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Anarchy is Magic · Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

• I need more men! You know how to read horse? I am a horse! What? How long? No, you're not! Person, I'd like to make a narrative declaration. Anytime a blunt gets made, we all just think of the Hindenburg disaster. That being said, I suppose I should still come up with some kind of strategy, eh? Yeah, we've been waiting for that for... Remember when people said this was the serious campaign? Oh, oh, oh. We need to hear your Discord thing go... Yes, hello. Isn't this so wonderful? This is me cheering. Yippee! The Discord thing didn't garble. Yeah, but you feel real silly now, dude. How about that? We try to rely on faulty technology for a bit. So, obviously, for anybody listening, Hoki is currently away from his main setup, so his microphone and stuff might not sound the best, So, obviously, you know, just be aware of that and stuff. Welcome, everybody, to another exciting episode of Rock Ryan. We're good to be back after taking a little short break. Good to see everyone again. And remember, if you really, really like this show and stuff like that, please let people know we exist. Please let people know that we're doing a Pathfinder 2-week show. We love showcasing these shows to everybody and having everyone join in for the live streams, videos, stuff like that. Please share our videos, animations, things like that. Please, on any forums that are applicable and accepting of that type of stuff, we really appreciate it. And just recommending us to whoever you can. So, thank you very much. And, of course, if you want to support everything, you can be a YouTube member or you can go to patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration, get a whole bunch of cool stuff, along with a bunch of exclusive shows, things like that, and a whole bunch of things that we are planning to do in the future. But, of course, none of that would happen without the amazing players that bring you Rock Ryan, starting off with Odo Roshi. Hello, it's me, Odo. Today, I will be bringing you Veena, the self-swashbuckler. Welcome back, everybody. We missed you for two weeks. You better have behaved. I'll know. Yeah. Yeah. We have the cameras in your home. And, of course, Yep. And, of course, the one that we have deployed out into the field is Hokey. That's me. I'm Hokey Crow. I'm out here on the field reporting far and away. You've driven me up the walls and up and down the coast. I'm out here reporting live on location from scenic. And then, of course, the one who's monitoring the situation back at home base is Speaker D. Hi there. I'm Speaker D. I'm monitoring the situation back here at home base. Whenever anything bad happens, I push a big red button. And then the second I push that big red button, the microscopic bombs implanted in the necks of the rest of the cast will implode. Upon that activation, a coded signal will be sent out to several of my operatives who are currently manning stations across number stations all across the country. Once this occurs, the secret codes will be transcribed and allow my numerous Manchurian candidates within the United States military to simultaneously take control of all of America's nuclear stockpiles, where I will then all at once launch them at targets of my choice, ensuring that the mass societal disintegration that we experience today will be accelerated and I will rule over the ruins. And I play Tannhauser and he's a wizard. Question. Yeah. Isn't that like the plot of the G.I. Joe movie? I was going more for a skull face angle. Did you get your evil plan from a cartoon? No. And the one who will stop Speaker is SaltyJub. That's right. I am SaltyJub. For every gifted sub that will be given unto the narrative declaration thing, I will punch Speaker again when I affermend him. I have already eaten my explosive, so I'm fine. I play Snot, a goblin. And of course, the one who will be happy when we all find Explode is Thurston Hillman. Oh, release me. Oh, Explode. So I may be released. Hi, everyone. It's me. I'm not SaltyJub. It's no, no, no. Click contest. It's good. It's good. It's good. Ten out of ten. You know, I'm excited. I'm back from a from from a work trip and a, you know, vacation. Like Zoran mentioned, I've also come back to the construction of a big, thick deck. That's all. Hey, oh, the deck news. What what color is your deck? Blue, red, green. Some Azorius is a tan color. Yeah, it's going to be natural. It's desert. You got desert, desert lands in it. Desert planet. I required desert power. I required desert power. The end of this debt, this bit would be that you were just building like a regular deck like for your home. No, no. But OK, but but but so like weird aside. So we've got the carpenter out who's like building the deck in our backyard right now. It's like this big thing. And I was chatting with him and he's like he made some comment. He's like, yeah, like, you know, I'm kind of a nerd myself. I play Warhammer and I'm like, what? What? What? What? So that was a fun little. You just open your basement and go like, yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm not saying I didn't immediately like invite him and be like, come check out my multiple. Or you could have just locked the basement and gone like, wow, Warhammer. That's really embarrassing, man. You should be embarrassed. Yeah. God closes, closes door slowly behind. You still play with that kid shit? Carries like one of your titans over. He's in a baby carrier. The joy toy of Horus gets delivered that day. Shit. We still haven't got our thing, by the way. That last time I've checked, no, it still hasn't arrived. The baby carriage night that if you watched our Warhammer show stuff that I basically mistakenly like jokingly, we ordered like this like big night, which is like seven hundred dollars. There's one before the game one, which is like, it's like, you know, like there's like plastic, like really nice model toys you can give, like space marines and orcs and stuff like that. The joy toy one. Yeah. Yeah. We got this really big ass night one. And I don't know where the fuck it is. In fact, I'm going to look it up. Let me see if I can find it in my. So good. I got an email last week saying Warmaster Horus Lupracal was being mailed to my house. So I'm eagerly awaiting him. You know what we should do? We should start putting that night at the back of milk cartons. So people might, you know, tell us where our. Have you seen my night? Yeah. He's got a. He's lost out there. He's cold. He needs to be where he needs to be a proxy of. He needs to be on the tabletop. Proxying is a Titan. And that's where he needs to be. He's unpainted and has no varnish. That's the thing. He comes pre-painted. He does. He does. I don't think you can buy a version. Okay. I found the thing. Let me see. Okay. Okay. I placed the order February 5th, 2025, and I have a return window closed on March 23rd. That's past. So where is it? View order details. Probably pre-ordered still. Because they probably aren't done. I think it's like a January or September for that one, isn't it? Is it? Like, because Horace, like, I ordered Horace shortly before the night. And it just, like, I just got like a, it's in the mail. So. Yeah, because the thing I did was, was the deposit. So nothing's been said at all. Unless he just forgot about the thing. Yeah. I've, I've not a, I'm not a gosh dang clue. It's gone somewhere. My baby boy's lost. I need him home. I need him home before Gen Con. Yeah, you have to wear the, yeah. That was the whole thing. You have to wear him to Gen Con. Yeah, when we do our Gen Con. In the baby carriage. Yeah, we do our Gen Con thing. That's how everyone's going to find my ugly ass. It's just like, I have the night. It's strapped to my chest. Come forth and, come forth and say hi. Regardless of that, I am playing Orin, the Strix Druid. Oh yeah, oh yeah, we're doing interesting. Yeah, we're doing a show. I'm playing Orin, the Strix Druid. Not Strix Druid in it right now. It's the Summoner and stuff like that. And of course, we are going through our awesome, was it Gorgoth art? Was it right? Am I stupid with names? Yeah, yeah. All right. And we're going through our amazing art for that. Figuring out where Tannhauser lives and of course, how his people survive in this harsh world. And of course. Shittily. Yeah. Very much of a struggle, I would say. Thurston, what adventure do you have for us today? Well, I'm going to give Speaker an opportunity here to recap again for Hero Point. Oh, fuck. What did we do last time? I was skipping it for time. Oh, well. That's why I handed it off to you. Well, okay. Fine. Fine. Fine. You have to do a recap kind of thing because we just tell people, go watch our show. See, here's the thing though. Okay. Go watch our show. But then I, then like Zora and I, like Uno reverse card on this. How many of the players are actively remembering where we left off last episode? Because it is- I remember- I've given him a break. I remember. I have notes. I got notes. I remember- Oh, no. Bless you. I have notes. And we hung out and we got the revolution- We got the vandal soldiers to be our friends. And we told them about doing the revolution. But I forget where we ended the session. Yeah. We brought the vandals back to Naistrum. And we were gonna- We had them kind of join the revolution. We talked to- Well, first we talked to Tub Guy again. And we got to take a fun ride on their big, stupid battle barge. And I love them. And we were telling stories. And we were having fun and drinking and all of that. And we were gonna take him back to the heretics camp. And then Tannhauser got a cool vision about Uncle Blaze down at the Black Papacy. So we're gonna go. We're gonna deal with the underground pope. The bad one. And then we brought- Does anyone remember our actual plan? We're going to attack one of Golgotha's citadels. There is a general whose name slips my mind that is guarding it. The revolution had a plan, you see, to go and attack one of these citadels. But in my notes, I have noted that her plan was kind of shit. And then my very last bullet point is we can fix it in all caps with six exclamation points. He's not there yet. Don't reveal him now. Get up your surprise. No, we did. We did reveal him last time. No, we didn't. We did. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. He's not in my notes. No, we didn't reveal him last time. No, we didn't. There. We did show the art. He's not in the notes. Play the clip. We were told his name. We were told his name. Yeah, told his name. We haven't seen him yet. His name is Geno Dusk the Massive. He's the guy that killed my French. I want to kill him. Regardless, that's the recap, Thurston. What story do you have for us today? Was that good? Can we all get one fifth of a hero point each? More like a sixth, but I'll give it to you. All right. We cut to... Yeah. No. No. I was going to say the fool has allowed us to obtain a hero point. We shall be victorious. Does it round up? Does it round it up here? No! Round it down. Die. Into the Golgothan Wastes is where we begin. As our adventure takes place, you are all planning on making this better. Specifically, Tanhauser. You are looking to utilize your art and lore of warfare, along with those skills of your allies, to come up with a new plan to lay siege to the great citadel of Geno Dusk. Massive. All right. How are you going to approach this? This is kind of an open thing for the players to decide how you would like to handle this. I need a quick summary of all the forces at our command and their capabilities. We really cuts out the tent. You got, like, a couple guys. We've got some vandals and their funny car. We've got the heretics. Don't know how many of those there are. Let's hope it's more than, like, eight dudes. Send dudes. Send dudes. What? Send dudes. The dudes are killing him. Hey, Artis, can one of you just please give me a thing of Vena typing, like, send dudes meme? Send dudes. And then, but it's Tanhauser saying, or but it's Tanhauser replying back with an image going, I need more men. I need more men. I would also accept if we open with Tanhauser writing, like, one of those Civil War-era letters that's narrated by a speaker. Who am I writing this letter to? I don't know. You tell me. All right. My dearest club talk. Oh, no. No, it's Bulgic. Yeah, 100% Bulgic. 100% Bulgic. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, let me, let me get some Civil War music going, okay? Oh, good, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me, I can, I can, well, then I'm here, you're in. Hold on, let me, let me, let me find some Civil War music. Sorry, you're going to have to. Royalty free. Yeah, royalty free Civil War music. Speaker. God, I just want them to role play. We are. Listen to the move. Yeah, exactly. Can you narrate it in Tannhauser's internal voice instead of his actual voice? Yeah, whatever Tannhauser thinks he sounds like. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. My dearest Bulgwick, I'm writing to you in this moment of time. No, I'm not going to let you narrowly declare Tannhauser has the bearing of a Confederate state. I do declare I remain yours eternally. Yeah. All right, hold on, hold on. Tannhauser's sitting at a desk. To my most esteemed confidant, I'm writing you now on the eve of victory, which whether we are victorious or slain, will reverberate throughout the history of this dusty, sun-bleached land. The people of this land call for freedom, and I shall answer. With my sword in one hand and magics in the other, my destined band of fellows will have no doubts about our course of action. In their greed and indolence, the powers that be in this land have grown superfluous and round over their obese amount of excess victory. But I'm slowly leaning in. I know, he's becoming more Southern. He's got a big handlebar mustache, got a big 10-gallon hat. But always there will be more men that will gladly run into the slaughter and the fire of angry lead in order to make other men free. I must now end this letter to you, for I have begun speaking in an accent that is not my own. And I suggest that it is possibly the inherent magics of this land that are being channeled within my magitechnological apparatus. But I will say this. Once we have the men of Golgotha in their tiny little huts, splayed against a wall, we will mount them on top of great and mighty pikes, with their entrails leaking out of their guts, beaten black and blue by those that once oppressed them, and we will scream from the top of that ivory mountain, we are free, we are just, and then we will proceed to massacre their families. With thine sincerely, General Tannhauser of the revolutionary movement of Golgotha and Outset. Well, Tannhauser, having finished this letter, takes this quill. Well, I don't know why I was talking weird that whole time, but he'll fold it up, use wax, press it in, and I know exactly who to give this to. It'll walk up to Oren. Yeah? Yeah? All right. Read this, this will tell you what we're doing. He opens it up. I can't read. He doesn't know how to read. Fuck! He takes his big ten-gallon hat, throws it on the ground. Damn it! He's Tarnation! I have everything planned. Oh, fine. I'll really quickly take that back, and I'll go up to a, is there like a male, a male room in the giant evil death jalopy? There's also a female room, in case you wonder. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a male room, too. Yeah. Well, Thurston. I know, Hugh, you get a hero point. Like, how the fuck can I not, like, after that? Like, I like, I like, I like the Civil War a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I may be a deep-throatin' lobster, but that, that Miss is just gonna be terrified of the enemy. I'm sorry, a deep-throatin' lobster? Don't, don't pay attention to it. Right, anyway. I'm not that deep. I might be deep-throatin' lobster, but I don't know nothin' about eatin' o'quafers. That might be a simple deep-throatin' lobster. However, listen, Oren, all you need to know is that we're going to take Harper's Ferry, or whatever the hell this citadel's called. Yeah, but how? Violently, obviously. Yeah, but there's, like, a process, and, and, and we need information about the place, and, and, and, and maybe, like, maps, and, and, and entry points, and maybe secret entrances. We don't, we, like, we, like, he, he opens up the flat. We don't have an army, Mr. Tannhauser. We got, like, a rabble of dudes. Oren, how the hell do you not know how to read? I love how you turn it around, Donham. How do you know you're gonna hit people with all of this and not know how to read? You never, you never, you never had any curiosity as to what language is when it's written down? Well, I only, I only know, I only know my people's languages. Okay, well, what languages are those? You know, I mean, I mean, I mean, druid tree people languages and, and, and, and common stuff, but I don't know the written common word, so. Well, you speak common perfectly, like, like you were born into it. You haven't, you haven't picked up any writing? Well, you see, as a bird, I mimic. So it's because you're a mocking bird? Yeah. Kind of like that. You see, you see, it's a very, very kind of turn around, you see. I mean, just. I don't even know who's mad at it. I think somebody should kill you. What? You know, they make, you know, my teachings and stuff didn't really include a lot of writing. I didn't really pay attention to that stuff. All right. Hold on a second. And I'll reach into his pocket. Wait a second. So every time I've handed you revolutionary pamphlets. Yeah, I always look at the pictures. You never, you never read them? I only look at the pictures. You never even tried to remit an adventure idea for, what, a year? Tars of Game Master, how long has it been? It's been like eight days. We didn't really establish a time, so. It's been the better part of about half a year, maybe three quarters of a year at this point. Anyway, yeah. During that entire time, I just was really appreciated. You gave me something that you're really passionate about. And I tried to study the pictures really hard. So you have no ideological link at all to any of this. You have no idea what the hell we're doing. Nah, I'm just hanging out, man. Holy shit. Most things I usually hear about the revolutions is from you screaming. I do do a lot of that. I suppose I've communicated something along those lines. Yeah, you hate the government and how they oppress people. And you wanted them to have more freedom and stuff. And all the other shim-sham. Shut up. I'm really glad that I found you before the fascists did. That's all I'm saying. You, so you see. In an improv show. We come to a pass of the uh-oh. And we're going to move past. Because so many jokes went through my head, and none of them would have gone. Oh, no. Look at this letter. Wait, do you know how to read? Horse. How to read. I was taught from a very early age. There's something going on. You know, for a second there, I know you were saying, of course. Horse, but all I heard was horse. And then, of age. You know how to read horse? I am a horse. He's, what? How long? No, you're not. You're lying. Kirsten, I'd like to make a narrative declaration. What is that? For what? I! What is this? I'm like, all right, guys, you get this chance to start, like, building your evolution. All right, we're going to. I want to be a horse. I, I, ah. Okay. Um. All right, um, tell me more about your narrative declaration. I would like for no less than one second to become the likeness of a horse, a la Rahua. Only our party can see it. Nobody else will see this. I just need them to know and live with the knowledge that that did just happen. Then it just goes back to normal. And we just move. And just. That's it. That's it. That's the narrative declaration. Getting high on the spice. That's it? That's, that's, that's all you want? You sure? You sure? Nothing, nothing else in there? Okay, fine. For three seconds, Roa will turn to the party. And just simply say, I've always been a horse, Tannhauser. You know what? And just make them go back to normal. Because I'm, I'm clearly out of body for this session. I, I want to give you. I want to, if you want. Uh-huh. You have, if you have something in mind, you can, you can just tuck a little surprise in there later on. Dealer's choice. Oh, okay, okay. You learn to spell animal form. You can now turn into a horse. The dealer seems scared. So, so Thurston, what happens? Well, uh, he briefly assumes the form of a horse. Um, that is a mental trauma moment for you. Um, and then. Excellent. I spend a hero point. He's a horse the rest of the session. I narrowed him and locked him in his bed. Rest of the session, horse. Okay. Uh, Ruhua attempts to channel the anarchic energies of the anarchy, uh, momentarily turning into an equine tree-based form, um, but is suddenly trapped in there. I appreciate I didn't even have to tell Zorin to knock down Tannhauser a hero point, because we all know it's happening. He just did it himself. Yeah, he did. All right. Oh, my God. All right. You're a, you are a horse. Whoa. Now you've seen everything. How long have you kept this secret from us? I didn't know horses could smoke. That general's gonna fucking kill us all. Thank you, Oda. We gotta ride it off this tunnel, boys. We're riding, I'm riding Ruhua. I, God, it would be psychic damage. All right. All right, Arndelle. We know, we know you're out for this arc, but like, you really should listen to the episodes to catch up on what you did. Oh, I, I don't think that he should. I think we should, this is just gonna be something that's gonna come up and have no explanation later on. And we just simply have to carry on later in his bewilderment of what happened. If I had a nickel for every time a party member rode another party member, I'd have two nickels. And I think that's a bit too much for this show. It's true. All right, guys, we've had a good run. I, I'm, I'm assuming that riding on Ruhua, is that going to be the same as riding a war horse or a war pony? It's Ruh, it's Ruh horseback. Uh, all right, I'm out. Okay. Okay. Um, so, Speaker, what's your, what's your plan? You were, you were looking for disposition of forces. You have a Vandal, uh, land barge available to you? Yes. Yes. Um, and the Vandals on board. You have the, the heretic forces, which number in the several dozen. I see. Okay. Now, this citadel, does it have any, say, central command node or any command center in which this general might be expected to be operating from? Oh, yes. Past the wall is an immense citadel, um, of which the, um, the, the citadel opens directly into a throne room. Okay. Presumably very well defended. All right. Here's the beginnings of my plan. First, we sally the Vandals out as a diversionary threat. They... That wouldn't be green. Exactly. Yeah. They shall be able to gather the attention of these varying forces, after which time, we shall begin a flanking assault. The Vandals shall fall back, where the heretic forces shall lay in wait for ambush. This will draw the enemy into a protracted combat from both sides, ideally into that same pass we were earlier, someplace where they can be funneled into a limited space, and their superior numbers will be less of an issue. But all of this is transitory. For as this occurs, we shall make a headhunter strike on the core citadel. We shall enter into there, kill the general, and raise the flag of the revolution, whereupon we shall turn the guns of the citadel upon the enemy. I have one question. Yes? How do we flank a city? Well, we draw its attention in one place, and we go where it isn't looking. Won't he be where everyone is looking? Yes, and that is why we attack from an obtuse angle. Once we enter into that citadel, the Vandal attack retreats, and tries to bait them into pursuing. Whereupon, the heretics will ride to their aid, and together, in a pincer strike, they will be able to wipe out more than their share, or otherwise give them a damn good bloody ink before being forced to retreat. Are there walls to this citadel? There are. Almost certainly. But you discussed using the land barge as one of its great options is that it can basically break through walls. Yeah. Um. Why don't we just go in with the land barge and then put us down exactly where we need to be with the crane? Well, that certainly could be part of it. What matters is that their eyes are focused not on a small group of infiltrators, but at a larger assault. I am assuming that our forces will be outnumbered by a citadel's defenses. Could we, could we perhaps get more help? Hmm. Do you have more allies in this place? There are many people in the deep, the deep wastes. If we had a convincing voice, someone to rally the people. Yes. Yes. Someone who's diplomatic. Right. You need me. And send your letter. Hopefully they'll read. Yeah. Diplomatic. Uh. Your diplomacy is really good, right, Tannhauser? Yeah, your intimidation's like, plus what? The Tannhauser looks at his hands, his metal hands. Oh, wait a second. I just remembered. Yeah. I'm made of metal and I'm really scary. Yeah. Veena. Uh-huh. Do you know anyone that's exceptionally diplomatic? Ah, damn, I'm drawing a blank. Well, you'll have to do then. All right, that'll work. You're the captain, yeah. All right, do you mind going about and seeing if you can gather more allies? Sure. How far are these people in the deep that you're talking about? Well, they are around about a day's journey to the west, a day's journey to the east. They are all around. This is what we call a downtime activity, if you would like to pursue it. So you can spend several days just kind of basically deciding how you want to approach this. So if you want to, you know, have some of your group go and recruit people, if you want to scout the enemy. Basically, if you want to spend a few days of downtime prepping for this, you can. And you can each kind of tell me what you're planning on doing. I mean, most people would listen to, like, a skyborne woman riding in on a wooden horse. That's true. Yeah, that's true. A horse, a horse for who will be the real, the real linchpin in this operation. He will go away. You can convince the natural creatures of this world to rise up and revolt. He kind of sheepishly kind of looks down a little bit. He's like, I still have my problem, Mr. Tannhauser. Oh, that's right. I could try, but... Oren, what if you, um, ran messages between differing groups for wider coordination over long areas of time? That's something no one else could do. Uh, okay. I'll do it. Excellent. It's perfect because it's ultimate security since you can't actually read anything that you have. Yeah, yeah. They'll never get the information out of my brain. That's right. And if they torture me, I got nothing. Except the location of this entire place. You're damn right you have nothing if they torture you. It's just going to be one of those, like, all right, everyone picks their downtime. And then it, like, cuts to still frames with all of you smiling. And it's like, Oren was lost in the desert and never heard of it again. Sayahalud got him! Sayahalud got him exclaimed by Sayahalud. Sayahalud. Sayahalud. That's where they're going at him. Bless him, the maker, and his water. Oh. Bless him. Bless him. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Yeah, go ahead and give me the first message and tell me where to go, Mr. Tannhauser. You've got it. And, uh, Rahua. Maybe you could, uh, do something useful, eh? No more horseplay, eh? Stan Houser? I'm sorry, please. I'm a sugar cube. The warm energy. I don't know how he stare at himself right there. There he goes. As long as his face is benign. I just think all of this is a motherfucker. Please don't shoot a laser beam at me. Rahua horse. The anarchy is manifesting, dude. Oh, my God. I feel so bad. I have a question for the DM. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is, uh, what is a horse for who is cutie mark look like? Shut up. The anarchy is divine symbol. There's not a new $20 to gain a hero point to make Tannhauser's legs. To make Tannhauser's legs? What the fuck is happening? I love all of you so much. Curse of Horus is taking my audio. Damn, I would like to make this. What the fuck? I got it. The enemy is jamming our communications with a horse. I got to turn him down because it's probably sharp for people's ears. But, like, uh. Holy shit. Okay. I love you so much. So much. Oh, my God. Yeah, just say what connection you can, man. Well, just, you know, just try different spots for better Wi-Fi connection. I do genuinely love the idea of a radar jammer to stop you from talking to the horse. You're a horse now, so you can't talk. Yeah, sorry. Regardless. What else would you do? So, yeah, yeah, okay. So we got, we got, uh, Oren. We got Tannhauser. Um. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Uh, Vina, you're gonna, you're gonna rally people. Yep. Uh. It's not a, it's not a goblin. What's, what's not a goblin gonna? I want to find the goblins. Yeah. Yeah. I have Lord Goblin. That makes sense. Would you prefer Lord Goblin or Lord Golgotha? Goblin. I think Goblin's the. Goblin's the one right here. The Golgotha. Okay. Okay. Is it a recall knowledge or would you consider this just a shit? A check to find the goblins. Hmm. A check. Not recall. Okay. I'ma do the goblin check. I rolled a natural one. All right. All the goblins are dead. Uh, I can't, I can't re-roll that one, right? Uh, you can, you can. I can? I will. It does come. Absolutely. Absolutely. I rolled an eight for a total of 30, uh, for goblin. But I do get a complication. I absolutely do. Um. What do you got on the complication chart? So, uh, I've already had a few, but let me show you this one. Um. Okay. Uh. Uh, this one happened previously, and I think this is awesome when we are in the camp. Uh. Wait, wait, wait, when you say it happened previously, is this a, like, one we've used before, or? Uh. We shouldn't reuse them. We shouldn't reuse them. Oh, that is true. That is true. We should not do that. Uh. That is awesome. Give all of our cool patrons time to torment you. That is, that is perfect. I get one from Ninja Charles, uh, which is made in Lemuria. Uh. Turns out the equipment you were using is of substandard quality. Not only does it, uh, solve or do its intended job, it makes it worse. So, are you just showing up with, like, a giant goblin racial slur t-shirt, or what? No, I show up with goblins, and they make it worse. That makes sense. I, I'm gonna make a narrative declaration. Yeah. Um. Yeah. In, uh, in the world of Tyne. Yeah. Uh, Lemuria is a goblin tribe. That's in Kolkotha. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Under, uh, but they're underwater. That doesn't make sense. They've got the water theme. Thurston, can I, can we make it? No, no, I said their Tyne version is a, uh. Oh. Is goblins. Is goblins. Can we make it, can we make it like this, Thurston? So that, um. I bring in around 50 goblin for this purpose. And then those 50 goblins over these days cost 25 soldiers to die. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Oh, okay. We have 50 goblins. Ah, the good alpha booster tactic. So that would like to hurt myself. Yes. Yes. But we, no, we have 50 goblins now. It's true. It's true. You do have 50 goblins. Okay, we do have 50 goblins. But 25 less, uh, other people. If Lex Luthor stole off this many cakes. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. You, you managed to recruit a group of 50, uh, Golgothan Lemurian goblins. Yeah. Um, which come out from the deep deserts, um, in support of, of your efforts. Yeah. And when she brings them into the camp, she snaps her fingers, kills one, the 51st goblin, uh, that, that is along with them. So that every other goblin knows she means she's serious. And then she points towards Tannhauser and goes, he did it. What? He's the big one. He's the one. Listen to that guy. Huh. Did it. Okay. They are, they're all in, I wouldn't say, uh, uh, is like a bad term for this. They're all in like stupefied fear. Um, you are the biggest, coolest guy. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like that's, that's definitely part of, of this whole mathematical equation of these Lemurian problems. Yeah. Um, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Tannhauser. That's me. So actually, wait, wait, no. Oren, what skill check do you want to use for, for your, your little, uh, trek out into the city? Uh, since I'm traveling around everywhere, uh, I would assume maybe nature to try to better navigate the, the desert. Yeah, sure. Let's do nature. Let's, let's, let's get a Golgotha nature check. Uh, natural one. I love this game. This game is so fun. Like this is, this is the cursed episode. I love it. Hold on. Hold on. I didn't mean it literally when I said the general was going to kill us all. Oren, you fool. You've, you've, you've forgot your still suit. My deck of leader, my deck of leader's empty. My deck of leader's on. No! Shy hello needs me. At least all my items. No! All right. All right. All right. Yeah. You, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I'd prefer to ask of a pity point. At this point, you need it. Like, in order for us to progress any level of coherent plot, you're going to need it. Please, please, please. I should, I should take a pity point as soon as the UI stops glitching. I want a complication that's just like, an ornithopter bombs you in the, oh, ornithopter. Oh, ornithopter enters the PVP zone. Yeah, he's in a deep desert. Oh, now I got, now I got to look around for another complication to see if any of that works. Ornithopter. Get in your ornithopter. He's batting his wing. I hate you. I love that that was the clearest thing from Hulky. That was, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm looking, I'm looking. So fucking good. Like, oh, my God. Let's see, let's see. Orn whipping out his pocket full of goodies. Ah, yes, worm sign. Orn walks out where Orn is. Sorry, Orn walks out where Orn is? I should hope so. Oh, great. Now there's two of them. He finds a thumper on the ground and he wonders what that is. Or who walks out, turns on his shield, does nothing else. Okay, so I'm going to take one complication. I'm going to take one complication. We're going to turn it into what we're wanting here. So we're going to take this from, um, from, from Saad. Thank you so much. Remember, you two can send a complication over at patient.com forward slash narrative declaration. So your complication to the big old list so we can get a pull from them. So, uh, the, their thing is, whoops, Butterfingers. You drop your weapon or tool on the ground. If there is a person next to you who drops on their foot. Imagine them flying, right? Flying around and stuff. And I kind of drop the weapon. Yeah, I've seen that. You know, and he keeps hopping around looking for it. Like, oh, what? Where is it? Where is it? And then a giant sandworm comes up. And so, so I had to run for my life or else I get eaten by the sandworm. What, what's, what's, what are Golgoth and sandworms like? Flat. Flat? Probably, uh. Not the speaker. Probably, probably more like the, uh, the, the David Lynch dune sandworms than the Denevian wolf sandworms. Um, I bet you probably could wear a suit made out of worm larva. Like, that would be pretty cool. Um, yeah, I, I imagine they're pretty big. They're vicious. They can't be as big and vicious as the Arakeen dune worms. Because, uh, they don't, uh, uh, take up too much of, uh, the desert, I suppose. But they're probably the equivalent of, like, dragons in this land. Like, probably the biggest worms are the equivalent of, like, an Elder Dragon CR. Do you wanna, do you wanna hear my pitch on a silly? Yeah, I'll, I'll hear your pitch. I like that. Uh, Sea Cucumber has the ability to throw up its innards. They are super sticky and then they drag them back in. Uh, the, these worms just aim at things flying in the sky and they shoot up their innards and drag them back in. Ooh, that's pretty cool. I do like that. I also like the idea, maybe they're, like, they got, like, lamprey mouths, right? Because what's on your ground, the Black Papacy, they're a bunch of vampires. Sandworm's probably under the ground, too. Makes sense for them to kind of be a little, little freaky. Maybe instead of, like, throwing up their innards, it's a bunch of proboscis. And they, like, suck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And then they drag you in. Drag them up. Okay. So let's say I drop the message that I was supposed to deliver and I lose the message from the worm. Oh, no. That entire pit squandered. You drop it, turn around several steps later, the ground begins to shake. You run away, the single note consumed by a massive worm. No one's going to believe me. I can't go with the bear as Orn dies. Yeah. Or as soon as it gets eaten. So. Well, you just got to commit. You just got to get sand to your death, idiot. Yeah, dude. What's wrong with you? It's that simple. All right. Let me hear a point about this roll so I can roll another one. I roll a four. So. Okay. With the plus 10, it's a 35. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I'd like to imagine the complication would be that I dropped the message and now Orn has to recite from any words Tannhauser has said of what the message probably is intended to be. Which makes it a lot harder to convince people. It's like, yeah, I had a message for you, but then the worm ate it and you want to kill people that sit down with us? It's like, we're going to beat them up. We get a lot of people. You managed to attract. You managed to attract a very particular crowd. Um, this crowd has really no idea what's going on. Um, like they show up and they're just kind of like, yeah, we want to go mess up the Citadel. That sounds, that sounds cool. Uh, you're a nature guy. Okay. And they sort of just follow you around creepily. Yeah. I bring them back. Like, I found these guys, Mr. Tannhauser. Uh, who the hell are you? They're like, they're like, they're like desert hobos, basically, is what Orin brings back. Like, scrappy people who've survived out in the deeper desert. But, well, it's, it's been hard. They've lived hard lives. Let's put it that way. How many of these desert hobos will be added to our ranks? I'll give you a troop of, um, of, of 32 desert hobos. 32 desert hobos. Whoa. This is 50 goblins, some, some desert hobos. All right, I'm going to organize our desert hobos. Okay. I'm going to say, what's the plan? All right, hobos, listen up. I will give each of you a can of beans. One now, and one upon completion. Okay. If you do a good job, I'll also throw in a soup can. All can. So here's what you're going to do. You are all going to approach the citadel. You are going to intermingle with the lower classes for a few days. Whilst you are there, you are going to be secretly spying on points of interest for military personnel and will-to-do figures within the citadel. Once you have returned to me with the secrets and rumors, as well as the points of interest within the citadel, in two nights' time, you will get your final reward of the beans and soup can. Roll me a flat check, speaker. Sure thing. Let's see if all these hobos immediately fuck off. 19! Hey! Somebody's hobo. These hobos, they're like, I don't know, they got the same training as Solid Snake. They go in like nobody's business into this citadel. They know. If you walk without the rhythm, you don't attract the worm. That's true. It's also very true. They like, gaitly shift their way into the citadel. And very clearly, as they enter the citadel, they're just kind of meandering in. Like, just, it's this massive group that just comes in, like, waves. Like, one, maybe two people at a time. And they all continue to just, like, filter in and out. Like, security checkpoints try to stop them. The tech guard. The DNA troops that are there. But none of it seems to keep them out. They still just manage to slowly but surely edge their way in and come back with intel. And, like, I assume, like, Tannhauser, you're just standing there, like, with, you know, Oren, who's been helping out with this. And as you're, like, there, you're just handing soup cans to people who return. And they're providing you detailed information on the interior of the structure and structural weak points that only, like, a wandering vagrant would know. Yes. Vina, what the fuck skill check are you wanting to make for this, please? I want you to bring in the elite unit. Come on, now. You're putting a lot of pressure on me. I know. After the hobos, you've got to step up the game. Yeah. All you've got to do is complicate. Metal Gear hobos. My God. Yeah. Yeah. Vina is going to go where our revolutionary friend had indicated. And she is going to, so she mentioned that they were people underground. Was I given any details about, like, what they're like, what they value, that kind of thing? These are people who live in the shade, the sort of rock-dwelling people of the Golgothan Wastelands. They're very, which is very rare in Golgothan. They're very, like, sedentary people, so they don't move around a lot. They tend to be brisk traitors, though, in the aftermath of a Citadel's presence, it's incredibly difficult for them to do well, just because the tyranny of the generals really stamps down on that. All right. All right. All right. Yeah. Then Vina is going to find these rock-dwelling people. She's going to see the situation at hand. And she's going to find whoever looks like a community leader, somebody influential. And she's just going to say, like, hey, I'm going to keep it real with you. We're here to take down that Citadel so you can go back to living in peace out here in the Wastes. We're going to make sure that they can't step on your throats anymore, and we're starting a glorious revolution. Give me a diplomacy check. I'll have diplomats for you. This is really just going to determine how much your horse is majestic or not. Sorry, I have... Oh, who gets to aid? Of course I do. It's true. All right, all right. Let me check my relevant skills. Yeah, I'm all for majesty. Religion. Religion. Or diplomacy, you know. Repritus to the people. Cheers. All right. Come on. Come on, Vina. Hold the diplomacy for me. All right. Oh, I'm rolling. I thought I was waiting on Ruhu. Oh, no. You go first. I think I have a problem with... Natural 20s. Holy shit. Natural 20s. The curse is over. The curse is over, y'all. I guess it is. You transferred your bad luck to everyone else. Yeah. Oh, my God. Take that. God. Yeah, I guess doubly soda, Hulky. I'm really sorry, man. Hulky, you want to still give me that aid check, please? I'll take it because it'll be funny when you inevitably roll a one. Yeah, yeah. Crick to bring down the success. Yeah. Let's find out what's going on. Oh, my God. Yeah. Do it up, Doug. Let's bring it up, Doug. Yeah. Hey, not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. You did it. You did it. That could be worse. Could be worse. Not bad. Not bad. You did it. Yeah, Fina will get to, like, a, I don't know, these rock people's tavern or whatever. She'll do a backflip on the center table and go, the only thing you have to lose is your trades, brothers. Let's go. Dang. Um, they reveal, uh, their, their scavenged array of tech armor, um, and their, their, like, their war suits. Holy shit. And they've been waiting for the opportunity for someone who is willing to leave the rocks to lead them. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I'll get the armor. I'll shake hands with whoever their, I don't know, mayor is. And, uh, yeah, I'm, I'm coming back with a posse. Damn. All right. All right. We'll, um, it's on and on. It's imagining Vina in that starship troopers mode. Like, don't you want to live forever? Are they all, this turns out. True. It's so true. Uh, all right. So we have goblins. We have war hobos. We have tech armor. Um, oh, anyone else wants to, uh, well, Tanhauser, of course. Yeah, I'm Tanhauser. Yeah. What, what would, what, what sort of work would you like to do to improve this? Okay. Well, I think there's only one thing that needs to be done. Um, I would like to utilize a skill that I've got, but haven't had much of a chance to use. It's boating, isn't it? I'm so scared. I would like to utilize my powerful boating skill. Excellent. Good. And by boating, I of course mean my original purpose here on Golgotha. You see, back before I was a warrior, I was in charge of fixing the war rigs, of learning the machinery. Tanhauser learned magic and had an aptitude for it because technical work on sophisticated Zeskorin systems was something that he grew up doing. And I would like to, if I cannot say, I don't know, make a Emperor Battle for Dune, Harkonnen Devastator with a radioactive engine. What I would like to do is shore up all of the technology, the weapons, ideally the vehicles and the armor that is going to be used for this deadly interaction. And I want to try to turn this stuff from ramshackle to as close to pristine as I can. Speaker? Yes. Speaker D. Yes. I'm going to ask you a question. Okay. It's very, it's very important because we're coming full circle, right? We're, we're, we're, we're in the latter, the latter half of the campaign. We've had a lot of evolution from where you started. Um, is this where you make a war dirigible? Is this, is this the plan? It has to be, doesn't it? It does. It really has to be the time for the war dirigible. It has to be. We have to go back to that time. You tried to make a fucking dirigible of the swamp. And now, and now we're back. Now roll the natural one, please. You got it, boss. Anytime. I'm going to spend, uh, my specialty ship crafting and I'm going to be working night and day one day over this. I'm going to use my Nanite Surge. And I'm going to go ahead and get an additional plus two skill bonus. Whoa. All right. With all of this coming to my mind, let me quickly add it properly. Hold on. Jesus Christ. Okay. That's another tab. Going to build a montage. Building a dirigible during this montage. Here we go. Three. Three. I will spend a hero point. Yes. We're to right click the thing and spend a hero point. That is going to be a 41. Yeah. There we go. Come here to montage. Mantar. Speaker D. Tell me about your dirigible. Well, the war dirigible has been assembled and let me tell you, it is a thing of monstrous beauty. So the 3D model is spinning. This is like the unit description when you just unlock it and command and conquer rock grind edition and the voice narrates on top of it, telling you what, what the war dirigible is. Excellent. So. Hell yeah. For a dirigible, there are an awfully disconcerting amount of spikes and pointy bits on it. The dirigible balloons are spread about tactically in different places to create redundant safeties. Some of them are false and are filled with napalm and toxic gas that will descend downward over wherever it is. Orin raises a hand. Yes. The ones filled with napalm and gas, are they above the dirigible or below the dirigible? Below. Okay. I'm just making sure we weren't making something really dumb. This is an artillery platform. It is going to be utilized in order to bring to bear the greater weaponry, bombing runs, troop deployments, and even air-to-air combat with the use of these cutting scythe blades that can be launched out in 360-degree angles. It can do that really crazy thing from the last Starfighter. You know the thing Overwatch ripped off? Yeah. That's right. I just realized I've literally let you just build a fucking ornithopter so you can PvP with it. That's right! It has the deadliest arrangements of rockets and missiles known to man. And all of this through a dirigible that is not only compact and easy to utilize and produce, it only has a minor, minor chance of, you know, catching a fire and murdering everyone on board. This is a great and subtle craft. It makes no noise. It can linger at high altitudes and strike with the wrath of a demon. What do you call it? Like the design? I call it the Zale Pattern Death Balloon. Hell yeah. That's awesome. Excellent. I'm going to grab the camera for a moment. Hi, chat. It's me. Listeners, it's me. Podcast listeners, we don't do this much, but I'm bringing you into this directly. Okay. Players, just shuffle off to the side for a second. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. No worries. Yeah, we're going to make, like, somewhat skip ahead here. This is like, we're not skipping ahead directly in the story, but, like, I'm bringing chat with me a bit, like, ahead. Thanks for all the high thirisans. I appreciate it. Okay. So, now, speakers, like, describe this whole thing. Okay. Okay. I'm going to, like, pose something. I think that, you know, we talked about that there's hundreds of members of, like, the DNA troop that make up the Golgothan armies under the generals. These troops have, you know, crewed firearms. I'm going to, I'm going to tell you about one of them. His name's Tim, right? So, Tim, Tim, Tim hasn't been in the DNA very long. But he's got a rifle. He's done a few practice shots with it. He's there. He's got this thing. Now, Tim, Tim, I think, is going to be one of the first people to see this war derritch. Well, now, I want to make an arrangement. Not Tim Curry. Though, though, fascinating fact that I told Zoran the other day. If you read the Dune prequel audio books, they are narrated by Tim Curry. Oh, wow. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. There you go. There you go. Or at least there is a version of his name. Anyways, so we'll call this guy Tim Curry. This DNA trooper, Tim Curry. He's got his rifle. He wants to prove himself. So, chat, what I think we're going to do here is, I think what we're going to have is Tim Curry, the DNA trooper, is going to aim that rifle when he sees the Zale pattern death balloon approaching, right? And this is in the future. We're doing a little. The players don't know. This is just us. So, are you okay if what I do is I roll a d20, and, you know, if Tim Curry just rolls a 20, he's going to blow up the death balloon, and, like, this whole montage has been ruined by Tim Curry. Cool. I'm just going to roll this dice. There's no chance I'm rolling a 20. Don't worry about it. Just on the off chance. Figured. You're okay with that, chat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pretty. Yeah, yeah. You're all good. Okay, cool. Trying to Drakengard his ass. I am. Just a little. Motherfucker, that's, that, oh, you bastard. One off, you little bitch. Holy shit. Holy shit. Fuck. All right, I rolled a 19 for audio listen podcast mode. Okay, okay. You know, I might have eventually forgiven you, Thurston, but would you ever have forgiven yourself if you were that funny? Then Tim Curry dies to the napalm. All right, let's, let's get back to the prep. That was a little, little preview of what's to come. Let's go back to the prep, everyone. All right. There's a part of me who want to go. I narrowly declare you re-roll. No! Did you get me a kick, Zoran? No! He's not giving me advantage. He's giving Tim Curry a bit. Yeah, he had two shots. I'm kidding. Couple-barreled rifle. Let him have this. Let him have this. No, it's a three. It's a three. We're good. We're good. We're good. What have I rolled? Thurston, can you get a petty point? I'm sorry. Look, everyone's just fucking rolling. We just want to see if any of us. Come on, fuck the speaker's epic moment. We want this guy. We want this guy who thirsts to subscribe for all of three seconds to get a W. Come on. Any time a blunt gets made, we all just think of the Hindenburg disaster. We just love a firework. You know what's funny is the Hindenburg disaster happened on my birthday. That's awesome. It's appropriate. That one was for you. I mean, not like the day. Yeah, was it? You see? Was it also for you? Yeah, I was about to say, this one's for you. It was just like 9-11. It occurred for me. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Every day is a new night, everyone. Sorry for that. Sorry for that little side detour. Okay. Back to the... Yeah. So, yeah. So, speaker, you've got the... Is that for you? Oh. Thanks. Thanks, Paul. I think you're lagging so bad that you delayed. I don't know. I think he's out of time now. He's out of sync with time. Roger, recap your thing there, Thurston. No, I was just going to say, so... Here comes a very special... Thank you, Fireball. I'm going to mute him for a little bit. Keep going. I'll wait for him to catch up. Oh, wow. Disrespect. Oh, that fucking slay to me. He's just out of nowhere. Okay. Oh, fuck. So, Tannhauser has completed construction on the Zale pattern death balloon, which takes about the same time it does to retrieve and deploy your hobos, retrieve your tech armored guard, retrieve your Lemurian Golgoth... or your Golgoth and Lemurian goblins, and Rahua is still a horse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, Rahua the horse could do something. Yeah. He could call forth the anarchy itself. He aided. I think it's only fair to see Rahua, how he will aid our glorious movement. You... Okay, okay, okay. Let's see. Okay, here's how I'll adjudicate this. If you unmute Hulky, and Hulky can respond to what horse Rahua wants to do to aid in this, we'll do something. He's unmuted. Okay. So... Just a moment. Okay. Rahekwine. How are these gonna help? How are these gonna help? I'm not even sure if this is coming through because it's here. I might just be a garby of dissonant sounds passing through internet tubes here. I don't actually know at this point. Keep going. Seeing how the tides of entropy have so thoroughly warped him. He must work to the advantage of his compatriots. I would like to roll religion. You, on the seat, slip a ton of causality. I would like to beseech the powers of the anarchy to persist breaking the fence of this bastion. Give yourself a plus two circumstance bonus because of your great, like, your great in-character voice acting. Yeah, that's a two. And that's not good. You can't re-roll. You have no re-roll. Can I spend a hero point to let everyone re-roll? No, you can't share them. Oh, God. Do I have any pity points? I have pity points. You want to take a pity point and complicate? Yeah, he does. I want to hear him read complications like this. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Hey, chat. Fucking touch. Rate one out of ten and chat on how much... Tell us also in the comments how much... How good this episode is. I'm fucking dying, everyone. I love gaming with you. You're all such good people. To be known, this episode is my official anti-endorsion of Chromebooks. Nice piece of shit computer. I'm going to buy a new laptop. Oh, my God. You're on a Chromebook, you poor bastard? Oh, I have a new laptop. Oh, my God. I used to have to live in the same way that that is. I feel your pain immensely. Oh. Oh. Holy shit, you poor fucking bastard. Everyone say thank you, Hoki, for dedicating time that he's been away from home to still be here for Rockrind. Don't thank me. I want to do better and not be talking to the ethers of a busa. You know, the funny thing is that was completely clear. Of course. Of course it was. Alpha, when you inevitably reach this episode and you're listening, because I know you listen to the show, just let me know. I'll be sure to give Hoki a hero point if you shout it out at this exact moment. Thank you. Oh, my God. He's going to find a real banger complication to him, right? We got a called episode, Anarchy Horse. Looking for a real funny one. I'm scared. I'm going to call this episode, My Little Rahua. My Little Anarchist. Or we'll call it Anarchy is Magic. Oh, that's a good one. If that's not already in our, like, you know, lexicon, we need to add it. Like, oh, my gosh. I can't ask another group of VTubers. Like, where did all the brownies go? They all disappeared. They become beautiful trans women. Leave them alone. Literally, I was about to say, but they all just disappeared from the internet. Like, I'll see a remnant of them ever so often. And it's like a unicorn now. It's like, oh, there's one. I knew two, like, really hardcore brownies in high school. And both of them would later go on to become flourishing trans women. Yeah. That is just, that's my, that's my conception of what happened to a large amount of that social strata. The brownies, the crystal estate. Yeah. Yeah. Hulky. All right. I found one. Okay. This comp, hold on. Let me, let me make sure. If I, if I talk like the mind virus, maybe it'll improve my connection. It's working. So this complication comes from username Duke of Mania. The complication is called Rush Hour Make Way. Unfortunate timing. What's in combat or otherwise in an open space, a sudden crowd of people or animals charges through disorienting their path and possibly changing their position. I hope you practice crowdwalking, kid. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with it. I'm gonna go with it. That was completely clear. Yeah, of course. But the fact that, that, that the person who put it in specified, like, crowd or animals makes me think that there are Golgothan horses that are attracted to Rua. They're actually, hello? It's, it's funny. I don't want to go home. They're called Golgothan horses, but they're actually the juvenile form of the Golgothan sandworm. Yes. Yes. They look like a centipede with two really long legs. I see. I like the idea that there aren't legs. They're like scooties. Yeah. With four really long legs. So the silhouette is like a horse in the distance, but they are just centipedes with four really long legs. Well, I have, I have really good news then. Um, do you get a unit of Golgothan horses, which are actually centipede monsters? Put the goblins on them. Put the goblins on them. Put the goblins on them. Put a goblin. I'm, I'm here for that. I'm here for that. I like this. Put the goblins on it. And now he's gone again. Now, like, like now that he, he, he read the complication and then it's just back to the fucking shadow realm. In the, in the red alert rot grind game that will inevitably happen. Now there is such a thing as a Golgothan goblin cavalry unit. Right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Um, so speaker have created the, um, the literally the worst, um, like setup imaginable. Um, you're going to have to come up with a plan of action, uh, with which, how you're going to use the chess pieces mangled as they are to enact your dream. And, uh, we're going to go on a little break. And when we come back, you're going to hear how speaker's going to use all these chess pieces to overthrow a citadel. And it's going to be right back, everybody. Easy. You ever wonder how we could afford all this amazing art and keep the production going and narrative declaration? Well, it's because of you. Either you're a member of Patreon, a YouTube member, or a Twitch subscriber, all the way to just someone who's just willing to watch the shows whenever they come out for free. And then telling people that we exist, it's thanks to you that narrative declaration is able to grow to the size it is today. And if you want to really help it grow even more, all the revenue that we get from our merch store at narrative declaration.shop, where you can pick up game mats, t-shirts, posters, all sorts of things. That also goes directly into supporting artists, animators, editors, players, game masters, anybody, anybody who helps make everything to be due here successful. So, thank you so much to you for supporting the show, either it's monetarily or just with your time. Thank you so much and enjoy the show. Nice. I know, right? It's incredible. I timed it. There's someone who's been, who's just probably just jogging itself and just got an ear full of burp. Just, and he's like, oh, it's hot. Well, I am playing a goblin. It's a thin character. There's someone who we're doing. I, I, sorry, I'm recovering from some sanity damage. We're not playing Call of Cthulhu. That's next campaign. I mean, you're not. But I think Thurston is the only one of us who is playing Call of Cthulhu. Let's be honest. I'm playing a very different game right now. He's the only one with fan points still to lose. I believe where we left off was I had thrown the ball in Speaker's Court with all of the delicious board pieces that you now have. To create your revolution against the Golgothan Citadel. That's definitely what we talked about over the break. Oh, yeah. We talked about some other stuff. Thank you. You too can hear about what we talked about over the break. If you become a YouTube member and or a subscriber on Twitch and or go to our Patreon.com, where you too get to hear what we talked about. The growing never stops. It's that marriage of declaration. Unless. My face hurts. I know. Speaker, fucking, fucking speaker. Please tell me how you're going to use some hobos, some guys in plate armor and goblins riding sandworms, a land fortress and some some people who live in the hills to, I don't know, make your dreams come true. Before I do that, I would like to ask you one more thing, Thurston. We're missing someone here. And it's not non-horse Rua. And it's not glub talk. Okay. I'm pretty sure it's folded up in a drawer somewhere. Instead, we're missing the mad alchemist, Baldrick. Who, if I recall, is back with the ship, making sure it doesn't get picked over by like scavengers and whatnot. Uh huh. We've had several days. Would it be reasonable, Thurston? And you can stop me if it wouldn't be reasonable to say that perhaps while he's been away watching the ship, we've been able to remain in contact with Baldrick and he might have furnished us with some explosives. I will allow this on one condition. Okay. Zoran, bring up the prior music from the beginning of the episode. I think you require another letter to be written that you must narrate. No, no. The other music. Oh, sorry. Hi, Baldrick. It's not Darius Baldrick. Figure out why we use that music once more. Not Darius Baldrick. You can know why we use that music, but it's... I guarantee it. The comments I have made on my YouTube channel have been taken out of context. I'll get you settled in. Let me... Oh, God. Is this it? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I got the... Hold up. Okay, I got the whole fluid. I got the music going, so... Perfect. Whenever you're ready. Oh, excellent. My dearest. My dearest... Wait, hold on. That's not Tanhouser at all. That's just a completely different guy, actually. My dearest... One of the hobos. My dearest... I am one of the hobos that is taking notes for Tanhouser. He says that he's going to make us all free. Now, listen. My handwriting may be beautiful, as I have studied calligraphy at the foots of the ancient masters of the art in a past life. But do not let this distract you from the most apparent and overwhelming desire that we currently have. As of right now, we need some goddarn splosers. Because we've got to stick them mother hubbers up some structurally superfluous new behind. Now, we need splosers. We need bombs. Please, please, please. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Gimme bombs. Gimme big bombs. I need some big bombs. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You might be wondering why Tanhouser was saying all that. Well, he was. Quite frankly, he spoke a bit too fast, and I didn't catch all of it. But I think they're just about... Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh. Oh. Oh. Ah! Ah! Aldrich, this is Tanhouser. I've taken the letter back from that homeless man. I am now writing you on the same... I'm reviewing this, and basically, everything he said is still important. I don't know why he insisted on writing, Ah! Ow! As if he was in pain. Because I just asked him to hand me the letter, and he looked at me in the face, and he said, Nope. I'm gonna keep writing this letter. That's me talking like him. I suppose that won't track over the written word. Anyway, please, please, please, please. Give me, give me, give me big bombs. I need them. Thank you. Your friend, Tanhouser, smiley face. Of course, I'm so glad I can't read this. I think what made it... I think what made it... Was the comment in chat I read as you were saying that, which just read, This reminds me of drugs. What is a specific one? Just, this reminds me of drugs. That's... That's the comment. That's it. Yeah, man. True. True. Everybody gets a hero point for that. Yay! Yay! Oh, God. My face hurts. Okay. It's been good. Okay, so you... Yeah, it is. You have bombs now. You've acquired Baldrick bombs. Yeepee. You may add them to your plans. We cut to the War Council. There's... There's Veena. There's Tanhouser. There's Snotagoblin. There's Orin. There's a horse. All around the table. Snot puts a cigarette in... What was it? Re... What was it that you called him in this form? A Rehequine? Rehequine. Puts a cigarette in Rehequine's mouth, lights it, and then, like, takes another one for herself, and she eats it. That's pretty sick. So cool. I've never seen a horse before. I've never seen a cigarette before. That's a lie. You gave me one. No, I didn't. That must have been Rahula. Ah. Different... Different wood... Wooden creature, I guess. Okay, so... Overlord, we all don't question it. What is going where? Oh, yeah, there's miniatures on the board. Yeah. And it overlooks... It's not as spent all of our down... It's not as spent all of our downtime, like, just making little miniatures. It overlooks the... The map of the... Vista of the Great Golgothan Citadel. Yippee, there it is. Are I allowed to declare a charge in this turn? No, you're over 12 inches. There's no units for you to charge into. Wait, hold on. I spend one CP. I get stuck in. No, that's not how it works. You can consolidate closer, but you need... It doesn't... Your horse. Hello. Shut up. I'm sorry. I got hangry. Have a... Have a Snickers. And I shouldn't treat you this way. It can be your friend and your mount. I'll have you know. Rahua, do you mean that? Of course I do, Tano. What the actual fuck is happening? Hold on. Roleplay's happening. Longually listen to the horse's eyes. I, singular. I say as I... As I gingerly caress who has leaf mane. A horse like you comes once in a generation. And I think I'm your Huckleberry. Huckleberry. Hey, I am yours. You have five minutes. Get this the fuck out of your system and I'll be back. I think we're horse married now. He's gone. You fucking killed him. Okay. Okay. Thirsten's gone. Can we agree to the fact that if Tannhauser does ride in on Rahua's back, Rahua just manifests to wooden handles for him to hold on to. Like a bike. Ooh. What do you think, Rahua? Like a motorcycle? Yeah, like, yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think that that would be pretty cool. Yeah, and like no saddle. Like he just manifests one out of wood. I'll do you one better. Like, if he's ridden into battle, get the handlebars for like extra cool points, get a bit of like anarchy flair to it so it's like a mane of stardust and stuff. It's real, it's real like fanciful shit. Like, you're looking positively majestic. You're a soldier of fortune. You're the outrider right now. Yeah, and always he will be with you. To make believe with Mace. forever and ever. All right. Harmony, harmony. Everlasting journey. How come this is the clearest Hulk he's been all session? I guess this is the most important thing. This bit in particular. This fucking bit in particular. Yes. This is the only thing that matters. Yeah. Odo, my sweet Odo. Open your eyes and see your eyes are open. Fuck. I have to open my eyes to see Hulky. That's how they work. I didn't listen to always in so long. That's going back in my Spotify. But listen. Always I'm gonna be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony all right. The ADHD one thirsted I'm really sorry. I have something I have something to edit for the overlay. Uh-huh. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh, he's cooking. This is what I imagine Rahua licks like every time he's looking at us. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, I'm so worried. That's your image now. Got to wait for it to catch up. Oh wait. What the fuck? No. I'm so hungry. I can't even see it. It's an open twitch. There you go. I see it. I see it. I see it. Hey, Hulky. Can you say Rahua's iconic line? Oh, so hungry. Oh, so hungry. How hungry. How hungry. Hungry, Tannhauser. I almost said I got it. So, Skelly, Skelly, Skelly, Skelly, for the art asset for the YouTube, we're going to need you to draw Rahua, but if Rahua was a horse, that's the episode art. We're going to make Skelly quit. What if he was a honce? Oh my god, yes. I think, I think, it doesn't matter how we attack at this point because we're going to win. I don't know if that's a guarantee. Love is blubbering. That's optimistic. That being said, I suppose I should still come up with some kind of strategy, eh? Yeah, we've been waiting for that for... I had given it and then there was important role play moments that needed to happen. All right. We've been waiting for about two hours. You know, I remember, let's flash back at the beginning of the episode where I said, all right, here's the plan. We'll rule them out with a feint. And I had all this tactical stuff and then it was just like, yeah, and then we got a bunch of goblins and now I need to amend that, but still, I've done. Where do you guys go? All right. Here's what I'm thinking. Yeah. We are going to send back in the homeless and they are going to be equipped with Baldrick's explosives. Okay. They will spread out places. I like this idea. And then get... I like this idea. A different fate from the citadel to meet... to take mass confusion. I thought you were going to be like, we're going to send back to the homeless and they're going to integrate into their society and they're going to start getting jobs. And then once they start getting jobs, they'll start getting homes. And then once they start getting homes and stuff, they become the bosses of the people inside and they begin firing them, turning them homeless. You're good at this, Zorid. You should play Tana Housing. That's the kind of thing that wasn't. You're right. All right. Much nicer outcome than, you know, like, so we're a slide boner. It's okay. We are going to send the homeless and we will have them plant these explosives at least a day before the invasion. Then, all at once, they detonate and that is our signal for the attack. The war rig will make itself known, speeding out towards the enemy forces. Yeah. Of course, they will come to meet it and that is when the Zale pattern death balloon will begin raining hell from above. It will send out the forces in a disorderly fashion to attempt to evade the artillery strikes. But we shall create a clear quarter here and here in which the war rig can travel to the citadel itself. Once there, the war rig's main goal is going to be smashing open points within the main walls of the citadel. Yeah, breach! Yeah! From those breaches, we will send away forward teams. The goblins, they shall be set out to sow great discord within the bounds of the walled city as the other show. I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! That's right! The homeless shall also be let loose on a volunteer basis with rusty knives. I don't really know what they're going to do after that. In fact, it might be irresponsible to let them just run around. We don't have regular knives? Do they have to be rusty? We don't have any regular knives? They aren't trained on how to use regular knives. They only have weapon proficiency with rusty knives. All right, yeah, that makes sense. Why is that a proficiency for the homeless? What if we put, what if we put these guys, the, you know, the survivalists, what if we put them around this area and we have them pick off people with rifles? Yes, yes, that's very good. Yeah, anyone who flees gets just, you know, gunned down. Once the initial strike forces have been deployed, they will have a scant amount of time. I won't lie. The odds of survival are low for any who volunteer, but their place in history will be enmeshed for the ages and they will be known forevermore as heroes of Golgotha. Do you know any of their names? Yes, this one is, uh, uh, Neo Spectre. This one is Death Itself 4-3-2-1. This is Antim 2313. This one's Stasis Delirium. I remember this bit. Yeah. Everyone start typing real fast to get included to be hobos. This one is Chaos Madness. This one is the Silent Coast. Hey. Hey, Thurston. My name's Dina Trousers. Hey, Thurston. Yes, yes. I spend a hero point to narratively declare that goblins name themselves after the biggest, coolest thing. Like the group, the goblin group names themselves after the biggest, coolest thing. So now, uh, the, the clan previously known The clan that was previously known as, uh, I have it right here. I had it. I had it in my notes. It was wasted on this. I had it in my notes. Uh, they were previously known. Where are you? You are in my notes. Where are you? Ah, and Lemurians, the Lemurian tribe are now referred to as the Tanhauser tribe. Aw. Tanhauser tribe. Hell yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's really sweet. Very sweet. They're all gonna die. They are all going to die. Yeah, every one of them. Unless that makes it so that they will all survive because they're supposed to die. They also, they, they have a, like, they have sandworms, so, you know, they might not just, like, explode. Exactly. Now, once these teams have been deposited, we will quickly make our way through the chaos and attempt to penetrate deep into the inner sanctum of the general whilst his forces imagining that they'll have to chase after the war rig will likely focus on that as its primary target. Indeed, most of our forces will be there. Little do they know that after this has occurred, after the first bombs have fallen on the city, they will be wading into an ambush. The war rig will retreat to this location, a narrow valley, and from behind, the rebellious heretic forces shall launch their ambush, encircling them. If you cannot force a surrender, wipe them out to the last man. then should they not fall for your fate, instead, the war rig will continue to launch harassing attacks until it finds a band of warriors willing and able to give chase. whilst all of this chaos ruins the city and runs through it, we shall cut off the head of this fetid serpent and free these lands. Where's the part when I get to eat Dusk's head? Orr just claps, he's like, hell yeah! Can we get it? Can we get it? Can we get a, can we get a hell yeah from everyone? Yeah. There's, there's like a bunch of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! Yeah! The goblin sounded a little, a little bit wet. Just a little, just a little. I, I, I don't know why, I, I had this like, mental image as speaker was going through everything of like, okay, we cut to like, the war council, like speakers around the table. It's like hour one and then like a messenger comes like running up like with, you know, messages from the front. He's like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, we'll need a tad. How's it? Is it a problem? Is it a problem? What is the problem, soldier? Looks like a quarter of the homeless people got jobs. How can this be? Who would employ them? We're not in an economy for that. Oh, I think they joined the army or recruited. No. Thurston. Fucking hell, Hulky Crow. What, what are you, what are you, what? What, Hulky Crow, what? What? What the fuck are you unleashing? Give me that. Thurston, pause, pregnant, pause. All right, Hulky. Okay, yeah. We didn't have to bring pregnancy into this, but okay, uh, I would like to make a fucking, fuck, I'm sorry, that took me completely out of that. I know. Yeah, thanks, Thurston. I'm just sorry, I'm just, I'm looking over at the game and now I'm just seeing the horse. Sorry. A pregnant pause, how pregnant? Hulky, Hulky, you gotta get out of here. I'd like to make a narrative declaration. Hulky, you gotta get out of here. No, you're not. No. I narratively declare that he has no hero points anymore. Hey, Chad, welcome to narrative declaration. I'd like to really apologize for the horse and pregnancy you've been here inside of the show. I will be sure to rip her in Hulky by beating him senseless until he turns into a pile of paste. Thank you so much for watching the show and please remember to like, comment, favorite, and subscribe. Who think you think so mean and base of me to make a joke about that and not on my shame on you. Shame on you. You're the real monsters here. On his birthday. On my birthday? Really? Privacy art in front of my birth? My face? On my birthday? Fuck you. Thurston, I'd like to make a narrative declaration. Markets are incredibly volatile right now and those jobs that were created were just taken away. If not, even more jobs were taken away because the markets are so volatile right now. Those homeless people don't have jobs anymore. In fact, you're more people who don't have jobs. I love homelessness. What is your problem? A second messenger runs in 10 minutes later. Sure, sure, the economy's crashed into Citadel. Really? What about all the homeless people and their jobs? We have 200 of them now. Damn, I'm good. The economy crashed into the Citadel? I gotta get out of here. Another wave of inflation. Get your home. Another wave of inflation. inflation has hit the Citadel. I know there's two towers. But please. Please, Sorrent. Sorrent. Sorrent, I know that when your brain sees two towers next to one another, something appears. The joke's already been said, Salty. Dude, you're so demonetized, man. It's only kind of my fault this time. Whenever he sees two unsullied towers. What I'm waiting for is like, we're gonna get the demonetized on this episode and it's gonna be like, there's just some audio in here that was really painful. It's okay. The live stream says monetization's still on. They haven't live got us yet. Twitch doesn't ban people for breaking the rules and we're fine on that front. You have to show your hips to get banned. I gotta lie down. My stomach hurt. My party, bro. We're never going to the next arc. Do I even have to make a warfare check or is this shit just gonna work out? Make the check check. I like, I like, yeah, yeah, I love, I love that at this point you're like, Thirsty, like, can we just, can I hit the advance the plot button at this point? Because I know if you make me roll a dice, I'm gonna roll a fucking one, Thirsty, and if I roll a one, we're gonna be here for another nine hours to take the warfare check, speaker. I'm just trying to do you a favor, really. Okay, I'll do the warfare check. I guess making the blimp was more important than actually winning the battle to Tannhauser. Because I can't actually use my, It's the principle of the thing. Yeah, I can't use my Night Night Surge. Spell the implication. Yeah, let's, The narrative. Yeah. The implication. All right, that is gonna be a 24. I just don't have a hero point left. You do. You do. You can use the hero point. I will spend my hero point and let's see what, I didn't re-roll utilizing the thing, but that's okay. I got a 13 anyway. For a 31. Can I aid? A 13? Yeah, you can absolutely. Awesome. I rolled warfare. I rolled two for total 20, still giving up plus one. Somehow, Snada Goblin points to things and aids you in your, your critical decision, King. If you, if you do a deep strike over here, you can get the objective easier. Why didn't I think of that? The maneuver unknown is still rain. That's right. The Communist Manifesto refers to this maneuver as steel rain. Oh my God. Battle brothers. We must assemble, the dawn is nigh. Oh God. Those people who Odo recruited are space marines. They're like armor. Holy shit. Yes, absolutely. Odo, you're a little folk or space marine. So what a chat. We had it for a second. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Man's house of four. There is no time to be lost. Speech. Yeah. Oh, you don't need to look it up. You don't need to look it up. We know that shit quite hard. Battle brothers. Revolution happens. Today, the enemy is at our door. We know our duty and we must do it. We fight for our honor as revolutionaries, as communists, and we fight in the name of the proletariat. Those of you who died this day die in glory. You die heroes' deaths. No, but you shall not die. No, it is the enemy who will taste death and defeat. As you know, most of our comrades in arms are stationed in air, prepared to deep strike. Our perimeter has been prepared in the event that the enemy should be so bold and so foolish. We are the communists. We are the proletariat's fury. I'm sure I forgot some parts of that speech, but I think that was pretty good. I think you're, I think you're pretty good. That's pretty good. All goblins clap their hands and shout random words from your speech. We have placed numerous beacons, allowing for multiple, simultaneous, and devastating, defensive deep strikes. We will descend upon the foe. We will overwhelm them. We will live none alive. As soon as the battle begins. Squad broken. Squad broken. Squad broken. We have failed the proletariat. Give me another warfare check. Battle comrade. Another one? Battle brothers. Battle comrade. Battle comrade. I mean, determine agenda. No, that is their gender. Comrade. True. 18 on the time for a 36. Identifies battle slash brother. That's right. The deep strike is highly effective into the citadel as your armored warriors enter into key points just as the homeless explosives begin going off. Yeah, they drop, as Tannhauser mentioned previously, they drop from the balloons. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hitting key areas affected by the explosions. Yeah. Yeah. But they're like a bunch of beahs. Yeah. Remember when people said this was the serious campaign? Remember when? I don't think we have any serious campaigns. I love my homeless bombers. The land fortress begins to roll up. I believe your plan was to eventually join the fray and head towards the citadel. Is that correct? Yeah, we are going to insert ourselves among the waves. We're going to try and sneak off to an alternative part of the outer wall and attack from an unseen angle in support of our comrades. Yeah. Like, Tannhauser rides in on Rahua. Vina can, like, cling to Oren's hands as he flies in and Snot drives in with her her mech. And that's our sneak mission. Most likely, we'll we'll help with the breach head assault and then we'll allow everyone else to begin kind of dispersing throughout the citadel to sort of wage asymmetrical warfare as they can whilst we go for the decapitated strike. Okay. So, with the walls breached, you are able to enter the citadel cityscape properly. There's a bit of a cityscape before the primary structure itself, kind of like a walled in settled sorts. the the resistance you begin to encounter from the Golgothan armies, particularly the the sort of shock troops of the DNA. You are met by units of the the dread DNA troops. So, with Tim Curry's amongst them as well. as you he looks he looks dejected. He's like, he's like, I had one shot. I rode a 19. Should have been a 20. What did you bastards cast guidance on me? And then he goes and he rolls down the hall. go to the one place where go go the hessent. Sorry. We'll turn to his day job as a clown. He was part of the clown wars. That's right. He's a, he said his story. This guy's way cooler than Tanhouser. Can I play as him? I mean, you can you don't look too dissimilar. Episode whatever the fuck we're on the episode where Speaker becomes Tim Curry. Excellent. Good. You can't caught in the flag. Well, how about that? Can you say skibbity riss with it in that voice? No, no. Skibbity riss with it. It works. I could probably do a better Tim Curry if I was listening to him right now. I do a better Matt Barry than a better than Tim Curry but I can do an okay Tim Curry I think. All right. Entering the city it's a bit of like a of a of a not hellscape but it is definitely a lot of urban fighting that your your troops are doing well the shield wall is breached as as that is then followed up once the the land barge smashes into it. by the the sudden onset of sandworms following through the breach It's a good thing we used Baldrick's family atomics on this one. Good. Good. Good. This this all so each of you what I would like you to do is to pick one skill that you have um that represents how you are getting through the fighting in the streets Okay and we will start in order of the streaming setup with Veena um Veena how are you you maneuvering through the combat zone? Yeah Veena's just gonna stick to what she knows she's bobbing weaving dodging and uh acrobatically moving through the crowd kind of slippery Okay you wanna you wanna give me an acrobatics check for that? Not bad that's a 37 Yeah 37 allows you to maneuver through without without taking damage while being part of the the combat I mean some of these are like low level creatures so I'm not making you fight like a bunch of things that you kill with one hit but it's this is representative as you're ducking and weaving through city streets making your way towards the large citadel proper trying to gain access to kind of the open courtyard area that exists sort of the kill zone but before that going through the city streets along with your comrades along with some of the forces you've brought in you are as you said ducking weaving moving between structures and buildings essentially getting your your bearings in what's going on and maneuvering up to join your companion for the push on the city uh fucking still the picture of the horse rahua rahua how are you maneuvering through this combat zone well you know normally I would be adhering to the tenets of the anarchy flow like the ink change scored underpinning all things however it's a bit harder to when you are quite literally horse so because of that with my new equine and aerodynamic form I'm cutting through the swaths of people with my sheer unmet speed my rough-cune horsepower my athleticism is unwell moving like a celestial stallion through these unexpecting sailings I would like to use athletics for this one alright give me give me an athletics check please you know what fuck yeah no hero points unless you want to do a pity point do you wanna do you wanna do you feel like you need some pity here dog two things one yes I absolutely need one because I have a complicated number two it doesn't actually let me right click in real you need to have a hero point on your character sheet also you might want to summarize your word so discord doesn't get you apologies it doesn't let me right click and I can't undo my hero points I will I'll do it for you or I'll try to thank you just re-roll and if it does a 1 through a 10 we'll add 10 to it yeah do it because you can't figure it out that way I pity you I pity you so much right now Halky thank you thank you for pitying me I appreciate you pitying me that's a complication for this pull this one okay okay little shitty chromebook you can do it I believe it's a nat one are you snoking no no no no no hero point shit whack galloping whack horse skills whack we need to take him out time to go to the glue factory I was just about to say horsefrua decides to dig a shortcut through the Golgothan glue factory not seeing the sign that gallops inside we have Ruhua finds his way into like a tarp and I'm just like no horse Ruhua you need to not give in to the darkness don't let it in no I can't take my rigid glue no don't take my rigid glue don't let it win I can't take a little good times why am I a sailor now we're trying to buy you time I'll get to find that complication I found it I found it okay okay actually it's for dexter perception but I think I'm rather un-dexterous or lacking perception right now this complication is brought to you by Jasmall the complication name is slippy spot whenever someone fails to check they will slip on a slippery spot of the map so I just like to imagine he's just running full bore into this crowd he hits like a little puddle of oil and just goes like oh like 180 degrees flips around and just starts sliding into the enemies that's pretty good his limbs do not flail he just becomes a static object he starts T-posing and this is called Kothan Horse we've got me going horizontal that's great horseizontal something's wrong with Rahorsa I thought he was Rahekwine whatever oh god no actually I'm a hoover guys we're so fucked I'm so fucked I'm gonna get fired we're gonna get we're gonna become like we're gonna be captured and we're gonna be put in jail being a being a on narrative declaration it's like that nightmare you have where it's like you're late for like the final exam of your college and you haven't been in college for like years yeah it's like that every day in real life and I couldn't be happier welcome to the struggle um um uh hulky hulky um rule me 10 d6 10 yeah you slipped you slipped on the funny and you saw a pair of massive stairs beneath you as you are flying through this through that roll me 10 d6 please okay okay you take 31 points of piercing damage from from the horrors of the glue factory that you will never speak of to anyone ever again but you know what happened there you know uh it's not a goblin how are you getting through uh isn't it tanhauser first uh no no tanhauser's last okay that's super cool uh hey thurston since I have a super cool mech uh can I use my mech skills instead of my own yeah absolutely that is awesome I would like to use athletics because a horse can't do it but my mech can um so I'm gonna roll for that and roll on 19 for a total of 40 uh get dunked on um damn uh so uh she walks in a straight line the mech walks in a straight line for the goal and if anything is in a way through people and yeah yeah whether it's allies or enemies alike it's not a goblin just maneuvers through yeah straight line towards the goal clearing the way for everyone else that's very noble hell yeah why can't I move to the left or right ah get out of the way walk in you amazing orin how are you getting through this uh I'm flying through trying to stay low with the building roof so all the riflemen don't get a good shot at me I like to use my athletics to get through yeah that's far you kind of maintain your flight yeah yeah sure roll the two on the dot I'm gonna re-roll that gonna re-roll it good I roll the natural one Jesus my god technically I knew your luck rubbed off into everybody else Soto I'm sorry I don't know what I did technically it's it's a oh wow technically it's a 26 it's still a natural one it's still a degree down to failure oh my god look what you oh let me let me see what Oddo did to me um I'm sorry I feel like I should take responsibility for this we'll take this from uh Yoji the Snake Magus thank you so much they have a complication called March of the Lishies oh uh as a part of the adventures of the parts unknown or their risks deeming combat a band of roaming leshy bards travel past playing their instruments horrifically the PCs must make an appropriate check to either ignore the terrible playing or use a skill to make them stop I like to imagine there's like some leshies that kind of like came in with everything trying to do like war music but it's really bad and it's breaking the vibe and it's just making everyone's morale really bad they're cactus leshy's yeah oh hell yeah oh that's really cool that's sick as hell so they're messing everything up and I'm gonna have um this this was the unit you could have recruited but instead you got the hobos from your previous crimp fail there's nothing saying you can't be a hobo leshy it's true that's true it is a tough economy except I'm gonna say no no those hobos have jobs they're good instrument players Zoran's established this yeah that's true how would you like Zoran yeah what check would you like 10d6 okay roll me 10d6 I've rolled 10d6 lost last sixes you're gonna you're gonna take 38 points of piercing damage as the leshy distract you and you get caught up in the gunfire of uh several of the dna troops it's kind of like a a war scene where you're moving through and then you're distracted you get shot a few times you have to find cover and yeah but you do and all I hear in the background is guys we're homers we're here we here at the Golgothan citadel do not condone such acts of violence oh fuck all right I take damage and head through all right all right tan tanhouser tan tanhouser tanhouser that's me I'm tanhouser how how are you maneuvering through this how are you leading your way into this place tanhouser's many things he is a revolutionary okay he is an engineer more than anything he's angry this might be the most useful use of this skill you've ever had and for a while tanhouser channeled that anger into physical power now this is not this is this is not my best skill uh-huh I could argue I could use my magic to get plus 22 I could use my knowledge of this score and get plus 18 or or crafting for another plus 22 I'm a master I'm a master in society arcana and crafting but instead tanhouser wreathed in glorious purpose at the forefront of a revolutionary army faithful glue sodden steed at his side I'm gonna use intimidation all right do it and that's a 28 14 nice that's 14 that's very symmetrical you manage to push your way through the crowd with your force of personality for once shouting yelling this isn't like a social gathering this isn't a party this isn't someone you need to turn to your side for a long period of time this is fear this is this is about intimidating browbeating your way through crowds and through troop enemy troop detachments who flee at the sight of the great heretic that they've heard of and legends for years they do so almost parting like sands before you and those you fight alongside as you close deep towards the citadel rip them in half break them do not show them an inch of mercy if they do not lay down their arms get them on the streets such as the fate of all tyrants long live the people long live the people you watch a man beaten to death by several bindles you watch another destroyed by space i mean tactical uh hill armor uh giant folk you you watch as sand worm uh riding goblins begin to accost the the immense tech guard that leads some of the detachments but you eventually make your way along with your allies to the great gate of the citadel where a host of troops await you a a easily um 30 soldiers with rifles stand at the gate uh your your fellow supporting armies have now broken the path for all of you to break through into the citadel and that is where we're gonna call today what a fun session i hope it's not the last one thank you everybody for watching this episode of rock grind brought to you by odo roshi it's me odo i i brought you vena the self swashbuckler you can find me on uh both blue sky and tumblr i've finally changed my url to match uh at odo bites uh you can find me on the discord at odo uh and you can find me um far across the plains the next time we have rahua or hokey rather sorry it's me i'm hokey crow you oh you're good you're good go ahead oh no hi i'm hokey crow i'm of course playing the kanrasu war priest rahua you can find me at blue sky x pretty much all socials discord at hokey crow same username same everywhere and on twitch at twitch.tv for hokey crow i'm just on hiatus right now and of course we have speaker of the d's hi everybody i'm speaker d you can find me on blue sky at speaker d and if you wish and you serve house harkonnen you can find me in dune awakening on the sculptor server i won't tell you my name but i hope to see many of the barons faithful out there on the fields bringing his wrath to the duke's lowly lick spittles well i'm bringing the wrath it's salty job it's me salty job i bring the wrath as saran said i am the artist who did a few things in this episode if you like that kind of art support narrative declaration that helps me as well you can find me at salty job on all platforms also shout out don't forget to schedule the next 10 episodes when notifications come out at once fuck you next up we have thurston hi this episode is also brought to you by a vat of ketamine hi it's me the thursday you can find me at all the things that i'm called gm i missed getting to play with my my my friends that's that's all we're gonna have friends hi i'm zon the wizard you can find me everything at zon the wizard.com all the streams videos everything else that i do along with along with managing all of this with all a bunch of amazing people to do this remember if you really like the shows and stuff like that please let people know we exist patreon.com far-sized narrative declaration to really help out the shows along with subbing either on youtube or twitch also really helps us out as well helps pay for all the artists people editors everything that we do to kind of keep the shows going it's really expensive so we really appreciate every single person's contribution to the shows so with that i love you guys very very much and we shall see you next time farewell goodbye everybody goodbye goodbye the ducks is a horse now a horse now