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Step Away From Your Life? Here's Why You Can't | Anxiety Reality · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for joining us, watching, listening here in the United States or abroad.
• 0:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, uh, even maybe if you can pull out your phone and share the Voices for Voices podcast with maybe 25, 50, 100 connections, contacts of yours, and share uh the good news, uh, talking about all topics.
• 0:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, there's uh really nothing that's off limits.
• 0:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, talk about easy topics, hard topics, all on the journey to reach and help at least three billion people with the B three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 0:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you for joining us.
• 0:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Happy to have you with us.
• 1:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If this is your first episode, or if you've been with us since the beginning, we have since uh the last show was episode 530.
• 1:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So this is episode number 531.
• 1:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's incredible to think that uh you know a person, organization out of their own home in uh studio at times um uh on the road uh is able to uh have this many episodes uh with awesome guests as well as solo episodes where I really just talk about the talk about being human, I guess is the easiest way to put it.
• 1:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh sometimes I try to be a little fancy uh with the words, but uh none needed.
• 2:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean we're we're human, right?
• 2:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're we're tuning in for one reason or another, and I am, as well as everyone associated with Voices for Voices, mythical creatures around the world, uh, and so many others.
• 2:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So grateful to have such loyal uh viewers and listeners that come back episode after episode.
• 2:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We can see it in the analytics.
• 2:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much.
• 2:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh we talk about a lot of things.
• 2:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh sometimes uh putting things into action looks and seems like it's an easy thing to do.
• 2:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And and it's not always that.
• 3:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not always that.
• 3:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What do I mean by that?
• 3:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to share.
• 3:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't I don't want to say it's always gossip, but oh well, they should have done this, and I would have done that, and I don't know why they did something this outlandish, this extreme, or whatever it is.
• 3:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then when there's you know the proverbial shoes on the other foot, when you're in those situations yourself, it's not as easy as it it seems.
• 3:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh you know, we had a member, member of our family, they're going through a lot of us are going through hard, hard times and hard decisions, and it's easy to say, oh well, he should have done that, or he she should do this, and even as somebody who has been on that other side, it's easier said than done.
• 4:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know why it is, it just is.
• 4:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I think I think part of it's because if you're share, no, if you're sharing, if you're recommending something or some things, there's a piece of separation, right?
• 4:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I'm gonna be able to go back to my house or my dorm or my apartment or my condo or wherever after whatever conversation experiences is going on.
• 5:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it's easy, easier because we're able to step away.
• 5:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But when you or I am living on the daily, it's not it's not always that easy.
• 5:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes it's not always evident to us as we're going through certain situations, certain experiences, and there could be a lot of different reasons for that.
• 5:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're not gonna hash those out, um, that's not what we're gonna do.
• 6:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I just want to to be a little bit of a little bit of inspiration because I since I have been on both sides, and yes, when I do have extra additional stress, I I do end up picking out in my face.
• 6:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So yeah, it's like part of my face is healing, and people go, Oh, you're doing illegal drugs.
• 6:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No, I'm not uh everything that I'm taking medication-wise is prescribed, and that's how I know I'm very stressed.
• 6:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It can also come with like boredom and that, uh, but I've had people say that to me, like, oh, I I bet he's a user, because I guess maybe that's a sign.
• 7:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've no problem talking about it because I don't take any medication that I prescribe or does not prescribe, and so having been on both sides, both the recommender and on the other side, like, man, something's just not right with me.
• 7:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I need to get checked out, need to get checked out, need to get checked out.
• 7:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I was just the anxiety and the stress, and all that was just building, building, building, building, didn't know what it was.
• 7:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Talked about stigmas, no health, all that.
• 7:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Stigmas that take a medication, people know, people see me getting an ambulance and and and and that.
• 7:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, most as if I'm sitting outside of a a liquor store asking for money.
• 8:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like that's that's not the case.
• 8:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I put our organization, our shows, our guests up against anybody.
• 8:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Any independent, anybody who is on a shoestring budget, and even that shoestring slips a lot.
• 8:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm here just to say it's okay.
• 8:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It might not seem like it is at the time.
• 8:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like right now it might not seem like it's okay.
• 8:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But there's people to want to help.
• 8:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And part of going through the maze is is is trying to find the people that do want to help and do want to be there for you and for me.
• 9:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I saw an article just the other day.
• 9:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was a person in New York City who had climbed to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge right a junk.
• 9:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know what I don't know what their situation, I don't I don't know what caused them to be in that position.
• 9:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What was in their mind?
• 9:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They got saved.
• 10:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There were people to risk their lives to go up and save this individual, and luckily they were able to save this person from making that decision to end their life.
• 10:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Another another story I didn't have that that outcome.
• 10:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Believe it was in Argentina.
• 10:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There was a flight instructor and a student learning to fly.
• 10:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And from what I remember about that story is kind of in the middle of this practice flight, the flight instructor somehow got the door open on the plane on their side of the airplane.
• 11:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was a smaller plane.
• 11:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just given the aerodynamics and flying and that it was explained that it trying to open that door, that flight instructor.
• 11:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was like opening a door, like a car door that's going 124 miles per hour.
• 12:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That person won it.
• 12:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so they got the door open.
• 12:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Last words, or something to the effect of you know what to do, carry on out the door of the airplane, flight instructor, I don't know how many feet in the air, if it was thousands, but they ultimately succumbed to taking their their own life.
• 13:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so for one minute, I can only I can only well I can go for I can talk for more than one minute, as we all know, right?
• 13:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: All I know is my experiences and what I've gone through.
• 13:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it goes on with family friends, acquaintances.
• 13:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't know what's going on in in in between the ears.
• 13:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That flight instructor.
• 13:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was said that like I said the force going the opposite excuse me, the force that was going in the opposite direction of this flight instructor was as if they were driving down a highway or anywhere on a track close track going 124 miles an hour and still having the strength and the energy to open that door and and to end things.
• 14:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Very, very sad.
• 14:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we have the you know the Brooklyn Bridge example where that individual is able to be set saved, and so people all the time ask us why we do what we do.
• 14:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You talk about you want to help and reach you know these large numbers of people, and that part is so true, it is.
• 15:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No parachute, nothing.
• 15:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's been a while since I've shared this on so in in twenty seventeen before I got the help I needed mentally, I had like crazy some crazy not healthy talk inside my mind.
• 16:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And one of those had something to do with all right, well, we're in one of these big planes because we're going you know to an exotic paradise, which it didn't turn out to be that way because of me, and it's it's my fault, it's my mental illnesses that weren't being treated at the time.
• 16:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I I just look at that and it's so so hard to look back on that, and uh and on that plane had a little bit of thought like that one I just mentioned, that flight instructor.
• 17:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't do anything, I didn't get up, I didn't try to open the exit door, I didn't you know flying forty thousand feet above the earth.
• 17:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I bring that up.
• 17:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't I don't bring that up for pity at all.
• 17:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I bring that up because there are some things that I have thought about I that have gone through my mind.
• 18:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Luckily those those don't go through my mind now.
• 18:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But at that time it was I I all I can think of is that higher power for me kept me safe, kept me buckled in, kept me from standing up trying to open up that exit door 2017 to and from our our honeymoon.
• 18:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was just Merrick Merrick.
• 18:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I had a frog in my throat there for a second, not a real frog, but so I I get that there's so many people hurting, so many people going through things.
• 19:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And the easy, the lazy is to be that bystander, just you know, keep on walking.
• 19:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not gonna stop and this person looks like they're in distress.
• 19:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But at some point there's gotta be there's gotta be some level of cooperation, excuse me again, start some level of cooperation, realizing, hey, I need to get I need to get evaluated, I need to get checked out, and this isn't like bringing this uh to be like, oh well, you know, this person is insane, you know, these you know I I feel at times that that's what mental health, that's where that stigma comes from.
• 20:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: People think of mental health, they think, oh, that person's insane, they're schizophrenic, they're this, they're that, these extremes.
• 20:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then I just hope one day more people will not think of getting evaluated for mental illnesses, mental challenges, then it just becomes like a regular thing, like a checkup, regular checkup.
• 21:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, if we if our brain is constantly burned out by doing too much work, too late of hours, and then too early of hours, right?
• 21:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you're up late and then again up early.
• 21:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So my my dad explained, he said, you know, you're burning candles at both ends, and eventually they're gonna meet, and then there's gonna be no candle.
• 21:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: My dad didn't coin the phrase, but that was one of the phrases he he would say to me, and that was one of the ways I I think he was trying.
• 22:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To get to me much earlier than 2017.
• 22:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I knew better, right?
• 22:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I I could I I could figure everything out.
• 22:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't need anybody else's help.
• 22:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Everything is my way or the highway.
• 22:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I think that vulnerability is something that is hard to talk about.
• 22:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because it's like literally stripping us down like into the flesh.
• 22:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not gonna talk about you know that.
• 22:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Then they're gonna judge me, then they're gonna put that stigma and oh, and then our stigma on oh you have to take medication.
• 23:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Okay, well, you just got too many problems.
• 23:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But when you have people, a community that wants to help, that wants to see me, others get better.
• 23:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That part's done because it comes out of love, and there's still gonna be people that aren't gonna get it, not gonna understand, are still just gonna be those hard-nosed people that are just like stop crying.
• 23:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Basically, like you're not supposed to have any emotions.
• 24:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This get up, go for a walk, take a deep breath, right?
• 24:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because we know that those cure mental challenges, they don't know.
• 24:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If a person hasn't eat isn't eating, and their diet's poor, going for a walk is probably not one of it.
• 24:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It depends how far we're walking here.
• 24:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, if we're walking 10 feet, that's one thing, but there's all these additional factors.
• 24:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are we sleeping?
• 24:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Okay, well, I've slept two hours in the last week.
• 24:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, it's probably not good to go for a walk because again, depending on how far how long that walk is.
• 24:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so all of us have a different plan for each of us.
• 25:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some can be considered similar and some different.
• 25:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just I just hope and pray that at some point all of our societies, no matter where we live, that we can stop putting people down, stop bullying, stop whispering about others.
• 25:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, did you see what they did, or did you hear what they did, what they said?
• 25:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh because those are the very things that are making part of what's making an individual act out in a certain way, and I know that from experience.
• 26:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like, oh you can't you can't have emotion, you can't.
• 26:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why do you wake up crying in the morning?
• 26:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why don't you get more sleep?
• 26:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why don't you eat more?
• 26:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why why don't we just find out how we can help and sit with that person?
• 26:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what that's one of the most powerful things my dad did for me.
• 26:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I keep going back to it.
• 26:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He sat for hour upon hour upon hour upon hour with me.
• 27:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Probably ninety-nine percent of the time not having a conversation of that.
• 27:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We did I just realized having his presence there was like a calming or a soothing effect, and that was like at the end of his life here on earth, just sitting with my dad was a little bit of like a payback for all the hours.
• 27:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He had things he wanted to do or that he would have liked to have done, but he didn't think twice.
• 28:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: He didn't go, well, I want to go, I want to go to the golf course, or I want to do this or that.
• 28:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like, no, this is my son.
• 28:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Whatever I can do, I'm gonna do.
• 28:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this doesn't have anything to do with money at all.
• 28:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is just that human connection, and like we have a dog now, and I I kind of feel like when she snuggles up, she might take a nap or something as I'm working, or it's like that that that feeling of comfortability and so I get kind of that a little bit of that soothing effect from Lucy, our dog on you know these longer work days where we're knocking out two shows a day talking about things that you'll see and hear in the future, but not too distant future at that.
• 30:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what gets me up each day.
• 30:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, I'd like to sleep in.
• 30:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But now I've entered the gym and so far, so good.
• 30:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Going to the gym, working out.
• 30:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just wanna be more active instead of sitting all day every day.
• 30:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So it feels good when I'm able to get up and get moving and it's not easy.
• 30:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to fall back into old habits of I'll go tomorrow.
• 31:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not gonna go today.
• 31:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'll go tomorrow, and then on tomorrow, I'll I'll go to I'll go the following day.
• 31:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: No, it it we find we found find the any excuse, new excuse, old excuse, we'll find any excuse to be lazy, and I'm number one here to attest to that.
• 31:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But going to the gym right now feels uh, you know, in the course of a day, it's a small amount of time.
• 31:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But whatever amount of time that is, it it helps me.
• 31:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Helps me.
• 32:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I hope I continue.
• 32:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I hope you continue, whatever that is for you.
• 32:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't be ashamed.
• 32:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't be ashamed.
• 32:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been ashamed of myself for lots of reasons over the years.
• 32:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it goes back to the very beginning of the show.
• 32:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Easier said than done.
• 32:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Recommend something, but then to do it's a whole different ball game.
• 32:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if you're feeling up to it, go for a walk, go to the gym, read an article in the paper or magazine, or do something that makes you feel good because none of us know our last day, our last hour, last minute, our last second for our last breath.
• 33:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I pray to every single one of you watching, listening, you don't have to be a believer.
• 33:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I am, but you don't have to.
• 33:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What you want, and that's why for me, I work so dang hard.
• 33:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I work so dang hard day in, day out.
• 34:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to do a show, I don't want to reach out to a guest, I don't want to respond to a guest request.
• 34:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I can do that, or like Nick Jonas says, is pull the chin music up and puff that chest.
• 34:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can do it.
• 34:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're already doing it.
• 34:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're watching and listening to this, even if it's for a second or three seconds or a minute or the whole show, you're doing it.
• 34:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you're inspiring me, us, voices for voices, mythical creatures around the world.
• 34:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're inspiring us to do what we're doing, to help in a way that has resonated and will continue to resonate with people from coast to coast, country to country, watching, listening.
• 35:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we're sending our love and support to each and every one of you.
• 35:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for tuning in.
• 35:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, repost, reshare, pull out that phone.
• 35:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know you got it.
• 35:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Pull out that phone, or you probably already got it out, or maybe you're watching, listening on a phone.
• 35:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Share the voices for voices podcast with 25 or 50 of your contacts.
• 35:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You won't be disappointed.
• 35:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They won't be disappointed.
• 35:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you and them can find voices for voices wherever you get your podcast.
• 36:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we will see you on the next episode of our wonderful Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 36:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye for now.