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S1E2: Can I Speak.... About College? · Can I Speak?

• Chloe: Hey y'all, I'm Chloe. Dae: I'm Day. ElijahJay: Malade. Dae: Three friends. Chloe: Three perspectives. ElijahJay: One conversation. Chloe: Y'all welcome back to our second episode of Can I Speak. ElijahJay: Ooh, ooh, ooh. Chloe: Alright y'all, we all went to college. Shout out our almond water, the illustrious, as they say, Fisk University. ElijahJay: Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Chloe: So y'all, college got sold to us as the best. Everybody said this will be the best four years of your life. But then you get there, you don't got no money. You dealing with weird friends, maybe you're a crazy roommate. You're trying to figure yourself out. They want you to pick a major and do that career for the rest of your life. It's a whole lot happening. And then you graduate and you're like, everybody that I spent the last four years with are in different parts of the country. What am I supposed to do? So was college really like the best four years of my life? ElijahJay: Whoa. Hey, you just took us through a whole journey. Hold on. Before we get Dae: Mm. Chloe: Ha ha ha ElijahJay: there, we have to do a mic check. Come on. Like, how have y'all been? Chloe: Mike, my check. ElijahJay: Let's go. Dae: My check. How's everybody doing this week? Chloe: It's been a week. It's all it's always a week. ElijahJay: Yes, Dae: It has been a a trying week indeed. ElijahJay: True. I mean, I'll start it off, you know. My week actually I've had a good week. I've had a really good week. Chloe: Yeah, you've been bubbly. Dae: Right. ElijahJay: I have, yeah, the skin has been glowing. I've been Chloe: Bang yeah. Dae: Come on, scare. ElijahJay: I've been active in the chat, you know, no disappearing, no ghosting, you know. But I've Dae: Phe Chloe: Nice. ElijahJay: been kind of fostering my passions, finding hobbies, doing things that I like to Chloe: Mm. ElijahJay: do, not just going to work, coming home and repeating the cycle. Like actually putting in that extra time to do something that I like, something that I wanna do, something that I wanna invest in. So I can see the difference. It's been a good week. Dae: That's good. Chloe: Would you rate your week out of ten? ElijahJay: Hmm eight point six Chloe: that's high. Let me come touch the hem of your garment. ElijahJay: That is high. That is hard. Dae: That that's up there. Chloe: Jesus. I would say my week my week was okay. We got some rain in my city, so you know rain always brings your mood down. But I've also been I'm not say finding new hobbies but expanding on the hobbies that I do have really being intentional on making time for them which is always a plus and if I had to rate my week out of ten I put it at like a seven which I feel is good because last episode I think I said a six. So slow motion is better than no motion. Dae: That's good, sister. ElijahJay: Shouldn't Dae: for me I don't wanna write it off the back, we'll get there. But Chloe: Yeah. Dae: it's it was draining, if I can be Chloe: Yeah. Dae: totally honest. having to work night shift after not doing that in years was Chloe: Yeah. Dae: was trying. And then I wasn't sleeping much during the day. And you know, once you don't get sleep, everything else Chloe: You irritated. Just irritate. Dae: I'm eating lunch at twelve AM. It's Chloe: Yeah. Dae: just crazy. ElijahJay: Yeah. Dae: But I'm glad to be alive. I would give Chloe: Amen. Dae: my week four out of ten. Chloe: But the Lord is kind. Dae: But he is kind and he will ElijahJay: It's kind. Dae: fight for you. All Chloe: Please keep your peace. Dae: you gotta do is keep that peace. Chloe: Well that's good. That's good. So to let y'all know, Obviously. We're gonna talk about what we loved, what we didn't love so much, what humbled us, what we regret, what we miss, and who did we become because of 1000 17th Ave N, Nashville, TN 37208. Who are we because of that place? Dang yeah. Dae: You okay? You better give ElijahJay: Come on, address? What? Dae: them the pin. Chloe: Alright, y'all, so was college the best four years of your life, or are we just romanticizing it because it's over? Dae: For me, college was genuinely the best four years of my life. I had Chloe: Really? Dae: I had so much fun. I think each year for me was so different. My freshman year was like, how random can we be? I don't know, my my freshman year group of friends love them down. It was just we made campus what we wanted it to be. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: So if that was running around an oval at twelve A. because it was raining or moving furniture after the RA said no and then going to X or throwing Chloe: Right. Dae: parties in Juve, like it was generally the best time of my life. and then my junior year I met y'all. Chloe: Yes. Dae: And then COVID. Chloe: Don't get me started on that panorama. Dae: her. But yes, college was genuinely the best four years of my life. Chloe: I think I have similar sentiments. I don't know that I can confidently say it was the best four years of my life, but they were really good years. And I think like you said, every year looked different. Freshman year I was just this shy little girl. was six hundred twenty miles away from home. And as the years progressed, I started getting out of my shell. I feel like junior year was my best year, which is crazy because we're in the middle of a global pandemic. But junior year was so fun and I really I think started to find myself. And then senior year, I got them senior year stories, but Junior Year was a time. So for me, I don't think it was the absolute best, but it's up there. It's up there for sure. Dae: Yeah. That's good. ElijahJay: I truly think I'm in the middle of both of y'all. I would think that they were the best years, I feel like I was gonna say like those Chloe: We had some sucky moments. Awesome. Dae: for sure. ElijahJay: moments were very momenting. and I just feel like the best is yet to come, honestly. yeah, like you said, like we had some very high highs and when those lows they they were down there. Chloe: Mm, that's a good way to put it. The highs were high and the lows were low. ElijahJay: Yeah. So, I mean I'm I'm really happy to like unpack it 'cause I don't think I've actually just sat and just like thought about it, you know. They're Chloe: Charlie. Dae: for me the good definitely outweighed the bad when it came to college. And that's why I would Chloe: Mmm. Glowery. ElijahJay: Yeah. Dae: consider it to be the best for this is gonna sound so crazy. I know that when I was in college the bad was bad, but looking back and going through what I've been through, I'm like, it wasn't that deep. ElijahJay: Yeah. Chloe: It was never that deep. Dae: It felt that ElijahJay: But Dae: deep because you were away from home. you were in between a being an adult, being a teenager for real. So yeah, it felt bad. But like I can't remember there was times I cried in my dorm room. So it was probably so ridiculous. Chloe: Can't even tell you why. ElijahJay: But I was gonna say, like, you gotta give yourself that grace. Like in the moment, it was bad. For what it was, like Chloe: Yeah. Dae: it was bad. ElijahJay: for the season that you were in, it was bad. Yeah, you're looking at it now because you're an adult and like you have actual adult things going on. But in that moment, what we were going through, it was that was Dae: Yeah. For ElijahJay: that was our lights getting cut off. Like whatever you were crying about in the dorm, that was our light bill getting cut off. Dae: Hahaha Chloe: Can't Dae: I'm Harling. Chloe: put no gas in the car. Okay. So ElijahJay: Literally. How I'm supposed to get to the party? Chloe: let's take it back from the beginning. Freshman year for us. That was twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen. We were freshmen. Dae: He Chloe: So coming into college or just being there that first year, what was your biggest delusion? What was your freshman year delusion? Dae: that the friends I started with would probably be my friends until the end. Chloe: That's a big one. Dae: yeah, that was probably my biggest delusion. What about y'all? Chloe: think mine was I thought I was going to be living like a different world. I was gonna be Whitley and I was gonna find my Dwayne and we was at Hillman College. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: And needless to say, ElijahJay: my god. Chloe: I did not find my Dwayne in Nashville, Tennessee. So I really thought I was going to have my HBC love story. And shout out there are people from our school who are living that. So shout out them. Shout out them in their love story. Yeah. From yeah ElijahJay: Truly. Like I've seen so many marriages. I've liked so many posts. Y'all Dae: Shout out. ElijahJay: are doing y'all thing for real. I love that. I love Chloe: Y'all are doing it. Dae: The biggest of the things. ElijahJay: that. Chloe: But that's for me and my household, Dae: Yeah, I think Chloe: the Lord said, mm. So that was my biggest delusion. ElijahJay: Yeah. Dae: He said not at this address. And honestly, who's not to say they didn't go to school with us? You just probably ElijahJay: Now he's still on the way. It's just a delay. It's just a delay, that's all. Dae: You you probably just didn't meet him near. ElijahJay: Yeah, it's just a delay. he had a little bit more maturing to do, you know. Dae: You know. Chloe: Are y'all trying to say that he was there? Dae: Possibly. We don't know what the Lord has in store for you. Chloe: mm. Maybe he was down the street at the end. Dae: That's hilarious. ElijahJay: y'all are funny. Freshman year I was really delusional. Chloe: Not truly. ElijahJay: but my Dae: WHAT ElijahJay: Wait. Were you talking about yourself or me? Dae: Ha ha ha Chloe: I'm talking about you. Thank you. Whoa. Dae: Two things can be true. Clover was bad. We'll get into that later. ElijahJay: My freshman year, I went in not wanting to make friends. I stood tall on the fact that like Chloe: Excuse me? ElijahJay: I'm okay with the friends that I left with in high school, and that's all I wanted. Chloe: Mm. ElijahJay: I was okay, I wanted to come for my education. I wanted to come to get things done. But I end up going to fisk and just becoming like the most socialist socialite I could ever become. So, yeah, delusional. Chloe: Truly life of the party. The life of the every year ElijahJay: Every year. Dae: Yeah. ElijahJay: A blessing and a curse, but Okay. Dae: What's your biggest college regret? ElijahJay: Not paying for that single every year. Chloe: That's that's a big one. That's a good one. That's a good one. ElijahJay: Not paying for their single every year. I I did learn I'm not meant to have a it's not for everybody. Don't do it. that's something to invest in. If you could, if you can afford to not have a roommate, do not have a roommate. Chloe: If you if you can afford, yeah, get that single. ElijahJay: Because all that, Dae: huh. ElijahJay: you have to learn how to be with somebody. You gotta learn how to. Chloe: Live, live with somebody. ElijahJay: No, you do that in college regardless, because you're you're sharing spaces, you're sharing the calf, Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: you're sharing the library, you're sharing the classroom. You don't have to share a room. You don't. Dae: I disagree. I think Chloe: help. Enlighten ElijahJay: You must have Chloe: me. Well, well, ElijahJay: truly, truly. Chloe: let's preface by saying, Dae: Wait Chloe: let's preface by saying, allow me to say that Day only had a roommate her freshman year of college. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: And tell them why you didn't have a roommate all the other three Dae: I had a roommate, my freshman year, shout out D love Her Dale. Chloe: Rowdy. Dae: and then my sophomore and junior year, I was an RA, and then Chloe: what what would you Dae: my Chloe: say you yeah? What would you girl? What was you? Dae: Senior year I was your 85th Miss Fisk University. So So I I was I'm hollering. Chloe: The 85th Miss Fisk University thing, yeah. Truly. That's ro that's royalty over there. ElijahJay: Not I'm sitting with a celebrity. I'm sitting with a a celebrity. Dae: I am hollering. Yeah. So I got fired from being an RA because I was in this fist. We still gotta be. but my roommate, my freshman year, I think being having a roommate teaches you conflict resolution that you don't get from just sharing a bathroom with somebody. Chloe: Yeah, that's true. And it it teaches you how to be considerate. 'Cause Dae: Consideration and respect. Chloe: at our small HBCU we shared a room. I don't think when I tell people about fisk, you know, other colleges, y'all share the common space. No, we shared a tiny room, like bed to bed. Dae: Surely. Chloe: I wake up and I see you. Like you actually have to learn. Yeah, ElijahJay: The room was the size of this box. Chloe: literally. And you split it down the middle. That's way you see fit. And Dae: Yeah. Chloe: that's your space that you share with that person. So it teaches you how to be considerate or it should, because Dae: Everybody Chloe: Everybody doesn't learn. ElijahJay: And my experience was weird. I don't recommend this to anyone. I literally saw the dorm room for the first time on move-in day. Dae: But what were you expecting? ElijahJay: A room. Chloe: Maybe he thought he was moving into the White House. Dae: You have seen too much TV. ElijahJay: I I for sure, I for sure thought it was gonna be like something on TV, like, okay, I didn't think I was gonna be sharing a room when they said roommate, I'm thinking like, I'm over here, we Chloe: The common space. Yeah. ElijahJay: have a bathroom and you're over there. You know, we we we share the bathroom, it wasn't that. Chloe: know what's so crazy? The students who go to Fitz now are experiencing that. They only share like the sink or Dae: Yeah. The cow? Chloe: the toilet or whatever. They got their own room. I said, am I old? My biggest regret is I actually hate that it's so many, but I think my biggest regret is I don't feel like I maximized on every opportunity and that Dae: That's good. Chloe: I think it simply comes from really being like inside my shell. It took me two and a half years to really like peak and I feel like when I really felt it, like it was kinda too late, like you're finna leave. So I really hate that and I wish that I was, you know, a little bit more open, a little bit more willing to, you know, things. ElijahJay: So when you did hit that peak, what made you open up? Like what was the breaking point? It was like, let me step out my shell. Chloe: I think I think it was just like maturity, like just growing up. And I'm like, like Chloe, go do something. Like be a part of something, go do something. And I think that's what I'm not gonna say force me, but encouraged me to run for Miss Junior. I'm like, this is totally out of my league. This is something I would never do. I actually hate that people know me and I don't want nobody to ever see me. So to put myself on the forefront of something like that, I feel like that was the start of it for sure. Dae: That's good. I think my biggest regret is kinda the opposite. Chloe: Mm. Dae: I feel like I was a little too involved to Chloe: Yeah. Dae: where there was no separation between getting to know Dave, getting to know Data R A, getting to know Dame Miss Fisk and all the other things that I did on campus. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: so yeah. And then I feel like it also put more pressure on me 'cause w times when I was grieving or like really going through those low lows, I still had to Chloe: They want you to show up. Dae: I still had to show up, put a smile on my face, present myself as my best, and walk out of my room. And that's it it was tough. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: So that's probably my biggest regret from college. ElijahJay: I was gonna say that's good one, because if I could piggyback, that would probably be the same. Like, I feel like even with a title, without a title, once you've put yourself out there as a certain vibe I feel like the people who would meet me now would never think the things that I did at Fisk, I do. Like my social battery is depleted. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: I can no longer step into a room and just be. Chloe: Mm-hmm. Yeah. ElijahJay: On go, like and they they can tell you like I I could literally walk into a room and shoot off like I'm in everybody's face. Everybody's in my fa and I can just be on go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Wake up and do it again the next day. Matter of fact, could do it multiple times throughout the day. Now Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: I don't wanna see a person. Truly, Dae: B ElijahJay: I actually have to pray. I have to pray fast and everything else before I even go to an event. And and even thinking about event, I get anxiety now. Cause it's I don't know. It it's so weird, y'all. I don't know what it is. I don't know if I just overdid it and I just don't like it, I don't know, and that's truly who I was. And I feel like I truly am still that, but it's so different now. Maybe because I'm getting older. It's it's weird. And it makes me feel like, dang, what's wrong with you? I thrived off of it. Like, it truly brought me joy. entertainment is my thing. Like, I love being fun. I love being outgoing. And to not be able to do it, sometimes I just be like, why are you like you're being weird. Stop being weird. Chloe: Be kind to yourself, brother. Be kind. Give yourself some grace. Dae: I think you were saying though, when you present yourself as this bubbly person, if you go outside and decide to have a bad well, not even decide to have a bad day, but like you're just not feeling it that day, people start taking it personal. Like, are they mad at me? ElijahJay: Yeah. Dae: Is it something I did or like why she got a nasty attitude with me? It's like, Boo, this has nothing to do with you. ElijahJay: Truly, my my iron broke this morning and I don't know how to act. I don't know how to react. No. Dae: Truly. Should we talk about irons? Chloe: Yeah. Not yet, not yet. All right, so it feels Dae: Should we start? Chloe: like we have all obviously we had similar experiences because we were there together, but totally different experiences. so what is something about college that you feel like you miss? Like if I could Dae: Move off of the crack. Chloe: do that every single day all over again, I need that, I want that. Dae: wee. I think it's the proximity of like, I'm not okay. ElijahJay: Don't you start? Chloe: She started, he started, I start. Take your time, take your time. Dae: wait. I think it's the proximity of like all of us just being together and not even that. I was close to home. And my family that's not in Memphis were still in Nashville somewhere. Or Georgia, which was like what, two and a half, three hours away. So like I could get to my people pretty easily. Yeah. Proximity. Chloe: I think for me, I might start crying too. I don't know. The biggest thing that I Dae: wait this Chloe: miss is church community. I feel like Dae: Mm, that's good. Chloe: I got to college and shout out my Zion. Shout out my Zion. Dae: Shout out Bowser Shout out the college ministry. ElijahJay: Mal Zaya did its thing. Chloe: Yes. I got to college and they were like, you know, Mount Zion, that's where we're going. The bus came to pick us up and it was just all of these wonderful things. And I feel like at such a pivotal time in my life, like I needed that. I needed that relationship with God. I needed people who were, you know, seeking the same thing I was seeking. And because of that, I was able to meet, you know, all of these different people. And it's like, all right, I graduate and all that's in Nashville and I'm not in Nashville. So even now, like I still crave that. Like I want that Christian community. And I know I have it. Like I could pick up the phone, I could call them and we could talk, but it's different when it's there, in front of you. So miss that. I miss having church. Fire. We're on fire for God. Every every Wednesday. Dae: That's good. And I think e even that we were so even us as a group, we were so intentional about our time with God. Like every Wednesday we knew we were going to Bible State. Every Wednesday. Every Wednesday. ElijahJay: And I would say we all had our own upbringing. we were all brought up in the church. But like I feel I can personally say Mount Zion raised me. it made Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: me want to I had my own personal reason for going. I had my own personal reason to grow. And then our own meetups, our own Bible studies, our own conversations. I had to go more. So that I can learn more, so that I can come back and be like, Well, this, this, and this like our conversations, they were getting deeper. They were only growing more. it was just, hey, Malzang, you did your thing. You did your thing. Dae: Should I d should I was about to say, should I tell a quick story? Like, that's kinda how can I speak came about? Like we would go to Bible study and then come back and talk about how Chloe: And reflect. Dae: like and then we and we would just get so like passionate and it'd be like, Dang, can I speak? But but yeah. Chloe: Deep into it. Right. ElijahJay: Can I speak literally? I'm talking about up for hours. Up for hours. Did Chloe: Lit like ElijahJay: not care what day it was. Chloe: my job, we got class tomorrow. It's two o'clock in the morning. Yeah. Dae: Yeah. That's good. That's a good one, Claudie. ElijahJay: was really good. You you ate that up. You ate that up. But Dae: we I think I would say we should talk about Christian community on another episode. That's good. Chloe: That's that's ElijahJay: Yeah, that'd be good. Chloe: a big one. That's a big one. ElijahJay: Y'all really hit it on the head. It's honestly I miss my friends, truly. Chloe: Mm-hmm. Yeah. ElijahJay: I'm not discrediting anyone. Please, if you're watching this, do not take this in any way, Middle school, elementary, high school, I love y'all to death. But I feel like the friends that I made in college Chloe: Them the ones in the wedding. Them the godparents. ElijahJay: Y'all are different. Like, y'all are family y'all are family. Like, truly we I don't know if it's a trauma Dae: Let me give you a towel. ElijahJay: bond. I don't know what it is, but Dae: Hehehehe Chloe: Two things can be true. Two things can be true. ElijahJay: Y'all just I don't know like we just we developed in so many different ways. I saw y'all grow in so many different ways. meeting you in the moment that you were at and then seeing you just seeing where you are now, like is it's beautiful. I learned so much from each and one, like y'all are I'm not doing that. I'm not. Dae: Well ElijahJay: But yeah, I love y'all so much. like Chloe said, Malzang, you did your big one. who would have thought being a a college leader of a minute what? Chloe: With like and the people that we met because Dae: Crazy. Chloe: or through Mount Zion, like not just us, like it built and laid foundation for our personal friendship, group, individual, all those things, but the people that we were able to connect with because of Mount Zion. Like that that ElijahJay: Exactly. Dae: Yes. Chloe: that's a big win for me. Shout out OHB. 11 a.m. service. Getting in there. ElijahJay: I'm talking about would be on on two wheels trying to get to their service. I didn't care if I was on Dae: And we were ElijahJay: time or late. Was gonna be there. And we had seats. They were not sitting in our seats. They knew we were coming. They knew we were coming. Dae: We we were there regardless. Y'all y'all know that first round the Chloe: 'Cause y'all y'all know. Dae: balcony? In that middle. Yes and Chloe: I never play about my speed. ElijahJay: Ha I do wanna a disclaimer, do not sit at the bottom or on the side. They they do pan them cameras, do not do it. Chloe: There's a clip there's a clip of you. That that is No, there's footage Dae: I wanna insert it. Chloe: of him. my goodness. Dae: Talk about boo Chloe: You don't tell them cameraman to move he didn't mean it. He didn't mean ElijahJay: Because why would you come and record me and I'm in my worship? I'm trying to I'm Chloe: Ha ha ha. ElijahJay: trying to worship and why would you come up and record? Dae: my goodness, that Chloe: Yeah. Dae: Yeah, Mouseir and that and it was so special to me 'cause my church at home, shout out Mouse Piperton. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: and I was like, okay, Mount Zion Nashville. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: Totally different. I appreciated the college atmosphere, like Chloe: The college ministry was amazing. Dae: How welcoming it was. I got a little cousin. She goes to Ostep. I'm hey, sister, the bus run at this time. But they fed us. Chloe: Right, at this time. And they fed us. They after after every Sunday you're getting a meal. You're leaving there with something. Dae: And then like even like the opportunities for community, like volunteering in the kitchen it was just it was great. Chloe: Yes. It was great. ElijahJay: I was gonna say, I truly love that they showed you that there are so many avenues to ministry. Ministry is not just getting up on that stage and speaking, dancing, singing. Chloe: And that's a good point. Yeah. ElijahJay: Like you Dae: Nice. ElijahJay: were able to volunteer, you were able to do all these different avenues, and they they gave us that opportunity. People don't really know that. They think that you have to be out in the open to be a part of ministry, and that's not true. Dae: No. Real ministry Chloe: Yeah. Dae: is behind doors, let Chloe: Alright, so we built Christian community and we have all of these people who love the Lord the same way as we do. But let's dial it back to like our friendships and the friendships that we gained at college. do y'all feel like It taught you the difference, it as in college taught you the difference between proximity, like I live with you, or we're next door in actual friendship. And do y'all think some of those people were just your friends because you live next door? Or are they really your friends a hundred miles apart, hundreds of miles apart? Dae: Yeah. I think for me it started off ElijahJay: That's a good question. Dae: with we're just friends because we're in proximity. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: But then we kinda hit on this in the last episode. There were times where we were truly dependent on God and each other. Like Chloe: Yeah. Dae: it's four o'clock in the morning. I can call home, but I can call Chloe or Elijah instead. And I think I'm not gonna cry again. But I think that's kind of what grew the friendship. into these are my people for eve. Chloe: Think I agree. I definitely had some friendships where I won't even call them friends. Y'all know I'm very picky about that word. I Dae: Associates. Chloe: had some associates where you know we talked to each other because we were in proximity and we still keep up on like social media, but like the people that I call my friends, we're still friends. Like Dae: Yeah. Chloe: hundreds of miles apart like y'all are my people. Y'all shout out our big sister Australia. Shout out the eighty Dae: Hey, shout out Ozzy on a pot! Chloe: third Miss Fix University also. Dae: Love her dare. Chloe: Yes. so just like y'all ElijahJay: She's the best. Chloe: so the people that I really consider like a part of my village like we're still cool. Dae: Fresh air. Chloe: but the rest of them you know I'll see you at home coming hey girl but Dae: Mm. Mm mm. That's ElijahJay: Yeah, people are just friends because they were right next door to each other. They could walk over and you know, let's go to the calf. But people don't actually want to put in the work. And like I said before, I feel like a real friendship, you extend that grace. I don't want to talk to you right now. I don't have to talk to you right now because Chloe: Mm. Mm. ElijahJay: I don't I don't have the capacity to talk to you right now. And if that makes me a bad friend, then I'm not your friend. But When I am, I'm I show up. but in those moments, if I know you need me or if you're expressing that you need me, I I'm gonna, you know, the there may be a little bit of capacity where I can be like, hey, you don't feel good, show up for that friend, you know? It just but you have to be willing to see that through. And I feel like it it's definitely harder when that person's not right in front of you. Like you said, when people are hundreds and hundreds of miles away, it's different. You gotta put in that work, you gotta Chloe: You have to be intentional, for sure. ElijahJay: Surely. Dae: But I think the proximity built the foundation for where we are now Chloe: Yeah. Dae: in life. And distance for me doesn't change much. I mean I feel like we're still the same intentional that we have been in the past. it just looks ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Dae: different. Chloe: No, truly. ElijahJay: I also feel like it it depends on your upbringing as well. Yeah, we started off in close proximity, but I truly remember all of us having our moments where even when we were in close proximity, like, okay, go to your room, go to your dorm. Or or I'm not coming, I'm not doing that. Like, you Chloe: Mm-hmm. Where I'm not coming to the camp today. Yeah. ElijahJay: know, we were Dae: Mm-hmm. ElijahJay: okay and we were okay with that. It wasn't like, you don't wanna go to the calf with me, you're weird. We're beefing. Dae: Yeah. ElijahJay: It never gave Chloe: And if anything, it was Dae: Even Chloe: more so like I'm coming to check on you. Like, why didn't Dae: Hello. Chloe: you come to the calf today? Like, are you okay? ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Chloe: Yeah. Like, I see, Dae: Yeah, for sure. That's good. Chloe: Now the Lord has been kind in the year of our Lord 2026. Cause me and my sister have seen each other what four times this year? Three or four? Yeah. And y'all, that does not happen. We see each other once a year. Dae: Three or four. That's crazy. Once a year. Chloe: And I'm about to start crying. We see each other right Daniel. We see each other Dae: It's truly the year not over. Chloe: once a year. And I think that that's just God's grace and favor because he I believe Dae: Don't make me cry again. Chloe: that God and I know I don't even believe. I know for a fact that God Love's friendship. And we see that in the story of Jesus and Lazarus. Y'all know that's my favorite Bible story. So I think that when God Dae: Yeah. Chloe: s sees our intentionality and still being there for each other and still loving each other and still being kind to each other, that this year in the year of our Lord 2026, he was like, you know what? I know that they both need that. I know that they both want that, and I'm going to give that to them. And that just really does something to me because God sees, like, even when you don't think he sees and he hears and the Lord is so good. And I'm just so grateful. I've seen my sister three times this year alone and that does not happen. Dae: That's so crazy. Chloe: That has not happened since 2021. Dae: That's so crazy to me. Ooh we. Ooh Chloe: Yes. ElijahJay: Yeah. All right, y'all, they being a little too serious, so we're gonna take this train another way. So you guys, what do people who didn't attend your type of school misunderstand about the HBCU versus PWI experience? And would you choose the same type of school if you had to? Chloe: I'm HBCU down until the day I D I E when I have kids. Dae: to the ground. Chloe: Mama can only afford HBC. You can pick whatever one you want to go to, but only I can Dae: No. Chloe: afford an HBCU. And I think the biggest misunderstanding that I've heard is, if you go to PWI, when I graduate college, I'ma have the biggest job and I'ma do all the things. No T Nor Shay, but I have friends who went to the best PWIs and don't have no job. They're still searching or they're still finding or they have the same experience as HBCU students. And I think that when you truly go to HBCU, no matter which one it is, you have family, you have community. And just think about the joys of looking forward to going back to homecoming or going back to alumni weekend or whatever your school does, like that's a part of it, and they don't get that. And yeah, they they go to the schools and you could always tell people, you know, they went to a big school where you could just buy a school shirt off Amazon. So they could we you you gotta go to our Dae: We don't got them. Chloe: own personal bookstore to get a shirt for Fisk But they went to these big 10, 12 schools and your professor didn't know you. I can call my professor on the phone right now and I guarantee Dae: Right. Chloe: and I guarantee that she's going to answer. And I am four years graduated from Fist. So it's those Small things that you have while you're there and the things that you take with you and they don't have that. Dae: I think even to expand on what Chloe said, I think the community of an HBCU goes beyond the school that you attend. when I see people out and about and I'm I saw somebody here with an allcorn shirt on the other day and I'm like, I see you, you see me, just I was like, we take care of each other. We take care of each other for sure. Chloe: Right. Well we're HBCU family. Yeah. Yeah. ElijahJay: That's good. Dae: For sure. ElijahJay: It definitely goes beyond just the school. HBCU is a HBCU. You know, we do have our friendly banter. We have our friendly, you know, whatever. Dae: But among us, don't nobody else get in on the joke. 'Cause I get ElijahJay: Truly. Dae: real tender. okay. Chloe: Thank you. ElijahJay: Truly, but like to go y'all really said it all, but to echo Chloe, your professors they care. Like I remember vividly Dr. Freeman Chloe: Ha ha ElijahJay: coming to New Live Chloe: Shout out Dr. Freeman. ElijahJay: Knocking on that door, Dae: Shout out Dr. Brighton. ElijahJay: class class starts at eight. It's eight fifteen. What are you doing? Chloe: What you door? Dae: I an experience you only get at an HBC where the professor comes to your door or or somebody Chloe: Or calls you. Dae: or administration comes to your door. Yeah. Yeah. ElijahJay: Or just like the staff knowing, like, hey, it looks like you're having an off day. What's what's going on? So Chloe: Yeah. Dae: For sure. And Chloe: I remember funny story. I walked out of my dorm one time, looking how I was looking, not putting my best foot for it. And if it's somebody on the fisk had me an instruction, they literally called me by name and told me to go turn around. And that alone shows you the care that they have for you. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: You don't get that anywhere else. She said, go put some real clothes on. Do your hair. Brush brush your face. Right. Right. Literally escorting me to my dorm room. Dae: Literally. ElijahJay: You still have a little crest right there. Go wipe it. Dae: And matter of fact, let me come with you to watch I ElijahJay: No, but truly 'cause you are them, they are you. you're we're a representation. Yeah. Chloe: Yeah, you're a reflection. Yeah. Dae: And even now I was at homecoming and my little cousin goes to Fisk now. She transferred to Fisk. one of the admin was like, my gosh, I didn't know this was your cousin. She's I'm really watching her now. Like, this is my baby. And I think Chloe: Yeah. Yeah. Dae: it just one, it makes you feel safe as like a big well, I she's on Fisk Campus, she's safe, but like you know that it's helping her integrate. She's gonna be Chloe: She's gonna be all right. Yeah. Dae: all right and it's helping her integrate, especially as somebody that transferred in. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: y'all made some really good points. So was there a professor, a class, or even an experience that completely changed the way you saw yourself? Chloe: for sure. y'all know I had the same professor for four years. And that is truly. You're gonna have by the good Dae: Very common at this. Chloe: two, three. ElijahJay: It's very slim. Chloe: And that's Dr. Burnett. And Dr. Burnett, shout out Katie B. Dae: I love her down. Chloe: She truly changed my life, and I don't know that she knows that. So, Dr. Brennan, if you're watching this, you truly change my life. And I went into college knowing that I was a pretty solid writer. You know, I know I knew I liked books and I like to read, but for her every single semester, every single year for four years to really just push me beyond my limits. I used to be in Dr. Burnett's office, like, hey, this not making sense, and you want me to write about what and talk about what I can't do this. But for her to really just believe in me and believe in like my passion and what I like to do. that was B. She Dr. Brennan, if I ever get rich, you know that you got a chick in Dae: Yeah, she's Chloe: the meal. I love Dr. Brandon for sure. Dae: and just like for her influence, I only had her for two semesters, my freshman year. And she the way she can just like pull from your writing and like okay, you're I mean Chloe: And make it yeah. Dae: just like and she's sh I she's just amazing. Like she really Chloe: Yeah. Dae: sees so much potential in each one of her students. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: And she she's very vocal about it as well. Chloe: Yes. Dae: And she will mark your paper up in red, but Chloe: I mean Dae: Let me taste it. Chloe: lines all through it. Dae: But you will come out a better person, like Chloe: Yeah. Dae: yeah. ElijahJay: Y'all making me wish I took her. Dae: No, she was tens across the board. No notes. Chloe: Tents across the board. Dae: I think for me, the most influential would have to be the entire biochemistry department Shout out the biochem department and specifically Dr. ElijahJay: Totally. Dae: Damo and Dr. Ramanathan. They were just great. Dr. Damo giving me the opportunity to do research in the lab over the summer just like made me see I can really be a scientist. Or even integrating like how protein to protein interactions work. and it just made me think critically like, you have the potential to go so far in life with biochemistry beyond like, I like science, flowers and environmental things. Chloe: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dae: but being able to critically think about like cancer genes and all the things and just do not team. Loved it. Chloe: And I think also for me, even outside of like professors, Miss Grissom. Shout out Miss Grissom. and that experience also changed my life. And now that I'm sitting here reflecting on it, for y'all who don't know, Dae and I, were on royal court at the same time. So when she was Miss Disk, I was Miss Jr. And that was during COVID, in the midst of a global pandemic. And to really see Miss Grissom, she wears so many hats, events, ladies of rage, cheer, royal court, Dae: Ooh we Chloe: all these different things. But to see that she poured into each of Us not just on royal court, but all the cheerleaders, all the people on rage, planning events, all of those things, and to still day in and day out have that dedication and knowing that she cared about you. Like you call Miss Grissom, Dae: And Chloe: she is coming. Dae: and I think it's so crazy because that's just what she did at Fisk. When she went home, she had her own things going on. Chloe: Yes. right. ElijahJay: Truly Dae: And she just continued to show up and gave a hundred percent at everything she did. And it's like and Chloe: And did everything well. Dae: it was good because even when you were tired, ElijahJay: With a a spirit of excellence. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: even when you were tired, whether it was from cheer or life, whatever, royal court, Chloe: Yeah. Dae: you wanted to give her a hundred percent because you saw everything she was doing. Chloe: Yeah. 'Cause she gave you a hundred percent. That made you w yeah, for sure made me wanna lock in and be better. Dae: She gave you 100% every time. Also, shout out auntie Dr. Dane Gar. Love her Dan. So many great people at this. If Chloe: Shoutout Auntie Dr. Dean. Yes. Another staple in the fist community for sure. Dae: you are looking for a college home. ElijahJay: Fisk is a great place. Dae: Fisca's a great place. Fisca or any HBCU. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Chloe: Surely, but Fisk put Fisk on the list first. ElijahJay: Well, they s they stole my person. They stole my person. I was definitely gonna say shout out to all my professors. Y'all did y'all big one. But if I had to pick yeah, yeah, not all of but if I had to if I had to pick someone that Chloe: Well, not all of but Dae: How long brother? ElijahJay: like I would say shaped an experience for me, it would definitely have been Miss Grissom. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: She like truly she she needs to be up here. Dae: Let's get her on a pod Chloe: True. And y'all, Miss Grissom was also a part of our cob I mean our Christian community. Yeah. Yeah. Dae: College yeah. ElijahJay: She was a part of the Christian community as well. That's I was just about to speak on. I was literally just a goofy kid dancing my butt Dae: Mm-hmm. Chloe: Ha ha ha ha. ElijahJay: off on the yard, not trying to do anything. I was not trying to be Mr. Nothing. I was not trying to Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: I just was having the time of my life. you said you saw something, like, hey, you you you can bring something. Put this energy somewhere. You know, like you had you Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: have a lot going on. You have a lot of energy. Let's put this somewhere. You did that. And you and this is an honorable mention. Pastor Dae: No. ElijahJay: Christian, you y'all together, y'all like literally brought me in and was like, hey, let's put this somewhere. Like you, you truly, You're a ball of fun. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: a ball of energy and we have to utilize this in the right way. So Ms. Grissom, I was not officially in any of your organizations. Dae: Mm-hmm. ElijahJay: I was not officially anyone that you know, you had to like, you know, put your time and effort into, but you took the time to do it. You sat with me, you talked to me, you prayed with me, like you you definitely did your big one. You made an impact. Chloe: Hmm, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Dae: I'm about to cry. ElijahJay: I appreciate you. You did your big one. I hope you watch this and you see this. And we're all giving you your praises. Like we love you, girl. You did your big one. But like Chloe said, she also was in our Christian community, like Dae: Right, I'm gonna say this we're gonna send it to her. Chloe: yeah, we're gonna clip it and send it to Miss Grissom. We're gonna clip it. Yeah. She's yeah. We love you. Yeah. ElijahJay: heavily. You saw her at the church and was Dae: Yeah. ElijahJay: and even there, you were in different capacities. Like you Dae: That's ElijahJay: were not just in one pla one ministry, one place. I appreciate you. Dae: Yes. We're giving you your flowers. Chloe: Yes, we appreciate you. We appreciate all y'all. All of y'all, Dae: Because Lord knows. So now that we've talked about like professors and all the things, did you choose your college major because you genuinely knew you wanted to? Or because eighteen year old you felt like you were supposed to have your whole life figured out? ElijahJay: Mm. Chloe: I was definitely under the pressure that hey you pick this and you do this. And I knew that, and shout out all my doctor friends, all my nurse friends. I couldn't major in no bio, no biochem, no physics, none of that. I hate science. And on top of hating science, I hate math. So I knew that my my major would be more liberal, liberal arts. And I'm an English major. and it was, I think, for what I thought at the time, it was the most versatile. Like you don't have to stick with something specific. Dae: That's good. Chloe: And I knew that, I was good at it. I like to read, I like to write. So I tried to take it as a opportunity to expand what I already knew how to do and also thinking about my future, like, hey, I could I could be this or I could go work here, I could do this. so I think two things can be true. A little bit of both. Dae: That's good. And let me tell you, I utilized that English degree, to the fullest sister, did I spell that right? Chloe: And I need y'all to know I do utilize her by biochemistry and molecular biology. Cause am I dying? Am I sick? Do I need to go ElijahJay: Mm. Chloe: to the hospital yesterday, today, or tomorrow? Dae: Really. Now she does charge for the rest of y'all people. Chloe: Thank you. nothing is free, I do charge. Dae: Yes. ElijahJay: Y'all got Dae: Mm-hmm. ElijahJay: y'all got fair, we got claw. Dae: Thank you. ElijahJay: Mm. Dae: That's good. What about you, brother? ElijahJay: Definitely chose mine off of You have to live. Like I need you to get a you I need you to pick up a career. Like I don't think Chloe: Mm, that's a good one. ElijahJay: I did it out of like what would make me I wouldn't necessarily say happy because I feel like it's just weird. It's it's it's both. Like two things can be true at once. But I definitely chose what I felt like would get me a career after college. not what I would just be happy and passionate about. So it's like I definitely should have been at somebody's Fine arts, fine arts. Dae: okay. Chloe: Okay. So Juilliard. ElijahJay: No, I wouldn't say that. But Chloe: Yeah, he said too far. ElijahJay: Too far. No, but I should definitely Dae: Hello. ElijahJay: Yeah. So I should have definitely been in somebody's like fine arts program, like theater, get into acting, not even just acting, but like anything from like the entertainment realm, like journalism. my favorite things that I can remember, like things that I enjoyed, I looked past that to be like, what's gonna give me a substantial career? Like where am I gonna actually like be able to live? What is gonna be profitable? Because everything that I would have wanted to do, you have to It's a you know, a slim chance, slim pickings, you know. There's a big C out there, so newscasting, all of that. Mm mm. let me go get me a job in the hospital. That that's gonna pay the bills. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: Mm-hmm. Truly. And I think that even looking at other people, people were very strategic and very intentional about I'm going to college for this, and then I'm gonna go to grad school for this, and then I'm gonna have this career. However, me personally, I don't think that is the best thing that you can do because that's why we have doctors who are mean and we have all of these people, lawyers who are mean and teachers who are mean and you think that, hey, I'm going to college because this is what's gonna make me the most money, but go to college and do something that makes you happy. Cause the Lord does provide. And the love of money is truly the root of all evil. So I know so many people and no T No Shay, not even trying to tell his business, but I know somebody who is an engineer right now. And he hates it. But because that salary got three numbers before the comma, like you're still doing it, but how much of your life are you wasting away? Dae: Yeah. Chloe: Like do something that makes you happy. And that's this is Chloe talking to Chloe, because am I you know, but Dae: Yeah. Chloe: do something that makes you happy. So speaking of money, Dae: Mm. Chloe: y'all, we we just talked about we had all this community, all these people. Some of us had a lot of friends, all these things. But did y'all have a lot of money in college? How much did money shape your college experience? Like, did you not have things? Did you have to go without? Did you miss out? What about that dollar? Because that dollar always matters, no matter where you're at and what you're doing. You need that dollar. Dae: This is gonna sound crazy, but I had money because I had a grandma. And and she would just send it like, I want you to have the Chloe: Mmm. Amen. Drop some of your cash app one. Dae: I want you to have the best time in college. Like, Chloe: Yeah. Dae: which is honestly why I was able to be so involved. Then Chloe: Yeah. Dae: I there were times where I was just like, I just call Granny. I just Chloe: Yeah. Dae: call my mom and my daddy. I can't I don't feel like and in college, if you don't work, you're fully dependent on your parents. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: And I did not work through college. So I was just like, mm, this time we're gonna go without Chloe: Yeah. Dae: and we'll call next week because I know so and so. So and so is coming up next weekend or whatever, whatever have you. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: Yeah, that's true. I would say for me I didn't wanna solely depend on what someone sent me. and then it may just be like the oldest child syndrome. I thought about every time I ask my mom or my dad for something, I'm taken away from my siblings. So I just didn't so I was the one to get a job. I was the one to, you know, work through college. I I did make sure I was actually active though. Like I did what I needed to do. I had fun. So work didn't stop anything. But yeah, I just couldn't see myself just being like, Hey, throw me this, throw me that, throw me that. I had they Chloe: Hmm. ElijahJay: had to look out for other people, so Chloe: similar sentiments. ElijahJay: That Uber Uber did go platinum though, they didn't let me get my my car until sophomore year. So shout out to my parents. Dae: Mm. Chloe: Spent a lot of I definitely spent a lot of money on Ubers. I didn't have a car until my junior year, I think. My junior year of college. ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Chloe: rough times. The Lord has humbled and been kind. Two things can be true. I even to this day, I will chew glass before I let somebody know that I need money. So friend, family, cousin, Dae: Yes. Mm-hmm. Chloe: sister, husband, whoever. so that just really wasn't my thing and That's just not something I'm vocal about. Like you won't know if I have it or if I don't have it. I did go get a job. I did have a job in college and I think that was just my way of compensating for what I was not gonna ask you for ever ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Chloe: in life. Dae: Ever. Chloe: Ever. Ever. But we also I think ElijahJay: I says Chloe: a good testament to our friendship is that we leaned on each other. Like ElijahJay: Yeah. Chloe: Chick-fil-A Like you didn't even gotta say nothing. Like we going to the Dae: No. Chloe: doctor, don't even worry about it. Dae: And don't tell me you don't have it. I didn't ask you if you had it. I asked you did you wanna go? Chloe: Yeah. Yeah. And ooh, that's a big one. We used to do that a lot. I didn't ask you. I'm asking Dae: Didn't skew at all. Chloe: for your company in my car. Please come. Right. Yes. Or we used to y'all remember ElijahJay: Truly. I just want to have a good conversation, please. Dae: Yeah. Trillium. Chloe: when we cooked the meat in the mic in the microwave at the church. And we also used to cook. We used to cook. Yeah. We used to cook. Dae: After Bible study, boy. We used to cook. Don't ElijahJay: We'll be very sensible. Yes. Dae: ask how, but we were hungry often. You probably couldn't eat out, but we would go buy Chloe: Right, please. Please don't ask out. But we used to cook, you never went hungry. Ever. You you was Dae: a pack of meat from the grocery store. ElijahJay: Like you said. And it and when we did, it wasn't like we to we looked out for each other. It was like Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: I didn't ask you to Dae: Okay. ElijahJay: like come buy your own meal. I remember Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: there was times me and Dave would be going through cook out drive through and we would be fighting to give the cashier whose car. Like, no, you paid last time, move. Like Chloe: Surely. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: And and for me, like when I call Granny, I'm getting enough for all of us. What do y'all wanna do this weekend? Granny, go send a hundred. Okay. I'm gonna see you too so you don't ask me next week. Cause you know them Chloe: Yeah. Surely. We each need a little twenty five, right. Yeah. Right. One fifty if you're feeling good. Right. There was ElijahJay: Granny said, how how hungry are you? How hungry are you? Like how much do you need? Dae: grammas don't play about them stomachs being empty. Chloe: They will feed you until you're stuffed. ElijahJay: y'all ever feel pressured to party, go out or be everywhere because you thought that was a part of the real college experience? Chloe: Especially that first year. That first year homecoming, Dae: Mm. ElijahJay: Mm. Chloe: I had just when I went to college I was seventeen. I same, Dae: Same. Chloe: I had just turned 18 a month before homecoming. So Dae: Mm. ElijahJay: Uh-huh. Chloe: it's my first homecoming at a HBCU. I'm finna go insane nuts. That's what that's what I thought I was supposed to do. And that peach palm. Dae: Ha ha ha. Chloe: beat me up. I'm for sure that I probably had alcohol poisoning. I should have been across the street at Mahari because Dae: Yeah. Chloe: I almost didn't make it out. but Dae: Ha ha. Chloe: that was just me thinking like this what I'm supposed to do is homecoming. I'm supposed to have an exuberant amount of fun and I did. That was probably the best homecoming of my just young and dumb, not knowing. And that was my first time drinking. And I drank the entire bottle. Dae: Were you okay? ElijahJay: My son. Dae: Apollo? Chloe: Truly, and my thing was don't tell the RA. So Dae: Who was the RAM you asked? Chloe: she was the RA. Please don't tell her. Dae: And I would call her walking past the desk, Chloe, Chloe. She would just Chloe: And I Dae: run to her room, but like girl, you don't hear me calling you. Truthfully, I don't even want anything. That's why. That's Chloe: She really just trying to get to know me. Dae: why I said Chloe was bad. Chloe: yeah, y'all, she used to be calling my name and I just used to take off. Because what do what does she want? Right. Am I in trouble? Then she then she came to my room ElijahJay: You don't need to know nothing about me. Right. What do you need? Dae: Mm. No you ain't chosen in trouble. Chloe: and the rest has been history. Dae: I think for me, y'all know me, my my no is very firm. I don't Chloe: He truly. Dae: really have that much peer pressure. So Chloe: Mm-hmm. Dae: I I did I think in all of my college years, I probably went to four parties. I was with y'all the all the times. I went to one my freshman year Chloe: Three and a half. Okay, okay. Dae: at Vanderbilt. but other than that, I partied a lot in high school. Chloe: Mm. Dae: If you know about the dream balls in Memphis, y'all that know, y'all know. There was one every weekend and Deja was there. Okay. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: so I didn't really feel the need to when I went to college. And then I think in 2019 I started being a little more convicted about going. Chloe: Mm. Dae: The homecoming of 2019, we went to a party, but then had to be up for college Sunday the next year. Chloe: We're gonna insert a she's gonna insert a picture of us homecoming twenty nineteen. Dae: yes. Insights insights picture here. But Chloe: Yes. ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Dae: y'all and we matched on accident. ElijahJay: It was not playing. It was not playing. Chloe: Sure. It was not intentional. Dae: That's so crazy. ElijahJay: Twenty nineteen was a year. It was the year. Dae: Indeed it was. so nobody pr really like prepares you for life after college. What was the hardest part about losing your your identity, your college identity, your built in community, et cetera, et cetera? Chloe: I went through a major depressive episode from May 2022 until January 2023. I had no clue who I was. What was I gonna do? Because you know, people tell you go to college, get the degree, they never talk about what happens after. So to not have that, nobody was talking about it. This was a felt like a firsthand experience. It was terrible. It was terrible. I lost myself, found myself, lost myself, found myself. And I think that next year, twenty twenty three, I'm like, we're not doing this. Like you're going to get up. What Sarah Jacks Robert said, girl, get up, girl, get up. It's almost been a year. Dae: Okay, Chloe: You have no more tears to give. So things don't change until you get tired of yourself. So I was tired and we had to go make a different decision. But terrible. Dae: Most good. Chloe: Ten out of ten don't recommend. Actually stay in college forever. Dae: I think for me ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Truly. Dae: it was it was kinda hard because as a first generation college student I had just done this major thing. And Chloe: Yeah. Dae: instead of people like, we're so proud of you which there were, but it was always What's next? Chloe: What you gonna do next? Yeah. Didn't even know no couldn't even breathe. Dae: Next. Chloe: Couldn't even get my foot out of Nashville good. Dae: But it's so crazy because now I know I never asked high sch I'll ask high schoolers like, do you have any plans? But I never ask a college grad what's next. Cause if you don't have anything next, that's okay. I'd rather you take your time and do something you genuinely want to do than to rush into something because Chloe: Versus film with forest. Yeah. Dae: you feel like the weight of people, especially Chloe: Yeah. Dae: when you have s a a plan. What about the what God wants me to do next? Chloe: Mm, glory. Dae: But I'm like sitting here trying to, have something have a response to people. but after college for me, I went right into the next thing in my life. Chloe: Mm. Dae: And it was it was crazy because it was still COVID when I graduated. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: So it was just weird. Chloe: No for sure. A difficult transition, to say the least. Dae: Yes. And then I moved back home. So there there's that. Mm-hmm. Chloe: do what you will with that information. ElijahJay: like I said, just a very weird transition. for me, very conflicting. Thoughts, emotions, like just like mm, what did you do? Truly, like, Dae: Now what did you do? ElijahJay: did you make the right decisions? Like, you know, just different things like that. also as far as like identity, it goes back to like what I said at the beginning of the episode, coming into college, just having so much energy, being out there and just being like a people's person and leaving and just completely being the opposite. Like feeling like I just gave it all and don't have anything left. So it was like that that super high, just always being out there and then just going and having to maneuver and find your way into just this regular world. for me, it truly was like a totally separate world and then going into something different. and then just also like just being away from friends. the people that I was around, the people that I pretty much made my own family. a family away from like the family that I had, just not being around them, not being able to Reach out, touch, get what I normally would get from them. It was just all different. So Dae: That's good. If you could give one piece of advice to someone that just entered college or is in college, junior year, high school, senior year high school, what would you tell them? ElijahJay: Don't overthink it. Focus embrace the experience and don't compare your experience to anybody else's. Chloe: Mm. ElijahJay: People are gonna give you tons of college advice. People are gonna give you tons of, well, this is how my experience went. This is how I did it. This is what you should, shouldn't do. Don't mix light, dark, all these different things they're gonna tell you at your trunk party, your graduation party. Go in, experience it, experience it to the fullest, but stay focused. Keep God Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: first and you're gonna be good. It you're gonna be okay. Chloe: that's a that's a heavy question. I'm over here thinking about everything people told me and none of it mattered. but Dae: Surely. ElijahJay: That's what I said. Listen with listen to it with a grain of salt. Chloe: please take everything they've told you with a grain of salt. but I think the biggest thing is definitely keep God first. He is the only thing that will see you through to the finish line. And of course the Dae: that's good. Chloe: support that he has blessed you with. But keep God first truly at the forefront of your mind. and be brave enough to suck at something new. I think ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Dae: Mm. Chloe: that's a big one. Like try for the basketball team. If you don't make it, go back next year. Try to be on real court. If they don't pick you, vote for you. Go back next year. Like keep trying if that's something you really want to do. And I think another one is and I see a lot of like people at fist do this now, but start your own club. Like bring something new to your university or to your college that isn't already there because you are an asset. They need you. And always remember that every room that you're that you step in to just leave your light there. Like when whether you go to Fisk or any other HBCU, even if you don't go to HBCU, like have so much faith in yourself that when I leave here, there is a piece of me that is staying and the university will carry on forever. So I think those are my biggest three things and have fun. Please have fun. Dae: Happy. Chloe: Don't have too much fun. But have have fun. Have a healthy school life balance. Dae: That's good. ElijahJay: That's good. And like you said, starting something new, you never know what legacy you leave behind. Like you're making it easier for Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: the next. And I feel like that's what everything is about. Like it should not just I feel like the struggles that we have people that's coming behind us should not have those same struggles. Like you should, like you said, Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: want to leave something behind to where you can say, I did this for me and I also helped them. Like that's that's good. Chloe: 'Cause we protest Dae: Yeah. Chloe: about them dorms and what they get. They got them a new dorm. So leave something Dae: Okay. Chloe: behind. Dae: I think my piece of advice would be one keep God first. there's gonna be a lot of things that will especially if you come from a Christian background, they're gonna be a lot of things, people even, that test the theology that you know. Chloe: Yes. Dae: so I would say make sure you have a firm understanding of who God is, who Jesus is. And then second, talk to people that you normally wouldn't talk to. Chloe: Yes. Dae: I think that's one thing I can say I did well on the campus of Fisk University is that I talk to everybody. Like the people that would be considered nerds, I talk to them. Like the cool kids or like whatever have you, the athletes, I talk to them. The the physics kids, I talk to them, English majors, talk to them, talk to everybody. Because there's gonna be times when you not on their campus, you at Dollar General down the street. Chloe: Right. Dae: And that's the only person in there you got. Talk to everybody. Talk to everybody. Chloe: Alright, maybe that's a ten bits. ElijahJay: And it also paid off. She became Miss Fist. Everybody knew her. Chloe: thank you. Yes. Dae: That is true. That is true. Chloe: Don't be afraid to Dae: Yeah, keep going. Chloe: change your mind. Like I changed my major three or four times. Now I still graduated in four years. Amen. So God be the glory. Dae: Amen. Chloe: But if you put on your application, you wanna be a psychology major and you get to Fisk and you're like, actually I wanna study arts. Maybe go do that. Dae: Yeah, I changed my major as well. I Chloe: Yeah. Dae: came into Fisk first of all, I came in to waste time. Deja wanted to be a police officer and you had to be twenty one to be a police officer and they were starting to require And they were Chloe: I'ma just kill sometime. Dae: starting to require college degrees, at least an associates. And so I was Chloe: Yeah. Dae: like, I'm gonna go waste some time. I came in a biology major because I felt like growing up the answer was always there for science. It's in the book somewhere. It ain't nothing Chloe: Yeah. Right. ElijahJay: So Dae: you gotta think too hard about it. ElijahJay: eighty five percent of us came in biology major. Chloe: Truly. I had the same I had the same five classmates for four years. Dae: Yeah. And then I switched. And ElijahJay: This brings in the biology. Dae: then I switched to biochem and molecular biology. But please don't be afraid to change your mind. That's good clay. Do y'all think people should choose their roommates or be paired up with somebody? Chloe: I think it depends on where you are in your college journey. If you're a freshman, Dae: Let it be a random ElijahJay: Well no no actually I never Chloe: let them choose for you. Don't go if you're going to the same college as your homegirl from high school and middle school. Please don't run with her. That that's actually the worst decision you're probably gonna make. Go meet make a new friend. ElijahJay: I don't think that your friend should be your roommate. Your friend should not be your roommate. Chloe: Truly. My I Dae: Yeah. Chloe: had three roommates in four years. The one who wasn't my friend was my absolute best roommate. Shout out to my sophomore Dae: That's good. Chloe: year roommate. And I think we just worked well together because we had similar personalities. Don't gotta say too much. Don't gotta do too much. So we respected very Dae: Y'all are yeah. Very to yourselves. Chloe: to ourselves and we respected the quietness of our room. Like we don't we don't need all that hollering and all that on the phone. Like she put Dae: Yeah. Chloe: her headphones in. I put my headphones in and we were silent. But we Dae: Yeah. Chloe: weren't friends and we didn't know each other. Like we knew each other because we were in the same class, but I never hung out with her. I didn't kick it with her. I don't even know if I had her phone number. So Dae: Mm-hmm. Chloe: those things. She was my best roommate and I really enjoyed that experience with her. ElijahJay: I'll say I've only had one good roommate ri experience and it was my freshman year roommate. Shout out to Lodarius. You were a great roommate. Dae: that was my orientation, baby. ElijahJay: Freshman year. Chloe: Yeah, shout out I didn't say her name. Shout out someone. ElijahJay: we we first met it was fun. He was a good roommate. Chloe: So we all shouted out one of our roommates. But well not Dad because she knows she was already, she was Miss Fist. But I have a crazy roommate story. And I feel like I need to tell it. No tea, no shade. I'm not gonna say any names, but why would my roommate ever eat seafood in my room? Y'all, she had a seafood boil with eggs. Dae: Hehehehe Chloe: My job, we told y'all earlier. The room was the size of this Dae: Huh? Chloe: box. Split it down the middle. Dae: She bust up in a seafood bag. Chloe: Hey, my thing is you drive to the seafruit restaurant to go and get it and drove it back to Fisk to eat it in a room. If you don't park that car eat in that restaurant, she had eggs. ElijahJay: Surely. Chloe: I need to I need y'all nothing for the stand. Dae: No, the sifu by itself is enough, sister. That ElijahJay: A four boil. Chloe: cracking crabs and slurping up shrimp. I am irritating. On the bed. Didn't even eat at the Dae: I'm never I'll never Chloe: dish you ate on the bed. Dae: That's crazy. Chloe: Irritating. ElijahJay: Teach is funky. Dae: Mm-hmm. Chloe: Stan stanky. Dae: wait. Do you have a horror Chloe: Só me Dae: I was asking him did he have a like horror story about it for me? Chloe: Keep it cute. ElijahJay: That the they say you should speak from a healed place. Dae: so you're not ready here. Okay. Well, thank you for coming to Chloe: Surely, surely, surely, surely. ElijahJay: But you you know who you are and when I see Chloe: Truly. Surely they know. ElijahJay: you Dae: No. ElijahJay: when I see you. Dae: We're gonna pray for you when we see you. Chloe: Hehehehe Dae: That's all we're gonna do. Chloe: We're on a ElijahJay: Sure, Chloe: touch and agree. ElijahJay: If y'all wanna he if y'all wanna hit the story, if y'all Dae: Not to be get out of. ElijahJay: wanna hear the story, you gotta stay later to another podcast. Come to another episode. I got you. Chloe: Yeah. It'll drop on the Patreon one of these days. It'll Dae: Yes. Yes. Chloe: drop on the Patreon. ElijahJay: There you go. Dae: That's good. Chloe: So before we wrap up, I think we're gonna play again. Dae: Yes. This game is called Kick It or Keep It. Basically do you want Yes, Chloe: Kick it or keep it. Dae: do you wanna kick away something or keep it? From college, okay? Chloe: Coll college edition. Dae: 8 a.m. class. Chloe: Keep it. Dae: Keep it. ElijahJay: Keep it Dae: Okay, cool. I wasn't. Group projects. Kick it! ElijahJay: Totally kick it. Mm. Chloe: Keep it. Cause I care Dae: Ha ha Chloe: I care so much about my grade. I have no problem doing the work for everybody. Cause actually I need to be in control. So let me do it. I actually don't want your input. we didn't. They knew. We would have been put out. ElijahJay: Where were you when I needed you? Dae: And I'm the same Y'all we never had classes together, huh? That's college parties, kick it. ElijahJay: Keep it. Chloe: Keep it for the experience. Dae: Okay. wait, what what'd you say, Elijah? ElijahJay: Keep it. I said keep it. Dae: okay. Dining call food. Chloe: Kick it immediately. ElijahJay: Kick it. Chloe: Unless it's fried Dae: Keep it. Chloe: chicken Wednesday or Five Fresh Friday. ElijahJay: Truly. Now the the little pot the pasta Dae: I think it builds character. ElijahJay: section in the middle, they used to be good a little something sometimes. Chloe: What pasta? Dae: They used to have a pasta bar next to the salad bar. ElijahJay: Or no, you wasn't Chloe: Did we go? ElijahJay: you wasn't hungry for real and did not care until you took Chloe: Dems. ElijahJay: the the bread, the the turkey or ham, the cheese and took it to the waffle maker and made a panini. Dae: I was never hungry. I that has actually never Chloe: baby. I was actually always well fed. ElijahJay: Ya nie do. Dae: crossed my mind. No. ElijahJay: Ya didn't I live. Chloe: I feel like the real hunger was you they didn't have nothing you liked in the cab so you was just eating cereal for like three days in a row for dinner. ElijahJay: My d my my dorm room Dae: I I w I guess I was never hungry. ElijahJay: never had cereal. Dae: No. I would what Chloe: I used to bust them look ElijahJay: I would spend their last on Chick Chloe: I ElijahJay: fil A. I'm sorry. Chloe: was busting them lucky charms down. Dae: I would well you know I was cooking a feast in my dorm room. If Chloe: Mm-hmm. Dae: I wouldn't make caffeine, then I'm like, don't worry. Dinner Chloe: No, truly. Dae: Deja will have dinner plated and ready for you Chloe: Yeah. Dae: all. And I'm not talking like pasta, I'm talking salmon. Chloe: No, salmon. Literally salmon. ElijahJay: I'm gonna say they tell you you cannot you cannot have it, but you need to have you a air fire, a high plate, all of it hidden. Pull it out when you need it. Dae: The boy, you Chloe: Ha Dae: know. Chloe: ha. Dae: I was making salmon, garlic bread, mashed potatoes Chloe: Mm-hmm. Dae: loaded and a little broccoli on the side. ElijahJay: Truly, you go to her room, you go to her room Chloe: I was just saying, don't forget the record. ElijahJay: and ask for a Gatorade, you pull it out, and a salmon filet flies out. What what are you doing? Chloe: You have a protein carb green every night in her room. Dae: good times. Greek life. Chloe: Keep it. ElijahJay: Keep it. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: Kick it! No, I'm just kidding. ElijahJay: Yeah. Dae: We're gonna scratch that out. ElijahJay: Que dá! Dae: Keep it, keep it. Going Chloe: Keep it. Dae: home every weekend. Now I did this. Keep it. Chloe: kick it. You need to be able to ElijahJay: Keep it. Chloe: build some independence. Dae: if I found out this didn't have nothing popping for the weekend, I240, here I go. Chloe: Mm-hmm. ElijahJay: I was going home to get my hair cut. I didn't find a barber until my sophomore year. Chloe: We y'all had that luxury home was twelve hours away. I had to stay. So that's how I Dae: Yeah. ElijahJay: Yeah, yeah. Chloe: ended up in your city. Dae: Yeah, that's what I'm like I will always be like, you come home, I'm going home now, you can come. What time you say you get out of class? 'Cause we we hitting that highway, right there. Chloe: Get in the car, this one time I'm leaving. Dae: That's good. dating someone in your friend group. Chloe: That wouldn't have been no question. Dae: kicking ElijahJay: Kick it. Kick Chloe: Cake immediately. ElijahJay: it. Dae: taking a class just because your friends are taking it. ElijahJay: Thank you. Chloe: Cake it, I never did that, yeah. Dae: Kick it. Chloe: I had to stay up Dae: Pulling an all nighter. Chloe: Keep it Dae: Keep it. ElijahJay: Keep it. Chloe: Yeah. Dae: Keep it. Well, it I guess it depends. Are we studying during the all night or we just up? We was just Chloe: We just look. We Dae: up. Chloe: we would always set the intention to bring your laptop and your homework with maybe I ain't nothing get done. Right. Right, really. Dae: And you know that before you come. That thing pull just this for decor. ElijahJay: Sitting in Juve's lobby for your desk duty. Chloe: Yes, duty. ElijahJay: Great time. Truly the best the best Dae: Surely. Go into ElijahJay: visions and ideas came during that time. Dae: Going to college in your hometown. Do Chloe: Kick it. Dae: I think yeah, kick it. ElijahJay: Take it immediately. Chloe: Please actually don't go to college in your hometown. Y'all took it a step further. I didn't even apply the colleges in my state. I said Dae: really? I dun ElijahJay: Honestly, my mom didn't let me. Dae: I don't know if I knew that. Chloe: Yeah. ElijahJay: I actually had to do it behind her back just Dae: I applied to one. ElijahJay: so that I could say I got accepted into so many. Chloe: I didn't even gotta Dae: That's so good. Chloe: apply to college in my state. Please get away. Dae: Mm, that's good. I don't know if I knew that. I I'm saying it like I applied to a bunch. I literally only applied to one. Chloe: Really? Dae: well, one in my city, University of Memphis. But Chloe: Yeah. Dae: I was already taking college classes there, so I was like, Let me go here. Y'all gonna give me some money. But I knew ElijahJay: Mm-hmm. Dae: I wanted to go to a HBCU, Before we wrap up, if you could go back and tell your college self one thing, what would it be? Chloe: Yeah. Dae: D It won't always be like this. ElijahJay: That's good. Dae: The Lord will perfect that. That's what I would tell myself. Mm-hmm. Continually me. Sooner or later. Chloe: Do not become weary of your well doing. Cause at the proper time, Dae: Foreign. Chloe: you will reap a harvest if you faint not. Dae: give a subscription. Chloe: Right. We both w we both just went gospel on you. Mm that's a that's a great question. Mmm. Many are the afflictions of the righteous Dae: For our reckon that the suffering of this comes at ElijahJay: Truly that's that's the first thing that came to my mind. That's good. Dae: my Chloe: Mm, I I gotta I gotta trust Dae: He said, Amen. Chloe: in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Dae: But in all things. Chloe: Mm-hmm. ElijahJay: just have faith, dude. You got it. Dae: Yeah. Chloe: Say it through. Say it through. Dae: That's good. College taught us all a lot. Chloe: Too much sometimes. Dae: We lived, laughed, and cried. And we loved. Chloe: And love. We all saw love. ElijahJay: We truly we only hit the surface. There's so much. Dae: There's so much. Chloe: we could we can make each topic a topic. Dae: Right, if there's something else y'all want to hear us talk about, please put it in the comments below. Chloe: Start starting with that seafood boil. I actually have a lot to say. on the Patreon. On the Patreon, Dae: We're gonna talk about the seafood boy and his college roommate story on their Patreon. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode of Can I Speak? We hope you all learned. ElijahJay: When I catch you I'm sorry. Dae: Okay. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode of Can I Speak. We hope you all enjoyed the conversation, learned something, took something away. Be sure to like, comment, and subscribe wherever you Chloe: Yes, yes. Dae: watch our podcast. and be sure to follow us all on social media at Can I Speak Media everywhere in our individual pages. Chloe: We love y'all. ElijahJay: Do that, do that. See ya.