Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #171 I'm Going To Be A Dad (Again) Any Second Now!

Transcript

#171 I'm Going To Be A Dad (Again) Any Second Now! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

0:00
Speaker 1: This has just dawned on me. What bear with me?
0:04
Speaker 1: You're going to be a dad this month? Do you know?
0:06
Speaker 1: I know that there's a bassinet over there?
0:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got to fucking clear out the room upstairs.
0:13
Speaker 2: I made such good progress and I kind of moved
0:15
Speaker 2: everything out to the hallway, and then I had to
0:19
Speaker 2: put things back in and it's made more mess.
0:24
Speaker 1: You're trying, like logistically move s out and you're like, okay,
0:26
Speaker 1: move this out to get this out, and then you
0:28
Speaker 1: realize that you've just made a whole new mess in
0:30
Speaker 1: the hallway and then you just.
0:33
Speaker 2: Board the room. Welcome back to two Notting Dads.
0:51
Speaker 1: I'm Maddie Jay And.
0:53
Speaker 2: And this is podcast that happens to be all about parenting.
0:56
Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad and relatable.
0:58
Speaker 2: And if you've come for advice, that's your first mistake
1:01
Speaker 2: because you're not going to get any on this episode,
1:03
Speaker 2: not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
1:05
Speaker 1: Here's of advice. Don't expect advice. Thank you, put on
1:09
Speaker 1: T shirt. Thank you anyway.
1:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought we were locked in for a date
1:13
Speaker 2: to be in. We Laura to be induced, like I swear.
1:18
Speaker 2: The obstetrician was like, this is the date you're getting injun.
1:22
Speaker 1: Tell people that, oh shit, sorry.
1:23
Speaker 2: So we had to beat that out because I give
1:26
Speaker 2: it away too much.
1:28
Speaker 1: Well that was my fault. She'd come for me if
1:30
Speaker 1: she wants, but I actually don't. Don't send.
1:33
Speaker 2: But also you're so far away that when you can't
1:36
Speaker 2: reach you, I'm then next in line.
1:38
Speaker 1: My plan works perfectly, genius, but.
1:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, look stressful, stressful. A couple of days, still haven't
1:45
Speaker 2: got everything quite ready. We gave away the followed out
1:48
Speaker 2: bed he did, gave that away, that went off, gave
1:51
Speaker 2: away the KINDI chat on WhatsApp. I thought I was
1:55
Speaker 2: getting gets one of the parents, and then they were
1:57
Speaker 2: offloating it to one of their friends.
1:59
Speaker 1: I hate when people do.
2:00
Speaker 2: I was getting rid of it, so it's gone, it's gone.
2:03
Speaker 1: But I thought it's funny that you're happy to get
2:05
Speaker 1: rid of something that's free with any care about where
2:07
Speaker 1: it goes. Also, we were like, because we're moving, we're
2:13
Speaker 1: like culling everything like we are. I'm being ruthless.
2:17
Speaker 2: What are you like, what's something that you weren't sure
2:19
Speaker 2: about to keep a throw?
2:21
Speaker 1: It's mainly like it's mainly like bulky a furniture that
2:24
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just sick of looking at this fucking thing.
2:27
Speaker 1: It's just like that have gone from house to house
2:29
Speaker 1: to house. You're like, you know what kind of done
2:32
Speaker 1: with you?
2:33
Speaker 2: Time is up?
2:34
Speaker 1: I know, so like good. A good example is like
2:38
Speaker 1: the chest of drawers, right that it's got two sides,
2:41
Speaker 1: so it was used to be Macy and Oscar site.
2:43
Speaker 2: I feel like chests of drawers are the cockroach of
2:46
Speaker 2: the furniture. Well, oh my god, because they're practical, they
2:49
Speaker 2: won't die even if they're just like they're chipped, they've
2:52
Speaker 2: been banged about, they've been beaten up.
2:54
Speaker 1: And then April we're a combination of throwing things, just
2:58
Speaker 1: throwing things out because it could not I can't be
3:00
Speaker 1: asked with Facebook people, and for like.
3:03
Speaker 2: Fifty bucks, not even like twenty bucks. I know, people, Okay,
3:07
Speaker 2: what do you think is the lowest that you should
3:09
Speaker 2: be allowed to sell an item for on Facebook?
3:11
Speaker 1: Free? Yeah?
3:12
Speaker 2: Obviously, but like, at what point does the price become
3:16
Speaker 2: so low that you just offer it for free because.
3:20
Speaker 1: Out of fifty bucks, unless it's like unless it's like
3:24
Speaker 1: a parasos or.
3:24
Speaker 2: Something, who the fuck is selling socks on you?
3:27
Speaker 1: Worry? I've got a really quick funny story for you,
3:30
Speaker 1: because the thing I don't like about it is I
3:32
Speaker 1: don't mind. I said to April. I'm like, I'm chucking
3:35
Speaker 1: this shit out and she's like, no, let me put
3:37
Speaker 1: it on marketplace. I'm like, yeah, that's fine, but I
3:39
Speaker 1: am not doing any of the work. I am not
3:41
Speaker 1: lifting a finger for these people, these people that because
3:45
Speaker 1: I know whatever nightmare it is. So she put this
3:47
Speaker 1: up for free, got about fifty messages of people asked
3:50
Speaker 1: us the questions and the chest of draws, and then
3:53
Speaker 1: we finally narrowed it dan or she did not me.
3:55
Speaker 1: Finally narrowed down to someone who's going to pick it up,
3:57
Speaker 1: and they're like, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. I'm like, great,
3:59
Speaker 1: there were great there, Like April was like, oh, I
4:01
Speaker 1: was like, tell him, your husband's not homes so I
4:03
Speaker 1: don't have to help carry it. And they've got to
4:04
Speaker 1: bring someone to help carry it. Genius, there's not my
4:07
Speaker 1: first lap around the block. Anyway. Two minutes later, I
4:11
Speaker 1: can't make it today. I'm sorry. It's like, oh, for
4:13
Speaker 1: fox sake.
4:13
Speaker 2: What has happened in two minutes?
4:16
Speaker 1: Your whole life has been altered in two minutes. So
4:21
Speaker 1: that's what I hate about the whole situation, getting roped
4:23
Speaker 1: into help. So, for example, my friend Miles, he was
4:26
Speaker 1: giving giving away a fridge because he was moving out
4:29
Speaker 1: of his apartment and he was like, I don't need it.
4:31
Speaker 1: He was going flying flat for work. I don't need it.
4:34
Speaker 1: Put it on. A young girl said, okay, great, I'll
4:37
Speaker 1: take it, right He said, cool, here it is, come
4:39
Speaker 1: and grab it. This is my dress. She got there,
4:41
Speaker 1: rocks up in a Marena literally it was a Corolla anyway,
4:48
Speaker 1: with no one to help her, and Miles was like,
4:51
Speaker 1: how are you going to carry this? Fridge?
4:52
Speaker 2: Is one hundred killos?
4:53
Speaker 1: Do you reckon? You could help me. He's a big
4:55
Speaker 1: boy there, He's a big boy. So he got roped
4:57
Speaker 1: into carrying it down the stairs of a uni.
5:00
Speaker 2: Yeah.
5:01
Speaker 1: Then and where are we going to put it? He's
5:03
Speaker 1: got a ute. Guess what. It's in the back of
5:05
Speaker 1: his ute.
5:06
Speaker 2: And then she was like, how are these people getting by?
5:09
Speaker 2: And I know?
5:09
Speaker 1: So he had to follow her all the way to
5:11
Speaker 1: her house and then unload it and put it in
5:14
Speaker 1: her fridge section.
5:16
Speaker 2: Where do you live, Victoria?
5:17
Speaker 1: Anyway? Now they're getting married, but like that, that's what
5:20
Speaker 1: scares the shit out of me.
5:24
Speaker 2: Not your children being injured, any type of loss of life,
5:28
Speaker 2: just helping people load furniture into a car.
5:30
Speaker 1: Yep, can't stand it.
5:32
Speaker 2: I was very specific when I was giving away that
5:36
Speaker 2: fold out couch because.
5:37
Speaker 1: It comes apart. Yeah yeah.
5:39
Speaker 2: And I was like, you can as a single person,
5:43
Speaker 2: as an individual, you could make the trip by yourself.
5:46
Speaker 1: But just checking.
5:47
Speaker 2: I've got many phone calls to make tomorrow and I'm
5:49
Speaker 2: just checking there will be two of them collecting. And
5:52
Speaker 2: they were like yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like,
5:53
Speaker 2: because I've got the very important phone calls, I cannot
5:57
Speaker 2: be unloading any type of furniture whilst the important uncles
6:00
Speaker 2: are being made.
6:01
Speaker 1: You're just on hold. I was like, oh yes, bye, hi,
6:05
Speaker 1: so loo that's what people do.
6:07
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not giving away bloody couch and
6:09
Speaker 2: then loading it.
6:10
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm not doing that. Ship.
6:11
Speaker 2: I'm not an idiot taken advantage.
6:13
Speaker 1: Of the Funny thing is after that happened with Myles,
6:16
Speaker 1: he rang me and told me the story and I'm like,
6:17
Speaker 1: if she had you immediately, mate, she knew. So yeah,
6:23
Speaker 1: giving away a lot of ship. If anyone wants anything, what.
6:26
Speaker 2: Do you what do you go, well, you imagine like
6:28
Speaker 2: my fridge and the couch, and you backed out of both.
6:30
Speaker 1: That's how I rolled you. Oh no, I'm one of
6:34
Speaker 1: them anyway.
6:37
Speaker 2: Housekeeping, housekeeping? What do we got?
6:40
Speaker 1: What do we go from house moving to housekeeping? I
6:44
Speaker 1: know this is on a T shirt. This is like
6:45
Speaker 1: a lifestyle podcast speaking of lifestyle, Yes, part of housekeeping.
6:54
Speaker 2: Oh go on, spread the fucking news.
6:57
Speaker 1: Well, there was a little time ago where.
6:59
Speaker 2: Cat and No one cares about your show.
7:03
Speaker 1: Matt and I went head to head in an audition
7:05
Speaker 1: for a particular TV show that has now been announced
7:09
Speaker 1: as Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.
7:10
Speaker 2: The audition, there was a ring. They greased us both up,
7:13
Speaker 2: and they were.
7:13
Speaker 1: Like, now fight to the death, and I had my
7:18
Speaker 1: way with you man. Anyway, So it's been it's been
7:22
Speaker 1: announced that Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise is being reboot. It's
7:26
Speaker 1: a lifestyle show from the nineties, and yours truly is
7:30
Speaker 1: somewhat of a.
7:31
Speaker 2: Cost, the irony that you were on a show called healthy.
7:35
Speaker 2: I'm neither of those things.
7:38
Speaker 1: Neither of any of those things. I'm not healthy, wealthy,
7:43
Speaker 1: or wise. Damn it. I used that joke immediately when
7:47
Speaker 1: I had the audition and they loved it, so that's
7:50
Speaker 1: why I got the job.
7:52
Speaker 2: I was just sitting there with my abs like all
7:56
Speaker 2: the love in the shower.
8:01
Speaker 1: Anyway, Yes, so that has been announced. There's no date
8:04
Speaker 1: when it's going to start.
8:05
Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you, very proud of you.
8:07
Speaker 1: I play a role that is you know.
8:10
Speaker 2: I trained you up, I got you to this point.
8:14
Speaker 2: You know, I all of my wisdom that I have
8:17
Speaker 2: accumulated over ten years of working in this entertainment industry
8:20
Speaker 2: I've passed on to you.
8:21
Speaker 1: You sound like a jealous ex game. I've used me.
8:25
Speaker 1: I didn't use it against you. I used my own
8:27
Speaker 1: personality and my own brain, thank you very much, and
8:31
Speaker 1: my own words. Yes, that's what I did. So anyway,
8:36
Speaker 1: I made out to be part of the production of
8:38
Speaker 1: the show, but they crossed to me as a bit
8:42
Speaker 1: of a co hosty sort of role. But yeah, congratulations
8:46
Speaker 1: to me you. Yes, so handsome. I'm talking to me
8:51
Speaker 1: because I'm going to watch it back later. Sorry of course. Anyway,
8:55
Speaker 1: So yeah, that comes out. It's gonna be on Chail
8:56
Speaker 1: seven Saturday nights. I don't know when, but probably after
8:59
Speaker 1: the Grand Final. Anyway, what do you got? Nothing that'suns
9:02
Speaker 1: about right anyway? Do you know what jealousy is? An
9:05
Speaker 1: ugly color on you? Shut up. Now that you're a
9:10
Speaker 1: getty having three kids, you're turning into a bitter old man.
9:16
Speaker 2: You've got TV shows.
9:17
Speaker 1: I've just got more children, look after same thing.
9:21
Speaker 2: Oh this is unfair, unfair. Yeah, we've got some male ash.
9:28
Speaker 1: Because housekeeping also doubles up as mail bag, just introducing
9:34
Speaker 1: new segments every week. This is called mail bags.
9:37
Speaker 2: This one is from Rachel actually just has a little
9:40
Speaker 2: dinner hack.
9:41
Speaker 1: Did you reach into the mail bag to get this
9:43
Speaker 1: hack out? Yes? Good, I just want to visualize what's happening.
9:48
Speaker 2: Okay, best dinner hack idea, because we're all about shaying
9:52
Speaker 2: things to make you like healthier, wealthier.
9:54
Speaker 1: Wi That's what I'm about. Actually I could use some
9:58
Speaker 1: of that.
10:01
Speaker 2: We had the same hectic dinner routine like Matt did
10:03
Speaker 2: talking about the girls, and this genuinely fixed it. We
10:08
Speaker 2: do surprise bowls go on. So the surprise bowls are
10:12
Speaker 2: after dinner. Basically something sweet that is covered up by
10:16
Speaker 2: a bowl turned upside down so it's hiding. It's always
10:18
Speaker 2: something different, for example, a photo frog, new lollies, a lollipop,
10:21
Speaker 2: a few squares of chocolate, et cetera.
10:26
Speaker 1: So instead of just instead of just being like, oh,
10:28
Speaker 1: I've got a fredo, if you eat all that, you're like,
10:31
Speaker 1: if you eat all that, you get to open the
10:32
Speaker 1: surprise bowl. I fucking love that. So I don't get invested.
10:37
Speaker 2: They don't get to know what is in the surprise
10:39
Speaker 2: bowl until they have finished their dinner. They eat so
10:42
Speaker 2: much faster, and they both even compete now with who
10:46
Speaker 2: can get it first. It's changed in a time for
10:48
Speaker 2: a one and a half hour drag out to being
10:51
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. It is such a win.
10:53
Speaker 1: Oh, it's all fun and games.
10:55
Speaker 2: Someone chokes if you use this on your fucking show. Okay,
11:00
Speaker 2: I'm just like, you're not getting credit. She's getting credit. Yeah,
11:03
Speaker 2: I have stuff, Rachel, just to lead.
11:05
Speaker 1: That name out of there right now. Look, I think
11:08
Speaker 1: that's brilliant, except for the increasing the speed of which
11:12
Speaker 1: the food is because that's that's a potential hazard. Shut up, okay,
11:18
Speaker 1: shut up next. I mean, I think I'm just saying
11:21
Speaker 1: Oscar's pro to joking? Is he really sometimes? How fast
11:26
Speaker 1: is he eating? Everything's a race, everything's erase. When you
11:30
Speaker 1: got boys.
11:31
Speaker 2: Mate with Lola, My god, my.
11:33
Speaker 1: God, you mean the future Matilda, how did you trying
11:37
Speaker 1: to you just let her fly, let her spread her
11:41
Speaker 1: wings on the soccer field, and eat as fast or
11:45
Speaker 1: as slow as she likes.
11:47
Speaker 2: It was it was literally, like Rachel said here, it
11:49
Speaker 2: was an hour and a half. And I went to
11:51
Speaker 2: the whole like, well, if you're not going to eat
11:53
Speaker 2: your dinner, you can go to bed. She's like, she
11:56
Speaker 2: walks up the stairs and I'm like, no, you will
11:57
Speaker 2: sit back down here.
11:59
Speaker 1: I get you all.
12:00
Speaker 2: The goalpost is always moving when you're trying to discipline
12:02
Speaker 2: a child.
12:03
Speaker 1: If they yeah, Macy's pulled the Okay, well if you
12:06
Speaker 1: don't eat, then you can just go to bed. She's like, okay,
12:08
Speaker 1: I'm tired anyway, I'm thank god I have to do
12:11
Speaker 1: bedtime now either.
12:13
Speaker 2: What else we got for housekeeping? My guy? Okay, we
12:15
Speaker 2: don't have a baby update other than it's close.
12:18
Speaker 1: It's close. It's looming. It's close.
12:21
Speaker 2: We are seconds, hours perhaps from baby number three arriving.
12:28
Speaker 1: What's your What are you feeling right now about it?
12:34
Speaker 2: This will sound weird, but it still kind of feels
12:38
Speaker 2: like it's not happening. Yeah, it feels like Lawa has
12:41
Speaker 2: just had like a really upset tummy. It keeps growing, yeah, outwards, outwards,
12:46
Speaker 2: getting big.
12:47
Speaker 1: It just doesn't.
12:50
Speaker 2: I think with two kids, you're just so focused on
12:54
Speaker 2: them that I haven't really had a moment to really
12:58
Speaker 2: understand what's about to happen. And every now and then you're.
13:02
Speaker 1: About to have a baby. I don't understand what's going
13:05
Speaker 1: to happen? Is my third one.
13:07
Speaker 2: Every now and then I get a little taste of
13:09
Speaker 2: what I'm in for. Your friends got a three month old.
13:11
Speaker 2: Another friend of parent at school, they have a little
13:15
Speaker 2: a little bit younger, about two months old. They're so little,
13:19
Speaker 2: so tiny, so fragile, and so I'll hold them and
13:21
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, this is what it's going to be.
13:23
Speaker 1: Like, take it back.
13:26
Speaker 2: Newborns are so boring.
13:28
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true.
13:28
Speaker 2: I love them.
13:30
Speaker 1: And yeah, like holding it for like a minute and
13:32
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm next puppy or something.
13:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do I feel? How do I feel? Look?
13:39
Speaker 2: Every now and then I do have a little freak
13:41
Speaker 2: out where I'm thinking to myself, Jesus, how are we
13:45
Speaker 2: going to manage? Because actually, actually I've got an announcement
13:49
Speaker 2: to make shut up.
13:50
Speaker 1: You're having a kid.
13:53
Speaker 2: Okay, you may have your TV show what do you got,
13:56
Speaker 2: I've got something that you don't have.
13:59
Speaker 1: Okay, go on chlamydia, well jokes, lately you have. How
14:08
Speaker 1: are the girls feeling about having a little sister.
14:11
Speaker 2: The pumped, They're really excited.
14:13
Speaker 1: They are girls love babies.
14:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, except I'm like you. I'm trying to say to them, like,
14:18
Speaker 2: you don't realize what you're in for. Okay, you look
14:21
Speaker 2: happy now and you're excited, but the reality is this
14:24
Speaker 2: is going to be.
14:24
Speaker 1: A fucking nightmare. Yeah when you have to wait when
14:27
Speaker 1: you wake up because this baby crying. Yeah, I hate it.
14:29
Speaker 2: And I'm not going to give you any of my
14:31
Speaker 2: energy because it's all going to go to this baby.
14:33
Speaker 2: And they're like, mom, Dad's scaring me so and then
14:38
Speaker 2: nanny's bloody. You got a rhyam but O overall very excited.
14:42
Speaker 1: That's good. Thank you, Matte. You have two girls. One
14:46
Speaker 1: that looks like you, which is Marley, and the other
14:50
Speaker 1: looks exactly like Laura.
14:51
Speaker 2: This is going to sound arrogant, ash, but I'm going
14:53
Speaker 2: to say both children look like me, and both children
14:56
Speaker 2: are gorgeous, very beautiful, joy handsome. Thank you, and I
15:00
Speaker 2: I've always known that, I've always known that it was, well,
15:04
Speaker 2: I've always known that my children are very good looking,
15:06
Speaker 2: and I can now say that I am responsible for that.
15:10
Speaker 1: They are handsome girls. And also with a third girl,
15:15
Speaker 1: do you reckon that maybe that one's going to be
15:17
Speaker 1: skew if and look like Laura.
15:19
Speaker 2: No, they will all look like me. Okay, And it's
15:22
Speaker 2: exciting because new research has just come out, ash.
15:25
Speaker 1: Okay, where did you find this? Research?
15:26
Speaker 2: From Instagram? Great studies, incredible, very credible studies. Fine that
15:31
Speaker 2: kids often get their good looks from their dad.
15:35
Speaker 1: Knew it. That's why my kids are so handsome and
15:38
Speaker 1: so charming and beautiful. It doesn't say personality. Now I
15:41
Speaker 1: would just roll it all into one.
15:43
Speaker 2: But according to studies, your kids good looks most likely
15:46
Speaker 2: come from dad, however their brains from mom. Okay. Research
15:52
Speaker 2: studied over ten thousand families have found that the genes
15:55
Speaker 2: for things like jawlines, eye color, and overall wow factor?
16:00
Speaker 2: How was that measured, usually show up stronger from the
16:02
Speaker 2: dad's side.
16:03
Speaker 1: How is that measured? I'll tell you how that's measured.
16:06
Speaker 1: So when someone walks into a room, depends how loud
16:08
Speaker 1: that people go oh wow wow factor? No? No good, Okay,
16:15
Speaker 1: moving on now, about your quickage. Would you prefer your kids?
16:19
Speaker 1: Would you prefer to be the one for their looks
16:21
Speaker 1: or the one for their brain? Which one looks pretty privileged?
16:28
Speaker 2: Yeah?
16:29
Speaker 1: Fu the brain. It's hidden. It's all the way back
16:31
Speaker 1: in there somewhere. I can't even see it.
16:33
Speaker 2: I can't tell. Okay, Marley does look like me. I
16:38
Speaker 2: feel like she's very smart. So does that. That's I've
16:42
Speaker 2: got the looks, brains looks, brains are from Laura.
16:45
Speaker 1: You're the mimbo.
16:47
Speaker 2: What's that mean?
16:47
Speaker 1: Like me, man bimbo?
16:53
Speaker 2: That's housekeeping done.
16:55
Speaker 1: Oh we can relax, and I do love it. Okay,
16:58
Speaker 1: mat our house has been terrorised by something. I want
17:01
Speaker 1: you to tell me if you know what this is.
17:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a what do you call it?
17:10
Speaker 1: Little zing It's a bay blade, a baby blade. They
17:13
Speaker 1: have made their resurgence back from the dead.
17:16
Speaker 2: Is that metal? Oh yeah, there's a bit of weight
17:19
Speaker 2: to this thing. Now.
17:20
Speaker 1: The reason I've got a gripe with this thing the
17:22
Speaker 1: dragon ball z No. The reason I've got a gripe
17:25
Speaker 1: with this thing is they were pretty popular when I
17:28
Speaker 1: was a kid, and they've come full circle, like things
17:31
Speaker 1: do come back into popularity. Yes, and I would say.
17:36
Speaker 1: At the start of the year, Oscar got onto these, okay,
17:41
Speaker 1: and the problem is with them that these kids obsess
17:44
Speaker 1: over them so much that it alters their personality. And
17:49
Speaker 1: of course we know how these young kids, you know,
17:52
Speaker 1: sort of five six, they could be easily persuaded. Their
17:56
Speaker 1: moods can change, they lock in, they can't regulate. There's
17:58
Speaker 1: all sorts of issues. Anyway, you put that unregulated emotion
18:04
Speaker 1: in the house with something like this, you've got a
18:07
Speaker 1: recipe for disaster. So Oscar was given a couple of
18:10
Speaker 1: them for Christmas back last year. Last Christmas, I was
18:15
Speaker 1: fine with them, but there, you know, you get two
18:17
Speaker 1: of them, they battle, They make a lot of noise.
18:19
Speaker 1: I quickly started to hate it so much because he
18:23
Speaker 1: would also like it would become his whole personality, this
18:27
Speaker 1: fucking thing. And then I found an opportunity to get
18:32
Speaker 1: rid of them out of the house, which was he
18:34
Speaker 1: called his mother a naughty name. And my reaction was,
18:38
Speaker 1: that's it their band, because he would have never ever
18:43
Speaker 1: spoken to his mum like that before they came. So anyway,
18:46
Speaker 1: that was what are we now? August September, Shit, I'm tired. Anyway,
18:53
Speaker 1: I banned them from the house completely banned them. He
18:56
Speaker 1: was he understands why. He still knows now that I
18:59
Speaker 1: said to him, Hey, why you know why they're banned?
19:01
Speaker 1: He said, yeah, I called mummy. You don't want to
19:03
Speaker 1: know what you call her. I can beat this out.
19:05
Speaker 1: A dirty little rat. What happened? Nothing, what happened to him?
19:12
Speaker 2: But also that's not the worst thing in the Yeah,
19:13
Speaker 2: but he's.
19:14
Speaker 1: He was a he was He's a six year old.
19:15
Speaker 1: He shouldn't be talking. And I said to him, you
19:17
Speaker 1: do not talk girls like that, mate.
19:20
Speaker 2: That's like, who's that guy from The Departed Jack Nicholson.
19:23
Speaker 2: He's like, there's a.
19:23
Speaker 1: Rat in here, your dirty rat anyway. I was like,
19:27
Speaker 1: only I call her that. No, I was like straight away,
19:30
Speaker 1: I'm like, you do not talk to girls like that
19:32
Speaker 1: or anyone like that in that fat and that in
19:34
Speaker 1: that manner anyway. So I had banned them, gone household
19:38
Speaker 1: back to normal. Oscar was back to being a kid
19:40
Speaker 1: playing footy outside. No one's been called a rat, no
19:43
Speaker 1: one's being called any sort of marsupial or mammal, whatever
19:47
Speaker 1: they are. I just want to come to both bases there,
19:53
Speaker 1: neither reptile whatever anyway. So you know time has gone by,
20:01
Speaker 1: and then he had his sixth birthday, and.
20:04
Speaker 2: All of a sudden he starts calling everyone rats. Again,
20:07
Speaker 2: let's stop focusing on the rat.
20:10
Speaker 1: He received some of these for his birthday, so they
20:14
Speaker 1: come with two things. There's that and then there's the ripcord, which,
20:17
Speaker 1: let me just get that really quick. You can have
20:20
Speaker 1: a turn of it after and I can't wait. What
20:23
Speaker 1: happened was at that birthday and he knew they were banned.
20:28
Speaker 1: Don't you're triggering me. He knew they were You know what,
20:31
Speaker 1: I was going to dismantle it, so you can't shut up. Sorry.
20:38
Speaker 1: So what I did is I confiscated these the rip chord,
20:42
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, well that's fine, you can have those.
20:45
Speaker 1: And then of course I get guilted into giving them
20:48
Speaker 1: back to him because I went to America and Abril
20:52
Speaker 1: had to keep them entertained, and he was like please,
20:54
Speaker 1: he'd been a good boy the whole time. I said, okay,
20:57
Speaker 1: you can have them back, and just like that, the
21:01
Speaker 1: personality changed again. Pretty much. Dude, he here's your dinner.
21:08
Speaker 1: Everything about his life revolves around this thing. I can't
21:13
Speaker 1: stand it. He gets locked in every two seconds. Can
21:16
Speaker 1: you battle me, Oh my gosh, up every two seconds.
21:20
Speaker 1: So then how do you battle two of them together?
21:23
Speaker 2: Yeah?
21:25
Speaker 1: Sorry, stopped being me seriously now, and also I apologize
21:32
Speaker 1: now from previous years anyway. So the thing is that
21:37
Speaker 1: all of his mates are obsessed with them too, and
21:39
Speaker 1: they start taking them to school, and everything about him
21:44
Speaker 1: now is all about this. He's not kicking the footy anymore.
21:47
Speaker 1: He's like, I've got to try and drag him out.
21:49
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, we're going to go down to
21:50
Speaker 1: the park footy. What do you think? He says? Can
21:53
Speaker 1: I bring my bad blades? No?
21:55
Speaker 2: It reminds me of someone who is obsessed with Pokemon cards.
22:00
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know who that is.
22:02
Speaker 2: You know, I remember picking you up and then there
22:04
Speaker 2: you are sitting in the passenger seat opening up your
22:06
Speaker 2: Pokemon cards.
22:08
Speaker 1: I don't make it my whole personality the well no, no, well,
22:13
Speaker 1: well let me finish, Yeah, okay, let me finish.
22:16
Speaker 2: Well. I just think sometimes it's funny how much the
22:19
Speaker 2: apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
22:22
Speaker 1: Jess is nodding, and I can see in my proof.
22:24
Speaker 1: I hate that even.
22:25
Speaker 2: More because really, you were just dealing with a miniature
22:28
Speaker 2: version of.
22:28
Speaker 1: Ash I know. That's why I'm frustrated.
22:31
Speaker 2: Why you like this because I'm like you, I know, but.
22:34
Speaker 1: Also I have other activities I do outside of just
22:38
Speaker 1: the things that I get obsessed with. I know how
22:40
Speaker 1: to deviate because I'm an adult, but he's not. But anyway,
22:44
Speaker 1: he seemed to just go to school, Yeah, take these
22:48
Speaker 1: with him and battle. Everything about his life became about these.
22:53
Speaker 2: How are you going to fix this?
22:54
Speaker 1: Well, the problem is that they go to school and
22:57
Speaker 1: now they've started to trade them with each other. But
23:00
Speaker 1: you got to remember, these are six year olds. They
23:01
Speaker 1: don't understand what's fair and what's not fair. So what's
23:05
Speaker 1: popped up is a a bay Blade group chat between parents.
23:11
Speaker 1: Fuck off. Ash has removed himself from the chat immediately.
23:16
Speaker 1: April is so now what it is is parents saying, hey,
23:20
Speaker 1: do you have this one? It was my kids. They've
23:23
Speaker 1: swapped it over. He's upset. So it's become this whole,
23:27
Speaker 1: the whole, like instead of it just being a battle
23:31
Speaker 1: on the with the bay Blade, they're battling each other's emotions.
23:34
Speaker 1: That was deep, that was a T shirt. Put it
23:39
Speaker 1: on a T shirt. That was profound, if anything. And
23:43
Speaker 1: then I've just been alerted to someone is having a
23:45
Speaker 1: birthday party, which is a sleepover Baba bay Blade battle party.
23:50
Speaker 1: Say that again, a sleepover bay Blade battle party. Got
23:53
Speaker 1: it out.
23:54
Speaker 2: That sounds like a lot of fun.
23:56
Speaker 1: It is, but it's the problem is he's a different
24:00
Speaker 1: kid with this thing, and everything about him at home
24:03
Speaker 1: now is grumpy. He's it's like you know when they're like,
24:07
Speaker 1: don't give them one on one screens because they can't regulate.
24:10
Speaker 1: They think what the emotion is they're feeling for the
24:12
Speaker 1: show is what they're dealing with. This is the same thing,
24:17
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. Now do you
24:19
Speaker 1: want advice from me? Well, we don't give advice, Yeah,
24:22
Speaker 1: but to each other. Okay, fire away.
24:24
Speaker 2: You gotta smack him. Fuck I knew it, but wouldn't
24:28
Speaker 2: spoon that shit right up.
24:30
Speaker 1: The fact that we're in all I'm waiting for. And
24:33
Speaker 1: like when you were a kid and there was collectibles
24:35
Speaker 1: around we.
24:36
Speaker 2: Had Taos were big for a while, Marbles were big.
24:38
Speaker 1: For a while. What ends what we happen game at school?
24:41
Speaker 1: What do you know? What ends up happening? It just
24:43
Speaker 1: fades out? Bro, No, they get banned, Okay, things the
24:47
Speaker 1: Pokemon cards got banned because the bigger kids were ripping
24:49
Speaker 1: off the little kids. But my concern.
24:52
Speaker 2: Do you remember going to school and I lost my
24:54
Speaker 2: marbles to the big kids. I was in tears, devastated
24:58
Speaker 2: coming home, and I was.
24:59
Speaker 1: Like, and what happened to your physical marbles? Or was
25:01
Speaker 1: it just yet?
25:02
Speaker 2: That's terrible?
25:03
Speaker 1: Anyway, You're better than that. I'm just a bit upset
25:07
Speaker 1: about it.
25:07
Speaker 2: You got to you got to just wait for this
25:10
Speaker 2: fad to just follow the course of time.
25:12
Speaker 1: Or yes, I could convince him to call his mum
25:16
Speaker 1: a dirty rat again. There he is. I knew we'd
25:20
Speaker 1: get to an answer.
25:21
Speaker 2: Just suddenly dropping in, like, I think we've got rats
25:24
Speaker 2: in the.
25:24
Speaker 1: House, dirty ones and they're little.
25:28
Speaker 2: What do you think, Oscar?
25:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, the dirty little rats heard it? Thank you. But
25:32
Speaker 1: it's like, man, it's every parent at this at school
25:36
Speaker 1: is dealing with the same thing.
25:37
Speaker 2: Well, I'm dealing with other problems myself.
25:39
Speaker 1: Ash, Okay, how dare you just discount my problem? You've
25:44
Speaker 1: been anyway, So the parents that are out there are
25:48
Speaker 1: dealing with it, give tell me how to get rid
25:50
Speaker 1: of them because they are ruining my household.
25:52
Speaker 2: I believe this was meant to be a quick episode.
25:55
Speaker 2: So I don't have the capacity right now to take
25:57
Speaker 2: on anyone else's problems. And I apologize for that. I
25:59
Speaker 2: know you're looking to me for help. I just don't
26:01
Speaker 2: have it in me.
26:02
Speaker 1: I was actually looking for the listener. You took it
26:04
Speaker 1: upon yourself to say, do you want some advice? Just
26:06
Speaker 1: remember that. Okay, Yeah, I was just been polite.
26:08
Speaker 2: I didn't mean it. Okay, good, Okay, I am dealing
26:11
Speaker 2: with a thief.
26:13
Speaker 1: A thief, oh God, is.
26:15
Speaker 2: In the household, and yeah, check your wallet, check your phone.
26:19
Speaker 1: I don't have a wallet. So joke's on them.
26:21
Speaker 2: So Marley at the moment, she gets touch Shop on
26:25
Speaker 2: a Friday, okay, and they's.
26:28
Speaker 1: A lovely treat, isn't Yeah nice.
26:29
Speaker 2: The end of the week you get touch Shop. But
26:32
Speaker 2: sometimes she gets to a Wednesday and she's like please,
26:34
Speaker 2: I've like, it's just this week as dragging on? Can
26:37
Speaker 2: I please have Touch Shop? And I'm like, no, you
26:38
Speaker 2: Can't's not Friday. The ruler is Friday, touch Shop. We
26:40
Speaker 2: can't ben the rules here.
26:41
Speaker 1: What's your touch Shop? Men? You like it's all right?
26:44
Speaker 2: Like cheesy pasta.
26:45
Speaker 1: Do you know what I might do? I might get
26:46
Speaker 1: a screenshot of ours and compare. We can compare. We
26:48
Speaker 1: won't name the schools, of course, because that's a privacy.
26:51
Speaker 2: I like that next week, we can compare people. If
26:53
Speaker 2: you think you have a good touch shop, man, you
26:55
Speaker 2: send it in.
26:55
Speaker 1: Let's compare here, let's compare penises. I mean, sorry, that
27:00
Speaker 1: just came out of me. Well that's right, that's what
27:01
Speaker 1: she said. Anyway, God, I'm back.
27:05
Speaker 2: I said to my I'm like, hey, you cannot there's
27:07
Speaker 2: no touch shop has to be Friday. And I'm like,
27:09
Speaker 2: sticking to that rules, sticking to it.
27:11
Speaker 1: Just great parenting.
27:12
Speaker 2: And then there's a bit of cash in that little
27:15
Speaker 2: basket over there on that bench table in like the
27:17
Speaker 2: basket of all the keys.
27:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, watch it, you mean there was?
27:22
Speaker 2: And I was like, all those fibers have gone. A
27:24
Speaker 2: couple of five dollar notes were in there.
27:26
Speaker 1: And I was like.
27:28
Speaker 2: Mally, did you did you take that money? And She's like, no,
27:32
Speaker 2: absolutely not. I was like, okay, anyway, back at lunch,
27:37
Speaker 2: put in a backpack and I was like, I saw
27:39
Speaker 2: her putting things in the front of the backpack, and
27:41
Speaker 2: so I opened up the front zip. There it was
27:44
Speaker 2: the money. She's put the money in her backpack. And
27:47
Speaker 2: I was like, you lied to me.
27:49
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh yeah, but well I didn't.
27:51
Speaker 1: I don't know how I got there.
27:52
Speaker 2: And I was like, how dare you.
27:54
Speaker 1: It's a slippery slope from there, my friend, that's where
27:56
Speaker 1: that's that's the.
27:57
Speaker 2: Gateway a world of crime away. It's me.
28:01
Speaker 1: It's going to be excited.
28:02
Speaker 2: And I was like I was. I was like, still
28:05
Speaker 2: something good anyway. I was like I was hurt. You know,
28:10
Speaker 2: I was lied to by my child, you know, looking
28:13
Speaker 2: at me in my face, lied directly at me. And
28:16
Speaker 2: I was like, that's it. You know, I'm shocked right now,
28:19
Speaker 2: chocked to the core.
28:20
Speaker 1: Does It's like a dagger the first time, isn't it.
28:22
Speaker 2: And then Nana was like had a bit of a
28:25
Speaker 2: look on her face and I was like, what are
28:26
Speaker 2: you looking at? And she was like, well, you know,
28:30
Speaker 2: you're very upset right now. But I have a memory.
28:32
Speaker 2: Oh god, when I was in Grade one in queens Ane,
28:36
Speaker 2: so pretty much the same age as kids were going
28:37
Speaker 2: to kindy there, we had a little jar in our
28:41
Speaker 2: wardrobe because back in my day, we only had change
28:46
Speaker 2: shrapnel for tuck shop. None of this digital crap is
28:50
Speaker 2: the digital you know what we get?
28:55
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'll fucking fight you. I don't know where she
28:58
Speaker 1: gets it from, so I not really understanding the value
29:04
Speaker 1: of money.
29:04
Speaker 2: I don't know how much money I had, but over
29:06
Speaker 2: a period of time I had taken enough money that
29:09
Speaker 2: when I went to the tuck shop and put my
29:11
Speaker 2: money on the table, I got called immediately into the principals.
29:17
Speaker 1: So do you have a round figure?
29:19
Speaker 2: I have no idea, it's just a lot. Actually, let
29:21
Speaker 2: me just check with that a real quick. None. It
29:29
Speaker 2: doesn't remember.
29:30
Speaker 1: It must have been a lot.
29:31
Speaker 2: Then now it's like, oh god, but I'm thinking it
29:34
Speaker 2: was like one hundred bucks.
29:37
Speaker 1: Wow, I don't know, get called into the principal's office.
29:41
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's like a kid your age should not
29:43
Speaker 1: have this money.
29:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, the person behind the touch shop was like pushing
29:45
Speaker 2: the panic button like it's Conrad.
29:47
Speaker 1: It's got a reverse robbery.
29:50
Speaker 2: So I'm like, shit, you know, it's just history repeating itself. Yeah.
29:57
Speaker 1: I think the theft thing is bad enough at the
30:01
Speaker 1: lying as well, like I think teeth, But when it
30:05
Speaker 1: happens to you from someone so small and innocent, like
30:08
Speaker 1: it's like you just feel a little bit trail there.
30:11
Speaker 1: It is as as you wouldn't get it. You would
30:19
Speaker 1: have had to have stolen to get anyway. Yeah, so
30:22
Speaker 1: what was your cause of action?
30:25
Speaker 2: It was just it was just talking to her. I
30:28
Speaker 2: was like, hold me like this drug the hiles for
30:33
Speaker 2: God to let her know how disappointed I was.
30:36
Speaker 1: I know it's your your disappointment. Tone of voice is
30:39
Speaker 1: very different, isn't it. And you don't even like I
30:43
Speaker 1: was disappointed with Oscar the other day, like like pretty
30:45
Speaker 1: disappointed and I couldn't help myself at my tone was
30:48
Speaker 1: different about it. I was like, buddy, and he just
30:51
Speaker 1: he was different because of it. Did you did? What
30:54
Speaker 1: did she say? She cried?
30:57
Speaker 2: I mean it's her go to get out very I know.
31:00
Speaker 2: I just whenever she's done something wrong, she just turns
31:03
Speaker 2: the water works on and I'm like it works. I'm like,
31:07
Speaker 2: come here, have a cuddle. And I'm like, damn, she's
31:08
Speaker 2: got me again.
31:09
Speaker 1: I know they know what they're doing.
31:11
Speaker 2: And then I'll walk away and what the fuck's my
31:12
Speaker 2: watch gone?
31:17
Speaker 1: Matt. We are bringing something back for now. It's called lies.
31:26
Speaker 2: Tell me loud, tell me little.
31:33
Speaker 1: Now. This is a segment where you make me laugh.
31:36
Speaker 1: Thank you you make me laugh. I'm so glad you're.
31:38
Speaker 2: A funny man.
31:39
Speaker 1: You're a funny man. You're a funny man.
31:42
Speaker 2: Now.
31:42
Speaker 1: If you are new to this segment, it is where
31:45
Speaker 1: you send in the little harmless white lines you tell
31:49
Speaker 1: your kids. I don't know. Here's one, for example, the
31:51
Speaker 1: park's closed the classic because you don't want to you
31:54
Speaker 1: don't want to go.
31:55
Speaker 2: It's you know, as parents, we do whatever means necessary
31:59
Speaker 2: to try to avoid, to melt down a tantrum, to
32:01
Speaker 2: get our children to bloody listen to us just once, Okay.
32:05
Speaker 2: The only way to do that is to scare them,
32:07
Speaker 2: threaten them. Love that or lie and lie by lying,
32:10
Speaker 2: Threatened by lying, threatened.
32:11
Speaker 1: By lying, yeah, I like it, threatened by lying. Sorry,
32:14
Speaker 1: we're going to read off a couple that we've been sent.
32:17
Speaker 1: I'll start. Okay. He's a really simple one that can
32:20
Speaker 1: be used in any context whatsoever. It's simple. It'll catch
32:26
Speaker 1: on fire. Okay, Okay, here's an example. And my kids
32:29
Speaker 1: are really good at this. They're good at like leaving
32:31
Speaker 1: the toys hanging around. It's like, if you leave it
32:33
Speaker 1: hanging around, it'll catch nice and simple, eat your dinner,
32:40
Speaker 1: it'll catch catch on fire.
32:43
Speaker 2: Until the kids are like this house is so flammable.
32:47
Speaker 1: Wonder why all these kids turn to ask us like, well,
32:50
Speaker 1: I also everything catches on fire.
32:53
Speaker 2: This is a great one. Okay, we're going to keep
32:55
Speaker 2: this anonymous because I did tell people that send it
32:58
Speaker 2: through you'll be anonymous.
33:00
Speaker 1: And you get the better results when they're anonymous. People
33:03
Speaker 1: judging my parenting, and we wouldn't judge. We would never
33:06
Speaker 1: stop winking at me. This one is if your child
33:11
Speaker 1: is struggling to go to school, you can tell them
33:14
Speaker 1: they need five days of consecutive school days and if
33:17
Speaker 1: they do that, they get two days off. Yes, I'm
33:21
Speaker 1: going to use that actually, just because it a point
33:23
Speaker 1: now where he's like, oh god, oh five days. I
33:27
Speaker 1: always my lie is when they don't want to go,
33:29
Speaker 1: I'm like, well I've used this. So he was a
33:31
Speaker 1: lock in the laundry. Well that's more of a threat
33:34
Speaker 1: than a lie. What that gets him to school pretty quick,
33:37
Speaker 1: don't you worry? Because he's scared of the washing machine.
33:39
Speaker 1: And that's the trick. If that's the trick, you've got
33:42
Speaker 1: to make them scared of the washing machine so that
33:44
Speaker 1: when you threaten that, they really don't want to go
33:47
Speaker 1: in there. Because it's not.
33:48
Speaker 2: A lie, that's that's just a blatant threat threat.
33:52
Speaker 1: Well, I teld him to eat him.
33:57
Speaker 2: Fucking hell. I'm not judging.
33:59
Speaker 1: I'm a good I'm self proclaimed good dad. Okay, moving on.
34:07
Speaker 2: If you ever get your kids taken away from you,
34:10
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
34:11
Speaker 1: Don't put that out in the universe. Actually come and
34:13
Speaker 1: get them quick. Let me cry off. I'll be fine
34:16
Speaker 1: to get you back. Cancel promise. That's a lie. See
34:20
Speaker 1: when I did that. Yeah, he's a good one. This
34:24
Speaker 1: is There's been variations of this one, but this one
34:27
Speaker 1: is like when the little one sees a lollipop in
34:30
Speaker 1: the shop that rhymes, I say that we can't have one,
34:34
Speaker 1: as they've been sold to others pre purchased, very pre ordered.
34:40
Speaker 1: Some might say, I love that.
34:41
Speaker 2: Okay. This one's from Sandy. She said you can say
34:44
Speaker 2: my name, say my name, samon name. Sandy says you're
34:48
Speaker 2: allergic to McDonald's.
34:53
Speaker 1: Oh man, that is good because it sticks with them.
34:58
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why. One time I to get
35:00
Speaker 1: a little rash from pineapple. And now he just tells
35:03
Speaker 1: everyone thats allergic to pineapple. So if you're like, you're
35:05
Speaker 1: allergic to me donald, He'll just tell everybody. Oh that
35:07
Speaker 1: is good gear.
35:08
Speaker 2: Okay, this one's from Amber and she just says to
35:11
Speaker 2: her kids, if you don't shower, you go moldy.
35:15
Speaker 1: Kind of true, though it's a different type of mold kids.
35:19
Speaker 2: There's an element of truth to that.
35:20
Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, I've got one fresh from April, which was
35:25
Speaker 1: so she would go to the gym really in the morning,
35:28
Speaker 1: come home and she would shower. But she'll get home
35:31
Speaker 1: and the kids hear the door, get up, run, chase
35:35
Speaker 1: to get a card for mum, and she'd be like, oh,
35:37
Speaker 1: I'm going to go have a shower. And what was
35:38
Speaker 1: happening was they were like, we want to come in
35:40
Speaker 1: and shower with you. And then so now she's just
35:42
Speaker 1: started to tell them there's only cold water left. I know,
35:47
Speaker 1: I was like that and I was half asleep when
35:50
Speaker 1: she said that. She's like, oh, there's only cold water,
35:52
Speaker 1: and I was like, who hasn't paid the hot water bill? Yeah,
35:57
Speaker 1: so that's a good that's a good little one from April.
35:59
Speaker 2: If you have any prenting lives, please send them in.
36:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'd love to love to hear them and like,
36:04
Speaker 1: don't be this guy where we say we want lies
36:07
Speaker 1: and they just rub. It's spicy fucking times. That's the
36:12
Speaker 1: oldest one.
36:13
Speaker 2: Jesus Kevin, give us something original.
36:14
Speaker 1: It works.
36:16
Speaker 2: Before we go into the two questions that we have
36:18
Speaker 2: a little throwback. Two episodes ago, we had hand Hannah
36:23
Speaker 2: Hannah two ends, wasn't it to Hanna? She asked about
36:27
Speaker 2: when is the right time to have kids? And she
36:29
Speaker 2: was asking if we were happy with our decision of
36:31
Speaker 2: how old we were when we had kids.
36:33
Speaker 1: I was thirty two, thirty two, because you're thirty eight now, yeah,
36:38
Speaker 1: how old are you? I'm thirty five. Yeah.
36:40
Speaker 2: We gave our responses and we thought we would throw
36:42
Speaker 2: it to our wives. So this is what Laura had said. Yes,
36:47
Speaker 2: how old was that? Thirty three?
36:50
Speaker 1: If I was any younger, I wouldn't have had them
36:52
Speaker 1: with you, so because it would have been with someone
36:55
Speaker 1: else and that would have been probably not as good.
36:57
Speaker 2: But we were together for three years.
36:58
Speaker 1: We were really together. Friend, you when broken?
37:01
Speaker 2: What are the pros and tons of the age of kids?
37:05
Speaker 1: Just being able to make the mistakes in my twenties
37:08
Speaker 1: and not pro create with the wrong person. Yeah, thirty
37:11
Speaker 1: three is great.
37:12
Speaker 2: Probably thirty one?
37:13
Speaker 1: Thirty one is good? Was there thirty one?
37:15
Speaker 2: No, we've met when I was thirty one, what I
37:18
Speaker 2: had Yeah, yeah, thirty there is a great year.
37:21
Speaker 1: I think we had kids at the right time, even
37:24
Speaker 1: though it was a surprise to April. And she can
37:27
Speaker 1: give her answer to the question in which we have
37:29
Speaker 1: just read out.
37:31
Speaker 2: No, not at all.
37:33
Speaker 1: Okay.
37:33
Speaker 3: I don't think there is a right age. I think
37:36
Speaker 3: there's a right moment, but not a right age.
37:39
Speaker 1: What's the moment.
37:40
Speaker 3: The moment is when you and your your partner agreed
37:44
Speaker 3: are going to have Yes, the moments when mummy and
37:47
Speaker 3: daddy love each other. No, you don't have to be
37:49
Speaker 3: married and doesn't have to be a mummy ummy.
37:51
Speaker 1: It can be a daddyduddy. Okay, so you're saying it
37:57
Speaker 1: just when it feels right. Yeah, said, look, there's probably
38:01
Speaker 1: a little too young. Okay. I don't know.
38:04
Speaker 3: I don't want to get canceled.
38:06
Speaker 1: It can be a bit woo woo.
38:07
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say anything, but she's becoming a
38:09
Speaker 2: little bit woo boo.
38:10
Speaker 1: She had crystals for a while there. Ah, And I'm like,
38:17
Speaker 1: so the opposite that I would bag it and then
38:19
Speaker 1: we'd always have fights over it, and like and then
38:22
Speaker 1: I'd be like, why don't you consult your Crystal, and
38:25
Speaker 1: she didn't appreciate that either.
38:27
Speaker 2: I'm sure she's gonna love it being brought up in
38:29
Speaker 2: the podcast.
38:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, too late. Now, okay, I've got a question for you,
38:35
Speaker 1: Matt from Renee.
38:36
Speaker 2: Hit me your silly little bugger.
38:39
Speaker 1: That's the sort of energy I want all the time.
38:41
Speaker 1: Go on, hit me, silly little Bugger's perfect things. I
38:45
Speaker 1: wish I knew before having a baby. Is there anything
38:49
Speaker 1: Matt that you wish you knew? Oh?
38:51
Speaker 2: How long have we got? There was a lot I
38:55
Speaker 2: wish I knew. Ash there was a lot. I think,
38:58
Speaker 2: I just I think I wish I knew just how
39:03
Speaker 2: much of an emotional roller coaster it is being a parent.
39:07
Speaker 2: You know, when you got your kids all day, Like
39:10
Speaker 2: talking about weekends specifically when you're with them from like
39:13
Speaker 2: sunrise to sunset, it's too long. It's a very long time. Yeah,
39:21
Speaker 2: first of all, how much you kind of hate weekends
39:23
Speaker 2: when you're become an adult, Bro.
39:25
Speaker 1: I could work seven days a week now when you're
39:27
Speaker 1: in your.
39:27
Speaker 2: Twenties, You're like, it's a Friday. Now, it's like, damn it,
39:32
Speaker 2: Sunday night. The dream.
39:33
Speaker 1: I wish I knew how bad it was to be
39:35
Speaker 1: hungover with a child. That is also very true. That's
39:38
Speaker 1: not my answer.
39:39
Speaker 2: But throughout the day it's such a wild mix of
39:43
Speaker 2: like having a beautiful moment where your child is looking
39:46
Speaker 2: at you, giving you that little bit of affection, saying Daddy,
39:48
Speaker 2: I love you, and you think to yourself like, this
39:50
Speaker 2: is what it's all about, having these special little moments
39:53
Speaker 2: where you can connect, have a moment with your child,
39:56
Speaker 2: and it's what makes it all worth while. But at
39:58
Speaker 2: the same time, when you're playing a game and you
40:00
Speaker 2: touch the wrong toy.
40:01
Speaker 1: They're like, what is it?
40:04
Speaker 2: Storm off? They have a meltdown, and it's just it
40:07
Speaker 2: is like that from irrational.
40:10
Speaker 1: They are very rational. And we did say this a
40:12
Speaker 1: while ago. It's like having it's like owning a drunk person. Yes,
40:17
Speaker 1: they're so irrational. Yeah, there's so the mood swings. They
40:21
Speaker 1: won't eat and then they won't go to bed. It's like,
40:23
Speaker 1: go to bed, your piss head.
40:26
Speaker 2: Like fuck. Like I always think back whenever I pick
40:29
Speaker 2: them up from daycare, it's always great, they're elated, okay,
40:33
Speaker 2: And it's just from the moment I pick them up
40:35
Speaker 2: to when I get them home, there's been three meltdowns.
40:37
Speaker 2: Dinner another three meltdowns and then when they have a meltdown'
40:41
Speaker 2: trying to make them laugh to get over the melt down.
40:43
Speaker 2: You do that, you know, another meltdown. It's just around
40:45
Speaker 2: the corner. It's just it's it's like it's exhausting.
40:49
Speaker 1: And it's also I just rescue you from that prison. Okay,
40:51
Speaker 1: I'll send you right back. I'll send you right back
40:53
Speaker 1: tomorrow morning. Don't you worry about that for me, other
40:56
Speaker 1: than the hangover thing, which yeah, I wasn't prepared for that.
41:01
Speaker 1: If I'm honest, I am now I'm pissed fit now anyway.
41:06
Speaker 1: The other one was when we were going through the
41:08
Speaker 1: process of ever being pregnant. Is no one told me
41:13
Speaker 1: I was going to get seasick. Every time we did
41:15
Speaker 1: a ultrasound you, I couldn't look at it.
41:20
Speaker 2: Was he touching you or what happened?
41:22
Speaker 1: No, I was just watching it on the screen. The notion.
41:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, I'm going to you'd have to
41:28
Speaker 2: have like the called qualita.
41:30
Speaker 1: No, I just shut my eyes hope for the best.
41:33
Speaker 2: Your child, and you're there looking in the corner.
41:35
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It just made me every time I
41:38
Speaker 1: was like queasy, seasick, so weird. I'm probably the only
41:42
Speaker 1: person on earth that's happened to you, right.
41:43
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's happened to you and you're listening.
41:45
Speaker 1: Please please, I would love to feel not alone. I
41:48
Speaker 1: would love to be validated by one other person saying yeah,
41:51
Speaker 1: me too, bro Solidarity.
41:53
Speaker 2: Our last one asked this from Jess, and she just says, Jess,
41:58
Speaker 2: the fact that you're surely you can't be serious this question.
42:01
Speaker 2: But she wants to know. How do you get a
42:03
Speaker 2: three year old to listen?
42:04
Speaker 1: You don't end off. That's why they call them three
42:07
Speaker 1: and ages, just like a preparation for when they're teenagers,
42:10
Speaker 1: and they definitely don't listen.
42:12
Speaker 2: Do you know what I was told? Though? Okay, Marley's six,
42:15
Speaker 2: so this kind of applies.
42:16
Speaker 1: So she's three times two. Very good there. He is
42:19
Speaker 1: like three two three year olds.
42:20
Speaker 2: So I've got two three year olds. I will say
42:23
Speaker 2: to her, Hey, Marley, you've got to eat your breakfast. Marley,
42:25
Speaker 2: eat your breakfast. Marley, you have to eat your breakfast.
42:28
Speaker 1: My way eat your breakfast.
42:30
Speaker 2: Laura is like, what you need to do is you
42:32
Speaker 2: need to touch them. You tap them on the shoulder,
42:36
Speaker 2: and that will then make them aware of you're trying
42:39
Speaker 2: to reach out to them, but when you're just saying
42:41
Speaker 2: these words are so locked in they don't have the
42:42
Speaker 2: mental capacity to like stop what they're doing, understand that
42:46
Speaker 2: you're trying to interact with them. So you have to
42:48
Speaker 2: touch them on the shoulder. So I smack her. I
42:51
Speaker 2: try and speak to her, and it's working great.
42:54
Speaker 1: I try and be like, look at me, look at me,
42:56
Speaker 1: and ask that eyes like on the sixth beer exactly.
43:03
Speaker 1: It's like owning a drunk person. That's it. But be
43:06
Speaker 1: one with the drunk.
43:07
Speaker 2: If they're again, any parents out there, if you if
43:12
Speaker 2: you're honestly, if you're hand on hard, if you are
43:16
Speaker 2: happy right, if you were happy, you were sane, and
43:20
Speaker 2: you're able to talk to your children and get them
43:23
Speaker 2: to listen to you without you raising your voice. Please,
43:26
Speaker 2: oh my god, well please, if you are one of
43:28
Speaker 2: those people, reach out to us and tell us, tell
43:31
Speaker 2: us how you're doing it.
43:32
Speaker 1: I think they exist, surely not. Can I ask you this,
43:35
Speaker 1: how's Laura going with the touching on the shoulder and talking?
43:37
Speaker 1: Is it working? Checking guarantee you it's not.
43:40
Speaker 2: I don't think. Maybe I've actually I don't know.
43:45
Speaker 1: There's only one thing that works on when you get
43:47
Speaker 1: to that point and you're fucking yelling, it goes from
43:51
Speaker 1: a request to a demand.
43:53
Speaker 2: You have to you have to demand.
43:54
Speaker 1: So it's like Oscar can put your shoes on, Oscar
43:57
Speaker 1: shoes please, Oscar, and then you just go into one
43:59
Speaker 1: word Oscar shoes. Get to that point and then if
44:04
Speaker 1: he's not doing it, I'm like, put your shoes on, now, Ron.
44:10
Speaker 2: That's very concerned right now. Actually, do you know, actually
44:13
Speaker 2: you know what we should do?
44:14
Speaker 1: Yep.
44:16
Speaker 2: If you've enjoy this episode, leave a review, leave review review.
44:23
Speaker 1: I can see the numbers going up now now review
44:26
Speaker 1: just single words, yeah, very good. Otherwise you can see
44:29
Speaker 1: us on socials, Dads, two Doting Dads, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, now,
44:36
Speaker 1: the Facebook group join it TikTok, you said TikTok, I
44:39
Speaker 1: said TikTok.
44:40
Speaker 3: Yeah.
44:40
Speaker 1: But yeah, like that's right. If you can talk to
44:41
Speaker 1: your kids about yelling and then they don't need to
44:43
Speaker 1: those people I refuse to do what thing exist? Yeah,
44:46
Speaker 1: but you can join us there. Otherwise we're getting out
44:48
Speaker 1: of here again.
44:49
Speaker 2: When you're listening to this, Ash is going to be
44:51
Speaker 2: in Bali.
44:52
Speaker 1: No, we're back. Oh god, ignore that part. We'll take that.
44:56
Speaker 2: We'll take that part out.
44:57
Speaker 1: I can go again if you like. It'll be great.
44:59
Speaker 2: No kids, hope you've had a good holiday. Thank you
45:02
Speaker 2: for the next episode. We'll talk about your barrow trip, all.
45:04
Speaker 1: Right, Thank you very much anytime now.
45:15
Speaker 2: It's not coming. Dammit, looking forward to that one.
45:17
Speaker 1: And look like you're gear absolute Headward's cough was seizing.
45:27
Speaker 2: The two Doting Dance podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
45:33
Speaker 2: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
45:37
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
45:40
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight land
45:43
Speaker 1: the people's today,