Latest / Mental Health and the Mission of the Church / 8-Minute MindShift Wk 11
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: Good morning.
- 0:01SPEAKER_00: How are you guys doing?
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: I hope you're having a good week.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Enjoying the beginning of fall or heading toward fall.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: Enjoying it and all that good stuff.
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: As always, we're talking about what keeps us from the life that God wants for us, what keeps us from the life that we want, what keeps us from building and enjoying the relationships.
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: And gosh, I love talking about this stuff.
- 0:25SPEAKER_00: I hope you are enjoying listening to it.
- 0:28SPEAKER_00: So last week I ended by giving you four things that will help you just kind of get your life from the inside out, your inner life working in such a way to help you build around you the life that you want.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: And the four things were number one, own your emotions.
- 0:46SPEAKER_00: And what I'm hoping to do as we go forward is just do a one week on each of these, and then later we'll go into great depth with a lot of them.
- 0:56SPEAKER_00: So number one, own your emotions.
- 0:58SPEAKER_00: Number two, don't let the ants, ANT apostrophe S, ruin your picnic.
- 1:04SPEAKER_00: Ants are automatic negative thoughts.
- 1:06SPEAKER_00: Don't let the ants ruin your picnic.
- 1:09SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk about that a good bit, of course.
- 1:11SPEAKER_00: Number three is slow down, slow down regularly, consistently.
- 1:19SPEAKER_00: Quiet yourself on the inside and the outside.
- 1:22SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk about how and why that is so important and the critical part that plays in managing your inner world better so that you make better decisions on the outside.
- 1:37SPEAKER_00: And then the fourth thing is build a support system.
- 1:40SPEAKER_00: In other words, uh this is not a uh an uh a you know one-person sport.
- 1:47SPEAKER_00: This is you're gonna need the healing power of community, you're gonna need the truth, the caring, and uh challenge that comes from walking this stuff out with other people.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: So, what I want to do this morning is talk about own your emotions.
- 2:03SPEAKER_00: Galatians 5.22 says this the fruit of the spirit, the fruit of the spirit.
- 2:09SPEAKER_00: If you think about fruit, like imagine for a minute I'm a tree and I bear fruit.
- 2:15SPEAKER_00: That means that the essential ingredients and process for producing that fruit is inside of me.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: Fruit comes from within.
- 2:24SPEAKER_00: Fruit's not something you put on, it's something that is generated from within.
- 2:29SPEAKER_00: So, what this is saying is, I believe to each one of us, everything you need to produce this fruit, and we're gonna read the list here in a second, everything you need to produce this fruit is inside of you.
- 2:42SPEAKER_00: And again, a lot of my thing is what's blocking it, what's keeping us from experiencing enjoying everything that God has for us.
- 2:51SPEAKER_00: So the scripture says, but the fruit of the Spirit, the the result of the Spirit's work in our life is love, joy, peace, patience.
- 3:02SPEAKER_00: How many of you degree?
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: These are all emotionally anchored or affected or driven concepts: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
- 3:19SPEAKER_00: And it says against such things there is no law.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk a little bit about emotion today.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: I want you to imagine Billy Bob's driving home from work, and uh he's driving home from work and it's not been a good day, you know, and he's thinking about, you know, I you know, I they just don't appreciate me.
- 3:38SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: I I I I knew I wasn't gonna get that promotion, and I don't know why they gave it to Joe, and and he's just kind of he's just kind of got this thing going in his head, and and he's just talking about all this stuff, and he's he's kind of whatever.
- 3:55SPEAKER_00: Well, how do you think he's feeling?
- 3:57SPEAKER_00: Not so great.
- 3:58SPEAKER_00: So he walks in the door of his home, his wife and his kids.
- 4:01SPEAKER_00: Well, is he feeling real great?
- 4:03SPEAKER_00: Is he gonna be like this bundle of joy?
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: No.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: Well, he doesn't know that Mary Lou has planned this nice dinner and she's maybe got an evening planned that that they're just gonna really enjoy each other.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: And he goes over and plops in his his uh recliner, picks up the TV remote, and just starts clicking channels.
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: Next thing you know, she's saying to herself, he is so selfish.
- 4:28SPEAKER_00: He never thinks about anybody else.
- 4:30SPEAKER_00: I you know, I don't I don't even know if he notices that I wore something special for him.
- 4:35SPEAKER_00: Uh I didn't I I you know he ignored the children.
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: So now how's she feeling?
- 4:40SPEAKER_00: Not so great.
- 4:42SPEAKER_00: So they have some interactions, and obviously they don't go well.
- 4:47SPEAKER_00: And next thing you know, he's thinking, you know, I'm not even appreciated at home.
- 4:52SPEAKER_00: I don't think she even cares that I do this, that, or the other.
- 4:56SPEAKER_00: And um so it spirals, right?
- 5:00SPEAKER_00: A lot of this has to do with um the the emotions that are going on inside of them.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: What was he feeling uh during the day when things didn't go well?
- 5:09SPEAKER_00: What was he feeling on his ride home?
- 5:11SPEAKER_00: So what I'm here's what I want to say to you is who ruined their evening?
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: Who ruined their evening?
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: Was it uh the boss?
- 5:22SPEAKER_00: Was it whatever?
- 5:24SPEAKER_00: Or was it themselves?
- 5:29SPEAKER_00: Was it the way they processed, handled, reacted to what happened to them that day?
- 5:37SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk to you about own your emotions.
- 5:41SPEAKER_00: I like to say they're in your circle.
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: I teach on boundaries a lot, and we all live inside this hula hoop, and inside that hula hoop, everything's my responsibility.
- 5:52SPEAKER_00: So imagine the same day, Billy Bob driving home, and same stuff happened, but here's what he says.
- 6:00SPEAKER_00: You know what?
- 6:01SPEAKER_00: I I I'm not sure I'm appreciated around here.
- 6:04SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure they really get me.
- 6:06SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
- 6:08SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna talk to Mary and we're gonna pray, and we're gonna see if God might have another opportunity for me.
- 6:14SPEAKER_00: Because I just feel like I'm not reaching my full potential here.
- 6:17SPEAKER_00: Now, how's he feel walking in the door?
- 6:20SPEAKER_00: How does he it does he feel attracted to or or avoiding of his wife?
- 6:25SPEAKER_00: Now he comes in and he wants to share his day and he wants to talk about it, and he wants, guess what?
- 6:31SPEAKER_00: She's all excited because she was already planning an evening for them together.
- 6:34SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
- 6:35SPEAKER_00: The whole evening goes differently.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: What changed the way they were handling the events of life and the effects they were having on them.
- 6:48SPEAKER_00: So let me give you a couple of quick thoughts.
- 6:50SPEAKER_00: Own your emotions.
- 6:51SPEAKER_00: Number one, reject a victim mindset.
- 6:56SPEAKER_00: A person with a victim mindset says things like this why do they keep doing that to me?
- 7:02SPEAKER_00: Why do they keep doing that to me?
- 7:04SPEAKER_00: A victim always believes their problem is outside of themselves.
- 7:09SPEAKER_00: Now here's the problem.
- 7:10SPEAKER_00: If our problem's outside of ourselves, guess what?
- 7:13SPEAKER_00: We don't feel very empowered to do anything about it.
- 7:16SPEAKER_00: A victim mindset never leads to empowerment.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: Never.
- 7:21SPEAKER_00: It might lead to entitlement people owe me, but it doesn't lead to empowerment.
- 7:28SPEAKER_00: And here's something I've got to say to you now, man.
- 7:31SPEAKER_00: No matter what's going on in your life, no one person, including yourself, is ever 100% responsible for it.
- 7:39SPEAKER_00: And I would go so far as to say this you're at least some percentage responsible for what you feel and how your day goes and how you interact with other people.
- 7:51SPEAKER_00: Now, why is that good news?
- 7:54SPEAKER_00: Because if you're part of the problem, guess what?
- 7:57SPEAKER_00: That makes you automatically part of the solution.
- 8:01SPEAKER_00: So it's important for you to own what you're feeling, and we're gonna be talking over the weeks about how you can learn to name that and manage it better, but the whole thing is it starts with owning it.
- 8:16SPEAKER_00: Let me give you a cool little thought, and we're gonna close with this.
- 8:19SPEAKER_00: Imagine a pond.
- 8:21SPEAKER_00: This cool little pond, and it's real smooth, and everything's like, and that's your emotions, and you're just kind of having a good day.
- 8:28SPEAKER_00: Well, someone or something happens, and it's kind of like either dropping or throwing a rock.
- 8:37SPEAKER_00: This is my little air pods, whatever you call them, and throwing it in the pond.
- 8:42SPEAKER_00: Now, what does it do?
- 8:43SPEAKER_00: It causes ripples in the pond, right?
- 8:45SPEAKER_00: Well, how big are the ripples?
- 8:47SPEAKER_00: Well, that size rock, ripples are probably about that size, right?
- 8:51SPEAKER_00: Well, what if you get this size rock and this size ripple?
- 8:57SPEAKER_00: Here's an important concept.
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: If the ripples, the effect on you and your choices and responses, if the r ripples are bigger than the rock, it's not the rock's fault.
- 9:12SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what I'm getting at, and this leads us into next week.
- 9:16SPEAKER_00: What's happened is you you had an event, an interaction, and then you added your historical reality to it.
- 9:25SPEAKER_00: Well, people always treat me that way, or I'm always lose this, or whatever.
- 9:30SPEAKER_00: And so what happens is the rock was this big, but what you added to it was this big.
- 9:36SPEAKER_00: But you're blaming the rock for all of this.
- 9:40SPEAKER_00: And the rock might be a person, it might be a situation, but here's what I want you to help learn to do.
- 9:46SPEAKER_00: The rock's the rock.
- 9:47SPEAKER_00: And I mean it is what it is, and you know, somebody's gotta take responsibility for that.
- 9:52SPEAKER_00: But your response is managed by you.
- 9:58SPEAKER_00: Meaning, here's the deal.
- 9:59SPEAKER_00: No matter what size rock hits you, you can learn to determine how it affects you and how long that effect lasts and how intense it is.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna talk as we go forward about the key role that your thoughts play.
- 10:15SPEAKER_00: Remember our formula B T F A equals R.
- 10:18SPEAKER_00: What you believe drives what you think, what you think drives what you feel, how you feel drives how you act, and all of that together creates the results you get in life.
- 10:28SPEAKER_00: Looking forward to seeing you again.
- 10:30SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.
- 10:31SPEAKER_00: Bye.