Latest / ChildCare Conversations / 391: Why leaving your preschool was the healthiest decision you could make with Bryanne Adler

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391: Why leaving your preschool was the healthiest decision you could make with Bryanne Adler · ChildCare Conversations

• 0:03
  Childcare Conversations: Welcome to Childcare Conversations, a growing community of early childhood leaders asking better questions and finding real solutions together.
• 0:11
  Childcare Conversations: The conversations shaping early childhood happen here.
• 0:15
  Childcare Conversations: This episode is presented by North Star School Supply, the one-stop shop for all things school.
• 0:22
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• 0:28
  Childcare Conversations: All at amazing savings for your center.
• 0:30
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• 0:35
  Childcare Conversations: Visit NorthstarschoolSupply.com to learn more.
• 0:39
  Childcare Conversations: Now let's get into today's conversation, one we think you're really going to enjoy.
• 0:56
  Kate Woodward Young: Not New York City.
• 0:57
  Kate Woodward Young: And Brianne is just going to share with us a little bit about how she got into early childhood.
• 1:04
  Kate Woodward Young: And I'm really excited for some of the things that she's going to talk about today.
• 1:09
  Kate Woodward Young: And well, you never know what might be unlocked.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, everybody.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Brianne and I got started in early childhood many, many moons ago.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I actually started off as a floating teaching assistant and have worked every area of education all the way up to owning and directing my own preschool.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I got a question.
• 1:31
  Kate Woodward Young: I know I've interrupted you already.
• 1:33
  Kate Woodward Young: We didn't even get into your intro.
• 1:35
  Kate Woodward Young: So when you say that you started as a floater, why did you start as a floater?
• 1:40
  Kate Woodward Young: What brought you in?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, was this because you knew somebody?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: No, it was literally just my start.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was a stay-at-home mom for nine years.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So when my daughter was old enough, I had always wanted to be a teacher I knew.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back to Bose's, I got my teaching assistant license, and I actually started at a head start.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they had me on as a floating TA.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then after a couple months of being there, they're like, oh, you actually know what you're doing.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I try.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And they put me in a room full-time as um if a real TA in one of the rooms.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just kind of went from there and moved on up.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 2:13
  Kate Woodward Young: All right.
• 2:14
  Kate Woodward Young: Well, so I have to plug that because I always find it interesting how people find themselves into early childhood.
• 2:20
  Kate Woodward Young: So some of it's it's because we had a kid and all of a sudden we're like, oh, we need a place to put them.
• 2:27
  Kate Woodward Young: And we don't like our choices.
• 2:29
  Kate Woodward Young: And so we find ourselves in early childhood that way.
• 2:31
  Kate Woodward Young: Other people have known since they were three.
• 2:34
  Kate Woodward Young: So if you've listened to child care conversations for a while, uh, you know that uh my longtime co-host and cousin, uh Carrie, has had known since she was three that she wanted to be um own a preschool or own a school, where I found myself here uh because, well, you know, I had a kid.
• 2:52
  Kate Woodward Young: So I needed to figure out what to do with him.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: So my my daughter was too old at that time.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: So unfortunately, by the time I got there, and I didn't know I just knew I wanted to be in education, and a lot of that was due to my mom because she was a TA in elementary school, and I was like, oh.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: So she was my inspiration for a lot of that.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I actually got my education started very late in life.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I did one semester at my community college when I graduated high school, and that was more than enough for me at that moment.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, but I am very happy with the road I took and the doors I went through because if I got it back then, I don't know I would have had the same passion and everything else that I have currently.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: So, while yes, it was a little bit more difficult getting it later in life, especially with a young child.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm so happy I did it the way I did because there have just been so many more opportunities that came my way and just I knew more of what I wanted at those points.
• 3:44
  Kate Woodward Young: That is such a great reminder for people who are listening.
• 3:47
  Kate Woodward Young: So if you are listening and you're like, I don't have a degree, maybe I need to get one, or maybe I need to do some additional training.
• 3:56
  Kate Woodward Young: I love the fact that you mentioned that you may not have had that same passion and you may not have, you know, found your way there.
• 4:03
  Kate Woodward Young: So hopefully if you're listening and you're one of those people that are trying to figure out if you need more education, you know, there's lots of different ways to do that.
• 4:12
  Kate Woodward Young: You can do it by proving you know what you know uh through something like a CDA or a learned experience degree.
• 4:19
  Kate Woodward Young: Uh you could go back to school if that is something that you think that you want.
• 4:23
  Kate Woodward Young: But remember, if you've been doing this for a while and you're already the owner and the director, you've got all the credentials you need.
• 4:29
  Kate Woodward Young: You just now need to make sure people know that.
• 4:31
  Kate Woodward Young: Okay.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, you know, honestly, back then, like I didn't think a bachelor's was going to be reality for me, a master's was gonna be reality.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm for I'm gonna be 42 in a couple days, and I'm um in my almost my third year of my doctorate program.
• 4:46
  Kate Woodward Young: I love that.
• 4:47
  Kate Woodward Young: And so yeah, so so there's probably something that you liked about research and really kind of it was more than just lifelong learning.
• 4:56
  Kate Woodward Young: There, there's a something.
• 4:57
  Kate Woodward Young: So tell me a little bit about uh your what you're studying in your or what prompted you to go get your doctorate.
• 5:03
  Kate Woodward Young: Uh so in other words, what was the research bug that you wanted to look at?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm a terrible researcher and I really found that out very quickly because I'm a very slow reader.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it's torture because I'm like, and I had to, I know it's gonna sound slow, but I had to learn how to reread again, especially academically.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can't sit there and read a 45-page document and expect to get everything done at once.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So that being said, I had to kind of reteach myself how to look for key points, I had to Google things, relearn that area.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: But a big part of my doctorate was that I have very big dreams and goals in life.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And some of the dreams and goals I have, I feel like if you don't have the credentials, they're not even gonna look your way.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, down the road, too, I would love to become a professor eventually.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you need the certain qualifications for that.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's rare that they might do it without certain credentials, but I know it's better off when you do have those credentials.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of it is just because of the the goals I want to reach, the dreams I have for it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I would love to be a professor to teach those young ones of before you step in the classroom, here's the reality of it.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of just reading a book and being like, oh yeah, that's easy, here's what we're gonna really learn today.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so and my husband is very excited because he just wants to say he's married to a doctor.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I told him, like, he can't do like if somebody's like, is there a doctor in the house?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot call on me.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: I have first aid and C PR, but that's where it stops.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, but and it's just been, I again, like, I didn't think I was ever gonna get a master's.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, Well, I have the energy and ambition now.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let me start it.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: My girls are off at college, perfect timing.
• 6:41
  Kate Woodward Young: I love that.
• 6:41
  Kate Woodward Young: So, so the whole family's getting some additional higher education.
• 6:45
  Kate Woodward Young: What what a great story that is, probably all in itself.
• 6:49
  Kate Woodward Young: So, Brianne, what is the one thing that if you could have any conversation with an owner or a director, you're having a cup of coffee with them.
• 6:59
  Kate Woodward Young: What would you like to say?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, oh, that's a tough one.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many things.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a big, a big thing for me with working with directors and leaders of any kind, I always touch base on classroom management.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's, I feel like there's a very big stigma of classroom management, it's just about how you do circle time, how you teach, and behavior.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, that's it's a big part of it, don't get me wrong.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like when they box themselves in like that, they have a harder time understanding their staff and why certain things are going on in the classroom and what kind of professional development they actually need or support they need.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I work with leaders as well, and it's like, okay, well, what's the core problem?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because I find a lot of times they're just they're dealing with the surface issue.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it goes away for a little bit, but then it comes back again.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it's very much just that where we are expected to acknowledge children's uniqueness and recognize them as a whole child, we have to do the same with adults.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Not everybody learns the same way.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: One person may learn from sitting in front of a computer and watching a YouTube video, the other person might need to actually like do hands-on, you know.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's really important when we have those discussions as leaders and directors, we're talking about our staff and in the way that they need to be represented professionally, especially in early childhood.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're not always used as professionals.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've had a couple occasions where we had parents call us babysitters.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but the last time I checked, I haven't sat on one yet.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um also they could afford me if I was babysitting.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, my my my income would be a lot higher, trust me.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think it's just really important that we have those conversations of recognizing our staff, understanding the issues, what classroom management really is, and how to help them with that, and how to help ourselves with this so we understand what they're dealing with.
• 8:49
  Kate Woodward Young: Well, okay, so let's let's dig into that a little bit because I would love for you to share maybe a tip or two with if again, you've got a new director who's listening to today's episode, and she goes, Well, yeah, I know how to do classroom management because they may do, maybe they do, but what is a way or a strategy that they can help the new teacher uh learn or engage appropriately in classroom management?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, first and foremost, here's where onboarding really comes in handy because this is where you're gonna set your standards.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna where you're gonna set your expectations and where you're gonna find out what they know and don't know.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um, I recently worked with a leader, she made her onboarding.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So we had a classroom management checklist added to it where she was able to ask them certain questions and ask for like, hey, like if this is the example, how would you handle it?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think it's really important to have those conversations one-on-one with your staff of where do you feel you really thrive?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And where do you feel your area of opportunities and why do you feel that is an area of opportunity?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And also just observe, walk into that classroom unexpected.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I mean, I know it's not fun for them, but it get when when you tell people you're coming, they're always gonna put on a smiley face, they're always gonna have their best and they're ready to go.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes when we just show up, and as long as staff know this is not an attack kind of thing, you know, it's okay to sit in the back and be like, I'm just watching.
• 10:18
  unknown: Absolutely.
• 10:18
  Kate Woodward Young: You know, because when you have nervous.
• 10:20
  Kate Woodward Young: I love management by walking around and management by observation because you learn so much.
• 10:25
  Kate Woodward Young: And I think the the key part of what I got out of what you said is to ask those questions.
• 10:30
  Kate Woodward Young: And I love having a checklist or a cheat sheet.
• 10:34
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, I do as many of my checklists as I possibly can in a platform called One Place.
• 10:41
  Kate Woodward Young: And one of the things that I love about that platform is it gives me the opportunity to have all of that in one location.
• 10:49
  Kate Woodward Young: So I can look at everyone I ever did with that employee.
• 10:53
  Kate Woodward Young: And so I can see if there's progression, I can see if there's any change.
• 10:57
  Kate Woodward Young: I can also do it by classroom.
• 10:58
  Kate Woodward Young: And so I could look at every that same conversation with every teacher in a classroom.
• 11:03
  Kate Woodward Young: And so it really gives me that vertical as well as that horizontal look into something like classroom management.
• 11:10
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, and it just makes life really, really easy.
• 11:12
  Kate Woodward Young: So, um, but find what works for you, right?
• 11:15
  Kate Woodward Young: So if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, I love that idea.
• 11:18
  Kate Woodward Young: If you've already got a strategy that works, I'm not saying find a different one.
• 11:22
  Kate Woodward Young: I am saying something other than a post-it note might be helpful.
• 11:25
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, I'm just saying, I mean, I did a lot of post-it notes.
• 11:28
  Kate Woodward Young: I do a lot of things on post-it cut post-it notes and index cards.
• 11:32
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, they they were the they were the way I took it.
• 11:35
  Kate Woodward Young: I love that.
• 11:36
  Kate Woodward Young: So if you aren't watching the video, Brianne just held up an entire like literal stack of a variety of post-it notes, not even just the yellow square.
• 11:46
  Kate Woodward Young: It was it was a a little bit of everything.
• 11:48
  Kate Woodward Young: So um obviously we we have a we have a post-it note bond that we were not expecting.
• 11:53
  Kate Woodward Young: So so Brian, tell me about um owning your own program.
• 11:58
  Kate Woodward Young: You owned a program for a while, but things changed in your life and you looked at it from a different point of view.
• 12:04
  Kate Woodward Young: Tell me a little bit about that.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: My program came to me unexpectedly.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was not something I was prepared to do that year, financially or otherwise, but that's okay.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it literally was handed down to me.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to, I really had to take that chance.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And like, because if I don't, when is somebody ever gonna offer me a preschool for free again?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: It hasn't happened thus far, so I'm guessing never again.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I went home and I talked to my husband, my father, I'm like, she just offered me the school for free.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and they're like, you have to try.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, thank you.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's all the validation I really needed in my head.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: I was already screaming, yes, but I like to be considerate and thoughtful.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: So um I I said sure.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I was excited, but I was also very terrified because I've never owned a preschool before.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just had gotten into my first year of lead teaching when it was offered to me.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um, the woman who I took it over from, I absolutely adore her.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: She, I have her on such a high pedestal.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: We still talk to this day.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: She actually stayed on another year as owner so I could learn my role as director.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: She helped me the best of her ability that she could.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: She tried to show me the ropes and everything else.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: But there were certain things, unfortunately, I had to learn on my own.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she could tell me all she needed, but that's what worked for her.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: I had to find my way of working.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, ooh, wait.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's just pause on that statement.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: Say that again.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Which part about it?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: I have to, that's what worked for her, and I had to find what was what worked for me.
• 13:32
  Kate Woodward Young: You had to find what works for you.
• 13:33
  Kate Woodward Young: And I hope that when people are listening, because that's the teacher in the classroom, right?
• 13:38
  Kate Woodward Young: That's the administrator, that's the owner.
• 13:41
  Kate Woodward Young: So, regardless of what role you have in an early learning, really for that matter, in any business, any job, right?
• 13:48
  Kate Woodward Young: Just know that sometimes you're gonna have to find what works for you.
• 13:51
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, and I think sometimes we forget that.
• 13:53
  Kate Woodward Young: I think we are like, but this is the way it says that we're supposed to do it in the book, or this is the way I was taught.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the the the kiss of death for me is, but this is what we've always done.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't it education is a fluid thing.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing stays the same.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: It can't for the sake of ourselves and our well-being and for the sake of our little learners.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: They cannot remain the same.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: What you did last year, even last week, may not work now.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, certainly what was happening 10 years ago is not gonna work today, you know.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, and I think it's important that we don't get ourselves stuck in that mind frame of, but this is how it's been done.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: But my other teacher did this way.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but your other teacher is not here anymore.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, what are we gonna do now?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: How are we gonna get outside the box to make I think that's also why teachers burn out so quickly, because they try to stick to what they know and what's worked.
• 14:41
  Kate Woodward Young: Well, I think we forget that the kids are different.
• 14:44
  Kate Woodward Young: Every year you have a new group of kids, and over the course of that year, those kids are growing and they're learning and they're learning new things.
• 14:52
  Kate Woodward Young: And that's why we need to be constantly learning new things.
• 14:56
  Kate Woodward Young: So hopefully, if you are listening to this, you're learning something new.
• 15:00
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, if not, there's like 360 other episodes.
• 15:03
  Kate Woodward Young: I'm sure you can learn something new.
• 15:07
  Kate Woodward Young: But we want you to be able to learn what's new in the industry.
• 15:12
  Kate Woodward Young: We want you to learn more about yourself.
• 15:15
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, you know, we've changed.
• 15:17
  Kate Woodward Young: Have you changed a little bit in, you know, since you got into the field?
• 15:20
  Kate Woodward Young: 13%.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: My goodness.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's a huge difference.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: My lordy, like, no, I could only recognize who I was back then.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you, I didn't recognize who I was two years ago because I am in such a drastically different place.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I am very different of who I am as a professional and in my personal life, and nothing wrong with that.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's hard being in that cocoon area, like where you're you're not quite the butterfly yet, but you're you're not a caterpillar anymore.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: But where am I?
• 15:48
  Kate Woodward Young: You're in a chrysalis, you're a little crunchy on the outside, a little squishy in the middle.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to nap all the time, which is very true on many aspects for sure.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely a little squishy on the middle.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, that's all right.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's all right.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: That makes for better hugs.
• 16:04
  Kate Woodward Young: Love that.
• 16:05
  Kate Woodward Young: Yes, I think my cats are trying to figure it out right now because I'm I'm not as squishy as I was a couple years ago.
• 16:11
  Kate Woodward Young: And and so I I I'm not the same person to cuddle on.
• 16:15
  Kate Woodward Young: So that's right.
• 16:16
  Kate Woodward Young: The better person to cuddle on now.
• 16:18
  Kate Woodward Young: There you go.
• 16:18
  Kate Woodward Young: That's a total squirrel.
• 16:19
  Kate Woodward Young: That had absolutely nothing to do with that.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: We have that conversation another day, for sure, for sure.
• 16:26
  Kate Woodward Young: So, Brienne, one of the things that I really found inspiring when listening to you talk in a training that we did together was you talking about the ability to let go and recognize that, well, maybe not everything we have had planned is going to work out exactly like we did.
• 16:44
  Kate Woodward Young: So, so tell us in in kind of a nugget a little bit about what that story is, if you can.
• 16:49
  Kate Woodward Young: And um kind of maybe what everybody who's listening can get out of that.
• 16:55
  Kate Woodward Young: Because I thought it was very inspirational.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I think it was one of the hardest things of my life of deciding to shut down my preschool because that was my dream.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, how am I throwing my dream away?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, my mental health had really taken a toll due to many different factors.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I've never owned a business before, so a lot of learning had gone on along the way.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And by the time the end of the came around, I was already checked out.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: I really was.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't showing up as much or at all.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't fair to my staff.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you could see the difference in that for me not being there and me not being as involved I was.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not fair to them.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then further, it wasn't fair to the kids because now they're getting half the teacher that they used to because of how I'm behaving.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it really took a lot.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I was also contemplating, like I told you, like, you know, maybe I'll just have somebody else run it.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: But then I still have a responsibility.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now I gotta train that person.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now I it's still my staff, it's still my name on the building, it's still my families and my kids.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just not about that life at that moment.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, after talking to many people, they were like, it's not a failure.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: I had to hear that a couple times before I finally let that kind of sink in.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't a failure.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: It would have been a failure to me if I would have kept it open for the wrong reasons because I would have failed everybody in that building, and that would not have been okay.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then I also took a step back and I'm like, okay, well, the universe is trying to tell me something.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a big portion of it is this is not where I'm meant to be anymore.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I I talk about doors and locks and keys a lot lately, but it's because it really fits, literally.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: But um those keys for that door to the school were no longer mine.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: The second I checked out, it was no longer mine.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to make that difficult choice, but at the end of the day, I handed the school down to somebody who took over and is now making their program thrive there.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it's better for everybody involved, but it was very hard to accept.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: I remember my last day after I closed everything up, so quiet, and I still hear the creaks of the floor.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: I can I could I can see I place my eyes closed though, you know.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I remember I walked out to my car and I sat in my car for 30 minutes just crying.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: It was a cry of sadness, relief, and I can't believe I just did that.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Something I worked and wanted so much in life, I just left.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's okay.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember I came home and I said to my husband, I'm see, I'm sick of seeing all my post-it notes of ideas I have, things I want to achieve, goals I want to reach.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're just sitting on post-it notes.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't want to see it anymore.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I decided to go ahead and start living my dream while also starting my doctorate degree.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to tell you, doing both at the same time, difficult, but very helpful because of the people you're meeting, and I'm doing it through Johns Hopkins, so people internally, and then we have people international and hearing what they're dealing with, what they're looking at.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been a very inspiring and frustrating process as well.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: But it's really helped me to know where I want to be, and it's helped me to grow in that direction of it's okay if something doesn't work.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: I gave it my all, and that's all I could have done.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think it's important to anybody listening to know that when deciding to leave a program, leave the field, leave wherever you're leaving, we have to do what's best for us, especially for our mental health.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And speaking from somebody who was in a bad place mentally in those moments, it's not worth it at the end of the day.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: No amount of money, no matter how many children you love, and you check out, and that's it.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Staff, your your admin's gonna start seeing it, leadership's gonna start seeing it, the families are gonna start seeing it, and that's when real problems are gonna occur.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, so when you're ready, if it's something that you're truly feeling this is not for me anymore, it doesn't mean you're giving up.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: It means you're gonna be going into your catalyst and you're gonna be trying to figure out who you are now, where you wanna be.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And there's nothing wrong with that.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: I've always said to my staff, I would rather be short staffed than have people here who don't want to be here.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that applies to any position, including myself.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so if you're not feeling it, if your heart is not there, you're checked out, and you literally have to drag yourself out of bed every morning, it's time to have that difficult conversation with yourself for sure.
• 21:30
  Kate Woodward Young: Absolutely.
• 21:31
  Kate Woodward Young: Well, that is one of the things, two reasons, two things there.
• 21:35
  Kate Woodward Young: One, make sure you get an exit strategy.
• 21:37
  Kate Woodward Young: And I don't care if that exit is just an exit from where you currently are, but not leaving the industry.
• 21:42
  Kate Woodward Young: Not everybody is gonna leave the industry and go into a completely different field or a completely different role in life.
• 21:49
  Kate Woodward Young: Uh, we actually did an episode about a month ago with Erica Sicoshio where Erica talked about sometimes it's opening a new chapter.
• 21:58
  Kate Woodward Young: It's the same book, it's just a different.
• 22:00
  Kate Woodward Young: Chapter.
• 22:01
  Kate Woodward Young: And if you have a passion for early learning or for children, you may find yourself becoming the grandmother whisperer, or you may find yourself really wanting to do more in a special age group or with parents or with teachers or administrators.
• 22:18
  Kate Woodward Young: And so, you know, figure out what's going to work for you and, you know, take time this week to actually think about some of that so that you're not finding yourself in that oh beep, you know, kind of situation where it wasn't expected and it was definitely not on your to-do list, but it had to happen because, well, just life got in the way.
• 22:42
  Kate Woodward Young: So, um, and absolutely please, please, please remember that regardless of how your life changes, it is never a bad thing.
• 22:51
  Kate Woodward Young: Always a reason that it happens, right?
• 22:54
  Kate Woodward Young: So get those keys out, go unlock some more doors because we know that if you are listening to this and you even had an ounce of click, like you're like you're listening to Brianne's story and you're going, ooh, that sounds a little bit like mine.
• 23:09
  Kate Woodward Young: Um, right now, make sure you go stop, pause, figure out it's gonna be better for everybody, your parents, the kids in your program.
• 23:18
  Kate Woodward Young: If you're in leadership for your staff, and you know, the list goes on.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: So get those post-it notes out, guys.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Start making your pros and cons lists on them.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big help.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big help for sure.
• 23:29
  Kate Woodward Young: If you have to put put put a thought on each one and move them around because you're gonna definitely have some that are gonna fit right dead smack in the middle.
• 23:36
  Kate Woodward Young: It's a pro and it's a con.
• 23:38
  Kate Woodward Young: Maybe you need to write it twice.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh also I think it's my one last thing for this cut part of the conversation.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's important too that regardless of your position, if you're considering leaving, maybe you need to stop and ask, why am I leaving?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then can I advocate for myself to get what I want if I ask for it?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I it's never it's never easy to have those conversations, especially if you feel like the door is not open, if you will.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, again, we have to find our own key.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: We got to push that door open.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: And we just have to have that conversation and take the chance of, hey, I'm not happy here.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not getting support, or I don't feel like I'm treated as a professional.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: My voice isn't heard.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever your reason is, try to advocate for yourself.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes you'd be surprised of they the leaders and admins might actually not understand what's going on that you're feeling this way.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to have those conversations.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: So Kate came to me and said, Hey, Brianne, I'm thinking about leaving because I don't feel happy here because I don't feel supported.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, me person, I'm like, oh my gosh, like, first of all, hold on, I'm so sorry.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: What don't you feel supported by?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, can you just break it down for me?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we're gonna have that conversation because I don't want to lose you.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: You're one of my top teachers.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: We are not letting you go that easily, you know.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: But and if you have that conversation and you're not getting what you wanted or they're telling you you're overreacting, then yes, highly consider finding a program who values you, loves you, and willing to work with you on what you need help on.
• 25:05
  Kate Woodward Young: Absolutely.
• 25:05
  Kate Woodward Young: Oh, what great advice, Brianne.
• 25:08
  Kate Woodward Young: Thank you so much for joining us today's conversation.
• 25:11
  Kate Woodward Young: If you are listening to this and maybe this is the first time you've listened to an episode, go to childcareconversations.com and select the newsletter button up at the top and follow uh sign up for the newsletter.
• 25:22
  Kate Woodward Young: We drop a newsletter twice a week with every podcast episode.
• 25:26
  Kate Woodward Young: And thank you so much for joining us, and we will see you in a few days.
• 25:31
  Kate Woodward Young: Bye guys.
• 25:35
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