Latest / Billy The Kidd In The Morning / Dirty Little Secret: “How far would you go to quietly stay connected to someone you love?”

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Dirty Little Secret: “How far would you go to quietly stay connected to someone you love?” · Billy The Kidd In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Get it off your jest to promise you'll feel better.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the dirty Little Secret.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I got one thousand dollars coming up next. That mixed
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: money machine is up and running. We do it on
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the forties every hour all day, so make sure you
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: listen to win. It's mixed one on two point nine
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and Bill at a kid CANi Slowpaz, producer Poo and
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: your dirty little secrets anytime you want. I always say
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: they could be a big secret, a little secret, whatever
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  Speaker 1: the secret is, and just tell us. You can also
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: DM me at Billy on the radio, and you got one.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: And you've never told anybody.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: This, nobody. I've never felt anyone is out loud.
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  Speaker 1: So what's going on?
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  Speaker 2: Okay? So about fifteen years ago I gave my son
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  Speaker 2: up for adoption. Of course, I was young and scared
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  Speaker 2: and convinced I was doing the right thing. So of
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  Speaker 2: course I told myself, you have a better life without me,
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  Speaker 2: and for a long time that belief was the only
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  Speaker 2: way I could breathe and survive. I could know that
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  Speaker 2: I was just young and wasn't able to do what
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  Speaker 2: I could what I would like to do for him
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  Speaker 2: at such a young age, you know, I didn't mean
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: to do anything with the information at first. I just
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: wanted to know he was okay. So I found out
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  Speaker 2: that I found out where he lived lives, yes, where
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  Speaker 2: he currently lived with his adopted parents. And I drove
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  Speaker 2: past a couple of times first, and I didn't stop.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't slow down much. I just kind of looked
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  Speaker 2: like just knowing that, oh, my son lived there, or
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  Speaker 2: you know, so.
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  Speaker 1: You drive, so you drive by his house. You've driven
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: by his house a few times, and that makes you
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: feel better, just to kind of see his situation.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, and and and I seeing him come outside, you know,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: so I put some eyes on him and like, okay,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: you're looking looking good. And so I have went to
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: a few of his basketball games, sit way high up
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: in the back where nobody can see me, and notice really,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: of course he has no idea, yeah, because we haven't met.
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  Speaker 2: I haven't, you know, ran up on him. Didn't want
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  Speaker 2: to because I understand the rules of what I did,
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  Speaker 2: you know, so I can't really unless he wants to
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: be involved with me. So I go and I'm supporting
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  Speaker 2: him and clapping and having a good time. Only I
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  Speaker 2: know that i'm his biological mom, which I feel ridiculous
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  Speaker 2: admitting this, you know, like it sounds I'm.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Not going to put myself. I can't say what you're
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  Speaker 1: doing is right or wrong? Is it on some heavy?
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  Speaker 1: It's heavy? And I can't say what you're doing is
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  Speaker 1: right or wrong because I've never been in your shoes,
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  Speaker 1: so I can't imagine the emotions that you've went through
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: over the years. And if this is something, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: my thing is, I'm sure there's a line you don't
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: want to cross for his sake, and it looks like
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  Speaker 1: you kind of know. The line is a little blurred
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  Speaker 1: right now, but he doesn't know so is But I mean,
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  Speaker 1: would he find out? Can he find out? Is there
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  Speaker 1: gonna be a moment where you break and you say
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  Speaker 1: something at a basketball game or you make your presence known.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: That's where I think it gets a little dicey.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just taking it one day at a time.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't really want to disret his life and confuse
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: him or take something away from his family that have
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  Speaker 2: raised him, you know. But I'm just happy knowing that
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: he's growing good and from this it makes him that
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: heartache a little softer, you know. So it's like I
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: did do the right thing. I don't really need him
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  Speaker 2: to know who I am. I don't need anything from
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  Speaker 2: it all. I just wanted to see and make sure
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  Speaker 2: he was good. You know, these type of stories happen
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  Speaker 2: all the time, and then you know the child is
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  Speaker 2: being abused whatever. But it seems as though he's living
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  Speaker 2: a good life and doing stuff that he enjoys. So
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  Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe possibly I could. You know, I
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  Speaker 2: want a relationship with him.
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  Speaker 1: But I know he's what you said fifteen or whatever.
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  Speaker 1: So one day if he reaches out to you and
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  Speaker 1: he wants to meet, I mean, you're obviously going to
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  Speaker 1: be open to that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm den yes, I'm most definitely down. I would love that.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, that's all. That is a deep That is a
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  Speaker 1: deep secret, right there. I just painful it is, but
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  Speaker 1: or you know, is it it's bringing It sounds like
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  Speaker 1: it's bringing you some kind of comfort in a way, right,
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  Speaker 1: because you've been living at guilt that you haven't processed.
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  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, right, you're right, you're right.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, do you look back and do you feel
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  Speaker 1: like you did the right thing or is it something
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  Speaker 1: you look back on you you'd have done differently.
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  Speaker 2: Based off me being young? I would say that I
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  Speaker 2: probably would have did the same thing, just because I
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  Speaker 2: wasn't at a at a place where I could take
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  Speaker 2: care of them like I would like, right right, But
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  Speaker 2: I definitely would like to, you know, would like to
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  Speaker 2: have the option to be involved with him because I
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  Speaker 2: think you just knowing my baby is out there, I
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  Speaker 2: had a baby, you know, I would like to build
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  Speaker 2: a bond with him. That's why it's kind of like
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  Speaker 2: I'm peeking around and looking like we got something going.
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  Speaker 1: On, and I have a feeling you will. I have
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  Speaker 1: a feeling that that will happen. And I know many
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  Speaker 1: families who you know. I have good friends who were
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  Speaker 1: adopted and they're very close to their biological parents and
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  Speaker 1: they have a beautiful relationship. So I wouldn't rule that out.
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  Speaker 1: And I think it was a very selfless decision for
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  Speaker 1: you to do that back then, because.
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  Speaker 2: That's it gives me some good hope.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't even imagine trying to make that decision.
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  Speaker 1: So wow, Well, thank you for opening up to us,
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  Speaker 1: because that is that's a lot, so we appreciate it
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  Speaker 1: very much. And and thank you, thank you
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  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening