Latest / The conspiracy / DARK HUMOUR TikTok_s _ React

Transcript

DARK HUMOUR TikTok_s _ React · The conspiracy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to my YouTube channel, or
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: welcome to my YouTube channel. I'm CallMeChris, and you can
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: call me Chris. And you're looking good, looking pretty. Yeah, no, no,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: you look good. You look good. If I had four
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: quarters to give the most attractive person in the world,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: you'd have a dollar. We can go to the dollar store,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: which is fun. I got something from the dollar store. Okay, nevermind. Okay,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: so we're watching some dark humor TikToks today. I'm excited.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Don't cancel me, okay? If I laugh at some of these,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I have very dark humor. I try to like mellow
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: it out in my content, but I'm a terrible person.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: So let's watch these. When he knows how to eat wings. Oh, oh. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: This is a family- This is a family- This is
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: a family- This is a family-friendly channel, okay? We're not
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: starting off like this. Later, two hours ago. Travis, when
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a woman says later, she really means not ever. It's true. That's, like,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the funnest thing to do is just, like, put that
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: mask on and just peel it off like it's your skin. Like,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: if you have a sunburn, do you like to, like,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: peel that stuff off of your- Is that weird? Am
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I weird? It's fine. I know this. Is it safe
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: to swallow semen? I hope so. I mean, I do too.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, no, I mean I I'm absent. I'm I'm
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: abstinence abstinent abstinent I am good. I know this is
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: why you send men out to get the right equipment
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: For dumbass boy He was like turn it around We
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: found your mother we found your mother last night in pieces.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Oh My God. The largest Starbucks size, bigger than the
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: adult human stomach. What? No way. Average capacity, 900 million, 2,900. What? Starbucks?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: But then, but I could probably drink a trente, trente, trente,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: and like eat a sandwich. So how does that make sense?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I don't wanna think about it. Let's try the Sharpie
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: tip on max speed. Oh God. Oh my. They're gonna
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: be sold out everywhere. for massages for shoulder next post
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: the video that made you go viral oh shit oh
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: shit red what about you You still got yours. What?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Where are these people working, man? Get a different job.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Everybody's losing their fingers. Can you imagine walking into this
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: interview and they're just like, hey, do you want this
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: job as a meat cutting plant? And then you're just like, yeah,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I would really like this job. Do I need any training?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: What does this job entail? Is there any injuries on
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: this job? Well, none of us have fingers and we
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: have no safety requirements. Well, that seems a little suspect
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: to me, if you ask me, but... We'll pay you
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: minimum wage and feed you lunch every Friday. Pizza or
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Philly cheesesteak. Fuck it, I'm in. Oh, ooh. Does anybody else, like,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: secretly hope that they would find, like, a razor blade
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: in their McDonald's chicken nugget so they could just... Maybe
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: not a razor. Okay, maybe not. You know what I mean?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Be kind of sweet. Yeah, I'd still be mad at
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: me because I'd be frying out of these beans. Oh,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: that's not good. I'm on the way, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Keeping the firemen employed, all right. Oh. I was just
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: about to say, somebody needs to do that to me.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: All right, that IBS train. I don't want to see
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: a full man get farted. Please, please, no. Please, no.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: That's it, that's the whole video. You know, Thomas, your name,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: you look like a Thomas. I'd ask you to leave too.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: didn't finish cutting down the street. Whoa. You cannot just
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: leave them floating. What the hell, people? Agreed. Dead. Oh, no. No. Non-applicable. Sorry. Sorry.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: That's not funny. It's, like, kind of funny. She said dead, lol.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I think I'm slow and dumb, but it's all an act.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: My GPA was the highest in the entire world. You
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: know what that said? What is the highest GPA? Is
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it like 420 or something like that? I honestly don't know. GPA, calculate.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't want to calculate my GPA. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: don't need that today. I don't need that kick in
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: the stomach today. What's the highest GPA? Oh my God. 4.0.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Why did I say 420? Oh my God, I'm a stoner. Sorry,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: really exposed myself there. 100. Yeah, go ahead and read
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that for me. What does it say? It says 100. Damn,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: she basically Einstein. Move over, Einstein. This is yay hodol.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: She's taking over. Hmm. Guess what, everybody? I'm gonna shut
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: the up. That's me at any party. Everybody's talking, everybody's
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: making jokes, and I start talking, and I'm like, and
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: everybody looks at me, and everything's silent, and I expect
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: something funny to come out of my mouth, and I'm
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: just like, you know, I'm just gonna stop talking. I'm
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: just gonna go sit in that corner over there and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: drink a martini. This is my formal apology for absorbing
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: my twin. Bella, stop telling people you absorbed me in
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: the womb. I never said I was in the womb.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. Me and my sisters are weird like that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I love that. Guys, I was at the store and
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I saw some really scary creepies. Guys, my brother just
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: got deployed. And I just keep thinking about how well
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: he's got it. I get to wear all his fancy clothes.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: It's fancy. I like that outfit. It's nice. I'm not
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: white trash. I'm financially healthy. Well, and your white trash.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: You can be both, I think. That's something I would do!
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: That's something I have done. Who am I kidding? God,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'm stupid. Oh my god, guys. They put black plastic... Oh!
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: That's good. How am I going to keep an eye
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: out for Selena? I initially didn't want to post this
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: because it's just a fighter pilot with an unfortunate name,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: but it is my boyfriend's favorite. So, Major Dick Bong.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Major Dick Bong. It's your dick bong! It's a good name.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Decorated fighter pilot. Decorated war hero. Dick bong! I can
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: say it. It's a name. I can say it. When
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: hotel bed sheets are tucked in. Off. Why do they
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: tuck them in so tightly? It's like they want to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: just come in when you're sleeping at night and murder you,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you know? Because you can't get out. You're just like
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: stuck in there like a cocoon. What is that for?
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Who is that for? Why you gotta be so tight?
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: That's what she said. Damn it. We're not going to
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Disney World! We're just getting gas! Oh no. Oh, this
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: is so wrong. Oh, that's like 10 times worse than
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: driving past like McDonald's and your mom like slows down
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: going past the McDonald's and you're like, and then she
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: just like drives past it. Disney world. That's a lot worse.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I found this under my seat. So I'm the pilot
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: right now. Oh my god. Can you imagine though? God
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: damn it. I'm gonna do another skit. Okay. This is me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I have the pin. I have the pilot pin. Okay,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: sitting there. I found it. I feel good. I'm a pilot.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And the guy beside me is just like, oh shit,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: are you a pilot? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: got the pin. So I'm a pilot. Oh shit. That's cool, bro.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: That's cool. That's cool. Flash forward to the flight attendant
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: coming in. Oh my god, the plane's going down. Is
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: anybody in the cabin a pilot? Oh, yeah. Yeah. My
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: friend over here, he's a pilot. Oh, It's, well, no. Yeah,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: you said you got the pin. You said you're a pilot,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: so you're a pilot. Oh, uh, yeah. Oh my God,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: you're going to save so many people. Okay, come on,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: come up front. Come on, come on. You know what?
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I played a lot of VR pilot flight simulations. I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: f * * * ed up this. Let's go. And
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: then the plane crashes and they all die, but they
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: don't know. They don't know that you're actually not a pilot.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Worth it because you found that pin. L-E-R-S-R-S-R-S. And what
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: that spell? Leave me alone. Okay. Oh, I got to
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: do that too. This is an L, so this is
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: the right. I still do that. God damn it. At
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: least I'm not alone. Error. It's not funny. Really? Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: You came out to me right before we played Mario Kart.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: That's a cool problem. So, Rainbow Road? Are you kidding me? Whoa.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Just trying to be inclusive. I don't know. I have
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: no idea. I put a million dollars in your bank account.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: You'd be pretty stoked, right? No, I wouldn't, because I'm
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: still 5'3. What is he doing? Put some pants on.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: He's so little. He's cute, though. You're cute. Don't worry
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: about it. We had such an exciting science event. Dora,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the best friend. What was your favorite part of the trip? Crickets.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: F * * * ing crickets, man. I hated watching
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Dora because of that. It was just like, where's the mountain?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Right behind me? Great! Shut the f * * * up! Night.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Might want to check under your bed. Someone could be
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: waiting to just suck on your toes. Alright, meet my friends.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: That's Bum-Bum. No point in saying hello. He's dead. That's unfortunate. No,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's unfortunate. That's her name. Check this out.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: If you got a girl and you got a job,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: whenever you get paid, you should be at least in
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: her half your check. She shouldn't have to pay for shit.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: All she got to do is look good for you. Dude, nah. Dude, nah.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I make my own money. I'm finna get all the
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: hoes after this shit. He knows what he's doing. I
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: respect it. I'm about to fish it up. But first
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I need to find a video. I respect it. He's
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: got a secret lab chair. Finally! And the food's f
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: * * * ing cold. Does anybody else do that?
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Say it in the comments below. If I am eating something,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I need to be watching something, and I know that's
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: not healthy, probably. But I cannot take a just, even
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: a of my food, unless I find a video to watch,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: unless it's playing, and then by the time I find it,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: it's cold. Relatable. I like it. I'm 24, and I
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: can't take it anymore. I'm 27. and they'll never find Kevin.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Not Kevin, that's my dog, no. I'm 25, I just
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: wanna be unalived. That was beautiful, wait. I'm gonna stop. Oh, shit,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: where are we going? Dollar store? I like the dollar store,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: you know, you know. Oh, look at that little wrench, rant, rant, ranch,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: not ranch, wrench, wrench. I would date this person for
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: like at least a couple weeks until I could take
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: possession of that wrench and he wouldn't notice. See where
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: my priorities lie. Do y'all think Catwoman is flexible enough
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: to eat herself out? No. You got games on your phone? No. No, no, no,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: but probably, I don't know. I ain't sure what HD is,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: but the doctor just called, said I got 80 of
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: them bitches. Woo! Woo! Same, dude. Same. What was I
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: talking about? ADHD. Woo! Oh, yeah, I would die. Got
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: something to say? How you doing? I just wanted to
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: let you know that you and your girl, y'all a
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: cute couple. Y'all remind me of me and my girl
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: before we broke up. When y'all break up. Recently. Thank
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: you for asking. I love it. Boyfriend's skipping the foreplay. Oh.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: You know, you gotta take your time, fellas. You gotta
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: take your time. You gotta just, like... I mean, I'm abstinence.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I'm abstinence. I'm abstinent. I'm abstinent. Jesus, don't look. Okay.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: When your boss tells you to drain out the milk sink. Ew. Ew.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: That's like... Ah. When you put your hand into, like,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: soapy water to get the drain out, and there's just, like,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: that soggy... food in there, but then you got to
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: touch it. Disgusting. Bro, what are you doing? We can
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: see your cards. I have nothing to say about that.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I just thoroughly enjoyed that. So I'm working on an
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: endoscopy unit at the moment. This patient dead set asked
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: if when she woke up from her colonoscopy, would it
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: hurt more or less than a night following anal? I
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: don't know, sis. I've never had a colonoscopy. Exposed. Yeah,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: that wouldn't be good. I'm abstinent though, I wouldn't know.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't know. Wait, would you be a stay-at-home dad if
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: your wife made 20 million a year? Hell yeah! I
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: want a stay-at-home husband, stay-at-home dad, whatever. I hate everything
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: that involves being a wife. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of children.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: So wife or husband, the petition's down below. Mm, the
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: snack sounds good. What shall I get? Oh, sriracha, how interesting. Ew,
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: it looks gross. It's a weird color. It looks like
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: barbecue sauce. That's a, what? 2002, 2010? Who doesn't have
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: condiments in their fridge that exceed the expir, expir, exp...
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I need to go to the hospital because I just
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: had a stroke. The expiration date, expiration. What's the word? Expired, expiration.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna move on. This might be controversial, All
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I'm saying is the world's falling apart. We all know it.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And if we all know it, can we get rid
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: of the paper straws? Oh, where's the... If this was
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: the petition, I would be... I f * * *
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: ing hate those paper straws, okay? Those turtles. I'm just kidding.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, mostly. Nobody likes those paper straws, so
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you can't sit here and tell me, oh my God,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I love paper straws. Like so much more than metal.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: And plastic straws. Like I love when I'm sipping on
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: it and like halfway through my drink, it gets like soggy.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: So then it becomes like, you can eat it too.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Which is kind of fun. Like a little bit of fiber.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Shut up. My friend wanted to get drunk together. That's me,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: every time. Every time I drink, I'm just like two
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: shots in and I'll be like, I'm free. Off to
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: discover myself. all this baby oil off? Oh wow. What
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: did I just watch? Job. 911, what's your emergency? I
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: can't even right now. Okay ma'am, I'm just gonna need
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: you to calm down, okay? Have you tried posting on
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: social media saying, Worst day ever. And then replying to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: everyone's comments saying, I don't want to talk about it. Why, why, why, why,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: why do people do that? It drives me nuts. And
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I'm always the one to ask. I'm like, oh my God,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: are you okay? Like, they'll be like, worst day ever.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Or like, I need a break and all this stuff.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And I don't want to talk about it. Then f
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: * * * you, okay? I'm never going to ask again. Shit,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I thought it was bad when people rear-end me and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: get this. Look at that mother- Oh my God! What
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: is this? Mad Max? What the is that? How is
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: that even legal? How is that at all legal? What
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: is this man doing? Does that thing propel out? You know,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: does it go like, just grab cars. Kind of cool.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Kind of sick. I just want chaos. Nice tasty meal
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: from Chick-fil-A. Not to the penis shaped and like, no,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: please no. What does this look like? I'm fighting off melatonin. Okay.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Give me whatever that monkey's got, you know what I'm saying?
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: That one half-eaten popsicle everyone forgot about. Always. Or it's
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: like a half-eaten blizzard that's just like frostbitten on top.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Just no. Just always, always. Your room looks like you.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You can't just put weird stuff on your wall and
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: call it maximalism? Maximalism? What's maximalism? It's a loud style
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: composed of mixed patterns. Huh, cool. Okay. I learned something
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: new every day. It was decorated by a perverted jockey.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: When you say that, what I feel is that you're
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: trying to hurt my feelings. Oh my God, it's Kermit
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: on a cross. I died for your sins. Oh, that
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: one's going to put me to hell. Sorry. If I
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: laugh at this next one, I'll go to hell. Can
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: you do it? Do I have the Mickey Mouse ears? Yeah, bro. Oh,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do this. I'm too much Jordan.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: I'll go back. So I got this. Lush bar of soap.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And yeah. What? They took green to a whole nother level.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: That's amazing. Wow. Couldn't you sue for that? You know,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: like wrecked your pipes. Sue Lush. Lush better watch out.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go buy some bars of soap. I got
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: a plan now. This is how gamers would use a
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: time machine. I'm from the future. Do you guys still
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: hate women? Yes. Cool. We also say Baba Booey. Oh. Nope.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Mother ran out of cups. That's some big brain shit
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: right there, if I ever seen it. Have you ever
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: seen anything like this? I thought that my baby was stretching,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: but turns out it was a contraction. I am never
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: doing that. Who just, what? You know, bless. Bless if
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: you've had a child. How? How do you have that
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: creepy motherfucker just boxing you from the inside? I couldn't.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I couldn't. I'd be like boxing it back. You know
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Can't do it. Meanwhile in the psych ward.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I'd get along with these people. New York people be like.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's just anywhere. AC goes off. I need
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the room to be just like, just on the edge
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: of hypothermia. You know what I'm saying? 911, what's your emergency? Hi.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Hi to you too, ma'am. What's your emergency? That's such
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: a good question. It is a This wig is killing me.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I wanna end me. Oh my gosh. I'm still finding
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: out about my tattoo all summer. I find out I'm gay. Well,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: done my homicide. Ass, boobs. Smile. Are these his priorities?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: What is this? Feet. Oh, God. I brought you frankincense. Hey,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: it's Shane. It's one of my best friends, Shane Wally.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I brought you frankincense. A regular friend's gift. And I
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: brought you myrrh. Best friend's gift. Myrrh-der. A bag full
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: of chaos. It's true. I'm going to send you something
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: real nice. Shane's going to be the most * *
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: * * up shit in that bag. You have no idea.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Get ready. Yo, y'all beware. I am so paranoid of that.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Every time I use any of those machines, I always
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: try to pull it off because I'm so paranoid of that.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Because they can, like, take your information and stuff. Noted. Sorry.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Put it back in Big Daddy. Y'all got way too
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: much time on your hands, okay? Or you're really lonely.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: This is the answer. This is not the answer. I'm apologizing,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: and I feel like you guys need the truth, and
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: you need to know. Okay. I was hitting on too
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: many moms and people got really mad at me. Yeah.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Out of all people, you had to sleep with my mom?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: He's a f * * * ing legend, mate. Ew.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: You're gonna go down and you're gonna go listen. I
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: know you're not hiring me. Well, I'm the best. Guys
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: are just fully prepared to degrade themselves. And that's, I'm
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: here for it. I'm here for it. What? Go ahead,
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: shut it. Oh my gosh. It's a booby trap. That's
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: class A comedy right there. I'm at the Hello Kitty
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: truck right now. And I'm so excited. Is that her voice?
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Look at all that. Tell me that doesn't look good.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Is that her voice? If so, amazing. I wish I
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: had that range. 19 inches on my side of the bed. Okay.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: 30 on your side. Scoot over. That's me, I sleep
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: like this. Can I do a couple of these? Did
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: everybody else scream in their sleep? Just me? All right. Well, okay. Well,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: those were fun to watch. They didn't get too bad.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: So that's good. Love to see that. But I hope
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed the video. If you did enjoy the video,
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: it super, super helps me out. If you like the video,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: you can comment down below what your favorite flavor of
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: pizza is. And if you say pineapple, I will scold
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you in the comments. Also, subscribe if you haven't already
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: subscribed and hit that little notification bell if you want
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: to know when my next video is up. Other than that,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I hope you guys have a wunderbar day and I
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: will see you in the next video, okay?