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Transcript

Maybe I’m Not Used to Hearing No · Ok But Are You Good?

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Corinne, and this is Okay But Are You Good?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where we checking ourselves on a weekly basis to see how we're doing.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are we living our best lives or are we just trying to get by?
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Another solid week.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like life is going real well, and I really appreciate that.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope everyone else is having a good week.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's not, hopefully it turns around.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into it.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna start this episode with something really small.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, a moment I had with someone, and that was being told no.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't dramatic, it wasn't huge, nothing life-changing, but it's something that caught me off guard.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't being told no, it was my reaction to being like, wait, is this real life?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought they were joking.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I caught myself being like, why did that bother me so much?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this isn't a big deal.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: But because it wasn't a big deal, I caught myself being like, Why were you so caught off guard?
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: It led me to have a bigger like self-reflection, just this little moment.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I keep having these little like moments that are life-changing for me.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I guess sometimes I can just be a simple gal, you know?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: But as I kept thinking about it, I realized I kind of had an aha moment of like, wow, you've been so fortunate in this life to have people that are supporting you and want the best for you for the most part.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I if something happened, I've always had someone to lean on.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: If there's something I wanted to try, something new, like it was encouraged.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've just definitely been fortunate that I've had people looking out for me.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when you have that, you kind of don't realize it because it just becomes like normal life.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: But when you don't have that, that's when you're like, oh wow, like I really appreciate this and like you're really grateful for it.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I know like people don't always have that kind of support.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I am happy that I'm feel really appreciative that I have had that kind of support, like just someone always in my corner throughout my life, even on in the times that it felt like I was alone.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: But this like moment of being told no made me think like, has always having someone take care of me made growing up adulthood a little harder than I realized?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you've always had people helping you out.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, have you really had to like try and be out there on your own?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Have you had to experience hard things?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I definitely have, but I've always had like backup.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: When I went through really tough year last year, I had my support.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: If I didn't have my support, I think this year would have turned out a lot differently.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's definitely times where I've felt lack of support, but it's always there's always someone there.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the benefit of having such a huge family and having a lot of long-term or lifetime friends.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But this moment this week, it's like, wow, like, okay, like maybe we need to do some self-reflecting.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I did.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, do like when I was told no, totally respect boundaries, not a big deal.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm like, I do I just go through life expecting like it's always gonna be yes, or like do I always just assume it's gonna work out?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think like, yeah, you can assume in some instances, but like not always, like it's not gonna work out 20, like a hundred percent.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then when it doesn't, you do have to figure it out, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I have.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not here to be like, I'm so fortunate.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I've always had people looking out for me.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's honestly like, okay, it made me sit here and appreciate how much love and sport I have been surrounded by.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And adulthood is different.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You grow up, you have a lot more people that should and are looking out for themselves.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: You got people that aren't always gonna just like give you whatever you want and they shouldn't.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And there is gonna be like the reality of like people saying no.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because in um sixth grade, I was voted most difficult to say no to by my teacher.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I really thought that was like a weird thing um that they gave me.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, there's nothing else.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: But as I like gotten older, I've really thought about like, I don't know if that's like a great trade or like I'm maybe I'm just so charming.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't really know.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's still kind of weird to me that's what they like decided to put.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: They could have just been like, you're you're a great student.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I maybe I just wasn't, but I think that goes into my point of like even my teacher had a hard time saying no to whatever I was asking for in in the classroom, which is why I think like there's been some moments where I need a little bit of reality check.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one thing, another thing I've learned is separating the word no from rejection immediately, of like, oh, they're mad at me.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's why they're not hanging out, or they're they're just busy, or maybe it's just not the right time to for whatever you're asking for.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's as simple as just like people are protecting their peace and setting that boundary, and that's why they are saying no, or they're busy, or they can't, like whatever the like rejection word is, or not rejection word, whatever the like no reply is.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it has nothing to do with me, it has nothing to do with you.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: The answer just simply is no.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I respect that because as someone that's been really working on their boundaries, I want people to also set their own boundaries for themselves.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I have to, if I want others to respect my boundaries, I need to respect theirs as well.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, as a kid, life is so different.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Childhood looks different for everyone.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: For me, you know, I had supportive parents, supportive family.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: My teachers were pretty chill for the most part.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: There was always someone just like looking out for you.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think I would hope a lot of people have that.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: There was at least someone in your life looking out for you.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then as we grow up, you're the adult and life hits you.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Opportunities don't work out.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: You get denied a request at work.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: You might not see your friends as much as you thought you would.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: A plan falls through, someone says no, you get rejected to go on a date.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's in these moments that life reminds you that not everything is gonna happen exactly how you hoped.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know how some of us expect how the day is gonna go, and then your unspoken plan just doesn't happen.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that on the daily, almost.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe not on the daily, but these moments that happen that like you have no control over.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels disappointing at first.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then you realize, like, maybe it's not not everything's a bad thing.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just hearing no is one way to become more resilient, to have tougher skin.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I've been told.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in my life.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's a good reminder that the world doesn't revolve around our timeline.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can try and make it revolve around yourself and your timeline, like your world does revolve around you.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: It should, but that's not the reality all the time.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: You have to ebb and flow through life, you have to adjust, get out of your comfort zone, like really learn that like not everything's about you all the time.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not personal.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that is okay that it's not about you all the time.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay when it is about you all the time.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: It just ebbs and flows depending on the day, depending on the situation.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And just having this moment of like being told no and like having it be really random and not what I expected, just made me realize, like, wow, okay, like why are you having such a big reaction to something so miniscule, so mini?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'm it just really had me be appreciative that like I have lived the life I've lived up to this point.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad to have my support system.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It gave me space to grow into who I am.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: It I felt loved even during the hard times, even during the times that like aren't always the best.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a gift, it really was.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But now it's my responsibility to keep growing, to get out of my comfort zone, to become someone who can handle disappointment with grace and that like you're not always gonna get what you want all the time, and that it's just part of life, and you got to grow up.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm growing up day by day, trying to be my best self.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe this week, if someone tells you no, something doesn't go your way, don't immediately go to that thought of like, you're not enough, the world is caving in, everything's over.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just life redirecting you, maybe it's just someone protecting their own boundaries.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I've realized being an adult, growing up, isn't always about getting what you want.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's about learning how to respond when you don't.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is a life lesson that I will take with me forever till the end of time.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I will leave you with that.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so don't forget this week to uh check in with yourself and ask, okay, but are you good?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you so much for listening in.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I will catch you all next week and make sure to like and subscribe.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.