Latest / Arise Women of God / Is Mom Burnout Real?

Transcript

Is Mom Burnout Real? · Arise Women of God

• 0:00
  Is Mom Burnout real or are you just failing to handle normal motherhood?
• 0:06
  If you find yourself snapping over minor things, feeling numb, or wondering why you can't just shake off the exhaustion, hear this clearly.
• 0:17
  Mom burnout is 100% real.
• 0:20
  It is not laziness, it is not selfishness, and it is not a lack of faith.
• 0:26
  It is an objective neurobiological state where your brain and your nervous system have been locked into chronic survival mode.
• 0:35
  So stay tuned as we dive into this ordinary women extraordinary faith.
• 0:43
  When God calls, we say yes.
• 0:49
  Hello, and welcome back to the Arise Women of God podcast.
• 0:53
  I'm your host, Tamara K.
• 0:55
  Anderson, and today we are addressing a question that far too many Christian mothers wrestle with in private.
• 1:03
  Shame.
• 1:04
  Is what I'm feeling actually real or is something just wrong with me?
• 1:09
  Joining me today again is my dear friend and co founder of Women warriors of Light, as well as being a licensed clinical social worker, Wendy Christensen.
• 1:20
  In this episode, we are uncovering what is physically happening inside your brain when chronic stress triggers your fight, flight or freeze response.
• 1:30
  Second, the Christian gaslighting trap.
• 1:33
  And why faithful women dismiss their biological warning signs as spiritual weakness.
• 1:40
  Third, we're going to share two powerful moments from the Gospels showing how Jesus Christ himself raised, recognized, validated, and responded to physical exhaustion.
• 1:53
  And finally, we'll talk about why pausing to care for your physical body is an act of stewardship, not a failure.
• 2:01
  But first, let's go straight to Wende as she breaks down the real neurobiology behind maternal depletion.
• 2:09
  What's happening to a mom's nervous system when she is feeling burnout?
• 2:16
  You will have cortisol, which is a chemical to help you survive.
• 2:20
  You've got two parts in your brain.
• 2:22
  The middle of your brain, you have something called your amygdala, and that's your fight, flight or freeze.
• 2:27
  And it's there to protect you.
• 2:28
  And it's great and wonderful.
• 2:30
  If you're walking down a dark alley and a stranger walks towards you, you want that part of your brain to light up and go off.
• 2:37
  The problem is, when we are extremely stressed and burned out, that part of your brain is going off and it's sending this cocktail, this chemical cocktail all throughout your system that's getting you geared up to fight or to
• 2:53
  flee, to escape or to just shut down.
• 2:57
  And so recognizing when your body is in that fight, flight or freeze mode, that your body's trying to react, it's trying to recover, and that I need to do something to compensate is really important.
• 3:08
  What we want to do is we want to turn to our front part of our brain, which this is called your prefrontal cortex.
• 3:14
  And it's the place where you actually are able to calm down and relax.
• 3:20
  I like to think of your center part of your brain, your fight, flight, or freeze, your amygdala, as the temper tantrum child.
• 3:28
  But I want that cookie right now.
• 3:31
  Freaking out, right?
• 3:33
  And the front part of your brain is the adult moment when she's running in her good space.
• 3:39
  That's saying, you're okay, you don't need the cookie right now.
• 3:42
  You're gonna be just fine.
• 3:44
  That's the part of our brain that we want to be operating in.
• 3:47
  But unfortunately, when you are in your fight, flight, or freeze, you're.
• 3:51
  You're not there.
• 3:53
  You're just wanting to run or scream or yell, and your brain doesn't know what to do.
• 3:59
  It's trying to figure out, how do I take care of myself?
• 4:01
  How do I keep myself safe?
• 4:04
  So it's not just an attitude problem.
• 4:06
  It's your body trying to figure out how to keep itself safe.
• 4:09
  That distinction between your amygdala running in survival mode and your prefrontal cortex being able to regulate is crucial.
• 4:20
  Burnout is a biological response to your prolonged overload.
• 4:26
  Yet many Christian mothers fall into what Wendy calls the gaslighting dilemma, believing that if they just had more faith or prayed more fervently, they wouldn't feel so depleted.
• 4:39
  So let's listen to what Wendy counsels.
• 4:41
  When mothers bring this specific guilt into.
• 4:45
  Therapy, another thing that we might do is we might think that I'm not faithful enough, especially for a Christian mom, right?
• 4:54
  I'm not faithful enough or I'm not spiritual enough.
• 4:57
  I should be able to handle all of this, just be a good mom and a perfect mom all the time.
• 5:02
  I'm.
• 5:03
  Maybe I'm lacking faith.
• 5:05
  If I just pray more and read my scriptures more, I'll be okay.
• 5:10
  No, it's more than that.
• 5:11
  It's beyond that.
• 5:12
  Those things will help.
• 5:14
  They can be a helping it bring more light into your life.
• 5:18
  But there's probably more with burnout that's going on that needs to be taken care of and addressed.
• 5:23
  That prayer can assist, but it's not going to take it away.
• 5:28
  So realize that you're.
• 5:29
  You're not inherently flawed.
• 5:32
  You have worth and you have value.
• 5:34
  And God loves you.
• 5:36
  And he also loves when you get the help you need, and he's okay with it.
• 5:40
  And there's nothing wrong with pausing and taking care of you in that space of burnout and being able to move on and to move forward, feeling better and feeling like I am capable.
• 5:53
  I yeah, sure, I make mistakes, but I'm still worthwhile.
• 5:56
  I'm still capable and I am very loved.
• 6:00
  You can then show up in the space of loving your kids.
• 6:03
  Oh my friend.
• 6:04
  Wende's point is profound.
• 6:07
  Prayer can assist your spirit, but it's not meant to replace physical care.
• 6:13
  If you doubt whether God recognizes human physical limits, let's look at how the Savior himself responded to exhaustion in the scriptures.
• 6:23
  In Mark 6:31 disciples were returning from an intense season of ministry and people were crowding in from every direction.
• 6:33
  The text specifically notes that they had no leisure so much that they could eat.
• 6:39
  Notice what Jesus did.
• 6:41
  He didn't say, look at all these hurting people.
• 6:43
  Push through your fatigue, fast for another day and keep serving.
• 6:48
  Instead he commanded them, come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and rest a while.
• 6:57
  Jesus recognized that the demands of ministry had made basic physical care impossible.
• 7:04
  He commanded a retreat to protect their bodies so they could continue with their calling.
• 7:11
  Rest was not an interruption of their holy work, it was a prerequisite for it.
• 7:18
  Even more striking is the story in Mark 4:35 41 after an exhaustive day of teaching crowds and navigating heavy emotional demands, Jesus boarded a ship to cross the Sea of Galilee.
• 7:31
  A violent storm arose and waves beat over the ship and water began filling the boat.
• 7:38
  Where was Jesus?
• 7:40
  He was in the stern of the boat, fast asleep.
• 7:43
  His physical body was so completely drained from his work that a life threatening storm could not awaken him.
• 7:51
  Oh my friend, if the Savior of the world who had all power in heaven and earth, inhabited a physical body that experienced genuine physical depletion and required deep sleep in the middle of a storm, why do you expect
• 8:07
  yourself to be immune to human exhaustion?
• 8:11
  Needing rest in the middle of chaos is not ungodly.
• 8:17
  It simply confirms that you have a physical body that requires renewal and part of this is being human and learning to take care of ourselves so that we can better minister to others.
• 8:32
  I want to leave you with my testimony today that God did not create you to be a martyr in your own home.
• 8:40
  He knows you and the challenges of your physical body.
• 8:45
  The Savior who calmed the wind and the waves also cease the storm currently raging inside your nervous system.
• 8:53
  He does not look at your exhaustion with judgment or disappointment.
• 8:58
  He looks upon you with profound, tender compassion.
• 9:03
  So when you feel like you are failing because you can't do it all, remember that Christ never asked you to do it all.
• 9:12
  He asked you to yoke yourself with him and do it with him, because his yoke is easy and his burden is light.
• 9:21
  Lay that heavy burden of trying to be perfect and and an invulnerable mother at his feet.
• 9:27
  And let Jesus be your strength.
• 9:30
  Oh my friend, if your body is sending you warning signs of survival mode right now, stop ignoring the alarm.
• 9:38
  Go grab your free copy of the mom's burnout reset guide.
• 9:43
  Inside you will find our 2 minute 5 senses reset designed to pull your brain out of fight or flight the moment you feel sensory overload, panic, or that rage monster creeping in.
• 9:59
  The link is right below in the description of this video.
• 10:02
  Grab your copy and give your nervous system a break today.
• 10:07
  Oh my friend, now that we know that burnout is 100% biologically real, what does it actually feel like when you're trapped in it?
• 10:17
  And our next episode I'm sitting down with you for a candid heart to heart solo episode where we talk about what does Mom Burnout feel like?
• 10:26
  And I'll share what it was like Surviving Zombie Mom Mode with four young kids and two of which who had special needs.
• 10:35
  Subscribe now so you don't miss that personal story.
• 10:38
  Thanks for joining us today and until next time.
• 10:41
  Arise and shine mama warrior of faith.
• 10:44
  You are seen, you are loved, and you are never alone when you yoke yourself to God and do it with Him.
• 10:51
  God strong.
• 10:53
  If today's episode helped you feel a little closer to God, please like and subscribe.
• 10:59
  It helps us grow and ensures heaven's whispers stay at the top of your feed whenever you need them most.