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Transcript

I love Juice! · 12 Minutes of Nonsense

0:01
SPEAKER_00: What up, y'all?
0:02
SPEAKER_00: This is another episode of 12 Minutes of Nonsense.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: I am Nathan, and this is all nonsense.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: As always, I ain't talking about shit.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: I ain't talking about a goddamn thing, okay?
0:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about nothing.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about nonsense.
0:19
SPEAKER_00: It's probably gonna be more than 12 minutes because well fucking because, okay?
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Just because.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's more than 12 minutes, sometimes it's like 20 minutes, sometimes it's like five minutes.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: It's whatever.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: It's 12, but it but it's always 12 minutes of nonsense, is what the name of the show is.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: Hey, let me ask you a question.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, if you one of them people that believes that life begins at conception, uh does that mean that you are technically because I feel like that means that a lot of people are technically from uh the third stall at the Vermont Greyhound station, you know what I mean?
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Like, because not everybody was conceived in a bed, not everybody was conceived in a loving and uh wholehearted manner.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Some people were conceived like at a Metallica concert.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, so so if you believe that life begins at concert, here's the thing.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Nah, I think that life begins at memory.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's what I think.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: I think that life begins at memory.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Because I know people who can remember their first, their their first like breath of fresh air.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And and that's really that's really not all of us, which I think is cool because I don't want to remember what placenta tasted like.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: Like that's not that's not something that I don't ever want to think that I was like, man, damn, man, when I was born, I remember I came out, and the first thing I like I don't ever want to be like, you know, you know what placenta tastes like?
1:59
SPEAKER_00: It tastes like seven-day-old tuna fish.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't ever want to know what it tastes like because I can remember it.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
2:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't ever want to remember what the fuck that shit tastes like.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: Cause because I don't know if you ever seen a like a live birth, but it looked nasty as hell.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: It like like nothing edible is what I'm trying to say.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: Like nothing edible was there.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Also, like I feel like when you are born is when you are the ugliest version of yourself.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, newborn babies is ugly as fuck.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Okay, they are the you will never be as I don't care how ugly you are when you get 26, you will never be as ugly as you are when you were first born.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: You're covered in snot, blood, and shit, okay?
2:47
SPEAKER_00: All types of fluids and shit.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: You're hacking up shit.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: You don't smell good, you butt booty asshole naked, you got shit coming out of your eyes, you're coughing up nastiness, you're pooping out nastiness, you're pissing out nastiness.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: Everybody in the room stank.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: You stink so much that people gotta wear masks to hide the funk.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: You ain't got no kneecaps, you ain't got no elbow joints, your head is soft as fuck.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: Motherfucker, you are the ugliest.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: You what you ain't got no teeth?
3:19
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
3:20
SPEAKER_00: You might have hair, but even if you got hair, your shit patchy and shit.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: Or big, like, do you have fingernails?
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Are babies born with fingernails?
3:29
SPEAKER_00: Do babies have fingernails and finger toes?
3:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, not finger toes, toenails.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: It's toenails, right?
3:35
SPEAKER_00: Do babies have toenails and fingernails?
3:37
SPEAKER_00: That's something that I ain't never I ain't never even really thought about that.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: Because that's something that like you wouldn't think that because the reason that you don't even think that is because that is the babies is ugly.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: People who talk about like, oh, babies is beautiful.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: No, babies is ugly as shit.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: Six months into the baby being a baby is white, right where they start to become like, oh, your baby's a cute baby, or your baby's a you know, a not cute baby.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: But a newborn baby ugly and a motherfucker, I ain't never seen.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm just glad that it's alive.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
4:11
SPEAKER_00: Like you, you just glad, like, like look, I'm not trying to be mean to nobody, but if your baby came out, you don't know if it has Down syndrome immediately.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Because they they look so redunculous.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: They they are they are they are fucking mutants, okay?
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Babies are mutants until six months.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: So if you ask that your baby is the cutest baby in the world, I'ma just tell you that you a damn lie.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: You that's all, as the kids say, that's all cap, okay?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: That is all cap.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Ugly ass baby having ass motherfuckers is nah, man.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: You can't do that.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: It's the the ugliest that you will ever be.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: What I'm trying to say is the ugliest that you ever gonna be is right when you born.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: So I don't want to remember that.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
5:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, because like that's when the people are gonna be.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: It's also when you remember the least.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: So that means that people are gonna say the most raggedy shit about you.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: When you come out, think about like, like I remember, I remember I was at my homegirl's birth of her like third kid and shit.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: And like I didn't say, oh my, like when he when when he when he's when he spilled up out, I didn't say like, oh my god, look at him.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: He's so beautiful.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: I I said like like that's what that was my actual vocalization of what was like that motherfucker looked nasty.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: He looked like he looked like he looked like a big ass loogie.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Like a big ass loogie is what the fuck he looked like.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: And then like just the way that the doctor grabbed his ass and like just held him upside, like he just held him and then like smacked his ass to make him cry, like to make sure that it was like a real ass baby.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: None of it, it was all, it was all, it was too clinical, and it was ugly.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: And then they like, you want to hold it?
6:00
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, No, that's your shit.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: You hold you hold that motherfucker, that's not for me.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: But what I'm trying to say is that uh life begins at life, okay?
6:11
SPEAKER_00: I feel like life begins when you look alive, okay?
6:15
SPEAKER_00: And and life begins when babies start kicking, okay?
6:20
SPEAKER_00: When it starts looking like that bitch can be alive up in you.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: When I when I can start seeing that that bitch alive up in you, that's when that's that's when that motherfucker alive to me.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: God damn, I'm glad by man, because that's nah, man.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Nah, man.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: I ain't I'm glad I can't have babies.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: I wish I could, but I'm glad I can't.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm I wish I could, but I'm glad I can't.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: And that's just me.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: That's just me.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: But uh, I don't know really like, you know, babies is ugly as fuck until six months.
6:47
SPEAKER_00: And then some babies is ugly as fuck after six months, but babies is ugly as fuck until six months.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
6:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, no baby is a cute baby on the day of their birth.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: Not one single baby.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you talking about fucking, what's that?
7:02
SPEAKER_00: What's that?
7:02
SPEAKER_00: What's what's the bald headed chick from Black Panther?
7:04
SPEAKER_00: She finding the motherfucker.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Ugliest motherfucking newborn in the whole goddamn planet.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, what what's what's what who everybody like right now?
7:15
SPEAKER_00: What's the what's that chick name?
7:16
SPEAKER_00: What's oh what's her name?
7:18
SPEAKER_00: Did she did the commercial with the with the shit with the the the the the American Eagle commercial?
7:23
SPEAKER_00: She got like got big old breasts or something like that.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember her fucking name.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: Ugliest motherfucking ball of goo in the whole goddamn world.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Sydney Sweeney.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm that's her name.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Sydney Sweeney was the was a was a loogie.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: She was a loogie.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: She was a spit dookie, blood-covered loogie when she was born, and she was ugly as fuck for the first six months of her life.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
7:50
SPEAKER_00: So just remember that.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, you ever have like I have a lot of responsible, irresponsible friends.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Anybody else like those are my favorite people.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: My my responsible, irresponsible ass friends.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: Like I had to, one of my best friends in the world, I had to convince him to not buy a limousine one time.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Like, and here's the thing I wasn't saying, hey, he don't, he don't, he I'm he's not rich.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I want to make that very clear.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm like, I had to convince him to not buy a limousine as his daily driver.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's what I had to do.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: I had to convince him to not buy a limo as his daily driver because he was about to buy a limo.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not talking about like no good ass limo, okay?
8:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about a like a limo that you you know when you see a car at the gas station just in the parking lot and it's just got a note on it that says call this number 2600.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's what that's the thing.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: It was just a limo on the side of the road, and he was like, I'm gonna buy this motherfucking limo, nigga.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Don't don't buy that limo, bruh.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: No, like you don't need the you you he like, nah man, but it'd be dope if I had a limo and I was like, you can't park it.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: He's not thinking about this shit.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: He's like, but but like, but it's a limo though, but I'm gonna have a limo.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I had to convince him not to buy a limo.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: That kind of pissed me the fuck off because in my like I also understand why he wanna buy this limo.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: Because it would be dope as fuck if he had this limo.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: But I know that he don't need to buy no limo right now.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: Now understand, it's right now.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: At a certain point, he do need a limo.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: And some of y'all thinking, oh, it would be dope to have a limo.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it would be dope to have a limo some days, but it'd also be dope not to have a limo most days.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
9:39
SPEAKER_00: And like he he he gonna buy he's gonna buy this limo and then regret it.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want him to regret it because I don't want him to not buy a limo when it's time to buy a limo.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
9:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, because once he gets to a certain point, I want him to buy the limo.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: It's still gonna be a ridiculous purchase, but he can afford the ridiculousness of the purchase at a certain point.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
10:06
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't telling him never to buy that limo.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: I was saying don't buy that limo right now.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: You don't have the ability and the fundage to make this ridiculous purchase, it's most ridiculous self.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And and that's what I mean by a responsible, irresponsible ass motherfucker.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Like this isn't this isn't a dude that I ever have to worry about um like like robbing a bank.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: But I do have to worry about him stealing, you know, like a big ass thing of dog food out of the back of somebody's truck, not because he's trying to ruin somebody's day, but just because he's like, yo, what would happen if we took this big ass bag of dog food and just put it all over the beach and see what happened the next day?
10:57
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, just like so he's not trying to hurt nobody, he just wants to run experiments with life that would be inconvenient to everybody.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, I I like there's part of me that does want to see what would happen if I dove into a pool full of jello.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
11:17
SPEAKER_00: But that means I gotta fill a pool with Jell-O.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: I don't have a pool, so that means I gotta fill somebody else's pool full of jello.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Nobody's gonna let you do that.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna have to, without the knowledge of somebody, fill their pool with Jell-O.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
11:33
SPEAKER_00: So that's what I mean by irresponsible, responsible ass motherfuckers.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: And those are the those are my favorite type of people.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Those are my favorite type of friends.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, like uh, like I wanna, like, uh, what's the what's that, what's that roller coaster?
11:47
SPEAKER_00: The what's the one?
11:49
SPEAKER_00: There's one, it's not the Superman at night, like it, it's a it's one of the ones that goes like it's one of the ones that look like a superman.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: It goes from like zero to like a hundred miles an hour, like real fast and shit like that.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: Um like would it like I would I've always wanted to like test the theory of that weightless feeling that you get.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, you can go up there and you can have a like a little tennis ball and stuff, and you can like hold it at a certain weight at a certain point, and it'll just kind of float in the air.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: But I want to see what happens when you do that with a bowling ball, you know what I mean?
12:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I know that that's not gonna end well for anybody, but I still want to see it happen.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Like, basically, like that friend that wants to be like, he wants to do Mythbusters myths, but like in everyday, like on the regular, like the everyday stuff.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: And so I don't know, like the responsible, irresponsible ass motherfuckers is my favorite type of people.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: Like, I have a friend that I have I have he he like yo, he he he always hooks me up.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, he always hooks me up with with comedy shows and stuff like that, but we have also run out of gas six or seven times.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: I've run every like six or seven times he has run out of gas on the freeway when we drive in places, and he's not poor.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: He not poor.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: His gas gave do work.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: He just forgets to put gas in the motherfucker, and then we we in a motherfucking in and out parking lot out of gas.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: We run one time we ran out of gas on the freeway underneath a bridge, and he had to hop the fence and run down the freeway like a mile to a gas station, and I'm just sitting there, and the cops came by and they was like, What you doing?
13:37
SPEAKER_00: And we like, yeah, we ran out of gas, and they like ah shit.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: And then like you think you have to think about shit, like, oh damn, he didn't have no gas can in there, so you had to buy the gas can.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: It's like three in the morning.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: We figured it out.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: And then one time we we got caught in uh in a parking garage um because we wasn't paying attention to what time the parking garage closed, and we was trying to get to a show, and and then and then we was caught in there after they closed, and then we we just opened the gate because like nobody was there, so we just opened the gate.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: And the alarm did go off, but like we made it home, you know what I'm saying?
14:18
SPEAKER_00: So like irresponsible, responsible ass motherfuckers.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Because you know, some people wouldn't have would have just been like, oh, well, I guess we stuck.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Nah, but we had to get home though.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: So we just opened the gate.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Y'all can open those gates.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: They have emergencies, though.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: They can't like lock them, lock them.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: And if they do lock them, lock them, that's a lawsuit.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, now we probably should have been.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, don't get me wrong.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: This is, you know, we we we might have been ticketed, but you know, at the same time at that point, we were both couch surfing, so they just didn't know where to find them.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: I probably have a a warrant for me out in some state because I got this ticket one time and I never paid that ticket.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna say the state because I think I still might actually have that ticket out there somewhere.
15:01
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm also the responsible, irresponsible ass motherfucking friend.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
15:06
SPEAKER_00: I fell asleep on train tracks two times in my life.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: But that was alcohol.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: That was that was alcohol.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: Y'all shouldn't be drinking.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: Don't drink.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: Because it make you do dumb ass shit.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: Or or or it make you think that doing dumb ass shit is smart.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: I did fall asleep on them train tracks though.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: But to be fair, I only fell asleep on the train tracks because I did, because the homie fell asleep on the train tracks and I didn't want to leave him.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: And since I was drunk, my first thought wasn't to, you know, just move him off the train tracks.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: It was to fall asleep on the train tracks with him.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: But you know, that's love though.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: That's love.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: That was my homie right there.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: But he was also a heavier sleeper than me.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: So maybe he wouldn't have woke up.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: There was an active train tracks, too.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Like it was trains that was going through it.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Luckily, it was at night when we fell asleep on the train tracks, so I don't think no trains was coming.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not even gonna try and act like we woke up right before the train.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: No, it wasn't like that.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: We woke up and there wasn't no trains coming.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: We did realize that we was falling asleep on some train tracks, though, and that wasn't good.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Uh to be fair, we didn't even talk about it until like like years later when we was like, hey, remember we had fell asleep on the train tracks?
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was bad.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: We shouldn't have, we shouldn't have fallen asleep on them train tracks.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: But that was, I mean, like one of those nights, we also, you know, he almost lit his hand on fire because he was trying to take a shot of 151, but he had been lit on fire, and he didn't, he he he forgot to blow out the fire before he before he blew out the he just tried to drink it.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: He almost lit him whole self on fire and shit like that.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm really glad sometimes that TikTok and Instagram and stuff were not like a thing when I was growing up because I'd be in jail, y'all.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: I'd be in jail.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: I'd be in jail for the raggedy shit that I did and uh and and got recorded.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: I've I've already been recorded doing some raggedy.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: But uh luckily I hurt myself enough that it detoured me from doing a lot of the raggedy shit now.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I like people like, oh, why don't you do the remember back in the day when they would like back in a couple years ago, they was doing um that thing where everybody was walking on crates and they were seeing how far, like how far that they could get walking on crates, and then it was with that one mean the dude came down.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: Like that was one of the funniest shits that I ever seen.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: We did stupid ass shit like that.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: We just didn't get filmed doing it.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so like but now, but that like if you if you are you if you are in your 20s, go ask your dad or go ask your mom what a tennis ball bomb is.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, and they're gonna they're gonna laugh and then they're not gonna tell you because they know how to make that shit.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Like they know how to make that shit.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: Don't don't ask them what that is.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: Don't don't ask because like I'm telling y'all, we did dumb ass shit too.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Don't let your pay, I'm gonna tell you, don't let your parents tell you that they never did no dumb shit.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
18:10
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing when they say don't do that, and then when you ask them why, and they say because don't let them off the hook.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: Keep asking them, because why?
18:20
SPEAKER_00: Because because I when I was a kid, make them tell you the story, okay?
18:24
SPEAKER_00: There's a story.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: You make them tell you the damn story.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: Don't don't let them off.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: Some of y'all be letting them off.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Because I said to them, no, no, no.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: Push, push hard, don't let them off.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: Let them tell you the story, okay?
18:39
SPEAKER_00: Make them tell you that.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: Tell them that they was an ugly ass baby, and maybe they tell you the story.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Make them tell you that motherfucker.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: I love juice.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Y'all like juice?
18:52
SPEAKER_00: I love juice.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: Juice is my favorite drink.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's my favorite thing to drink.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, like water sometimes hits differently, and fucking like like soda sometimes really hits hard.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: And I like drink too.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: Like, I like I love drink.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: Like green drink and red and purple drink.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, red drink dope, but purple drink?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Nick.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, that should be fire.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: But juice, motherfucker?
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Motherfucking juice?
19:25
SPEAKER_00: Damn it, I love juice.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Grape juice, orange juice, apple juice.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I consider lemonade juice.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: But I don't, it's not a drink neither.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: What the fuck is lemonade?
19:43
SPEAKER_00: What would you categorize lemonade as?
19:47
SPEAKER_00: Because like, like, like lemonade, like there was first there was lemonade and then there was limeade and all that other shit.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: But like, what is lemonade?
19:54
SPEAKER_00: Because it is juice.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: But you add, like, I don't, I would, you know what?
20:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say this, and I don't know if people gonna like this.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: I would consider lemonade a juice.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
20:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, cause I know that you add sugar to it, but that's what makes it good, is the sugar part of it.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: It's the juice of it.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
20:19
SPEAKER_00: Like, just sugar water is nasty than a motherfucker.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: But you add the lemon in there and now it's juice.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying?
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, apple juice is dope as fuck.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: If you take the apple out of the juice, it's just sugar water, and that's not good.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
20:35
SPEAKER_00: But apple juice, orange juice, like the only juice that I don't like is like tomato juice.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, that's not good.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't want tomato juice.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: I want pineapple juice, fucking watermelon juice, kiwi juice.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Juice is my favorite thing in the in the in the world.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: When I'm like when you when you get some good ass juice, it it takes you back to a happy time.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: And maybe, maybe, like, I'm not even saying like it takes you back to your childhood, maybe your childhood was sucked or whatever, but it takes you back to a time where you were happy.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: Nobody like if you if you get triggered by juice into an if like drinking, if you drink a juice that you like, if you if I drank orange juice and it took me back to like the day I got jumped by like nine people or some shit, I'd be mad as fuck.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Like that's stupid.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: It takes me back to sunny days and shit.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: To gloriousness.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: I fucking love juice.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: I love juice so much it makes me mad.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: I love I love juice so much I don't even drink that shit that like that.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I can't, because I would just drink juice.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: I would just always love to drink juice, but I can't because it's got too much goddamn sugar in it, and blood pressure already high as fuck.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: But I just love juice, and it and no one's ever given me enough juice.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Like no, no restaurant, no fast food place, no establishment, not even like a person whose house I'm at has ever given me enough juice.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: I've always wanted more juice, I just don't drink more juice.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying?
22:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, I want more juice, I just don't drink more juice because I could, because I can't drink all your juice.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna drink all your juice.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: That's disrespectful as fuck to drink all somebody's juice.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
22:33
SPEAKER_00: But but like McDonald's, they don't give you the big enough juice.
22:36
SPEAKER_00: So somebody that gives me like I you here's how much I like juice.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: I'll take bottomless mimosas just because it's got juice.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: Fuck, I like juice.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, uh it's been it's been over 12 minutes, and I've been talking some nonsense.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: So that's me.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, follow me on everything, man.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: Come to my shows.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I got some shows in San Diego, I got some shows in Bellflower, and I got some shows in Canada coming up.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: Go to my website, NathanHurdcomedy.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
23:14
SPEAKER_00: Follow me on Twitter and Blue Sky and motherfucking TikTok, Instagram, all that.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: And uh I'll catch y'all on the flip flop, man.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: I fucking love juice.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: Fuck.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: If you love them, hug them for six seconds or more, high five, everybody, y'all.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: I I'll holler at y'all next time, man.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: This has been 12 minutes of nonsense.