Latest / Reclaiming Consciousness / Feeling Your Feelings
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: I think that the whole therapy model is deeply flawed.
- 0:05SPEAKER_00: And that's not talking shit to any therapist.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: All the good therapists have gone out of their way to get their own training in certain areas that they want to learn and understand about.
- 0:18SPEAKER_00: I look at things like any symptom like depression or anxiety or things like chronic pain, especially pain in the body, is all a message.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: It's all just trying to get you to stop and listen to the deeper message that's coming from your soul, your higher self, whatever it is.
- 0:39SPEAKER_00: There's always a reason why you feel how you feel.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: And if you tell yourself that you shouldn't feel that way, that doesn't function or change anything.
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
- 0:51SPEAKER_00: I'm Elise Bassine, trauma and breath work expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
- 1:09SPEAKER_00: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
- 1:19SPEAKER_00: You'll hear stories and teachings of expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
- 1:32SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
- 1:46SPEAKER_00: I leave tomorrow night.
- 1:48SPEAKER_00: And I have just been thinking about a lot of different things that have come up for clients recently.
- 1:55SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to address some of them.
- 1:58SPEAKER_00: And I really wanted to go into just some of the ways that I see things that are not quote unquote normal or what is traditionally thought.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: And in terms of the metamorphosis method, or just like my methodology and the way that I look at healing trauma, healing childhood wounding, creating transformation, I think there are a lot of misconceptions or ways that people might apply certain concepts in this work that are not exactly right or true.
- 2:40SPEAKER_00: And it's not even just right or true, actually.
- 2:42SPEAKER_00: It's more that just doesn't work well.
- 2:46SPEAKER_00: I've always been so interested in how do we get you where you want to go the fastest?
- 2:52SPEAKER_00: You know, and I always say I never set out to do inner child work.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: That wasn't like something that I aspired to do, but it was more like, what is the fastest way to get you to where you want to go?
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: Like if you feel stuck, if you feel indecisive, if you are plateaued in your business or your career, or you just feel like you want more out of life and you already created the things you thought you wanted, and you keep gaslighting yourself to be like, I should be happy, but you're not.
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: There's always a reason why you feel how you feel.
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: And if you tell yourself that you shouldn't feel that way, that doesn't function or change anything.
- 3:36SPEAKER_00: It's just gonna keep persisting until you ignore it long enough and then you end up getting like a chronic illness or a car accident or something.
- 3:45SPEAKER_00: And that's not to be doomsday, is just how energy works, right?
- 3:49SPEAKER_00: If you don't listen to the subtle cues, the cues will start to get not so subtle of like, no, no, no, no, go this way, go this way, no, no, no.
- 3:56SPEAKER_00: Okay, you're not listening.
- 3:57SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm literally gonna T-bone your car to get you to go in a different direction.
- 4:02SPEAKER_00: That happened to me in 2023.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: And it was, it was actually a sign for me to go in a different direction in a lot of ways.
- 4:12SPEAKER_00: And I did eventually.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: But I look at things like car accidents or any symptom like depression or anxiety or things like chronic pain, especially pain in the body, is all a message.
- 4:28SPEAKER_00: It's all just trying to get you to stop and listen to the deeper message that's coming from your soul, your higher self, whatever it is.
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: And when we ignore that longer and longer, the messages get louder and louder.
- 4:43SPEAKER_00: And then we think like, well, nothing's working.
- 4:45SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, you're not actually listening to the deeper message because it might not align with what you decided your life should look like, or what you thought you wanted that was going to make you happy, or what you thought you needed to do in life.
- 5:01SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times I see people who think they want something and they're pushing really hard to get it or create it or do it.
- 5:12SPEAKER_00: And the reason why they're hitting one roadblock after another, or it feels like nothing's working, is actually because the energy that they're wanting that from is coming from wounding.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: It's not authentic to their soul necessarily, or at least not the way they're going about it.
- 5:32SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we have these unconscious motivations of, well, when I do this, then I will feel worthy, or when I do this, then you know, my parents will finally approve of me.
- 5:47SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't think you want approval from your parents.
- 5:50SPEAKER_00: Most people are not walking around thinking that it's like a deep unconscious driver from this part of you that has that unmet need.
- 6:01SPEAKER_00: And usually we're not conscious of it.
- 6:03SPEAKER_00: So I think it's important to take the things I'm saying, not literally, but energetically, because a lot of times I'll say stuff and people will be like, Well, I don't feel that way.
- 6:14SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yeah, you don't consciously feel that way, but on some level, you feel that way.
- 6:19SPEAKER_00: You're just not aware of it, which is fine.
- 6:22SPEAKER_00: I mean, largely we want to be able to pinpoint these things in the subconscious that are driving the bus so that we can change them.
- 6:30SPEAKER_00: So it's not bad.
- 6:32SPEAKER_00: It's just like an unraveling and an excavating of the things that you haven't yet looked at and haven't yet been willing to look at.
- 6:42SPEAKER_00: I think that one of the things that I see often enough is, like I said, the application of certain spiritual concepts or personal growth concepts in a very black and white way that doesn't actually work.
- 6:59SPEAKER_00: So, for example, I have a lot of clients who have been involved with Buddhism and Buddhist teachings in some way, shape, or form to an extreme degree or to like a smaller degree.
- 7:11SPEAKER_00: I think that there is so much value in the Buddhist teachings, in Buddhism itself.
- 7:18SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that I've learned, and we talked about this a little bit in my episode with Word.
- 7:23SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that I've learned about Buddhism that I've applied that have really helped me.
- 7:29SPEAKER_00: So this is in no way saying it's bad or wrong, but I really think there's something about just like reading about certain practices or certain ways of thinking or belief systems that if you apply it without other ingredients, then it ends up doing more damage than good, right?
- 7:55SPEAKER_00: Because also we have to remember that whenever we study any ancient teachings, we have to be able to take that information and apply it for our specific energy, right?
- 8:09SPEAKER_00: And for the world that we live in now.
- 8:12SPEAKER_00: Because when those teachings were created, the world was a very different place.
- 8:17SPEAKER_00: And we have to like have awareness of that and also be able to use your own intuition, discernment, thinking, whatever you want to call it, to like extract what is gonna work for you and apply it in a way that's gonna work for you, right?
- 8:36SPEAKER_00: So, an example of this would be a concept like karma, right?
- 8:41SPEAKER_00: Which I think is a very real thing in many ways.
- 8:44SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of the principles around it that I apply and I think that they work.
- 8:50SPEAKER_00: However, you know, if you take that concept and apply it as a black and white thing, when, say, for example, you are trying to start a business and you keep coming up against the same roadblocks, or you know, you keep hitting the same wall or you keep getting stuck in the same place, maybe it's around putting yourself out there, or maybe it's around bringing in more than a couple of clients, whatever it is, you like hit this wall.
- 9:20SPEAKER_00: If you were just applying that principle of karma, then you might think, oh, well, I must have done something to somebody before that is stopping me from making money or stopping me from being seen more or something.
- 9:38SPEAKER_00: And then if you're just looking at it through that lens, then you're kind of like gaslighting yourself to be like, okay, how can I help other people or, you know, kind of like erase this karma and and try to figure out like when I did that and how I can make up for that energetically or whatever.
- 10:00SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that might be true, but it's also not helpful in your process because it's ignoring a very big factor, which is your subconscious.
- 10:11SPEAKER_00: And when we look at something like, you know, the fear of being seen, there's probably some childhood wounding in there that is making it feel unsafe for you to be seen.
- 10:21SPEAKER_00: But if you're strictly just applying these other concepts to it without looking at all of these other ingredients, all of these other factors, and specifically your subconscious, then you're missing what's actually underneath of everything, you know?
- 10:40SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that doing the work around your childhood and looking at where all these things started is the only thing to do, although I think it's like pretty goddamn important.
- 10:53SPEAKER_00: But I think that like stuff like that can get applied in this very black and white way, and especially if you are learning from teachers who are like, this is the way, like you don't need to do anything else.
- 11:04SPEAKER_00: This is the way, and you listen to that, then you just end up being stuck in a loop and then trying to just think positive your way out of it or whatever it is, and don't actually ever really move forward.
- 11:19SPEAKER_00: You might like feel better, but nothing in your life is actually changing, right?
- 11:24SPEAKER_00: I got into a conversation yesterday with my Kalari teacher, who I'm actually going to India to study with, and he was talking about the idea of spiritual practice and how that is the thing that keeps him and you know, the way that they see it in in his culture, like that's the thing that keeps you aligned.
- 11:47SPEAKER_00: That's the thing that keeps you from reliving the past or getting stuck in the past.
- 11:54SPEAKER_00: And that is the way forward, right?
- 11:57SPEAKER_00: Is if you are consistent with that spiritual practice, which I agree with wholeheartedly.
- 12:04SPEAKER_00: And he said, like, your work is probably really good for people who don't have that spiritual practice because you're helping them see, you know, the stuff that they're reliving.
- 12:14SPEAKER_00: But from our lens, we just look at it as like the spiritual practice is the way.
- 12:19SPEAKER_00: And I said, like, I actually think that it's both.
- 12:22SPEAKER_00: If you just focus solely on healing everything from your childhood and that being the only way forward and not doing some sort of practice to connect to the divine, to God, to your higher self, to spirit, then you're gonna be constantly spinning in this cycle of trying to heal some elusive thing, you know?
- 12:47SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where a lot of people now are saying, like, okay, well, stop being stuck in like a cycle of healing and just like live your life.
- 12:54SPEAKER_00: And like, yes, that's true.
- 12:56SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be stuck in a cycle of healing.
- 12:59SPEAKER_00: But the way I see it is live your life, do the thing, take the action, put yourself out there, do what you feel guided to do, but then be aware that your shit's gonna come up when you do that.
- 13:13SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know that that's the function of how this works, then you'll get stuck, right?
- 13:20SPEAKER_00: But if you take the action, you do the thing, and then the shit comes up, meaning your core wound, your fear, the I'm not good enough, maybe I'm not meant to do this, the fear of criticism, shame, shame comes up at every every turn, every new level.
- 13:39SPEAKER_00: Know that.
- 13:40SPEAKER_00: If you don't know that and you don't have the tools to move through it, the context for what's happening and the support, then that's where you get stuck, right?
- 13:49SPEAKER_00: So it's not about just like healing continuously over and over again and just doing it.
- 13:55SPEAKER_00: It's about living your life, taking the action that you know you want to take, but then when the stuff comes up, addressing it.
- 14:06SPEAKER_00: And the quicker you address it and the better you get at addressing it, the quicker you'll move.
- 14:12SPEAKER_00: Cause then you'll you'll address it, it'll dissipate, you'll take action again, then the shit comes up, then you address it, right?
- 14:20SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by address it?
- 14:21SPEAKER_00: Okay, so this is something that I feel like is so important.
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: And I don't think a lot of most people are talking about this because it is so much more than just changing your thinking about it, or changing your perspective, or being like, okay, I'm not gonna do that anymore, or that's my not good enough stuff.
- 14:40SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do that anymore.
- 14:41SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that might work for a little bit, but eventually you're gonna get to the point where the feelings are so overwhelming that you're not gonna be able to change your behavior because it feels so strong that the shame, right?
- 14:54SPEAKER_00: And it's or the I'm not good enough, or the fear of criticism, or whatever it is.
- 15:00SPEAKER_00: So there will be some point where you hit a wall and you will either be like burnt out or you will feel like nothing's working.
- 15:09SPEAKER_00: When I say address, what I mean is feel your feelings.
- 15:14SPEAKER_00: And that is a skill set.
- 15:16SPEAKER_00: So when I say feel your feelings, you're like, okay, I can do that, but it's a skill set.
- 15:20SPEAKER_00: And I think I talked about this on the last podcast.
- 15:23SPEAKER_00: But so much of what I end up doing with my clients is when stuff comes up, we make sense of it, right?
- 15:30SPEAKER_00: I give them context.
- 15:31SPEAKER_00: Here's what's happening.
- 15:32SPEAKER_00: And actually, we're right on schedule because this is the shit we we said we were gonna work on.
- 15:37SPEAKER_00: Here it is, it's coming up, right?
- 15:39SPEAKER_00: But when it comes up, it feels like the world is ending or shit's hitting the fan or nothing's working, it's always gonna be this way.
- 15:48SPEAKER_00: You know, that's what it feels like.
- 15:49SPEAKER_00: So it's it's hard to have that perspective and awareness completely on your own because when you're in it, it's very hard to see clearly what's going on until you get really good at this.
- 16:01SPEAKER_00: So I give them context, here's what's happening.
- 16:05SPEAKER_00: And then I give them a way to move through it and to feel the feelings from the perspective of where they started.
- 16:13SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, I have like these little breath works that I've created for them.
- 16:17SPEAKER_00: Like one is called Feel Your Feelings, and it guides you through feeling your feelings, through the lens of where they started, shifting them out of the body and then coming back into your power.
- 16:28SPEAKER_00: And the more that you develop that as your own practice, the better you get at feeling your feelings and moving through the triggers that come up regularly.
- 16:38SPEAKER_00: But the problem is that until you really dive into this work and start doing it, most of the time we're not even aware that we're having these feelings come up.
- 16:49SPEAKER_00: They might present themselves as some sort of trigger or some sort of, oh, I shouldn't do that, or oh, let me just wait to figure that out or do that because I don't know if I should do this or that, or I want to wait until I have this thing organized, or I need to make sure my content is better, or um, I need to make sure my website is better, whatever the story is.
- 17:16SPEAKER_00: There's usually a story around it that like you think is true, but it's actually just you trying to prevent yourself from feeling that feeling that's bubbling up.
- 17:26SPEAKER_00: But we don't even realize we're doing that because we've been creating these coping mechanisms or stories to prevent ourselves from being uncomfortable for so long.
- 17:36SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
- 17:37SPEAKER_00: The body and the psyche have these protection mechanisms to try to prevent us from getting hurt again.
- 17:44SPEAKER_00: But when you're willing to go into that pain or fear or shame that's being held in the body, then the energy moves and it becomes a lot more clear and easier to move forward.
- 17:59SPEAKER_00: This is a process that, you know, I've developed that really walks you through feeling your feelings in an effective, productive way that gets you somewhere.
- 18:13SPEAKER_00: No one does this in therapy.
- 18:15SPEAKER_00: And I don't even think there's a lot of somatic practitioners that do this because yes, it's about getting you in your body and about moving energy and feeling, but how can we do it in the most productive, most efficient way in the moment to get you from A to B?
- 18:35SPEAKER_00: And like that's what I'm really interested in, and that's what I've developed here that um I think is unique and different from what anyone else is doing.
- 18:46SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you learn how to do that in the metamorphosis when you're applying this work for yourself.
- 18:51SPEAKER_00: But then also for my practitioners that I train in the certification, I'm really training you on how to effectively pinpoint someone's core wound and what that deeper emotion is, and then walk them through it so they can get where they want to go.
- 19:08SPEAKER_00: And, you know, they all get really good at it, but they all get really good at it too because they have learned how to do it for themselves.
- 19:15SPEAKER_00: And I always say my best practitioners are the ones who are super dedicated to doing their own work.
- 19:22SPEAKER_00: And it always like shocks me and blows my mind when I hear about like therapists who don't do their own personal growth work.
- 19:30SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, how are you a therapist then?
- 19:34SPEAKER_00: And you know, I think that the whole therapy model is deeply flawed, and that's not talking shit to any therapist.
- 19:43SPEAKER_00: The all the good therapists have gone out of their way to get their own training in certain areas that they want to learn and understand about.
- 19:54SPEAKER_00: Because when you go to school, I have a master's degree in counseling psychology, they didn't mention trauma one time in my whole master's program.
- 20:03SPEAKER_00: And that to me is the cornerstone of helping people shift and change their lives, is looking at their childhood trauma and wounding.
- 20:13SPEAKER_00: And they don't talk about that in therapy training at all, really.
- 20:18SPEAKER_00: There really, in my opinion, has to be like a huge paradigm shift in that whole area.
- 20:24SPEAKER_00: And, you know, a lot of the women who've done my certification who are therapists came in because they saw that their clients were dealing with some sort of childhood trauma and they didn't have the skill set to walk them through it and help them shift it.
- 20:39SPEAKER_00: And now they do, you know, and I think any helping profession, whether you're a coach or I've had a lot of fitness coaches, business coaches, physical therapists, health coaches, all of that.
- 20:54SPEAKER_00: If you feel like there are certain points with your clients where you either feel like there's something underneath that you're not quite accessing with them, or you feel like they are doing all the things, but they're not making the progress that you really would like them to make, or things aren't shifting, or they still kind of repeat the same patterns, then this is why, because there's just a layer that you haven't gotten to that you wouldn't know how to get to because no one ever showed you, nobody talks about this.
- 21:29SPEAKER_00: And I think the whole paradigm really needs to shift in terms of what are the unconscious, unmet needs that you are playing out from childhood, what are the suppressed emotions around that, and how can we feel them and release them from the body in the most efficient, supportive way so that you can change and that's it.
- 21:52SPEAKER_00: It's simple, but it's not easy.
- 21:54SPEAKER_00: That's what I always say.
- 21:55SPEAKER_00: So I think there is a paradigm shift that I See needs to happen that I am intentionally creating around even how we talk about trauma, therapy, all of these different practices, is it's just like, how do we effectively feel our feelings?
- 22:15SPEAKER_00: And a lot of sadly, a lot of the stuff that goes on in therapy and and like the healing spaces is people wanting to feel like they're doing the work, but really they're doing things to continue avoiding how they feel.
- 22:28SPEAKER_00: Like I had this experience where I was, I was subbing for my friend at his breath work studio, and I taught a group, and I had this woman come in who, you know, was used to doing this like holotropic breath work where they like scream and yell and carry on the whole time.
- 22:46SPEAKER_00: And like, no offense to people who do that.
- 22:48SPEAKER_00: I don't think there's anything wrong with it per se.
- 22:51SPEAKER_00: But this woman was like triggered that like that wasn't what we were doing or whatever.
- 22:56SPEAKER_00: And she had a problem with it.
- 22:59SPEAKER_00: And I think she had a problem with it because when you do that kind of thing, most of it is to avoid feeling.
- 23:10SPEAKER_00: And you think you're getting somewhere by screaming and yelling and making all these noises and flailing and everything.
- 23:16SPEAKER_00: But and that can be okay for a moment if the body needs to do that.
- 23:21SPEAKER_00: But after that, it becomes avoidance and it becomes a way for you to get out of your body and not feel because what feeling your feelings and processing them really requires is presence and being in your body and feeling them and relaxing into them.
- 23:43SPEAKER_00: And yes, if you need to like yell or cry or shake or whatever, that's okay.
- 23:49SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying this isn't like black and white and that's bad.
- 23:53SPEAKER_00: It's usually never the thing itself, it's always the energy behind it.
- 23:56SPEAKER_00: And a lot of these practices that are about, you know, screaming and yelling and flailing and all of this stuff, people will unknowingly use it as a way to avoid.
- 24:11SPEAKER_00: And we all do things to avoid, right?
- 24:15SPEAKER_00: And I think plant medicine is the same thing.
- 24:17SPEAKER_00: While yes, it can give you an experience and show you the information that you need to know and a perspective, you still need to do the work and you still need to feel the feelings that are stopping you from integrating that perspective and living that perspective.
- 24:34SPEAKER_00: And I'm actually going to be collabing with my friend Daniel.
- 24:38SPEAKER_00: He's a psychedelic integration like specialist to teach this to his trainees because I think it's so important and I think it's something that is uh easily avoided if we don't bring intention and awareness to it.
- 24:55SPEAKER_00: And even a lot of the way that we can just talk about what's going on and intellectualize everything, especially people who are really smart, and I have a lot of them.
- 25:07SPEAKER_00: When you're really smart, you can intellectualize things in a way that you think you're feeling them, but you're not, you're intellectualizing them.
- 25:17SPEAKER_00: And there's nuance to it.
- 25:19SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I learned this not that long ago because my coping mechanism was to leave my body, and I didn't know that until I don't know, four or five years ago, really in a real way.
- 25:34SPEAKER_00: And then to really learn what it is to stay in my body and feel, and then stretch my capacity for that and really relax into the discomfort, that's when things really shift and change.
- 25:49SPEAKER_00: And, you know, and it's not just about feeling your feelings, it's also about the awareness of what is this really?
- 25:57SPEAKER_00: Where is this coming from?
- 25:59SPEAKER_00: How is this showing up in my life?
- 26:01SPEAKER_00: And how can I, instead of projecting it out here, address it in here, feel it, move through it, be present with it, have compassion for it, accept it, honor it, be with it.
- 26:16SPEAKER_00: And that's how the shift is created.
- 26:19SPEAKER_00: So my next episode will either be when I'm in India or when I get back.
- 26:25SPEAKER_00: Hopefully it will be when I'm in India, or at least, you know, recorded while I was in India, it might come out when I get back.
- 26:32SPEAKER_00: But please reach out to me if you have questions about anything, if you have questions about the best way for you to dive into this work, or also if you have questions about if this work will help you or if it applies to you in your specific situation.
- 26:47SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to chat with you.
- 26:48SPEAKER_00: And also don't forget to check out my YouTube channel.
- 26:52SPEAKER_00: I've been putting a lot of great content up there every week on Wednesdays, and I'm doing a series on the mother wound right now, which is really important stuff to uh dive into.
- 27:04SPEAKER_00: It's like the cornerstone of my work, the cornerstone of the metamorphosis.
- 27:08SPEAKER_00: So don't forget to check that out and also don't forget to rate and review the podcast because it really helps the show get be searchable.
- 27:18SPEAKER_00: And also, if you are interested in diving into any work with me, when you send me a screenshot of your review on Apple, I will take$250 off of whatever thing you join that's new.
- 27:33SPEAKER_00: So I really appreciate that.
- 27:34SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate all of you and being here on the podcast.
- 27:39SPEAKER_00: And I will see you after India.
- 27:42SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.
- 27:44SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
- 27:46SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
- 27:49SPEAKER_00: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
- 27:54SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world.
- 28:01SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at elise underscore breeds.
- 28:06SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my Clear Trauma Cheat Sheet at elisebreeds.com.
- 28:10SPEAKER_00: See you next time.