Latest / The Psychic Explorer / First Mediumship Service: The Fear Before & the Evidence After 🔮

Transcript

First Mediumship Service: The Fear Before & the Evidence After 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:08
Hello everyone and welcome to this first solo
0:11
episode of 2026. I hope you're well. I hope you
0:15
are... I hope you've lost all your Christmas
0:18
weight. I unfortunately have not, but hey, if
0:21
you can't indulge your Christmas at the festive
0:23
season, then when the heck can you? That's what
0:26
I say. I really hope you are well. And what a
0:29
strange time of year this is. I feel like I have
0:33
been living in limbo for the past three weeks.
0:36
I had two weeks off for the festive season for
0:39
Christmas and New Year's. Went down to see the
0:40
in -laws. That was very nice. And then that very
0:43
strange... in between Christmas and New Year's,
0:46
that Twitmas. It felt like just never -ending
0:49
Sundays. We were all prepared to go back to work
0:51
on Monday the 5th of Jan. but the weather had
0:55
other ideas. The wind shifted and blew in from
0:57
the north, bringing with it snow and sleet and
1:01
ice and more snow. We had another unplanned week.
1:07
We were fully prepared to go back to work, but
1:09
of course, being gardeners, there's no way we
1:12
can really work in the snow. We had three weeks
1:16
off. And so I'm sat here on Monday the 12th of
1:19
Jan, ready to go to work. However, my first client
1:23
counseled. So last night when I got that text
1:25
message from my client saying that they weren't
1:27
going to be around and not to worry about going
1:29
to see them today, I was like, oh my God, am
1:32
I ever going to go back to work? What's going
1:35
on? To be honest, it's been a really lovely few
1:39
weeks off because we have just stopped. We've
1:43
completely... relaxed into the sofa. There's
1:47
two indents in our sofa, one matte shape and
1:49
one Simon shaped and it's been such a nice time
1:52
just to stop. But also me being me, me being
1:57
the thinker and always thinking of something
2:01
to do, there's been a quiet worry in the background
2:03
because tomorrow on Tuesday the 13th of January
2:09
I will be... performing, delivering. I don't
2:13
really quite know what the proper terminology
2:16
is, but I will be doing my very first full service.
2:22
Nicola Gigi, the lovely lady who runs my face
2:24
-to -face circle, she also runs Norfolk Spiritual
2:27
Center, and she puts local services on every
2:30
fortnight, and she has guest mediums come in
2:32
each time to give some of their philosophy, to
2:35
give an opening prayer, and of course to demonstrate
2:37
mediumship. And... Probably actually it was like
2:41
August, September time and she asked me if I
2:44
wanted to perform, I don't know if that's the
2:48
right word, but she asked me if I wanted to demonstrate,
2:52
there you go, to demonstrate at her center the
2:55
first service of the year. And at the time I
2:58
was like, yeah, okay, great, go for it, you put
2:59
me down. Didn't really think too much about it
3:03
because I had done a couple of services with
3:07
her. the emphasis on the word with there. I didn't
3:12
manage it. I didn't head it up. So that was all
3:14
Nicola. Instead, I just gave a one or two messages.
3:19
And there have been previous episodes where I've
3:21
spoken about my first platform event. So you
3:24
can go back and listen to that. But this is my
3:27
first proper service. And as the hour approaches,
3:33
I'm finding I'm getting more and more nervous
3:35
and This podcast is nothing but a true reflection
3:39
on my experiences stepping down this path of
3:44
mediumship and psychic work. I am so very nervous.
3:49
However, I've just come off the phone to Nicola,
3:53
who has put my mind at rest, mind at ease, who
3:57
has basically said to me, Matt, stop and just
4:01
breathe. I have been working myself up because
4:06
in these services, the normal structure of it
4:10
goes is that there's an opening prayer and then
4:14
the person who is delivering the demonstration
4:16
gives five, 10, 15 minutes of philosophy, inspired
4:22
speaking, inspired talk. And it's the prayer
4:26
and it's the talking that's making me nervous.
4:29
I'm not too worried about mediumship, which is
4:31
weird because Me being me, I thought that would
4:34
be the most, well not the most, it is the most
4:37
important bit, but it's the part that I probably
4:41
would have thought I'd have gotten most nervous
4:42
about. But between Christmas and now, I've been
4:45
attending a couple of online circles, and it's
4:48
been nice because I've suddenly realized that
4:49
there are so many open circles available online.
4:52
Even if you don't class yourself as having any
4:54
ability, there are so many different places you
4:56
can go and just be a sitter and receive messages
4:59
and help developing mediums develop their craft.
5:03
Likewise, if you are developing, then you can
5:05
just log on to these free open circles and deliver
5:08
a message that you feel you are getting through,
5:11
that you are channeling. I've done this a few
5:13
times over the past couple of weeks, and each
5:15
time I've done it... the messages have come through
5:18
really strong and I've been able to deliver a
5:20
message which has meant something to the sitter
5:23
and they've been able to recognize the person
5:27
I feel I am bringing through. For me, that's
5:29
great. I don't feel like I'm particularly worried
5:32
about that, but the thing that I'm worried about
5:34
is the prayer. The thing that I'm worried about
5:36
is the philosophy, is the inspires talking. I
5:39
know what topic I'm going to be talking about.
5:44
I was laying in bed a few nights ago, probably
5:47
about a week or so ago actually, I was lying
5:49
in bed and sometimes I suffer from insomnia.
5:52
It's something that is inherent in my dad's side
5:55
of my family. My dad suffers from it, my auntie
5:58
suffers from it and that's very nicely been passed
6:01
on to me. So for Christmas my other half gave
6:05
me or bought me this, it's called like a calm
6:08
stone. you hold it in your palm and it's electric
6:13
and you turn it on and it's sort of... it doesn't
6:16
give you an electric shock but it sort of just
6:20
sends impulses into your hand and apparently
6:23
if you hold it in your left hand your left palm
6:26
is connected to your circadic rhythm and when
6:29
you hold this device in your hand and it sends
6:32
these energetic shocks or waves through your
6:36
palm it's supposed to... calm your system and
6:39
allow you to fall to sleep and I was drifting
6:43
off to sleep with this thing sort of buzzing
6:45
and pulsating in my palm and it was really therapeutic
6:50
and suddenly I was it's almost as if I was stood
6:52
in front of all the people that I'm gonna be
6:54
stood in front of tomorrow night and these ideas
6:57
and these themes were coming to my mind and I
7:00
thought I must write this down and by the time
7:01
that I had formulated my thoughts enough I was
7:06
asleep. And I woke up the next day thinking,
7:11
I know there was something, I know there was
7:13
something I was supposed to remember last night.
7:16
And over the past couple of days, it sort of
7:18
come back to me and drips and drips. So I've
7:19
been writing it down and I've been writing it
7:22
down and I've been getting myself really frustrated
7:24
because I'm not able to remember it word for
7:27
word, what I've written down here. And I just
7:28
thought, that is not gonna work for you, Matt.
7:31
That is not gonna work. You need to just take
7:35
the theme of it. and go with it tomorrow. I've
7:39
written down paragraphs of what I would like
7:41
to say, but I have to be honest, my brain does
7:44
not work this way. I cannot recall information
7:47
like this. I'm a good writer. I can write things
7:50
down clearly. I'm a good wordsmith. However,
7:54
I can't recall that I'm not an actor. I don't
7:56
have the brain to be able to recall words and
7:59
information that I have previously planned. And
8:02
I was getting myself really worked up because
8:05
I was very conscious, or I am very conscious,
8:08
that the more I rely and the more I focus on
8:11
my notes, the less valid, the less, not valid,
8:16
but the less authentic the message could come
8:19
across. I'll give you an example. On one of the
8:24
online circles that I've attended over the past
8:26
couple of weeks, You have to sort of wait your
8:29
turn to give your message because there are other
8:32
people in the room delivering messages one at
8:34
a time if you feel that you want to Give a message.
8:38
You've got to raise your virtual hand. And so
8:41
I'm sat there I'm thinking I'm getting a message
8:43
through here. I'm getting something really quite
8:46
strong So I wrote it down in my just just the
8:49
general gist of what I was getting I put my virtual
8:51
hand up and it wasn't long before it was my time
8:54
to speak and I was running through my notes and
8:57
I was reconnecting with this person who I felt
8:59
I was channeling, and we eventually whittled
9:04
it down to the person whose message it was supposed
9:06
to be, and she was able to receive it. She ended
9:10
up being really touched and affected by the message,
9:13
affected in a positive way and in a calm and
9:15
in a healing way, which I was really pleased
9:18
with. I delivered my message and I thought, oh,
9:20
should I do another one? And part of me was like,
9:23
oh, no, just that's it. You've proven you can
9:26
do it. It's been two weeks since you've last
9:28
done this. You've proven you can get back into
9:30
it. But I thought, no, push myself. So I sat
9:33
with myself and I just wrote again a few more
9:36
notes about someone else that I felt I was getting
9:39
through. And I put my virtual hand up again.
9:42
And this time it took a little bit longer for
9:44
me to be chosen. There was a few more people
9:46
ahead of me. And by the time that I was chosen,
9:50
I had completely lost the link to this person
9:53
and I solely relied on the notes. And compared
9:58
to the first message I gave, it was so much more
10:01
of a slog. And I always say no matter what you
10:05
do in mediumship, no matter what you do in life,
10:07
I suppose, even if you get it wrong, it's still
10:11
an opportunity to learn. and I thought, right,
10:13
I've learned something now. I was relying too
10:15
much on my notes and I knew I was. There was
10:17
a few people in the room that I knew from my
10:20
face -to -face self and I was messaging them,
10:21
I was texting them, I was saying, I know what
10:23
I've done wrong, I've relied on my notes too
10:25
much and I didn't tap into that person again.
10:28
I just presumed that they had stepped away. And
10:31
I know that if I had just taken my time and just
10:33
tried to reconnect with that energy, with that
10:35
person, that that message would have been taken.
10:40
quicker because I'd have been able to describe
10:42
that person much more simply, much better than
10:46
I had had I just relied on my notes, which is
10:50
what I did. And that's a lesson for me here.
10:53
So I just got off the phone with Nicola and I
10:56
just told her all this and she said, Matt, you
10:59
need to... close your book, as long as you come
11:01
tomorrow with an idea of what you want to say
11:04
and you just talk. She reassured me that once
11:08
I get going, I'll be absolutely fine. I'm not
11:11
personally, this is the thing I thought I'd be
11:14
most concerned about is delivering the messages.
11:16
But the experiences I had over the past couple
11:19
of weeks with the online circles reassures me
11:22
that that's not going to be a problem. The problem
11:26
I feel is going to be the talking. It's going
11:28
to be the nervousness of getting up and speaking
11:30
in front of, I don't know, 20, 30 people or so.
11:33
I mean, it might not even be that. It might be,
11:35
it's January. People might not want to come out
11:37
in the cold and the wet. But if they do, I'm
11:41
going to stand up in front of these people and
11:43
talk from my heart. And I want to do it, but
11:47
there is that nervousness that goes with it.
11:50
And I'm not going to kid myself. I'm not going
11:51
to kid you to say, oh, you know, it's fine. I'll
11:54
be fine. No, this is scary. This is really nerve
11:58
wracking. Oh, also, just to make things even
12:02
more nerve wracking than they already are, guess
12:05
who else is coming to tomorrow? Simon. This will
12:09
be the first time that he sees me work like this.
12:13
He saw it on the calendar last week because it's
12:14
been on the calendar for a while. And he said,
12:17
oh, I'm going to come along and support you.
12:19
And I looked at him and I said, no, you're not.
12:21
He said, yeah, I am. I want to come and support
12:24
you. I want to come and see you work. I'm like,
12:27
part of me couldn't tell if he was taking a piss,
12:30
if he was sort of like just pulling my leg, or
12:34
if he was genuine and he really does want to
12:40
come, which is weird because he doesn't believe
12:44
any of this sort of stuff. And every time I tell
12:46
him about stuff, he's like, okay, that's strange,
12:49
but what about X, Y, and Z? So I thought if Simon
12:52
were to come, I've already got a critic in the
12:56
audience. I don't necessarily see him as someone
12:59
who's going to be like, and I hate to say this,
13:02
but it is true, just because of the stuff that
13:04
he has said in the past about this sort of stuff.
13:06
It doesn't necessarily fill me with joy that
13:09
I've got someone in the room with in the audience.
13:13
I see Simon as someone who's there to call me
13:18
out, wait for me to make a mistake or put a foot
13:21
wrong or get something wrong or get a no. Then
13:24
he'll say to me, see, told you, it's all rubbish.
13:28
I know he wouldn't and I know he won't. And it's
13:34
so lovely that he does want to come and support
13:36
but if I'm honest it terrifies me because what
13:39
if I get up there and no one can take any messages
13:43
and this person who I love with all my heart
13:48
but who doesn't necessarily believe in this sort
13:52
of stuff sees me get up there make a fool of
13:56
myself and comes back and says see I told you
13:59
there's nothing to it. This is all just grief.
14:03
This is just you processing grief. And okay,
14:06
oh, I said it so many times in this podcast.
14:08
This is why I love doing this. Even if no one's
14:11
listening to this. This is so good for my mental
14:14
health. This is so cathartic just to get my thoughts
14:16
out there because this is almost like talking
14:19
therapy for me. The more I talk about my worries
14:21
and my concerns, I get to the nub of it. And
14:24
when I spoke to Nicola this morning, That didn't
14:26
even come up, but as I talk about it, and then
14:28
Simon's picture on my desk, he was looking at
14:30
me and staring from behind the glass of the photo
14:33
frame. I'm thinking, oh God, oh God, I think
14:38
it's him. I think it's Simon, which is why I'm
14:41
so nervous, because what if? What if? But I'm
14:48
going to have faith that it's going to be. just
14:50
as good as the previous readings that I've given,
14:53
that the theme of the message that I give is
14:56
going to be on point, that I am going to be successful,
14:59
that it's going to work. And you know what? Over
15:02
the past few weeks, I have seen mediums work
15:05
on online circles. I've tried to see as many
15:08
as I can, face to face and online. And I've come
15:11
to a realization that it is me that is putting
15:14
them on a pedestal. I am seeing them as someone
15:18
above me, as someone above me in the hierarchy
15:22
of mediumship. Because they are doing this, they
15:24
must be at a certain level and that they are
15:27
going to be amazing. And when I watch them, they
15:31
still get things wrong. They do things that I
15:34
wouldn't do. They say things I wouldn't say.
15:40
And watching that, observing those different
15:43
mediums, the way that they work has been really
15:46
helpful. and has made me realize, has helped
15:49
me realize that I'm just as good that there's
15:53
no such thing as perfection. There's always going
15:57
to be something. I was watching Eileen Davies
16:00
last night. Eileen Davis, for those of you who
16:04
don't know, is a professional medium. She was
16:07
the mentor of Dana Willey, the other lovely lady
16:10
who runs the online circle that I go to. But
16:13
Dana was also a guest on a podcast for episode
16:16
eight, and she was on to talk about trust in
16:18
her mediumship. And Dana always talks about Eileen
16:21
Davis because Eileen was her mentor. So I logged
16:24
on. And she was fantastic. She was really, really
16:29
good. But I took the opportunity to have a look
16:32
at the participants. And I was amazed because
16:37
there was a lot of people in that room who were
16:41
lying on the sofa watching TV, who were a few
16:45
of them people even lying in bed with a vape
16:49
in one hand and a TV remote in the other. I thought...
16:52
My God, this is Eileen Davies, who is a great
16:56
medium and is giving fantastic evidence here,
16:59
but there are people in this room who are treating
17:02
this as something to have on in the background.
17:07
I thought, my God, if this happens here, then
17:10
I'm good. You know what? I am absolutely fine.
17:14
This episode is a bit of a two -parter. Before
17:17
the break, this part here is about my concerns,
17:21
my worries about doing the platform event tomorrow
17:24
evening. Then after the break, you'll hear how
17:28
it went. Wish me luck. Just before we get to
17:46
how the service was, just a reminder you can
17:48
find me at the .psychic .explorer Facebook, Instagram
17:52
and threads. I would love to hear from you. Likewise,
17:55
if you're enjoying these little sound bites I'm
17:58
putting out into the ether, I'd really appreciate
18:00
it if you subscribed or commented or whatever
18:02
you can do, you feel like you can do on your
18:06
podcast provider. It really helps get this podcast
18:08
out there to other people. It's slowly growing.
18:11
It's not my ultimate aim to try and be this big
18:14
podcast at all, but if these episodes can help
18:17
other people who are also stepping onto their
18:19
journey, then all the better. Okay, it is Wednesday,
18:41
the 14th of January, 2026, the day after my very
18:46
first full -on platform service. I did it. I
18:51
did it. Oh my goodness me. What a buildup that
18:55
was, and what night. How did I think it went?
18:59
You know what? I think I did bloody well. Considering
19:03
that was my very first time holding audience
19:07
for almost an hour, I think I did okay, you know?
19:13
I always knew that the difficult part of last
19:17
night was going to be the opening prayer and
19:19
the address. The mediumship, that I had no real
19:23
issue with. I'm doing the practice circles beforehand,
19:27
that really did help. But I was so nervous about
19:31
the opening prayer and the address. Could I have
19:34
done better? Yes, yes I could have done better.
19:37
Did I get myself a little bit lost in the opening
19:40
prayer, a little bit lost in the address? I think
19:44
I probably did. Nicholas says that... The words
19:48
I said were beautiful and it all made sense.
19:52
But of course, I wouldn't be me without being
19:54
too hard on myself and being my own worst critic.
19:58
Could my messages have been a bit pithier? Could
20:00
they have been a bit quicker? Yes, they could
20:03
have. I took my time with the messages and I
20:05
think at some parts it probably looked like I
20:08
was just stalling or stopping. But I was able
20:12
to tap into five people, five people that I was
20:15
able to bring through. were recognized and the
20:19
messages were accepted and taken. And you know
20:22
what? That's not a bad hit rate for my very first
20:25
time. I mean, I guess this is not my first time
20:27
on platform. I have done a couple of messages
20:30
here. I've done a couple of messages there over
20:32
the past year or two. But to hold an audience,
20:38
to try and bring humor and upliftment to that
20:44
audience by engaging them, involving them, and
20:49
yeah, I suppose calling on my inner comedian,
20:52
which trust me, I'm surprised as you are to learn
20:56
that I have an inner comedian, but I seem to
20:58
be able to hold an audience quite well, which
21:02
I was really pleased to realize and learn about
21:05
myself. So you know what? Yes, I could have done
21:08
things better, but could I have done things worse?
21:11
Hell yeah, I could have done things a lot worse.
21:14
And actually, I'm really pleased with the messages
21:16
that I gave. The messages, the evidence, it's
21:22
so helped me listening to and watching different
21:26
mediums over the past year, I suppose, but especially
21:30
over the past couple of months, listening to
21:32
professional mediums, watching how different
21:35
people work and incorporating different elements
21:39
of their skill. into my service, into the way
21:44
that I deliver. I have to say, I was quite, what's
21:48
the word, I was conscious. The person who probably
21:52
has the most hand in my training, Nicola, she
21:56
was sat behind me the whole time, she was chairing
21:58
the evening, and she was chairing the evening,
22:01
and she was sat behind me. And I have to admit,
22:04
I... I didn't follow all her rules. I did break
22:08
them a couple of times. Little things like calling
22:12
spirit energy, because the energy I was feeling
22:14
from them was either difficult or really uplifting.
22:19
And in that moment, that was the best way to
22:21
describe those energies, those people. Nicola
22:24
encouraged me not to channel into anyone before
22:28
I got to the event. However, the night before,
22:31
as I was drifting off to sleep, I felt like I
22:35
had this gentleman with me and when I told the
22:38
story that got quite a laugh and I was quite
22:40
pleased with that because it just broke down
22:43
the tension in the room or any tension in the
22:45
room and I remember how this gentleman made me
22:48
feel, I remember the sort of person they were,
22:51
I remember the relationship that they came through
22:54
with and I was able to... get this person recognized.
22:59
And I was so happy because there had been almost
23:00
24 hours between this person stepping into my
23:04
sort of semi -conscious sleep state and the following
23:08
evening when I was giving this address, when
23:10
I was trying to get this person recognized. And
23:12
I looked behind me. I said, Nicole, I'm going
23:13
to break a rule here, but I've just got to go
23:15
back to something I felt last night. And she
23:16
said to me, Matt, it's your floor. You do as
23:19
you wish. That's fine. I did. I tapped back into
23:23
the energy that I felt the night before. I described
23:26
him and I gave the information that I felt that
23:30
I picked up on. And yeah, someone in the audience
23:34
said, yeah, that's my dad. And I was able, and
23:37
it was weird because this gentleman didn't necessarily
23:42
have a very positive energy. He was argumentative.
23:46
He was not an easy person to live with. He was
23:49
not an easy character. He was really making it
23:52
feel very difficult to communicate with. with
23:55
the person in the audience who was claiming this
23:58
person as her father. And everything I was saying,
24:02
she was saying, yes, yes, you're right. That
24:04
sounds right. And I kept saying to her, he's
24:08
really not making this very easy for me because
24:11
he is here one second and then he's gone the
24:14
next. He's back again, he's gone again. And it's
24:16
like he's just showing me how he was in life.
24:20
And she was like, yes, I understand that. And
24:22
so... I was learning on the spot. I was literally
24:25
learning how different energies communicate,
24:29
how they move around me, what they do to show
24:32
me their personalities, the different tricks
24:34
that they can do, that they can put into practice
24:37
to show me the type of person that they are.
24:40
And it's not just a case of, here's a fluffy
24:42
cat and here's a lovely granny with an apron.
24:46
It was... I wish I had the words to describe
24:52
it. It's like tuning in to a really fine radio
24:58
frequency and you are randomly just searching,
25:02
or you're randomly just twisting the dial, seeing
25:04
what you can find, who you can find. And as you're
25:07
going through, you hear something, so you quickly
25:09
try and tune back. But for the life of you, can
25:12
you tune back into that frequency? And you've
25:15
got to slow right down and try and tune it very
25:20
slowly, very finely until you manage to find
25:23
that frequency again. Just what a night. What
25:29
a night. Just another quick one. This is one
25:32
that blew my mind. I got up and... I knew I had
25:36
a line of gentlemen behind me wanting to sort
25:39
of queue up, and I had said this, and again,
25:40
I made a bit of a saucy joke about that, which
25:44
landed quite well, again, which I was pleased
25:46
with. But this gentleman, he was showing me the
25:51
type of person he was. Now, I threw it out to
25:53
the audience, and no one can take it, and this
25:55
is the first person of the night. And I'm describing
25:58
what I'm feeling to everyone in the room, and
26:01
no one can take it, and I think, oh, for God's
26:04
sakes. really on my first one this can't be this
26:07
can't be true surely and I feel like I'm in an
26:11
area of the audience and I say I feel like I'm
26:13
in the the the top right hand corner here and
26:16
everyone's like no no and by this stage I've
26:20
given about four or five pieces of evidence and
26:23
as I sit here now Nicola always says just go
26:28
back over the bits that they can take and that
26:30
they can't take. So I didn't even think of doing
26:33
that consciously. I just did that. I went through
26:35
the pieces of evidence. I said, can anyone in
26:37
this part of the audience take this? And I just
26:40
went through it slowly. And this woman put her
26:42
hand up and said, I can take everything but the
26:44
cause of death. I said, okay, well, let's put
26:46
the cause of death to a side. And I was feeling
26:50
into him some more. And I had said something
26:52
about this gentleman enjoying a bit of a flutter,
26:56
enjoying a flutter at the races. And I said,
26:58
can you understand that he did enjoy a bit of
27:01
a flutter? He liked the horses and her and her
27:04
horse just all cracked up a bit and laughed and
27:06
said, yes, yes, he did enjoy that. Now for me,
27:10
that is such a random thing. I have no connection
27:13
to horse racing. I have no connection to betting
27:15
whatsoever. But I knew that this gentleman was
27:18
coming through. had a connection to horse racing,
27:21
had a connection to having a bit of a flutter.
27:24
And I was really surprised when they said, yes,
27:27
I can definitely take that. And I said, because
27:28
I'm being taken to great young racers here. And
27:31
I said, yes, I can understand that. What an opportunity
27:34
to have been given to share these messages, to
27:39
be able to confirm my hit rate, to be able to
27:43
practice with this lovely audience. And there
27:47
was a lot of them. There's about 30 or so people
27:48
in the room. So yeah, the other thing that I
27:53
suppose I mentioned at the end of the first half
27:56
of this episode was Simon. He was admiring whether
28:00
or not to come towards the end and I had to think,
28:02
oh for goodness sake, I just recorded half an
28:05
episode, leave it on a cliffhanger that you're
28:07
going to be coming in. I wasn't looking forward
28:10
to having to re -record that or try and explain
28:13
why he might not have gone. He told me that he
28:17
felt a bit uncomfortable with the whole scene
28:20
song a bit. And you know what? I totally get
28:22
it. Again, like I said, I think I said in the
28:25
first half, the word service for me, I feel slightly
28:29
uncomfortable with it because to me it has connotations
28:32
of religion and I am not a religious person.
28:35
As my mum used to say, I have faith, but I am
28:38
not of faith. He was saying to me, oh, I just
28:41
feel a bit really awkward I don't want to put
28:43
you off and I just feel a bit uncomfortable with
28:46
the whole prayer thing with the whole Song thing
28:50
and I said you don't have to sing I said you
28:53
honestly don't I said I very rarely do I normally
28:56
I just mine because I just I can't bear it just
28:58
makes me cringe the prayer you don't have to
29:01
participate in you do not have to close your
29:03
eyes and bow your head or do whatever you want
29:05
and actually I'm I said in my prayer, I've made
29:10
it very open to everyone. I was trying to think
29:13
of a way of delivering a prayer without it really
29:16
being a traditional prayer because again, anything
29:19
that relates or is back to Christianity for me
29:22
is no go. I'm not interested in it whatsoever.
29:26
So instead of inviting people to bow their heads
29:30
and close their eyes, I said to them, I would
29:32
like you to just take yourself to a place within
29:35
you. where you are peaceful. Whether that means
29:38
you close your eyes or bow your head or not,
29:42
it does not matter. But just take yourself to
29:44
a place where you are one with yourself. And
29:49
I thought that was quite nice. I thought that
29:50
was a nice way of opening up the event with some
29:55
words without it being too prayer -like. So I...
30:01
I said to him, if you want to come, come. It
30:04
would be nice for you to see me. Because part
30:06
of me, although I was terrified, part of me also
30:09
thought, if I can do this, then maybe I can sort
30:13
of get him on board with this thing. Maybe I
30:16
can convince him that I'm not, maybe I'm not
30:18
crazy. And you know, Simon is Simon. He is very
30:23
skeptical. He said last night as we came away,
30:25
very good. You know, you held the room really
30:27
well. You didn't arm, you didn't R too much.
30:33
And your messages were taken, accepted. He said,
30:38
I'm not sure I still believe and I'm really not
30:41
sure. I'm far too cynical, he said, for that.
30:45
But you know, well done for giving it a go. And
30:48
I thought, well, you know what? This is the person
30:50
that saw a ghost at the top of his stairs when
30:52
he was a teenager, carried on with the telephone
30:55
conversation and still does not believe in anything
30:58
like that. However, he's seen it. He's seen me
31:01
in action. It was probably not my best delivery,
31:04
but I'm still really proud of doing it because
31:06
it certainly was my longest delivery. So he's
31:10
seen me now. So that's that done. And I was...
31:15
I sat here thinking, you know, what do I talk
31:18
about? Basically I've... in a very long and rambled
31:23
way, I have just repeated the various text messages
31:26
that I sent to people this morning. People who've
31:29
asked me how it went, people in circle who weren't
31:32
able to go last night, they've all messaged me
31:34
this morning saying, how did it go, Matt? How
31:36
did it go? And I basically said, yeah, I was
31:39
really happy with how it went. Could I have done
31:41
better? Yes. However, I'm really pleased with
31:44
what I did, especially considering where I was.
31:48
a year ago, especially two years ago, just light
31:52
years apart. But my outer circle friends, my
31:58
family, it's sad because I don't feel comfortable
32:03
opening up to them because for them it's something
32:05
that they don't want to talk about. It's something
32:08
that they feel uncomfortable with. I was at a
32:11
friend's house on Saturday night and he got halfway
32:15
through asking me, about last night, about the
32:19
event. And he suddenly looked really uncomfortable,
32:23
stopped mid -sentence and just very abruptly
32:25
changed the sentence as if I hadn't noticed what
32:28
he was going to ask. And I just thought, oh,
32:31
okay, clearly you are very uncomfortable with
32:34
it. Which is sad because I'm not trying to shove
32:36
this down anyone's throat, you know, this is
32:39
very, I'm very much not that type of person.
32:42
I don't go around advertising it per se. But
32:45
if someone asks me, you know, I'll be honest
32:47
and I'll say, I'll give them my opinion, I'll
32:50
say what I'm exploring. But yeah, I guess it's
32:57
that whole awkwardness of other, of stereotypes
33:02
of not really understanding, I guess, yeah. Which,
33:08
you know, I get, fine, it's just, it does feel
33:11
like I'm coming out all over again. As I reflect
33:15
on last night, though, I am going to take forward
33:19
the positives. I have said in my text messages,
33:22
as I said already, as I said in my text messages
33:24
to my circle friends, there were some things
33:27
last night which I could have done better. I'm
33:30
aware of those, but I'm also really proud of
33:33
myself, the fact that I did it, that I held that
33:36
audience for that amount of time, that I had
33:39
the guts to stand up and do it. You know, I saw
33:42
something on Instagram yesterday and it really
33:45
made me smile. It's funny, my feed on my personal,
33:49
my personal Instagram is a very different feed
33:53
to my psyche explorer feed. And I was looking
33:56
at my psyche explorer feed and this real inspirational
34:01
message came up and it said, celebrate your mistakes
34:05
because most people don't even try. And... As
34:10
I go forward into the new year, into 2026, I
34:15
am going to take forward with me the achievement
34:19
of last night, the achievement of my very, very
34:23
first public service. and we'll see where it
34:28
goes. I do actually have, I've already been booked,
34:31
not from last night, but from the back of the
34:34
fledgling event that I did with Nicola. It's
34:36
an online service, actually, and it's coming
34:38
up in March, so when it comes to the time, I
34:41
will maybe publicize that some more so that if
34:46
any of you lovely listeners who are not local
34:48
to the Norfolk area want to see me. then you
34:53
can find me. That is where you'll be able to
34:57
see me next, I suppose. I will give more details
35:00
out about that closer to the time. For the moment
35:03
though, I'm called to remind you that if you're
35:07
feeling a bit flat, if you're feeling a bit unsure
35:09
of yourself, if you're not feeling particularly
35:12
confident in something, something I said last
35:16
night at the service, something I said in my
35:19
address was, Look back at last year. Think of
35:23
something that you are proud of. Something that
35:25
you did that you are proud of. And rather than
35:29
focus on the negative, rather than focus on the
35:32
shoulda, woulda, coulda's like I tend to do,
35:36
focus on how that made you feel. Focus on how
35:39
that maybe made other people feel. Focus on that
35:44
love. Focus on that pride. Try and do more of
35:46
that as you go forward into 2026. I will leave
35:51
that there. That's been more than enough rambling
35:54
for me for one afternoon. I will see you in the
36:00
next episode in two weeks' time where we have
36:03
our first guest episode of 2026. Rob Lomax talks
36:08
about his experiences with his guides. We talk
36:13
about soul. We talk about his concept of what
36:17
he thinks soul is. We talk about inter -dimensions,
36:22
we talk about different beings. It's a fascinating
36:26
topic, it's a fascinating subject because Robert
36:29
is a very spiritual person, but he comes at it
36:32
from a very different point of view than what
36:35
I think many of us do. So have a listen to that.
36:39
Again, if you can subscribe, if you can hit that
36:41
notification bell, every time an episode of The
36:44
Psychic Explorer drops, you will... know about.
36:47
It will come up on your phone and it will notify
36:49
you. Sending you all my love. Take care, guys.
36:53
Bye.