Latest / Legacy Stories / Nurturing the Gift - Mary Bomar Honors Her Mother, Joan Bomar

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Nurturing the Gift - Mary Bomar Honors Her Mother, Joan Bomar · Legacy Stories

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  Coming up on legacy stories. I mean, she felt music.
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  She gave me that too, just really feeling it in her heart.
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  And she loved listening to music all kinds.
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  She she thought Jim Morrison of The Doors had one of the most
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  amazing voices she ever heard. Welcome to Legacy Stories.
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  I'm Steve Young. Each week I sit down with a
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  guest who shares the story of someone special in their family
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  and the legacy they carry forward.
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  My guest today is Mary Beaumar. Mary and I have known each other
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  for nearly 40 years, and over that time, I've had the
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  privilege of watching her career as an extraordinary
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  singer-songwriter and storyteller.
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  Together with her husband, Bob Ritter, she makes up the folk
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  duo Beaumar and Ritter. And as a fun bit of history, I'm
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  actually the guy who introduced them years ago.
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  I'm excited to have this opportunity to visit and have
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  her share her legacy story. Well, live from a farmhouse in
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  southern Indiana, it's Mary Beaumar.
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  Mary, welcome to Legacy Stories. Wonderful to be here Steven.
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  Great just to see you looking so good.
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  Oh, thanks. It's been a, it's been a minute,
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  as they say. Before we get going on who you
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  want to honor today, I was wondering if you would tell our
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  listeners a little bit about yourself.
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  Oh well, not, not a whole lot to tell.
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  It's been an interesting life so far.
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  Been pretty, pretty calm for the last number of years.
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  But you know, just going out, playing music whenever possible
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  and taking care of the cats out here and just living the Country
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  Life. Telling a little bit about where
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  you're from, how you grew up. I was born in Alta Vista,
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  Virginia, which is South of Lynchburg, VA, and then when I
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  was 8 months old we moved to Sis, Mont Virginia, which is
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  just east of Shadwell, Thomas Jefferson's home.
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  It was a great place to grow up, wonderful neighborhood, lots of
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  big farms all around, and my dad ran the local gas station.
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  My grandfather, my mother's dad, was the postmaster.
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  I had a wonderful childhood. I wouldn't trade it for
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  anything. That's wonderful.
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  Well, tell me, who are you honoring today?
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  I wanted to honor my mom, Joan Corinne Phelps Bomar.
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  Dad I could talk about for years, but mom was a bit more
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  private, and yet she shared herself so freely with everyone.
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  She was a loving, generous person, but she was very strong
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  and very stubborn, and she was a force to be dealt with when
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  something didn't go like she thought it ought to.
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  Tell us about Joan's childhood, what you know of it.
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  Well, she grew up in Greensboro, NC, and I know that she went to
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  work as a teenager for her dad after they had moved to Alta
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  Vista, Virginia. She worked in the hardware store
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  that he ran and she went to high school there and apparently
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  there was this young man in an old Ford that used to follow her
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  around and honk his ooga horn at her.
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  Her dad wasn't real happy about that.
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  No. And I don't know how many years
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  after that she ran off and eloped.
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  And Granddaddy wasn't too happy about Blue Bomar.
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  He was a wild. He was a wild man.
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  Do you get the impression that maybe Joan was personality wise
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  like her dad? Absolutely.
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  You know, sometimes that stubborn streak can kind of pass
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  through generations. Yeah, because her mom was the
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  sweetest thing. And mom, I'm sure she had a
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  little of grandmother in her, but she got a lot of her dad.
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  Yeah, yeah. Well, why don't we Fast forward
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  to your memories of your mom when you were a little kid
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  growing up. What impressions come to you
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  when you you think about growing up about your Mama?
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  I am the baby of three. Mom and dad eloped when she was
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  17 and so by the time she was 21 she had three children, 3 girls.
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  Daddy didn't even come to the hospital when I was born because
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  he wanted a boy beat last in the order.
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  She played with us. She was always involved with us.
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  She was one of those moms that stayed home and raised us.
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  She did not go back to work until we were just pretty much
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  gone away from the house. She was always there to lean
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  over your shoulder when you're doing homework and you try to
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  say, I don't understand this and she's sort of like too loud in
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  your ear, but she's trying so hard to help.
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  Our house was the place where all the neighborhood kids wanted
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  to come. Mom would feed them, she would
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  love them. She would let them talk to her.
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  We grew up in a pretty affluent area and we were kind of the
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  lower to medium income kind of family.
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  Dad ran the gas station and we lived in the house with Mom's
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  parents until I was in the third grade and then we moved across
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  the street from them and Mom just was always keeping an eye
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  out on everything that was going on.
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  She was a good Mama. Do you feel that your mom had
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  that wonderful capacity, particularly with the children
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  in the neighborhood, to kind of meet them where they are?
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  Oh, absolutely. She get right down on the floor
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  with them and become a little child herself.
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  And I have that. She handed that down to me.
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  When I am with children, I'm right down on the floor with
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  them and it reminds me of how my mom, she's ready to play.
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  She's ready to let him climb on her back and she'll ride around
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  like a pony or whatever, you know?
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  But I think Mom had a special place in her heart for me
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  because of the music. Let's talk about that a little
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  bit. Yeah, yeah.
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  She she would play piano at the house and I would sing with her.
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  And then when I was a teenager, they gave me a guitar for
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  Christmas and I pretty much taught myself how to play.
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  But mom was always there, encouraging.
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  She always wanted to hear what I was doing and the best advice
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  that I've ever gotten in my life about singing, Mom said sing so
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  that everyone can understand every word you're saying and
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  hold your notes out at the end of the line.
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  Don't chop them off. That was one problem she had
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  with music these days is people want to really cut everything
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  short and she wanted to hear those long sustained notes.
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  And you think the advice has served you well?
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  Absolutely. Because I can't tell you how
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  many people come up and and say, wow, I can hear all your words
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  or you have a beautiful voice and you know, mom, mom worked
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  with me. She wasn't stage mom, but she
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  was always encouraging, always ready to build up, to lift up.
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  Would you say when you were growing up, and particularly
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  when you entered your teen years, that in addition to being
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  supportive, you had a sense that your mother would love to see
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  you do music? Oh, I know she wanted me to,
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  absolutely. Without a doubt.
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  If I had chosen to be a nurse, which she would have liked to
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  have been, but decided to get married instead and have
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  children, I think she would have been happy with whatever I chose
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  to do. But I think that mom lived
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  vicariously through me through the music because of the music,
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  because I think she really wanted to be a musician.
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  And so I was her kind of her vehicle driving, and it was
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  great. I mean, I couldn't ask for more.
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  That's so neat. You know, I think that's a
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  familiar refrain among people. And sometimes they they feel
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  like they're fulfilling the dreams of their parents.
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  And in some way I would love to hear, because you're such a
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  descriptive writer, would you describe for us some of the
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  sights and sounds and smells of your childhood when you think of
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  your mom? And what makes your mom come to
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  mind from the senses? Well, when she held you, if you
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  weren't feeling well or something, she was always there.
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  Stroking the side of my head above my ear with her fingers
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  was just a very soothing thing and I and I have found myself do
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  that to others at times. So I picked that up from her.
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  She could be really gentle and soft, but she could also get
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  right to the point. And sometimes it was like, OK,
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  OK, OK. Her kitchen when she was
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  cooking, it smelled good. And years ago when we were
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  young, she made a lot of fried chicken.
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  Sunday was fried chicken day, but she had one dish that I
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  would say all the family and all the neighbors, whoever tried it
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  knew about, and that was her roast beef with vegetables.
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  Oh man, but. It was put in a pan in tinfoil,
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  the Rose, put in the vegetables, put in a package of French onion
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  seasoning, soup seasoning, sprinkled all over top of it.
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  Wrap it up really, really tight, cook it for two hours, cut the
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  oven off and leave it and it would melt in your mouth.
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  And so that was just awesome. I wish I could go back in time
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  and sit down at table when she when she was serving that.
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  Yeah, yeah. The neighbors just, they looked
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  forward to that. And she also sang beautifully.
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  And she took piano lessons when she was young, but she didn't
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  get into really major training or technique.
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  But she had an ear and a way of playing so beautifully and so
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  sensitively. And she always listened to who
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  was singing and was able to accompany them.
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  I mean, she felt music. And that's what I she gave me
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  that too, just really feeling it in her heart.
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  And she loved listening to music all kinds.
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  She she thought Jim Morrison of The Doors had one of the most
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  amazing voices she ever heard. Yeah, what I love about you
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  describing your mom, particularly knowing the
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  musician that you are, is you're just reminding all of us that we
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  stand on the shoulders of those who came before us.
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  Absolutely. What would you say were the
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  values that your mom, Joan held the most dear?
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  Well, her faith was really strong.
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  There wasn't lots and lots of Bible reading and open prayer
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  and things at my house. We we did say a blessing at
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  dinner. But I know that her faith in a
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  higher being was very strong and being kind to others.
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  I can't tell you how many people, she probably bought a
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  load of wood and had it dumped at their house and they had no
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  idea where it came from. Or she would fix a meal for
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  somebody in the neighborhood that was needing some help.
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  So she was very loving, very giving and very supportive.
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  That's so wonderful. Do you have a particular memory
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  with your mom that you'd like to share?
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  The trips we took together were amazing.
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  We left Sismont, Virginia, and drove all the way to the San
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  Francisco. Wow, California.
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  Yeah, we had a blast. We went through Indiana and
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  Illinois and out that direction. So I was passing through Indiana
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  before I ever realized I would live here someday.
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  We got to Colorado in those mountains and we stayed a night
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  in the Vail. We stopped when we wanted to.
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  We met a real cowboy. We drove across a mountain in
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  the dark and at the bottom of the mountain there's the police
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  down there saying there's a fugitive that's on the loose and
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  you all should probably find a place to stay.
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  So. Y'all had a road trip adventure?
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  It was a road trip adventure and after we got to San Francisco,
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  we spent about a week tooling around the sights and I'll
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  never, ever, ever forget that trip.
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  That is just one of the most wonderful mom and daughter
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  experiences of my life. I would, I would wish that for
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  every mom and daughter, you know, it's just so special.
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  Well, this has been special for me to get to know your mom
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  better. I had the privilege of meeting
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  her and being around her some, but I didn't know all these
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  things and it just makes her real to me.
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  So I want to wrap, if I may, by asking, if you had one more day
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  to spend with your mom, what would you do?
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  Probably sitting outside in a really beautiful, quiet place
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  and just sitting and playing music for her.
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  I think that would delight her to the Max.
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  That is so awesome. If you could say anything to
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  your mom now, what would you tell her?
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  Thank you for all that you gave me, all that you did for me and
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  I love you. At which I told her often.
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  We never never said goodbye on an angry note.
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  It was always I love you and you, you did a great job of
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  raising us and being a mom and just you're beautiful.
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  Thank you, Mary, this has been special.
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  Well, for me too, Steve, thank you.
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  Take care. Thanks for listening To see
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  photos as well as get Joan Bomar's roast beef recipe, log
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  on to Legacy Stories dot US. And now, as a special bonus,
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  here is Mary, along with her husband Bob, singing one of her
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  songs, A Mother's Love. A mother's love is like the
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  rising sun, and when it goes down there, a mother's love is
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  like a rainbow's pot of gold that's finally found a mother.
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  Mother's love is gentle, but when we're weak, she's very
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  strong. A mother's love is a heavenly.
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  Soul. A mother's love.
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  The very closest thing we get on earth to God's love.
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  A mother's love, unconditional, forgiving, and eternal.
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  A mother. Mother's love comes to the heart
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  and holds it in a sweet embrace. When we see a mother's love,
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  we've seen God's face, a mother's love.
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  Our mother's love. Our mother's love.