Latest / Tits, Wit, & Grit / Welcome to Tits, Wit, & Grit: A Podcast for Women Leaders
Transcript
- Sara Frasca: Tits Wit and Grit is a podcast created to hold honest, intelligent conversations with women who lead, build, and navigate demanding professional lives. This podcast was born from a belief that women benefit from spaces where experience is honored, perspective is shared openly, and leadership can be discussed in both depth and candor, and maybe even a little laughter. Each episode brings forth voices that will offer insight drawn from their experience, and we will all speak honestly about leadership, resilience, ambition, and personal evolution. So let's get started. Tits, wit, and grit. That's it for today's episode of Tits, Wit and Grit, where bold women, big ideas, and a little bit of fearless attitude collide. Tracy Laskos: If today's conversation sparked something for you, share it with someone who needs it and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what's coming next. Laura Raether: Remember, show up with confidence, trust your wit, and never underestimate the of grit. See you next time. Sara Frasca: All right, so when you guys, when we were talking about building a podcast and writing a book, what did tits, wit and grit mean to each of you? Laura Raether: It didn't mean anything to me because I think when we first started or it didn't mean very much when we first started it was all using big corporate speak words like bringing the power of women or something like that. For me it was like I just didn't want it to not have some sass and when we agreed on kind of tits wit and grit I was like okay like That's sassy. It's got attitude. It shows momentum. And I found myself just really rallying around it more and more and getting more and more excited. And just excited to bring other women who I know have the sass and the spunk of kind of what we're trying to convey here on Tits, and Grit. So it was great. But it really wasn't until we kind of settled on a name and the attitude that that brand kind of brought to it. Tracy Laskos: I love that Laura, because that's like your heartbeat. Like what you do, everything has a little bit of depth and personality to it that is you. So the fact that it didn't resonate until the latter time is fabulous. I love that. I think for me, it was just an opportunity for women's voices to be heard, witnessed and celebrated so that their stories. didn't just exist within them, they were shared amongst others so that our listeners felt as if they weren't alone in whatever season of life they were in, in their own leadership journey, in their own ⁓ awakening of themselves. Like was just an opportunity for the women to rally together, ⁓ to share their stories, share their voices and be a collective community together. is really what it came down to. Now when the name came around, it definitely had a little bit more personality to it, which I totally can get behind. Sara Frasca: And I was shocked at the reception that I got. And I shared this story with you guys privately, but I'll share it with our audience that, you know, I don't normally say words like tit. It's not in my vocabulary. I grew up in a household where we couldn't say but until I was 18. So it was like a scary moment for me. But when I started to talk about it and to... explain the underbelly of what we were hoping to drive, which is just this confidence, this empowerment, this support of other women, and really this ownership of our unique way. It was all of a sudden, again, just the reflection back, the mirror from other people was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is amazing. And so then I was able to kind of, again, more confidently lean into a word. probably wouldn't have said and now we'll say a million and a half times. So kind of fun. Tracy Laskos: That's great. I think the other piece is we're all moms, but we're also moms of young ladies, right? And so I think starting to pave the way in our own lives and having this ⁓ outward expression to show them that their voices are meant to take up space as well. Like it really felt like a big importance for me. mean, Charlotte's 17, Laura, I know your girls are in their 20s and Sarah, your girls are... in their teens as well, but it just felt like an opportunity to celebrate ⁓ them, the future that they're creating and show them that these are conversations that are meant to be had. Sara Frasca: Yeah. Laura Raether: Yeah, and also it's sad that we still have to have some of the conversations we still have to have. It's been hundreds of years, i.e. we're not getting paid the same rate as men and certain, when you look at job comparisons, doing the exact same task. Like really, we're still talking about that. So, you know, hopefully for our listeners, our young listeners, that will change in your lifetime. Not sure it will change in mine, but hopefully it will change in yours and Sara Frasca: Hmm. Laura Raether: If nothing else, now let that be a challenge to all of you future leaders. Let's not have to talk about it on podcasts in your future anymore. Sara Frasca: Yeah, totally agree, Laura. I mean, I would say, you know, I had the pleasure of growing up with men around me, you know, my dad, my brothers. I feel like I have been in a bubble of ⁓ men who were supportive, men who were, you know, more, and I'm going to use the term feminist because of their drive for equality. ⁓ And certainly I've had some that have not, but I would say you know, coming into the corporate world and then the entrepreneurial world, ⁓ it is a shock to me how much conversation still needs to be had. I actually felt when I moved to Florida and went to the entrepreneurial side that the conversations were even more dire. It was even worse. Whether it was Florida, whether it was the entrepreneurial world, it was better. in the corporate world. And so I just, feel a little bit like ⁓ these conversations are very necessary at a grassroots level to be having dialogue and to actually be calling attention to the things that are maybe inequalities or maybe just simply aren't right yet. ⁓ I had a cute thing that happened the other night. We were watching The Pit, if you guys know that show, and there was a woman on the show that was talking very directly to the Laura Raether: Yep. Sara Frasca: Doctors about how many doctors she had seen and how her female symptoms had never been attended to had never been recognized or even listened to she never felt heard until on the pit in the ER one of the female doctors finally listened and finally, you know found Found the answer and I would say, you know, obviously I know that's you know, Hollywood but There are so many things still that we are grappling with and so I'd love to create a place for people to bring their challenges. Like where are you not being heard? Where are the things that you feel like you're up against the world like David versus Goliath? We want to hear those things. We want to help break through. We want to create conversations so that hopefully we can make change. Laura Raether: Mm-hmm. Tracy Laskos: Yeah, absolutely. And also for them to share their stories where their voices have been heard, right? Where they have been that change maker, you know, in whatever vertical they're in, whether personally or professionally. I think some of our guests are going to be those that come with those type of stories and we get to celebrate them and share the good work that they are doing and being the change makers in the world that we need more of today. Laura Raether: And I think what we don't want this to be is this is not gonna be, sorry, a bitch session about men and how, know, what was us. This is more about let's talk about people's experiences, let's learn from them, and let's see how we can work together to help make change. And again, change, you know, it's... It can happen tomorrow. It can happen two years from now, but at least move forward. And I think that's what, for me, as we have more more guests on. And ⁓ by the way, bring on our first male guest. This isn't just a girls club. We don't want that. ⁓ But we are going to shine the light on women who have had amazing experiences that people can learn from. So that's why. I'm looking forward to as the year kind of rolls along. Sara Frasca: Me too. Okay, so let's talk about ⁓ shit moments. What are some ⁓ shit moments that you've had? Tracy Laskos: Great question. Yeah. Sara Frasca: All right, I'll tell you one that... ⁓ has been eye-opening for me, and I will say that it is actually the opposite in terms of gender discrimination. So my husband is a fourth grade teacher, and I have been shocked beyond belief at how many times he will have a reaction in our community or whatever of like, ⁓ you're a teacher? Or they know that the parent is a teacher and they assume it's me. Or someone will be talking to him and... Realized like so what do you do? And then he says well, I'm a fourth grade teacher and people literally walk away. I mean it is it is Baffling to me. So my my you know, I bring this up because I think that there are still things broken you know in terms of the genders and certainly I you know believe women have to kind of Again, name these things collaborate on fixing them, but I also think ⁓ Again, there's just a lot of you know cultural misconceptions or bias that does kind of create ⁓ problems for both sides. Tracy Laskos: Absolutely. Laura Raether: Yeah, I think, you know, for me, ⁓ shit moments were either been where I've made a mistake. And, you know, as we hear, like, everybody makes mistakes. you know, in sometimes I think in a corporate environment, you can't make mistakes. And sometimes you don't make a mistake, but people think you do make mistakes. ⁓ So I just kind of want our listeners to know, like, Everybody makes mistakes. The best of the best make mistakes. It's what you learn from them. And so part of my ⁓ shit moments have been, all right, how can I learn to do things differently? Or how do I play this game differently? And so for a lot of that, for me, was that sometimes the corporate side are like, ⁓ I'm in an ⁓ shit moment where... I'm either not the smartest person in the room. I don't have the most experience. But how do I play this? How do I make it? How do I continue to stay on plane as everybody else? ⁓ Those would just be some of mine. There's many examples of them. But that's all I kind of consider, ⁓ shit. ⁓ Yeah. And then there's been a few others, more ⁓ shit moments that I probably can't talk about just yet. Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Laura Raether: Maybe that's episode 12. Sara Frasca: Mmm. Tracy Laskos: I think kind of piggybacking off of what you said, Laura, know, growing up in corporate, it was the fear of making the mistake, right? So I remember when I first got a leadership role in an organization and I did have a mistake, I was really focused on making sure that the individuals that I got the opportunity to lead did not have that fear in making mistakes and then sharing it with me. So I remember having the mistake. and then crafting an email that I sent to my team that said, here is what I did, here is what I learned, and here is why I'm sharing it with you, because I want to create a space where you don't fear making a mistake and sharing it with me so that we can have a remedy ⁓ and that you learn from the mistake. And so I think that was probably my, ⁓ shit, I can do this differently. Laura Raether: Yeah. Tracy Laskos: so that they don't experience what I went through. And I remember the feedback was really profound, ⁓ but I think that has to be one of my most memorable ⁓ shit moments. Yeah. Laura Raether: Moon. That's a, that's, that's amazing gift that you gave to those people. Sara Frasca: That's powerful. Yeah. Tracy Laskos: Thank you. Yeah. I'm hopeful you never know what they do with it, but all you can do is, you know, like we said before, be the change and invite them to do likewise so that if and when they're in that, a similar space, they get to lead from that mindset and that heart space. Laura Raether: Yeah. sure. Tracy Laskos: Yeah. Sara Frasca: All right, how about no shit? Moments where you've said, don't care anymore, no shit forgiven. Tracy Laskos: I remember mine when I took the leap of faith and left corporate and joined the entrepreneurial world with you lovelies. I remember turning in my resignation. I remember exactly where I was, what I was doing. And the I am done with this. ⁓ life that I'm living in and the way in which I am existing and not living and know that there is more to ⁓ life than this. And so it was, have no more shits to give. I'm taking back the reins of my life. And ⁓ it was definitely an ⁓ shit, but it was a no shit. Exactly. Laura Raether: No. No, no shit, I'm doing this. I'm out of here. Yeah. I think no shit moments for me have been more like, no shit, that just happened? Like, really? ⁓ And one example of that that I experienced was I had my first two children back to back. In fact, I came back from maternity leave pregnant. Tracy Laskos: Exactly. Laura Raether: Yep, you heard that right. I came back from maternity leave pregnant. And at the time, I went in and told one of my bosses, and he was awesome. He was like, great, we'll hold your position for you again. It great. And I went and I told not a boss of mine, but a colleague. I'm like, well, I'm pregnant again. And he looked at me and he goes, wow, what a racket that is. And my response, I was pretty quick on my feet, or I can be. I said, hold on, Jim. I want to get my tape recorder out. Would you like to say that to my tape recorder? For those of that don't know what a tape recorder is, you can look it up. yeah, I mean, and I was kind of like, no shit, he just said that. Like, no shit, I'm going to come back with something just as good. And it stopped him in his place. But I was like, wow, OK. You know, here we go. Tracy Laskos: Yeah. Laura Raether: And then probably another no shit for me was ⁓ managing people and I would, you know, probably fight to a fault for my people who I felt deserved. And at times I would have to go in and defend my people and just because they might not have the right education or the right school that they went to, even though they had the same amount of years of experience and same amount of accomplishments, they didn't get a certain rating that they deserved. And that for me was like a no shit, like no shit, like they're just as good if not better. But because they don't have that school behind their name, really? Like no shit, we're gonna hold that against them? So that was just kind of like, those are kind of like the bad things of no shit, like, really? But I worked through it. So you know. That's why I'm here. That's the grit coming to life right there. I guess the wit and the grit. And because I was pregnant, the tits too. I did all the full package there. Sara Frasca: Yeah, maybe. Made you who you are. Tracy Laskos: I was just going to say. Sara Frasca: Hahaha Tracy Laskos: You were the full package, Laura! Sara Frasca: That's great. ⁓ I can think of a couple things. ⁓ One, you know, I think I shared with both of you maybe on another episode, but just being a brand new mom with a brand new baby and having to travel for work and having to nurse and did I tell this story last time? Yeah. So in the middle of the airport, you know, not knowing where I was supposed to do the pumping so that I could have the milk for the baby when I got back home, I mean, it was a disaster and Laura Raether: No Sara Frasca: I just remember standing in the middle of the women's bathroom. You know, I had to plug it in, but there was no stall that I could reach. And it was one of those like, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. am literally, I don't give any shits about what anybody else thinks. Yep, here I am doing my thing. And you know, y'all can basically suck it because this is what I have to do to get my job done and my home life done. And so there's kind of a... A powerful moment, I think, when you just are kind of legit don't care what anybody else thinks. Another one that probably ⁓ was, again, negative at the time, but has kind of changed my life was, ⁓ I think, a little bit of being underestimated by a man that was my boss. ⁓ I think you guys, again, know the story. I've shared this. But I felt I was kind of a gritty hard worker, kind of in the background, not wanting to take all the claim or glory or any of those things, but was really publicly almost humiliated or chastised in front of a group of my peers. And I just really had a reaction like, yeah, no, that's a line that you've crossed and I no longer can go backwards. It's like... I think I have a lot of patience and a lot of grace for people because again, you know, to our point earlier, I think people make mistakes and we can't necessarily just, you know, cancel culture, everything. We've got to allow people to apologize and change and, you know, give them the feedback. But in this particular instance, it was not a situation or a relationship I felt was able to be remedied. And I thought, you know what, you've crossed the line with me and I'm not going backwards. Like that, that is. I have built my career, I am very proud of the person I am, and you have demeaned me in a way that is not tolerable, not okay, and if I'm gonna stand in front of my career and help other women, I would be a hypocrite if I continued in this situation. anyway, those are two examples of my no shits to give. All right. Tracy Laskos: Mm. Laura Raether: Mm-hmm. Tracy Laskos: That's great. That's really good. Yeah. Very good. Laura Raether: And just on that to wrap kind of that up, know, we all survived. you know, Tracy's situation was a scary, frightening, leaving corporate, all that. Sarah, your and my examples are a little different, like, we're here. Sara Frasca: Mm-hmm. Laura Raether: Like we can tell the story. And yeah, I mean, there were probably some hard, dark days, but it's like, you made it. So I do think, you know, a thing for us on that grit is just going through some of those crazy times in your life that you will reflect back. ⁓ Someone told me a quote or a... sentence that said in order to get out of it you have to go through it. Tracy Laskos: Yeah. Laura Raether: And I'm like, I think of that, you know, if I'm going through hard times or whatever, like, yep, I'm going to get out of this. I just got to get through it. Head down, get through it. Get that grip. Tracy Laskos: Yep. They say, ⁓ change is messy, but at the end, it's beautiful. So embracing, ⁓ the messiness in the middle and knowing that the other side is worth what it is that you're going through. And I know that we've had that conversation just that, you know, grateful for the journey, grateful for the highs, just as grateful for the lows. ⁓ because the individuals that we are today may not necessarily be the individuals we are. but for the journeys that we walked that led us to today. Laura Raether: And that's part of, you know, what I think this podcast can do for people too, is, you know, some people don't have people they can go to or mentors or leaders or whatever. So, you know. I'm always open to talk to anybody. I'm a high E. I love people for the most part, unless they're jerks, but reach out to us, contact us. We'd be happy to have just conversations with people who are either struggling through maybe things that we've been through, since it's not our day one on this planet. ⁓ that's what I hope for this podcast as well. It gives people like, right. I can reach out to three semi-normal women that have been through some shit that want to help. ⁓ Tracy Laskos: Seminormal? Sara Frasca: Love Tracy Laskos: But I think to your point, Laura, it helps individuals know that they're not alone, right? So like during our ⁓ shit or no shit, who did we talk to about it? Right. So the hope and desire is that our listeners are like, ⁓ shit, I'm not going through this alone. There are others who have journeyed through this, whether exactly the same or similar. It allows them the opportunity to realize that this journey is one that we're here in partnership to, you know. Laura Raether: Right? Tracy Laskos: share with them, walk with them. Reach out to Laura's point. We'd love to hear what your story is and be of what support we can. Laura Raether: Yep, for sure. Sara Frasca: Alright, what about good shit? Laura Raether: ⁓ good shit in my life or good shit professionally or? Yeah, I mean, you know, we don't have enough time on the podcast for good stuff in my life or good shit, but I think some of the good shit is just the relationships like I was never one. It's, you know, work and home life. You got to separate the two. Tracy Laskos: Yes. Sara Frasca: All. Laura Raether: You know, for me, my work family was like my family and I treated them like that. So, you know, I demanded a lot. ⁓ We worked hard, we celebrated hard, but we all had kind of each other's backs and we were radically candor. ⁓ So I think that that's some of the good shit that I value in some of my first colleagues are my closest friends. And I don't use the words friends very often. ⁓ I think the other good shit is amazing experiences that, you know, I'm a small town Minnesota farm kid that I got to experience. And some of that was by the grit that I had to work hard and to, you know, have the setbacks, but also learn from them. But also some of that is just, you know, being in the right places at the right time. And so again, a little bit like the mom and me of just like sometimes in life, the stuff you go through, you will remember of, ⁓ I was put there for that reason. I made that connection with that person who introduced me to that person who I got this job that I love, that I've been at for 10 years. Just never stop. ⁓ never stop being curious about who you can meet or talk to. I guess that's the good shit. But I'm an extrovert and I understand there'll be introverts that listen to this. That'll be like, no way. I get that. That's okay. ⁓ but I do think there are channels for introverts to connect with people now, as opposed to picking up the phone or going to a meeting. There are other ways people do it. So anyway, that's some of my good shit that I take with me for my professional life. Tracy Laskos: Mm-hmm. That's great. uh, some good shit professionally actually was, um, I think really in the coaching space that we have, um, with some of the clients that we work with, I had, and Sarah, think you've heard the story and Laura, you may have as well, but I was getting the opportunity to visit, um, one of our clients on site and they had taken me out to lunch and we were on the way back to the office. for the rest of the day and ⁓ they are ⁓ engaged. And so one was driving, the other one was in the front seat and I was in the back. And so we're driving back and they point down a road and they go, ⁓ yeah, Trace, know, our home's just down there. And I viscerally remember just like leaning forward and going, ⁓ hi home. And it was in that moment that that's the good shit because I was 100 % my authentic self. For so much of my career and my growth trajectory, I was attempting to emulate somebody else. But because I had been surrounded by individuals, teammates, colleagues that created space for permission for me to be truly myself and be accepted for that, I was 100 % me. And for me, that story is in, you know, So every story I get a chance to share, because it's just, that is the good shit that in professional world, I really want to highlight is just you get to authentically be who you are. So when the opportunities that Laura just mentioned, the individuals that are then making the connections know who you are at your core, and it is a fortuitous union of personalities, dynamics, and who knows where it goes from there. But I think for me, that is the good shit is the understanding of who it is that I am having the permission and the grace to show up 100 % authentic in who I am and then demonstrating to others, whether it be personally or professionally, that that is absolutely the way you should. Here's permission, right? Here's permission in this moment. Be you, because it's perfect, just the way you are. Laura Raether: Are you? Sara Frasca: Great. Man, that's a really powerful, like I'm, I have heard that story before, but it gives me goosebumps every time you tell it because what a blessing to finally feel like you're there or at least in the moment there. And then now you're evolving to the next version of you. But I do think we have all kind of put on different chameleon like exteriors to fit in or to, you know, be a certain way because we feel like that's who we're supposed to be. And then when we shed all of that, I mean, it is such a relief. And also, you know, we kind of shine brighter. And I love that story, Tracy. Yeah, I mean, I am a lifetime learner. Like I am really, I love to learn. I love to do different things. And there have been... inputs that I now am able to kind of have as outputs. So I'll give an example, you know, in the Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart, there's an HBO series, there's a book, and I just I love listening to her. I love reading her because I think she just kind of speaks in a way that I can understand. ⁓ And there was this one story she was telling to her daughter about like A real friend will help to cup their hand around your candlelight, right? To make you be able to shine brighter and not secretly trying to blow it out in the background because they're jealous or they don't want you to shine or outshine them or whatever. And so that becomes something that I can retell to a client who again, maybe in a... business situation where they have someone that's battling them and they have someone that they feel like is a candle blower outer. And so now I can say, gosh, here's a piece of input that I used to learn about me. I wonder if this will help you so that you can get a little bit tougher of like, no, don't blow out my candle. Or again, it's just one story, one little tidbit. But I think there are so many wonderful people out there. doing great work and bringing forth pieces that we can then pass along and interpret it and build it for them in that moment so that we can help them learn something about themselves, their business, their colleagues, whatever it is. ⁓ So I feel a little bit like an interpreter of like taking all these things, interpreting it and applying it. And I love that. I think that's really fun.