Latest / Pod Therapy / #409: Learning to Study, Teaching Common Sense, Ending Self Pity

Transcript

#409: Learning to Study, Teaching Common Sense, Ending Self Pity · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I have to do the machines though, because if I
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: use the little dabber thing, did I get so stressed?
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Like it is so hard to do? Yeah, I'm just
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: not gonna do that.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll pay the extra for the fucking machine, Like
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: that's it's way too much. Do you want to do
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the dobber kind of Yeah, I mean I would if
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: it's your first time.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if I gotta try it out first, Yeah.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You'll probably enjoy it, like it's just stress.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Whitney episode time.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right in stuff I should put on my listener.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, that spoiler. Sure. From Fabulous Las Vegas. That is
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: pod therapy and real people, real problems and real therapists.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: You can submit your questions and manly pod therapy dot
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: net or email us at pod therapy guys at gmail
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: dot com. I'm now broadcasting from the yet to be
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: named studio. That's Jim, that's Whitney on next time for
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: some pod therapy.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: We are recording this one as a double in the past,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: so we're recording this October twenty sixth, which means if
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you have named our studio after this date, we didn't
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: have you in the queue, so we didn't name it
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: and if you've joined our Patreon, you will not be
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: thinking today but probably in the following episode.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Be patient with us.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: We are trying our best because we had to record
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: in advance for Halloween, and as you're hearing this, we
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: are officially in November, and we are just weeks away
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: from Jim turning forty, and gentlemen, I'm going through a
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: full blown existential crisis right now.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Tell us more.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: This lends itself to my question for you, Joe.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Okay, because we didn't actually have to re retime this
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: podcast recording for Halloween, we had to redo this podcast
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: recording specifically because Jim has a family.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Picture that's right, your family photos.
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: And I'm very curious as to how long Jim is
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: planning on these photographs.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Taking Oh my god, I was wondering that she was, because.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Dude, when you have kids, it is the worst day,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: like family picture day. You have dread it all year long.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: And your kids are not they're.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Older, it's they're adult.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of, it's a lot easier when taking the
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: pictures rather.
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  Speaker 1: Photo it is still so much stress to make sure
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: everybody's got their stuff right. Everybody's got enough time to
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: get all the hair and things done and getting there
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: and just it's so much stress that like it's just
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: it's one of those days that like if I did
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: try to squeeze in recording a something would go wrong
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: and like there be a delay or something weird, or
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I would just be a neurotic mess when.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: I show up, more so as opposed to yeah, yea
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: his usual calm sound.
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, my usual non neurotica hill lock that ship
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: down job. Yeah, that's right, as they all up on
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: the street, missileman.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: I have a question for Nick and Jacob. Do you'all
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: do like family photos? Couple's family?
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  Speaker 2: No?
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  Speaker 4: But am right around December twentieth s j announces that
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: we should take pictures and send out Christmas cards.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like damn, I should do that first.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not doing that. Yeah, and we'll not do it.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: We will go on trips and I will forget to
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: take pictures of us, yes, okay, yeah yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I like here's something I have to say real quick
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  Speaker 3: that I saw another couple friend of ours do and
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I loved was they will schedule professional photographer. I almost
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: told you to do this in Paris. You book them
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: for like an hour or two and they'll take professional
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: photos and then you get beautiful photos that you can
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  Speaker 3: frame in your home with like the Eiffel Tower behind
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: you or whatever. Yeah, so we did that in Italy.
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  Speaker 3: It was awesome.
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  Speaker 2: So that's our last professional That is actually a really
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: really good idea.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: So that's my life hack for you couples out there.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: SCHU move ours become Christmas cards and so we try
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: to get them done in November or like late October.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: But it's it's crazy because you always have like all
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the same venues that you can take the photos apt
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: and we have now cycled through all of them. Like
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: it's Wetlands, it's Dry Lake Bed, it's Charleston, it's Red Rock.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Where you're going this year? God, we still don't even
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: know Crazy Horse.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah yea behind stage, I'm just saying, if you, your
• 4:15
  Speaker 6: wife and your two children, yeah, went and took pictures
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: in front of all of the strip clubs in town
• 4:21
  Speaker 6: or just a good handful of them, right, and sent.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: That out as your Christmas I would have this is real.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I would have so much more respect for you. I
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: believe that.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I believe because but I also think that's an interesting
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: way to phrase it because whenever you're already in the negatives,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh yeah, more is more tracked one more respect.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: That positive and look at it that way. Yeah.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: So it's a very very stressful day in my house.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: We're recording what Dick, we haven't picked it yet, and
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: so like that's yet another reason why this is gonna
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: be really really Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we've blocked up. But like, yeah, knowing what what
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: location we're going to be at is like another thing.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: We're going to meet you. Yeah, we have to figure
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: that out.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I'm justs of this note. You're absolutely right, you're on
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: the right side.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Of the the I have a feeling his son knows, okay, yeah.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I just checking with my son. She's got an agenda written. Yeah, yeah,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I'll tell me all right.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I map requested this for you in Prince he's
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: got he's got your your outfits all.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Pick he's got picked out. This is iron well. Yeah,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: we still have to go shopping and like, get off this, dude.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: It is going to be doing it is going.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: To take back my my comment, my judgment. We did
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: need to reschedule, Yes, be rescheduled so much it's going
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: to be just right.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Move day of it is going to be an absolute
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: tragedy about.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: We did this one year when we rented an apartment
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: at Panorama Towers for a year and a half. We
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: just loved that place. That was like an experience in itself.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: So we did photos like in the condo, like in
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  Speaker 3: your home, which was really cool to.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite pictures to this day, one of
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  Speaker 2: my favorite pictures of Laura and I is New Year's Eve.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I love that photo of at that apartment, that apartment.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: And yeah, so we're up on the balcony and like
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: the strips in the background, fireworks are going off and everything.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: That's a great view.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: We've done family photos in the house, but we did
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: it when the kids were babies, so it was like, yeah,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: then it was nice because it's like, oh, here's there
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: original crib and like, you know some photos like that.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: So but we do I mean, you know, I give credit,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: like we we do this every single year and so
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: like we've got tons and tons of photos, which I'm
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: grateful for. It's one of the things that I always like,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: am not looking forward to.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: It's so much stress. I've got the location, got it
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: go Neon Boneyard.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: That actually would be.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: Don't you have to like feal well, I mean you
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: can take photos, you can't take professional photos, like you
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: can't have a photography.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: There's the music is good?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Is the music?
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  Speaker 4: Is it true for the museum and the boneyard because
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: there's the museum where they've done like.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: They've referbed everything. But then there's just the boat yards.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: So there's no they've they've consolidated two different things anymore.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: No, it is. It's all like there's the reef. All
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: of the signs are together in one spot. They still
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: have like a warehouse where they've got some that aren't They.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: Used to have like just the straight up bone yard.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: It was like just an outdoor lot and like these
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: signs were just stacked up out there.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's I didn't.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Have working lights or anything like that section with all
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: the stuff working.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, yeah, that's how it is now. Yeah. Because
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Laura used to work there, Oh she did. She worked
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: in the office work she was a sign. Oh that
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: is the cool one of the coolest places in Vegas.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: I love going there. I stand by station. It's a
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: solid one going For those of you who ever visit Vegas,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: do it at night because you go here in the day.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: You gotta go at sunset because they turn the lights
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  Speaker 3: on but there's still a little light out.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But if you go during the day, it's just
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: a self guided tour. Yeah. If you go at night,
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: the only way you can go is a guided tour.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Oh that's new. We went, They just slet us walk
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: through it.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, do the guided tour because then they go
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: through and they tell you like, here's why this is significant,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: and this is why this is really cool, and it's
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: really really interesting.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like when we went, they had a Tim
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Burton exhibit.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the Nightmare before Christmas. That might still be there.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, it's they've had it for a while.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Solid suggestions everybody. Yeah, I need ideas because honestly I've
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: run out. So we will see. But thank you all
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: for conservatory. That's a that's a really.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Good one to one.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard because there's a lot of other people
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: there are.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: But I also feel like if you went in the
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: morning for you get the really nice light less people
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: are there, and I feel like if you're with a
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: professional photographer, people back.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Off, people get out of your way.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: They'll be like, oh, give me a minute.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, we we also really like candids, so
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: like we tend to go to places where we can
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: be walking and strolling around, talking, throwing leaves in the air,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: just goofing off as a family, and like.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Those are the best little Darling's parking lot. Ye you both.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Here's Daddy going upside down on the pole.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Look at him. Go it's in the parking lot. Now
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: you're being silky reductionist, Jimothy. You're right.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: We've got some great questions for today's show, and we're
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: leading off the order with learning to study. Hello to
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: the therapists and life coach of the show, and a
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: big hello to Whitney giving some more laughs and advice
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: ya laughs.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Very celebrated for her time, So I am laugh haha.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: So I am studying for my law and ethics exam
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: in California, and I don't know how to study. I've
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: never been able to study and managed to wing it
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: my whole life. My friend is studying to be an
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: RN and is able to study with flashcards and notes,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: but it feels weird encumbersome to me. I have the
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Jerry Grossman set up on my tablet. I'm reading the
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: ethics book. I'm doing the practice tests, but what else
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: can I do? How do y'all learn to study? Also, Jim,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I am almost a decade older than you, and I love.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Your forty before forty interesting.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I'm also a bit of a nerd who works Renaissance
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: fairs as a volunteer in California. The original Renaissance Fair
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: in your Irwindale is my home fair, but I also
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: go to the Northern California ren Fair on occasion signed anonymous?
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Was ren Fair on my list?
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say, we talked about Renfair almost tested
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: you on Sunday?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Was that already happens? So I don't think I can
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: go to that anymore? So there's that.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I still want to try LARPing. I signed up for
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: a thing that's I don't know if it'll be done
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: by December.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: But you could know if you actually signed up.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I signed up. I sign up for the newsletter. I mean,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: there we go. You gotta start somewhere, guys, you got
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: to get some invasion.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: I want.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you guys learn to study?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like that is a whole experience. I
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: don't think I was ever good at this, and I
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: didn't realize I know how to study until I went
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: to college because the very yeah, my first uh, first
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: semester in college, guess what my gp A was negative?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I wish it was two points.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, Nicholas, I had like a one.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: I love this going on.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: It was so low. Oh that's comedy Whitney enjoy them.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah I did not.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I did not see that coming.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Okay. No, So because it was so low that I
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: didn't even realize like what a normal GPA was. Because
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: when I was in high school, I never studied, Okay,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: like I just got a's and b's and stuff, and
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: it was no big deals because the grades that you.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Were getting back on your papers and tests, weren't you.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I was looking at the letter grade. I was not
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: looking at a grade point average.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Letter grade is low if you're getting a one point.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: No, okay, So in high school I was getting good grades.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I was getting a's and he was coasting in high school,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: and I way attention to the ground. I was not
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: looking at the g p A. I was just looking
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: at my at the actual grades, right, So I didn't know,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: like one point eighty four was really low.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Oh so you never got okay, I get it. You
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: You would just look at the report card and you
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: would say he and you go great, cool, he said C.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: You were like great.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: But if I said, hey, what g P A number
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: goes with a C, you'd be like, oh, what does
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: that mean?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I can't even fathom how stupid I am.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: No, just not can Okay, anxiety doesn't exist in your world.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Go on, that's what I'm hearing.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: So I got a NICK eight four whatever it was,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: and I was like, that seems low.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, so fucking funny. Oh my god.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: One doesn't feel high. It doesn't.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: It's out of I've never heard.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Anybody bray about the number one is.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: So you didn't realize that was like a bad GPS.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I mean I felt like, okay, it's bad, but I
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: didn't have a reference point.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Of like this means I won't like pass my class.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: And like we should tell people to so in the US,
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: in this grading scale, an A is worth four points,
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: a B is worth three points, a C is worth
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: two points, a D is worth one point in F
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: is not worth anything. So one point five GPA is
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: roughly a CD average.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Which that means like one hundred is an A and
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: you know ninety one hundreds and a eighty to ninety
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: is a B right.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So you realized in college that you're an idiot
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: and the eel how to teach yourself.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: So then I had to I had to learn how
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to study, and for.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Me, you had to learn what a GPA was.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: First, I had to learn what a GPS.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Then I had to learn where my classes were being helped? Oh,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I never figured. Then I had to buy the books.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: The next was where is the clitters.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: In college that I dropped having never gone to the classroom?
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: One of them I specifically remember. I couldn't find it
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: the first week or so. It was in a building
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: I wasn't familiar with. I was like, I'm just not
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: gonna go expected to overcome this obstacle. Y.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, you weren't like going early to find
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: the class.
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, aarking spot in the lot that I
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: was dropping out of.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: That was a reason to not go to class. So
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: here's what I did in my undergrad What helps me
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: is first I would start with as much as I could,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: try to read a chapter ahead, okay, so that when
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I went to the lecture, it was a lecture on
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: stuff I had already read. Essially, Okay, I didn't do
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: very well with that, but that was my intent. So
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: then I remember a history course that I took as
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: US History pre eighteen fifty, I think is what it was.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And so what I would do is I would go
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: to class and I would take notes during the class,
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: and then after I had like an hour and a
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: half or two hours before my next class, so I'd
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: head over to the union and I would sit in
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: there and I would rewrite my notes. And I've heard
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: of people, yes, and rewriting of the notes is a
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: big deal, and I would color code them, so like
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: you have to do it when it's fresh, yes, yeah,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: so you got to do it right after, so I would.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: I would because my notes, I'm just trying to get
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: down as much information as i can. And then rewriting
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: was to clean it out and color code. And then
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: from there that class became super easy to do. Now
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: that that worked for undergrad When I was a graduate student,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: what I realized is to be able to do a
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: study group and to teach other people in the group
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: what you read, because you have to. If you're going
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: to teach something, you kind of force yourself to have
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: to understand it. So that that's what helped for me
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: quite a bit.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: I had. I remember my very first college undergrad class
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: was psychology, like gen Psych. It was eight am on Monday,
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: like just day one.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: As a freshman class.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Fun fact, Peter was in that class with me. I
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: did not notice some day one, but he was back
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: there something you his friend noticed me. Peter just happened
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: to be with him. So anyway, that Gen Psych class,
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: our professor was amazing. He was a neuroscientist, but he
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: and he was the dean of the department. But doctor
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: White shout out. He yeah. He would tell us from
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: day one He's like, here's how you're going to study
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: for being like psychology. He's like, you need to read
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: the chapter three times. Wow, every chapter you need to
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: read it three times. So like for doing chapters one, two,
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: and three or whatever, you need to read all those
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: three times. And that really stuck with me because I
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: agree with the color coding all that other stuff you said.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I think you're spot on, especially for me. I'm visual
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: colors help so much. Making like acronyms or whatever they're
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: called of things helped me so much. Monic devices, Yeah,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: those sure mnemonic devices are like I mean, like where
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: you make letters out of stuff like please excuse my
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: dear aunt Sally. Oh okay, yeah that thing. So like
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: all those, I explain it more like what about my
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: very energetic that's smart mars. Okay, so those will help
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: me my very energy, very energetic, that's why I need
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: the device, good example. So yeah, those all help me.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Color coding help me, but really just repetition, like reading
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: something twice. At least that just helped me. I don't know.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: What I was never good at in studying was the
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: pairing down of it, Okay.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Like what's important?
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: That's it? Like figuring out what to put pages highlighted?
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: Right, So like my and the reason I say I
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: was never a good studier is my method was always
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: learn all of it. If I couldn't if I couldn't
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: get the whole picture. Though, I was really bad at
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: figuring out what parts of the picture I needed to
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: focus on, right, So like if I didn't have time
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: or or whatever, if I just didn't do it for
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: whatever reason, if I didn't have time to learn, like
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: here's it's like history, for example, one of my degrees
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: was history, and.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: You have to know everything for that, but like it would.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Get to.
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: What happened in this battle, right, And I couldn't tell
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: you what happened to that battle if I hadn't gotten
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: all of the lead up to.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: You need to understand it in context. That's it.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: I have to have the I have to have the
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: whole picture or I'm really bad at figuring out.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: That makes sense? Yeah for me.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting because like in the age of AI,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, this has really changed. I was talking to
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: my high school child the other day and asking like, hey,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you know, to what extent are you using this?
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Like what you know? How does this go?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: And it was very interesting because he was like, so listen, dad, Like,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I'll basic use the AI to summarize the chapter, right,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: and so like I'll get the information, I'll have it
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: synthesize it, I'll have it tell me all the high points.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Then I'll make sure I understand it, and I'll ask
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: questions of it about things I don't understand. So I'll say, hey,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: this thing is a little bit confusing. Can I unpact
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: this a little bit further? Give me some examples. And
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: so instead of reading the textbook and just going with
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: whatever the textbook's got The AI is basically creating a
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: living textbook that can discuss all the points, and then
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: afterward he'll ask it to create study questions for him
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: or like quiz questions to see if he's got it,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: and then he'll answer those questions to the AI and
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: then ask it if I got it wrong, explain where
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: my thinking was incorrect, and come back and teach business.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Jesus, kid, like this is insane, Like we
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: didn't have that shit. We were using colored markers and
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: dumb ass does no.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: I just as my name, but I wouldn't have given
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: for colored markers. I didn't even make it.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: When I was I was just talking to one of
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: my neighbor's fifteen year old kids and he was like, oh, yeah,
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: class is easy because he goes like one of those
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: special schools in Vegas that are smart people stuff. And
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, he's like yeah, I just cheat,
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, like.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I mean asking him to do like seas and stuff
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: for the writer, you know, whenever I had to take
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: national exams. I think for me, my studying method is
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: outlining a chapter, so like I don't like to just
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: read the chapter because my reading comprehension is really bad.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Like I'll finish a page and forget what I just read.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: So as I go I have to be outlining it
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and covering all the key points, and like, do you know.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: What's the key point to Jacob's point earlier?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Well, luckily I lived in an era where like we're
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: the book tells them what the key point book?
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And so like I would just always try to
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: create an outline of the chapter because it usually would
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: break down cleanly into an outline format. This is the
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: big picture. This is the three big subheadings. Inside of here,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Here are the breakdown inside of each of those. Here
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: the vocabulary words, key concepts. So like, if I can
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: do that on a computer, I do a lot better
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: whenever I handwrite it out what is this thing saying?
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: And then for me for national examinations, outlining information and
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: flashcarding actually didn't help because the first time I took
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: a national exam, I didn't pass, and I had relied
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: on the method of like reading study prep books and
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: flash cards. But the way that the test was asking
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: And this might be true for you too, writer, since
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you're kind of going into law like scenarios, they were
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: scenarios yeah, and so they were that. It had a
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: lot to do with you needed to think the way
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: the person who wrote this test was thinkage, but also
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: having a theory of the other mind was actually really
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: important because a lot of the answers were not objectively
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: yes or no, and if you sat down with ten people,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: they could justify their answer in every direction. You needed
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: to know how this test writer or committee of test
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: writers was thinking. Yeah, and so for me the National
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Exam that I took, there was a company that published
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: simulated tests where you could basically just go through, but
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: they were always updated based on who wrote the last
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: version of the exam, and they had paid those same
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: writers to write like emulations. That way, you could think
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: the way this current group of writers is thinking. And
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: once I did that, and I paid a big money
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: to take.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: That, I paid money for practice.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: It was worth every fucking penny because there was no
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: amount of books I could have read or flashcards I
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: could have drilled on that would have answered those questions correctly.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I needed to know what they were wanting me to.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Say, I agree, I agree, practice tests or where it sacks,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: then you can see, like why did I get that wrong?
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Like this is why, and then you're like, oh, that's
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: shifting my brain and how I'm gonna look at And.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I drilled on the sims like I took a one
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: practice one like a month or two before my actual
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: scheduled retake of the test. But then I thought, you
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: know what, I really want to be in that mindset
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: right when I sit down. So I think I had
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: like three or four more simulations in the docket, and
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I took all of them like every day leading up
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: to the final like the real test. That way, it
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: was like every day I was just getting this thinking
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: process more in my head, and then passing the sims
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: as I was getting close to taking the real one,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and then walking in and being like, okay, I know
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: this person thinking right now.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: So that helped a lot.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like your son gave the best advice.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Honestly. Yeah.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: In the age of AI, I don't even know how
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: to use AI.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I know to ask this question, is.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: I'm using AI more and more now for kind of
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: the stuff that he's talking about.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, teach me something, not even teach.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: Me something, but like summarize, aggregate all this all of
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: the data that I'm giving you yeah, give me. You know,
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: here is all the data. Organize this in a way
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: that I can.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: Look at it. Okay, Okay, I have that type of thing.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: I had one of my clients this last week who
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: was talking about AI and they're in the computer science field,
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: and they were like, it's great. When I'm trying to
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: do stuff around my house, Like I have all these
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: things to do, can you make a to do list
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: for me? Like based on what needs to be done
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: or like time I was and she goes, and then
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: when I'm off of it, I'll just re enter it,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: like all right, this is now what I have left?
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: How can I get it done? I was like okay,
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: I was like I could use that.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: I used that for the whiskey barbecue prep this year.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I use a lot of AI for the
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: whiskey barbecue prep. That's awesome just figuring out like that's
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: is like how much food generating, shopping lists generating, like
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: my to do this starting a couple of days prior.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Like the prep.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: When do I need to do these things?
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: That's that, Like when do I need to make sure
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: these like I've got these shaved down, I'm going to
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: put these on the smoker at this time, I'm like
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: all of those movie pieces. I definitely organized all that
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: with a with AI this year.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: So my my uh fitness business, fitness business in my
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: software that I've got for my app actually has AI.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: And so like when I put in a workout, if
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I'm building a workout for somebody, I can put in
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: parameters like here are the things that we want to
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: work on, here's the equipment that we have available, here's
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: the split that we want to have, here's their weaknesses,
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: and it'll yeah, and it'll put together an entire workout.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I will then go through and change some stuff because
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of stuff in there that they haven't
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: figured out. But yeah, it's incredible.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: And that's the thing is like, I don't even I'm
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: really kind of getting to a point now, and I
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: know we're straying off of the initial topic a little
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: bit here, but I don't even mind now, you know
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Whitney saying like, oh, well, like I cheat at the
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: you know, I mean the school, and I'm using the
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: AI to cheat.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I'm kind of.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Not even seeing that totally is cheating anymore. It's the
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: same thing that happened when when I was a kid,
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: it was you have to learn how to do this
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: math equation because you're not always going to have a
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: calculator in your pocket. Right, That's the thing that my
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: teachers would say to me all the time, verbatim. You
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: won't always have a calculator in your pocket. Guess what
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: I always have in my pocket now, Like it's just done,
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: and so like part of learning is learning to use
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: the new technology part of it, Like you want to
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: get all that knowledge and everything as well, but you
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: do have to find that balance. And I don't think
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: that the older generation us now is I don't think
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: we are always good at figuring out where that balance
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: is going to be in the future. And I'm and
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: when I say that we're not always good at it,
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: I mean we're never good at it.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: We have never been to that.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: No older generation has ever been good as technology and
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: the next generation is going to be.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: That has been a point of irritation with me too,
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: is hearing older generations be like, oh, the kids, they
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: don't know how to write a letter and they can't
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: write in cursive. Yeah, and you don't know how to
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: drive a stage coach. How's your Stonemason?
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: By the way, you still don't know how to program
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: a VCR and you did own.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: A vc shah, yeah, No, I mean teaching in college.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: This has been a really interesting, you know, change that
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: we've all been, you know, kind of messing with. And
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I'm on the side there's like, definitely technology.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Does anybody else forget that? Jim has students I know, right, No,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: they've met them.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't forget.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But like a lot of technology now paper and figure
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: out like, oh, was the same agenated, which I don't like.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's too too dangerous if we get
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: that wrong. I don't want to destroy this person's entire
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: academic career. But I know, for me, I'm getting away
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: from papers, and like, don't I don't want my students
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: to write papers. I make them give presentations. And I
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: do not mind if you used AI to aggregate that,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: to teach yourself that, to design the slides, to get
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: it all up there. If you show up and you
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: read off the slide, that's your ass because like you
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: clearly have no masters, right, you're not.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Doing the job exactly.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: You need to be able to jump off script and
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: you can use this to guide you, but you need
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: to be able talk about it in a competent way,
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to sit there and ask you to
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: my presentation. You're you're kind of teaching that. I love
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: that so like, but I've seen people adapt to it
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: in that way. And but yeah, like the way my
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: son's using it, Like I completely agreed, he's like, no,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I definitely use this to skip having to read anything,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: but like I'm getting it efficiently, and then I quiz
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: myself on it and I conversate with it to make
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: sure I get it so that when I take a test,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I can do that.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: For that, I don't really have a problem with that.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: I don't have a problem with your son saying and
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: your son is is what like twenty eight twenty nine
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: something like that. Yeah, yeah, So I don't have any
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: problem with him saying like this is how I get
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: this information and I avoid the side of it. All
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: I want on top of that is to say, like,
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: that's cool. Just know that you are cutting off a
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: part of what you could be learning here right like
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: you are by not taking it in, by not taking
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: this information in in the way that the initial author
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: or the person who wrote the information.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Down for whatever reason, their voice is kind of getting
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: lost on them.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: By taking that voice out, you are losing something.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: I think if you read a summary of Moby Dick,
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: it's not the same as reading Moby Dick well.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And also though so many of us have had bad
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: experiences with professors, we're shitty, they weren't good at teaching
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: it and like you were really struggling with the content.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: And I feel like AI has really bridged that gap
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: for a lot of learning where they can redesign that
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: they can do self learning right. They can have this
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: master educator teach them everything, no matter how bad they're
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: for people.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: What we would have called when we were kids, people
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: who have learning disabilities. For that, this must be a
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: game changer. And I bet it's remarkable. And there are
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: all these pieces of technology. Actually it's scop Fest. There
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: was a blind scoop at scoop Fest.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: He had a pair of the AI glasses on the
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: metaed glasses with the cameras on the front, and he
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: was just having them explain to him what was in
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: front of him, front of me, and his glasses speakers
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: and everything on him. His glasses would just like explain
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: to him what he was looking at. Wow, Like, oh
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: there are three people staying in front of you. They
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: appear to be having conversations.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: I just imagine the AI glasses explain what's happening here
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: at scoop Fest. There's a guy bananas. Yeah.
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: Due to my licensing requirements, I am not allowed to
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: describe what I'm seeing for public safety information.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Also, you should take eight steps directly back.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: You are you are in a splash zone. Do not
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: ask me what that means. I'll explain after you take
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: eight steps back. First, do what I say.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: So, writer, this is a really good question, you know,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like getting to this place in your career
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: where you're taking these really really hard tests.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: At least.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: My advice from having to be in a similar seat
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: is that simulations are your best friend. Outlining of information,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: making sure you've absorbed it is key. I like that
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: more than just brute forcing, you know, reading things. But
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: that's my learning style, and for some people it's that
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you know, volume, kind of re experiencing it and then
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: it sticks. Every every layer is a new layer of paint,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: and eventually it's you know you've got the right amount,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: so finding your own method, but exploring with all of
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: this and not you know, making use of advanced technology
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: to shoot making that thing give your set.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: I would suggest doing is figure out what that method
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: is going to look like for you. Uh, don't don't
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: be married to that method because that you're gonna evolve
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: and change that method as you as you figure out
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: what you need for it.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: But whatever you decide on at the beginning, whatever method
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: you U said, like if you're gonna do flash cards,
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: or if you're just gonna you know, if you're gonna
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: use chat GBT to to winnow it down and get
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: the main points in whatever that method that you decide
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: to start with, is go at that method on brute force. Yeah,
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: and then change it, you know, adapt it as you
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: need to.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, be afraid to cheat on the test. The last
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: thing I'll say, I did try to do some tricks,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: like if I know I'm going to be taking the
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: exam at nine o'clock in the morning, I would try
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: to do all my studying at nine o'clock in the morning.
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: Oh that's I would try to replicate as much of
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: the actual exam with the studying time, So studying the
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: same time of day for not.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Knowing what gre ahead of your.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, it's my knowledge lack in some areas, but
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I make he's the rain man pot there.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: It's fair.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: There's a lot going on.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: There, like oh, he's not that smart, But then you're like,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: oh my god, he counts all the match.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Sticks as soon as they hit the floor, and you're like,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: what the fuck.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Nick just shows up and surprises you sometimes but wake
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: up in the same time, Cruise, I feel like that's true.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: That was his subtle way of sun. That's where I'm
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: going with this. You can't handle the truth rain Man.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: We're gonna take quick break and when we come back,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about teaching someone else basic skills.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: You're listening to pod Therapy Today's episode Casa Carolyn Albert,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Samy Scoop, Sarah Smith, My Count, Darren Cunningham, Cody the
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: the loreng Guy, Brady Malachack, Maxigen, your Scoop and Elli
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: o'dair and you would like to sponsor the show.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Become a theraprazer Patreon dot com, slash therapy.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: I just rewatched that clip from a few good men,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: you can't handle the Truth.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: I told you. I watched that on the plane, was like,
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Oh that's I was like, Oh, that's not saying. I
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: was like, wait, is this from that movie?
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: God, that's so funny Jack this movie.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, where you didn't get sued for this? Okay,
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: here we go our trivia this week. Let's start with Jim.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: These are amazing accomplishment. Accomplishments before the age of forty?
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Fuck Howell? Was Alexander the Great when he died having
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: conquered most of the known world?
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I'll take options, but he was super young?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Thirty two, thirty five, thirty seven or forty? Oh shit,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: he was in his thirties. I'm going to go thirty.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: Two corract Yeah I spelt right.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Pretty good?
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Alexander the Good enough.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Marie Curry won her first Nobel Prize in physics before
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: turning forty true? How old was she?
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Options?
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Twenty eight, thirty four, thirty six or thirty nine? This
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: is you, Jacob? Oh oh yeah, we're all I.
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: Thought it was. You didn't have to take options if
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: he didn't want to it Whitney as well, Okay, well.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Now you have we needed options. No, he's going to
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: be like I wasn't listening to this because I thought
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: they were Whitney's. Okay.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: It was like, why is he going a Jacob twenty.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Eight thirty four. I don't know where we're going this way?
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I changed it up right, twenty eight, thirty four, thirty
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: six or thirty nine thirty four? No, thirty two? Would
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: you like twenty four for this deal?
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: Eighteen thirty six was at.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: The seven and a half? Yeah, that was see.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, see yes.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Interesting about Marty Curry, is she died of radiation poisons?
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so her.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Discovery cost her that well what she discovered.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Also, Alexander the Great died of you know, so that'll happen.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Uh Whitney. Mark Zuckerberg became one of the youngest self
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: made billionaires in history. How old was he when Facebook
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: made him? Bill made him a billionaire?
• 34:41
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: My gosh, a billionaire? Gosh, So he dropped out of college.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I'll just take options.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Nineteen twenty two, twenty five, twenty nine.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Wow, I'm upset about all those.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: That was the point of this.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: Entire This is twenty five or twenty nine the record.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Alexander the Great did die from a sword wound. Oh,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I said, sword poisoning. So joke's on you.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Sword poisoning. Yeah, is that like a bullet poisoning, similar
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: how Kennedy died. Yeah, I have lead poisoning, you idiot, howna.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: I feel like twenty five is abom say twenty nine
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: because my heart here is twenty five.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: No, wow, all right, it's gonna be twenty five. No,
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: oh no, which was just wrong? Or twenty two?
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: Oh uh he developed it at nineteen two.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: It is twenty four.
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I don't want to keep going. I need to go somewhere.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, okay, I need to go swim teaching someone
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: basic skills I did.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: I have been in the ocean.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: I got a call from an ex girlfriend of a
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: friend they broke up years ago. She described her twelve
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: year old son being approached by that friend on the
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: street by my friend and being frightened by him, and
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: a neighbor intervened, she said. She said she and her
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: neighbor went through their security camera footage over months and
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: found my friend around their house many times. The ex
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: girlfriend asked me to tell my friend to stay away,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: or they'll get authorities involved. My friend already has a
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: criminal background, so getting police involved is even more dangerous
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: than it would be for others. When I confronted my
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: friend He said he had a note that he wanted
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: to give. He remembered fondly the times he was with
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: the family and wanted to assure the son that the
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: son was a good, kind hearted person who could grow
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: up to make significant effects on people's lives. My friend
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: included his phone number in case the boy ever needed him.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: He said that he said he was around the house
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: and the neighborhood so that he could find out when
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: the boy might be around, but the ex girlfriend would not,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: so he could deliver the note and a birthday gift.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I told my friend that continuously checking out someone's home
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: to determine their whereabouts could be considered stalking and the very
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: least it is creepy and weird. I told him that
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I understood why he might be concerned for the child,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: but as a society, we allow parents to have some
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: control over who their children interact with, and some random
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: person can't insert themselves into a relationship with a child
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: against the parents wishes. We do have things where the
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: state can intervene, like Child Protective Services, which is an
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: idea which in an ideal world would be a non
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: prejudicial party who could determine when to intervene, the race
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: of the people involved, makes calls to CPS, a dangers move.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: All of this was something that my friend never considered.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: He didn't connect his frequent visiting of his ex girlfriend
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: as stalking, but once pointed out to him, he could
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: recognize that others would see it that way. Okay, he
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: didn't think of the fact that he was trying to
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: usurp parental rights, but once pointed out, he could recognize
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: that concept. What are resources and tools that I could
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: use to help my friend to start to understand without
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: me pointing out each and everything that he is doing.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: What behaviors to it adhere to social norms, electric fencing?
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: How do I get him to realize that a woman
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: has fear of violence from ex partners and that he
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: would behave that.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Behaving in a.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Way like this would definitely stigmatize that fear. What is
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: available to help keep him so oblivious, To help keep
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: him so oblivious to how he might be seen by.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: Others, maybe keep him from being.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's it. From being so oblivious.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Wow, good lord, I that is rough.
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: I would lie in to a friend of mine if
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: if if I got first of all, if I got
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: dragged into this from any of any of my friends, I'd.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Agree that I was being dragged into Sure, I would.
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: I would immediately come into the situation pissed the fuck off.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm here, and I don't want to be exactly.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: I would be furious at my friend if I if
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: I got this call from like they X, Yeah, he said,
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: this is what's going on, and then I got this explanation. Yeah,
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: I would be so angry. I'd be like, I'm getting
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: dragged into this and you're a fucking idiot.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: And you look at your friend though, and they're just
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: actually befuddled, and you realize, like, man, you are nose blind,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: So like, why this was wrong?
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: Why this is awkward?
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: You thought it was cool to like hang around this
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: house figuring out when the kid is available and the
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: parents are gone and you can give that kid.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: And you thought that explanation would be a sufficient explanation.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: You thought that the explanation made it worse.
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm hanging out my ex's house monitoring when her
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: kid is alone so that I can make contact with
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: that kid.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Give him my number.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: And if you say that behind his mother's sound, you
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: sound like Chris Hansen is waiting for you and that kid.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: And by the way, that's the way to say it. Yeah,
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: that is the correct way to say it. Objectively described
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: your intentions are.
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: I mean, it does obviously matter what the attentions are, sure,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: but like for what we're talking about.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: It does not. I've had Okay, that is what you're doing.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: This may surprise some of you, but I have had
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: moments where i have obliviously not this egregious, but I've
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: obliviously found myself saying something or suggesting something irony.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Of you being yeah, surprised nineteen year olds. Right.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I can think of so many times in my life
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: where I've just like been sitting there enthusiastically talking about
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: something and then somebody looks at me and go, you
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: know that that what you just proposed is this thing?
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Right? And I'm like, oh shit, is that okay? That's
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: that's and like because I'm a bad boy, there it is.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: And like when I hear it said back to me,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: the light bulb does like turn on, and I'm like, yep,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: you're right, that sounded weird. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: walk away right now. Your father's has been here. It
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: is there's there's.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Been quite a few, I guess over the years.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Wonder, yeah, I've had that happen. But yeah, I remember
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: like when I was pretty young and newly married. I
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: think it was like twenty one, and we had made
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: a friend group two people that were part of a
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: couple that were also young, and we were all part
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: of the same church.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: We were hanging out.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: They had a kid, and we were just really getting
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: along with them all the time and hanging out. And
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: I had a lot more in common with the wife
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: than I did with the husband, and the husband had
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: a lot more in common with my wife. And so
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: here we are, We're all hanging out, getting along really great,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: and we just keep making these references to things that
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: like the wife and I are laughing about or whatever,
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: and we're talking about the same books that we've read
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: or whatever's going on, and it's oblivious to our spouses
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: or whatever. And just in this moment we're all getting
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: along so well. And I said something like, one day
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: we should just go out. We're like I hang out
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: with her, you two hang out together, and like we
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: should like go to a museum or something like that,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: because like our spouses wouldn't want to do that shit,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: but like we should go do It'll be really fun.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: And like immediately all three of them start cracking up,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: and like, you know that you just invented swinging.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Right now, right, that's what you're doing.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: You're talking, and I'm like, oh shit, I'm so sorry.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: What have I done?
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: Just so fucking sorry that you didn't think about it?
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Yea saying it? Yeah, and then I like that you apologize.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: So I was horrified, Like, I'm so sorry.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: I didn't mean to make it weird, and like, I
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: just I like museums, and so does she.
• 42:08
  Speaker 8: I thought we should go to one. I like you say,
• 42:10
  Speaker 8: like your wife, I mean, you don't simper hin your wife,
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: I should like to. I just thought this would be
• 42:16
  Speaker 8: a win win for everybody, so I relate to.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: But so what was the outcome? Did they go for
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: that or no? They laughed about it, you know the
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: phone calls. We just couldn't seem to hang out with
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: them anymore. I kept trying to and they just were
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: not we're not into it. So yeah, so I guess
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: there's been times when.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: Any continue that friend relationship after you approach swinging.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: It turned down. Yeah, if no pun intended, But if
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: you do swing, you have to hit a home run.
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: There's no half measures. Half measures avail you nothing. If
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: then your friendships, you're going to propose swinging all in
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: all in, no go grande or go casa. You can't
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: you get back down halfway and just say no, never.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Mind, It'll be fine. There's no going back, and there wasn't.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: We do not hang out those people anymore. They did
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: amazing blocked us on Facebook.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: So it's too bad.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it could have been a really cool friendship. Really
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: like the wife, she was really great.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it seems like the friend, once you pointed
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: it out to them, Uh, he could recognize that others
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: would see it that way, but he doesn't think of
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: it that way. Is that basically?
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's it, and the friend is very amenable
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: to like had the light bulb turn on and went, oh, no,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: you're right, that does sound bad.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: It is how you could look at that. When I
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: say it out loud, I get it. I think the
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: confusing part here is or the difficult part. The real
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: question is are there any preemptive measures you can take
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: to prevent it from happening again in the future? Right?
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, go ahead, I'm sorry this randomly has jumped into
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: my mind. Why are we wondering what the other police
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: issue was that this friend?
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: Oh right, as a background, well, we could probably assume
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: this person has poor judgment.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: Maybe they no, that's it. That's a great point. But
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: I think that's the challenging part is like I don't
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: know what you can do preemptively.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: You know, you've told him like that's what.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: You do, and then if if something else happens again,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: then I think you have this conversation again, like I
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: don't know how you can. Yeah, let me tell you
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: how I do it? Please? Nick? Is how I do it? Yeah,
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: So there's been. I wasn't say this, but I was
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: gonna say, like I've I don't know what the answer is.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: Otherwise I would have applied it, like to get Jim
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: to think before he says something. I don't know.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: It hasn't worked, but there's been, but there's been.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: I can see why you would want that.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Over eight years, I have shown a lot of good
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: restraint where I message Nick first, he's kind of my filter,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: and I'll be like, Hey, I have this great idea.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this thing.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I text him and go, I'm doing this thing.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I already had this great idea. And then I think
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: he looks at that and kind of goes, well, I'm
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: not going to slap him on the nose, you know, like,
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: just let him play it out and he'll eventually realize
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: this was a mistake.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Oh that just happened at scoops.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: Just we need four hundred dollars to his studio to
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: book a video and audio recording sessions that we now
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: do not have.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: We gave him four hundred dollars because.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is a great idea and we
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: didn't like that back.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: No, we by the way, we still have a credit
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: with them, so we should do like our end of
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: your show, and uh, we should do.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: This is how he's finding out. Yeah, I literally been
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: finding out right now. I thought that was reimbursed. I
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: thought we got that bad. No, no, no, that didn't.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, we have a credit, which is gonna be
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I think we should do our end of your show there.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I think it'd be really hard credit, which is.
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: Just like, yeah, you're misunderstanding credit, like to have money,
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: that's basically what we have.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, underpants profit, we got this. But yeah, no, so
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: this happens a lot. We're all come up with an
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: idea and I want to do some idea and be like, oh,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: this would be really cool to do on the show,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: or this is great, and like, mentally, I think Nick
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: will hear it, and then he'll he'll he's very gentle
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: with me, but he'll write back and be like, hey,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: I think you actually had this idea two years ago.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Do you remember this, Like oh yeah, Like yeah, I
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: think you didn't end up liking that idea because of
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: this thing.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, good point.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: So, like I would say, it's really helpful to have
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: a second brain to like bounce ideas off of in
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: lieu of not having a second brain.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: AI, Like I think AI.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: Honestly, if you said the prompt is, hey, I want
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: you to scrutinize my proposal from different angles and tell
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: me how other people might hear this thinking, and like,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: didn't just tell it what you're planning on doing.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: I'm going to hang out in front of this people's house,
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: in front of this eight year old's house. The other
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: thing just starts dialing finish, just stopp stop.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: I don't want to know.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: That's plausible deniability. So preventative.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a way to get people
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: to like hear the bad idea. I think life experience
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: helps because like there's some kind of sting in your
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: brain that goes, wait a minute, I've had this idea
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: before and it wasn't a good one.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: So that helps.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: But like I think you need that second brain, Like
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: I think you need community or using AI.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Maybe that might.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: Those are my best suggestions for getting some kind of feedback, But.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: Then that all relies on the friends in advance realizing like.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, I I feel like in this situation when you say,
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: how do I get him to realize like there's a
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: fear behind this, this isn't he's kind of only seeing
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: it from his perspective. It's very self centered, that's very childlike,
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: and maybe there is something else going on there. But
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: I would say trying to find a way to share like, hey,
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: this isn't about you, like kind of calling out like
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: this isn't about what you think is right. This is
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: putting yourself in there in their space. This is what
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you their spaces, like as a woman being
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: afraid of somebody watching their home and their twelve year old,
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: you dated and things were great then, but she does
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: not see it that way anymore. Right, So this is
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: a fear basing you being here equals fear like just
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: really spelling it out. And if they still don't want
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: to understand, honestly, we can't protect our friends from everything
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: in the world.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: Sometimes consequence is their best teacher.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: Yeap yah a hundred persons.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you just create drop after drop after drop, and
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: it doesn't seem to In fact, sometimes.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: There was a drop. I have not said this supple
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: nineteen year old thing. That's simply not true. I only
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: say it when you guys play.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: She is a hot, supple nineteen year old that just
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: now no, And I think I was in my mouth.
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: God damn it, that was an old one.
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: We wouldn't have a show if this phenomenon, No one
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: would my inability to learn. All you could do is
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: just talk to him and be like, yeah, yeah, think
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: about what you're doing.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: And I think I like I like the writer's approach
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: in being able to understand, like, hey, I'm not you know,
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: I understand your intent, yeah, but also understanding that intent
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: doesn't always matter, right Like reality is a good thing,
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: but perceptions very important. So though I may understand and
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: you and I both know that you weren't trying to
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: do anything harmful, you need to understand what it looks
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: like from the outsideide.
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: You know, if somebody turns on their ring camera and
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: sees that you've been hanging around their house for like
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: an hour and a half every day when you're not
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: around and and you know, watching their kids' movement patterns, like,
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: they're not gonna like that. Yeah, And you know they're
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: not going to like that. If you put yourself in
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: the parent shoes for a moment, you're.
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: Going to realize they've just told you listen to what
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: they're saying.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's everything. And when it comes to like actually
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: developing this skill people, because none of us have a
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: wikipedia amount of understanding about the world around us just
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: built in or really access to that.
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: To me, the skill is we do have access to it,
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: we have a media. But like the skill is to
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: be able.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: To pause before you act right, So like before you
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: act entering into like making that part of your self
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: discipline where you're saying, okay, because I've gotten it wrong
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: so many times, I need to like stop and place
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: a twenty four hour hold on this action that I'm
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: all pumped up to do, and I'm so enthusiastic. I
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: think it's a great idea. I want to make sure
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: I feel this way in twenty four hours. I have
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: so many recordings that I have created for Patreon that
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: like the Blessing. The reason that nobody's ever had to
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: hear them is because I schedule them to be released
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: two weeks later or a week later, because we only
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: release on Mondays, and so like my turn is like
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: every other Monday. And so There's been so many recordings
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: that I've made where I've scheduled it out two Mondays away,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is a slam dunk.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: This is a great idea.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: And then if I have time to think about it
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: before that thing gets released, and then like two or
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: three days later, I'll be like, well, let me just
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: listen to it again with a pair of fresh ears.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Let me just think about this again. And I'll listen
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: to it on double speed, and I'm like halfway through, like, Nope,
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: delete that ship right now, pull that the fuck down,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: get rid of it. It's not a good idea. It's
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: not going to land the way you want it to.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: Your heart was in the right place, but the delivery
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: is poor. Fucking delete. That has saved my ass so
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: many times. That's so like disciplining yourself to do that,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I think is the best move.
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: If I don't throw it in the trash can immediately,
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: it's going out if I go back and listen to
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: it again later. But every one hundred of the time,
• 51:38
  Speaker 4: I'll finish up something and be like I didn't like that,
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: and I'll go back and listen to be like that
• 51:42
  Speaker 4: wasn't bad.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: Putting that out goes the other way. Yeah. Yeah, Well
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: you and Jim are different characters. Yeah, we have different
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: different ways of thinking. Yeah, I would say, but I
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: wonder what happened to that deep dive you did on
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: women in the workforce. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah,
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: in the trash heap, you are welcome. Yeah.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Also, incredible restraint on your part that you never delete those.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: You'll never look in there and go, I'm gonna save
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: him from himself.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: You're like, no, let me see what happens.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: Let him hang himself.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: This is fine, he's gotta learn exactly anyway.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Writer, So you are a noble friend for for helping
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: your buddy. But yeah, if you want to give them
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: any coaching. That's advice that I live by is like,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: whatever idea I think is a great one in the moment,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: I try to like sit on it for twenty four
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: to forty eight hours before acting on it in my enthusiasm,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: and like, once the enthusiasm passes, like my reasonable brain
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: can kind of have a better shot at like walking
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: me through it and going, hey man, here's from three
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: other angles why that might not work? So that and AI,
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: I think you're your best bet for helping your friend
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: tough love tough love, rub his nose in it, kick
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: him in the balls. We're gonna take quick break in
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: when we come back, we're gonna talk about how do
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: I stop feeling self pity and move forward.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: You're listening to pod therapy. Today's episode has brought to
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: you by Carolyn Sam Scoop, Sarah Smith, Aron Cuttingham, Tody
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: Took the Lowering Guy, Max the Cheaper Scoop, and l E. O.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: Dare And if you would like to watch the show,
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: become a patron dot.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Com slash therapy, I'm in the lead.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: Maybe can't be true. Jim Joan of ARC led the
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: French Army to victory at Orleans at what age? False?
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: I think I just had a little answer. Uh, give
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: me numbers fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, twenty, good.
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: Lords, it's one of those your numbers, Jacoby.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Fourteen, sixteen, seventeen or twenty Oh my god, Well this
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: is like a long time ago, right, and so like
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: in the Middle Ages. Sixteen is like Middle Ages?
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: Your son? I mean, yeah, good, he.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: Can pretty Yeah? Could your son lead the French army?
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: His French is not great? I mean it's the French army.
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: How hard could it be? Yeah, that's true.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: True, you're the bravest one of the French army. As
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: a sixteen year old girl. That kind of checks out.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: I'll take sixteen.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: Is he right, Jacob? I don't think so. He is
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: not right? No? Oh, no, is it?
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: Jacob goes to you.
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: I think it's fourteen. No, I'm sorry, Jacob, You're right. Oh,
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: I know what.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Is it? The options it was fourteen seventeen.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: Fourteen, sixteen seventeen or twenty seventeen. It's got to be
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: seventy yes, wow, Jacob. Serena Williams had already won how
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: many Grand Slam Singles titles before she turned thirty? Oh?
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: My oh shit, options ten thirteen, fifteen eighteen?
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: What ten was?
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: Slams?
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, it was a lot.
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: I'll say thirteen oh thirteen, all right, thirteen? Good lord, okay, Whitney,
• 54:53
  Speaker 4: Steve was very good at tennis. I want to just
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: say that, point blank, very very good at tennis. Know
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: how many grands wagon before it fills up? WI excellent
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: Cenis player. Steve Jobs co founded Apple ink at age.
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: What options nineteen, twenty one, twenty three or twenty five?
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: Steve Wating?
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: Oh the other Steah here he lives in. It was
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: not I'm gonna say nineteen.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: Sorry I started reading a head to other ones.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: Uh no, damn, I'm gonna take twenty five. No, uh
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: has b been taken?
• 55:41
  Speaker 7: It has not b Yes, that next kind of GPA
• 55:53
  Speaker 7: twenty one?
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: There you are, twenty one.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm still in the league.
• 56:00
  Speaker 4: The options and what other people were guessing and still
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: got it right.
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: Nice.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's how you study. Let me teach you my ways.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: How do I stop feeling self pity and move forward?
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: From Alex? Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. I've
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: asked a few questions in the past, so thanks for answering. Them,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: and hopefully this one to give some context. I'm just
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: not where I want to be in life. I've recently
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: moved to a new city searching for a job as
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: a software engineer after getting laid off earlier this year,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: and currently working part time at a local grocery store.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I've not made.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: Any friends here yet, though, to be honest, I've not
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: tried very hard. I mostly stay at my apartment unless
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: I get to go out for food or work, and
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not having much luck on dating apps. The few
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: friends I have are people I play games with online
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: and aren't the type of friends I feel comfortable talking
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: about my life with in any serious way. The last
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: time I did that, I just became the unemployed one
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: of the group. I've been working with a therapist since
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: a few months before the layoff, so I have them
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: as a support and they've been great. But in the
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: last few months, it's felt like every week we meet
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: and all I do is vent and complain about how
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: unhappy or alone I feel, how disappointed in myself that
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I can't get a decent job or a few friends,
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: and about feeling guilty and shame for not having much
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: motivation to spend time actively searching for that new job.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: Sure there's some small wins here and there, but it
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: never feels like enough. I've also got some hobbies or
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: goals that I've wanted to get into for a while,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: like learning to make video games or get into music production,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: but it seems like all I end up doing is
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: watching tutorial videos and these hobbies and daydreaming about myself
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: doing them. When I actually try to start working on
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: one of these hobbies or try to learn something, I
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: feel physically exhausted and discouraged and end up spiraling into
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: feeling hopeless. I'm tired of the cycle of complaining without
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: any meaningful action, but I don't seem to be able
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: to flip whatever switch I need to in order to
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: actually move forward and make change in my life. Do
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: you have any tips on what I can do or
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: some explanation of why I might be stuck in this
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: lethargic self pity zone.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: Thanks again, Alex. Pronouns are he and him?
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: Does sound like you're maybe kind of in a little
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: bit of a depressive state, I'll call it. You know,
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: sometimes those can be triggered by life events and it
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: sort of bleeds over into things like yeah, I have
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: ideas of wanting to start these hobbies or these new things,
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: but then once I start, I'm just the lethard lethargy.
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: There we go, or fatigue kind of kicks in, and
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: that can be part of like kind of a light.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna call it a depression light. You know, where
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: where it's out of your norm. You know, normally, if
• 58:52
  Speaker 3: these would be things you'd be really active and engaged in,
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: or like, yeah, I'm starting a new hobby, I go
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: all in. And now when you're starting the new hobby,
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: you're just like, ugh, is just exhausting me. I have
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: energy for it. There could be something like that going on.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: What I would usually suggest in moments like that are
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: usually bringing it back to basics. So with certain clients
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: that work with I might call this basic bitch therapy
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: where yep, I.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: Sense some a pumpkin spice lato.
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, no that's white girl. Yeah, different vibe, different therapy vibe. No,
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: but things like just accomplishing the minimal, like getting outside
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: if you live in a place like Las Vegas where
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: it's eighty degrees today and sunny, getting outside, you know, sunlight, sleep,
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: if you can of some limitation on electronic devices sometimes
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: kind of like grounding yourself. Maybe don't try a new hobby.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: Do you have an older hobby, like just reading fantasy
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: novels or whatever, something it feels comfortable, that's easy, like
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: make the barrier easier than a new hobby that takes
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: a lot of effort and our brain has to adjust.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: To I one hundred percent agree, and I'll agree with that,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: but then also go just one step together. Please, you
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: can do the same thing with new hobbies. Because here's
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: how I think that's hard brain. It definitely is. But
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: it's because it's because we have a mechanism for doing
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: things that we've already done before that we don't utilize
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: for doing new things. Okay, so when okay, So if
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: you were going to do a hobby that you always do,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: which is I'm kicking puppies, I imagine that's one of
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: the things that.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: You well you're in the realm.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: Jooard, she kicks puppies. Hobbies, you know, whatever it is
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: that hobby that you do, if it's something you've been
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: doing for a long time but you don't need.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: Let's do good. It's like you've looked this up or something,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: or like experience.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: But everybody, you don't need to plan. You don't need
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: a detailed plan to do that, okay, Right, it's just autopilot,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: like you just kick in and you just go do it.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: I think one of the problems that people run into
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: when they're creating new hobbies and they've got goals is like, okay,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: so one of the goals that the writer talked about
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: is creating video games. All right, there's a huge disconnect
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: between your starting point and where that is, and if
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: you don't fill in the gaps with these easily measurable steps,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: you just get stuck watching YouTube tatorial videos. So and
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: this is where actually, what Jim is probably going to
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: say is utilizing GPS, chat GBT, since that has been
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: the answer to every questions so far today the name
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: of this, Yeah, I think what you can do is
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: create a detailed process to get from your starting point
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: to your end goal, but with really simple things. So
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: maybe today I'm gonna watch some YouTube tutorial videos. Tomorrow
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make a list of supplies that they
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: need to buy. The day after that, I'm going to
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: figure out a budget for how much I have to
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: spend on these supplies. The day after that, then I'm
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: gonna so like you create daily a daily list. But
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: they are things that are really really easy. Because here's
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: the other thing too that I think would be beneficial
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: is if you're able to start accomplishing some of these
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: really small things, then you can start to pat yourself
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: on the back. You've got something that you can say, oh,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: I did a good job with this. Okay, Okay, your
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: your face is saying so much right now. But about it?
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 9: So saying museum Whitney like museums. I don't think it's weird.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 9: Two friends can platonically go to a museum hang out.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 9: I was thinking the erotic heritage museum.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: It's all one place to hang out.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: The largest orgy, although this is just an orgy.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: Tell me what you.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: Read I guess I'm thinking of in I don't know,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm going into thinking about like clients have worked
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: with where they just those all start to feel like roadblocks.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: And I I hear what you're saying, and I think
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: probably that is helpful for some people, But I just
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: also want to say, like, I don't know, sometimes doing
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: the easier things and feeling contentment in that sometimes and
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know where this writer, Alex, where your head's
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: at exactly. But if there's any version of like pressure perfectionism,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: which when you mentioned you're an engineer, I just assume
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: like probably other things are also going on there.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: You're driving trains, you have to really be precise or
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: running trains. That's right. Precision is important. You gotta nail it.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like just doing the one step
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: after another if you're very regimented like that. Some some
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: clients I've worked with are like, yeah, if it's on
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: my calendar, I'll do it.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: So those people I kind of like that, like here's
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: your your thing, and your therapist says, I'm going to
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: check in next week, this is your one task to
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: do or whatnot? Then sure that could help. That has
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: helped with clients I've worked with. I think sometimes I
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: have clients that are just like that's just not enough,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: Like I'm still not good enough because I don't have
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: the job, because I don't have whatever. So it's almost
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: like shifting that mindset, and that's way more than we
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: can answer on this show. That takes a lot of
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: work with your therapist, but shifting that mindset into trying
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: to kind of accept where you're at first, and that
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: will help you break through to like growth later. But
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: I don't know, so it's both. It just depends on
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: what where else is coming from. So I do think
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: you're right in some aspects. I've seen that specific thing
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: that you just describe worked really well with some clients.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: But sometimes if they're really deep in it and that
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: kind of perfection is a mindset that can be hard.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we have a great Patreon recording of you breaking
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: down smart goals, which I think are really really useful.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: It's in our archives our library patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: If you go to the very first post, it's just says, hey,
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: start here, and it's just all of our things that
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: we've ever created, for the most part, in categories, listed
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: out with links that we can just touch the link
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: and go straight to it, so that there is a
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: great piece in there about smart goals. But I really
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: like the idea of micro accomplishments, right, like breaking it
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: into the atomic scale where it's like we can start
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: succeeding with those wins. What's hard about some goals where
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: the goal is a learning curve that's difficult, like that
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: where the writer's saying like, oh man, I want to
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: learn like music production, and it's like okay, or designing videos.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: Have you produce music before no Night?
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: And it's like it's so much different than if you said,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: like I want to do like more fitness or something
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: like that. It's like, Okay, that is very approachable in
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: the sense that you don't have to learn a lot.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: You can hire somebody who knows that and then just obey,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: you know, like show up. Your trainer will teach you. Your
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: job is to show up and do it. And like
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: that's a different form of motivation. But to like muster
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: mental energy, to use mental rigor to learn something is
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: really difficult. If you were going to use AI, I
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: could see you doing something where you're asking it Okay,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: my goal is to learn how to do music production.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: I want you to create a whole bunch of items
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: that would be small learning milestones along the way so
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: that I can gamify this and make it interesting for myself, Like, okay,
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: I need to this week. My goal is to learn
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: how to you know, fade out the music in the
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: thing or whatever. Okay, great, I'm gonna use my little
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: program and figure that out. Great, I did it check
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: and like give yourself a point or whatever, Like it
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: takes some kind of like atomic level, you know, like
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: scripting to I think, get to a place. But it's
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: hard because I feel like anytime that the task or
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: the objective requires mental labor, it's a mental effort. It's
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: an emotional effort. You have to like summon yourself to
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: like do that I have. It's so many things in
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: life where like, oh, I really wish I knew this thing,
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: like guitar, Like I really wish I could play better guitar.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: And it's like I want that. The absence of that
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: bothers me. I would enjoy that, but I want the
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: result more than I enjoy the wyah. And so then
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: it's like Okay, when I sit down, I'm like, okay,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: I need to understand music theory better. Let me try
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: to use this learning tool. Let me watch this video.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: And then like my heart quickly loses interest.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: Do you ever because I totally understand this? Have you
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: ever set like a I don't want to say a goal,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: just like an informal thought really of like okay, I'm
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: gonna play guitar. I'm gonna spend ten minutes just working
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: on scales and then I'm gonna go do whatever I
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: want to do kind of.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: So what ended up having with me is like I
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: tried to better myself with guitar by learning scales and
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: use it. But back when I was trying to learn,
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: it was very workbook driven. So you go to the
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: music store, you buy the workbook, you try to self
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: teach from that, and that I really struggled with that.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: For whatever reason, I could not and I still to
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: this day, music theory evades me, like I can't cognitively
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: get it. And my kids are both musicians. One plays violin,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: one plays guitar. They're both really good, and like they'll
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: sit down with me and they're trying to explain like
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: the letters and how the letters make sounds, and like
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: how those letters can also be sharp or flat and
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: here's what that means. And like they're trying to show
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: me acronyms and like they draw it on a line
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: and they're like, hey, dad, watch this, it's going up,
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't fucking.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: Get it, you know, like none of this makes anything.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: Don't read music at all.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: No, I don't understand and it I do not under I.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 4: Think you have to read music first before understanding music theory.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 4: You probably I agree with You're you're jumping to running.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: I've tried to have YouTube explain it. I've tried anyway.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: So like to your question of like, have you ever
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: tried an incremental strategy where you say, Okay, I'm just
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: going to do these drills. Yeah, So, like on a guitar,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: I can sit there and just drill.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: This is where you put your finger to make these sounds.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: And if you see these necessary in the future.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: This is guitar, and on a person and on women,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: make them make sounds, play them like a fiddle. But yeah,
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: so I've done that incrementally, but not with like enormous success.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: It's like the way that I taught myself guitar was
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: learning chords and then finding songs that I wanted to play,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: and then just enjoying that, like yeah, enjoying the fun
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: part of it, and then doing that enough times that
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: I had learned all chords possible because I needed them
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: at some point.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: So, uh, to flip this over to golf, as I
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: always I was worried.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: We were take a drink way too long.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: Really several episodes, I yah sat of self restraint, No,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: but like learning things. So I've a lot of golf
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: instructors have said something like this too, where like, if
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: you're practicing a skill and you're going to go to
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: the driving range and you're going to practice this skill,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: set a goal of how many balls you're going to
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: hit with doing this one drill, and then once you're
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: done with that, do something fun, okay, like create a
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: game of you know, doing something else. But don't just
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: go there and for two hours do this one drill okay,
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: because you'll just get tired of it, you'll start to
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: resent it. You're not going to focus on it. Your
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: your first few swings are going to be very focused,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: and then after that you're unfocused and now you're just
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: practicing a bad movement.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: Because you're just trying to get through it. Yeah, you're
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: not enjoying it.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I want to because a lot of a
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 4: lot of like making yourself a forty forty list and
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 4: then trying.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: To cheat your way through it.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: It's exactly like that joy list. It defeats the purpose.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 4: It's the same as like I've got so okay, do it.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: Nobody will be happier than I.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: Will is such an ADHD response, like a plenty of
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: time to get there.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: No, but like I don't think you're going to do
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: a single additional one guitar playing, go eat Indian food,
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: guitar playing, and golf. A lot of it is muscle memory, okay, Right,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: So if you're not focused when you're learning it, and
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: you're completely unfocused, all you're going to do is you're
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: practicing a movement that you're going to have to fix
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: later because you're learning bad habits. So you know, like
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: if if it was just scales or something like that,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to commit ten minutes to practicing this
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: one thing and then I'm going to go do something fun. Yeah.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: I also think like if you're learning music, like you're
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: learning how to produce music professionally, kind of like what
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: Jacob can do. I feel like it's a lot more
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: fun when as you learn things, you now get to
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: go do something with that new lesson you've learned. It's like,
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: now you know how to do this.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: That's always true.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: You read something like have some fun with that. Like
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: for me, every time I learned a new chord, I'd
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: get excited to look up a song and be like, oh,
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: now I know the A chord. I can play this song. Now,
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: let me try. And like that was fun, you know,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: like I got to apply it and that made it
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: more of a game or made it enjoyable.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 4: That like that just means that you're like, I don't know,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 4: is that about teaching Jim how to do music theory?
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: But it is weird that you've like because you've done
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: most of the steps. Yeah, that's the thing. You just
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: haven't done all of them, and you haven't done them
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: in any kind of order.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know why anything that I do works. But
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: if you give me a song.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: But if I show you a music staff and there's
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 4: a there's a note on that music staff, can you
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 4: tell me what note that is?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: No, you couldn't. You couldn't point at that and be like,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: that's an E.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 4: No, that that is a trouble claft a trouble clough uh,
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 4: and that that marking notes And.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: Not only do I not know that that's an E.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: If you said, explain the concept of E in music,
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. Okay, Okay, yeah, this
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: is weird. It's pretty empty.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: This this is odd. If you pointed to a piano
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: a key and you said this is an H sharp.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: I don't think he would you just go with it?
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: Well, I know that sharps mean like they're half something
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: above the other thing. But you and probably the one
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: to the left of the H sharp is an H.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: But then I wouldn't.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: Maybe the one one more left is maybe an H
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: flat or maybe it's the black is it? The black one?
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 4: Was like?
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 3: What age?
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: So like the H is the middle one and then
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: you go up to the black one. That's exactly yea
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: to go to the left sage if H were a note.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: Oh it's not that is the case.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 3: I was just going to say, how many.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 2: D e f G.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 4: How silly of me to think it was one more
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: letter than the one you stopped at. I'm the idiot,
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 4: you music theory.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 3: This is basically an elementary music class.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: Xylophones and elementary music music theory.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 3: Says me as a choir class.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah for not knowing that it stops on one letter
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: not the other thing. Oh boy, yes you're no, that
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: is correct. You are the asshole false anyway, writer A
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: good luck. I feel like when there's a rigorous, like
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: cognitive learning curve on something though it is really hard.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to say super duper quick that your
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: therapist talk to them about this too, that you're like, hey,
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm coming in here inventing all the time.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: Because as a therapist, sometimes there will be clients have
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 3: that come and invent. Sometimes I will push back and
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: like try and give helpful advice, and sometimes they push
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: back and it's like there's a push pull where they
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 3: don't they want to come in and just spent. But
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: sometimes I'll let clients do that, and then I'll have
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: every once in a while to be like, hey, I
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: feel like we've kind of like we show up, we
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: do our thing, but we've gotten off of our goals
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: or like even if we haven't hit our ninety days
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: or whatever where we review our treatment plan, I promise
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: I do this. So after that it's it's like I
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: just think that they will tell me usually, and that
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: can be a little hard. Honestly, as a therapist, I'm like,
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: oh gosh, was I not doing my job right? But really,
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 3: when I'm working with my client, that's my own personal response.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 3: Really deep down, I'm like, oh no, this is good.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: That means they're wanting to work on something they're comfortable
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 3: telling me, I get pissy.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: I kind of get defensive because, like to me, when
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: you get the stages of change and somebody comes in
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm in preparation, I want to start
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: goal setting. I really want to attack this, and I
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: want you as a therapist to hold me accountable. To
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: some extent, I can, but I cannot care about this
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: more than you. I cannot throw you on my shoulders
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: and carry you up the mountain. So when you come
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: in week after week and you're like, I'm spiraling in
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: shame and guilt, I feel like I'm under accomplished. Okay,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: that becomes my mental health issue that I need to
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: be dealing with and de escalating in your life because
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: those are not tools. You can't build anything with shame
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: or guilt. So I have to address that now. And
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: then a month later you're like, I just don't feel
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: like you push me. You beat the shit out of yourself.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: So there is no opportunity for me to quote unquote
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: hold you accountable. You're doing some kind of transference where
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: you want me to be your father or you want
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: me to be like your coach, and like, to some extent,
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: I can't do those things for you, because if you're
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: gonna keep coming in and like falling short of these things,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: I have to help you like stave off depression and
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: like deal with that, and I need to be an
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: unrelenting positive influence on you. And also life's doing plenty
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: to motivate you. You want these things done, you're feeling
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: the absence of those things, just like with alcoholics, they're like,
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: why haven't you stopped me from drinking yet? That's not
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: how this works, Champ. When you're ready to stop drinking,
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: I can show you the way. But if you show
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: up and you're not ready yet, I can't scream or
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: cry or beg or you know, like hold your hand.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: I have to let you go back into life, let
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: life kick you in the balls again, and then you'll
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: come back and go, hey, bad things keep happening when
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: I drink and I go, okay, are you ready? I
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: think I am great. We're going to go as far
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: as your will will allow you to go, and we're
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: gonna keep working on this project incrementally. Same thing happens
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: with goals, and so sometimes like it frustrates me because
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: like you'll have patients that come in and you're like, well,
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: I told you these goals, like you're not pushing me
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: toward them. And it's like, I'm with.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 3: You on that. Is you important?
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not going to debate you on it because
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: that will hurt our alliance. But in the back of
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: my mind, I'm thinking you fundamentally are misunderstanding what my
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: role is. You want somebody, you want to just hire
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: a profession It's like going to Nick as a personal trainer.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: Like I came to you and said that I wanted to,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: you know, get buff, and you know what I've I've been.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: I've hired you for three months and I am not
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: buff yet. And it's like, yeah, you don't do any
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: of the things I tell you to do, and then
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: you come in every other time, you come with an
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: excuse every other time not to show up. You do
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: not do the exercises I ask you to do at home,
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: and you're yelling at me because you're hoping that I
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: was going to yell at you or hold you accountable
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: or something like that. But if I did that, it'd
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: only push you further away from your goals. So I'm sorry, Like,
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: I have things in my pocket that I can help
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: you with but at the end of the day, this
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: is your journey.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: So I don't know, it's amazing.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 3: I agree, but I think that would be good for
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 3: the client to talk to the therapist about because agains
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 3: it is the therapist an opportunity to kind of touch
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 3: base and like because they know this writer better than
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: we do. So it's like, yeah, if that is what's happening.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: Definitely bring it up, yeah and say, yeah, I feel
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: underwhelmed with my progress and can we orient on that?
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: Like that's fine, that's because yeah, sometimes as a therapist,
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: like well, if that keeps coming up, like I would
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 3: rather focus on that, like what makes you want to
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 3: go towards your goal?
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: Well, it opens up a solution focused conversation and therapy
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: where we can say, okay, great, let's talk about when
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: you've had any success, what were we doing differently and
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: when we're not making it what and so like I'd
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: love to study the problem with you and help you
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: get out of your own way. And that is great work,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: Like that is great therapy, it's great coaching. That's what
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: you need from me. But sometimes people get so frustrated
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: their own install that they look at the therapists like, well,
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: I need somebody to blame here, and so I think
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 1: it's work. Yeah, And it's like you set the agenda
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: for us. You come in and we go on whatever's
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: going on in your life. And if you're like, oh,
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: you let me bitch for fifty minutes about my relationship
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: or my sense of loneliness instead of pushing me toward
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: my dating objectives. And it's like, if we do not
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: deal with your loneliness and your emotional frustration with you know,
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: whatever's happening, we can't push you towards your dating objectives.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: So this is front burner shit.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: We have to with it, like and so like sometimes
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: that's frost. Anyway, writer, I'm defending your therapist and changing
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: you in the right direction.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: Good luck.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: We are going to take a quick break and then
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: we're going to wrap up the show and we're gonna
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: call out all the names of the people that support
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: us on patreon dot com slash therapy. You're listening to
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: pod therapy.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: Today's episode has brought to you by Juni Schneier, Leon
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 2: Carolyn Albert, Sami Scoop, Sarah Smith, Mike now Bearn, Cuttingham, Tody,
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 2: The Dolorence Road Guy Brady, Malaychack, Max, the Ginger, Scoop
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 2: and Elly odare and if you would like to sponse
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: to the show, you can become a therap fuster at
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 3: Any new patriot no more.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 4: So.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: We are recording this October twenty sixth, and so if
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: you have joined our support network at Patreon dot com
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: slash therapy since the twenty six we will thank you
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: in a future episode. You won't hear your name on
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: this one. At the beginning of every month, we like
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: to thank all the therapods. There are dactyls, their producers
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: who make our show possible. And I'm gonna read off
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: our therapods. Thank you, Universe. Jeff Robert, Paulson, Richard Bruins,
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: Linda Brandmeyer, Scoop Surenot, Joseph Pengrazzio, Corey Owens, Christine Phillips,
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: Gavin Bristow, Carrie Terrhart, Kiwi Fruit, Scoop, Take an Evy Podcast,
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: Craig Little, Jim Hunter, Scoop, Atron to Hot Canfield, David
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: Swords and Felicia Butler, Shla Bullock, Lauren is O, Katie Chiwakowski,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: Adam Petanouzo, Matt's Lenigren Lee Popsicle, Scoop Itter, Ascending That,
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: Josh Guy we Weekend, Julius Kappel, Mamma, Ninja Scoop, James Dawson,
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: Grumpy Lake, Mead Park Ranger, Sarah Olo, Sam Buck, Karen McCulloch, Chemist, Lyla,
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: Kelly Gagner, Nippy, Brian Emmera, Matthew Johnson, Aleck Lancaster, j
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: D Congen a Literal Pickle, Matthias Vanda Brampt Death Death,
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: Drew Hellig Aka, Death to his Enemies, Fredy, hen Tinsley,
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: Flndy Smells Funny, Joel McMillan, Matthew Cubic, Chad Chad the
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: Safety Lad Walker, Fluke Almost Doctor Nurse, Joey Duffy, The
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: AMFT Therapist, Bear, Philip Guidon, Tim Mystery, Kristin Robbins, Frya,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: Freya lah Sin Yes, Christopher Gercy Kirka Grim, Tricia Ortiz,
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: dj Sewert, Melissa Lgeisler, Mississippi, Hippie scott A, Patty Glad Fife,
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: Heather W. Kyle, Trontastic, Anthony Camarado, David Williams, Williams Nailed It,
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: Kate Polease, Eric Dyer, Curonel Pillar, Buddy Dobbins, Glitch, Scoop,
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: Nathan Mookie, bug Nuts and Stephen Landon, Aletta Blaze, Adam Blaze,
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: No relation, Persephonie Hazard I did John Finlayson, K, Pizzle Dizzle,
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: Kenneth Wong, Robert Cole, Cole call Yes, Carmen Perry, k
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: J Mister Poth, Jeff Darnell, Sinsidium, jimmybe Jacob Hurt Ray,
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: j Shark, What does scoop mean? Silca Daniels Recreated, Ben Sherman,
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: Jacob Billingsley, Alex Jardine, K Trauma, Sherri Hare, Dylan Collopye
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: Wolfio five, Chris Courtney Dale, The King, Adam goff Asling Ashling, Carlton,
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: thank you for that, Parenthesy Cedar, Hayden, Livy n is Hakasan,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: Kevin s Tribe, Terrible, Tay Grace Anybitty Chicken Farmer, Sam
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: Chill Food, John Coveradas Cover Carve Vadas K, Mappy's Zachary
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: w Fish, Bumfish, Almanda, Almanda, Nora charm City Therapist, Emily Cope, Jareva,
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: Nate Walk Scoop, Bucky Squabby, the listiciousin What's Titician, Foxy
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: Sally's Zelsa, Ray Skywalker, Claudy Pies, Hunter McCrae, Hannam Amaya,
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: Joshua Schultz, Matthew Connor, Neck, Pubes, Winter, Scoop, Andreas s,
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: Mike Lush, The Wintle, Shitty Titty Kitty, Kyle Sharton, Renee
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: g Matt and Joseph Wagner.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 3: We also have our Theradactyls Scoop, Brady Ice Blue Scoop,
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 3: Brian Lehman, Andre Anderson, Frozen Cusser, Lori ls Roth, Polygon, Say,
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 3: Shaunagan Scoopy Scoopy, just Ess, Okie Scoop, Dank Butda brooks Lyle,
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 3: Adam Ribchik, Lovely Spark, Sir is just Fine. Jim and
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: Manu the Offices of Counselor and Counselor, a qusty Quillant,
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 3: Casey Mentor, Fuck Yeah, Bitch, Melkboy and Mommy Da Mate.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, we got a scoop baby.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the new baby. Jim and Manu have officially pro created, hooray,
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: and baby is doing great And if you want updates,
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: our discord is filled with fun updates and pictures, and
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: mommy is doing fun.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: So cute, so we are very very happy.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, and they did, as per the agreement of the
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: Patreon named the baby after me. But I appreciated and Jim,
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: I'm also sorry for but Prima Nocta, you know, and them.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 2: Job and Jeans.
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: They they are just gonna break right through the visectomy
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: and they did, so congratulations and do not call me
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: fri any.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: This is this is that part where we talk about
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 2: like he like you have to think how other people
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: may Okay.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: Probably yeah, okay, now that I'm hearing it back, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: I could see where they would be like, hey, don't
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: putend like you had sex with Manu. We don't appreciate that. Yeah, okay, yeah,
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: that's good call. Yeah, maybe just celebrate the baby leave
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: it there. Okay, yeah, good call, good call. We'd like
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: to thank the benevolent, revered, generous, and flagrant actually there
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: be die Hard all so much they give till it
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: hurts that their partner pick it hanging. And we'd like
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: to thank our bosses, the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati, members
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: of the fan club, the their producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, Meira,
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint Smitty Scoop, Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia,
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: Leon Cassab, Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: Stamy Scoop, Slurpi Kai Motherfucker, Ben Stanley's Lapping Your Face,
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Biler Team, Mike helm Usker, Swanros
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: paris A, Sonny Boy, Darren Cunningham, Libs Center, Mcwaffle Team, Monico,
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: Thunder Cougar, Falcon Scoop, Hey O Hanna, Marie Andrew Ling Meat,
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: Emma Tonka and Pony Soprano Elena cord To the Lori Guy,
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: Brady Malay, Chick Chick fil Atio Gabriel of Dome, Shaun Sutherland, Mexaginger, Scoop,
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: Chad mag Adam Warren, Inkle, The Prince, Sam Cone, Bigay,
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: do Crimes, el e Odare and Blip blop.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: And if you would like to hear this episode uncut
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 2: and unedited it and I will you and enjoy our
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: spontaneous side projects, go to patreon dot com slash therapy
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: and thank you for supporting mental health. Well that's all
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 2: the time we got for this week's session.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: We'd like to thank the nameless studio that supports us
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: and hosts US. And we'd like to thank all of
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: you contributed to our show today.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 4: We do appreciate it because remember bullets, pod therapy isn't
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 4: something you should see've helped yourself?
• 1:25:34
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• 1:25:37
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• 1:25:45
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• 1:25:49
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• 1:25:50
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• 1:25:54
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• 1:25:55
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• 1:25:58
  Speaker 3: I'm Nick Tangeman, Whitney, I'm Jim.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: Thanks and we'll see for your apartments next week. She
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: has a hot supple nineteen year old? Why why are
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 2: you using Knick's voice though? See how people are my voice? Man,
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: This AI is getting out of control. Goodbye, everybody,