Latest / No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women / The Power of Women: Witches, Mentors and Friends

Transcript

The Power of Women: Witches, Mentors and Friends · No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women

• 0:00
  Mary: Hi, and welcome to a mini episode of No Shrinking Violets.
• 0:04
  Mary: So I am currently on a little solo vacation.
• 0:10
  Mary: I always take a few days, a long weekend at the beach in spring and or fall.
• 0:17
  Mary: I've done this for probably 40 years.
• 0:20
  Mary: And I'm currently in Delaware in the United States.
• 0:23
  Mary: And we are in the middle of a nor'easter, a tropical storm that has been moving up the coast, and it has kind of stalled here for probably three, four days.
• 0:36
  Mary: So the weather's been pretty miserable.
• 0:39
  Mary: I'm recording this on a Sunday, so it feels like forever, but I think it really started to get bad yesterday morning.
• 0:46
  Mary: Although high waves and beach erosion, that started uh probably four days ago.
• 0:53
  Mary: Anyway, I have been more cooped up on this trip than I ever have been.
• 0:58
  Mary: It's the worst weather I've ever had.
• 1:00
  Mary: So I've had a lot of time for things to roll around in my mind.
• 1:04
  Mary: And so what I wanted to talk about today was women.
• 1:10
  Mary: I mean, we always talk about that, right?
• 1:13
  Mary: So I feel like I recently have had a lot of interactions with female friends of mine that I've just so much appreciated more than I probably already do.
• 1:25
  Mary: I think the older I get, the more that I intentionally think about those interactions because how amazing women's friendships are.
• 1:37
  Mary: I mean, I have friends that I've known for 50 years, 55 years actually, and at each job that I had, I feel like I've had one or two significant friendships.
• 1:51
  Mary: So I've been making friends my whole life, and there's a different flavor to each friendship and each person.
• 1:59
  Mary: And there's been, there's actually someone who, now that I've moved closer, back closer to her, um we've had the opportunity to get together recently.
• 2:11
  Mary: And I'm gonna give a little shout out to MJ.
• 2:14
  Mary: We just had lunch together, and I have to say that we just laugh so much when we're together.
• 2:21
  Mary: And I met her at one of the jobs, my first job that I had.
• 2:25
  Mary: And just what a beautiful person, a beautiful friendship, just a sincere person.
• 2:32
  Mary: And I've just had these interactions recently.
• 2:36
  Mary: And I've also had women tell me that they've struggled to trust women and have friendships.
• 2:45
  Mary: And that just makes me very sad because it's been one of the best beautiful golden threads that I think have been woven into my life.
• 2:53
  Mary: Like I said, some of them for most of my life.
• 2:56
  Mary: Um, but they just have given such a beauty to my life that I know would not be there if I did not have those friendships.
• 3:06
  Mary: So that's been on my mind.
• 3:09
  Mary: And one of the things that I amused myself with during all of this time in my hotel room when it's been pouring, I watched a talk by Diane.
• 3:22
  Mary: I think her name is Diane Perkiss.
• 3:23
  Mary: She is an Oxford professor and she has studied themes like witchcraft, witches, and folklore.
• 3:32
  Mary: And so I think this came up in my feed probably because of the time of year.
• 3:37
  Mary: But it was a presentation that she did on witches and the history of the persecution of women mostly.
• 3:47
  Mary: I mean, there were some men, but women accused of being witches.
• 3:51
  Mary: And there were a couple of interesting tidbits.
• 3:54
  Mary: You know, she was teasing apart the myth from the reality.
• 3:58
  Mary: And, you know, I think we tend to think women burning were burned at the stake.
• 4:03
  Mary: And she said that didn't really happen.
• 4:05
  Mary: That was not really a thing.
• 4:07
  Mary: Witches were typically hanged.
• 4:09
  Mary: But she was talking about why certain women were targets.
• 4:15
  Mary: And it was often older women, I would say probably the age range of many of the listeners of this podcast.
• 4:24
  Mary: And it sort of went to this idea of women no longer being useful in society.
• 4:31
  Mary: And one of the things that I really found interesting that she talked about was we, I think, tend to be told or assume that many of the accusers of witches centuries ago were men.
• 4:48
  Mary: But the interesting thing is they were often younger women.
• 4:50
  Mary: And so that also got me to thinking in all of these connections that we have with women, many ancient societies, women really were the support for each other.
• 5:01
  Mary: They raised their children as a village unit, as a community unit.
• 5:08
  Mary: They were the ones that, you know, grew the food for the community and made the food and fed the community and nurtured the children.
• 5:18
  Mary: And that's certainly not across all cultures.
• 5:21
  Mary: But my point being that we often were much more a supportive unit with each other.
• 5:28
  Mary: And as time has gone on, we've been set up to be much more competitive.
• 5:36
  Mary: And intergenerationally, I think there is, there can be a divide, you know, and I think social media tends to point out the differences in the generations.
• 5:48
  Mary: And for sure, my parents raised me as a Gen Xer in a much different way than parents often parent today.
• 5:58
  Mary: And it was much more hands-off, but now we have the tools, for better or worse, to have more monitoring.
• 6:05
  Mary: We have cameras, we have cell phones, we have location monitoring, we use social media.
• 6:13
  Mary: We are so much more known and present.
• 6:17
  Mary: I don't think that's a good thing.
• 6:19
  Mary: Um, I think it has its advantages, but I think what we have to remember is our young people don't know anything different.
• 6:26
  Mary: I am thankful a million times over that there was no social media when I was a young adult, or kid, especially in a young adult, there were no cell phones.
• 6:35
  Mary: I am so appreciative that I grew up without those things.
• 6:40
  Mary: But my point in all of this is that we as older women have so much wisdom and power.
• 6:51
  Mary: And we're just at a beautiful time of life that I think we can be mentors and we can bring our experience to the younger generation.
• 7:03
  Mary: We don't all judge, but I think we're set up to judge each other by appearance, by choices, whether it's a career or having children or how we're raising our children.
• 7:14
  Mary: And I think being able to step away from that and know that we all struggle with the same thing.
• 7:21
  Mary: And I know because of working at a college level, and my actually my niece is one of the most beautiful women that I know with a beautiful heart, and she's so present when we spend time together.
• 7:36
  Mary: There are amazing, amazing young people.
• 7:39
  Mary: Do they think the same about an education and a career than we did?
• 7:44
  Mary: 100% no.
• 7:45
  Mary: Do they think the same about finding a life partner?
• 7:50
  Mary: And I don't, again, I don't want to stereotype, but generally, there's been a much different outlook in this generation, in this youngest generation, about how to navigate the world as an adult.
• 8:04
  Mary: And I would say, let's be curious about that.
• 8:07
  Mary: Let's not cover come from a place of, you know, judging or, you know, focusing on the differences.
• 8:16
  Mary: Let's focus on how we can support each other and find ways to connect with that younger generation.
• 8:21
  Mary: But I think overall, I just think that as women, we need to just support each other.
• 8:30
  Mary: And when you find yourself doing the judgy thing, try to step back from that and know that whatever someone chooses, that's that's really their choice.
• 8:41
  Mary: And the consequence from that or the reward from that, that is their life, that is not your life.
• 8:48
  Mary: And so we waste uh so much time judging other people because it doesn't matter.
• 8:57
  Mary: And so I think let's look at how do we enrich the world, the world of female relationships and female knowledge.
• 9:07
  Mary: And, you know, when I think about the guests that I have, many of them are in that midlife range.
• 9:15
  Mary: And the things that we're accomplishing at this age are phenomenal.
• 9:20
  Mary: And I don't really think about this a lot.
• 9:22
  Mary: I mean, I published my first book at 59.
• 9:26
  Mary: I started this podcast at 58.
• 9:29
  Mary: I think there's so much that we bring to the world, and that narrative to circle back to the witches, that narrative of the wise woman that can heal, that is the mentor, that is that respected elder, that can be a source of, or it has in the past, been a source that felt threatening.
• 9:55
  Mary: But I think we do have so many gifts that we can share with the younger generation, the next generation.
• 10:02
  Mary: And so I think that can be such a strength that we bring to the table.
• 10:06
  Mary: And so that's what's been on my mind.
• 10:09
  Mary: I think generally the amazing women in my personal life, the amazing women that I've met through this show, and just knowing that to create a good future for us, because we've had some setbacks, especially in the United States, we've had a lot of setbacks recently for our personal rights.
• 10:27
  Mary: We need each other.
• 10:29
  Mary: And I think that is the path through, is to support each other.
• 10:32
  Mary: And when we don't understand, to be curious, ask questions, come from a place of care and wanting to understand because that's the best thing that we can bring into the world.
• 10:47
  Mary: So that's what's been on my mind.
• 10:49
  Mary: Just women's relationships.
• 10:51
  Mary: And like I said, I've had a lot of time for things to roll around in my brain for the last few days.
• 10:58
  Mary: So I'm about to head out and get in my sneakers that are already soaked because I was ill prepared and I have one pair of shoes and my raincoat and my umbrella and look for some dinner.
• 11:12
  Mary: So that's what was on my mind.
• 11:14
  Mary: And until next time, stop shrinking and start thriving.