Latest / Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin / Episode 17: Power-UP Your Mindset with Scott Felds Expert Advice

Transcript

Episode 17: Power-UP Your Mindset with Scott Felds Expert Advice · Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, I.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Want to introduce you to somebody. And when I met him,
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: he told me he wanted to write this book about Dax,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: but he had to have a son first so he
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: could name it Dax.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: So he could write the book about his son.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, that might be a little bit of a tall tale,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: but let's ask Scott what the true story is.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: No, you got it. You nailed it. No, just kidding.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Exactly what I said. No, yeah. It's strange how things
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: work out. I didn't even know I was going to
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: write a children's book when I had my son Dax,
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: who's now 10 years old. Dax was the name that
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: I told my wife when she was maybe two or
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: three months pregnant. And she was like, no, I don't
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: like it. And then we went through a whole slew
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: of names. And she was about seven to eight months pregnant.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: And then she came back. And she's like, I just
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: can't stop thinking Dax. And of course, you know, our kids,
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: when they come out, they look just like that name.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: For some reason, he was such a Dax and he
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: is a Dax. And, you know, just the name fits
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: him perfectly. So it was a lucky thing. And then,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: you know, when I wanted to write this kid's confidence book,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Dax to the Max just really came first and stuck.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: And and that's how it came out. Dax to the Max.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, and I was just thinking. It's a good
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: thing you didn't have a girl.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, the girl name was already picked out
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: because I had heard it a long time ago and
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: all my experience working with kids. And there was this name.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Ily and it was ILY and it was I Love You.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: And so my wife and I were both like, we're
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: naming our daughter Ily. And when we found out we
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: were having a son, it threw us for a loop.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: We had to come up with something, right? But things
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: are meant to be. I had a son. His name
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: was Dax. I had to put out Dax to the
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: mats and here we are.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, wait, there's more to that title. Tell everybody the
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: rest of that title.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: Blah, blah, blah, source power pods. Okay. Okay.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Please explain that, because I absolutely love what this is about.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, thank you so much for mentioning. Yeah, this is
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: a blob, blob, blob right here, this guy, you know.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: So we give these away when we are at book
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: fairs and things like that. Kids love these. And, you know,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: if kids have any, like, sensory issues, they're on the
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: spectrum at all, these are, like, really, really cool for them,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: you know, to focus and concentrate. So... anyhow the blah
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: blah blobs are caused by stink think stink think is
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: negative self-talk negative self-talk is i can't it's too hard
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: i'm not good enough they're better than me you know
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: like things that bring you backwards keep you from doing
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: the things that you might want to do kids have
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: stink think what i call but adults have stink think
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: too Adults have stink think like I did before I
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: started on my own personal development journey and really learned
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: about what I write about. We have it because we
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: never had it interrupted. We never had anybody say to
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: us at an early age, stop, check this out. you
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: are creating what I call the blah, blah, blobs. They
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: get in the way of you doing what you want
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: to do. The more you stink think, the bigger and
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: stronger they become. So the harder things occur, they're not
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: actually harder. They just start feeling and looking harder because
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: you've thought so many times, it's hard. I can't do it.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: It's hard. I can't do it. And so What we
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: do is we interrupt, and that's what Max does in
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: the book. Max is Dax's inner superpower, or ISP. And
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: I say we all have an inner superpower. And we
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: have to wake it, or it has to wake us.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: It can go either way. In the book, it actually
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: literally wakes up Dax and says to him, hey, man,
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: we got some problems, Dax. I'm living up here in
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: your mind with these blobs and all this stink, and
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: it's like I can't handle it anymore, so I need
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: to show you another way. That's power thinking. Power thinking. Yeah. Question? Comment?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: No, I just, I love it.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: In the Camp Confidence series, in the book Let Your
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Sparkle Shine, we're talking about the same thing. It's just
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: that Eugenia and Tilly the Turtle tell different stories about
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: letting your sparkle shine.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Each kid had something about themselves that they didn't like.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: That's their stink thing, saying people are going to make
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: fun of me, like Sarah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: If I use the.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Big words and show how smart I am, people are
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: going to make fun of me. Or Francie not wanting
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: the third strike. She was fat. She had buck teeth.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: She didn't want to wear glasses, too. Well, she finally
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: embraces the glasses because that's her sparkle. They let her
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: see the world. So we're talking the same things. We're
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: just using a little different language to talk about it.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: And we were talking about a text you wrote yesterday.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Let's explain that and unpack that because... When I say
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: your book says the same thing my book says, doesn't
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: mean one should be read and not the other. They
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: both should be read.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: So please tell everybody about that post.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: OK, I will. And I noticed the same thing when
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I read your book, Let Your Sparkle Shine, that it
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: is very similar. And the similarity when you say let
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: your sparkle shine to finish what a power pot is,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: it's created by power thinking. I can, I will, I'll try.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I'm learning, I'm growing. Max tells Dax that if he
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: does that, he creates this light, this ball of light
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: around him and Now he's glowing and he's shining and
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: you can take that light. You defeat the blobs and
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: the blobs hate that they, you know, run away and
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: they're scared. And then you get on to doing the
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: things that you want to do. And Max gives Dax
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: a couple of tools. You have to read the book
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: to find out what those tools are, which are good. So,
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: you know, we were talking about, it was a post
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: actually that I did where, And it was because I
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: was scrolling Facebook and I saw a growth mindset program.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: And the first thing when I'm looking at it, because
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: it really looked good on the surface and it probably is,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: but it's limiting. And how I see it as limiting
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: is that it plants seeds. And so unless those seeds
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: are watered and the sun's shining and the soil's fertile
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: and it stays that way, They don't necessarily grow, at
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: least not right away as kids. They need more. And
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: I said that about even my own book. Read the book,
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: and it plants the seeds. But I noticed it needed
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: a second step and then ultimately a third step. The
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: second step was activities, challenges, and games that they could
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: do based on the lessons in the book. So I
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: created the Beat the Blobs Challenge. It's a short course
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: that kids and families and parents can do together. where
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: you write your own personal PowerBook using those lessons that
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Max teaches Dax. So then you have a reference guide
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: that's personal when something hard or challenging or out of
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: your comfort zone comes up, and the immediate thing is
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: that stink thing. You can go, oh, I'm creating a blob.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: I don't wanna create a blob. Let me change the
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: channel on my thoughts to a power thinking thought. I can,
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: I'll try. Create a PowerPod to beat that blob, get
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: that blob out of here. And the more, as Max
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: tells Dax, the more you practice or practice, the better
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: you get at that. There's science behind it because there's
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: neural pathways that get built. And the more we say
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: something to ourselves, the more we believe that to be true.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: And our subconscious doesn't care what it is. I can't
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: or I can't. And so we want to build up
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: that can. And so when we start doing this with
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: activities and challenges and games, and I always say, if
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: you add play, it will stick and stay. And that's,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: you know, for kids, but oftentimes that's for all of us, right?
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Well, that is absolutely why I wrote my personal development
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: book in the theme of fairy tale, because it makes
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: it more fun. People identify with the characters. They're not
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: just reading, well, this is what you should do in
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: step one. You should do this. They're reading about the
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: characters doing the steps.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And it makes a huge difference. Right. And the story,
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: of course, is always good. And that's why we both
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: write our books in story form. We don't just say
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: you have an inner superpower. You should power thing. You should. Right.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: It's inside of an adventure story for both of us.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: This one's for the adults.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: For the adults, too.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: That's a great, that's a great title. And I know
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: that for my book, when they hear, as I'm explaining it,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: you know, blobs and power pods and stuff, many families,
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: many parents say to me, I have blobs. Isn't this
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: book for me? I go, it absolutely is. I go,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I use this book. Like I can hear myself going,
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: Oh no. And then I can go stop, interrupt. Like,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: you know, I've gotten pretty good at it, but it's
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: useful for everyone. And so the, Yeah, so the third
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: step that I was talking about, as I thought, is
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: it's still not enough just to have the course and
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: say DIY. just go do it yourself. And because they
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: may or may not do it, it may or may
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: not land. So as we get into this kind of
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: world of like where we're just putting out things on
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: the Internet and the personal touch is a little gone.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I really still use it. I coach the kids and
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: the parents who take my courses. I encourage them, you know,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: once a week, let's jump on a call so that
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I can say, Look what you've done. What did you
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: get from that? How can you place that into your
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: life right now? And then now we have a much
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: more robust thing. Read the book, got the words, did
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: the games, got the coaching around it. And this is
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: where I think it makes the huge impact and the
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: huge difference. And so that's really what I'm up to
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: is that three step process. So I don't want people
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: just to read my book. It's great if you do.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Thank you. But I'd love for you to also do
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: the Beat the Blobs challenge. I'm sure here we'll say
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: where you can find that. And I also want you
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: to do coaching with me, which is often included in
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: my courses.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: This is a good time to tell them.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: How can they get a hold of your Beat the
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Blobs challenge and your coaching?
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: PowerUpUniverse.com is just the best place to go see the
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: courses and everything that I do. Yeah.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Our universe.com. Cause I looked at it. It's amazing.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: I loved everything you said. And I have a kid's channel.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It's called sparkle feathers TV. Would you like to record
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: an episode for the kids about how they could put
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: this into practice?
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I would love to. That would be amazing. I'm a
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: subscriber to the channel. And I know that the age
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: group that your channel hits is the age group that
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I hit as well. And it is the age group
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: of my own son. So it's a perfect match.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Those tweens, those left behind tweens, the forgotten age group.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't forget them. This content is just for them. Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Can we talk a little bit about that age group
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: and why we both feel that way? So we're really
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: talking about, I think, you know, let's seven to twelve,
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: eight to twelve. I know eight and seven isn't quite
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: tween age, but it gets close. Yeah. Ten and eleven.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Like I said, I have a 10 year old. And
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: what I noticed is that, you know, they're still like.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: kids for the most part at seven and eight and
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: they have a lot of kid things but there's little
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: like signs of them kind of tweening like growing up
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: a little bit um but i think more in the
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: girls to be honest than the boys um And then
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: when they're kind of in that 10 to 11, I
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: think it can be confusing for parents as well as
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: it's confusing for kids. Like, who am I, right? Am
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I kind of leaning towards this sort of an adult
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: and I want more freedoms? And I was going to
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: say responsibilities, but they actually probably don't. Some of them do,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: depending on what the responsibility is. And do I also
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: want my blanket and my stuffed animal and my, you know, cuddles,
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: you know, like... And so it can be a little
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: bit confusing.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: They all need one of these.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: They do all need one of those to cuddle with.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: My God. Those are so cute. And they're up for adoption.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: They are. They're up for adoption.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: And they come with adoption papers. I'll be, I'll sell
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: So that can be an age group where we almost
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: don't see problems. For instance, like. But there was another
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: post that I had done the day before, and I've
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: said this tons of times. I'm like, why, if we
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: see smoke, do we think we have to wait for
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: a fire before we do anything? Thank you. Why, when
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: we see a drip coming out of the pipes, do
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: we have to wait for a flood before we do anything?
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: And we don't. That's the thing is that if we,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: like I said, interrupt any signs that we see and
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: just empower and it can even it doesn't even have
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: to be like something's wrong. It could be something I
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: want to go for. I want to be in a play,
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: but I'm not sure I'll be good at it. I
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: want to go for that next level team, but I
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: don't know if I'm going to make it. So I
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: don't know if I'm going to try out. This is
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: the consistent thinking that happens when you're up to something.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: And Francine, I learned something about my program and my
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: courses from these two girls. They go to my son's school.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: They're about a year. One's a year older. One's two
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: years older. And one of them is in all of
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: the plays. She's like a model. She does all of
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: this amazing stuff. And I did not see her as
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: a client. When I was talking to her mom about it,
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: she goes, I'm in. I'm doing the program. I'm like,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: you are?
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: You know, your daughter seems fine. She goes, yeah, she's
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: she's great. But I never want her to say no.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: I want her to always feel something powerful. And this
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: sounds like it'd be something you could give to her.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: And the other girl who gets like straight A's, she's
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: already done a junior TED talk. Her dad said the
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: same thing. She's like, I want my daughter to do this.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you do? Same thing. I never want her
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: to say no. She's going to be up to big things.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: We don't know how we got this daughter, but she's
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: up to big things. I never, ever want her to
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: say no. So I realized in those moments that this
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: is for kids who are up against things and also
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: up to things where there might be something that they're against.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: So it's not just that they're shrinking. It's that they
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: want to grow. So it handles all parts of that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: And that really is, you know, there's some signs. Smoke
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: could be a little extra nervous for trying something bigger
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: than they've ever tried. Let's empower them to go do
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: it so that they don't say no. They don't have regrets.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: They don't feel in their room like, I didn't do that.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: And the opportunity's gone.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I have a whole series of videos on Sparkle Feathers TV.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: about I'm not good.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: At it yet.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the big yet word.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Almost every video has yet in it because you're never
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: going to get good at it unless you try, unless
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: you practice.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: But think about that word yet. I didn't learn that
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: as a kid. Did you?
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, no.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: And you were on my podcast and we talked about
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: the 50 years that it took for you to go
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: from one thing that was said for you to realize
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: that you didn't need to carry that anymore. You have
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: to check out my podcast to know what that story was,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Power of Universe Podcast.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I can't wait for that to come out. I will definitely,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: everybody's going to hear about it when it comes out.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: That's awesome. Thank you. Yes. We didn't know yet. That's
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: one of the interruption words, right? It's like, hey, plant
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: that seed. Now put it into action. Don't just say
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: it to them and just go, so yet. And then
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: it doesn't have the real meaning behind. What does it
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: mean to say I can't do it yet?
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: That means that it's not finished. It's not saying I
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: can't do it now. It's saying I can't do it yet,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: which means you could do it in the future.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: When you say I can't do it, you're actually stopping.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: You're putting a stop sign, a stop light up. And
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: then from there, you're probably going backwards, right? You're not
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: just staying right there. When you say, I can't do
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: it yet, it's a forward one because yet means there's
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: a future moment where you see yourself doing it and
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: you're taking the steps and actions to get there. So
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: that's what yet is.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: You know, your brain remembers or your brain believes and
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: remembers anything you tell it, whether it's a truth or
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: a lie. When you say, I can't do it yet.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: you're telling your brain that I need to keep trying.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. And a truth or a lie, the
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: more you think it, the more it becomes a truth.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: But truth and lies are mostly, I mean, they're relevant
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: in some ways. I mean, obviously there's an actual lie
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: and there's an actual truth of something that happened. If
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I say I ate the cookie, And I ate the cookie.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: That's the truth. And if I say I didn't eat
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: the cookie and I ate the cookie, that's a lie.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: That's pretty right. But saying I can't do it or
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I'm not good enough. There's no truth or lie to it.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: It's just whatever you decide for yourself is going to
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: be true, which you're going to believe that becomes your
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: truth or it becomes your lie. When you say I
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: can't do it, but you really can. And you're aware
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: that you're doing that. You can interrupt if you understand
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: blobs and powerbombs.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: For me, one of my blobs was technology. I'm not
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: good at technology. But when I add, I'm not good
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: at technology yet, now I could say, well, I could
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: try it, and if it doesn't work, then I will
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: try something.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Else or I'll get help. And one day I will
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: become good at technology.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: And there's something important about what you just said is
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: that when you say yet, you have to take steps
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: to shrink the distance between where you are and actually
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: being good at technology in your case. You can't just
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: say I'm not good yet and stay there.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Because now you're really just saying I'm not good at
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: it and adding it yet.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Well and that's where the games and what else did
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: you say the games and the.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: Play activities and challenges so i.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Made technology a game for me okay i want to
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: do this let's see how many different ways i could
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: figure out to do it until i come up with
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: the best way.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: And you know when you gamify something, it's just more interesting.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: It is. Automatically. It is.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Or instead of trying to figure everything out and how
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: to do a podcast, I just recorded my first episode.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: And then I figured out what I did wrong.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. And so in doing that... We have to
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: be really good with knowing we are going to do
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: things wrong and not have that stop us, not have
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: this make us feel bad. Right. We have to go
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: in with I'm going to learn. That's the growth mindset. Right.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I'm going to learn. I'm not going. I applied for
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: something the other day. And just before I got on here,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I got an email that said it doesn't look like
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: you're a good fit. And in that moment, as a
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: human being, I was disappointed. But I also saw the
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: line underneath that said, but to get you ready, here's
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: like this free, no strings attached, you know, steps that
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: you can take to reapply. And then I had to
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: really in that moment go opportunity.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I just got sent an opportunity. so that I can. Yeah. So,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: so it's all how you, it's.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: All how you perceive it. It's your perspective.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: For instance, I keep applying to TEDx and I keep
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: getting those rejection letters. And then I think, you know,
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: it's not me. I just don't fit their theme or
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: there's five of us saying the same thing and they
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: just like the others better that there's nothing wrong with me.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Or what I'm.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Saying, I just don't fit what they're looking for at
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And in the world of yet, you could say,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I'm not fitting yet. And then you could discover why
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: I'm not fitting, you know, and get, you know, some
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: training if you wanted to change some things a little
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: bit if you wanted to, you And then you're taking
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: steps towards the yet being, I'm a TEDx speaker.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Or in the world of let your sparkle shine, I
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: am fine exactly the way I am. I just didn't
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: find the right platform to present myself. I just keep applying.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I haven't found it yet. But one day somebody is
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: going to like me for who I am. I don't
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: have to change who I am to fit in. I
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: will find the right place, the right fit for me.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which is a beautiful way to do it. Sometimes
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: the thing we want, we really, really want though, which
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: could be a TEDx stage because it will get, maybe
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: it's not even like the TEDx stage. That's not the
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: ultimate goal, but it's what that might open up for
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: you as far as opportunity. I know that you want
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: to make a huge impact just like I do. And
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: so oftentimes, you know, we might adapt a little bit
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: to get to that platform, to get to that opportunity
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: because it gives us the impact. You're like, no, I'm
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: not doing.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: That.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I am too comfortable in who I am right now
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: to change for anybody.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: This is me. This is who I am. This is
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: what you get.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and people who know you know that it's an
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: incredible journey to get there. I've only just met you,
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: but because you're on my podcast, I know the story.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: And it's not a normal story, kids.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: No, nothing about me is normal. And I always tried
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: to be normal. I always tried to, I wanted to
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: fit in so bad my whole life. And now I
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: realize I never fit in because I.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Wasn't supposed to. I'm supposed to stand out.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what Let Your Sparkle Shine is.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's your world, Let Your Sparkle Shine. So
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: when people are trying to dim your sparkle, you are
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: definitely going to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Nope,
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: I don't need you. It's okay. Go do your thing.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: I'm out here shining. Yeah, which is cool. And there'll
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: be people who... who love that so much. And there are,
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: of course. I mean, look at what you've created with
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: the books and all of that. Look what I've created
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: as well and are continuing to create.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Well, I just want to put out there, the reason
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I started working with these tweens, this age group, grades
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: like three through six, three through seven, three through eight,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: is because back during COVID in 2020, These were the
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: children who didn't get to go to school. These were
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: the children who were left out of that socialization. While
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: they should have been learning this in the classroom with
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: other kids, they were at home learning how to read, write,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: and do math online. All of this trial and error
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: we talk about, all of this, I can't do it yet.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: They didn't have the opportunity with the trial and error
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: and learning.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Where they fit in. They're a little behind.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: The kids who went to school every day or even
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: the homeschool kids who went to the homeschool programs to
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: be socialized with the other children. These kids were left
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: out and now they're making up for it. And some
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: of them want to fit in so bad because they
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: couldn't do it when they were in kindergarten, first, second grade.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Now they're in third, fourth and fifth and they don't
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: know how to do it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so. So my son just started fifth
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: grade when COVID hit. He was only like in fifth. BK.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: So it wasn't really too much as far as I know.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: So it's a little bit older kids who definitely were
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: affected for sure. But we don't know. I mean, everybody
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: I think that didn't have the normality of little bit.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: And some got behind more than others. And I think
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: a lot of it kind of depended on what parents
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: were able to do during that time with their kids.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that age group too. I always feel like
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: my son was not necessarily affected that much because of
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: how young he was at the time but those kids
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: who are like two years older than him they were
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: in second grade or something like that much more effect
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: because those are very social years you really are learning
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: about your friends and all of that kind of stuff yeah.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: And then if you think about the kids who were
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: juniors and seniors in high school oh my gosh they
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: missed out of so many rites of passage that yeah
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: learning how to drive the uh, graduation, the prom, the
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: applying for college, maybe even their freshman year of college,
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: depending on.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Where they were.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: And this book would really help them.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go. Yeah. I don't have any, I
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: don't have much for that age group, but, um, I
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: know that had I had the course and the program
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: for them when they were maybe younger and they had
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: some tools, then if that got them down, if it
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: changed them, if it caused them to kind of hide away,
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: become a recluse, and it was hard to get out
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: of that, it was hard to readjust. to re-socialize. I
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: think definitely if they had done my program, of course,
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: they would have had some tools. And that's the whole idea.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: We don't know what's next, what's coming up, right? We
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: don't know when there might be something that we need
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: to really handle. And so my whole thing is, you know,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: handle now, but also, you know, preparation. I have, you know,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: first aid kit and some earthquake prep stuff. I don't expect... You.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: Have to tell everybody that Scott is in California.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I am.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Everybody who's watching in Florida, don't worry.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: There's no earthquakes expected here.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we do earthquakes. You guys do hurricanes.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but being prepared for it isn't a bad thing.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: It's a really good thing. You want to be. And
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: so that's the idea behind empowerment. Empowerment is a tricky
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: word because, again, we tend to not do much until
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: there's water flowing into the house because the pipe broke.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: But when we really look back, we go, you know what?
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: I saw a leak like six months ago. I saw
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: it dripping and I saw a little bit more drip.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: And I did take a towel. I had to clean
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: up under the sink there. So I knew something was
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: going on, but I kind of was just wishing it
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: would go away. And it did not. And this is
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: kind of like, you know, with the kids and the
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: stink tank, you start hearing and seeing a little more
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: than you used to do. And all of a sudden
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: that grows without interruption. And so it's not fixing the kids,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: it's empowering the kids.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: And well, my motto is let's raise strong and confident
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: kids today so we don't have to fix broken adults later.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Let's teach them the right tools now. So when they're
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: 58 years old, like I was, they're not trying to
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: figure it out for the first time in their life.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Right. Yeah, absolutely. And then, you know, you're one of
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: the lucky ones, to be honest. And so am I,
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: because so many go and they never, ever figure it out.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: That's right. That's right.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: When I wrote the first version of this book, I
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: was out promoting it and a lady bought the book
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: and read it and she loved it so much. She
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: ended up doing a keynote on my book. And of course,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I had to go listen to it. And she said
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: she gave my book to her roommate who had been
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: clinically depressed her whole adult life.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And she was in her 70s.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: And she read the book and she said it was
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: almost an immediate switch. The lightness started coming back into her.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: How cool is that? That must have felt really, really, really,
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: really good.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, yes.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: And I talked to a lot of new authors and
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: And they all say, I didn't feel like an author until.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: That might have been my I didn't feel like an
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: author until moment.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, that's very cool. Yeah. You knew you were
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: making the impact and I, I know what you mean.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: I know what you mean. Yeah. It's so good when
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: we find out an on the court kind of case
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: where what we wrote or what we said actually, you know,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: helped somebody in a, in a significant way or in
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: a small way, but you know, help them.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: Help them. Right.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Well, I love everything that we're doing together and now
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: we got to put in the plug. Scott is my
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: newest member in Children's Authors Unite. We are a high
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: powered mastermind for children's authors.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: And we're also a support group.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: We help with everything from story development to how to
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: promote your book after it's published and everything in between.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: So if you'd like to get in this high powered
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: group of children's authors, send me an email. And just say,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I want to join your group. We meet 3.30 p.m.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Eastern time on Zoom. Let me know you want the
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Zoom invite, and I will send it to you, and
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: you can join us. And remember, every Friday at 5 p.m.,
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: we have Live at 5 with Children's Authors. Scott was
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: on last week. Go ahead and check some of the replays.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: And he'll be on again this week, I hope.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: I think so. I think it's on the schedule. Yeah,
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: why not? All right.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: So we'll be seeing you Fridays live at five. If
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: you're a children's author, come visit us 3.30 p.m. Eastern
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: on Zoom. Just let me know you want the Zoom invite.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And run to Amazon and get the book, Dex the Max.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: Dex to the Max.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Dex to the Max. Dex to the Max.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: All right, Scott. Thank you very much.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Francine.