Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Talking about what you dislike.

Transcript

Talking about what you dislike. · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:02
  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
• 0:04
  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
• 0:08
  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
• 0:11
  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
• 0:14
  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
• 0:17
  You could ever imagine join Kim. Every morning from one of her.
• 0:20
  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
• 0:23
  chickens. Hey everybody.
• 0:28
  Good morning from the chicken coop.
• 0:30
  So today we are talking about why we choose to focus on the
• 0:36
  things. We don't like so much, it's an
• 0:38
  inherent problem. That I think most of us don't
• 0:41
  even realize we do. And we talked a lot about the
• 0:44
  things we don't like we talked a lot about the stuff that, oh, I
• 0:47
  don't like that food. I don't like that restaurant.
• 0:49
  I don't like going there and don't like driving this way.
• 0:51
  I don't like that parking spot. I don't like I don't like I
• 0:54
  don't like I don't like and we don't even realize how many
• 0:58
  times we say the words, I don't like You know this came to light
• 1:02
  for me because I said I was going to be doing a challenge
• 1:05
  with myself about losing any conversation from my dialogue
• 1:11
  during the day that happened to be more towards things that I
• 1:15
  didn't like that that I was necessarily in the framework of
• 1:18
  negativity, my own head that's what I was saying but of course
• 1:21
  it is - but I thought okay I'm going to just pay attention to
• 1:24
  this. I'm going to really check it out
• 1:25
  and see how much of this I really do.
• 1:28
  And after doing it for a couple days, I was actually shocked.
• 1:30
  How much I was saying? I don't like that or that
• 1:33
  doesn't work for me. And it was emotionally.
• 1:37
  Moving me in directions, that I didn't like.
• 1:40
  I was sitting there saying to myself multiple times, this is
• 1:46
  this is silly. Why am I doing this?
• 1:47
  Why am I so focused on things that I don't like when clearly I
• 1:50
  want to be in a position of choosing things that you know,
• 1:54
  are much more towards stuff that I do like but it's a, it's such
• 1:59
  a habit, it's habitual. We do it over and over and over.
• 2:02
  And for some of us, it becomes so much of our identity that we
• 2:06
  start talking about it because it's, who we think we are.
• 2:11
  Well, it's not who we are at our core.
• 2:13
  It's not who we are at our soul, but it is a learned behavior,
• 2:16
  and it is how we identify over things.
• 2:19
  So, we give you an example. Have you ever been in line at
• 2:21
  the grocery store and you're waiting and the person's
• 2:25
  checking you out and it's slow and they're Chang and you don't
• 2:30
  say you see any people and they look like they want to talk to
• 2:33
  you. And when you start chatting with
• 2:34
  them, 9 times out of 10, it's a complaint about The fact that
• 2:39
  it's going so slow. It's a man.
• 2:42
  I wish they'd open more laying. This is ridiculous.
• 2:45
  A negative comment arguing about things that in your head that
• 2:50
  are - again, we don't sit there and say, hey, how was your day?
• 2:53
  We don't take a bright spot in the moment of pause while we're
• 2:58
  in line and say how can I turn this into someone's bright
• 3:01
  Moment by me, asking them about them.
• 3:04
  Nope, We complain about it. We find common ground to
• 3:06
  complain about. We create a Enemy that we can
• 3:09
  complain about in our common enemy As We complain about it
• 3:13
  gives us the feeling of being able to connect.
• 3:17
  But why the hell do we want to connect over negativity?
• 3:20
  I mean, think about it, we are clearly connecting over
• 3:23
  something, - it happens. Not just there.
• 3:26
  When you meet up with a friend, how often do you just start to
• 3:29
  talk about the positive things instead of the negative things?
• 3:33
  How's it going? Oh, it's tough out there.
• 3:35
  Every, you know, why what Is the reason that that shows up so
• 3:41
  much and the answer the true answer is that because we have
• 3:47
  created habits out of it and we get attention for, what's not
• 3:51
  working and for what's wrong. And it makes us Less than
• 3:58
  appealing to people but we do all do it.
• 4:01
  So it doesn't seem like it's a bad thing because everybody else
• 4:05
  is doing it. But the reality is, when people
• 4:08
  are thinking of you, do you want them thinking of you as a
• 4:12
  complainer? Do you want them thinking of you
• 4:13
  as the person that says, oh God, you know, this is, this is
• 4:17
  terrible. This is wrong.
• 4:18
  I don't like this or you know, this, this sucks.
• 4:20
  I wish it was this way or blah, blah blah.
• 4:22
  I mean there's so many different ways that that can go.
• 4:25
  Go. So why does it have to go - only
• 4:28
  because that's the frame of mind that has been put in the
• 4:32
  driver's seat? That's the habitual place that
• 4:35
  we go. So let's take this on as a
• 4:40
  Lesson to be learned from observation.
• 4:44
  Most people will consciously say oh I don't want to be around
• 4:47
  complainers, I don't want to be around negative people.
• 4:50
  Let's take this on as a lesson that we don't want to be those
• 4:53
  negative people. Let's take this on as a point of
• 4:56
  reference for ourselves that this will help us up level
• 4:59
  ourselves by allowing this Habit to dwindle and go away.
• 5:04
  You know, somebody asked me not long ago, I've got this really
• 5:07
  bad habit of saying a certain And I'm trying to get rid of
• 5:10
  this certain word. What's a way to do it.
• 5:13
  You know, a simple technique that you can do is put a rubber
• 5:17
  band on one wrist and when you say the word, you catch yourself
• 5:22
  saying the word, you snap the rubber band and you switch the
• 5:25
  wrists, and you keep going back and forth, back and forth, back
• 5:28
  and forth, every time you catch yourself, you snap the band on
• 5:31
  yourself and you go to the other wrist.
• 5:33
  This is a way to teach you eventually.
• 5:36
  Your wrist hurts if you do it enough.
• 5:38
  But this, this little technique Really does work.
• 5:41
  And it's a visual that's right there because you can see your
• 5:43
  own hands. So it's a great little visual to
• 5:46
  help you. Now, you don't have to snap your
• 5:48
  hands with a rubber band you can just have it there and you see
• 5:51
  it and then you move it to the other hand.
• 5:53
  Even if you've got like one of those rubber bracelets and you
• 5:56
  just switch it back and forth. So it's acknowledging.
• 5:58
  Hey I've been switching this damn thing all day long.
• 6:01
  I must be saying this word a lot, but anything that you can
• 6:04
  do to help yourself I have one client who will put tallies on
• 6:08
  the board so that they See how many times they tally during the
• 6:12
  day about something and, you know, that's not a bad idea.
• 6:15
  I will say it's not a bad idea but you just got to make sure
• 6:18
  you keep track of the tallies. So it's really up to you how you
• 6:22
  want to do it. But whatever way you do, it keep
• 6:23
  track of this challenge yourself to catch yourself as many times
• 6:27
  as you can and correct the problem because nobody wants to
• 6:30
  be the complainer and nobody wants to hang out with the
• 6:33
  complainer. I know you've heard me say this
• 6:35
  before, but don't argue for your limitations.
• 6:37
  Talk about the great things don't.
• 6:39
  Be the person that sits there and says, oh, I don't like this,
• 6:42
  and I don't like that, and I don't like this, and I don't
• 6:44
  like that, and I don't want to go there that dada.
• 6:46
  Dada, nobody wants to be that person don't choose to be that
• 6:49
  person and don't argue for the limitations argue for your
• 6:52
  greatness, put your energy somewhere worthwhile and I will
• 6:55
  see you guys tomorrow. Have a very blessed day.
• 6:58
  Bye.