Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #916 A Slice of Advice on Morning Chaos

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#916 A Slice of Advice on Morning Chaos · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for.
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  Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just wants answers Now.
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  Speaker 1: All this week on the Happy Families Podcast, we are
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  Speaker 1: giving you a slice of advice around heading back to school,
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  Speaker 1: because heading back to school can be a time of upheaval.
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  Speaker 1: It can be a time of what's the word that
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  Speaker 1: I'm looking for, Kylie. It could just be hard chaos.
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  Speaker 1: And the more kids you've got, the harder it is.
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  Speaker 1: And once they start saying, oh, don't want to go
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  Speaker 1: to school or for my lunch, or any of those
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  Speaker 1: kinds of things, it gets even trickier. Yesterday we gave
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  Speaker 1: you slices of advice, six of them. It's only supposed
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  Speaker 1: to be one, but we got carried away six slices
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  Speaker 1: of advice on tackling the school lunch issue. I think
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  Speaker 1: that there was some really good advice there. If you
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  Speaker 1: missed it, please go back and listen. Today a slice
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  Speaker 1: of advice on morning routines, because let's face it, mornings
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  Speaker 1: are typically not magic in most homes around the country
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  Speaker 1: when it's time to get things ready for school. Supposed
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  Speaker 1: to be one slice of advice. We talked about this earlier.
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  Speaker 1: I came up with a couple. You came up with
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  Speaker 1: a couple. We've drilled it right down to a total
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  Speaker 1: of four slices of advice.
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  Speaker 2: I'm two sandwiches, that's all. It's just too sandwich.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, that's just a regular day for most people, right,
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  Speaker 1: That's right, two things, unless you've got little kids. So
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  Speaker 1: today we're all about helping you to make your energy
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  Speaker 1: in your morning positive, get productivity and efficiency nice and high,
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  Speaker 1: and have everyone working for a smooth, on time departure.
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  Speaker 1: Because there's nothing worse than leaving the house three four
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  Speaker 1: minutes late. You know you're going to get the traffic,
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  Speaker 1: you know you're going to get the lights. The kids
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  Speaker 1: will be late to school, you'll be late to work.
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  Speaker 1: Everyone's in an upheaval. And as you're driving, as you're
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  Speaker 1: driving into the school, you kind of give me the
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  Speaker 1: kids this lecture about how they need to do better tomorrow,
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  Speaker 1: but you're trying to do it with the smile on
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  Speaker 1: the face because the principal's out the front greeting all
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  Speaker 1: the kids as they get out of the car, and
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  Speaker 1: you're like, by kids, I love you, and the kids
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  Speaker 1: like you haven't felt love for the last half hour.
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  Speaker 1: So slice of advice number one. We've talked about this
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  Speaker 1: so many times over the years, Kylie, but I think
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  Speaker 1: that it still has to be my go to for
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  Speaker 1: just basic practical stuff. Do as much prep as you
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  Speaker 1: can the night before, the more he begins the night
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  Speaker 1: before hard.
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  Speaker 2: One wisdom here. Yeah. We have spent plenty of times
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  Speaker 2: where I've had to do multiple trips to school because
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  Speaker 2: somebody's forgot their violin, or they've left the school hat behind,
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  Speaker 2: or the lunch box sitting on the bench.
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  Speaker 1: This matters because we live what twenty minutes from the school,
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  Speaker 1: and the other day when I took one of our
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  Speaker 1: kids to school, the only one who's now going to school,
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  Speaker 1: as I took her to school, it took us forty minutes.
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  Speaker 1: Traffic was bad because everyone was getting back to school
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  Speaker 1: for the first time. Forty minutes plus the twenty minutes home.
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  Speaker 1: It's an hour out of your day. And if you're
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  Speaker 1: going to do two trips like that anyway, but then
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  Speaker 1: you've got to do a third one because somebody forgot
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  Speaker 1: their lunchbox, or they forgot their sports shoes, they forgot
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  Speaker 1: their violin. All of a sudden, it just it blows
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  Speaker 1: the day apart. So morning begins the night before. Pack
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  Speaker 1: the sports uniform. Make sure you know where their school
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  Speaker 1: shoes are, their school socks, their school bag, their lunch box,
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  Speaker 1: The uniforms are ready if it's winter time, which obviously
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  Speaker 1: we don't need to worry about it now, but in
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  Speaker 1: a couple of months time, when it gets a little
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  Speaker 1: bit cooler, you want to make sure that you know
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  Speaker 1: where their school jumper is and that you're not going
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  Speaker 1: to have to buy them a third one for the years.
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  Speaker 2: And don't ever believe them when they say it's in
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  Speaker 2: their school bag.
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  Speaker 1: Go and check, Go and check. Such important advice. That's
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  Speaker 1: our first slice of advice. Morning begins the night before
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  Speaker 1: significantly reduces morning stress.
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  Speaker 2: I have one word for you for number two, yeap margin.
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  Speaker 1: I was going to say, I bet I can guess
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  Speaker 1: it because I know where you go with This is
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  Speaker 1: your favorite word when it comes to mornings. Explain please, margin.
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  Speaker 2: Margin works beautifully with our first slice of advice. If
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  Speaker 2: we've done all the preparation the night before, it gives
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  Speaker 2: us the breathing space to have a much calmer morning.
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  Speaker 2: In theory, depending on how many children you have, the
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  Speaker 2: morning's still going to be busy. But if you've done
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  Speaker 2: all of the preparation the night before school, lunches are
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  Speaker 2: almost packed and ready to go, choices and decisions around
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  Speaker 2: all of that have been made previously, kids' school bag
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  Speaker 2: and their school uniform is all in place, then all
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  Speaker 2: we're really doing is helping our children have breakfast, getting
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  Speaker 2: them dressed, and getting out the door.
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  Speaker 1: So that that's a really nice tie with where I
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  Speaker 1: want to go with my next point. Okay, when there's margin,
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  Speaker 1: I I'm just thinking about it. If I'm reading a
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  Speaker 1: book and the words go from one edge of the
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  Speaker 1: page to the next every now and again. In a
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  Speaker 1: bid to save paper, historically, I have extended the margins
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  Speaker 1: on my printer so that I'm printing from edge to edge.
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  Speaker 2: I do that when I only want to fit everything
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  Speaker 2: on one page.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, But then you sit there and read
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  Speaker 1: it and there's no margin, and it feels horrible because
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  Speaker 1: there's no white space. The white space allows you to
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  Speaker 1: I guess, bring me, gives your brain a brain, Yeah, exactly,
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  Speaker 1: and that's what we need in our mornings. Margin allows
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  Speaker 1: you to have space for unexpected hiccups, and it leads,
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  Speaker 1: Like I said to my third slice, my second slice
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  Speaker 1: of advice, our third slice advice in total, and that
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  Speaker 1: is that margin means that you can focus more on
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  Speaker 1: connection and less on correction and direction. You can deal
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  Speaker 1: with engaging well with the kids, relationship building, and dealing
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  Speaker 1: with any unexpected challenges like I don't want to go
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  Speaker 1: to school, or like I'm too busy staring at my
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  Speaker 1: screen to do the three or four things that I
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  Speaker 1: do need to do this morning.
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  Speaker 2: Well, even the child that's a little bit slow to
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  Speaker 2: get up in the morning, right, having that margin means
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  Speaker 2: that I know that this child actually just needs a
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  Speaker 2: little bit of extra time. So I'm going to wake
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  Speaker 2: them a few minutes early, and I might even just
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  Speaker 2: lie on the bed and give them a snuggle. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: as they kind of start to wake up and become
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  Speaker 2: aware of the world, and we might sing a song,
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  Speaker 2: we might say a prayer, we might read a story
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  Speaker 2: for a few minutes. I have the margin to do
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  Speaker 2: that because I've done all of preparation the night before, so.
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  Speaker 1: That morning begins the night before. Thing, I didn't say
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  Speaker 1: this before, but you've just said something so important. It's
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  Speaker 1: not just about the kids, it's also about us. Like
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  Speaker 1: if we want to have an effective morning. We've got
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  Speaker 1: to go to bed early enough Number one. That means
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  Speaker 1: not too many episodes of whatever series we're into. But
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  Speaker 1: we've also got to get our stuff organized so that
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  Speaker 1: we're getting up with some margin and that we're looking
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  Speaker 1: after our needs so that we can be present and
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  Speaker 1: available for the kids. Slice of Advice number one, Morning
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  Speaker 1: begins to night before. Slice of Advice number two margins
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  Speaker 1: Lusted Advice number three Less correction and direction and more connection.
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  Speaker 1: So correction and direction is the scolding and the reminding
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  Speaker 1: and the nagging and what are you doing? And why
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  Speaker 1: haven't you done what I said? And this is the
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  Speaker 1: third time I've asked you to brush your hair, and
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  Speaker 1: what do you mean you don't know where the hair brushes.
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  Speaker 1: It shouldn't be that hard. We only have four things
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  Speaker 1: to do, and then we've got to get out the door.
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  Speaker 1: That's the correction and direction, the skullding. It just feels
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  Speaker 1: horrible for connection. I think it works way better if
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  Speaker 1: you do the things that you've just highlighted. But also
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  Speaker 1: just a simple question like Ooh, I noticed that you're
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  Speaker 1: staring at your screen. Does that mean that you've done everything?
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  Speaker 1: Because I'm looking at your hair, and I do not
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  Speaker 1: think that you have done your hair and you just
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  Speaker 1: breathing nim me and I can tell that your teeth
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  Speaker 1: isn't are brushed either. What's next on your list?
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  Speaker 2: One of the things that I've loved doing, especially recently
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  Speaker 2: with a few of our kids, is if I see
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  Speaker 2: them kind of just wandering around and they're not doing
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  Speaker 2: what they need to do. Yeah, I actually just grab
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  Speaker 2: them in a big bear hug and I said.
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  Speaker 1: What snacks.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, it's just it's so, it's that gentle reminder. It's
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  Speaker 2: just a couple of words. I'm not having to give
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  Speaker 2: them a lecture or anything like that. But that connection,
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  Speaker 2: that physical connection stops them in their tracks.
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  Speaker 1: And on top of what's next, a quick question do
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  Speaker 1: you need a hand? Can I help? That's again it's
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  Speaker 1: so connecting, and the kids are usually say no, it's
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  Speaker 1: finally I can brush my twop on my own. But
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  Speaker 1: it's about saying I'm here, I'm willing to be involved,
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  Speaker 1: I'm willing to be present. It's more connection, less correction
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  Speaker 1: and direction.
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  Speaker 2: Finally, number four, it's great if we can help them
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  Speaker 2: create some anticipation about what's happening today at school. Is
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  Speaker 2: it they've got swimming lessons and they really enjoy getting
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  Speaker 2: in the pool. Is it that art classes on today,
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  Speaker 2: or they've got drama, or they're with their friends catch
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  Speaker 2: up with their friends. Maybe it's the fact that they
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  Speaker 2: know that they've got their favorite sandwich in their lunch box.
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  Speaker 1: Kids who have something looked forward to each day, something
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  Speaker 1: that they're optimistic about, are far more motivated to move
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  Speaker 1: forward through the morning than those who are expecting nothing
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  Speaker 1: but misery. So, I mean, for slices of advice, it
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  Speaker 1: is hard to have consistently great mornings. You can do
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  Speaker 1: all of this sort of stuff and things can still well,
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  Speaker 1: the bottom can fall out, everything just pair shaped.
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  Speaker 2: But the great thing is if you've had lots of
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  Speaker 2: good mornings, then having the occasional one where things do
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  Speaker 2: fall apart, you've actually got greater capacity to deal with
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  Speaker 2: it because it's not a daily event. It's a lot
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  Speaker 2: easier to keep it all together when it's just once
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  Speaker 2: in a blue moon.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So if you're a routine, I mean we're on
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  Speaker 1: a day too for many people, a week two for
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  Speaker 1: a bunch of other people around the country. But if
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  Speaker 1: your routine does become disordered, or if things are currently volatile.
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  Speaker 1: I think these four simple slices of advice can help
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  Speaker 1: make mornings much more magic. We really appreciate you listening
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  Speaker 1: to a Happy Family's podcast. Thank you so much. Hopefully
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  Speaker 1: it's making your family happier. The Happy Families podcast is
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  Speaker 1: produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: our executive producer. For more information about how to make
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: your family happier, we would love for you to visit
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: us and check out The Quest. It's the brand new
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: membership program designed specifically to make your family function better
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: and be happy. The Quest. You can find it at
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: happy families dot com dot a U. The Quest coming
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: soon