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274 - The Truth About Deconditioning & Human Design · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

• 0:01
  Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
• 0:05
  helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
• 0:09
  flow without sacrificing results.
• 0:11
  Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
• 0:15
  according to your human design.
• 0:17
  I'm your host, Nicole
• 0:18
  Laino.
• 0:22
  Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone.
• 0:25
  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
• 0:27
  And today I want to talk to you guys about conditioning.
• 0:32
  And I want to bust some myths and I want to get to the truth around conditioning.
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  Because it is a core concept to understand if you're really
• 0:43
  taking human design seriously.
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  But I think people can get caught in, I'm conditioned, like you're stuck in it.
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  Like I'm always going to be that way, and that's just not the truth.
• 0:54
  So I want to unwind some of this stuff.
• 0:56
  I know that a lot of people think that open, white in your chart
• 1:01
  can tend to mean that you are more conditioned, or have the possibility
• 1:05
  to be more conditioned in that space.
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  And it's true, you're susceptible to different things, but hard and fast
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  rules like that I think end up usually causing distortion in the way that
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  we understand anything when we're looking at anything as black or white.
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  Because, human design is full of grey.
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  Even though it's a binary of this and that, there's still a lot of grey area
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  and understanding, and there's so much of looking at the totality of the chart,
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  rather than just looking at the one thing.
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  Reflectors, for example.
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  People look at reflectors, and they see all that white on the chart,
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  and they're like, oh, poor things.
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  They must be so conditioned.
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  They must be so susceptible to it.
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  And the truth is that Reflectors are super resilient to
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  conditioning on a one to one basis.
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  They're conditioned in a different way.
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  And it's not really conditioning that they are experiencing, it's different.
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  They kind of become their environment.
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  And it's about bringing their awareness to why they feel the way they feel.
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  Rather than thinking that everywhere they go, they're going to be conditioned
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  by the other, or they're always going to be weaker than their partners.
• 2:12
  Absolutely doesn't have to be the truth.
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  Every person is individual.
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  Every situation is individual.
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  This does not have to be the truth and is not the truth for most reflectors and
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  for a lot of projectors, the same thing.
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  There's a different way of looking at this.
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  It's not just white equals bad, white equals weak, white equals conditioned.
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  And that's a core concept I want to break down.
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  So in this episode, what I'm going to do is I'm going to break down kind of
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  the two core concepts that are important to understand when you're looking at
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  conditioning or when you're trying to understand conditioning and how
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  it works in the human design chart.
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  We're going to demystify the deconditioning process, which I
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  think a lot of people are like, I'm conditioned, now what do I do?
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  How do I fix it?
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  And there's very little in the human design world that tells you about the
• 3:00
  deconditioning process, other than the fact that it supposedly takes seven years,
• 3:04
  and we'll talk a little bit about that.
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  And then the last thing I'm gonna really talk about is what authenticity
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  really is, and how human design is the map to your authenticity.
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  And your authenticity is gonna be different than every single
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  other person's on the planet.
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  Because your chart is different than every single person's on the planet.
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  You are not like everybody else.
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  And I think the design chart shows us that even charts that look really,
• 3:36
  really similar, I know a lot of people who have the same centers as me defined.
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  But they're very different than me.
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  They might have all the same centers, but they might be a generator
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  and I'm a manifesting generator.
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  We might both be manifesting generators with the same centers, but we have
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  very different gates, our open centers are configured differently, and we
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  have different gates and channels that connect those centers and that
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  are activated in all of the centers.
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  All of that matters.
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  Profile matters.
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  A 1/3 manifesting generator is going to be very different than a 6/2.
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  Because it's a different design.
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  It's a different expression.
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  Their role is different in this life.
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  1/3's are here to do something very different than a 6/2 is.
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  The purpose is different.
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  So we're going to break all of those things down today, and that's what
• 4:27
  this episode is going to be about.
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  I want you to have a great understanding of what conditioning really is.
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  And how you can use your chart to live truly as the most
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  authentic version of yourself.
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  And we'll talk about what authenticity really is.
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  So let's talk about those two core concepts, okay?
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  Those two core concepts of conditioning, I think, come down
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  to susceptibility and authenticity.
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  These are the two pieces, because the definition in your chart
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  tells you what's true for you.
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  And then the susceptibility part, that openness.
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  What are you most susceptible to?
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  When we know the dark and the light, the high and the low of each of
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  the places, each of the centers, each of the gates, when we start
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  to understand what those are.
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  So for me, knowing that my root is open, I know what the high expression
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  and the low expression of that is.
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  I know how it operates.
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  I know how it operates in me.
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  Then I become aware of the way it's operating in my life, and then I can start
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  to have some sort of control over it.
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  Now it's true, the white spaces in our chart, we tend to have
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  less control over naturally.
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  Depends on the way that you grew up.
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  Again, like I said at the beginning, every individual person is different,
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  but in general terms, most people in the open space, that tends to be where
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  it can be a little chaotic, it can be a little disoriented or out of control.
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  It might be the place where we feel like we swing from one end
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  of the spectrum to the other.
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  Because it's not consistent for us.
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  And the white space does tell us where we are susceptible.
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  Where can we be easily influenced by the outside world?
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  Where have you been influenced already?
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  Because that's really what we're trying to do.
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  If you are a grown person, who has lived a pretty full life up until now, you have
• 6:29
  certainly been conditioned in some way.
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  It does not necessarily mean that it's all in the white spaces.
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  It might be in your definition where you are unhealthy.
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  That would have just come from probably a different place.
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  And what that then becomes is something that's very consistently
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  pulling you off your path.
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  But there's different types of susceptibility.
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  When we start to understand what the difference is between the not self
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  and the condition side of openness.
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  So my undefined root, knowing that the not self of that is going to
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  say, I've got to get this done now just so I can relieve the pressure.
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  That's a different relationship than somebody who has a defined
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  root and we're trying to figure out if it is healthy or unhealthy.
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  But the white space does tell us where we are most susceptible to
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  being influenced by other people.
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  The defined stuff that's unhealthy, that's going to be more, we have
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  an unhealthy, low expression of something where it's a different
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  process that we're going through.
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  It's something that we internally probably have identified with.
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  And that has become more of a structured habit within ourselves
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  where that has been our fixed way of operating in a low expression.
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  Openness is different.
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  It's going to be more, we are easily moved by the outside world.
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  It's different.
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  So what are we susceptible to?
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  But now that kind of brings me down to the next point that I wanted to make, which is
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  what authenticity really is and how human design is that map to your authenticity.
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  Well, knowing what's open in your chart and knowing what's defined
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  in your chart starts to tell you what's authentic for you.
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  Because many of us don't know.
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  What is authentically you?
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  Who is the authentic version of you?
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  And I think that so many people are gravitating toward this system, and
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  to lots of other things as well, the Enneagram and the other personality
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  tests, but I think particularly human design strikes this really truthful
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  cord in a lot of us where we're like, there's something here for us.
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  I think the reason for that is that a lot of people feel down deep that
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  they aren't being true to themselves.
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  That they aren't being fully authentic.
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  And they're looking for the map to find, who am I?
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  What am I really here to do?
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  Because I don't think it's what my life has been up till this point.
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  I don't think I'm living up to that potential.
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  And what I think we can get confused with a little bit is that we think
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  that the potential means achieving more And while that may be a byproduct
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  of authenticity, of living aligned, that is not the deciding factor
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  of whether we are aligned or not.
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  We think we're in pursuit of achieving more, but really what I think a
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  lot of people are looking for is, who am I and what am I here to do?
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  And then how can I turn that into something that I do all the time so that
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  I feel authentic to me all the time.
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  So that question of who am I, what is authentically me?
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  The truth is that many of us don't know.
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  Many of us don't know because who you have been up until this point, how you
• 9:54
  have operated, the things you've done, what has been authentic to the way you've
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  been, who you've acted like out in the world, may not be authentic to your
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  purpose and authentic to who you are meant to be, who you were born to be.
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  And that's what human design shows us.
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  What was I born to be a lot of?
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  What was I born to receive?
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  How am I supposed to be susceptible or receptive to things?
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  What am I meant to be receptive to?
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  So that's what's helpful in understanding susceptibility is receptivity.
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  Definition is transmitting.
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  Knowing what we're here to put out and what we're here to pull in.
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  What are we here to be wise about the other?
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  What are we here to put out in the world?
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  What are our lessons?
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  The lessons that other people are going to teach us?
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  The lessons that are about ourselves?
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  That is how we start to get through our conditioning and start to
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  teach us who we are here to be.
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  Unraveling it if you're a grown adult, if you're a kid, we hope to avoid
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  a lot of the conditioning and get those kids to be operating exactly as
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  themselves for as much of their life as possible so they don't have to go
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  through the deconditioning process that us grown people are going through now.
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  So that brings us to deconditioning.
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  Deconditioning is the process of unwinding all of this.
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  Who am I authentically meant to be?
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  Who am I really?
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  Because I will say this, before my deconditioning journey, while I was at my
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  core the same person, I think I operated like me, I feel like the essence of who
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  I am was always there, but I was doing things and trying to make things happen.
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  And dealing with things in ways that were not in alignment with who I
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  am meant to be and the purpose that I'm here to fulfill in this world.
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  So, it never felt right.
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  I'm a different person now, having gone through my deconditioning journey.
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  Why?
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  I'm no longer operating from my trauma.
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  I am no longer operating out of my wounds.
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  I am no longer being pulled off course by either trying to keep myself safe,
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  or being afraid of what lies ahead, or feeling like it has to be some other way
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  because the outside world told me that.
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  I can follow what truly feels right to me.
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  So the deconditioning journey is the process of unraveling who
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  we've always been and reconciling it with who we were born to be.
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  And then we start to operate according to our design.
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  So this is how you can start to bring it together.
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  It's about, like I said, unwinding and unraveling.
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  How have I been pulled off course?
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  Well, we need to know what the course has been.
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  That's what the chart is.
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  The chart is what was the path?
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  What was the map that we were meant to be following all along that maybe
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  we forgot about or never knew about and got pulled really off our course?
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  So now let's deal with all the stuff that's pulled off our course.
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  Let's try to unwind all of that, heal that, that's what
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  healing usually looks like.
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  I'm gonna let go of the coordinates that were punched in before
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  telling me it had to be over here.
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  It had to be this way.
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  And I'm going to re enter them so that they are on course
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  with who I'm meant to be.
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  So we have to let go of all of the old ways.
• 13:40
  We have to let go of all the old ways of operating and the things
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  that we believed were true.
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  So that we can believe in and walk the path of our actual purpose.
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  And that can sound complicated.
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  Okay, well, how do we do all of that?
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  How do we walk the path of our purpose?
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  That's why the mechanics of human design do break down into a pretty simple
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  framework of strategy and authority.
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  It's why we always come back to it.
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  Because the other stuff can get overwhelming, it can get really confusing.
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  We can try to be pulling apart all of these pieces of ourselves
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  and trying to fix it all.
• 14:17
  And asking ourselves, what do I do about this?
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  And the answer is, deal with your old trauma, feel your feelings, and
• 14:28
  follow your strategy and authority.
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  I'm a manifesting generator, I'm an emotional authority.
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  When all else fails, I trust in response.
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  I know when I am trying to initiate something, why I feel frustrated, that's
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  the not self theme of a manifesting generator and generators in general.
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  When I feel frustrated, I know that I'm not in alignment.
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  I'm not meant to be frustrated, I'm meant to be satisfied.
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  So that becomes my signpost.
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  So now I know when I'm out of alignment.
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  I know what I'm truly meant to be.
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  What's authentic to me?
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  Satisfaction.
• 15:03
  Peace.
• 15:04
  That's how I'm supposed to feel.
• 15:06
  And if I don't feel that way, then something's wrong.
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  And not wrong like I have to shame myself for it.
• 15:14
  Wrong like, there's a correction that needs to be made in something that
• 15:18
  I'm doing or some way that I'm being.
• 15:20
  It gives me a way to interact with myself and coach myself through life.
• 15:27
  I'm an emotional authority.
• 15:28
  I've got to feel real comfortable with waiting.
• 15:31
  I've got to get real good at knowing that clarity comes over time.
• 15:35
  The more comfortable I get with that, the more in alignment I am.
• 15:40
  Then the rest of the stuff becomes the homework.
• 15:43
  Let me dig into this conditioning pattern.
• 15:45
  Let me look at these past feelings that I have not wanted to feel.
• 15:50
  Let me go into all of this other past trauma, experiences that maybe
• 15:57
  are weighing me down and making it harder for me to follow my
• 16:00
  strategy and authority with power.
• 16:03
  This is the process of living in alignment or what I call becoming unshakeable,
• 16:09
  becoming that unshakeable human.
• 16:12
  This is the process, and conditioning is the window, we think of it as such a bad
• 16:17
  thing, I don't want to be conditioned.
• 16:18
  We're all conditioned.
• 16:20
  It's understanding how did we end up here, how did we get here, and then
• 16:24
  where you're conditioned becomes the clue to how you get unconditioned.
• 16:28
  Projectors, I always say, when you stop operating from the not self of
• 16:32
  your sacral center, of feeling like you need to work and work and work.
• 16:35
  When you start to truly wait for invitations and recognize how often you
• 16:40
  are just trying to go and go and go, And you're not taking the rest, and you feel
• 16:45
  like you don't know when enough is enough, which is the not self of the sacral.
• 16:49
  When projectors go to that biggest one for them, which is usually the biggest
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  one for projectors is usually, and all non sacrals really, is the sacral center.
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  When you decondition that sacral center, and you learn to not give in to that pull
• 17:05
  to work and work and work, when you change that, life changes very, very quickly.
• 17:11
  Things start to go into alignment very, very quickly for projectors when you
• 17:15
  truly stop following that conditioning.
• 17:19
  So conditioning gives us a clue into exactly where the work is.
• 17:23
  Like I've always said, trauma work, your triggers will tell us more
• 17:27
  about where your healing needs to be than all of the books that you
• 17:31
  could read or journaling you can do.
• 17:34
  Follow your triggers and you can decondition and you can heal
• 17:37
  trauma real quickly if you look real closely at your triggers.
• 17:43
  It's the same thing with conditioning.
• 17:45
  If you start to look at where you are more susceptible to conditioning
• 17:50
  and then notice where you are actually conditioned, Then that tells
• 17:55
  you that's not authentically you.
• 17:56
  Anything that is conditioned is not authentically you.
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  And if you work on that, you get closer and closer to your authenticity.
• 18:05
  So.
• 18:06
  I hope that this concept landed for you, that you're understanding how
• 18:09
  conditioning affects your authenticity and how this is not a death sentence.
• 18:15
  Actually, if you could start noticing your conditioning, you start noticing
• 18:18
  exactly what you need to do to correct it to be the most authentic version of you.
• 18:22
  So you can live your purpose and live in alignment with your purpose and become
• 18:26
  what I call the unshakeable human.
• 18:28
  And if you're interested in becoming an unshakeable human, then I have something
• 18:32
  very exciting to share with you.
• 18:33
  We are launching a brand new program called Unshakeable Human.
• 18:38
  And it is everything that I've been talking about here and in the centers
• 18:41
  series, and even in the profile line series, we're going to go through type,
• 18:45
  authority, profile, all nine centers.
• 18:49
  You get a digital course.
• 18:51
  You also get four live lessons with me.
• 18:55
  And two Q& A calls.
• 18:57
  This is going to be such an amazing, really in depth human design program.
• 19:03
  If you want to live in alignment, this is the program for you.
• 19:07
  And we're doing a waitlist.
• 19:08
  So the waitlist is a little bit different.
• 19:10
  DM me the word embody waitlist to get on it or go to
• 19:13
  nicolelaino.com/embody-waitlist and you can sign up right there.
• 19:19
  But the waitlist is going to be different.
• 19:21
  It's not just a waitlist and then we send you an email and tell you how you can buy.
• 19:25
  Waitlist gets you a pass to 50 percent off the regular price of this program.
• 19:31
  And the first person to buy the program will be refunded their money in full.
• 19:36
  They will get 100 percent of their money back.
• 19:38
  So if you are the first person to buy, if you're like, I know this is for me,
• 19:42
  then mark your calendar for the day that we open the waitlist and you will not
• 19:45
  only get 50 percent off but you actually have the chance if you buy to get that
• 19:49
  email from us that says actually you were number one, you get all of your
• 19:52
  money back so you get this for free.
• 19:54
  Everybody else will still get that 50 percent off, that amazing
• 19:57
  deal that we are offering here.
• 19:58
  It's really really cool, this felt like a really fun thing for us
• 20:01
  to do so we're excited about it, we've never done anything like it
• 20:04
  before so we're testing it out.
• 20:06
  I hope that you sign up for the waitlist so that you can get the 50 percent off and
• 20:10
  join us in the Unshakeable Human program.
• 20:12
  It's going to be a beautiful, exciting, transformative six weeks together.
• 20:17
  I cannot wait for it.
• 20:18
  I hope that you join us there.
• 20:19
  Remember, DM me embody waitlist on Instagram.
• 20:21
  I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial.
• 20:23
  Or go to nicolelaino.com/embody-waitlist embodywaitlist and you can sign up there.
• 20:27
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 20:28
  Thank you always for being here.
• 20:30
  I appreciate you more than I could ever tell you.
• 20:33
  Thank you so much.
• 20:33
  And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
• 20:36
  first become an unshakeable human.
• 20:39
  So thanks for letting us help you in becoming unshakeable
• 20:41
  with human design, everybody.
• 20:42
  We'll see you next time.
• 20:45
  If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
• 20:47
  us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
• 20:50
  the show and leave us a review.
• 20:51
  And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
• 20:54
  design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 20:58
  Go to nicolelaino.
• 21:00
  me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
• 21:04
  design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
• 21:07
  We'll see you there.