Latest / Shit Moms Say / Who Even Are We? | Shit Moms Say #1

Transcript

Who Even Are We? | Shit Moms Say #1 · Shit Moms Say

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Shit Mom Stay Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Destiny, the host.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is This is my co-host, LD.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we're two moms.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Both mom of two.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: One of each.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: One of each.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sums it up.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Mine are seven and three and a half.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And mine are two and a half and one.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been through all the early parenting so far.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's been a blast.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I think today we're gonna talk about how we became moms, right?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we can.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds fun.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: My story's a little more lengthy.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, then you go first.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so my story's lengthy.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Me and my husband have been together for 15 years.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh married for really sorry.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Married for 14.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we tried to have a baby for six years before we got pregnant.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: We ended up doing fertility treatments.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um it was very awkward.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we only ended up we only ended up having to do two fertility treatments, thank God.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it was essentially you go in, you take a pill every month, and then they give you this thing called a trigger shot, and basically tell you when you can do your business to make the trigger shot most effective.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um we got pregnant with my daughter, and um thought that we would have to do fertility treatments to have any more kids.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Turns out that's not the case.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, your body apparently learns how to work after the first time, I guess, and went into the ER with a hernia, what I thought was a hernia.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: And found out That was not a hernia.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Found out that I was pregnant with my little boy.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um about shit a brick.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: About shit a brick.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm laying there, my mom and my sister had literally just left the room to go get something to eat.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it was pretty late at the moment.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was like it was like midnight one morning.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so they left the room to go get something to eat to get a snack, and then all of a sudden the nurse pops her head in and she was like, Um, did you know you were pregnant?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are you effing kidding me?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, not a not a clue.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: None of us even thought that she was pregnant because she had been like, we had known that she had struggled with infertility before and that they weren't trying.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So whenever she told us that she was pregnant, we were like, You're joking.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're joking.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I called my husband on Snapchat so we could do the video, and uh, because I wanted him to see my face because I'd already been asking him to get a vasectomy because my first one was rough.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: We had postpartum, she had colic, it was a horrible experience.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's a great kid, um, no health problems or anything, really healthy all all through that, but she was just colicky and I had horrible postpartum.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking terrible.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was breastfeeding, it was a lot, and um I was actually still breastfeeding, so also thought I couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's everybody knows that's a myth.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't everybody knows that's a myth.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're breastfeeding and you don't think you can get pregnant, you're lying.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And whoever told you that, they're lying.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: You totally can.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: I am proof.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Even after you've dealt with infertility issues.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I wanted my husband to see my face because I'd already been asking him to get a vasectomy because I'm like, I cannot do this again.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: And truth be told, he was not a great co-parent for the first one because it just didn't click for him.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: So called him on the on Snapchat and I was like, I'm effing pregnant.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: He says, No, you're not.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Why would I even lie about that?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't funny.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was one of them jokes that aren't funny, ha ha, they're funny.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: What what the what the fuck?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that pregnancy was terrible.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was literally sick the entire time.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking sick to my stomach, throwing up, up until the point where I shot him out.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm literally, I have a throw-up basin at my face while I'm pushing him out.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you, I mean, you because he was born in November 2021, so you still had the COVID regulations too, didn't you?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, they actually just got lifted.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, because we got to have more than one person in the Yeah, but you couldn't have more than two.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they were still there, but they weren't as yeah crazy like they were during COVID.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that pregnancy was rough.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: I was sick the whole time.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted another girl, found out I was having a boy, never wanted a boy because my nephews are wild.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I did that.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't want to experience that.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So um had a lot of gender disappointment in addition to being so sick and um dealing with prenatal depression.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: So and so had him, the sickness immediately stopped, and I've been in love with that little boy ever since.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: So that's my lengthy story.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Bond isn't so lengthy.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I found out I was pregnant with my first 16 uh with a guy I had been dating for about a year and a half.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I struggled with being a teen parent.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but unlike, and I can say this, unlike majority of the teen parents in my area, besides a few, I know if I know a small amount of really good teen moms in my area, and I stand on that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I graduated early with her, and then I found out I was pregnant with her March of 2023.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: March of 2023, and she was born December of 2023.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll never forget telling my mom.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I had texted my sister, told her over text that I was like, hey, can I talk to you?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Yeah, yeah, like what's going on?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what she thought I was gonna ask her or tell her, but it was not that.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then I sent her a bunch of these baby clothes and I'm like, and she's freaking out.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Granted, she's like my second mom, there's 18 years between us, so she's like freaking out, and I'm freaking out, and she's like, You gotta tell mom.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I ain't telling mom.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Well, I can't know, and mom not know.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So she was like, if you don't tell mom, I'm gonna tell mom.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so then I was like, oh shit.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So then I told my mom the next day.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she was I literally remember I will never forget this day.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: She was folding clothes or putting clothes in the washer.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Mom, I have to talk to you.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was shitting bricks.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was I was shitting bricks.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now she loves my now fiance.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: She loves him.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: His name's Wyatt, he's great.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But she, and you know, she she she really didn't yell.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she wasn't happy.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: She was just like, What the heck are you gonna do?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I had actually went to a prenatal appointment before then, had my first ultrasound, confirmed she was a girl, did all that type of testing.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I had framed an ultrasound picture and given it to her, and that's when she just kind of like the whole thing just kind of set in, and she was still mad, she was still pissed.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love her to death, but she she was gonna whoop my ass.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: If I wasn't pregnant, she was gonna whoop my ass.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, moving on now.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to whoop your ass.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think okay, apparently she also wanted to whoop my ass.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, granted, I would want I wanted to whoop my own ass.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So then I went online, or I had her in December of 2023.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this was whenever there was some type of epid like teen pregnancy epidemic happening.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was one of the first teen moms, not really, but like of my graduating class.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was ashamed to tell anybody I was pregnant.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't even want to do the maternity pictures, I didn't want to baby shower, I was ashamed.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I had always grown up that teen pregnancy was a no-no.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I was terrified.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um my mom didn't make her watch Fifteen Impregnant.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I did watch Teen Mom though.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Which glorifies teen pregnancy.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not really, haven't you seen Janelle?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: They still make all kinds of money.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, she don't.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: She's doing OnlyFans or something now.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we digress.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So um I didn't announce I was pregnant.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I announced it to a small few on Facebook when I was about 20 weeks in July of 2023.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't fully announce it until I posted my maternity pics in November of 2023, and then I had her in December.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: So then she was born, everything was fine.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I got engaged March of 2024 to her dad, and then November 2nd of 2024, I found out I was pregnant again.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nine months postpartum.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I immediately called my mom this time.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: I immediately called her as soon as that test came back.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I immediately called my mom because I wasn't playing this game.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And why I was like, no, maybe you know we should wait.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: And she came and I showed her and she was like, What are you gonna do?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you gonna do?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: The reaction was a little bit better this time.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: She was still pissed, she was still mad.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was 17.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Getting ready to turn 18?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I was 17, pregnant with pregnant with another youngin'.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So then, you know, my pregnancy with him, um physically I was miserable, but I wasn't as miserable as I was mentally with my first one.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Then July 2025, he was born, and he is so sweet.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: He's such a sweet little boy.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I graduated high school early.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know I didn't graduate top of my class.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I didn't graduate no.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't graduate no top of my class, but I did graduate early.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Graduate at the top of my class.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I had a I had a newborn.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: My mama was harder on me than she was on on this one though.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, and so that brings us to now.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: We celebrated my son's first birthday back in July.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: My little girl's gonna turn three in December.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know where the time went.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Her little boy is so soft.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: But he's so sweet.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't let her don't let her hate on my young.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: He is too damn big to be that soft.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: He is in the 97th, 99th percentile for BMI.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: He's a Michelin Michelin man.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: He is, but he is a sweet boy.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Mine is a freaking bean pole.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Bean pole.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Her little boy, her one-year-old, wears the same size and it fits more snugly than my three and a half year old.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Not we're not fat shaming.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just there's nothing to fat shame.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's a healthy little boy who has been on time who has been on time for his milestones and everything.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: He's fine.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: He's healthy.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: He's fine.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's healthy.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody hating an Amy.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Give that boy a steak.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's ready.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's ready.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And he's got his top two teeth finally coming in.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: He is ready.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: He's ready to tear in.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know what they don't tell you about though when you're pregnant?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like things that they don't tell you about with pregnancy?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Lightning crotch.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, I feel like they do.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: What they don't tell you is the cramps in your butthole.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I exp like when I'm on my period, I get cramps in my butthole.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: When I was pregnant, I didn't think I was going to get cramps in my butthole.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: That and Charlie horses in the middle of the night.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'd wake up, my cast would be hurt.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I got a cramp in my butthole.
• 11:54
  unknown: Oh.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I got a cramp in my butthole.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I just have lightning crotch.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: All the butthole cramp women out there while you're pregnant, even if you're not, I feel you.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't know what lightning crotch is, it's when you're sitting there, you're like going down the road, and all of a sudden you get this jab right down your crotch.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I called it lightning crotch because that's what it felt like was a freaking bolt of lightning shooting out of my vagina.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was pretty rough.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was horrible.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's worse with boys because where they're so low.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was worse with my boys.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like every time we go over a bump, I was like, it's terrible.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what's with that.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe it is because there's Rowan carried lower, so it yeah.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I definitely felt it more.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: It felt like he was gonna fall just plum on out.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I definitely felt that way.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And what's so funny is that both of yours were earlier.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like you never went past it with yours or even close, really close to your due date.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was two weeks exactly two weeks early with both of them.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, see, my daughter, she was my first, she came four days after my due date, which thank God she did because she was due on Christmas Eve, and that's a really poopy birthday.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So she's born on the 28th of December, and then my son, he actually came only like five days early.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: He was born on the ninth, he was due on the 14th.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, they tell you a lot of times when you're going to be a first-time mom that most of the time you'll either go to your due date or later.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like I'm expecting this extra two weeks.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: I still got things I gotta do.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like I'm like literally sitting at work when I give birth, when I go into labor with my daughter, and I'm sitting there in work and I'm type, type, typing, and all of a sudden I'm like, that's a contraction.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: And like I didn't really have a lot of what is it, Braxton Hicks?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, see I did.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have well I know you did.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: With my son, I had padromal labor from 32 weeks up until I gave birth.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Ask me how many times I had to go with this heifer to the freaking emergency room.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, it was real contractions.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't now with my daughter, I they say you know, and you'd never know.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know I know a lot of people who didn't know.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I knew.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: They say you know.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, whenever you're laying in that bed, you know.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't know.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: This I had my daughter right before um Wake Forest Baptist started delivering babies again.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: And all the time, and I don't know why, but all the time as a kid, I always wanted to have my baby at Baptist Hospital.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for the longest time, for those who don't know, they didn't deliver babies anymore.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And they just started at the end or like mid-2019.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my husband and I had literally just taken the tour of the facilities the day before, but they were still not accepting like unlike normal deliveries.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was only like scheduled C-sections and things like that that they were taking in at the time.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Not the spontaneous labor.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I knew that they were technically open, just not open open.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I sat here in my house just waiting on the contractions to pretty much get unbearable until I could go in, and then mainly with the intent of I wanted to be there and them not be able to send me home.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like literally just heaving and hoeing here at the house, and my husband's finally like, I really think that we need to go.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so we go, I'm already dilated to a three, so I'm like, yes, they can't send me home.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm progressing pretty quickly.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: So get to have my baby there, but I'm in a room, they don't even have the supplies in the room at the time.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: So nurses are like literally leaving my room to go get supplies and then bring them into the room because it's brand new.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing in there, they haven't even had a patient in there yet.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um it's a really nice room, very big, yeah.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: And delivery was kind of scary with her because she wasn't tolerating um, so I wanted to do I wanted to have a natural birth.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's that was my mindset, and um really wanted to do it natural.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: I got to a seven and I was like really struggling to like breathe through it.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I really wish I wouldn't have listened to the nurse because it it's I'll tell you later.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: But um, so got dilated to a seven, and then she's like, if you can't sit still, you're not gonna be able to get um the epidural.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: The words were not worded, okay.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um she said, if you can't sit still, you can't get the epidural.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I would suggest if you want it or even thinking about it, you go ahead and get it now.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, Well, crap, like I really can't sit still much longer.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so And they had you in all types of different positions.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh God.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that was after the epidural because my daughter's heart rate kept going up and down.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: She wasn't tolerating the epidural very well.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever had an epidural, you know that like your body's like you don't feel your like your lower half, you don't had me in all kinds of positions.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: And given you're in this hospital gown that is open in the back, and so they have me like rolling over.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on like all fours with my butt straight up in the air.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I can't even feel my legs to be getting in these positions, and here they are having me get doggy style on the hospital bed.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I I'm I was on a peanut.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, all these.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now that peanut ball, I don't that's witchcraft.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is I don't know what I don't know what the deal with that ball is.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Witchcraft.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Witchcraft.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, like that whole experience was wild.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: So many doctors and nurses came into the room whenever I was giving birth to her, and like at first she like she was breathing.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: She was just a little blue, I guess.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was freaking everybody out.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, I'm like sprawled out over there because I had like a minor tear, so they're having to sew me up a little bit, um, trying to like look around these 30 doctors in the room.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I'm gonna make a ton of people.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they like a ton of people.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: So they were making me nervous because why would so many people need to be in there?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then um, of course, my husband freaks out over everything too.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: He's like the biggest worry wart.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And his face was freaking me out because he's worried, because he doesn't even know what to expect.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, things are fine, but everybody's freaking me out.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so then, of course, we know we do our skin on skin on skin, all that good stuff, love latching, what all.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: But with my son, the experience was different.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: So they thought they were gonna have to induce me.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it turns out I was already in active labor when I go in for my induction.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and when they say that second one comes faster, honey.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: But mine didn't.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: So my husband's asleep.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: We don't even want to talk about husbands being asleep while you're in labor because that just pisses you off.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: That didn't I mean why I didn't really sleep though.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I looked out.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: I looked out with the whole nine-yard key.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my husband was asleep while I was in labor.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I wasn't really dilated too far yet, so that's why he went to sleep.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: But the I was starting to get very uncomfortable, and I went and I told the nurse, I was like, I think I'm ready for my epidural, because I had it with my daughter.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't going to give my son a different experience, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: For whatever reason.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: But so I'm like, you need to go get the anesthesiologist.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready for my epidural.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, okay, we'll go get him.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: They walk out of the room, and I kid you not, as soon as the door closes, my husband's barely awake, and it's because my mom is like tapping him because I'm like so uncomfortable and I'm getting ready to get my epidural.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: And the door closes, and I'm like, I have to go poop.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, well, hold on.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, nope.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, hold on, let's let's check and see it, make sure it's not baby, and that you know, you really do have to poop.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, no, like I have to go poop right now.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have to go right the heck now.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, nope, I'm pooping.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm pooping.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Throw up.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Pooping.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh there he was, my little shithead.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: And he, I mean, he came out quick and you tore, and he was only what, four pounds?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I yeah, he was four pounds twelve ounces.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I tore because he came so fast.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking before they went to leave to get the anesthesiologist, I was only to uh like a six and a half, I think they said.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Mom had texted me, um, because he was born like early in the morning.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: Both my kids were, yeah.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: And my son, uh Shepard was born at a weird time, but she had literally texted me, I don't know, it was like I don't know, it was really early.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what time he was born exactly, but it was really early in the morning, and I was watching her daughter because she was only what three?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was sleeping in bed with her daughter, and then like my mom texts me to give me updates, and they're like, Yeah, still no baby yet.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she's not, she's only at like a three, like she's not really progressing, and then no joke, like not even 15 minutes later, he's here.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like he came so freaking fast, and so I didn't get the epidural.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: So keep this in mind.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get the epidural, he came fast, so I had a tear.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a huge tear by any means, but they have to sew that up with local anesthetic only.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: And holy crap.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Fire crotch to a new level.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and for whatever reason they couldn't see well enough because it was like it was a deep, like internal tear.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like more external, it was more internal where you just rushed out.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, so they couldn't really see that well.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So they literally had to wheel me to.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: To an OR room, and I'm sitting there, like my body's in so much pain that I my my legs and everything are just trembling, everything's shaking because they are literally sewing me up internally with local anesthetic.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And the nurse is like holding my hand, she's like, You're doing a good job.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I don't feel like I'm doing a good job.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: It hurts.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, that was my birth experiences.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, you should definitely talk about Adelie's.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: She's coming up my butt.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: So with my daughter, I was actually here.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was staying the night here because my sister, she is local to the Baptist hospital area, and I wanted to have her at Baptist, but it was a whole thing.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: So Christmas week, I decided to just stay here because I didn't know how birth was gonna go.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know if like it would go quick.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: I pretty much made her stay here.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I pretty much basically.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we were on Christmas break at school, so there was no reason for me not to.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I am standing what doors are those called?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: The two doors, the Dutch doors, these doors.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, you guys can't see.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can just call them double doors.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, the double doors that look out to her um the outside.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm standing there and I'm on FaceTime with Wyatt, my baby daddy.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I I'm like, I think I peed my pants.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: I like I think I peed my pants.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I was four days past my or three days past my due date, and I was like, I'm not thinking much of it.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I probably just peed.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: So then I go to bed or I go upstairs on her couch where I'm sleeping, and I feel it again.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, dude, I keep I keep pissing my pants.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know what's going on.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then the contraction started, and I contracted all night, and I'm like, I don't know what, like, I think because it was all back labor.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, whenever they tell you about contractions, they're like, oh, your stomach will get tight, and you'll know, you'll know, you'll know.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, man, my back hurting.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like this shit hurting.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know what's going on, but she hurt in back air.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I had I had I had basically gotten no sleep.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: So then, and I didn't want to wake my sister up because she had already taken me to the ER like three different times.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I had waited, and then everybody had woken up at this point, and I was like, I'm hurting.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: My sister's like, Are you in labor?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I don't know, like I don't know.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: I I I had an idea, but I didn't want to tell her that because I don't want her to be mad and be like, Destiny, I'm not taking you to the ER again.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Even though she would have anyway, because she loves me.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna say I did like 50 million times.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: But and so we get to the we get to the hospital and we go into triage or whatever, and they're like, Yeah, girl, your water broke.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Oh shit, it broke the first time I peed my pants.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so then they were a little worried because your water had been broken for so long.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it had been broken for like two days.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so they were like, Oh shit.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I didn't even know that, girl.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I didn't know.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I just pissed.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: So then they gave you the induction medicine, right?
• 25:16
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: They gave you potosa.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but they whenever they had told me that hey, I was an active labor, I started freaking out because I'm like, oh my god, like I am now 17 and I'm freaking out because like y'all gotta call white, like you gotta call my baby daddy, you gotta call him, and he's at work, and so she's like, We'll call him, we'll call him.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you gotta call my mom.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you gotta call my mom.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't already know this.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just freaking out.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then they get me back there, and I'm progressing really slow.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she is not she was stubborn in there because she's already four days past her due date.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: She was stubborn.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: She was stubborn, and she's still stubborn.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Truth.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, okay, well, we're gonna give you some Pitocin.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really have a birth plan like everybody usually does for my first because I was just kind of like, I'm gonna go with the flow.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: So then they put me on Pitocin.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know Pitocin contractions, but they're terrible.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: They are ten like so bad.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: So then I had gotten the epidural at like three centimeters because I am a wuss.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay and I don't feel bad.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel bad.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: So then I was like a whole new person after I got this epidural.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, hi guys.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Until until I have progressed from like a like a three and a half to like a nine and a half within like 30 minutes, and I'm like, I was like taking a nap or whatever, and this peanut ball, that witchcraft Satanist peanut ball.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: They had been like, oh well, you know, we're just gonna put this on your legs.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, you know, whatever.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I like to sleep like that anyway.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's some shit.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's some shit.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so then I'm like, guys, guys, I I gotta I gotta poop.
• 26:56
  unknown: I gotta poop.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's coming out of my butt.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody's like, no, she's not.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have this on video, by the way.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, it was terrible.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: The pregnancy.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: She's looking over at me and she's like, she's coming out of my butt.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was I she was coming.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was coming out of my butt.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: So then I had had her and she was a whopping eight pounds and like 21 inches.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: She was a big old big old girl, and then you know, everything was fine.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I had chosen to breastfeed.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not for me.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Breastfeeding's a lot of work.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and anybody who can do it successfully, good for you.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot of work.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like hands down, fed his best or whatever, but hands down out to all you successfully breastfeeding moms.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I couldn't do it.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: I breastfed both of mine.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: And my my first, she freaking was on the tit for like three years.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't think she was gonna come off.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I was gonna have to put my booby through that fence at the school and give her her her milk.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: But my son, who I thought would have a pretty similar journey um since they say that boys are like mama's boys.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, he is.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: But we also had given him like sugar-free sweet tea, so don't come at me.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: It was sugar-free.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it was.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: But um we let him have that sometimes, occasionally, just like, you know, through the straw, give him a little sip, whatever.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I am totally by the whole standard of I know when my baby's ready for other things.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need somebody else to tell me when my baby's ready for other things.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: So giving him like Yeah, she's not.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Not me.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: So giving him like little just through the straw, you know, put your finger on top of the straw and then give him a little drop of it.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: And apparently he liked sweet tea more than he liked my milk.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: So he weaned at like nine months, which is fine, because then he could he was getting like regular milk and stuff after that too, which everybody says a year old.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know your baby's.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I went by.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know your baby.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I also have anxiety really bad.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you're a helicopter mom.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: That too, and I am proud to admit I am a helicopter mom.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of a helicopter mom.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm like, don't do this, you're gonna get hurt.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm I to the point where they're not gonna get hurt, but at some point it's F-A-F-O.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they have to F around and find out too.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, continuing with my birth story, but shout out to breastfeeding moms and any mom.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, formula moms, I formula fed my second through and through.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: He thick.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're cool too.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: So then everything was fine, and I was breastfeeding or whatever, and then I had started hemorrhaging.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I was kind of disassociated this entire time.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't really I can't really unfortunately remember a lot from my daughter's birth, but my fiance likes to tell me all the time, this is from his point of view.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm laying there and I'm hemorrhaging, so then the doctor's like, okay, well, you're hemorrhaging, and we gotta do something about it.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, okay, and so I just lean back.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am pale.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was I didn't get color back into my face until she was about two months.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: I looked dead.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: So then she had gloved up, and then when she had gone in, dug whatever in the you needed to do, and pulling out baseball slide size clots.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: And whenever she got out, it was like from elbow to hand, blood.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And he says that that was one of the scariest, like the scariest moments of his life.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I was associated, I didn't care.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, man, this hurts, but I don't I don't even know what's going on.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that was probably the worst part about my birth with her, but that was about it.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then my breastfeeding jerty, it didn't go as good as I wanted it to.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, about four months in, I realized I wasn't producing a lot and she was underweight, and I was dealing with the effects of being a new mom and postpartum and a teen mom because my friends wanted to hang out with me, but I was like, I'm a mom.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can hang out, but not really.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because they were 17 and they didn't really get it, which I can't blame them.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they're 17, I'm Yeah, they shouldn't have to give up their life just because Yeah, and I I didn't expect them to, and you know, that's that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so then I switched to formula, and that was the best decision for me and mine, and she's a healthy almost three-year-old now.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: She thick too.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she does, so that's okay.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: We call her fat back.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: I nope, not we.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Her.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Me and my husband call her fat back, and then her son is FBJ for Fat Back Jr.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: But um, then for my son, I mean I had such a good birthing experience with him.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was induced because his heart rate had plummeted because I had gone in because I was in so much pain.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Y'all have got to do something.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I cannot go home in this much pain.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, okay, well, we're probably gonna send you home.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then they went to go get my discharge papers while I was still being monitored, and then whoo, his heart rate had flung down to like the 20s, and he was sitting at like 155.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: So then they're like, hey, good news, bad news, you're not going home, and we're gonna induce ya, but he did something really scary.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Oh, well shit.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Here comes the pitocin again, right?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: So then I they were like, you need to eat, because this is what we had went in at like I don't know, 11:30, and was they literally like started my induction at midnight, and so they gave me the something it was to soften my cervix.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that was the pill in the vagina or yeah, that's what it was.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I hated that.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it didn't really like affect me that bad, but I hated that.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was just kind of weird, and I hadn't really felt anything, and it was about four the next morning, and I had kind of slept, and Wyatt had slept because I mean there was nothing going on, so I was like, you go ahead and sleep.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: So then around the next day, around y'all came what, around 10.30 the next day?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: So her and my mom came in around 10.30 the next day.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's when stuff kind of started getting, you know, moving and whatnot.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was supposed to have Botox that day.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: I had to cancel my Botox appointment.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Wahom.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because it kept going back and forth about if he was coming or if he was or Yeah, was he coming or not?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and how long was it gonna be?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Is what we were wondering.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, babies and their unpredictableness, but they kept giving me those answers.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't know.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so they're like, it could be like another two hours.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, well, cool, my Botox appointment's like and they're like, he could come the next 30 minutes, don't do anything.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm like, dude.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: So like she's literally getting ready to push, and I have to call my Botox appointment, and I'm like, I'm so like, please don't charge me for canceling this last minute.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I promise you, my sister is literally actively pushing out a baby right now.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta go.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and um, so I had gotten the epidural around two centimeters because I do the foley balloon, and I don't know if anybody you never had the foley balloon.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nope.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look that up, just look it up.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that wasn't a really good experience.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I had Ivy pay medicine, and then I decided to get my epidural after.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean I was it was pretty good, and then I got to sleep or whatnot, and I literally slept up until I had them.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was just asleep that entire time.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: This hoe bag kept hitting that epidural button thing over and over again.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was time to push, and then I started moving my legs, and just like how we said, when you have the epidural, you're not supposed to be able to move your legs because they're supposed to be numb and they're not supposed to be moving.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: You can still move them, you just don't usually feel them move.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: No, I could feel them move.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like they were moving.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's trying to say her epidural didn't work.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because it didn't the bag, granted, the bag was bone dry, unfortunately.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so bone dry.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not a lick.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, I can feel this.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, he's pushing, he's coming, then I had the whole ring of fire experience.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Ow.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Ow.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, cause if anybody I don't know how people give birth to straight up naturally, like without any actually, it really wasn't that bad.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if I wouldn't have torn, it wouldn't have been that bad.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: But you also weren't in there very long.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if I wouldn't have torn, it wouldn't have been so bad.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: The healing afterwards though was so much easier.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: See, I didn't I tore bare like I I didn't even tear like an inch with my first one.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: I had to get like one stitch.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Told him to put an extra one in there.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: Mom my mom did.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can y'all believe that shit?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: My mom did.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, if you know my mom, you can't.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: My mom did.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: My fiance was like, Tressy.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think she said it when I was in there too.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you probably throw an extra stitch in there.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And she God, and she belly self- and it oh Jesus.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: We gotta stop talking about her though, because she'll get mad at us and not talk to us.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: But she does.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: She tickles herself up and she like belly laughs.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: She thinks she's the funniest person on the planet.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not even something funny.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be like, why'd the chicken cross already cross the other side?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like about to cry over your laugh.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Are you okay?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's not that funny.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_01: Breathe.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: So then uh I didn't tear with him.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: They just had to use the like surgical glue or her.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't tear with him.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: Luckily.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because he had a big old boy.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, he was only I mean, he was only seven pounds eight ounces, only like 19 inches.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta put in perspective that my kids were like, Yeah, I had I had the biggest babies out of our immediate family, out of mom, out of you.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I mean, you and Justin were twins, and then I was seven pounds seven ounces.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and my kiddos were like four pounders, which I was a four-pounder.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: I I I was a twin, but still I was the four-pounder.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: My my son's actually the exact same weight birth weight that I was.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I g I gave birth some some bigger babies.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, you know what else they don't warn you really about that sucks about birth?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever they're pushing the placenta out.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, they warn you, but you don't like I don't think you comprehend.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I I knew that it was gonna happen.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't really I mean I didn't really bleed a lot after Shepard.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had worn depins for the I love me some.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: I literally just recommended that to one of my pregnant friends who was set to give birth in October.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love that diaper.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god, I love that diaper.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's better than a freaking pad.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yes.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was only in them in the hospital.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the hospitals around here, if you're in the Winston-Salem area, do not provide depends.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: They provide that mesh underwear in a pad.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's not no.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: Don't nobody look cute in no damn mesh panties.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a one-size-fits-all.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I I'm a big hus, okay.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's one size fits all mesh panties.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, how are you gonna tell me that some 60-pound heifer is gonna panties is gonna fit on me too?
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: I thick.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I big.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so I was in I was only in DePins for a couple of days and then I kind of had stopped bleeding.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: You only wore the pins for a couple of days?
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: With Shepherd, yes, with Adder that living in until she's about two months old.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: Same.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: They were they were so comfortable and you don't have to worry about like because K-1.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: Throw them away.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now they're awkward in that trash can.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: They are them little them little bathroom trash can.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, that's so embarrassing.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: They're so awkward.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're like, well, right there's my diaper.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, every time somebody would come and visit, I'd have to hide that shit because I ain't hiding it.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, who's coming who's coming to visit you?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: You can see in my physique that I have a diaper on.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, not really.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Those are actually pretty discreet.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: And funny story, they're called discreet.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: Are they?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think they're always discreet.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's the ones that I got for me and for you.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because that was what I gifted her.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Was diapers.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're freaking awesome.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they are pretty good.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: I actually, yeah, like I said, I just recommended one of my friends who are set to give birth in a few months.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Cause she was like, Do I need those?
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Yeah.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you need them.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Man, they're nice.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're so good.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I love them so bad.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: So when I get old and I have to wear those later, like I ain't even want to be that mad about them.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're cute.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like the ones, they were pink and they had like a purple bow.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: And they had like some that had like little lace looking things on the top.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, I ain't wearing no damn lacy diaper.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: That ain't happening.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because you ain't you ain't supposed to be getting a hanky panky until over six weeks after.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how people do that shit.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then they have Irish twins.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know the other story.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: So remember, guys, the the hospital didn't have everything in the room like they were supposed to.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: So when I had my daughter, I had a small tear, too, and they stitched it up, right?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I kid you not, like I this is pretty gross, but I stuck my finger up there and I up where?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know where.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: I felt something hard, like poking me hard.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was like fishing twine.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was like the Did you tell me about this?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, maybe not.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was 12.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was like the it was the suture stuff, but instead of it absorbing into your body like it was supposed to, mine like rejected it.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: So like this thing had been poking me in and I kept feeling it, like when I'd roll over and and stuff like that.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: Check yourself.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like I don't know how else to explain that.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: It it just it didn't absorb like it was supposed to, and I kept feeling something poking, and I'm like, well, I just can't keep feeling uncomfortable.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, they don't give you a checkup until what six weeks?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, and then they expect you to go to the doctor's office with a baby.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm like, I can't wait six weeks with whatever the hell's poking me up in there.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to go fishing for it.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: Fishing for it.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think this is that kind of show.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I don't think that this is that kind of show, personally.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's as gory as it gets, I guess.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean Well, I I don't really think it's about the gore.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's about you fishing in your vagina.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of crazy.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of crazy.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: What was I supposed to do?
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: Leave it in there for six weeks until the doctor?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Or schedule you a doctor's appointment.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, I didn't want to go to the doctor.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: I remember I had postpartum so bad.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And my daughter didn't latch very good.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: She had latch problems, which shout out to Wake Forest Baptist lactation support.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: Their lactation support is Chef's kiss.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because I had issues with my daughter latching, and they came up to my room like four different times to help me get her on there.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, lactation support even comes to the because whenever I was formula only um with my son, they still came up and was like, I forgot.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: They were just like, okay, well, this is the kind of milk, and you know, this is how their latch should look on a bottle.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like they were really good.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um and also one thing they really helped with too was um, so both my kids were like lower percentile, they've always been like under 10 percentile, probably under five percentile, they're smaller for their age.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um the my doctors kept telling me, like, kept trying to um encourage me to supplement with formula, and I'm like, they're eating, they're it's fine.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, Yeah, but you don't know how much milk they're actually getting when you're breastfeeding, unless you're doing it from the bottle.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, they're really fine.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think my babies are just small, they're eating fine, they're not fussy as far as like being hungry.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so the lactation support helped with weighted feeds for me and helped me really just have confidence in myself that I was giving them enough um milk and nourishment from my body.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I had to do weighted feeds like three different times with my daughter just to prove essentially that she's getting enough.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, well, I had noticed 'cause my daughter she was I mean, she was never a small baby.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: She was um eight pounds at birth, you know, the twenty one inches.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I had breastfed, but I like she wasn't maintaining a solid weight.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like she was like ship losing weight.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: So and I didn't do the weighted feeds or whatever.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I I had pumping just wasn't working.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what's so funny is I literally had to go out and make my fiance buy like a hand pump with my son because I was producing so much and I still have like half a freezer full of milk right now.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: But it kept hurting his belly.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so we just we just did the whole formula thing.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh dude, I had to give up dairy for like six months because my daughter was like and I don't want to really say lactose intolerant because she's not now, but like it was really hurting her belly.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was like she was like sensitive to it.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I had to give up dairy for six months.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like the first three months of breastfeeding, I which it is still breastfeeding, I was having to use a pump because she obviously was having latch issues, but I was still very dedicated to my breastfeeding journey.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then I found out, and all this with freaking postpartum and a colic baby too, and then she had um what do they call it?
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_01: Witch an hour.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: I really had that, and I had the Sunset Scaries.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_01: Umiccom is like the best thing ever invented for any baby at all.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: You can find it on Amazon.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um and at Walgreens.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: But no, yeah, now I bought mine from Walgreens.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: And Walgreens.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but Coliccom is like one of the best products that I will I will recommend that product to any mom ever for the rest of my life now because I don't care if they're gassy, if they're colicky, whatever it is, it's like it just soothes them.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: And all it is is like an activated charcoal.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's all natural, completely healthy.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: So just be careful if you do use it to not get it on clothes because it absolutely will stain.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: But oh my god, it is a freaking godsend.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: It is so good.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: I would recommend that to anybody because that's the only thing that got us through raising our daughter because the colic witching hour, so every single night at like seven o'clock to nine o'clock p.m., my husband would literally have to put her in his little infant carrier and pace the hallway.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm surprised we still have Florin upstairs because he paced that hallway every single night for like two hours.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if he she would like doze off a little bit, so he would like try to ease down, sit down, and as soon as his butt hit the seat, she was back out.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: He's also a he's also a a big man.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: He's not that big.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, during this he was.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: No, he w he's the same size now.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shit.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Derek, listen, I know that you're watching this and I love you, and I'm not calling you a a huge man.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: How are you gonna sit here and call my man you?
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on, uh uh.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just sit here and disrespect my man.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: He is a burlier man though.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: He's broad.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's a really burlier, he had a long beard, he was a burlier man.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sitting here calling him a fatty because I don't body shame as a fellow fatty.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: But he was a burlier man.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as his butt would hit the ground or hit the hit the couch, and he wasn't wake up.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: He is not as he is not as soft.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um bull on the china shop.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, yes.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, he had to do that, and thank God for him for that part because like I as I mentioned earlier, he wasn't an awesome co-parent, but again, he's a new dad.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I'm not very good at vocalizing what it is that I need.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's something I feel like should have just came to your brain.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: And some dads, like like, you know, my child my children's dad, it did.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: It came to him completely naturally.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really have to ask him to do anything.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: He complained about it and he did with an attitude, but he still did it.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like the baby's crying, and I'm over here on the pump.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're sitting there.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: The get up and get the freaking baby that's crying, dude.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was I was uh about 12 and a half whenever her daughter was born.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I helped.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say thank God for COVID, but thank God for COVID because that gave me my sister here to help with Reagan, which is probably the only thing that saved me from driving off a freaking pilot mountain.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I I usually helped more than more than Derek, but I think that was just kind of a woman thing, and um Well, and you could see that I was struggling too.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: But and so understatement.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I was having all of this gender um disappointment when I was pregnant with my son, my mom literally just laid it out flat for my husband.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, she's like, dude, you kinda sucked.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Your wife thinks you kinda sucked.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: You did kinda suck.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: You're really, really, really gonna have to step it up this time.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: And he did.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: He did.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he did tremendously.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like completely different.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: He loves the kids.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: He loved our daughter.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_01: He was a great dad.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: He was just kind of clueless.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he uh he's just and I've and I've seen a lot, especially with the millennial men.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: Nope.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: With the millennial men, um, they it's like they w it's like they want to help, but they just nothing's clicking.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm and they pretty much need to be told what what it is that you need or want from them or what should they should already intuitively know.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: And but he is a com he changed completely whenever we had our son.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he is Which that was a very I mean, that was just a very hard time for kind of everybody in the family because you were dealing with prenatal depression and then gender disappointment, and then you were kind of miserable, and nobody was on your side besides me.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was about 15.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was a freshman in high school at the time.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was getting crap from literally everybody.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um except me.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was giving me crap.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, of course, my husband didn't want to talk to me about the pregnancy uh because he knew I was already upset.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um and just really miserable.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was it was a really I mean it was a really divided time within everybody.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: My in-laws were not very supportive.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, the really the only person that was really there for you was me.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I was 15 and hadn't never had a baby.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was there whenever her daughter was born and everything, but I just I mean, I didn't necessarily know how to help, I just knew how to listen.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so she was telling me how she felt, and then I was like, I I mean I was sick, I was miserable, I hurt everywhere, and then I really wanted a girl, and I had no I felt like I was all alone.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like nobody, nobody has ever felt this way before.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody gets it.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Especially whenever even like and like yes, I was very blessed to have been pregnant, and I knew that.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the part that I struggle with the most because I knew I was blessed.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have friends who deal with infertility, um, to the point where they're probably never gonna have kids unless they adopt.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: I we thought we would be that way.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we tried for six years, and then it's like I had nobody to talk to.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't feel like I could relate to anybody.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know if I didn't think anybody else had probably ever felt this way before.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I I guess I just say that to say, like, if you have those feelings, you're not alone.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're valid, you are allowed to feel that way.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to feel blessed and to love your child.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_00: Even even postpartum, um, I experienced prenatal depression with my daughter because I was lost at a as a teen.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, whenever you're pregnant and you just you feel guilty because when you're in like a really just down, you know that your baby feels that way too, and then that makes you 10 times worse.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: But to everybody out there who's feeling that way, you're not alone.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: People hear you, and that's what this podcast is about.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom says to this day, so my son is like a stage 35 clinker.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he loves me.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_01: I tell my husband all the time, my son loves me more than my husband does.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, the freaking sun rises and sets on my hind end.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: And uh my mom says all the time, it's because you hated him so much while you were pregnant.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: That was a pretty good impression.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just like her.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh, oh, I don't want my son to love me this much.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, darn.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Wink wink.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I never hated him.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was just very disappointed.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we even just yeah, I mean, it was uh it was you were it was you.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: We even had a scare where I we thought we were miscarrying because I I have had a miscarriage one other time before.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I mean it was just a gruesome scene.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: I won't go into details, yeah.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: But so we were pretty certain that we were losing him, and then we go to the doctor and they tell us that everything's fine.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I mean while we're sitting there, like I'm praying, my husband's praying, because even though I didn't want a boy, I loved You wanted to make sure he's okay.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love this baby.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to protect, and I didn't want anything bad to happen to this baby just because I didn't want a boy.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, um when it obviously my son was uh surprised I got pregnant nine months postpartum.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you know, we had something like that at his first ultrasound, it was like six weeks, we had discovered that I had a subchronic hemorrhage or yeah, that yeah, I guess um where it was some type of I don't know, it's like some type of pocket of blood or something.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't I truly don't even know.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_00: But there was um we I was about ten weeks pregnant with him and you know he was a surprise.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: These boys.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_00: I swear and um I had started bleeding really heavily and I like I don't I don't know when it became so normal, I guess to say, like when people bleed while pregnant.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I used to think that that was like immediate panic, but then I was just like, oh well it happens.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: Does it?
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I like, and that's one thing that nobody ever didn't.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because I didn't really bleed a lot.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I bled like a lot.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it was just that subconscious.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, like I was always told that if you were bleeding while you were pregnant, it was an emergency.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_00: But then you go in, they're like, oh, you know, it's not a big thing.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because they've seen everything.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know that it's necessarily normal, but they're not gonna make you feel like they're not gonna put you in a panic.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_01: They don't want you to stress you're pregnant.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're bleeding while pregnant.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're automatically stressed.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: But they're gonna try to calm you down because they don't wanna make you panic.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you know, he was okay and the subchronic camera would end up clearing up before the 20-week ultrasound, which was a blessing, because if they'd said that it didn't, then I don't even they didn't even go into detail what would happen, it just wouldn't be good.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_00: So luckily that happened and it all played out perfectly.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_00: But now we've got twenty million children running around.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: I swear I can barely keep up with them.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can't keep up with them.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is being a mom's a lot of work.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is, it's a lot of emotion.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_01: Gotta love 'em.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a stay-at-home mom.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's a working mom.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I work a full-time job.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have a small business.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to Hammer and Stein.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'm also a mom too.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I I feel like that's really hard and something that a lot of people don't talk about.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we'll probably end up having a podcast of the differences between the two at a different time.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's a lot.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot to just work and be a mom.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like the world is not made for working moms.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's barely, and but you can't be a stay-at-home mom because then financially, yeah.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna buy?
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna raise them.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, I get it.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's stay-at-home mom.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so we had already got into the life that we're I mean, we were already pretty much setting our bills when we had kids because in our house to do daycare.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_00: Daycare is crazy right now.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: Daycare, I spend more in daycare a month than I think my mortgage is.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know that for a fact.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, yes.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know that for a fact.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I spend more on daycare than I do on my mortgage.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: Which is ridiculous, and that should change.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we should probably wrap this up because this is about an hour in.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um We love all moms.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_00: Stay-at-home moms, working moms, moms who are struggling mentally, sh moms who are struggling physically, uh, people who aren't moms too, women who choose not to be moms, go you.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're still very important.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: Women who wanted to be moms, but they never got the opportunity.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_01: Just know that we feel you there.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: Dog moms, cat moms, and moms don't matter.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes them fur babies are just as much freaking work as a real one.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: That ain't no I I don't, yeah.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh people when people get puppies when they have a newborn, I don't know how you do it.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then you got some that got all them medical problems like Ta Ty.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: Mm.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out Ta.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is our cousin's dog.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um that Shout out Ta.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_00: He got out Tao.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: He is a just a hateful little old man, but he is so He is a hateful old man.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want to love on him, but he wouldn't maul my face off.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, no.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_00: He's a Yorkie.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know, you know.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: But alright, yes.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh find us wherever you listen to your podcasts, all social medias, including Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, on YouTube too.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're on YouTube.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you can, for our audio listeners, that's where you can find us actually talking to a camera instead of just talking in your ear.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, both are fine.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you can find us on YouTube, anywhere you listen to your podcasts, and all social medias.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: Send us your crazy stories.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, the am I the asshole stories hour.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um Or just anything.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean anything you want us to go out.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_01: Ask us questions.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can remain anonymous or we can we can put you out there.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our email Sarah from West Virginia.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_00: Our email is on the screen for the audio listeners.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is shitmomsay podcast at gmail.com.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so and we'll catch you we will catch you guys next week.
• 58:57
  SPEAKER_00: This was such a good first episode.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: We're so glad it that you sat here and joined us and talked with us and listened, especially.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: We want to feel like you're here with us sitting right there with our ring light, giving us a thumbs up.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this is Shit Mom Stay, and we'll catch you guys next week.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_01: See ya.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.