Latest / HEY, AMBITIOUS / 33. Ambition Was Never The Problem: Why I created Hey Ambitious™

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33. Ambition Was Never The Problem: Why I created Hey Ambitious™ · HEY, AMBITIOUS

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey ambitious.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: That feels really good to say.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hey ambitious.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you'll probably notice something has changed.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: New name, new look, new energy.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we have 500 podcast downloads.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for you being here with me in my expansion and evolution, listening to my tips and wisdom, and my intention is always for you to take that into the world and play and practice and experiment with all of that so that you can create and live your dream life now.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, this new name, new look, new energy.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, it's all happening because of you and because of me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you why.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Strangely enough, it came from realization I've been having about my own life, my work, and the woman I've worked with for years.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that realization is this.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Ambition was never the problem.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think for a while I was almost trying to solve ambition.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: How do we slow down?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: How do we stop doing so much?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: How do we stop wanting the next thing?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: How do we finally become satisfied with where we are?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, of course, there are conversations we absolutely need to have about overworking and pressure and proving and uh inability to sit still sometimes.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Can you relate to that?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I know that woman very well.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: But the deeper I went into this work, the more I realized.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't actually want ambitious women to want less.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want me to want less.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I love wanting, I love desiring, I love ideas, I love creating.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I love imagining something that does not exist yet and wondering, could I make that real?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love experiencing life.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love expanding.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't believe there is anything wrong with that.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I believe we're here to create.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as we expand, the world around us expands.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So wanting more is not something we're apologizing for here.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the question I've become obsessed with is no longer, why do you want more?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what is fueling the wanting?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: What is fueling your ambition?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because those are two completely different conversations.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: When not enough fuels ambition, that is a version of ambition that says, I need to become more so I can finally be enough.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Ew.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I contract as I say it.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know that one.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you do too.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And let me know.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Send me a message.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It does not necessarily sound like I'm not enough, right?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's much more sophisticated than that.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like I should be further along by now.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I need to figure this out.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I need to make more money.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I need to get this right.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be more disciplined.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be, I need to, I need, I need to be.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And why isn't this working yet?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is where all of our beautiful protective patterns start getting involved.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: The perfectionist says, if I can get it exactly right, I'll be safe.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: The controller says, tell me exactly how this is going to happen, then I'll go for it.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: The overachiever says, give me another goal so I feel worthy.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: The overgiver says, let me make sure everybody else is okay, so that I will also receive some love.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: The performer says, Let me show you how capable I am, let me prove myself.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: The doer says, just give me something to do, and I'll make it happen.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I know I'm enough.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And none of these parts are bad.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Many of them probably helped us because the women we are today.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: They helped us build businesses, lead teams, raise families, move countries, create careers, make money, survive incredibly difficult things.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure got us somewhere.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I have no interest in shaming it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: But there comes a moment when we get to ask, does the fuel that get got me here have to be the fuel that takes me there?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: The expansion is infinite.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: There are still many possibilities exist, and it's up to you to choose them.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: An ambition fueled by insufficiency has an interesting problem that is never really an arrival.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You accomplish something and almost immediately the finish line moves.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's next?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: What else?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: How do I improve this?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Who is ahead of me?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I missing?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: What am I missing?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly the beautiful life you're creating starts feeling like one enormous self-improvement project that never ends.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've definitely lived that life.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want that anymore.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: What if possibility fueled ambition?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been experimenting with another way.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ambition fueled by possibility.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it sounds very different.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't say I need to become more so I can finally be enough.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It says I'm already whole.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there is so much more I want to create, experience, and discover.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Can you feel the difference?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: One creates from deficiency, the other creates from sufficiency.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: One says, something is missing from me, the other says, something wants to move through me.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are the channel and you are the source of all your experiences and creations.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, it's a very different relationship with desire when we move in desire from sufficiency.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your desire does not have to be evidence that your current life is not enough.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe desire is an invitation.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's curiosity.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's life saying, Hey, want to see what's over here?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, want to see what's possible?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Want to see how capable you could be?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you follow your path, your heart, your desire?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's where possibility enters the conversation.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I think curiosity, imagination, experimentation, and playfulness become incredibly powerful.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think with underestimated disqualities, especially as ambitious women, we respect discipline, we respect strategy, we respect hard work, would respect accomplishment, we respect getting things right.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: But curiosity, play, experimentation, imagination, those can sound almost frivolous.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm starting to see them as superpowers.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because curiosity does not require certainty.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: An experiment does not require perfection.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Play does not require you to prove anything.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: An imagination allows you to see something before there is evidence that it can exist.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because logic can only take you from A to B in what's been predictable and known.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Imagination can take you somewhere your evidence cannot.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are creating from the field of potential.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And as we know, all the possibilities exist all at once in the field of potential, and you are potential.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: You hold potential within yourself, and it's infinite.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: This changed something in me.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: This became very personal for me recently.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: For a long time, one of the identities I was trying to work with was I am successful.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And intellectually, I could tell myself that.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Am I successful enough?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the evidence?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: What have I accomplished?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: How much money am I making?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: How does it compare with others?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Success became another test that could potentially fail.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then I changed the identity.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of I am successful, I started saying, I am creative.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: I create, I follow my ideas, I allow myself to be excited about something.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: I make things because I want to see them exist.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes me feel alive.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me feel so connected and in alignment with the source within me and the energy that is pulsing through me and through my creation.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: I become a contribution.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Something shifted.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I started following ideas instead of evaluating them.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I started creating things because they felt exciting, not because I could guarantee they would be successful.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: One idea led to another.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Podcast, experiments, experiences, journals, products, conversations, all of that is in the works.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I love it.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: I used to sit on the outskirts and observe all the other creators creating, and I was always wondering how do they have time?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: How do these ideas come to them?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And now I understand.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you connect with the source of who you are, and you're not searching for anything outside of you to fill in the gap, perceived gap, everything is literally within you.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I create now things I haven't even figured out yet, but they in the creation.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And somewhere in that creative flow, hey ambitious was born.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not because I sat down and said, okay, I need the most successful brand.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let's develop a strategy.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: It came because I gave myself permission to follow what was alive.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that has become part of the experiment itself.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that allowed me to connect many dots that I've been playing around, and they felt so like separate and not connected.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: But hey, ambitious connected all of it.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And also you, ambitious one.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening, celebrate your desires, celebrate your ambitions, and let's bring more into the world.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And now the nervous system conversation I want to have, because there's a lot of talk out there.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I see now.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I spend a lot of time studying the nervous system, and it's been very helpful.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps there is another piece of this that I think is really important around the nervous system.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, we talk a lot about nervous system regulation.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I believe deeply in nervous system work, but I want to explore it from a slightly different angle here.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want regulation to become another prerequisite for living, creating, desiring.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: First I have to be completely regulated, then I create.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Then I can take the risk.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then I can be visible.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then I can want more.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because that can become another version of I need to fix myself before I can live my life.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm much more interested in expanding a capacity.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Can I be with uncertainty without immediately needing to control it?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, controller.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can I try something without knowing whether it will work?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, perfectionist?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Can I experience disappointment without making it mean I should not have tried it?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's not for me?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Can I be excited without immediately preparing myself for something to go wrong?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Can I let something be playful?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, serious and successful?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Can I let myself want something without demanding a five-step plan for how I'm going to get it?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's expansion to me.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's being in your power, that's being consciously creating and following your heart, your joy.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not becoming fearless, not becoming perfectly regulated, not becoming some optimized version of yourself, not becoming absolutely clear about everything, but becoming more available to life.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling alive, following your desires, and creating it in the way that feels exciting to you.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Expansion is not becoming more.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe this is one of the biggest shifts behind all of my work now.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Expansion is not about becoming more, it's about becoming available to more.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: More of your imagination, more of your curiosity, more of your creativity, more of your desires, more ways of leading, more ways of creating, more experiences, more impact, more possibilities than the ones your history taught you to predict.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because when a woman expands, I don't think it ends with her.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Her world expands with her.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen that many times.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: The way she leads change, the way she creates changes, the conversations she has change, her relationship can change, her children see something different, her clients experience something different, her community gets access to something that didn't exist before.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: She creates something that was not here until she decided to create it.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe another woman sees her doing it and thinks, wait, maybe that's possible for me too.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's why creation to me has become so much bigger than success.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Creation is contribution for me, for you, for us.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the world I'm building now.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, ambitious.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, there will still be intimate work.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: There will be rooms where we go deep, but I'm increasingly interested in creating experiential playgrounds for ambitious women.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Places to explore, experiment, experience, to get curious, to play with identity, to challenge predictions, to use imagination, to discover desires we may have edited before we ever allowed ourselves to experience them.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: To build the capacity to be in uncertainty without immediately turning it into a problem.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: To practice creating from possibility instead of pressure.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want to give ambitious women another system for getting themselves right.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want to create spaces where we can discover who am I when I am no longer making myself the problem?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what might I create from that place?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's expansion leadership.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's how ambitious.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we're just getting started.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to give you a possibility experiment.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to finish this episode with more information.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know you already know a lot.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: You are a very smart and intelligent woman.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to notice something.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about something you want right now, something you're creating, something you are reaching toward, something you want to experience.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Don't analyze the desire.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't make it more reasonable.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Don't figure out the strategy yet.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just notice it and ask, what's fueling my wanting?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is there an energy underneath it that says, when I have this, then I'll finally be enough.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'll be successful, then I'll prove something, then I'll feel safe, then I'll be somebody.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't judge that.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just see it.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then try on another possibility.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm already whole?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: What would I want from there?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: What would I create because creating feels alive?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: What would I experience simply because I'm here and I get to experience this life?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: What would I explore if I didn't need to know where it was going?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And here is one I really want you to sit with.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if your desire is not asking you to become someone better?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's inviting you to discover more of who you already are?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: You are potential, freedom, possibilities, love, creation, and creator.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, what becomes possible when you stop using pressure as the price of admission for expansion?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Don't rush to answer.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself wonder.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what we are going to do here.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to explore, we're going to experiment, we're going to experience, we're going to create.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to ask questions that our predictable minds do not necessarily know how to answer yet.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to find out what happens when ambitious women stop apologizing for wanting more instead of becoming curious about what's possible.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Ambitious.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the world of ambition and expansion.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's explain what's possible and have fun along the way.