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Excuse My Grandma On Hacking, Cheating in 2025, and Coping with Ghosting · Excuse My Grandma

• 0:00
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• 0:15
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• 0:40
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• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode of Excuse My Grandma. It's Kim and my cohosts. Grandma Gail. Grandma, I am still overwhelmed because I was hacked on Facebook. This is terrible.
• 1:13
  Worst thing ever.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: This was a very bad weekend last week. From Thursday on, there was trauma in our houses.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Yep. Well, without going into every single detail of getting hacked, I just wanna, like, tell people to be extra, extra careful when somebody asks to share your screen on a Zoom, when you get emails that clearly because now AI, like, it seems so human like.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Well, I have to tell you. I had a feeling when we were doing it that if we it wasn't the proper We
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: were on a Zoom with a hacker essentially. A hacker, basically. Said that it was Katie Couric's podcast.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: Correct. And we had gotten all the introductory emails about meeting, and he wanted to go over the format. So that sounded very legit. But when he got on first of he never showed his face on the Yeah.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: There were a lot of red flags.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: We would should have immediately just closed the computer and and not bothered with it. But a few things,
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: like, always look at the email it's coming from because if it's a weird email address or something like learned.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: And we learned. The hard
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: way because
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: we were busy cutting up bank cards and everything else over the weekend.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I just canceled everything. I changed every password.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Because, you know, you really you really they can get your information, and it's it's easier than you think now.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: So Well, apparently, a lot of hackers are masquerading as journalists now. Yeah. And that's like a thing that's happening, especially with creators who they know within their social media, like have their bank accounts linked and things like that.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: No. It's very scary, Kim. No. It We're sending out a warning to everybody. Just be careful.
• 2:45
  Don't share any extra information. If if if it isn't look exactly perfect, just forget about it because it's not perfect.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And listen to your gut because you're right. We kinda knew something was up.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: I'm going like this. I'm going cut, cut, cut. I know. Saying go in the other room. Go in
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: the other room. Like, because I thought you were just being, like, annoying. But you we did. I know.
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Clearly clearly, we we had a problem.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, I feel like parents and grandparents are usually targets of these kind of hacks.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: Certainly would have been me, but I it's I'm lucky because I don't know my passwords. Yeah. They couldn't hack into me because I don't know my passwords. I don't know how to do any of that stuff. So for me, I'm I'm I'm good.
• 3:23
  I'm good to go.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It was actually good because my boyfriend, Zach, was in town. And if he wasn't there to help me, like, put all my settings back to normal and, like, check that I had the two factor on, like, I don't know how to do this stuff.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Well, but you should because you're in the business.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm not intact.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: Well, you're not in tech, but you but you do know enough now. So now you
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: learn your basics, but
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: now we're we're forewarned.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I felt bad because he was only here from LA for, like, two days, and for the first half of the day, I was, like, on my computer, all I have to do is deal with this.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: Well, it was very it was a very big deal. Yeah. Anyway, we we we you rectified it. They were very good at Instagram. They were very good on the other end.
• 4:05
  Everybody sort of worked with with you. Yeah. And it all got cleared up. But it was a scary seventy two hour moment.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Yes. That was base and then the rest of the weekend, I could kinda chill out. I went to Montauk.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: I saw a picture of you with 5,000 other people in Montauk.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Well, went to a bar in Montauk, which I haven't done in so long.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I'm Okay.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Proud of myself. But I went to this place called Montaukken. I had actually never been there before, but they have live music. Then Fun. Usually, there's a super long line, and I've, like, made a pact with myself that I will no longer go to places with long lines and wait in it.
• 4:39
  And, like, I just don't like it, but it looked like it was moving, and it was really only 10 people or something. Okay.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: But then it opened up, there were
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: a million people there. Yeah. They must have got there before us. Right. Because we were there right before sunset, and everyone goes there for sunset.
• 4:53
  And we there Saturday was a beautiful night. It was a little warm. Saturday. Yeah. That was a little warm.
• 4:59
  Yeah. But it was fun.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I went to a great Italian party Saturday night. They had pizza trucks. Oh, cool. And then she did everything along the theme of the Amalfi Drive.
• 5:09
  So she had lemon trees and all kinds of she had what was very cute, she had table set up with place cards, and each place card was a pasta with your name written on it. It was very An actual piece of pasta. An actual piece of pasta. She got, like, a piece of lasagna. No.
• 5:25
  Draw it naturally. I actually can't have a cooked piece of soggy pasta with your name on
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: it. That's so cute.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: No. It was she very well, this particular girl is very cute.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: But would they write it with marker?
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: She did it with with ink. Yeah. Yeah. But she might or might have even been a paintbrush. Whatever was was very nicely done.
• 5:41
  Yeah. And whoever did the calligraphy on the pasta was very nice. I'm gathering it was it was either she or somebody who helps her. But the, the tables were beautiful. She had lemons all over the place and then she had for dessert, she had an ice cream, like a cart and they had all different kinds of gelato.
• 5:58
  You know, people love this stuff.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: It could be a 100 years old. Still, everybody loves an ice cream. And, I did have something on my phone and I forgot to show you. She also had different types of desserts. She had lots of different apple pies and different kinds of pies and she had Jell O.
• 6:13
  And I haven't seen that kind of Jell O since my mother because she had it with the marshmallows in it
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, nobody ate gelatin mold.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: A mold, yes.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: And
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: it was very pretty. I have a picture of it. I mean, we're not gonna reproduce it because it would take eight hours for all the different layers to set and we're not very good at that. Did you
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: know what the theme was before you got there?
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Well, knew she was having the pizza truck, so I gathered it was Italian.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I guess so, yeah.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: And there are certain trucks out in the Hamptons out east that are so delicious and they make the pizza really thin, crispy and then the white pizzas and what do you call it, margaritas. Always good. It's fun. It's fun. So we had a good weekend too and then Sunday night Sunday was very hot again out there Did you stay out?
• 7:01
  I came back Monday morning. How can I stay out? I'm with you. It's too late today.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: No, no, I meant stay out Sunday night and come back. Yes, I did.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: Usually we come back Sunday but we had this very nice lobster dinner out there, and I decided I wanted to stay. So we came back early Monday.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: These are very fancy part. I literally have no parties like this. Well, you're you're probably because we're a little
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: older, we're a little more established.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I guess so.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: And we also are only hanging it's the same people all the time. We just have a different theme. That's cute. They're very good on themes. Yeah.
• 7:33
  Themes are good. We don't we failed the theme test Yeah. With us.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: In your early twenties, you're going to frat parties that are themed. And then there's a break for, like Then you're having babies.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Then you're having babies, and all you're doing is the diaper theme. Yeah. So then then you progress into being a what do you call it? An empty nester, and you become a little more creative. Interesting.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So I guess I'll just save all my theme outfits from college For later. For later. For later. Because I'll still fit into them.
• 8:02
  You'll fit in. Maybe. Yeah. Sunday night, I came back to the city, and I was laughing because I was in the car with mom, dad, my brother, and the dog, Millie. And the That's a treat.
• 8:15
  The five of us haven't been in the car together since, like, I don't know, a while. Like, definitely not
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: at usually all goes out after work himself. Yeah.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Where everyone is kind of on their own schedule. Sometimes I've come out with you guys, and that's its own dynamic and things. Sometimes Yeah. You put them
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: on the video. I've seen that.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Yes. So, yeah. It was just, like, nostalgic because we hadn't all been together in the car sitting in traffic. Sitting in traffic, telling everybody which road to take, I'm sure. Yeah.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah. It's a really and it's really a a sign of patience to go out east, probably even to go to Westchester. Any car rides are Any car rides because there's so much traffic. They keep saying now people are not going to to these, areas. They're all staying in place.
• 9:06
  I don't know where these people are who are reporting this. The roads are bumper to bumper no matter where you are. Coming home from, the island this this past Monday, I mean, I never saw so many cars going back to the city. I don't really get it. It's just a flux.
• 9:21
  People are just going and coming, going and coming, and you get all the deliveries and the workmen, and it's busy. It's busy. Summer is is really a jam filled with cars. Whenever I'm in
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: the car with you and Poppy, you are a big backseat driver.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Well, Poppy likes to look at Waze. He have a stake in Waze. I think I'm gonna give him his birthday. I wonder if they have a stock. I'd like to buy him that stock because he follows that Waze no matter where he is and we go all the time.
• 9:53
  We know the routes ourselves, but he doesn't take his eye off that Waze thing. So and I don't always agree with Waze. I have my own way of going. Yeah.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: Well, there's Apple Maps, Google Maps, Waze, and whether you follow one or another, I know what kind of person you are. And then there's the kind of person who Grandma Waze. Thinks that they know better than any of
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: the GPS. Well, I I like to go a certain way. So if it if the the apps don't show that, I I ignore them, but he likes to do it. And sometimes it's great, and sometimes they can take you on a way of getting to the destination. I guess because they know the traffic flow.
• 10:32
  I don't sometimes know. I'm not sure. But he likes it. So since he's the driver, I have to let him do do his own thing. But I do make comments
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: along the way. For sure make comments. And I feel like when I'm sitting in the back, it's very entertaining just to
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: see know if it's entertaining.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: It honestly is because it's just back and forth. I know. No. You don't know. Now I know.
• 10:52
  No. You don't know. So K. You know? Okay.
• 10:56
  Let's move on to the drama club. We have to talk about the Coldplay situation.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: This is so sad.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: You know what's going on.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: Of course. Unless you're Living under a rock. Under a rock,
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: you
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: would have seen what's going on. Okay. Sort of feel badly for the wife in this circumstance because Which wife? Well, his wife. Yeah.
• 11:19
  Okay. His wife. And she's actually from one of the most outstanding families in Boston. So, I mean, this is a it's really terrible publicity. It's awful.
• 11:30
  And I gather why he had to do this in a concert in with hundreds of thousands of people, and that camera always is swinging around. Right. Was a little strange to me. I'm not sure the whole story is out yet.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Well, I think he's blaming Coldplay too for being like, I didn't consent to be on the jumbos do. On
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: You do consent. When you buy a ticket. I think
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: he does that at all his concerts. But you're so right in that, like, he's not going to a random motel on the side of the road. Like, everyone and their mother likes Coldplay and goes to a Coldplay concert.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: But it's any concert. It's when they when you're at a baseball game
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Or a football game, that camera or the tennis matches, Everybody's always waving on the cameras. So that you've signed your life away once that is. There's no privacy at a at a stadium or or a a field, a baseball or a tennis field.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: It also doesn't make sense because, like, he clearly in a suite or something with other employees.
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: And somebody else from the company knew about this relationship. In HR, which
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: is the most ironic part of
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: it all. Well, was the head of HR.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Right, but they knew, maybe they promoted her for that,
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: for I don't know, I don't know because she is from a very outstanding Bostonian
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: place No, she wasn't there. His wife was not there. No.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: The girlfriend is a Cabot. I don't know what that means. Cabots in the lodges were the most distinguished families in America generations from Boston.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: So you're saying the girlfriend of the Astronomy CEO who works in HR
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: Came from a very outstanding family. Very outstanding family.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: But she's also married. She was.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: She's not married now. She's divorced.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, she's divorced.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: No. She's divorced. And but he's still married. But he's still married. Clearly, was you still know
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: who but his wife isn't from No. I don't know where. Oh, I thought that's what originally.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: No. The friend, the the significant lady other His coworker. His coworker who is canoodling with you.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Yes. His coworker slash girlfriend. Right.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And we're not even sure it's a girlfriend. Maybe he just felt like grabbing her. I mean, that's what I'm saying. I'm not
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: sure the host No. You wouldn't duck like that. Well,
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: because maybe she was embarrassed when the camera came because she shouldn't have been there.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: The whole thing is like, if they hadn't reacted like that, this wouldn't have made worldwide news. Yeah.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: I guess. Maybe. Well, I have to tell you the truth. You know, it's so different. This is 2025.
• 13:48
  This is really a taboo dating somebody in your company. Yeah. We were talking about this couple of girls yesterday around the lunch table and we were saying in the old days, you know, prior to everything being politically correct and whatever you call it, people met at work. Very often, that's where people got married from or worked. It was their first job.
• 14:13
  They usually met people that they were with and they had common interests and they would get together. Law firms, you know, every every possible venue or
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Would you approve of of relationships in the workplace?
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: Because I don't think it's so terrible as long as it's consenting. If somebody is using their their power of being a boss to do something inappropriate and the other party is not going along with it Yeah. Then I don't think it's right. But let's say you fall in love with somebody that you're working with. You're supposed to I guess maybe you're supposed to quit your job or whatever
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: I it think that where it obviously becomes complicated is when you're not the same level Right. And someone has
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: the whole issue.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: The ability to promote you or give you opportunity
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: to be not doing that. Maybe they just really like each other.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Okay. And in that case, I think the rule I'm sure I don't know if every company is different. But I think the rule is, like, you have to just tell HR that there is a relationship going on.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, and then you you could stay? I I mean, I
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: think it depends on the company, but I believe that's how it kinda works. There might be with it can't be, like, CEO and, like I don't know if there's a I don't level
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: there's a hierarchy. I don't I don't know. Whatever it is in this particular case, he hasn't really I read the paper this morning. He hasn't stepped down yet. No.
• 15:28
  He did. No. No. They said he had stepped down, but he has not yet. And this is too this is just the beginning of the whole thing.
• 15:36
  Now I'm sure he will. I think he was gonna hand him his letter ton? Well, I think he's he he created the company. I mean, he's entitled to a tremendous amount of money.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: But there's a like, he can I I think I don't know exactly how this works? They have to buy
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: him out if he's gonna leave.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: He's like a fund funding his company.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Whatever. He he has a contract. He's gonna get plenty of money. Believe me. And the wife is gonna get more.
• 15:59
  I mean, he was one of the founders of
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: this with Astronomer. Like, I had never heard of it, and now it's totally on the board. Well, that's what happened.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: Like, I wonder if they are. Exactly. I don't know. I feel badly for the children of his children who didn't know about this and his wife was blindsided, I feel because I don't think they were separated, I think they were still married, so I think it's a problem. I sort of think that's sad.
• 16:25
  That's why we don't know the whole story. Maybe he was separated already. Then why can't he come out
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: and say that? I don't know. Why is it warranted
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: the interview? Don't think we should really interject our non lawyer expertise into this. Yeah. There there is gonna be plenty of conversation over this.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Here's the question though also. Like, obviously, fifty years ago or whatever you were saying with your talking about with your friend. Right. Also, affairs were probably much easier then because people weren't taking out their phones and, like, filming people
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Well, they potentially. They weren't easier, but they weren't as exposed. Yeah. I mean, you know, you you very often you got caught. That's that was usually you did get caught.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: But maybe in a different way, like not going through their text messages or Yeah.
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: They went through a pocket and found a card or a lipstick or something.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: They're hearing under the car seat.
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: Exactly. Believe me. They were people got caught, but this was just just not only got caught, this was across the screen where millions of people got to see it.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: So it's sort of embarrassing. There's also this, like, thing that is called like a hey girly text where basically if you see a a text or DM pop up on your phone that's like, hey girly, it's like the other woman is reaching out to you saying, I hooked up with your man last night. And that's kind of always how it starts. I don't know. That's the trope.
• 17:50
  That's the thing
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: that's got well, this is going back to our first conversation with the social media and all this stuff on your phone and whatever is very scary to one's personal life. It can intervene in a lot of areas that shouldn't be gone into and privacy privacy is almost zero at this point. So if you don't want it publicized, don't go on your phone. Don't go on social media because it's open. People can get into it, and we've just seen what happened with this in this
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: case. But wait. I don't get it because they weren't on posting on social media about it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: They were social media, they had a
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: camera of of So they were in person. They weren't posting on social media about it. No. Mean, other people posted it on social media?
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: No. I'm just saying a camera was flashing in a stadium with these people on it. That would never have happened fifteen or twenty years ago if they didn't have cameras going around the thing. Then within
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: But that's not social media, it's like their the way that they do the Coldplay concert. The way any concert
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: is done, Kim. But the truth is then people picked it up and started putting it in the paper and like, started her daughter his daughter is doing stuff. I mean, that's too bad. They haven't even settled it yet. That's what I'm saying.
• 19:07
  I just think that it's you have to be very careful with your personal life at
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: this What do you think it was like in the office the next day?
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm sure like a tomb. So awkward. Yeah. Well, who and I'm sure the HR cabin did not go to the office or maybe she did. You know what?
• 19:23
  I haven't got an idea. It's got that. It's a little out of hand.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Could you name one Coldplay song?
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: No. I don't even know
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: who they are. Did you know before this?
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: No. I knew who they are. I know they're a thing, but I don't listen to that music. Yeah.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Okay. The other drama I wanna talk about is Devil Wears Prada two is filming now in New York. I've seen some pictures. Why?
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: The first one was awful.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: It's the best.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: It was so awful.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: Everyone loves that movie. It's like a cult favorite.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: Well, think it's a girls movie of your age. I don't know anybody who likes it who's either
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: older or Girls sleep in Anne Hathaway, who's iconic.
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: Well, they're great. They're great, but the the story itself is just in name.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: But okay. Funny. But this new story is basically that Miranda Priestley, the Anna Wintour character Right. Is navigating the decline of magazines and Which definitely happening. And the Emily Blunt character is like a high powered luxury executive and her, like, rival.
• 20:27
  Okay. But I think it's supposed to come out right before the Met Gala next year.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Are they gonna have another Met Gala?
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Without Anna? I don't even
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: I thought after this year's fiasco, who wants another one? It was so awful.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: I don't I mean, Vogue was so
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: like this. Worst thing I had ever seen. Diana Ross was good, and then she could've turned off the whole thing.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: I like looking at the fact I don't think you need to sit down and watch three hours of livestream, but I like looking at the, like, fashion.
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: They they weren't really they except for a few exceptions, there were always exceptions and I can't generalize. The creativity was really not there. They didn't do justice to Harlem, they didn't do justice to themselves. Most of it was copying each other, I don't know, it looked awful. And I don't really know who's interested in that anymore.
• 21:14
  I I think the world has so many more wonderful things to celebrate. I can't quite Well,
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: how do you celebrate fashion then?
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know. Go to the museum and see the costume institute.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: But that is that is this. They're linked. They are linked, but it, well, it was not a good it was not I think the thing. TV you'd think the award not award show. You need you think that the red carpet needs a shake up.
• 21:39
  Yeah. I think the whole
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: thing needs a shake up. Right. I think the whole thing needs a shake up. I think that's too much about was too much about her and not enough about really beautiful fashion and designers.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Okay. Let's move on to the Grandma Report. The article this week, we have two of them. Tinder, the dating app launched a double dating feature.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: To do what?
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I think it's basically, like, you you and your friend can match with some guy and Okay. His Not a couple, like another friend cup. Okay. Another two friends. And then you could all go out.
• 22:15
  Okay.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: But You can double date.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: You can go on a double date.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: Right. So you're more comfortable.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I get like, that was my question. Like, is it more comfortable to go on, like, with a friend if you're me especially on a first date, if you're meeting a stranger and maybe you're nervous? What? Because I feel like it would be weird.
• 22:31
  Like, I'm I see my friend on a date or, like, what if I don't like the person and they like their person? Or what if
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: they you could always switch? Well and then do you talk
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: about that before with your friend, and are you like
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: You what? This is getting much more complicated than it needs to be. I don't think the idea is terrible. I think it's actually quite nice because somebody who might be nervous to go out might feel better with a wingman. And I do think sometimes you might like the other person better and that works out as well.
• 22:57
  I think dating shouldn't be that difficult. We're making all these dating things much more difficult than they are. Go out, have a drink, have a cup of coffee, and and sit down and talk. You have to talk. If you're not if you're just gonna sit there and do and sit with your girlfriend Right.
• 23:13
  I or your guy friend, then there's no point in doing it. That's the only drawback. Are you going to interchange with the other side?
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: I think if you're going with your friend, it's kinda becomes like a joke or like you're doing it for the plot and then
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I I think I can understand where they're coming from. They have to try it out. Mhmm. I think a lot of these dating apps are going out of fashion, so they're trying to create a little more interest in how they operate and I don't think that's a bad thing.
• 23:42
  I don't think it's terrible.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Because you go on double dates all the time. Yes, and when I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: was dating in college and even after college well, after college, I was already engaged, so I can't say that. But while I was in college, we went on double dates, but not as a first date usually. Usually, it was just a one on one. But you know what? Sometimes you didn't like that one and you liked the friend.
• 24:05
  That's very often the case. Or liking neither, I mean that's fine too. But if if you always always that's
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: a problem. And then he has to pick which one?
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's like you're watching The Bachelor. I guess. It's reality TV on Tinder.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And then what happens if it's the first or second date and you're doing this double date and if
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: Well, you want keep going on the double date final I don't think so. I think it's just the first date. Okay. I think it's to break the ice.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: And then what if they wanna kiss you and your friend is standing there?
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Kim, I don't know. I can't help you on that. I didn't kiss on the first date,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: so
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: I don't know. But that's different now. Now it's a decision of whose bed to go in.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Wait, what do you mean?
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: So many times on a first date, they're hooking up already. Oh, yeah. Being very modern.
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: I'm being very modern, Okay. The other article is people are partying less. Yeah. That's true. So young Americans now spend 70% less time partying compared to 2003.
• 25:09
  Right. And overall, Americans spend about 50 less time attending or hosting social events since 2003. That's surprising to me. Why do
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: you think there's a shift? Funny. Well, first of all, I think young people now are watching their their money because they're a little nervous. Does
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: it cost money to go to a party, though?
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: It costs money to make the party. So, has to make the party and sometimes it costs money to perhaps get a new dress or a new shirt or whatever, a pair of shoes maybe there's a charge when you go in. Many times they charge per person to go to
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: a Yeah. Cover.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Cover of some sort. So I think people are being a little more wary where they're spending their money. They're watching it. And not only that, a lot of them don't have jobs or are nervous about their jobs with all the things with AI and all these other things, complicating things.
• 26:03
  So I think people are being a little more cautious and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: I think also, and the article kinda got into this a little bit, like, there people are on their phones a lot, and that's entertaining them, so they don't feel the need to go out as much.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: Well, that's sort of sad because you're sitting by yourself.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Totally. But I think that's what's happening. People are also more wellness conscious, and they don't wanna be, like, binge drinking as much because they're, you know, there's so much information about Not not drinking too much alcohol anymore. Mhmm. And then work stress and things like that.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: Because when you're starting out, there's a lot of things going on in your brain. Mhmm. Your brain could only cope with so much.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, do we wanna bring partying back, or do you think it's a good trend?
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Well, I never really loved parties, so I can't you know, except for going to college fraternity parties, I never cared about that. I still like the one on one with somebody and and having you know, even if I'm off small party with a couple of couples, that that was fine. I'm not big with a 100 people all drinking till they're sick and and doing nothing.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel the same. And if there is a big party like that, I need at least three business days to mentally prepare myself
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: Or to recover.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: And to recover. I think that's a
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: I think the drinking that amount of things listen. I've I used to love to drink. I don't touch it now because there's so many things, especially for women, that I was saying alcohol really is not so good for you. So, you know, anything you do in moderation is fine. I think the idea of just going to party for the sake of party is ridiculous because you can't afford to do that.
• 27:36
  Can't afford to take time away from work. Can't take if you have a family, you wanna spend some family time. It's really ridiculous. Unnecessary. On the priority list.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: No. But I do think I think it's fun. Having fun and letting off steam is on your part.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: That's fine. So go take a run around the block or maybe just go for a swim with a friend at the beach.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: Well, I also think there's parties and socialization and ways to host that aren't Yeah.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Small. A little more intimate. Yeah. I think a little more intimate goes a long way. And then you also know who your host is and you sit down and talk and you really have a commonality.
• 28:13
  Sometimes these things, after you're in your early twenties, nobody really wants to hang out. Right. It really it gets to be too much.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Okay. Let's do the rewind. So Bachelor in Paradise is back.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Well, good for them.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: And this year, they have the golden bachelors and bachelorettes joining. This is like the ones from past seasons. They're also joining the the younger bachelor and bachelorette contestants on an island. And it's actually been fun to watch that mixed reactions online which I'll get into. But I think for our sakes and purposes talking about the Golden's and like that addition to Paradise, they're being painted as like really fun and wild and like almost that they have more stories and, like, more inhibited fun than the
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: Younger.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: Younger ones.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: How old are we talking about with these golden people? Okay. They're probably really golden, or are they just in their thirties? No. No.
• 29:14
  No. They're, like, sixties
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: to late seventies maybe? Oh my god.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: They're still partying on the beach? They're partying. They're They can't look that good.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: No. But it's fun. It's like a lot they're very spunky, the characters that they chose. Why do you think it's disgusting if you've never watched it?
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: I did watch that original. I did watch that original. See, you know what? I got involved and I really thought it was nice when when I first saw it because I do think life doesn't end at 60 or That's the message. And that is the message.
• 29:43
  But I do think that it's somewhat not real and that you can't really know somebody even in the young one bachelors and things. I mean, you know, it's fun, but you can't really fall in love in that amount of time unless you're Poppy and me. Like I don't Got married in a month.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: Right, so why is it different? Because they're there for like seven weeks.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that it's a little bit strange in front of the cameras. I think it's a little hard to get an authentic relationship out of these things. And if it works, I'm very happy for them, and and I hope it does work because really people do wanna have a second try at love.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: And then, again, they're not like walking away from this be like, getting married. It's like the fact
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: So isn't that the end?
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: On Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelor, they do get engaged. Okay. Well, engaged doesn't mean anything. You can be engaged a lot
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: of times.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Right. So, I mean, on Love Island, it's it's not that. Okay. You don't even have to be boyfriends Okay. Necessarily.
• 30:41
  It's just the getting to know somebody process and, like, fun summer in paradise.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: Okay. My only problem with all these shows is that it it sort of gives a false sense to other people who are watching. I'm always worried about the young people who want to emulate this stuff, and it doesn't really happen, except on, you know, to a very small percentage of people. So everybody should watch these programs. They're fun.
• 31:09
  They're vicarious. You get vicarious thrills. You see different different venues, and it's fun. But don't take it too seriously, if you don't have a love like on Love
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: I also think that, like, you watch all these fantasy, like romance getting murdered. Okay. You love true crime. But I also think you like romance, like, with Oh, yes. Okay.
• 31:29
  So And you have to give faith to the viewers that, like, they're not watching being, if I go on vacation, this will happen to me. Like,
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: I think No. But that's different. The ones they what do you call
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Reality
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: versus Reality versus Scripted. The unscripted. Right. And and what the rom coms are, you know, going in to this story, he's gonna meet her on the first date, fall in love, and and there'll be a little issues, then they'll get together. But on these reality shows, they show some very hard things.
• 31:55
  You know, a lot of them are crying. A lot of them have emotional issues. So that's where I think the fine line goes in. You're getting much more into the psyche of these individuals before they sort of get together in a relationship. And I don't know.
• 32:12
  I wonder how it affects the audience and how it affects actually the the people the the people in it. I I it's some you know, love is very difficult, and it's not an easy thing to have a good relationship, and they do it on a screen with everybody watching. So, you know, they've done a great job. They have a great franchise, so we have to admire them. But, everybody has to be a little skeptical of it.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: This year, also, the production value is very different than last season. So or the last, you know, how many seasons they've had before. They were kind of in a, like, rustic little hut, and they were all, like, sweating from the temperature. It was always raining. It was like handheld cameras very, like, lo fi.
• 32:57
  This year, they're I think they're really upping it where and this is what the mixed reaction is online. Like, it's, like, beautiful colors. They're in this nice hotel. Okay. They it's just like a totally different app.
• 33:12
  They've upgraded. They've upgraded. And some people are like, I want the old paradise Okay. And some people are like this more. So that's the other
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: Maybe they'll do both. If it's successful, they could do both. No.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: It's the same series. Okay. Let's do Grandma Gail's voicemail.
• 33:34
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• 33:53
  That's olly.com.
• 34:02
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• 34:18
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• 34:32
  Speaker 3: So we have someone who left a voice mail message question. Let me get it up.
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: Hi, guys. Love your podcast. I'm calling for some relationship or maybe, like, breakup advice. I met my boyfriend on a dating app. We were dating for eight months, and it was going really well.
• 34:54
  He treated me like a priority, texted me good morning, good night, sending me flowers. Just I was so sure of how he felt about me. And he was so consistent that I could count on it, you know, for this whole time we were dating. And then this past month and a half, I could kinda feel him slipping away. He was less attentive, less affectionate, wouldn't call, and he just stopped talking to me.
• 35:18
  So I guess I got ghosted by my boyfriend. I was supposed to be with him in New York for the summer, and the plan fell through because he just stopped responding. And, you know, I'm just trying to deal with this, trying to figure out how to cope. He still watches my stories. He's active online.
• 35:33
  Just I ceased to exist to him now, and I don't know what to make of it.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: K. So basically, she said she was dating this guy. There were really no red flags. He was treating her like a priority, and then one day just ghosted and stopped responding. And he's still active online.
• 35:52
  She sees that he follows her and everything, but he just hasn't gotten back to her, and she doesn't know how to cope. Neither would I, by the way. That's so traumatic. Like, you It is traumatic. Trust somebody and you're dating them and then they, for no reason, disappear?
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: Well, evidently, he was a big phony because if he really liked her, which he evidently showed some kind of response to her for eight months, either he realized that he was in over his head and he probably wasn't ready for her in a relationship, but he should have spoken to her, not just ghost somebody and go off the whole grid and then forget it. My advice to her, posted a thing. I'm over you. I'm over you, and don't bother even calling me back or texting me. No.
• 36:40
  I don't think it's petty. I think it's perfect. You're gone. You're off my my list. I've taken you off my phone.
• 36:48
  The way
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: you would basically do that is either post a story where you're looking really good and looking like you're having fun and that you basically are not home stressing about this.
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: I would just put it out there. I wouldn't You
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: would literally write on where everyone else could see it?
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: Well, if she's on, evidently, she's active on social media. So she's on social media and she and he's watching her. So the big thing is don't watch. It's over.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: So do you do you want her
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: to simple.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: It's over. To block him then?
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Block him. Okay. So If there's such a thing as that, block him. Yes.
• 37:20
  It's over.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: Okay. So you just block him on social media. He doesn't he shouldn't he doesn't deserve access to your life anymore. Correct. He shouldn't get to see what you And
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: she should stop thinking about it as much as she can.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Again, like, it's hard because you're obviously invested in this person, but at the same time, like, he's proved that he was a coward and not not because he didn't wanna be with you because he didn't say it to you and say, like Face to face. I can't handle it for whatever reason. Right.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: We don't really know. First of we don't know the age of these people. I hate when they they really should put their ages in Why does the that ask not? The Because if you're 20 years old, it's fine.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: People can't treat someone like
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: our No. You should never treat somebody like this. But if you're 20 or 25, I could say it's immaturity. If you're older and you're not getting it after eight months and you're not going to the next level, you should have had a conversation yourself, not wait for him to ghost you. There had to be some telltale sign in this and I often wonder if people are delusional because if you're in a relationship, you sort of know if it's cooling off and if you see that and you don't know the reason, should ask, are we on the same page?
• 38:27
  Are we not happy? Or, you know, are you not ready for it? So there are all kinds of circumstances, and age does matter.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Age does matter. True that, like, you don't wanna ignore red flags. And, of course, there are cases where, like, people are psycho and they're actually Yeah.
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: But Or just all of a sudden they get nervous,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: they get cold feet. Yes, but I think if there are little things like don't ever be afraid to say to your person like, hey, it seems like you're being colder lately, like can we talk about it? No, or
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: are we not on the same page anymore? Yeah. That's all. It's just a simple question. And if and if he says, you know, there are issues, which this guy clearly had because he ghosted her at some point, he it would have been nice of him to have told her what was upsetting him.
• 39:12
  So it or he it might be he met somebody else. Wait. Is But just talk about it.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: Just say it. Is it crazy if she had sent if she sends another text to him or even to his friend I would. He ever met that no. Just leave him. I wouldn't.
• 39:24
  But you don't wanna be a per with a person like that anyway.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Exactly. Don't prolong it. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't meant to be.
• 39:29
  You know? You know, life has a lot of those things. You have to sometimes swallow the the hard knocks and just go on with it.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: Mhmm.
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: But I would have hoped she didn't see something and ignored it. Yeah. Exactly. Of the flowers or whatever or
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: it
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: was, you know.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's the thing. Like, maybe just be a little wary for the next relationship. Okay. A quick ask them anything.
• 39:57
  Someone wrote your favorite restaurants for dinner near the Met Museum. Taking my three teen daughters next week. Okay.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: Well, I have a lot of them. Maconian on 83rd between off of Bannis. It's very hard reservation, and it's small and it's Greek. Very, very good. I think one of our personal favorites is Nicola's on 84th Street uptown, so that's close to the museum you can walk.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: There's so many
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: cute little places. Seraphine is fabulous, up pizza, pasta. Luke's on 3rd Avenue, hamburgers, chili are delicious, depending on what kind of food you want. If you want it casual, there's so many things. Look it up sort of.
• 40:44
  I you know, on there's always these sites that tell you. But anywhere in the high Seventies, through 90th Street is fine. You just walk. It's so beautiful to walk in to the city and love the Met. It's so beautiful.
• 40:56
  Each exhibition is nicer than the next.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: One person wrote in, show the rest of your family. Well, I think very soon people are gonna get a little insight into the rest of our family. So you're gonna have to look out for an upcoming episode. Does your mom borrow things from her mom? So does she doesn't.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: No. Not really. Has not been? No. Well, I've given I've given mom if she needed something for a special occasion and I had it and she didn't have it, I would give it to her.
• 41:27
  But at this point, she has And plenty of her she has her own taste. And we wouldn't borrow each other's clothes.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: But I steal from both of you.
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: You steal from both of us.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's kinda similar, some things, accessories and things.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah. What
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: did your grandparents do for work before they retired?
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: Well, your grandfather was in the real estate business. He was first actually in the check printing business and then he went in the real estate business and Grandma raised a family. I'm very happy to do so.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: My parents' parenting style versus grandparents' parenting style? Probably the same. Your parents were a little more lenient than No. Really? Yeah.
• 42:12
  I think I was gonna say well, I don't know, obviously, because I wasn't there for what but I was gonna say they were more strict.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: No. I don't think so.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: You think you were more strict with that?
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: I I well, we had certain standards that if they didn't meet it, it would've been trouble.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Like what, they were grounded? Yeah, but
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: they were never really grounded because I never had both my son and my daughter really followed the rules. They were not rule breakers. Interesting. And my son was a very good student but didn't worry, he was a good athlete. So he put his athletics above everything else and your mom worked very hard.
• 42:48
  Okay,
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: amazing. Anything else this week?
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: No. I'm I'm caught up. I'm I'm doing a lot of activities with you, and, I'm gonna, enjoy the summer months because I love it. And today was a perfect day, so I walked here almost, almost the whole way.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: Wait, what?
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: I took a long walk from uptown down here, so it was really That is too long. Yeah, but it's beautiful today. Wow. Today was beautiful. More I have comfortable not walked shoes and the city is great.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, everyone. Another great episode of Excuse My Grandma. Remember to follow us on social media if you don't or Excuse My Grandma. My personal is Kim Murstein, k I m m u r s t e I n. Also, if you're listening to the podcast right now and you want to be watching it, you can go to our YouTube channel to actually watch.
• 43:37
  Or if you listen on Spotify, you can actually see us on there. And follow the show, leave us a review, and we'll see you next
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: week. Bye. Hey, mama. Thanks for making all my favorite recipes.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Hi, ma. Thanks for your unfiltered advice.
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: Hi, mom. Thanks for always being by the phone.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Hey, mom. Happy Mother's Day.
• 44:06
  Speaker 8: When you ship UPS Air at the UPS Store, your items arrive on time or your money back, Guaranteed at no extra cost. Exclusively at the UPS Store US retail locations. Visit the upsstore.com/airshipping for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Send your Mother's Day gifts at the UPS Store, and we'll get your gratitude there on time.