Like we're circling the moon here
1:29
Speaker 2: as we are in the air.
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Speaker 1: Ev rewhere like minded patrons as we stay in the
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Speaker 1: dark every night.
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Speaker 2: We are in the dark, coast to coast.
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Speaker 1: Border the border in beyond, on the vast and breath
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Speaker 1: taking me powerful microphones of FSR emmundating live from the
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Speaker 1: click clicking a click as we click at a place
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Speaker 1: from the world famous Fox Sports Radio studios. Now the
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3:18
Speaker 1: And with that we settle into the bully pulpit here
3:23
Speaker 1: at Fox Sports Radio. Lower my chair here, let's say
3:27
Speaker 1: there we go go too high? All right, very good,
3:29
Speaker 1: all right, We're ready to go here. So what a story,
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Speaker 1: What a freaking great story to begin the festivities here.
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Speaker 1: Our lead comes from the hood, the neighborhood. But not
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Speaker 1: anyone's neighbor. No, not just anyone's neighborhood. It's mister Rogers neighborhood.
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Speaker 1: Yet again, on a sleepy early April day, we were
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Speaker 1: given the gift of a.
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Speaker 2: L classico L classical story.
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Speaker 1: Woke up to a flurry of text messages, Hey you
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Speaker 1: hear about this? And so I say, well, I don't know.
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Speaker 1: I'm just waking up. I don't hear about How could
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Speaker 1: I have heard about it?
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Speaker 2: Wake me up?
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Speaker 1: And tell me, and then I went back to bed.
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Speaker 1: So there was a the story came out. It wasn't
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Speaker 1: even a mystery team that was knocking on Aaron Rodgers door.
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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, out of you saw that. You
4:21
Speaker 2: might not have seen it. You don't pay attention. I
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Speaker 2: don't know.
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Speaker 1: So this report claimed that the Broncos, yes those Denver Broncos.
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Speaker 2: That were a win away of getting to.
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Speaker 1: The Super Bowl, were all horny to get some Aaron Rodgers.
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Speaker 1: They were interested in Aaron Rodgers bringing him in for
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Speaker 1: a visit.
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Speaker 2: Now I'm serious.
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Speaker 1: This got reported, This got reported. Yes, I know, it's crazy.
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Speaker 1: Blogger Mike Florio, the Wokester Mike Florio Pro Football Talk
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Speaker 1: claimed that the Broncos were concerned that the current starter
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Speaker 1: Bo Nicks will not fully be back one hundred percent
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Speaker 1: when the season starts. Now, this story, which many believe
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Speaker 1: was greatly exaggerated. The floodgates opened up and the flag
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Speaker 1: is up and we're off to the races here. So
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Speaker 1: bounced all over the echo chamber, all over the echo chamber.
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Speaker 1: There several longtime Denver beat writers, not that beat writers
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Speaker 1: know everything, but they were cleming on it is zero
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Speaker 1: once said zero percent chance that this happens.
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Speaker 2: The Broncos pursuing Aaron Rodgers.
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Speaker 1: So this of course led to a dog pile, people
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Speaker 1: piling on the credibility or lack thereof, of the blog
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Speaker 1: pro football talk.
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Speaker 2: So that is a good jumping off point.
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Speaker 1: Let us discuss the question does blogger Mike Florio deserve
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Speaker 1: to be mocked and ridiculed for seemingly reporting with a
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Speaker 1: straight face that the Broncos Broncos wanted Aaron Rodgers to
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Speaker 1: come visit. All right, So my thoughts on this, I've
6:08
Speaker 1: got Southwest, deep Fried and Burger King, and we're gonna
6:15
Speaker 1: put all of these things together, and we are going
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Speaker 1: to be sold a bill of goods, much like Mike
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Speaker 1: Florio was apparently sold the bill of goods.
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Speaker 2: All right, So this is a first of all, it's
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Speaker 2: great story. It's it's hilarious on so many levels.
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Speaker 1: It's almost as good as when Adam Schefter reported the
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Speaker 1: Browns were interested in Condaleza Rice. Remember that that was
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Speaker 1: so good that wasn't even April Fool's Day. So we
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Speaker 1: are stupefied is the word I use, the word stupefied.
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Speaker 1: We are stupefied by the sheer unadulterated incompetence in many
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Speaker 1: fashion facets of the sports media industrial complex, and all
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Speaker 1: that is great. So Mike Florio, who's been doing this
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Speaker 1: a long time. In fact, when I started my website
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Speaker 1: Benmallar dot com, I don't have anymore, but years ago,
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Speaker 1: and I did gossip stuff blogging.
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Speaker 2: Florio was part of it. Was part of a.
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Speaker 1: Group that had several people. It was like multiple people
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Speaker 1: that were running these sports blogs at basketball, football, baseball,
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Speaker 1: and hockey, and they dumped all the other ones and
7:23
Speaker 1: Floryo kind of went on his own, I remember correctly,
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Speaker 1: and just started doing the football thing and obviously made
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Speaker 1: a career out of it. Makes a lot of money.
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Speaker 1: All that good for him. So this one, though, is great.
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Speaker 1: Mike Florio ready to board a Southwest Airlines flight because
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Speaker 1: he certainly he wants that want to get away fair
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Speaker 1: that they had for so long. I want to get away,
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Speaker 1: my god. At least he lives in West Virginia, so
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Speaker 1: he is kind of away from everything at that point. Here,
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Speaker 1: this is a banana cream pie, right to the face,
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Speaker 1: right to the shahs, is what this is Florio walking around.
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Speaker 1: I am his West Virginia home out there in the
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Speaker 1: in the boondocks with a giant red foam nose and
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Speaker 1: clown makeup, because clearly he forgot the date. It's April first,
8:17
Speaker 1: well not still April first in the West, but it's
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Speaker 1: April second. But you know, the story came out April first.
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Speaker 1: Clearly Florio did not check the app store.
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Speaker 2: He needed a bug fix for his brain.
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Speaker 1: This is the equivalent in putting this out there is
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Speaker 1: the akin to walking face first into a sliding glass
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Speaker 1: door like that. That's not good, that's not This smells
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Speaker 1: like a false flag.
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Speaker 2: It does.
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Speaker 1: And in the cartoon bubble in my head, Aaron Rodgers
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Speaker 1: or someone associated where Rogers planted the story and then
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Speaker 1: sat back and watched as this thing started bouncing around here.
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Speaker 1: And of course you said, well, why would you want
9:03
Speaker 1: to go to Denver? If he wants to play, he
9:05
Speaker 1: can go to Pittsburgh and have the key to the
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Speaker 1: Perogi factory.
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Speaker 2: So it makes no sense.
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Speaker 1: And Florio, Mike Floria, essentially got ha ha from like
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Speaker 1: Nelson of the Simpsons right there, and just great, he
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Speaker 1: got the big gulp for gullibility big time. And it's
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Speaker 1: just great, just absolutely great. And the only thing about
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Speaker 1: it too, is I imagine at some point Aaron Rodgers,
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Speaker 1: will you go play grab ass with his buddy with
9:35
Speaker 1: the blogger there, not blogger, the podcaster guy Joe Rogan
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Speaker 1: in Austin.
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Speaker 2: They'll drink some ayahuasca and they'll say, oh, yeah, I
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Speaker 2: liked this story and the city it wrote it. What
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Speaker 2: a moron, he didn't even check the date. All right.
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Speaker 1: Meanwhile, to the Zebras we go. We go to the
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Speaker 1: Zebras where the NFL Players Association has come out in
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Speaker 1: support shockingly of the embattled officials. Yeah, we're getting close
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Speaker 1: to a deadline here next month where the NFL will
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Speaker 1: say bye bye to the referees and bringing a bunch
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Speaker 1: of replacement scab officials. And so the players Union issued
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Speaker 1: a statement of support for the officials. The NFL has
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Speaker 1: started to compile a list, not a big board, a
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Speaker 1: list of officials, and a lot of them low level
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Speaker 1: college officials who are going to get the gig of
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Speaker 1: a lifetime, the gig you mentioned.
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Speaker 2: You're doing some.
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Speaker 1: Backwater officiating and you get a call, Hey, how would
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Speaker 1: you like the ref an NFL game? Are you freaking
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Speaker 1: kidding me? Stop busting my balls? Why are you busting
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Speaker 1: my balls. No, it's real, really, So that's where that's going.
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Speaker 1: They're gonna start training them less than a month from now,
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Speaker 1: the beginning of May May first, and the existing agreement
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Speaker 1: between the officials and the NFL will end May thirty first.
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Speaker 1: So take that with a great assault. The question would
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Speaker 1: the NFL Would the NFL be endangering player self because
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Speaker 1: that was one of the arguments the players union made
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Speaker 1: that we need our beloved officials. You're risking the health
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Speaker 1: of our players. Hello, yeah, okay, so that was the argument.
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Speaker 1: So would the NFL be endangering player safety with scab officials?
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Speaker 1: So I'm giving this one SIDEI now that's my resigning.
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Speaker 1: I give his side. The NFLPA is sounding the alarm
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Speaker 1: player safety play out of an abundance of caution prior safety.
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Speaker 2: All that crap. It's like there Paul Revere riding through
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Speaker 2: the village.
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Speaker 1: The scabs are coming, The scabs are coming. Gime on,
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Speaker 1: this is so stupid. Anyway, I'm not I am not
12:01
Speaker 1: not even there. I'm not even ever say let me
12:03
Speaker 1: tell you why. Now I can't explained why because I've
12:07
Speaker 1: got the mile long CBS receipts, you know, those that
12:12
Speaker 1: extra care thing where they give you the really long
12:14
Speaker 1: receipts and all. Yeah, so I've got that. Let's roll
12:17
Speaker 1: out the hot Tub time Machine. This is not my
12:20
Speaker 1: first talk show. I've been here for a few years,
12:22
Speaker 1: and I recall in this very chair was actually out
12:26
Speaker 1: this door, and then you go down a small hall
12:28
Speaker 1: and then you make a right, and then from there
12:31
Speaker 1: you go and make a quick left and then you
12:34
Speaker 1: go in that studio and that's where that's where we
12:37
Speaker 1: did these rants. But it was all the way back.
12:39
Speaker 1: We'll set the hot Tub Time Machine to twenty twelve.
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Speaker 1: There was a referee lockout. Oh my god, Yes, it
12:46
Speaker 1: happened fourteen years ago. I was a child, I was
12:49
Speaker 1: a little kid.
12:50
Speaker 2: I came in.
12:50
Speaker 1: I was in fourth grade and I came in and
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Speaker 1: I talked about this. Do you remember the circus?
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Speaker 2: You do? Okay, good? You remember?
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Speaker 1: So the replacement referees stumbling and bumbling out there on
13:02
Speaker 1: the field like they just got off a red eye
13:05
Speaker 1: from Perth, Australia with no coffee. And yet we had
13:09
Speaker 1: the legendary, as it was called at the time, the
13:12
Speaker 1: fail Mary in Seattle in a primetime game, a call
13:16
Speaker 1: so atrocious I believe it got its own Netflix docu series.
13:20
Speaker 1: It was that bad. Nevertheless, the plot twist, here's the
13:24
Speaker 1: plot twist. Let me give you the plot twist.
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Speaker 2: Okay, we had scab officials.
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Speaker 1: We did not have an injury. Apocalypse didn't happen. Didn't happen.
13:34
Speaker 1: There was no doomsday scenario, no, no spike in the carnage.
13:40
Speaker 1: And so this argument, and I say, well, you don't
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Speaker 1: support replacement scab officials.
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Speaker 2: I get it.
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Speaker 1: But here's the thing. It's not player safety. That's the
13:49
Speaker 1: wrong argument, because that is a deep fried red herring
13:54
Speaker 1: HOGI wrapped in a smoke screen, dipped in propaganda, sauce,
14:00
Speaker 1: a nice side of saucy propaganda.
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Speaker 2: That's what that is. Football.
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Speaker 1: We keep getting told there's a gladiator sport. It's a
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Speaker 1: sport of gladiators and bumper cars at one hundred miles
14:11
Speaker 1: per hour, all that stuff. So the danger is then
14:14
Speaker 1: baked into the cake. It's inside the cake. The size,
14:17
Speaker 1: the speed, the torque to force, all that stuff. And
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Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter whether the official a just hired
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Speaker 1: from foot locker or has ten years.
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Speaker 2: On the job. It doesn't matter.
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Speaker 1: It really doesn't in that regard. And so let's be real. Here,
14:34
Speaker 1: the regular referees miss a bunch of calls.
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Speaker 2: It happens.
14:38
Speaker 1: That's a human element. So it's not about player safety.
14:42
Speaker 1: Say you shouldn't use replacements, and that's not right, and
14:45
Speaker 1: all this stuff. It's always about the money. The NFL's
14:47
Speaker 1: plenty of money. The owner stuff. They can pay the
14:49
Speaker 1: give the officials whatever they want financially. There's some other
14:53
Speaker 1: stuff involved if you read and listen between the words,
14:57
Speaker 1: there's some other stuff involved in this, but it's not
14:59
Speaker 1: the money.
15:00
Speaker 2: NFL owners.
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Speaker 1: So, as we've said a million times, they're like Mexican
15:03
Speaker 1: drug lords. They have. They're like El Chopo back in
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Speaker 1: the day. They're just bearing money. They don't know what
15:07
Speaker 1: to do with all the money. They got so much money.
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Speaker 1: All right, last word, Here to Bloomington, Indiana we go
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Speaker 1: where Hoosier Bill has a Cheshire cat smile from ear
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Speaker 1: to ear. So all thirty two NFL teams, we were told,
15:23
Speaker 1: ran up the expense account and sent scouts to Indiana
15:28
Speaker 1: Hoosier's pro day. That's something that's never happened in my lifetime.
15:34
Speaker 1: Normally they had to pay for scouts to show to
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Speaker 1: Hoosier's pro day because they had no business scouts being
15:40
Speaker 1: there anyway, there were a bunch of media freeloaders that
15:43
Speaker 1: were there as well.
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Speaker 2: Credentialed media.
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Speaker 1: Most came to see the player that is the de
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Speaker 1: facto top pick in the draft later this month, Fernando
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Speaker 1: Mendoza workout. You know my position on Mendoza, if you've
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Speaker 1: listened to previous shows, this has a chance of being
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Speaker 1: a tremendous, tremendous debacle, real debacle. And so, of course,
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Speaker 1: with one hundred media paid to be there, the story
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Speaker 1: is that Fernando Mendoza was just clowing clowing. Reports of
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Speaker 1: his performance just freaking amazing. Mendoza threw fifty six passes.
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Speaker 1: Fifty six passes roughly. He threw short passes, he threw
16:27
Speaker 1: deep passes. He threw medium, medium rangs, all of them
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Speaker 1: all over the field, right and targeted receivers to the left,
16:35
Speaker 1: to the right, over the middle. Oh my god, it's
16:38
Speaker 1: like he's throwing against air. It's so amazing shocking. I
16:43
Speaker 1: also threw in the run.
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 1: Okay, So question. Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza had what reports
16:52
Speaker 1: say was a sparkling pro day getting ready for the
16:56
Speaker 1: NFL Draft. So how much much does that even matter?
17:01
Speaker 1: How much does that even matter? That is the question.
17:05
Speaker 1: So this was a game of charades in Bloomington, it was,
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Speaker 1: and this has become over the last ten to fifteen years.
17:14
Speaker 1: It's become a legend building workshop. That's what it is,
17:19
Speaker 1: a legend building workshop. The hype machine giving out all
17:24
Speaker 1: kinds of propaganda. I would say, more propaganda than state
17:27
Speaker 1: run media. It's just over the top, right over the top.
17:32
Speaker 1: And from what we're told, Tom Brady's Raiders, they've already
17:38
Speaker 1: made their minds up. They made their minds up, but
17:39
Speaker 1: prior to the pro day, this is their guy. They
17:43
Speaker 1: got their man and that's it. And they're going to
17:45
Speaker 1: consummate the relationship at the first pick in the NFL
17:48
Speaker 1: Draft and that's going to be that. And so this
17:52
Speaker 1: entire circus, if you were there for Fernando Mendoza, was
17:55
Speaker 1: a bunch of malarkey, is what that was. And so
17:58
Speaker 1: the pigskin scrap always focus on the good, the positive.
18:03
Speaker 1: As talk show host, we focus on the negative, right
18:07
Speaker 1: we do. Yes, I know it's shocking. Don't bury the lead,
18:11
Speaker 1: my man, don't. I would try not to bury the lead.
18:14
Speaker 1: I just try to the football scribes. Avoid the bad,
18:19
Speaker 1: just ignore, just ignore the bad. Is it true that
18:24
Speaker 1: Fernanda Mendos had several.
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Speaker 2: Throws, several throws.
18:27
Speaker 1: That were of amateur hour and not up to NFL
18:31
Speaker 1: standards while playing against air, Yes, overthrowing a receiver that
18:36
Speaker 1: had to dive to catch the ball but didn't catch it.
18:39
Speaker 1: Throwing multiple bounce passes like a point guard in the NBA.
18:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, bounce seat, bounce seat, bounce eat, just like that.
18:48
Speaker 1: So, in general, my position on pro Day has been consistent.
18:52
Speaker 1: It is akin to a Burger King commercial for a whopper.
18:58
Speaker 1: You ever see these scores, I might, my god, the
19:00
Speaker 1: whopper looks like the most amazing burger you could possibly
19:03
Speaker 1: put in your mouth.
19:05
Speaker 2: It's just yes, it's all.
19:07
Speaker 1: Food, stylus and lighting, and they I've seen some of
19:11
Speaker 1: the tricks. They undercook the patties to look nice and plump,
19:14
Speaker 1: and they paint little grill marks on the burgers so
19:17
Speaker 1: it looks like they were perfectly grilled, and then they
19:19
Speaker 1: puff up the sesame I heard past seed buns. They
19:23
Speaker 1: use all kinds of tricks, but they like tweezers and
19:25
Speaker 1: glue and all that stuff. So it's it's all scripted. Reality,
19:30
Speaker 1: just like Pro Day. It's scripted reality. It's familiar turf.
19:34
Speaker 1: It's not going against any defensive players. There's no pass
19:37
Speaker 1: rush or anything like that. And in the real world.
19:42
Speaker 1: My experience with Burger King is you get the dry burger,
19:45
Speaker 1: which I don't mind other people complain about that. It
19:47
Speaker 1: does not look esthetically pleasing when you get it, and
19:51
Speaker 1: the buns normally smashed up and it's like lukewarm. The
19:56
Speaker 1: toppings are not particularly good. The special effects make it
20:00
Speaker 1: look solid. It is the Ben Malord Show. If you
20:04
Speaker 1: would like to be part. The easiest time to get
20:06
Speaker 1: in is right now, gets progressively harder as we go
20:09
Speaker 1: through the overnight. So if you you know you don't
20:11
Speaker 1: have to call, let me just be very clear. We
20:12
Speaker 1: have plenty of things to talk about. However, if you're
20:15
Speaker 1: interested in the Aaron Rodgers April Fools joke, I cannot
20:18
Speaker 1: wait till Rogers does a sit down somewhere with one
20:22
Speaker 1: of his buddies and plays grab ass and then so,
20:24
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, that's this idiot fell for that story.
20:27
Speaker 1: Oh my god, great, absolutely great.
20:31
Speaker 2: So we'll take your calls.
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Speaker 1: Eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven
20:36
Speaker 1: nine nine six sixty three sixty nine. Also on X
20:39
Speaker 1: at Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mallor. Later this hour
20:44
Speaker 1: we have the who Am I Game? Next hour it's
20:46
Speaker 1: Mallard to the third Degree and the Insta Trivia Got
20:49
Speaker 1: the Riddle of the Day an hour three and ask
20:52
Speaker 1: Ben hashtag Ask Ben. That'll be coming up an hour
20:55
Speaker 1: number three as well, and then an hour for fact
20:58
Speaker 1: or fiction and some other things. We'll be tossed on
21:02
Speaker 1: top extra toppings throughout tonight. So the story here it
21:08
Speaker 1: was just a sampling. It was a sampling. We'll get
21:12
Speaker 1: to that in Barnstorming one oh one. We'll get to
21:15
Speaker 1: both of those stories, and your phone calls will do
21:18
Speaker 1: it all, and we will do it.
21:22
Speaker 2: Next.
21:23
Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meler
21:25
Speaker 3: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
21:29
Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
21:32
Speaker 2: Hey it's me Rob Parker.
21:35
Speaker 4: Check out my weekly MLB podcast, Inside the Parker for
21:39
Speaker 4: twenty two minutes of pipeing hot baseball talk, featuring the
21:43
Speaker 4: biggest names of newsmakers in the sport. Whether you believe
21:46
Speaker 4: in analytics or the I test, We've got all the
21:50
Speaker 4: bases covered. New episodes drop every Thursday, So do yourself
21:54
Speaker 4: a favor and listen to Inside.
21:56
Speaker 2: The Parker with Rob Parker on the.
21:58
Speaker 4: iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast, Bill Miller
22:03
Speaker 4: and you.
22:03
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Mallor Show. We are glad you
22:06
Speaker 1: have chosen to hang out with some reinder that the
22:09
Speaker 1: new season of Mallord Meet and Greets is going to happen.
22:13
Speaker 1: In fact, the first one is later this month if
22:15
Speaker 1: you live in the Cincinnati area, if it's geographically desirable,
22:22
Speaker 1: April twenty fifth at a venue two be determined, will
22:27
Speaker 1: be the first Mallard Meet and Greet'll be hitting Ohio
22:32
Speaker 1: or Northern Kentucky as we like to call it, but
22:35
Speaker 1: we'll be there. And it's really not about a Mallor
22:38
Speaker 1: meet and greet. It's about Dick, Dick from Dayton, That's
22:42
Speaker 1: what it's all about. The Dixter who is scheduled to
22:45
Speaker 1: be there, and if he's not there, I'm canceling the
22:47
Speaker 1: whole event.
22:48
Speaker 2: He better be there.
22:49
Speaker 1: Give me a little taste of that Dick. That's great,
22:51
Speaker 1: Dick and Dayton iconic, a man who loves radio. Can
22:55
Speaker 1: we please find more people that truly love talk radio?
22:59
Speaker 1: The way that Dick and Dayton worships talk radio. And
23:02
Speaker 1: there's other legends, big time people in the Mallord Militia,
23:06
Speaker 1: just Josh Justin and Cincinnati. There's rumors Ohio AI might
23:10
Speaker 1: make an appearance, and who knows else. We hope Cardiac
23:15
Speaker 1: Stanley can make it, the man that had a heart
23:17
Speaker 1: attack on the air years ago.
23:19
Speaker 2: So who knows.
23:21
Speaker 1: Some other members of the militia said to be flying
23:24
Speaker 1: in from other parts of the country. This is pretty wild,
23:30
Speaker 1: and people flying from the West coast and the Rocky Mountains.
23:34
Speaker 2: Who knows.
23:35
Speaker 1: Anyway, I'll be coming up April twenty fifth in the
23:37
Speaker 1: Boston will be May eighth, and then Worcester May ninth.
23:40
Speaker 1: More on that when we get closer to those events.
23:43
Speaker 1: You want to be part of the show eight seven,
23:44
Speaker 1: seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven, nine, nine,
23:48
Speaker 1: six sixty three sixty nine.
23:49
Speaker 2: Also on X.
23:51
Speaker 1: At Ben Malor. That's at Ben Malor. If you'd like
23:55
Speaker 1: to be part of the program, you can join the
23:58
Speaker 1: not Touch Mike Cow. That's my cow, although I think
24:01
Speaker 1: the cow went to slaughter the Mallard cow.
24:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and.
24:07
Speaker 1: I don't think I only we got another cow. I
24:11
Speaker 1: would think that we could get another cow, and we
24:14
Speaker 1: we have not been able to find the cow to
24:16
Speaker 1: replace the Mallard cow. That was a good looking, good
24:19
Speaker 1: looking hunk of meat right there, that cow, that's beautiful
24:22
Speaker 1: bovine goodness.
24:23
Speaker 2: That's a huge bitch.
24:24
Speaker 1: Absolutely look at the ass on that cow. But that
24:27
Speaker 1: cow made a lot of burgers, and I made people
24:31
Speaker 1: very happy, very very happy.
24:34
Speaker 2: Yeah.
24:35
Speaker 1: Uh, supermarket Steve says, I agree with everything Ben said
24:39
Speaker 1: in his first monologue. Yeah, even if he referred to
24:44
Speaker 1: me as a schmuck, suirk ass. You are a you
24:50
Speaker 1: have your your You are a schmuck. You suck And
24:53
Speaker 1: he says, have you really not posted a rundown in
24:56
Speaker 1: two days for the show? We'll get The rundown is
25:02
Speaker 1: an added it's an add on item. The rundown is
25:06
Speaker 1: an add on item. In fact, you know what, I'll
25:09
Speaker 1: publish it right now.
25:10
Speaker 2: What do they say, Ben? You get what you get
25:12
Speaker 2: and you don't throw a fit? That's right?
25:14
Speaker 1: And what do I always sail the rain? First of all,
25:15
Speaker 1: it's about the radio show. I don't get paid for
25:18
Speaker 1: social media. Trust me, I would be on there all
25:20
Speaker 1: day if they paid me. Okay, if they said, part
25:23
Speaker 1: of your job is to get on social media and
25:27
Speaker 1: post your entire freaking life. Hey, I took a dump
25:30
Speaker 1: at two o'clock. Here's a photo. No, I don't do
25:33
Speaker 1: that because I don't get paider po get. No, it's
25:36
Speaker 1: an add on. It's an add on item. It is
25:38
Speaker 1: an add on item. And that's the reality. So and
25:42
Speaker 1: that's the way it is. And I say, I gotta
25:44
Speaker 1: click this thing.
25:45
Speaker 2: Here, say clear that and then boom. Look at that.
25:53
Speaker 1: Now it's boom posted right there. Amazing technology has clicked
25:58
Speaker 1: a few buttons went right up there, you go.
26:02
Speaker 2: Ferk Doug says, F the rundown. F the rundown.
26:06
Speaker 1: They got turned on and scared me. Yeah, I understand,
26:11
Speaker 1: I absolutely understand. If Shannon and Moyes says Ben and Coop,
26:14
Speaker 1: please train the Queen of Ars to say how to
26:16
Speaker 1: say BUCkies correctly.
26:18
Speaker 2: Please.
26:19
Speaker 1: No, it's Boosy's baby, Shane and the Moyne is he's
26:23
Speaker 1: triggered Boosey.
26:24
Speaker 2: All right, let's see her.
26:26
Speaker 1: Late night drug tester says if the players want to
26:29
Speaker 1: keep the regular officials, they need to start saying replacement
26:34
Speaker 1: officials will cost the gamblers. Casinos are the big advertisers.
26:41
Speaker 1: Yeah no, that's that's accurate.
26:43
Speaker 2: That would be accurate.
26:44
Speaker 3: You have a gambling.
26:46
Speaker 2: Problem, Milkman.
26:47
Speaker 1: Mike from Colorado says comedic gold opening Malar monologue to
26:51
Speaker 1: start out the Thursday Show everything everyone rather everyone trying
26:55
Speaker 1: to get the drop on social media makes it so
26:59
Speaker 1: easy for them him to get punked, I think, is
27:02
Speaker 1: what he meant. Florio must get his news from the
27:05
Speaker 1: same place that Marcel does. Well, we'll see. I could
27:09
Speaker 1: be wrong. I just my gut tells me that this
27:12
Speaker 1: was a prank. Remember when Rogers was with the Packers,
27:16
Speaker 1: he would futts around and leak stuff out, and you
27:20
Speaker 1: know the classic Aaron Rodgers shenanigans. And I think at
27:24
Speaker 1: one point in one of those bromance interviews with Joe Rogan,
27:29
Speaker 1: he I thought he copped to it. He's, oh yeah,
27:31
Speaker 1: I like to see the reaction, you know, just kind
27:33
Speaker 1: of poke things out there in the media world and
27:35
Speaker 1: see what see what happens.
27:38
Speaker 2: So that's that's the way that goes for sure. Who
27:41
Speaker 2: else do we have? Let's see.
27:44
Speaker 1: Page down Gunner. Here's a hot take. Gunner says Burger
27:48
Speaker 1: King is better than McDonald's. Now that's a hot take
27:51
Speaker 1: by Gunner.
27:52
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily disagree. Yah, Burger king not in my rotation.
27:59
Speaker 1: Uh, mc donald's, the fries are so good at McDonald's. It's,
28:03
Speaker 1: you know, not as.
28:05
Speaker 2: Good as they were, but still a solid.
28:08
Speaker 1: Truck Stop Fungus is also belly aching about the rundown.
28:11
Speaker 1: He's got listen, truck stop Fungus, I gotta make Let
28:14
Speaker 1: me ask you, why do I have to make a
28:16
Speaker 1: guy who's like three hundred and fifty pounds in his
28:19
Speaker 1: tidy white, he's playing video games and shotgunning alcohol. Why
28:23
Speaker 1: do I have to appease that person? You don't exactly
28:26
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, Nature boy says. Florio got punked
28:30
Speaker 1: like the San Francisco TV station announcing the plane crash.
28:37
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was the single great That was
28:41
Speaker 1: the single greatest blooper in the history of bloopers. It
28:45
Speaker 1: will never be topped, not in my life. I don't
28:48
Speaker 1: care of a thousand lifetimes. It will never Oh well,
28:52
Speaker 1: playing unfortunately skid it off the runway, I believe in
28:54
Speaker 1: San Francisco, and the local TV station was reporting the
28:59
Speaker 1: the flight crew names and they repeated verbatim some very
29:03
Speaker 1: offensive names that were given to them and just Oh,
29:08
Speaker 1: it's right in the very the pinnacle of bloopers. It's
29:14
Speaker 1: like right near the pinnacle of blue when you think
29:16
Speaker 1: about the blooper pinnacle. My favorite in basketball is there
29:20
Speaker 1: was a guy named JaVale McGee who did this thing
29:23
Speaker 1: he used called when people used to watch Charles Barkley
29:25
Speaker 1: and Shack and Ernie Johnson.
29:27
Speaker 2: I don't think they're on TV anymore.
29:28
Speaker 1: I never see them, but they used to be on
29:29
Speaker 1: very popular show, and then ESPN got the show and
29:32
Speaker 1: no one watches it anymore because they don't want to it's on.
29:34
Speaker 1: But when they were at TNT and it was a
29:35
Speaker 1: popular show, they had this thing called Shack and a
29:38
Speaker 1: Fool and JaVale McGee was a wizard's game.
29:41
Speaker 2: And everyone everyone recorded.
29:43
Speaker 1: All nine players on the court other than Javal McGee
29:46
Speaker 1: were running one direction. They were dribbling the ball up.
29:48
Speaker 1: Javal McGee was running the wrong way. It was like
29:51
Speaker 1: a glitch in a video game. And even as funny
29:54
Speaker 1: as that is not as funny as the TV station
29:56
Speaker 1: in San Francisco blooper not as funny. Yeah, absolutely, what
30:01
Speaker 1: else do we have to see here? Spocks Weed says,
30:05
Speaker 1: we're circling the moon here wonderful reference. He says, it's
30:09
Speaker 1: a it's a big deal Spock's weed about the uh
30:13
Speaker 1: the moon cosmic event that is taking place right now. Yeah,
30:20
Speaker 1: it's a it's a big freaking deal. Absolutely, So we
30:24
Speaker 1: believe that Mike Florio was hornswoggle with an April Fool
30:31
Speaker 1: joke about Aaron Rodgers and the Broncos. There were a
30:33
Speaker 1: bunch of other April fools. Just I used to do
30:37
Speaker 1: the April Fools thing back in the day, and I
30:40
Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily do it on the air because it's kind
30:42
Speaker 1: of cliched and played out. Even back then, years ago,
30:46
Speaker 1: it was played out, so I don't have to get
30:47
Speaker 1: a joke. So man, yeah, I don't know if anyone's
30:50
Speaker 1: still doing those on the radio.
30:51
Speaker 2: I don't know.
30:53
Speaker 1: Let me know if that happens anyway, the some of
30:56
Speaker 1: the gags that took place, and boy, these are real
31:00
Speaker 1: funny April Fool stokes. Julian Edelman announcing he was going
31:04
Speaker 1: to return to the Patriots. That's that's laugh out loud funny.
31:10
Speaker 2: Is right?
31:13
Speaker 1: Come on now, Oh my god, Julian Edelman, he's thirty
31:16
Speaker 1: nine years old. He was washed up when he last
31:18
Speaker 1: played he's gonna come back and play in the NFL.
31:21
Speaker 1: So that story made the rounds. What else did we have?
31:25
Speaker 1: We had the well, we had the the owner of
31:28
Speaker 1: the Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, and he said, we got some
31:34
Speaker 1: new names here, new names. The Cavs owner in the
31:38
Speaker 1: Buckeye State said Cleveland's new WNBA team would channel Michigan
31:43
Speaker 1: basketball the Wolverines, who and the color scheme And that's
31:48
Speaker 1: really really hilarious, the Ohio, Ohio Wolverines.
31:53
Speaker 2: That was a good one.
31:53
Speaker 1: The Cleveland Browns, they're not good at anything. They're not
31:57
Speaker 1: good at April Fools jokes. So they posted a they
32:01
Speaker 1: said they're getting a logo on their helmet. And you know,
32:04
Speaker 1: the Browns have that brank. They have the blank helmet
32:07
Speaker 1: with the stripe down the middle of you know what
32:08
Speaker 1: I'm talking about.
32:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can imagine that.
32:09
Speaker 1: It's just orange helmet with the down the middle of
32:13
Speaker 1: the the white stripe and then the black around and
32:17
Speaker 1: all that stuff. So they said they're going to put
32:19
Speaker 1: a logo on it, and the logo was on the
32:22
Speaker 1: blank helmet, would be a logo of the helmet.
32:27
Speaker 2: That was their That was their April Fools shoke. Very
32:31
Speaker 2: very good. Yeah, I mean have a.
32:33
Speaker 1: Bunch of these other random random things. Nothing as funny
32:39
Speaker 1: as Aaron Rodgers to the Broncos. That Mike Florio does
32:43
Speaker 1: win April Fool's Joke of the twenty twenty six sporting season.
32:47
Speaker 1: So congratulations, congratulations on that. That is just freaking hilarious,
32:53
Speaker 1: is what that is. Absolutely we mentioned the Malard cow. Well,
32:58
Speaker 1: Cowboy Drew, who was behind the Mallard cow, says, well,
33:04
Speaker 1: apparently I was wrong. I thought the Mallard cow had
33:07
Speaker 1: gone to slaughter. Good news, like this is breaking news
33:10
Speaker 1: here we have a Mallod We have the Mallard cow.
33:13
Speaker 1: Update just into the Fox Sports Radio news room.
33:18
Speaker 3: Breaking news from Fox Sports.
33:20
Speaker 1: From the High Speed Sports Wire, Cowboy Drew reports that
33:22
Speaker 1: the Mallard cow is still producing milk. She ain't on
33:26
Speaker 1: the plate yet getting check this out. Eight and a
33:29
Speaker 1: half gallons per day out of the Malard cow.
33:33
Speaker 2: How about that.
33:35
Speaker 1: Don't touch my cow, Mallard, that's my helfer, that's not
33:38
Speaker 1: your half of a time.
33:39
Speaker 2: Listen, if you're a farmer, every farm needs a Mallard cow.
33:44
Speaker 1: Eight and a half gallons of milk the Mallard cow
33:48
Speaker 1: for the.
33:48
Speaker 2: Wind, Move Move, move, move, move daily.
33:51
Speaker 1: Come on, yes per day? Whoa, Oh my god?
33:55
Speaker 2: What is this? Here? Can drink that much? In a blind?
33:59
Speaker 1: Holdiss price? This is remember when they you know he
34:03
Speaker 1: I don't remember, you're too young. But the used to
34:04
Speaker 1: ask presidents like how much a gallon of milk is
34:08
Speaker 1: so they could be relatable to the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
34:11
Speaker 1: Uh you know, I don't. I don't drink milk, so
34:13
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I looked it up though, So
34:16
Speaker 1: the average price of a gallon of milk?
34:20
Speaker 2: What do you what do you think that is five
34:22
Speaker 2: sixty nine?
34:23
Speaker 1: Well, in California it likely is, but nationally in the
34:26
Speaker 1: United States, it's four dollars and five cents. So let's
34:29
Speaker 1: do let's do some malor math here, hold on a
34:31
Speaker 1: sec hold on a sect, Cowboy Drew, you can back
34:35
Speaker 1: me up on this. So, uh, let's see you're four
34:40
Speaker 1: oh five? Yeah, I mean the math here four point
34:44
Speaker 1: oh five. You're listening to live coverage of malor math
34:46
Speaker 1: being done right now on the air.
34:49
Speaker 2: Is that a hold on a sick here?
34:52
Speaker 1: So that cow, if I'm right on this, that cow
34:55
Speaker 1: is making Cowboy Drew over thirty.
34:58
Speaker 2: Dollars a day.
35:00
Speaker 1: O baby, how about that cowboy drill, Come on the mallard.
35:04
Speaker 1: Cow is a money maker.
35:06
Speaker 2: Momo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo
35:09
Speaker 2: moo moo moo moo, moomoom moom.
35:11
Speaker 1: Move yeah exactly, o Cho Texti writes in he says
35:18
Speaker 1: Burger King gets the nod because they still have deep
35:21
Speaker 1: fried apple pot, not the healthier baked crap other fast
35:26
Speaker 1: food joints have opted for swim. O Cho text dos,
35:31
Speaker 1: I learned from the Fifth Hour podcast that I do
35:34
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis, now a solo operation. I've learned
35:38
Speaker 1: that the the reason McDonald's does not have onion rings.
35:41
Speaker 1: Burger King does have onion rings is because McDonald's makes
35:43
Speaker 1: so much money marking up their French fries that they
35:47
Speaker 1: they feel like they would not make as much on
35:50
Speaker 1: the onion rings. So therefore they could have McDonald's onion
35:53
Speaker 1: rings that they just wouldn't make as much money. People
35:55
Speaker 1: would buy those instead of the fries, and so they
35:57
Speaker 1: continue to have the fries and not fudging your round
36:01
Speaker 1: with the the onion ring. I'm team onion ring. I
36:04
Speaker 1: like the I like the young ring. My grandfather may
36:08
Speaker 1: he rest in peace. He loved burger He loved you.
36:11
Speaker 1: As a kid, my grandfather he loved. We wouldn't go
36:15
Speaker 1: out very much because you know, it's expensive even back then,
36:17
Speaker 1: athough it was much cheaper compared now.
36:19
Speaker 2: My grandfather the Burger king and pizza hut there.
36:23
Speaker 1: Just like go to players like come on anyway, all right,
36:26
Speaker 1: it is the Ben Mallor Show. Yeah, yeah, the the
36:31
Speaker 1: barnstorming reports indicating the Dallas Cowboys will play the Baltimore
36:36
Speaker 1: Ravens in Brazil and that game expected to be in
36:40
Speaker 1: Week three of the NFL season, so tickets are available.
36:46
Speaker 2: Now the international slate of games.
36:50
Speaker 1: That game will be played in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil,
36:54
Speaker 1: in lah knock yourself out, enjoy Rio and let me
36:58
Speaker 1: know how that is.
36:59
Speaker 2: And yeah, all.
37:00
Speaker 1: Right, it is the Bane Mahler Show. Time now for
37:04
Speaker 1: the who am I game? That's where I pretend to
37:07
Speaker 1: be somebody else. I am the only pitcher since nineteen
37:11
Speaker 1: hundred who with ten or more strikeouts and no walks
37:15
Speaker 1: in my first two starts of a season. Again, the
37:20
Speaker 1: only pitcher is since the nineteen hundred in the big
37:23
Speaker 1: leagues with ten plus strikeouts and no walks in my
37:26
Speaker 1: first two starts.
37:27
Speaker 2: Of a season. Who am I the answer? We'll get
37:31
Speaker 2: to it and we will do it next.
37:34
Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
37:37
Speaker 3: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific, Bill.
37:40
Speaker 2: Miller and you. It is the Ban Mallor Show.
37:43
Speaker 1: You're listening to it right here. It's broadcast every night.
37:46
Speaker 1: It's live and local. In your ear drums. So as
37:48
Speaker 1: people say, wow, it's a big national show. You're on
37:50
Speaker 1: six hundred something radio station. But no, no, most people
37:57
Speaker 1: who listen to talk radio listen alone. That's surrounded by people.
38:01
Speaker 1: Now we are broadcast, I am told in a number
38:04
Speaker 1: of warehouses and factories where people are forced against their
38:09
Speaker 1: will to hear the audio.
38:12
Speaker 2: Outside of that, though, most people.
38:15
Speaker 1: Driving or stuck in bed by themselves and listening.
38:20
Speaker 2: But we're also on YouTube.
38:21
Speaker 1: You can watch the show, mallard monologues, and other features
38:24
Speaker 1: available on the YouTube channel Ben Mahlor Show. And we're
38:28
Speaker 1: fighting the good fight against a lot of high paid,
38:31
Speaker 1: high faluting gas bags and blowhards that get heavily promoted.
38:36
Speaker 1: We don't, so we need your help on that. Follow
38:40
Speaker 1: the channel on YouTube Ben Mahlor Show.
38:42
Speaker 2: On you too. Back to it all right. Time now
38:47
Speaker 2: for the play of the day. I believe do we
38:50
Speaker 2: have the play.
38:50
Speaker 3: Of the day.
38:50
Speaker 1: Have we figured out the play of the day. This
38:52
Speaker 1: is going to happen in real time. This is very exciting,
38:55
Speaker 1: all right to play the hottest team in all of sports,
38:59
Speaker 1: the San Antonios. They have this player called the Parisian Prodigy,
39:04
Speaker 1: and he did.
39:06
Speaker 2: It again in the bay. Wemby's got it. Wemby goes
39:08
Speaker 2: up off class has got it. Victor Wemmanya, I'm a
39:11
Speaker 2: forty one points.
39:13
Speaker 1: He's the third Spur in franchise history to have back
39:17
Speaker 1: to back games with forty one points, and the first
39:20
Speaker 1: since George Gervin in nineteen eighty four.
39:22
Speaker 2: Don't look now, but the Spurs fifty eight and eighteen.
39:25
Speaker 1: Wemby the forty one eighteen rebound game and three block shots.
39:31
Speaker 1: That is the play of the day, not just any
39:33
Speaker 1: play of the day. Ty Iraq player today. For over
39:35
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39:46
Speaker 2: The way tire buying should be. Here's the who am I? Game?
39:50
Speaker 1: Is where we pretend to be somebody else. Ess We
39:51
Speaker 1: call it the who am I?
39:53
Speaker 2: Game?
39:53
Speaker 1: I'm the only pitcher since nineteen hundred with ten or
39:55
Speaker 1: more strikeouts and no walks in my first two starts
39:59
Speaker 1: of a season.
40:00
Speaker 2: Who am I? That is the question?
40:03
Speaker 1: What is the answer? Lloyd McClendon. That's a good name
40:06
Speaker 1: from berger Man. He had a great meltdown when he's
40:08
Speaker 1: managing the Pirates, The Ultimate pitch Man. Billy mays Here.
40:12
Speaker 1: Billy mays Here from Milkman, Mike in Colorado, Emma Myers
40:16
Speaker 1: of the Netflix show Wednesday. Who is twenty four? From
40:20
Speaker 1: Late Night Drug Tester Mordecai, Three Fingers Brown from Rob
40:25
Speaker 1: the goat Man, Sarah Strong Naysmith, Women's College Player of
40:28
Speaker 1: the Year from Ostro jamp.
40:30
Speaker 2: What's say you have a raid up to me?
40:31
Speaker 1: Luigi Luis, No, it's not Luigi, Unfortunately, it's the Gossman.
40:36
Speaker 2: Kevin Gossman of the Blue Jays.
40:37
Speaker 1: Kevin Gossman of the Toronto Blue Jays,