Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Wholehearted Summer: Learning in Community a Panel Style Conversation with Collective Coaches

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Wholehearted Summer: Learning in Community a Panel Style Conversation with Collective Coaches · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I've often heard a phrase that goes something like, it's lonely at the top.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I often think of it as a phrase that's being said to leaders, a room full of leaders, or senior pastors, or even business owners.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: But today I would like to extend this phrase or this feeling to my fellow mamas.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, motherhood is a role that can often feel lonely, especially if you're juggling being a mom, a full career, and looking to be intentional with your faith.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: And friend, you're not alone.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have worked with women in various stages of these roles with so many wonderful opportunities, but also a lot of responsibilities.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: And being a coach to these multi-passionate women, I've heard some of the same questions and helped them through similar struggles again and again.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: So today I thought it would be fun to capture some of the answers to the questions that I often hear and share it with you in hopes that as you've maybe encountered the struggle or wondered how you do this and juggling all the things, that you don't feel so alone, but you also feel strengthened and encouraged to take to take the next possible step for you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I've asked a few of the collective coaches, Deanna, Janae, and Sarah, to help me answer some of these common questions.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: We take turns asking one another, especially for those of us who are, well, we're all still learning, right?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: We knew that some of our friends here in this group probably had an answer to a question that we really wanted to hear the answer to.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: So in this fun-paced conversation, you'll hear from every single coach here, Deanna, Janae, and Sarah.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you've met them before.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna hear both their questions and you're gonna hear some incredible wisdom along the way.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we're learning with you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: So we're covering everything from faith to discipline and conflict, having healthy communication, work-life balance, all of the things.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we do cover a lot here, and it was hard for some of us because we probably could talk at least 30 minutes on one topic each if we were given the chance.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought it would be fun to use this opportunity as well to ask you, the listener, our friend in the community, what it is that you wanted to know more about.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you heard a question and you're like, ooh, I either want to know more or I would have asked this specific detail to follow up with that question.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: We want to hear those from you, whether we answer them in real time through email or in our DMs on Instagram, or maybe we create a whole podcast series and a resource about that topic.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: It is so important that you, the valuable part of this community and our friend, to know what it is that you want to hear.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: So as you listen, take notes, or as you're walking around, just remember the different ideas that have sprung to mind of things that you're like, oh, this was so great.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I would love to know more of.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, I've hope you enjoyed this mini-series and this episode is going to be the final wrap-up of this summer series as we step back and we prepare so much amazing good content coming to you early fall here.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: But in the meantime, if you've liked this sort of information and you want to know more about motherhood and your Enneagram type, well, I have created a beautiful Enneagram guide for mothers that has so much information about your unique personality type, the unique struggles that you have, and gives you some practical steps and applications to put into action so you can better thrive in your role.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I have heard that I should be charging for this resource, but for now, it's free.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Just click the link in the show notes and you can get your guide sent directly to your inbox.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna jump in right into this conversation with Deanna, Janay, and Sarah.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, friends, thank you for joining me today as I cover these questions.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: One of the big thoughts here as we dive into these different, I don't know, just common struggles, common questions, common places that a lot of us women feel stuck, what came to my mind was really one of the motivations that I had years ago of discipleship was gathering women together and just being able to sit around and share the common pain points, be honest about them, maybe get advice from one another.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I know I've shared this little story before, but really when I was doing women's ministry and I was leading a mom small group.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I was leading that small group by default.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was basically there wasn't anything else out there.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had plans for doing other things.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was actually working on bigger ministry picture.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was asked, you know, there's nothing for moms.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Would you be willing to do it?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew it would require being in my home and providing snacks and the toys and figuring out babysitting.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I had been in a position through my early years of motherhood that felt really lonely.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I did, I said yes simply because I remember what it was like.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: And as we continued to talk through all sorts of things, and I just tried to be led by the Lord of what we were going to talk about, the overarching need and desire was not only mentorship, but beneath the desire for mentorship was loneliness and motherlessness, where a lot of these young moms were entering in motherhood or in those early years, feeling like they didn't have mothering, whether in the past or currently.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that was maybe for some of them because there was an emotional absence, maybe there was spiritual absence or a literal physical absence, that they're they lost their mom at a young age or recently.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that there's just this a pervasive ache that is out there, whether you're in the church or not, that when you are in this motherhood season, you can feel very lonely.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: And what I want to do is one, normalize that and then also invite people into a space where they can feel not so alone.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I, that's why I love being able to share a collective of voices because I don't have all the ideas.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't lived all the experiences, and we're all at different stages in our motherhood.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just excited about what I'm gonna learn today and what's gonna be captured here to help the next person.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that my friends listening will also go, oh, I bet my friend was talking about this and she was struggling here.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I bet she would be able to benefit from this conversation.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope that our friends continue to share it to others.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, just wanted to give that as a thank you for being part of this conversation and adding your voice to I don't know, bring comfort and comradeship in this process.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to dive in.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: So Amy, I would love to jump in and ask the first question.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: This is please.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this is Janae here, and I would love to ask the first question to Sarah.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_03: Sarah, I know we all know that spiritual information is really important to you.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I go to you with questions about it.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: I just feel like you know so much, and I love that about you, and it's really important to you personally.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: And so, regarding balancing faith, family, and work, I would love to know how you personally invite your children and your family into that rhythm of spiritual formation and just practical tips for integrating it into your daily routines.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think it's spiritual formation is not something that is just for adults, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: Our kids are curious and asking questions.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I love talking about the practical ways in which we can integrate faith from a young age.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd love to just give an overview of a typical day or the chronological sequence of the day and bring in just a couple tidbits.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're listening and you have good tips to this, you know, we would love to hear them.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: As Amy said, this is a space for a lot of voices so that we can share and just encourage one another.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: But in our family, our kids are going to learn from what is naturally overflowing out of us.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so instead of here are the five tips that you need to teach your kids, the best thing you can be doing is being spiritually formed yourself, is pursuing the Lord on your own.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: And what naturally overflows from that is the beauty that will stick to our kids and in our kids' hearts and minds.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, first thing in the day is the breakfast time.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's awake and at the table.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have learned for me, I have to start my day spending time with the Lord first, and then I can just bring in what was in my morning quiet space with the Lord, bring that to a breakfast conversation.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't have to be complicated, it can just be sharing a verse or a concept that you would like the kids to think about throughout the day and to just kind of be on all of our minds throughout the day.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then there might be others that can relate to this, but I know that in the morning getting ready for school, that can be a point of tension and stress.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: You're on a time schedule, and you know, the kids don't always put their shoes on the first time that you ask them to.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, an anchor point is no matter how that morning time went, when we are parting ways for school.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: So for us, when we're sitting at the bus stop, that is a huge moment for us to regather and pray before we're departing.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: If it's been a nice smooth morning, then that time for us is usually, you know, simply, what are you excited for today?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: What are you nervous for today?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: Are there any things that specific things that we need to bring before the Lord as we consider our daily bread for today?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: What does that look like for you?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: And obviously these things can shift dependent on ages of your kids.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: But if the morning has been a stressful morning, this can be an opportunity to reset and to send your kids off with love and care before the day.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, our middle child, she is six years old and she has the gift of prayer.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: She is a prayer warrior.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: She prays with belief and fervency.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so if I am particularly stressed and overwhelmed and irritated, I will actually ask her, Charlotte, would you please pray for us before we go our separate ways?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: And she steps into that, she loves that.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: And it honestly is more for me because it gives me a space to breathe and gather myself.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then following that prayer is often when I need to apologize for something.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: But it gives us that chance to reconnect before we go out on our day.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's a huge anchoring point for us.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then as we go throughout the day, whether it's when they come home from school or if it's a summertime and we're hanging out, I I think the more that we can bring God's presence, bring awareness to God's presence.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: So we call those Godwink moments, right?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Where we can see, God just did that.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: Guys, do you remember we talked about that this morning?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's what we that was the verse we talked about at breakfast, whatever it may be, to bring that awareness to the kids and share that with them.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: That makes God not such a foreign concept to them, but someone who is real and really cares about them and loves them.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so those moments have been huge for us, those God wink moments.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: And then it's incorporating worship music or verses throughout the day wherever we can can really help allow the word of God to stick in their minds and to be true for them.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: Another anchor point is dinner where we're asking questions about the day.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: We even have started using a feelings chart, and that can be really helpful, especially if mom and dad are involved.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so imagine how powerful it is for the kids to hear that daddy actually was nervous today when he had to speak up in a meeting.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: It's another anchoring point to get to talk about, you know, how God is moving in our day.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then lastly, is my favorite, and that is bedtime, because I think that is the most tender space as a family.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: So we currently are using the Lectio for Families app.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: It parallels with the Lectio 365 app, which I know Amy loves as well, but it's the family version, and that is beginning the practice in our kids of reading a portion of scripture more than one time and asking what stuck out for you in that?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: What was there a word that shimmered for you?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: Was there something that resonated with you?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: And beginning that practice with them at a young age teaches the Bible is not just something we read for knowledge, but we want to connect with it with our whole bodies.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: And that tender bedtime space is the time to connect with their hearts and their souls and say, what was hard for you today?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what was there anything disappointing today?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: And get to meet them in that pain and that hurt.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so ultimately, overall, we've got to be doing our own intentional journey with the Lord first, and that will overflow to our kids.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then secondly, is just making God's presence very tangible and clear for them as they journey on their own walks with the Lord.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so, Amy, I would love to hear your perspective on this as well because you are a couple stages beyond me, both in parenting and in their career front.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so, how would you say that you prioritize faith while also balancing family and work?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah, your outline of what the entirety of the day could look like was so good.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that for our friends listening, it's going, what's maybe just one thing?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, don't hear all of this.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're starting at the beginning, try to implement all of this.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Choose one thing that stuck out to you and is doable for you based on your rhythm, your capacity, how your family dynamic works.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: But let me tell you, even if you did one of those things, oh my goodness, the fruit that people are going to experience, because Sarah, those are fabulous and they are all doable.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: You have young kids.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're doing it.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: I've heard about these epic the time routines.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know how you posture your heart.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, what I hear for you is that you just seize teachable moments.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And those teachable moments, man, they come all day long.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not talking about giving a sermon.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you said, oh, wow, look at the beauty that we're seeing here that reflects God's goodness and kindness or, you know, having an argument.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: How can we be kind to one another in order to bring about harmony and unity?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: That was so good.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, I want to go back to what you first said, and that was prioritizing your soul care.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: And we've talked about this, we'll talk about it again, but this is where how do I prioritize all of these things and put them in the right priority?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that is making my morning office or coffee with Jesus or quiet time, whatever you want to name it, a consistent rhythm.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, it's a lifeline.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: If I don't have that connection with the Lord, then I will quickly be in the burnout, stressed out, not pleasant to be around category.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, now, again, like you said, I have kids who are older, right?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: So those teachable moments look different.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: How we have our rhythms, those look different.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: That also means I have availability to have a little bit more time to meet in the early mornings.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can actually wake up early and get stretches of time being alone.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's awesome.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's wonderful.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I really couldn't do this.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I had three kids in three and a half years.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember a shift happening once my youngest finally was sleeping through the night and he would still wake up at between 5:30 and 6:30.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I was finally able to start catching my breath and carving out a little bit of extra time in the morning.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so ultimately for me, and I've talked about in this podcast in a podcast episode before about what that routine looks like.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'll link to it.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: I won't go into details, but for me, I got a tattoo for my wedding band essentially in case I want to leave my wedding ring at home.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: And when my husband and I were talking about what we were gonna get, because we both got something, I really wanted a cross.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And he was a little annoyed because he's like, why don't you want my initial?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, something like that.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I because he's don't you are you embarrassed of me?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Are you not gonna be married to me?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: I said the reason why you want a cross is that it's because of him, because of what Christ's work did, what his work was on the cross, and because of his the love that he has for me and the love I have for him, that I can love everybody else and I can prioritize you and then the kids and then the ministry and relationships.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so I always think of that when I look at my finger because it's like the cross between us that holds us together and it's that relationship first that helps me put everything else in line.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So ultimately every day looks different, but it's a priority.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And when I make that happen, the day doesn't go perfect, but other things fall in line.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: So as we're talking about faith, and also we're talking about building strong family relationships.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of hinted at, I need Jesus ultimately to have those good relationships.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: But Deanna, I would love to hear some of your tips and wisdom because you have launched kids, you now have grandkids.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: What advice would you give us about effective communication to either use with your spouse or your kids, whether we're talking about summertime or just in general?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Amy.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: That was really good.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I agree with the order of Jesus first, and then the rest of it will fall into place.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's a reason why he said, seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I think with being mom of adult children, maybe I should talk about what I did wrong first, because there's a few of those.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I was just thinking as I was pondering what worked and what doesn't.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, like looking in hindsight, we know that's 2020, and we look back and we go, ah, I wish I would have done that differently.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: But yelling and trying to reason with a child that is tantruming is not a good use of time.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I did that, I often say now I've wasted many words, much breath and time trying to do these things and reasoning.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And there just is no reasoning.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: When we get angry, our reason just flies out the window, and it does that with kids too.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we don't expect that, maybe.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I have apologized often actually as a mom of adult children to them in the places that I miss their hearts, and not because of condemnation, but just conviction that I'm just really sorry that I and just showing them that I'm human, that I'm perfectly imperfect, and so are they, and that we mill we will miss those places.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: I recently have had an adult child of mine call me out on being passive aggressive, and I would it's stung, that stung, but I brought it to the Lord and I was in it was actually one of the best things for my heart and for healing.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think talking about communication and being able to actually be authentic in communication, I didn't see until the darkness in my heart was pointed out that this is something that I was actually doing.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so instead of trying to hint or manipulate or not be authentic in communication, this actually put me on a pathway to have better communication with my adult children, and then ultimately we'll be able to with my grandchildren and just have a different expectation.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: I do, anyways, I think with grandchildren, but but that kind of is that.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I think what else I could say is just getting on their level, like literally when they're little, getting on their level, their eye level, just meeting them right there with their hearts, giving them full attention at any age when it's a conflict, especially, and just being able to meet them, just recognizing what speaks best to them.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just leaving them lay, having a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store and walking away, like that.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let literally, and everyone can look at you and judge you and think you're the worst mother in the world when actually they've probably done the same thing.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I think those are, and I will get into it a little bit more.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think just about different communication styles and conflict and stuff like that.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'll talk more about that.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I think just honest, honestly, just being human.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to make mistakes as a mother.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to have to apologize for the things that we do and not have an expectation of our children's.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: To be these perfect little beings that aren't exactly like us.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: They'll be different, I tell you.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have three adult children and they are so different, all of their personalities, and came from mostly the same my DNA, anyways.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just encourage you to just listen.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Really, listen is the best language that we can do with our children, with our spouses, with our family.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's probably the best communication advice I would give.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the older I get, the better I learn to listen.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I hope that translates into my children and grandchildren now.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I was thinking about Janae.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to ask you.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen you talk about your family and how there's just a sweet unity between you and your husband and your daughter.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so, could you tell us how do you foster a sense of unity and teamwork within your family?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would love to talk about that.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_03: And so when I'm thinking about this question, I first want to say that it makes me smile because of where John, my husband is John, and where we are now, but we were not always in this place of unity.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: It was actually a lot of like competition until I had a mentor of mine tell me, you guys, you know that when you marry, like you're one, like you are one with one another.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: God has literally made you one.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so I say that because just as a reminder that when he wins, you win.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: And when your daughter wins, when your son wins, when your children win, you also win.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so just something to keep in mind.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_03: Whenever I was a full-time stay-at-home mom before God gave me the dream of beginning this decision to and to work with women, I was a stay-at-home mom.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure there are some moms listening that are also in the trenches with us, right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: And my husband would climb up the ladder in career or get another degree.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm just over here feeling uh jealousy and this competitive spirit.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I felt convicted for that.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I thank God for that conviction because you know what, where there's unity, God does command a blessing.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so when he is blessed, I'm blessed.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_03: And so I wanted to just start off by saying that really quick.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to talk about a few things that I feel like helps to foster that sense of unity and teamwork in our family.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: And what the first one, and I didn't know.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: I love that you, Deanna, was are talking you were talking about communication because that's the first thing that I would say is really important is that open communication.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: And so I won't go into a lot of it because Deanna did a perfect job at just the importance.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like I I love Deanna, how you talked about how everybody in your family can freely express without manipulation or you can freely freely express what you're feeling without the gaslighting.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I didn't always have that as a child.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: I not that I was physically punished, but there was definitely a sense of if I say this, it's gonna hurt my mom and she's gonna shut down and not talk to me for a while, or you just things like that.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: And so I would say to have safe communication.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: My daughter knows that she can come and express her thoughts and feelings and concerns, and so does my husband.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: And not that we can't say, I need to walk away for a minute, because sometimes, as humans, like Deanna said, we are humans, and that's okay to say, I need to walk away for a minute, but coming back to the conversation and giving them the respect to, you know, say what they need to say.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: And so important, you will find so much unity whenever.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, all four of us here love the Enneagram.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: So we love that we every single one of us know our spouse's number, right?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: And so what that does, just alone for knowing where they're coming from, causes so much defense to just honestly wash away and you can just see them from where they're coming from a lot, a lot easier.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to say that praying together is also going to foster unity and teamwork throughout your home.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_03: And Sarah touched on this a little bit, but just your children seeing they need to physically see that we don't play church.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: We're not just at church on Sundays, and then you come home and mom and dad are completely different than I just saw them on Sunday mornings, but no, we pray together.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_03: It is a part of, like I love Sarah, how you said it's a you make it the spirit a tangible thing throughout your day.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: And we praying together as a family, even with your children, just causes them to see and experience him in a real in a really real way.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what we so want in our family is to experience God.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: We want to be so sure of God's goodness that nothing in this world, as crazy as this world can get, nothing is going to steer us off the path.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: No, there is nothing that can deceive me in this world because I'm I've experienced God and his goodness.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: And so praying together is just so important to foster that.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: And then quality time is one that I would really love to mention.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, we set aside time as husband and wife for date nights, and we've had, and I'm sure everybody listening will relate to this, but you go through seasons where you don't do as good of a job at that, and you see what you can feel it in your marriage.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_03: You can feel whenever you kind of let life take over and get you let things that aren't as important just become important, just frankly.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: And we I've totally been there, and it just it feels yucky and you feel the separation and the space.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_03: And especially if quality time is is a big on your love language bucket list or bucket list on your just on your list of love language, and it is high on mine.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but just setting aside that time and then for intentional time within inside of your home for your family as well, where there is no iPads, there's no phones, but it's just you and your family have an intentional time to just grow closer together and just talk about life, dreams, goals, like what asking your children, like, how are you doing?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: What are your dreams?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_03: And just conversations that honestly, I feel like families today have a they can find that they can go weeks without having some of those deep conversations sometimes because we live in such a fast-paced world.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_03: And then lastly, really just having empathy, grace, and forgiveness for one another in that in your family, just making a decision that you are going to have empathy for one another.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: My husband is gonna have bad days, I'm gonna have bad days, our children are gonna have bad days because we're human.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: And we will not hold that against one another.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: I will not.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_03: I had a pastor once say that when you go to bed angry at one another, you are basically, what did he say exactly?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: You're allowing because you didn't forgive before you went to bed, you're basically allowing the enemy to come in and just have a heyday with those thoughts.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so uh making this the decision that you're gonna go to bed, maybe not, you know, in love that night, right?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: But you are gonna say, I choose to forgive and show grace.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so those doing those four things can I can almost guarantee that you will see a sense of unity and teamwork come about within your family.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, Jenny.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: I think forgiveness is a great piece.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: We can never forgive enough and to choose it, even if we don't feel it sometimes to take that step toward it.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's a process for sure.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like you would be great at dreaming with your family.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Being a type seven, you guys and your dreams.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was just wondering, Amy, I wanted to ask you, and we know what your schedule is like from working with you for the last few months.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so we were just wondering if you have any strategies for creating quality bonding time amidst all of the busyness that you have and experience.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Deanna, you know, I do love talking about this because it is honestly the word intentionality birthed this whole idea of simply wholehearted.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: And Sarah has gotten to try it out.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Janae has gotten to try it out, and Janae and I even did a fun Instagram live about it.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: But that is my rhythm of the wholehearted summer, where it's a simply summer rhythm that is all about merging that idea of still moving forward on your goals as a mom while creating intentional times of connection with your kids, because all of these things, all these things that we're talking about, it creates intentionality or it requires intentionality.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have to create the margin and the time and the bandwidth to be able to walk these things outright.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: Even the idea of a morning rhythm, you have to be intentional with either setting your alarm or I asked the Lord to wake me up because I don't like to wake up to an alarm.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so he's been faithful to do that because he wants to spend time with me.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine that.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: So all of that to say is I won't go into all of that here because I do love talking about it and I talk about the whole time, but that wholehearted summer rhythm birthed an intentionality that spanned the entirety of the year and was to know that every day I have to block in times where I am cognizant of or either literally write it down, these are the blocks for work, and then these are the blocks for family.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: As a seven, I don't want anyone to pigeonhole me or wrote me in or limit me on my time.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if I create the blocks of time, then I can decide what fits in those times.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: And that has given me the freedom and then the luxury to pivot if needed.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: But it's even going for me where I'm I purposely I'm only going to work these sets of times during the summer.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what this looks like.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: And they might be weird hours to other people, but they're the hours that work for me.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then I do the same when it comes to the school year.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: And my kids have unique break systems within their school year calendar.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I, and those weeks look different from the other normal school weeks.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just really intentional of knowing what works for my family.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: And those has those have changed as the kids have gotten older.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: The requirements have sometimes gone up because of more sports or activities or being the chauffeur.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: But then sometimes they've gone where I've had more time to work on work, or I've sometimes switched over where I have more time to be with my family and to be all there.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: So this is where it takes thoughtful planning, like everything else here that we're talking about today, is being mindful ahead of time of what your availability is and just owning it instead of weaning it or just think it's gonna just somehow naturally fall into place, is to go, okay, what is it?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: How can I first take care of my soul?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then what does it look like to give that time of connection and those fun things?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Planning those in or planning the times for them can invite you to make sure the connection is happening, whether it's with your spouse in a date or with your kids in a walk around the block or playing games, just so that way you can where you are, you can be all there.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: So as we're talking through these ideas of priorities and the strategies of connection, it's hard because sometimes they conflict with one another.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Also saying conflicting, also talk about conflict itself and discipline itself.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: And Deanna, you've been so good to already even be like, hey, I can tell you what didn't work.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: We all, I think we all have those, no matter what stages we are in our motherhood.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: We have learned at some point, like, okay, this advice or this idea that I had or this normal way of coping, it doesn't work.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: But for you, what is it, what has it looked like for you to engage, either handle conflict with your kids or utilize discipline and training in a way that does align with your faith and maybe even what you've learned as you've grown in your faith and grown in your parenting.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I hope I've done that so far.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: We've actually learned as a couple.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to start as a couple, and I know this doesn't hit everyone that not everyone will have a spouse or be in that position, but I just wanted to put a plug in for this because we learned through love and respect by Emerson Agricks.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna plug him here, but that we put our marriage on solid ground by that teaching, actually, that God calls us to respect our husbands and to our husbands to love their wives, which is actually opposite to what we naturally would do as people.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so just having that foundation of communication to start strong is where we were able to discipline.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm married for the second time.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: So with my second husband, this was there was just ground rules where we are like we're our marriage comes first.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: And or actually our kids might have destroyed us, honestly.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: There it was like a you know, pick out the week and divide and conquer kind of thing because the girls were teenagers when we married.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think a lot of it was just being aligned together, and even as a single parent, which I also was, just being in alignment with what the Lord wanted me to do, how he wanted me to discipline and it and mostly it was with mercy and grace.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like we give out mercy with little spoonfuls sometimes.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the Lord shovels it on us, like he shovels it.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think just being willing to be merciful and graceful with our children in those times of conflict, and allowing them, even as they get older, if I could speak to that when they're older, and making that transition from just being from parenting them all the time and managing what they're doing to actually coming alongside of them and listening to their hearts and seeing where they're at and being able to really meet them there.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's a big transition.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: But even in the little years, you know, when you think about when they're just having those tantrums, when you're allowing them to have tantrums, when you step back and just see that it's not.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of times what we do personally as a parent is take it personally.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is against us.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: What they're doing is against us.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: When a lot of times it's just um they need to express their emotions too.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of time we don't give space for that to happen.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we also believed strongly in the love languages, and you can actually do that with your children quite early, figure out what those are and see what works when conflicts are rising up or they're happening more and more often.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just kind of sit back and go, Well, oh, I know that quality time is their love language.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Have I been spending enough time with them?
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's one thing I was really intentional with my children was doing one-on-one dates with them and uh taking them out, letting them have that special time where they could just be with me and it wouldn't have to be navigated around the family, and you could have those honest times together.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think too that the Lord shows us the best way through the fruits of the spirit.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: So how are we displaying love?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: How are we displaying joy and peace and patience and goodness and kindness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control?
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: How are we doing that?
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: How are we getting filled up with the Lord in those areas so that we can display that to our children?
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that seems like this just a covering over and I can't think of specific examples, but just it's like a covering for where we're at and just being able to step into those places because we have received the love of the Lord.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so hopefully, I guess you guys are getting the idea that we love the Lord, first of all, all four of us, and that stepping into the places with Him and Holy Spirit will guide you.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is he wants to tell you the way.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: He says, when you seek him with all your heart, he will.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: We will find him and he will tell us great and unsearchable things we do not know.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that is that includes parenting.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: So as we do that and talk about prioritizing our time with the Lord, I wanted to ask you, Sarah, how do you prioritize your self-care and maintain your own well-being while caring for your family?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of trial and error.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: So as a two, self-care is hard.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I'm there are a lot of times I have gone out to try to take care of myself and have a break, but I've returned feeling just as five minutes back at the house.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just as frustrated as I was before.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: I it's almost a speedy return to the exhaustion point.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: And a lot of that trial and error has been a journey for the Lord to reveal to me what is really caring for myself and my soul versus just escaping the moment, ignoring the moment, avoiding the stress.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_02: And that's a big, that's a big differentiator.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so the first step towards that is becoming in tune with your own soul.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_02: What does your soul really long for and really need?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because believe it or not, for each of us, that looks a little different.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, we all need Jesus, we all need him to be the replenishment and refueler of our soul, but we have to find what is the thing my soul is clinging to for fulfillment that I'm trying to do on my own.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: So, for example, for a two, if that is love and acceptance, where might I be trying to fulfill that in my own strength by serving my kids well or looking for my husband's or friends' approval?
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_02: For others, it might be you're seeking order and responsibility.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm doing that in my own strength by creating well-behaved kids in a managed household, in a tidy home.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so, our first step towards soul care is to become in tune with our soul, to invite the Lord to show us what we are actually striving for, and then He gets to be the replenishment of that.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: He gets to show us here are the ways for your soul, I can fill you up and I can be everything that you need.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so I want to leave it at that as a little teaser because we did record an episode all about soul care and what that might look like for the different types.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so rewind back a couple podcast episodes to find that.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then also as a teaser, looking forward to this fall, I will be leading a cohort on finding rest, finding soul rest with the Lord and what that might look like.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that's gonna be a few-week cohort, and I'm really excited about that.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: So stay tuned if you're interested on that.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: But so far, for me, I've only survived the baby and father years here.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm still just beginning.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: And Deanna, you have seen and experienced a lot more than I have.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so I know that I join in with others in desiring to glean more wisdom from you.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Deanna, please speak again.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_02: We want to hear what does it look like for you or what has it looked like to navigate through all the different seasons of motherhood from babies to toddlers to teens and now adult adult children.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_02: How have you stayed connected to your faith through all of that?
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I would agree with you about trial and error.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's good.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, I want to assure you to normalize this that if you have doubt, you actually have faith.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I've heard a sermon recently, he said, if you're gonna wrestle, do it with God.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: So be honest about where you're at with motherhood.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: Tell you that do your doubt in community, do it with other people, do it, even the doubting about where you're at in motherhood.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just do it in community.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: I have done raising my children both ways.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've had great people in my life, but I've had a real faith community around us raising our last child, our son.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it just creates such great opportunities for healing, for living, for learning, like gleaning from one another as people, it there's nothing greater than that.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: God gives us these people to do it.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: So this morning I was listening, her name was Nika Maples, and she told this story about she talks about the disappointment gap, and she talks about what's the difference between expectation and reality.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: So when we um acknowledge that perhaps sometimes we miss it with motherhood, sometimes it's just not what we expected it to be at all.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not a bad thing.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I think just to be able to acknowledge it, um, not dismiss it, not make it minimal, not do all of that, but to actually just sit with it and go, yeah, this has been, this has been really tough.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's probably one of the best things.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was thinking about transitioning, uh, Doing the transitions from children to where you're managing them to where you're parenting them more to going into adulthood and just being able to have conversations and not expect yourself to have all the answers, to just hear what they have to say, to be present with them, to let them pour out their opinions and what that looks like.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I think probably keeping it connected with faith, sometimes it's like singing Jesus loves you when you're nursing a baby.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just teaching your toddler about God's world and what that looks like and the beauty in it.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to take my kids, I still do, I think.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I take my husband out when there's a rainbow or when the sun's setting, like, come and look at the sky, look at what God did tonight, and just all of those kind of things.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: It may be a late conversation at night when you are so exhausted with your teen that is ready to open up, who hasn't been, and they haven't been talking all day or even for longer than that, and all of a sudden it just comes pouring out of them.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: And at that moment, you engage with the Lord and say, Please help me stay awake, Lord, and please help me stay present to this because I know it's important.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I think probably just even just walking with your family.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's it is really what Amy said about intention, it's about surrender, it's about humility, and just really that you don't always get it right and trust in the God who put you in this family, that He will get it right for them, for each one.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: You've been given these children to give them wings to not hold them down, and they aren't yours, they were his first, and we just continue to just keep giving them over to the Lord, and that's how I think that's how I have separated that.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: How I've just like, okay, God, they're your kids.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I did that, okay, God, they're your kids.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: And can you take this one?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do right now, and that's okay too.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: So just let yourself feel the emotions.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself, you know, sometimes folding up that last onesie.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: I still have a onesie and my daughter, they both my daughters wore the same outfit home from the hospital.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I still have it.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes folding those up when you're done that stage and you in the children's lives brings tears, and that's okay.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I think probably releasing them, giving them wings, teaching them it is true what the Lord said to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it looks like they do.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: I have had children who wandered away from the Lord and are still looking.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so you just have to stay steady and keep praying.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_00: Pray, pray, pray.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: That would be my best advice besides listening today.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_00: So in that, can you, Janae?
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now that I've talked about community a little bit, can you help us to how do you build a support network and find like-minded moms who share your faith values?
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what does that look like to build community for you?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would love to talk about that.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: And real quick, Amy, Deanna was telling us to feel a whole lot of stuff in that last little segment right then.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_03: Lots of feeling going on for us today.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the seven over here is like, well, we're feeling a lot, and baby Wednesdays pulling out, and I oh that what?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: So good, so good, Deanna.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I am so excited to answer that question, Deanna.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_03: I love community, big hype around community.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: God created us for community, and I get the opportunity in my town to lead a mom's group.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_03: And so I have been able to see firsthand moms coming together and building community right before my eyes and really push through because for some moms it's super easy to go to all the moms groups, but for some, it is not that easy to put yourself out there.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's an honor to lead that group.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I want to say something that I've seen time and time again with the moms in my community regarding guilding community, and that is that they have been hurt time and time again by women.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_03: We all have, I think, can relate to that.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so they don't want to put themselves out there again.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_03: I've specifically heard them say, Janae, I want to, but I also don't.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to say really quick that I feel like the Lord has told me is that you both are hard.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: You can either sit at home in isolation and that's hard, or you can put yourself out there and that's hard too.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_03: But God has made us for community, and so He will bless that.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_03: Keep putting yourself out there.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_03: And if you get rejected, then it's more on that person than it is you, Mama.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_03: So just keep pursuing the relationships.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_03: And great places to build that community is going to be finding a mom's group if you have one.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, I'll say that.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: And whether it's, you know, Googling, searching for mom's group, I'm sure you can find one around you.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_03: My my town has like three stoplights, and we have one.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then, of course, I think a great place to find our community is our home church.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_03: Find a good home church.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's an obvious answer.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_03: And then also other churches.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm really close to a lot of the women from other churches in my community by going to their women, like I love a women's conference, like a whole church hop to women's conferences.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I've met so many women doing that.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_03: And then I to nurture those relationships, those guys, though, guys, don't just stop there.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_03: Get that mom's number and then go on play dates, or even leave the kids at home with that and go on just a mom day.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_03: But you will see those relationships thrive as God has intended them to.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_03: And so that is going to be my advice with that.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_03: And Amy, I would love to know anything else that you just want to add?
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: What comes to my mind as you share this is geography.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I have come to find out after 14 years of being in a place geographically that I never imagined and most of the time didn't want, that God has a plan for where he places you.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: And he is so intentional.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is not a mistake where you are, whether it's in a town with three stop lights or the metropolis, major metropolis that we all know, or a farm in Iowa.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_01: He has strategically placed you.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it's about being intentional then with the geography and the surroundings and the opportunities for community.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: To your point, Janae, it is so hard.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: It is not easy.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I have story after story of moments where God invited me out of my comfort zone and he met me there, where it's meeting someone at Chick-fil-A and becoming best friends and still friends 10, almost 11 years later, or having a small group because of a meet cute at Chick-fil-A as well.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm serious, God used Chick-fil-A a couple of times in my life.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or, like you said, church hopping and checking out other women's conferences or Googling or paying attention to what's going on in the community and getting out of the sweats or out of our yoga pants and putting on some jeans and showing up at a place that I maybe didn't know anyone, but just making myself available.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: It is so easy to say.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's totally different to do, but this is where I believe the Lord will honor that effort and surprise you and give you the strength to do that and give you the creativity and the ideas to meet you in that place.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where ultimately what I hope to even achieve and give preview to by having the four of us share these different ideas.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_01: This represents the power of community because I don't have all the answers.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: No one has all the answers.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have all the life experience yet that people need to draw from.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why we're invited to be a part of a multicultural, multi, very diverse, different age spans and generations.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: We're invited to come together and learn and draw from one another, whether it's to be reminded of where we've come from or be inspired of where we wanted to go.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: And the Lord can use your geography and then he can also use this beautiful gift of online podcast, online community.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: This is why Wholehearted was birthed, was to create a gathering place.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe your local area cannot meet all the needs that you have, that whether it's for mentorship or friendship or motherhood advice.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that that we've captured here the intent and the heart of Simply Wholehearted and the opportunities to connect within community that we're going to continue to be able to provide and offer, whether it's through the different voices of the podcast or other different things that who knows what God is going to do and what he's up to here.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: And just ultimately ask the Lord, ask the Lord for creativity and ideas and who he wants to put in your life to be able to foster that sense where you can link arms and feel that you're in this together with someone and that you're not alone.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, friends, for showing up here, for adding your voice to the conversation and sharing your wisdom.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: It is so, so good.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the last thing I'd want to say is if I know all of you just barely scratch the surface.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like I gave you questions that you could talk about for 30 minutes.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I would love if our friends heard something that they're like, tell me more, would you let us know?
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe we'll do a podcast series or even one episode about that topic or create a resource around it where you can hear more from these amazing women and these questions.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, friend, that's a wrap for this wholehearted summer series.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that you have enjoyed every episode.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if you missed one, be sure and take this mini break that we're going to be doing over the next several weeks as an opportunity to go back and listen to any episode that you may have missed.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you're new to the podcast and you see that there's over 300 episodes to choose from, have no fear because I have got a podcast playlist designed specifically for you.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, it's arranged for each Enneagram type.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_01: So whether you want to learn more about your type or another type that you are getting to know, then all you need to do is head over to the show notes where you can get a playlist right at your fingertips and catch up on your listening as you head out on that road trip this summer or maybe out to the pool or to the neighborhood playground if it's not too hot in your neck of the woods.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: All right, friend, like I said, we're gonna take a little bit of a break here, but we are coming back in August with so many amazing episodes and series headed your way to help you thrive in faith and family and in the work that you do.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, friend, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.