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Best Of The Ben Maller Show · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
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  Speaker 1: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Pacific.
• 0:05
  Speaker 3: From Lambo Leap to Lambo Uh-Oh, welcome in the beginning
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  Speaker 3: of another night of the Ben Maller Show. We are
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  Speaker 3: in the air everywhere. Just keeps happening night after night
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: after night after night as we chisel away under the
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  Speaker 3: cover of darkness here and listen to history in the making.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Audio history being sent out to the cosmos, coast to coast,
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  Speaker 3: border to border, and beyond on the vast end. cartoonishly
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: powerful microphones of FSR emanating live from the wound as
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  Speaker 3: we pour salt in the wound. If you are a
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  Speaker 3: stockholder of a certain football franchise, guaranteed human from the
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  Speaker 3: world-famous Fox Sports Radio Studios, which are approved by Rod,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: the ambassador of Bakersfield, the Green Bay Gobbler, I think
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Noah and Austin, they all agree, and they've formed a
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: pack with the holy trinity of gasbaggery, the Supreme Court
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: justices of the Malheur Militia, Alf the Alien O'Piner, Ferg Dog,
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: and Malheur Prop Guy, that this hour is made possible
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  Speaker 3: in part by our friends at Webull. Time to get
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  Speaker 3: your financial portfolio game ready with Webull. Get powerful investing tools.
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  Speaker 3: downloading the Webull app today or visiting Webull.com. Webull Financial, LLC,
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• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Webull.com slash disclosures as we begin our lead this hour
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  Speaker 3: from the not-so-frozen tundra. Lambeau Field. The Natives were restless.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: Those nice Wisconsin people, not very nice. There's a playground
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: situation there at Lambeau. The Packers hosting the Falcons in
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  Speaker 3: the lid lifter of the Week 3 card. NFL regular
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: season Week 3. You had Al Michaels, Herbie, and I
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: didn't see him on TV, but I think that annoying
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: dog Peter was there somewhere as well. I tuned out
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: a lot of the pregame stuff, so that's usually where
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: they show the dog. I'm wandering around.
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  Speaker 2: So, did you watch? Were you checking this out?
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  Speaker 3: No? I don't have Amazon Prime. I couldn't watch the game. Well,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: don't worry. We watched, so you would not have to.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: It's our good mitzvah of the day. And, oh, what
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  Speaker 3: a day it was. The woe be gone. Atlanta Falcons
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  Speaker 3: waking up from hibernation as Bajon Robinson. 194 yards on
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  Speaker 3: the ground. I did not play in the NFL. I
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: am told that is good. He had two touchdowns. I'm
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  Speaker 3: also hearing from those that have great knowledge that apparently
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: is good. And the Falcons taking advantage of having a
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: quarterback that didn't ride the vomit comet, Michael Penix Jr.
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  Speaker 3: taking over, and the Dirty Birds vaporized the punchless Packers
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  Speaker 3: 35-14 Atlanta. At the beginning of all that was a
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  Speaker 3: 7.5 point road dog. It went down to 4.5 on
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  Speaker 3: DraftKings and they end up winning the game by over
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  Speaker 3: 20 points on Thursday Night Football. Atlanta gets their first win.
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  Speaker 3: They're 1-2. They fell behind 7-0 early on. It looked
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  Speaker 3: like this was going to be a debacle. The other
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  Speaker 3: way in the first part of the game is Michael
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  Speaker 3: Pennax Jr.
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  Speaker 2: Started 1-5 passing and There were balls sailing all over
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  Speaker 2: the place.
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  Speaker 3: But after that, the Falcons settled in there, and they
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  Speaker 3: had smooth flying, 27 straight points as they took complete control,
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  Speaker 3: and the Packers were serenaded with boo, boo at Lambeau Field.
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  Speaker 3: The Falcons outrushed the Packers. This is so great. 242.
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  Speaker 3: To 17. That is so bad. That is so freaking bad.
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  Speaker 3: 17 rushing yards. That is so terrible.
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  Speaker 2: My God. They suck the Packers.
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  Speaker 3: What is going on?
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  Speaker 2: 17 rushing yards.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm going to attempt to do some Malheur math
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  Speaker 3: on the fly here. So one team had 242 rushing yards.
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  Speaker 3: And the other team had 17. All right, so the math,
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  Speaker 3: and again, this is Malheur math, so it might not
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  Speaker 3: be completely accurate. I believe that is 93%, 92.9% more
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  Speaker 3: rushing yards or fewer rushing yards if you're looking at
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  Speaker 3: Green Bay than than Atlanta.
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  Speaker 2: So, oh, you're being mean, Maller.
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  Speaker 3: I know. I should be nice. I should celebrate the
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  Speaker 3: futility of the Green Bay football team. Now, the better
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  Speaker 3: story is in the losing locker room, and the Vultures
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  Speaker 3: are out circling around. The head coach in northern Wisconsin,
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  Speaker 3: the Packers, had won 13 straight home openers, and that
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  Speaker 3: is all over. They Did share the NFL record with
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  Speaker 3: the Miami Dolphins, the Don Shula Dolphins back in the day,
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  Speaker 3: who had won 13 in a row. Yeah, believe it
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  Speaker 3: or not, kids, there was a time before you were alive,
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  Speaker 3: the Miami Dolphins actually tried to win football games. Yes,
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  Speaker 3: not anymore. So we mentioned the booze out and a
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  Speaker 3: lot of booing, and the fans not happy there. Oh,
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  Speaker 3: they don't boo in Wisconsin. They boo everywhere. The great
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  Speaker 3: equalizer is social media, so everyone boos. It's all boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Now, postgame,
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  Speaker 3: Matt LeFleur, the head coach, was in the line of fire. Now,
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know what sound bites we have. I'm just
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  Speaker 3: going to say we have some, so I guess we'll
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  Speaker 3: just kind of figure this out and listen together. I
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: have no idea what we're about to hear, but here's
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  Speaker 3: apparently Matt LeFleur commenting on what happened for the backers.
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  Speaker 3: Take a listen.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, they had 500 yards of offense. We had
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  Speaker 4: whatever it was. It was a butt-whooping, so I'm not
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  Speaker 4: going to put it on one thing. Did you say boat?
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  Speaker 4: We definitely have to respond better, but that was at
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  Speaker 4: least three-quarters butt-whooping right there.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, he said butt there. Didn't it sound like he
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  Speaker 3: said boat?
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  Speaker 5: It did a little bit.
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  Speaker 2: Let's hear it.
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  Speaker 3: Let me see.
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  Speaker 2: I want to hear this again.
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  Speaker 3: Did he say boat? But he said butt at the end,
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  Speaker 3: but it sounded like the first time he said it, boat-whipping.
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  Speaker 3: Let's hear this. I mean, they had 500 yards of offense.
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  Speaker 4: We had whatever it was. It was a boat whooping,
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  Speaker 4: so I'm not going.
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  Speaker 1: To put it on one.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, I think you said butt.
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  Speaker 5: I heard boat that time.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, did you? Because I heard, the first time I
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  Speaker 3: heard boat, and then that time I kind of focused.
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  Speaker 3: I guess I was not focused. That's a bad job
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  Speaker 3: by me. All right, so there's LeFleur. Do we have
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  Speaker 3: any other Matt LeFleur here?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, we got, you know, they're just all bad.
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  Speaker 4: No, I don't want to put all the blame on
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  Speaker 4: the offensive line. I mean, there's plenty of blame.
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  Speaker 3: To go around.
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  Speaker 5: We've got to catch the ball better.
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  Speaker 4: Certainly there's some throws that I think J-Love would love
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  Speaker 4: to have back, and just like there's some play calls
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  Speaker 4: I would love to have back. Most notably that we're
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  Speaker 4: still in the game, and we drive down to start
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  Speaker 4: the second half. We have a fourth and one, and
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  Speaker 4: it's gloved. So there's enough blame to go around to everybody.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, so that is the standard talking points memo, and
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  Speaker 3: I did see some of this Matt LaFleur comment, Refusing
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  Speaker 3: to point the finger of shame and blame at a
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  Speaker 3: specific player, he fell often on that crutch saying, without
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: watching the tape, got to watch the tape, which is
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  Speaker 3: the go-to excuse, the alibi. I can't. Your Honor, I
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: can't answer that question. I have to go watch the tape. Well,
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: why can't you? I've got to watch the tape. I
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: want to watch the tape. Let me watch the tape, please.
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  Speaker 3: Can I watch the tape? I would like to watch
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  Speaker 3: the tape. All right, so that is a good jumping-off point.
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  Speaker 3: Let us discuss the question. And let's get right to it.
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  Speaker 3: Is Green Bay coach Matt LeFleur on the hot seat?
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  Speaker 3: So I've got Boombox, Waffle House, and Cover Band. And
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  Speaker 3: we will combine all of these things together, and we
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  Speaker 3: are going to melt butter. We're going to melt butter
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  Speaker 3: is what we're going to do. So, A, to answer
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  Speaker 3: the question, is Green Bay coach Matt LaFleur on the
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  Speaker 3: hot seat? I am nodding my head yes. I am
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  Speaker 3: nodding my head yes. His tushy cheeks are starting to
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  Speaker 3: warm up a little bit. The Packers, if my math
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  Speaker 3: is correct here, have lost seven of their last eight games. They...
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely choked in a playoff game against the Chicago Bears,
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  Speaker 3: their supposed rival, which is embarrassing. And we're watching all
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  Speaker 3: of the hallmarks of a bad coaching job, chronically unprepared,
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  Speaker 3: penalties up the wazoo, mistakes here, there, and everywhere, lousy
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  Speaker 3: situational football on third down, rinse and repeat. Now, the
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  Speaker 3: only saving grace for Matt LaFleur is the fact that
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  Speaker 3: Green Bay Packers aren't like any other team in the
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  Speaker 3: industrial complex of sports. They're not owned by an individual.
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  Speaker 3: And they're really not owned by the people either because
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  Speaker 3: you have stock in the Packers, but you have no
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  Speaker 3: say in whether or not they fire Matt LaFleur. I
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  Speaker 3: could right now give out the phone number and have
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  Speaker 3: a board full of Green Bay Packers owners. They're listening
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  Speaker 3: to me right now. I'm reaching the Green Bay Packer ownership. Unfortunately,
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  Speaker 3: that stock that you got does not allow you to
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  Speaker 3: decide the fate of the coaching staff or anyone else.
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  Speaker 3: Green Bay right now is in a sinkhole. And hallelujah
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  Speaker 3: for LeFleur that the Jets sucked more at the end
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  Speaker 3: of that game last week. And that Aaron Glenn pulled
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  Speaker 3: his magic out of his tuchus to give the game
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  Speaker 3: to Green Bay there in overtime. The fact that you
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  Speaker 3: had to go to overtime was embarrassing against the Jets.
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  Speaker 3: But in hindsight, not so much because you're about where
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  Speaker 3: the Jets are. The Green Bay Packers and the Jets
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  Speaker 3: are about the same. And now you played Atlanta. And
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  Speaker 3: my God. And even with this, which is rather obvious
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  Speaker 3: to anyone who's got a brain that the Packers stink
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  Speaker 3: right now, the Matt LeFleur defenders are out in force.
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  Speaker 3: In fact, they've got more excuses than the Packers had
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  Speaker 3: rushing yards. Help! Yeah, no, it's true. The Packers have
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  Speaker 3: become an excuse warehouse. They work around the clock. They're
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: operating three shifts, three shifts. And the excuses are.
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  Speaker 2: Well, Micah Parsons is out.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: He's out. You got some linemen, offensive linemen that are
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: dinged up. Josh Jacobs is on the commissioner's naughty list.
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  Speaker 3: He's on the exempt list. So in rebuttal to the
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: many excuses that are being tossed out to try to cope,
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: it's a little copium for the Packer apologist, I would
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  Speaker 3: like to turn up the boombox. It's a classic tune
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: from Frank Sinatra, who crooned. That's life, and that's life
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: in the NFL. If your entire operation collapses because a
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  Speaker 3: couple of star players are out, it wasn't much of
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  Speaker 3: an operation. It just wasn't.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: It was all a fraud.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: It was all an illusion. Apparently, Matt LeFleur's system requires
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: perfect health, favorable weather, and mercury in retrograde. If those
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: things happen, we're good. Like, you're not paid to win
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: with a perfect roster. That's not how it works. You're
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: paid to drive around speed bumps and potholes and circumnavigate.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: The word adversity comes to mind. Everybody's healthy in Madden
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: and on PlayStation, so you should stick to that. In
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  Speaker 3: the NFL, you actually have to coach guys up. Believe
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: it or not, there are ways to win. You can
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: have a halfway decent running game with backup linemen. If
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  Speaker 3: you coach them up, is anyone doing that for the
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  Speaker 3: Green Bay Packers? It doesn't seem that way. It doesn't
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  Speaker 3: look like that. And if your backup offensive linemen are
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: no good, then go find some. Go contact the Edmonton Elks,
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: who should still be called the Eskimos, or the Winnipeg
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Blue Bombers, or the BC Lions, or the Toronto Argonauts.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: Go through the entire Canadian football league. Just go through
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: them all. The Alouettes. Anybody want to play offensive line
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  Speaker 3: for the Green Bay Packers? Now, keeping the cheesy talk going,
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  Speaker 3: page two. So the question here, what has this stretch
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: of football shown us about Packers quarterback Jordan Love, who
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: did not play well in this game? Some of you
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: who are stat effers will.
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  Speaker 2: Say, we had 300 yards.
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  Speaker 3: 8,000 pass attempts to get to 300 yards. Yeah. Anyway, Love,
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  Speaker 3: here's what he has done. What has this stretch of
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  Speaker 3: football shown us? Love was promoted. He was billboarded as
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Atlas in Greek mythology, that he would put the team
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  Speaker 3: on his back, and when things got tough, he would
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  Speaker 3: be okay. In reality, right now, Jordan Love is not
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: putting anything on his back. He's carrying a lunch tray,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: not the franchise. He's a Waffle House quarterback. Now, what
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: does that mean, a Waffle House quarterback? He's a ham
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: and egger, scattered, smothered, and covered. That's Jordan Love, who
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  Speaker 3: has enough talent. Y'all tell me this. He has enough
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: talent to make you believe that he's the guy. He
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: got paid a decent contract, and he's got enough inconsistency
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: for you to get a Lemon Law lawyer on the phone. Say, hey, listen,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I got a lemon. You won't get a lemon. We
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: got a lemon. We got a lemon. So great quarterbacks.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: This take is going to blow you away. Nobody else
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: has this take. I'm the only one with this take.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: It's my original take. Great quarterbacks elevate compromised teams. Nobody
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: else has ever said that on talk radio. Love too
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: often blends in with the comatose part of the team.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: And you know who needs perfect circumstances? As a quarterback, average,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: average quarterbacks. Love, again, is supposed to be the rising
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: tide that lifts all boats. Instead, everyone's standing around looking
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: down saying, why is there water around my ankles?
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Why am I in ankle-deep water?
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: What is going on with that? And when the going
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: gets tough, Jordan Love goes into the basement and he
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: takes a cat nap in the fetal position, sucking his
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: thumb is what he does.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: All right, so elevate your teammates.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: At some point, All that potential has to stop being
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: a noun, and it has to become a verb. Do
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: better and be better. And you know how I feel
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: about the word potential. It's a weasel word. All right,
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: last word for us to the Atlanta side of things.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Was anyone else shocked that there were that many Falcon
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: fans in Green Bay? I didn't even know there were
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: that many Falcon fans in the United States. Man, I
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: was surprised. So after the 0-2 start, the Dirty Birds
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: are in the win column thanks to some tremendous play
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: by Beran Robinson and Drake London.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Who brought the razzle-dazzle.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: And yet everyone is focused on the quarterback play.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: So it must be asked, and we will do the asking.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: The question, has.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Michael Penix Jr.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Saved the 2026 Falcons season?
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: So I've actually contacted the general contractor, and I've let
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: them know, do not build the Michael Penix Jr.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Statue yet. Yeah, don't do that.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: This game was more about Green Bay volunteering to be
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: defensive crash test dummies. The naked truth is Michael Penix
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: did not perform CPR on the team. He just stopped
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Cooper Rush from pulling the plug. Cooper Rush was in
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: the cockpit and not only on the vomit comet, it
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: was a kamikaze mission with him at quarterback. Now, regardless
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: of that, while I'm not ready to put a statue
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: out for Michael Penix Jr., I am Benny Brightside, and
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: this goes with my hypothesis. We handicapped the game. We
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: had Atlanta. I thought the game would be much closer
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: than this. I'm shocked how pathetic the Packers are that
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: they really gave up on this game. You don't get
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: outscored 27 points in a row if you're doing things
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: to try to win the game. So that's on all
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: of them. My God. But the hypothesis was that you
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: just needed someone with a pulse. Cooper Rush was a
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: headliner at a concert. It was the Puka Palooza with
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Cooper Rush, and he was the lead performer. And then
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Michael Penix came in, and he was just a cover band,
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: just a cover band, and suddenly everyone's dancing. No one
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: was dancing when Cooper Rush was there. They had dysentery.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: The Falcons simply upgraded from quarterback malpractice with Cooper Rush
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: to quarterback competence, but not quarterback greatness. And Atlanta does
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: not need Josh Allen 2.0. They just need competent quarterback
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: play surrounded by some really expensive and shiny toys. That's
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: what they need. And what Michael Penix does is change
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: the geometry of the Atlanta offense and suddenly change You
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: can get the ball to Drake London, Kyle Pitts, and
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Bajon Robinson, and they occupy the space. Defenses actually respect that.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Nobody respected anything with Cooper Rush. So, again, Michael Penix Jr.,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: think of it like this. He's the average-looking girl. hanging
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: around some very homely ladies, very homely ladies. Suddenly, everybody
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: thinks the average-looking girl is Miss America because of that.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: And so we have seen Penix have some terrible games.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: I'm not all in yet, and he has an injury
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: history which reminds you of Kawhi Leonard or Anthony Davis
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: from basketball. so the falcons he's not picasso the falcons
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: don't need picasso they don't need picasso just give pedex
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: a box of crayons and tell them don't color outside
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: the lines and everything else will take care of it
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: and so that's where we are on the falcons and
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: looking forward here and saying well what's going to happen
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: down the line is this the beginning of something the
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: falcons we're going to see a lot of them. We're
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: going to do a lot of hot Falcon talk on
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: these airwaves because we talk about those island games. And
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: there's a couple more island games upcoming. The Saints and Falcons,
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: that'll be the next game for Atlanta. And then they
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: play at home versus the Ravens. So that's what's up
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: ahead for the Atlanta Falcons the next couple of weeks.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: We'll take your phone calls if you'd like to be part.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: We open up the phone lines. We do have Benny
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: versus the Penny in Hour 2. So if you want
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: to get in, I do recommend calling this hour or
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: you're going to just have to wait until Hour 3
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: or Hour 4 because we will have Benny versus the
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: Penny coming up in Hour 2, which means no phone calls.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: 877-99 on Fox.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: That's 877-99.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: 996-6369. Also on X, at Ben Maller. That is at
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: Ben Maller if you'd like to be part of the
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: live radio program. And in addition to all that, straight ahead,
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: performative cheerleading. Performative cheerleading. We all know of people that
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: play to the cameras. We had a great example of that.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: In the sporting world, it was hilarious. Hilarious. We'll put
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: the spotlight on that. We'll get to it. And we
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: will do it next.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of Two Pros and
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: a Cup of Joe with Brady Quinn, LeVar Arrington, and
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Jonas Knox weekdays at 6 a.m. Eastern, 3 a.m. Pacific
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
• 21:50
  Speaker 7: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 7: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
• 21:56
  Speaker 7: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
• 21:59
  Speaker 7: get anywhere else.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: on how football really works.
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: them then they want to hire them and then you
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: you have to replace.
• 22:24
  Speaker 5: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
• 22:31
  Speaker 7: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
• 22:34
  Speaker 7: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
• 22:38
  Speaker 7: own the team. I never owned a team.
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: No beer for you. Not even fake beer. You're going
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: to your room.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: You can't have a fake beer.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: What's wrong with you? You punk.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: You loser.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: You dingleberry.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: Maller Show. An hour unlike any other. That's right. We
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: are in the air everywhere. In the air. As we
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: talk continuously, embarking on a wild audio journey, coast to coast,
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: border to border, and beyond, on the vast and zestfully
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: powerful microphones of FSR emanating live. Do it live! From
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: the edge, the mathematical house edge, guaranteed human from the
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: world famous FSR. Fox Sports Radio Studios, where Eileen from
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: San Francisco, who is out of social media jail. Congratulations
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: on your freedom, Eileen. And she says, the first thing
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I want you to do, Ben, is to tell me
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: about Express. I said, that's an odd thing. for a
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: woman out of social media jail to request, but we'll
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: do it. If you work in logistics, you know nothing
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: moves without you. Companies need skilled people now, and Express
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Employment Professionals can help you find contract or full-time work
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: that fits at no cost to you. Visit ExpressPros.com, get support,
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: get options, and get to work. And then I believe
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: it was Kathy in Madison said, who reached out and said,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: I really like the King. And I said, well, what
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: King are you talking about? And she said, well, DraftKings.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I said, that's right.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: The wait is over. Football is here, and so is DraftKings.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: DraftKings is now live in all 50 states. One app,
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: every sport, all 50 states. Right now, use the promo
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: code MALLER to claim your special offer at DraftKings. Again,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: that's promo code MALLER at DraftKings. The crown is yours.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: And you are here in the magic audio box as
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: we are reunited. We had a primetime game, island game.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: That was not much of a game.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: The Atlanta Falcons, the Dirty Birds, slopping that cheese. Up
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: a win there, cheese fondue at Lambeau Field, a blowout
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: win as Michael Penix Jr.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: For a night.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: Is the great messiah of the Atlanta Falcons. We'll see
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: how long that lasts. The Green Bay Packers. Who goofed?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: I've got to know.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: The doom and gloom at Lambeau Field. But our lead
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: this hour is from the controversy of the week. Not
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: the catch of the week. The controversy of the week
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: in the National Football League, as many have pointed out,
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: The NFL has brought back their alter ego, the No
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Fun League, shaking down multiple players for the crime of celebration.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: It's very important in our pro football. It is the religion,
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: the opium of the masses. You cannot celebrate. What's wrong
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: with you?
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: So if you haven't been paying attention.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: There have been several players who have been doinked financially.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: The most redonkulous of them all we're going to focus
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: in on, and that is in Northern California, where 49er
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: fullback Kyle Juszczyk was fined almost $ 15, 000. Now, what was
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: his crime? Did he steal a bunch of beer from
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: a liquor store? No, no, he did not. Did he rob? Well,
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: not rob, but did he pilfer the minibar at the hotel?
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: No.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: And I'm a little sad, a little melancholy to have
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: to tell you what happened.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: It's a little depressing here, but I will tell you
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: that 49er fullback Kyle Juszczyk was fined $ 14, 926 for chugging
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: beer after scoring. He chugged a beer. But it wasn't
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: a real beer. Was it a fake beer? Was it
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: a near beer? No, it wasn't a near beer. It
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: was no beer. Yet he was fine. The NFL called
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: it a, quote, offensive demonstration.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Look, I'm doing it right now. I'm drinking a fake beer. Oh, man,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I'm getting in trouble with the FCC.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: I'm drinking a fake beer.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: I'm doing it right now.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. Oh, this is great. Kyle claims his nickname
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: is Juice. and I guess that's not for steroids, and
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: he was just mimicking a juice box. Was it a
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Capri Sun? Oh, yeah, that's not a box. That's more
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: like a bag, the Capri Sun. Anyway, he said he
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: was just mimicking a juice box. a celebration he says
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: he has done for years. Of course, no one ever
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: watches Kyle Juszczyk, so how would we know? He said,
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I don't even drink beer. He was joking around.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Now, he wasn't the only one.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: A Colts lineman was fined almost $ 9, 000 for a similar pantomiming,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: while Lions wide receiver Amon Ross St. Brown says he
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: received not one, not two, not three, but four fines
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: for smoking.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Well, not actually smoking, fake smoking.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: And that was deemed offensive as well by our gatekeepers
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: at the National Football League.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: So that is a good jumping-off point.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Let us discuss the question.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: How can a league, the NFL, swimming in.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Alcohol sponsorships and all that alcohol money lecture anyone about
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: pretend drinking? So I've got Ouija board, Urinal cakes and fluffy.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: And we will combine all of these things together and
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: we will have focus and no hocus. We'll get to that.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: Now, number one.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: Number one.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: This is going to send sparks flying. I said, number one.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Number one.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Apparently, the NFL, and I give them credit.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: They're very powerful. They can determine the contents of a
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: beverage that doesn't even exist.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: You know how effing powerful you have.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: To be to realize that? That they can determine what...
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: A beverage is that isn't even a beverage. Now, we
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: love that they have identified an invisible beer in just
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: seconds over at the NFL. But I guarantee you this
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: weekend on Sunday, there'll be at least one or two
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: games where it takes them no less than seven. minutes
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: to determine whether somebody caught a football inbounds or not.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Did they have possession? Did they... Keep possession all the
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: way until they hit the ground. Let's have an expedited
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: booth review. Well, that won't work. Let's go to the
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: elongated booth review. Also, where's the toxicology report on the
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: imaginary beer? Is there an imaginary beverage unit that the
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: NFL brings in for these kind of things? Imagine if
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: they actually went to a hearing. Now, I guess there's
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: going to be some kind of Zoom thing next week.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: But imagine explaining at a disciplinary hearing. Mr.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Juszczyk, what exactly was inside the invisible container?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Well, Your Honor, there was nothing. You see, it wasn't,
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: there was invisible because there was nothing there. So my advice,
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: the NFL needs a Ouija board, and they need to
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: channel the sweet spirit of Marcel Marceau, because apparently Park Avenue,
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: They need a dead mime to explain that pantomiming is
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: not the devil's workshop. It's okay.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: And this is an example of what happens when an
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: organization becomes so enormous that it loses its focus. It
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: does not have the eye on the prize anymore. And
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: it starts to invent problems for itself. I often chuckle
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: when I look at early American history and why America
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: was founded for low taxation. And they wanted lower taxes.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: And you give it a couple hundred years, and now
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: all you people keep voting for taxes. The whole point
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: of America was less taxation. People just keep voting for taxes.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: So that's what happens over time. Now, the next touchdown,
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: the next touchdown that Juszczyk scores, he should mix it
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: up a little bit.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Now, he said his name's Juszczyk. I mentioned Capri Sun earlier.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: As a possibility. He could have a Snapple. He could
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: have a Snapple. And then wait for the NFL to
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: accuse him of promoting excessive sugar. Because Capri Sun, Snapple,
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: orange juice, they all have a lot of A lot
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: of sugar. As Mark Jackson said before he was blacklisted
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: from TV, what happened to the game I love? What
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: happened to the game I love? I thought the NFL
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: had moved on. They had said, oh, we want celebration.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: We're going to bring the fun back. And you have
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: players doing row, row your boat and other things after
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: scoring touchdowns. And now you cannot drink a beer. Well,
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: it's not a beer.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Well, you can't pretend to drink a beer. Why can't
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: I pretend to drink a beer?
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: I'd like to pretend to drink a beer. Well, you
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: can't do that. You're not allowed. Pantomime is not allowed
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: in the NFL. Cannot do it.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: All right, now, page two.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Keeping the beat going, can you explain what the NFL
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: should do with these pantomime drinking penalties? So my advice
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: for Roger the Dodger Goodell, unsolicited overnight sports talk radio
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: advice on the Ben Mather Show, fess up This isn't
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: about morality. It's not a morality play. It's corporate hypocrisy
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: wearing the NFL shield is what it is. Now, we've
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: reached the point where the league is now regulating liquids
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: that don't even exist. Are they going to do a
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: blood alcohol test to see what the blood alcohol level
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: of Kyle Juszczyk was considering he was drinking during the game?
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: It's crazy.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: So the NFL.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: eagerly accepts real beer money while condemning fictional beer consumption.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: Make it make sense. They sell vice. The NFL's in vice.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: I don't have a problem with vice. Just admit what
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: you're doing. You're in the gambling business. The NFL is
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: in the gambling business. They are in the alcohol business.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: They're in the controlled violence business. Buy the truckload. They've
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: even considered hiring Truck Stop Fungus and Moving Man Matt
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: to drive their trucks around. Welcome to Prohibition 2.0, where
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: you have to be a special breed of miserable... They're
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: policing imaginary beverages. And when some joyless Park Avenue desk
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: jockey spots Kyle Juszczyk pretending to sip on an imaginary
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: alcoholic beverage, they turn into the church lady.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: They turn into the church lady.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: They clearly have too many employees at the NFL. Again,
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: bureaucracy goes back to bureaucracy. So if Roger Goodell wants
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: to do his job properly, here's what I would do.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: My advice is the commissioner of the NFL find the
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: loser who decided this was a good find issue to
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Kyle Juszczyk and this other guy for the Colts you've
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: never heard of. And then what you do is you
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: surgically remove. the wooden broomstick that is shoved up this
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: person's badonkadonk, and then you reassign that person to counting
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: urinal cakes. Now, when they're done counting all of the
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: urinal cakes at NFL stadiums, you then excommunicate them before
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: they find someone for the crime of smiling. You were smiling,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: and that's offensive. How dare you? All right, final point.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: To Northern Ohio we go.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Is this going to be our 7,830th Mallard monologue on
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: Deshaun Watson and Shadur Sanders?
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: Hell no! However, we are.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: Told that Nick Chubb is returning to Cleveland not to play.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: He's going to sign one of those dopey one-day contracts
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: to officially retire.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: As a Brown.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: Now, Chubba Lub Lub will also be honored at the
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: game on Sunday. Cleveland hosting the Carolina football team. Chubb,
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: at his prime, had not one, not two, not three,
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: but four straight thousand-yard rushing seasons for the Brownies. Leading Cleveland.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: He put up some big numbers there on some mediocre teams.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: He then spent the 2025 season in Houston. Nobody remembers
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: that because it's the Texans season. And they did make
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: the playoffs that year. Chubb, in free agency, drew no interest,
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: not a single team, not a single team wanted to
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: bring in Nick Chubb. And so he announced his retirement
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: last month, saying he was at peace with walking away
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: after eight NFL seasons. The question, does anybody, does anybody
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: actually need paperwork to remember that Nick Chubb was a Brown.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: Does anyone need a piece of paper or digital form
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: to remember that Nick Chubb played for the Cleveland Browns?
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to get on my soapbox.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Don't mind me. Don't mind me. I'm going to get
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: on the soapbox. I'm getting on the bully pulpit. Maller's
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: getting on the bully pulpit. One-day retirement contracts are officially
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: the dumbest tradition in sports. Can somebody please explain why
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: grown adults get so emotional? They're verklempt over fake employment papers.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: I really don't get it. It's gone on for a
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: long time. I've never gotten it. And now we have
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Nick Chubb joining the fun. Oh, good. Nick Chubb is
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: a Cleveland Brown again. I know we were all losing
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: sleep over that. That event, that Nick Chubb comeback to
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: Cleveland Day should be hosted by Fluffy, the comedian. It's
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: meaningless fluff, a cheap heartstring-pulling PR stunt by the Cleveland
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: football team. It's the NFL's version of a Hollywood happily
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: ever after moment. You know those happily ever after fade
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: to black? Except the player already left, already played for
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: another team. The franchise has moved on, and the only thing,
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: the only thing getting renewed is the highlight package on
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: social media, and I'm sure you can sell a few
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: commemorative Nick Chubb Day t-shirts and all that. The Factory
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: of Sadness is now just producing commemorative sadness. They give
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: out little commemorative sadness pins and coffee mugs and all that.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: And keep in mind, the Browns, with Nick Chubb, were
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: 39-45-1 in games he played. In the regular season, Nick Chubb,
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: when he played, the Browns had a 4-64 winning percentage
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: with Nick Chubb in the lineup. And so for that,
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: you get balloons, you get a cake, possibly some brownies,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: and we indeed are living. In the stupidest of times,
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: when it comes to these kind of things, it just
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: makes little to no sense. It's just dumb, ceremonial baloney.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Baloney! Baloney.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: It is the Ben Maller Show, which is not baloney.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: And you know what's straight ahead here? It's called Benny vs.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: the Penny.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: And we'll check back at how we did last week,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: how we're doing overall, head-to-head every week. It is a battle.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: We have eight featured games. All of the games will
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: be available on social media on Friday or Saturday. We'll
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: give you all the picks on who we like. But
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: there are eight highlighted games, hand-picked, and we will break
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: them down against the spread. We'll tell you who should win,
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: why we like the teams that we like, against the
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: gambling number. We'll get to all of that.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: No calls.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: You can give us feedback. on X throughout the hour
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: if you agree with the picks. If you don't agree
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: with the picks, if you think we screwed something up,
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: you can complain. There's nothing the audio consumer loves more
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: than correcting the gas bag on the radio. So we'll
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: get to Benny versus the Penny in its entirety, and
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: we will do it. Next.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
• 39:58
  Speaker 5: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
• 40:00
  Speaker 6: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
• 40:07
  Speaker 5: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
• 40:19
  Speaker 7: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
• 40:21
  Speaker 7: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
• 40:25
  Speaker 7: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
• 40:28
  Speaker 7: get anywhere else.
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
• 40:32
  Speaker 5: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: on how football really works.
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: Continuity is very important. But what happens when you get
• 40:42
  Speaker 6: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize them,
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: then they want to hire them. And then you can't
• 40:49
  Speaker 6: stop a guy from trying to improve himself, but you
• 40:52
  Speaker 6: have to replace them.
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: Because once you understand what's going on inside the mind
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: So all aspects can be discussed.
• 41:02
  Speaker 7: The only thing I haven't done, because I didn't have
• 41:05
  Speaker 7: enough money, I don't own the team.
• 41:07
  Speaker 6: I never owned a team.
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: We thank you for hanging out with us. Appreciate that.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: We know you have options. Not good ones at this hour.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: But we're here for you.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: We're live and local in your eardrums.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: And you can take the Ben Maller Show with you
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: wherever you go. I know.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: It's wild.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: What a time to be alive. It's called the iHeartRadio app.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Have that on your phone, your devices, whatever you use
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: to listen to audio content. Make sure to have the
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio channel on there. We're on Fox Sports
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: Radio's channel on iHeart. That's who broadcasts the show four
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: hours a night, every single night. Also, in addition to that,
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: you can find the Ben Malish Show podcast. Make that
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: a P1. You can become a P1 for the Fifth
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: Hour podcast. All of that audio content available on the
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: iHeartRadio app. It's a one-stop shop, and they do keep
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: track of who has what as a preset. So that
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: does help us out. You might think, who cares? Some
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: corporate weasel cares.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: That's who.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: So please help us out. Check it out. iHeartRadio out.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Knock, knock.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Who's there? Lame week.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Lame week who?
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: And away we go.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: It's Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Every week at about this time here to dazzle you.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: And we bring in... America's favorite clown. He laughs at everything.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: Even if he doesn't know what it is, he'll laugh
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: at it. Even himself. He loves self-deprecating humor. He's upside down.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: He's Weed Man Hippie! Wee! How you doing, Ben? Benny
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: and the Weed Man.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: It's going to happen. Benny and the Weed Man.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: Big show.
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: Am I going to go on your show on Saturday
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: or what?
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Well, you were just on a couple weeks ago. I've
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: got to get other people.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, come on.
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: What are you going to put me on once a month?
• 43:16
  Speaker 6: Why are you going to teach me like that?
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: That's really not right.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Well, Weed Man, listen, people get pissed. They think they
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: don't like you. They don't like Ferg, Dog, and Alf,
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: and Malapropguy. They think you guys are like the teacher's pet.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: And they don't get enough attention. And they want attention.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: These guys get annoyed with me.
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: You've got to be joking.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: So what?
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: Oh, you've got to be. All right.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: All right. Shut up. All right. You're way too. That's
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: what I'm talking about. Oh, my God. All right.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: Here we go, Weed Man. These are actual jokes.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: You want me to do a round? I'll put, like,
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: four people on. I don't care if you idiots want
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: to go on.
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: No, I want to be on. All right.
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: All right. This is from George in Uvalde, Texas. One
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: of our buddies, a teacher there in Uvalde, Texas. He says,
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: why is Mount Rushmore... Weed Man Hippie's favorite monument.
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: Well, all four presidents.
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: Are already stoned. So there you go. Stoned for life.
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: That's George and Evaldi.
• 44:27
  Speaker 6: I love that joke.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: That is a good joke by George and Evaldi Texas.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: When will the aliens give unworldly technology to.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: Weed Man Hippie?
• 44:37
  Speaker 6: Wow, I keep asking.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: After he learns to use a TV remote.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: That's from Lucky Tony. You don't even have a TV,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: do you? You watch everything on your phone.
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: I bet you don't.
• 44:51
  Speaker 6: Even have a TV.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: On my phone, yeah.
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: As far as the TV, I watch everything.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: All right. Did you hear that Weed Man went into
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: the dentist last week?
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Big news here.
• 45:01
  Speaker 6: Oh, I wish I would have went into the dentist.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they took one look at him.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: They sent him on his way with a couple of
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: breath mints, a box of chiclets, and a squeaky chew toy.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: That's from didn't sign.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: His name guy. Didn't sign his name guy. I think
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: it was somebody named Andrew, but they didn't sign their name.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: What is the real reason Weed Man Hippie doesn't sleep?
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Because his body.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Odor is too overwhelming. That's from John in Youngstown, Ohio.
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: That's not very nice, John. Weed Man showers at least
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: once a week. Come on, give him a break. What's
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: wrong with you? Did you know that Weed Man hippie
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: can trace his ancestry back to the colonial times?
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. His great, great, great, great, great grandfather was
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: brought over as an undentured servant. So there you go.
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: It's a joke. Much like you, it's undentured. All right.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Why is Weed Man pretty safe from lightning?
• 46:04
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: Because he's mostly lying on the ground. That's from Michael
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: in Tulsa. What did the large woman say when she
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: saw Weed Man's I haven't eaten in three days begging sign? What?
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: The large woman said, I wish I had your willpower.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: That's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. How long did it
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: take Weed Man? Oh, I can't. John, I can't do
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: that joke, John. I can't. I mean, I'd like to,
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: but I can't. It's too offensive. All right, let's see here.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: What do the Green Bay Packers offensive line and Weed
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: Man have in common? What?
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: They both do a whole lot of nothing.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: That's from Noah in Austin. What's the biggest difference between
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: Tommy in Minnesota and Weed Man Hippie?
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: What?
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: Well, Tommy cuts the grass and Weed Man smokes the
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: grass right there.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: What was Weed Man's best event at the Olympics?
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: What?
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: The high jump. There you go.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: Hey, Ben, what does Weed Man want to know more about?
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: Weed Bowl!